Original subtitles

It’s fine. I can sit outside. It’s okay.

Huh?

I can sit over there, without.

No I had a bench here. I just can’t see where I’ve put it.

Do you want me to call father?

You want me to call father?

Yes I want to talk to him today.

Is he available, or is tomorrow better?

Some places I want to check out. Will my father take us there?

Yes.

You think my father can take us to these places?

Yeah I think so.

How’s thing’s?

What are you doing now? What are you up too?

- I’m taking these to burn. - To burn?

Yes.

- For the mosquitos? Or just to light stuff? - I’m going to bake peanuts.

- Really? - Yes.

Where?

Can I join you?

If I stay one week. I will speak Creole perfectly again.

I’m a boy from Guinea Bissau.

I left home to meet my mother, in 2005.

I haven’t come back to the motherland in seventeen years.

So far I have seen some changes but I don't know.

I don't know if it’s for better or for worse

It’s better.

My father has twelve kids,

with six differen’twomen.

We are Papel Tribe, Chinese, and other mixes.

From all over.

Is this what you always thought?

Not a hundred percent.

How come?

Oh, because I think he always had,

He had what?

He had eyes on others.

Other sightings?

Yes.

What kind of eyes are you saying?

What kind eyes are you saying?

He always had other relationships on the side.

He was never a hundred percent.

And you still loved him?

- Yes, of course. Yes - Always.

Do you remember how his heart was back then

Because we know how it is today.

How did he carry himself then, your the only one who knows that?

I used to feel blissful.

But in those blissful moments, did you feel unique?

Yes, Yes.

And you weren’t pregnant yet?

No. We were together for four years before that.

Do you remember the day he said,

or uttered the words,

“I love you”?

Those words, never came out,

out of his mouth.

Can you give us advice.

On how to not be like him?

Or his grandchildren.

How do you think we can love him again?

Do you know who that is?

How old were you?

Twenty six and a half.

Almost twenty seven.

In Yugoslavia?

Yeah in Ljubljana.

Do you know who this is?

Yeah, grandmother.

Yeah grandmother.

It’s been awhile, it’s been awhile.

Your brother wants to stay downstairs because he's lazy.

Why is he being lazy? He has girls down there?

The house of the king.

No, it’s not the house of the king.

The room of the king.

Now you’re here you should go home, relax and take a cold shower.

What have you cooked for them to eat?

No worries it all good.

I already prepared everything. I just need to heat it up.

Don’t worry about it.

All he needs is six hours of good sleep and he will be back to normal.

Let me show you his nose.

I told him he is the prettiest of all of you.

But this part of his head is bigger than ours.

His forehead?

Yeah his forehead.

Tell him that your wiser.

Yeah mouth and your lips too.

If you touch him, your step mom will come after you?

- She loves him a lot. - That’s good, good, good.

Eny will teach you how to become an artist.

You see what he does,

karate.

For a long time you were my mother figure.

I just, I just want to say thank you very, very much.

During the war, you took care of us as if we your own.

I feel for you guys so much.

Even though at times we’re not always in contact.

Understand?

That’s the type of care I want to see you guys have between all of you.

For you guys not to fight amongst each other.

One day, you have to teach my kids how to swim

because I still have fear of swimming.

When I try to swim now.

Even now it’s still always very difficult.

You overcame your fears.

I overcame it. I now have more confidence because

my girlfriend is teaching me.

She says look into my eyes. I’m with you and I say “hey this is water”

Just imagine. One day you lose all your wealth and your family dies.

Then the husband got real sick with wounds over his whole body.

Let’s try to put ourselves in her shoes.

After a year of suffering he left us to rest in peace.

Life is hard but imagine the suffering the wife is going through.

When I got to America I asked my mother why didnt I see you or visit?

She said, if “I left America I would be banned”.

"I had no papers".

I said I didn’t know you had more problems than us here.

She said, “if you never knew you could alway ask your family”.

and you will know the truth.

But we're Africans, we don’t show our feelings inside.

It breaks us when we speak from within because we’re strong.

This is what kills me.

I know were strong. Why not show what’s within to your kids.

Tell them you love them. Give them hugs and kisses.

And to your fellow brothers tell them you will be ok.

We don’t have money today but we will be fine.

But together we will prevail.

Now I came back after seventeen years.

I use to be just like you

and now here I am.

We’re equal, our blood is the same

but our hearts and minds are different.

Especially how this place treats you and makes you different.

You remember the old man?

I remember, I remember.

How you doing? How you doing?

Look at him he got so old.

Old man you have a lot of white hair now, and good style.

Thank you.

These are the streets that matured me.

Matured you.

Yes. Matured. That’s it.

Because I left when I was young.

I left my mother’s house when I was nineteen.

Until now I live alone and I travel alone.

Everyone still looks the same and still smells the same.

People ask me where I’m from and I tell them I am from my mother.

They asked where your mother from. And I say Bissau.

I’m a child of Bissau.

Where is that?

What is that?

Now I have to tell people in a foreign country that I am a foreigner,

and now I am back and I feel like a foreigner.

Until someone recognise me.

You remember that mango tree? Been there a long time.

- And there use to be no house there. - Yeah it reminds me of my fathers tree.

The mangos use to be bigger than your head.

What’s been happening in our country? We don’t have fish, we don’t have nothing.

- Chinese come and take. - Of course they come and take.

They are sending our fish to Senegal and other countries.

Because our government is bad and full of thieves.

They’re stealing and doing their ways.

Let’s go this way.

Where does my younger brother play football now?

I think by his school.

Don’t cry, don’t cry. If you haven’t been breastfed go sit down.

I am just like my father with the heart of my mother.

My anger that I have within is just like my father,

but my hot blood comes from my mother.

I can’t stand being in the same place when someone abusive to others.

Because we're all humans.

You know the reason why Bissau is,

I know what your saying. I know what your saying.

We come from our mother and our father.

Even when our fathers do us wrong, we have to step back.

- Because he then goes back and reflects. - You understand what I am saying?

I heard yesterday he couldn’t sleep and that's why were here.

Yeah because he reflects and realises perhaps my kids are right.

The ants love you.

This is why everyone keeps repeating the cycle and it never ends.

This is why everyone keeps telling me to respect your elders.

When you’re in a different country you start to have problems,

and you don’t know why.

Then you start to reflect and realise it all started where you come from.

Everyone is so tough on the outside and no one wants to shed a tear.

Because they have pain inside.

But also I want to know my father’s story.

What he’s been through in England, in Germany, Slovenia and Yugoslavia.

- This is what I want to know. - You want to know his story?

After, I want to ask him what’s he has been feeling inside.

It really gives me pain to know the person I saw as superman.

Doesn't understand that his own kids have so much trauma.

We all do.

My girlfriend was going to come with me from Europe

but she good, good.

She good?

She good, she good.

Yeah, she’s good.

What I desire from my father,

is that one day he could see us and give us a moment to really listen.

My family is very together.

That’s what I’m saying.

But my father is the only one who is trying to divide us.

Do you know what I’m saying?

I spoke with him yesterday that I’ve been waiting for a week to talk,

and all he said was that “he had more important things to do.”

I wanted to ask him about the time that my mother came here with my step dad

with a gift that I got for father.

Exactly.

So I could meet him with respect since he raised us overseas.

You know what my father did?

He told my younger brother he was busy was watching football.

I know he hasn’t changed.

Listen, I told him, it took us seventeen years to come back.

Now, I have space to live my life.

All I wanted to do is speak with him about this

Remember what’s in the past is in the past

- Do you know both of them? - Yes I know them well.

- Do you remember our grandparents well? - I remember them very well, very well.

What do you remember about them? Did they have hot blood also?

Well our grandmother was a woman but with “the blood of man”.

When she would get to the rice field, she would get in the mud.

And carry the wood on her head.

She would fill up the canoe until it was completely full.

Where in Catio?

- Yeah in Catio. - Catio.

This is the way it was.

And we have another grandfather of Chinese mix, that was deaf.

The other tribes use to call him man with many ears.

He looked like he had seven ears on top of each other.

He was a great fisherman.

I use to be forced to go fishing with him when I was a kid,

and if I didn’t go I would get spanked.

But he was deaf.

- Wait he couldn’t hear anything? - He can’t hear nothing.

He could hear nothing.

He was the brother of our grandmother?

Yeah, he was the brother of our grandmother

If he spoke with you and you didn’t pay attention, he would beat you

Wait wait, what’s the name of our father’s father?

Yeah I know.

I remember when we were in the war, at a refugee camp.

Listen, listen, they started bombing our camp.

You took my sister and put her over your shoulder,

and you ran to the river.

You’re the only one who could swim and we were running behind you.

You swam across the high current to get a canoe.

I was in shock and stuck in the mud watching.

My brother held on to the root of tree, fighting for his life.

My older brother was standing on the side.

My sister was in the corner and people were dying everywhere.

I remember this lady who had a baby in a basket.

The current flipped the basket. So much pain.

I looked across the river and saw you trying to push,

pushing and dragging the canoe to save us.

I remember how bad it was, like it was yesterday.

Our father was not there.

After the ceasefire, he told us to comeback.

At that moment, I remember my sister said her first words.

She said “I was dirty with mud”.

But you were always there with us and for us.

We don’t have a cousin who was there the same way you were.

I want to record all these stories.

Because I don't want my children one day to be like me,

and have as many questions about their family as I do now.

I don't want to tell them I don't know. Now you have helped me understand.

Good.

I even go to church because I am still confused.

I still ask if the power of the devil is greater than the power of god.

Because you go to church to ask god for a miracle.

When he does give it to you it takes forever and you don't believe it.

When you go the devil to ask for something.

For example to kill someone or ask for money and he does it right away.

When strange things happen to the family, its not cause of a stranger.

Everything you see happens in the family,

it’s because someone from within the family did it.

And all this gets inside your head and this is what happened to your father.

I'm the only nephew that stood by him.

He has so many nephews here in Bissau but people got between us and he changed.

But then something dark started to separate the family.

No one could look each other in the eye, out of jealously that someone is better.

When someone has a downfall he can never be heard, their not important anymore.

Only the important ones can be heard.

You got good hair.

African arm.

Say it in English?

Should I say it?

The scars that I have, we all have because you gave your pain to all of us.

I can’t live like this.

Your saying that I hurt you and I did you wrong.

But you didn’t know that you hurt me as well.

But how did I do that?

Now you have to let me explain to you what I think you did wrong to me.

That’s what you don’t want to hear.

No, because you keep interrupting me so I won’t speak.

Did you say all that you want to say now?

Listen to me carefully.

Maybe this is the last time you hear it from me because I might not be alive.

But I have to tell you something.

Today you might think I am nothing to you and you don’t need me.

You listening?

One, no man out there in the world, will like you the way I do.

Don’t forget that.

So your a god now?

Will like you or love you.

No one understands.

Not a single child of mine acts like this.

Yeah very different. Very different

Good for you that I’m not the only child.

I have my own voice and heart.

You know what you don’t understand life.

I don’t understand life?

You’re not smart.

I’m not smart?

If you were smart you would understand what’s going on and wouldn’t speak up.

You wouldn’t dare speak to me this way.

You remember what was happening. You were telling me everything.

No! No one ever beat your mother.

You don't want to hear anything I have to say.

You only care about your mother. Go and don't come back.

You go on your way or everything will turn ugly right now.

You go on your way or everything will turn ugly right now.

- Why do you keep saying this? - I'm not going to let you do this.

I’m at my limit.

- I don't want to speak with you anymore. - Just go. Take him away.

It hasn’t been raining a lot?

This year it hasn’t a lot, you can feel the heat in the temperature.

What we wanted to know is where our mother and father’s family comes from.

Who our ancestors are.

No matter the truth, we just want to learn anything we can.

Anything that comes from you can be insightful,

because our father is a difficult man.

- Difficult - Difficult

Yet our,

our mother was still with our father,

which is how we came into this world.

No matter what, you are still family.

Even after the war we weren’t allowed to see you. It gave us so much pain.

We don’t know why our father let us suffer like that.

Anything you can remember will be helpful.

I know we're a very mixed family, but in the end we’re all Africans.

But when we come here we’re all white, which is what they call us.

Your mother use to love your father very much.

What I wanted to know is how they got together?

I don’t know.

I don’t know how they got together.

We came here to connect with our family and have our family photos.

Auntie is this you?

- Is this you? - Yes

You said it's going to windy?

Windy?

Is it going to be windy when we’re on board

Will it be strong?

You’re wondering if it’s going to be windy?

- Tomorrow? - That’s what I want to know.

Yeah, it’s good!

Yeah the shrimp.

I know.

How old were you when your father died?

- Twenty two. - Twenty Two?

He died in nineteen eighty nine. I just turned twenty two.

How old was our mother then?

Younger.

She was the youngest.

I believe she was fifteen, according to my calculations.

So you always protected your family?

No I didn’t always do that.

When I finished high school all I wanted, was to go back to the island and fish,

which I did for six months.

When I got back to the city to apply for a scholarship to study overseas,

is when your grandfather passed way.

When my father died, no one bothered to tell me about the funeral in Bijanti.

Including my uncle who had to go work at a different island.

All they had to do is call me but they didn’t call any of us.

This is when the family started to get separated at the island.

I asked my mother if she knew,

about everyone in the family dividing the land.

She said no and I told her that’s what they’re doing.

The only interest I ever had was for all of us to come together.

Because we could have saved the land instead of fighting for it,

and leaving it in ruins.

If you would describe our grandfather in one word,

what would he be?

My father?

Very forward.

Forward?

Very strong, forward and direct with everyone no matter who you are.

He doesn’t sugar coat what he means. He tells you what he thinks.

If he was still alive, we would have had a better life today.

Another thing I wanted to ask you was,

when you got back and saw my mother who was younger than my sister,

and she was with my father.

What did you think about that?

I told her the truth. If you want to study in the Soviet Union. You should go.

because you have the grades and talent for it.

Did you believe in my father or have confidence in him?

I don’t intervene in other peoples lives.

I know.

I told your mother you have no reason to stay, if someone is mistreating you.

That was the last time I tried to get involved in her life.

My only purpose is to keep unity in the family.

I never hold grudges to anyone in the family

That’s why I am grateful you both came to go visit the islands of your ancestors.

That’s all I ever wanted for my family.

We never had the words to really tell you in our hearts. How truly grateful we are.

You went above and beyond to take us to Dakar so we could see our mother one day.

No one has ever done what you did for us.

Look, it was really good for me that I took you guys to Dakar.

I was really happy that I could contribute to your journey.

We were all together and no one could separate us.

I couldn’t get a taxi, so

I got a guy to bring me back to the hotel to grab my stuff.

I got my stuff and I went straight to the bus station to get back.

Uncle.

Love you.

Your good.

Goodbye, be safe.

Thank you very much.

I was born in Bissau and then moved to the United States at thirteen.

As a,

as a war refugee.

Where are you from?

Pilon.

Pilon

Catio.

Are you Manjaco, Papel?

No, Balanta tribe?

Yeah he’s Balanta.

Good. And you?

He’s Manjaco.

Manjaco.

Grandson of Balanta.

- Grandson. - I am Manjaco.

In Europe, and America they do the same thing.

They look at me weird and don’t ask how I am doing or what’s my name.

Just where I’m from.

I respond to them, “Hey my name is Eny, I’m good.”

I always think to myself America was indigenous and the whites came and stole.

I ask them do you know where you’re from? No.

I know where I am from and how my ancestors ended up here.

You brought them here, to America.

And you’re asking “us” where we’re from.

It’s natural. Everything about it is natural.

It’s different from any other place on earth.

If you ever have a chance to go to Orango, that is where the beauty and riches are.

Does the Queen still live there?

- She died already? - Who is the royal now?

Our grandparents.

Your grandparents, good good good.

I wanted to ask you again, Orango is behind that island right?

- No it’s behind those islands - So you go that way.

If we have time we would love to go see everything.

And see all the other small islands of my ancestors,

with my aunt.

My grandfather had seventeen children.

Yeah and I am six of thirteen from my father.

And my uncle has over thirty.

Everyone likes to have sex.

Orango has a lot of history and life and that’s why we have to go visit them.

Our story is very important.

Just like many black people in foreign countries,

not knowing where they’re from.

Most of them came from slave ships from Guinea Bissau.

They don’t know about their country.

If you want to know your past, you have to be willing to go back.

You have to come back that’s the truth.

You guys who live abroad need to have a union to help fix the country.

Here is way more peaceful than the main land.

When the war was happening, did it touch here?

Oh the war, you only hear noises from here, nothing happened here.

In the capital.

It was very bad in the capital.

Yes, we only heard noises from here.

- People come here to live? - Only refugees came during that time.

- I remember so many bad stories. - Yeah it was really sad stories.

Blacks killing blacks.

Asking each other what tribe you from? and what side are you on? What religion?

We we’re children, we didn’t know much, we we’re all very mixed.

All I knew is we were mixed like dogs.

How’s life?

I’m fighting it.

Are you also from the island?

Yeah but my father is from Cape Verdean.

That’s why you look a bit different.

Your grandfather raised me since I was a little boy.

All these young ones were born before my eyes.

- Do you remember. - All these kids were born in my hands.

Do you remember how tall he was?

- Who? - My grandfather.

He was a very strong man who had some height.

He was taller than me.

He was taller than me.

He had a big heart.

- We have to greet the others. - Let’s greet the others.

How’s the body doing?

I’m doing good.

You’re strong.

We need to show them the land.

- Yes. - We will show them.

How many cashew trees do you have?

How many cashew trees do you have?

Cashew?

Cashew?

Do you know?

I don’t know I have been living in the mainland, I just got back.

You have to ask the others.

Our mother is from here.

They all grew up with your mother.

Your grandfather raised all of them.

Is anyone taking care of the land?

We need workers.

Good afternoon.

- Eny, eat. - I will, you first.

We wanted to have memories,

so we could share it with our children and future generations.

I haven’t heard many stories of Orango.

We heard the stories of the queens and a little about our ancestors.

We had to come and pay our respects.

We made a decision to come back because we want to connect our family tree.

We don’t have a lot of knowledge about where we come from.

When your here, you can feel everything. You can feel the stories and history.

It’s all coming back.

It’s beautiful you all grew up here.

It’s surreal.

Auntie do you understand the language of the island?

A little bit.

So now you’re the whitey of the land.

And now you can’t go through it?

Yeah there is a little road.

It’s ok I just wanted to know if there is still a way through the land.

Around here there is a path.

Let’s go around so we can show you.

This is also the road that leads to the cemetery.

This is the graveyard.

We may not know exactly where he is buried,

but we know his spirit is with us and watching over us.

I told my sister this place is our future.

Is what?

This land.

Before it was the past but now it will be our future.

This place was so fantastic.

The river and the sea would live in harmony with each other.

The mango tree you have been walking under,

is where your grandfather’s land started.

It surrounds most of the island until reaches your grandparents place,

and it reaches your ancestors land.

The land was rich.

The soil has luck.

Everything you plant grows.

Even if we get together and try to fix the land, the forest will take over again.

That’s why we need people to live here, nurture and take care of the land.

Now there is not much power and most of us are old and losing strength.

We can’t do as much as we use too.

It’s a problem to get the workers to come,

- but to have them stay and commit - to tending to the land is hard.

Is it hard to find them?

We want someone young to help out with the land.

Like thirty or younger.

Anyone young doesn’t wan’t to stay.

It has to be someone whose ready to start a family.

They want to go live their life.

You see how we are, we’re fifty and sixty years old.

I don’t have anything exciting left.

I stay here with my wife and do what I can.

Offering wisdom.

Hey, I’m sitting right here.

I wanted to ask you another sensitive question.

You remember the day when the snake accident happened?

When he died.

He’s the one you should be asking.

That’s the road they took the day it happened.

When I got to the village, he showed up late,

with three knife cuts on his legs.

Because he said a snake, a snake bit him.

If we had the big boat we would of taken that,

and we could have saved his life.

But it was on the main island.

We have to go.

We will come back here again.

I will guide you guys out the right way.

We needed to know the reason why we came back and what is here for us.

Thank you.

If you take care of this place, we will never lose it.

This use to be your grandfather’s place and he worked for his future.

He worked for his future.

Now it’s your turn.

Thank you for coming all the way here.

I know.

I know our family, are native,

of the Bijigos Islands.

I would like to ask you.

What was it like growing up here?

Auntie.

Yes all of us were born in Orango.

Also I would like to ask about.

The importance of our bloodline?

Blood of our grandparents and the blood of your father.

It seems like everyone was very,

was very fond of him.

Everyone said he was a selfless.

He liked to give people love

and give people,

value.

How was he to you?

He was everything.

If my father wasn’t home.

I would wait to eat until were together.

For example during the rice harvest.

I use to collect the rice,

and I use to prepare the cashew pan.

To roast and peel the cashew.

I would sit and wait for him.

when he would travel

and return.

We would look forward to him,

bringing us cookies and sweets.

He would always bring something.

We had it all.

When I was a little girl

When was I was young.

I always had good memories.

I didn’t notice,

if anything was missing

because I felt like I had everything.

I had everything I wanted.

You know my father.

Was a man to be admired in every sense.

It was something I felt proud of,

every time I return to the island.

They say, “there she comes”.

“She walks like her father”.

I feel very proud about that.

They use to joke why I wasn’t born a boy

because I didn’t behave like a girl.

I would do everything my father used to do.

I just want to say.

Thank you for bringing us there yesterday.

I believe this is our future to know,

as grand children,

for our children.

To know our past.

Many pregnant women when they couldn’t deliver.

My father use to take them to Bubaque and to Bissau to deliver their babies.

That’s a huge responsibility.

It was something to aspire to be.

With that being said,

his spirit is still here.

Perhaps he could of done even more

but the dead interrupted his dreams.

If we can keep moving forward with his dreams,

we can keep his spirt alive.

It will be good for us.

Do you remember the words he used to say?

You were seven at the time, which was really young.

Maybe

Can you still remember the wisdom and advice he gave to the family?

That is still a part of you and present today?

He always would show us love, so we didn’t have to worry about anything.

They use to.

They use to tell stories.

I was always very close to my father,

as soon as he would arrive I would sit on his lap.

Another beautiful memory was,

when it was sunset

he would lay in the hammock.

We would sit on the floor and listen to his stories.

I remember so many beautiful stories he told us.

The people were dancing and the birds would fly away.

A great myth and story about our family and our people.

Do you remember when my mother fell in love with my father?

I’m sorry for asking this. I want to know something,

but I know in our family we protect each other.

Brothers and sisters protect each other always.

I also asked my uncle.

How was she when she was dating my father?

What was he like?

In the beginning, if we told you we don’t agree with this relationship.

You would still do what you feel right?

So.

It wasn’t long after your father came back from his studies.

You know your father

is a sweet talker.

Powerful.

Right.

If he has a hold of you.

I don’t know but I think.

But

If he hadn’t been with her, you guys wouldn’t be born.

Then it wouldn’t be you.

I don’t know.

I didn’t know what would happen, I was young.

If I was older things might of been different,

because your father was mistreating her.

If I could tell her not to get involved with your father at that time.

I would.

Many people were telling her not to be with your father.

You told me stuff I didn’t know about my father.

Shortly after, I stayed with your mother.

Your grandmother was planning to move to Portugal.

So it it was just your mother and I that that lived together.

As soon as you were born your grandmother left.

You were the last one to stand by her side.

Since day one.

Since I was inside my mother’s belly.

Well

I have this deep love for all of you. Like all of you were my own.

For that reason,

I can’t leave without telling you.

Thank you for everything.

You know it’s something we don’t express enough in our culture.

I remember a lot of things.

I can still remember things since I was three years old.

I remember you were always there

and always with us.

You’re born and you grow up,

and we all go on our own journey.

You have to remember that everything that you go through will pass.

If you don’t know how to nurture the moment now, like your father at his age.

He should realize to amend his relationships,

with his kids and family. With the time he has left.

I have the blood of my father and the heart of my mother.

I have this fire and anger of my father,

but I love like my mother.

She made a lot of effort to send you to the West.

I don’t know what would have happened if all you didn’t leave.

Friendship and family is very important because when you’re old or sick,

you will need friends to help you move or stand up.

Money won’t help you.

You might be fine today but you don’t know about tomorrow.

The most important thing as humans.

Is to have respect. And to have love for each other.

The love we have for each other is the most important.

In the end nothing else matters.

I’m still fighting hard with the power I have left, but it is not for me.

It’s for others to have education

to have life.

When I finished my studies in Brazil, I could’ve stayed and worked.

I had a lot of work colleagues everywhere, that said.

You should stay and not go back.

Even when I go on holidays there, they tell me to stay

but I have a promise to God, my community, and my family here.

That is what is important even if you have it all.

Now it’s your turn.

That’s my wish.

Take care of us.