Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

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♪ Get your motor runnin'

♪ Head out on the highway

♪ Lookin' for adventure

♪ And whatever comes our way

When your kitty's left the city.

When your moose is on the loose.

When your cow has said ciao,

you need me.

My friends call me-

Wait, I don't have friends.

I call me "Hitpig."

♪ Born to be wild

You see, I was raised by

the legendary pet bounty hunter, Big Bertha,

and I was her super cool sidekick.

You know, like Batman and Robin, Ben and Jerry,

Aquaman and whoever the heck Aquaman's sidekick was.

Fish? No. Doesn't matter.

We caught cats, hamsters, snakes, all that for money.

You get the idea.

She taught me everything I needed to know

about the bounty biz.

How to dress.

I mean, yeah,

she got this at an American Girl store, but..

She trained me how to be half Dr. Doolittle,

half James Bond, half Mandalorian.

And yes, I know that's three halves.

She wasn't great at math.

And she taught me how to make an omelet

without breaking any eggs, which is impossible.

So I guess it was a metaphor, but it doesn't matter.

She was a good business woman.

- This business can be very rewarding.

Then one day a call came in, Tiny the Lizard,

a thousand bucks, which seemed high for a lizard.

- It's just an easy peasy, tiny lizard.

I'll be right back.

Here, Tiny, Tiny, Tiny.

Turns out Tiny wasn't so tiny.

Tiny was a crocodile.

Just like that, Bertha was gone.

♪ Start wearing purple, wearing purple ♪

♪ Start wearing purple for me now ♪

- All right, here we go!

Mr. Secretary wants us to run a test.

Wakey, winky, stinky tubes skunk.

- Call HR! My coworkers are trying to kill me!

- Gotcha! Right this way.

- Not this again, please!

- You know the drill.

Skedaddle down the tube to the plutonium room.

Do not touch the glowy thing!

Then you come back and we test your radiation levels.

Pieces of cake. Remember, do not touch the glowy thing!

- Do not touch the glowy thing?

Honey, that's my ticket outta here!

Go left!

I love that game.

I knew I shouldn't have traded shifts

with the hamster!

- Bullseye!

Do not touch the glowy thing!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

- Hey, I feel all tingly and now I'm glowing pink?

Ooh, new look. Who dis?

- Bad tube skunk!

- Uh, pole cat, not tube skunk!

Woo-hoo, freedom!

- Oh, hello. Oh, everything's fine, Mr. Secretary.

How's the radiation level?

Oh, fine.

What's up?

What's up? What's up?

Oh! It's big!

- Freedom!

Woo-hoo, hello world! Here I come.

I got a glowing bum, full of plutonium!

What?

Party's over, pole cat.

- Hey! Hot truffles, not me!

You need therapy!

Where's your humanity, pig?

Oink.

- Wow! Ex-squeeze me.

I'm not quite sure what happened there.

- Whoa. Some guys cut the cheese, but you, brother,

you destroy the cheese.

You cut the cheese, then you go find the cheese's family,

and then you cut them.

- Peter Parker gets radiation poisoning

and shoots webs out of his wrist.

Me, apparently I shoot nukes out of my-

- Hey, be careful with that thing.

- Look, your cousin Porky.

Adios, cocktail fake.

- Not so fast, Radiation Rump.

I had it on selfie mode.

- That's nasty.

- Consider yourself... hit.

Whoa. What was that?

That was terrible. Lemme try that again.

Consider yourself hit.

Boom! Nailed it!

The newest show in Vegas,

featuring Pickles the dancing elephant

will be out of this world,

so says the Leapin' Lord of the Leotard.

He has staged some of the worst animal acts ever.

He trained his three ton elephant Pickles

to leap into his arms, breaking every bone in his body.

After two years in the hospital, he trained Pickles

to leap into the arms of his poodle.

A far worse idea.

The Leapin' Lord squandered his family's reputation

and fortune, and they have disowned him.

Undeterred, the Leapin' Lord guarantees

no one will walk out of this show.

We saw hope Pickles will be okay.

It's showtime!

Dancers, take positions!

- And now, Pickle the Elephant!

Psst. That's your cue, Poodles.

- Where's the motivational coach?

Okay, enough with the dancing.

Cast your eyes to the heavens.

The one and only me!

People of the earth,

I present to you the otherworldly

Leapin' Lord of the Leotard!

Drum roll.

Here we go!

Whoa.

Oh, blast you, Pickles!

You have one job!

Why didn't you catch me?

Nevermind.

Wait until you see what I have planned for us

opening night!

I will reach for the stars and soar to heights

never before soared!

I'll fly. I'll glide.

I'll float and swoop and flit and whoosh.

And give gravity what it's given me, contempt.

- A billion dollar dynasty flushed down a crapper

by the Leapin' Lord of the Lunatics.

- Hey, six generations of animal acts

are not ending with me!

Okay, rehearsals over! Everyone out!

♪ I'm a real wild one, wild one ♪

♪ Wild one, wild one

♪ Well, I'm just out of school

♪ Like I'm real, real cool

♪ Gotta dance like a fool

♪ Got the message that I gotta be a wild one ♪

♪ Oh yeah, I'm a wild one

♪ Gonna break it loose

♪ Gonna keep being a wild one

♪ 'Cause baby, I'm a real wild child ♪

Escaped pet alert. Escaped pet alert.

Hey, Gordon Hamsy. Shall I keep saying escaped pet alert?

- Gordon Hamsy. I get it.

'Cause I'm a pig that cooks.

That's the best you got, huh?

Chef Boar RD.

Sty Fieri. Wolfgang Pig. - Hilarious.

Who says computers can't be funny? Not me.

Oh wait, yeah. No, it is me.

I say computers can't be funny.

Zoo surveillance

caught an animal rights activist freeing the koala.

- Leticia. Our paths cross again.

Catch van to the land down under.

We'll check the outback, the front back,

the inside out, and the upside down.

Activate propulsion boosters.

Activated.

- Weapons systems online.

Locked and loaded.

- And pump up the rock 'n roll.

- Greatness is so close I can smell it, Pickles.

The eyes of too many lords and ladies

are looking down on me!

They said I didn't fit in.

That I was an untalented, tubby failure.

That I'll never leap into anything

but an all you can eat buffet table.

And while I do love a complimentary Vegas buffet,

I mean, who doesn't?

I'll show them what I'm capable of!

Mummy and Daddy dazzled audiences,

riding lions through hoops of fire.

Grandmama was blasted from a howitzer cannon

over a swimming pool filled with hungry sharks.

My dearest uncle was a bullfighter.

And not with a red cape.

He fought them with his fists.

You see, to have the next great animal act is my destiny!

Ugh, elephant snot.

I lock you up because I love you so much.

I mean, I don't know what I'd do

if anything ever happened to you, Pickley-poo.

Who would catch me then?

Oh, get real, Alligator Arms.

I know you're a crocodile.

It's just a figure of speech.

Now eat your lunch.

Open it yourself.

I gave her your dog food.

You buggies missed your cue on stage,

and I know you're laughing at me behind my back.

I just can't prove it yet. No food for you!

- Hey, don't worry, guys. I'm gonna get us out of here.

You'll be free soon and I..

I can find my family.

Door ajar.

Door ajar.

Door closed.

Hooray. You did it.

- Don't you have a stealth mode or a shut up mode or something?

Croc? Ugh.

No guns, no nuns, no lil' ones.

Any other nuns here?

- Hey, keep an eye on that, would you, Sister?

All right, koala. Where are you?

Here, koala, koala, koala.

Bingo, Dingo.

- Thought I smelled bacon. - Let's go, koala.

- Not going back there, Hitpig.

- You escaped. - I had to escape!

Do you know who comes to petting zoos?

- Kids? - Yeah, kids.

Filthy, slimy, sticky, smelly kids.

They wipe their snotty noses,

then pet me with those same tiny hands.

They're disgusting!

- Ah, you got a little something stuck to the back of your head.

Whoa.

That's gonna leave a bald spot.

- For the love of goon bag.

- Cute little Sheila.

- If you pet the fur, I'll drop kick you to-

Whoop whoop!

Oh, boy.

- I never asked for this adorable face, Hitpig!

I don't wanna be cute. I'm not cute.

Hey!

- Don't take me back!

- Hey, I got a job to do. - Get another job.

- Look, this is the only job I know how to do.

- Animals are meant to be free.

- Get a taste of my world famous pork chop.

Hiya! Ow!

Your, uh, shoe's untied.

That's right.

Go way, way, way, all the way home.

Ah, son of a beach nut.

- Thank you, Sister. You are one bad habit.

I know. Forgive me.

- Thanks, mate. $10,000 in dues.

- I hope someone turns you into a ham steak one day, Hitpig.

Put a little ring of pineapple on you

and stab you with a fork! - Thanks, mate.

- This is no life for you all.

I wish I could free you.

"Famous Panda walks off popular kung fu set,

says eight films is enough."

Oh man, I liked those films.

"Animal Rights activist, Leticia Dos Anjos

frees tigers for Las Vegas show."

Oh man, I liked that show too.

I don't get it.

Wait a minute.

You want me to call that critter liver,

Leticia, to free you.

Brilliant!

By golly, I've never done anything important in my life.

That changes today!

- We're almost free.

I can feel it.

Hey, you're looking good.

A super cock-doodle-doo!

Super Rooster!

- Super cock-doodle-doo! Oh, man.

Now that is a catchphrase.

Ah, you know what? Maybe I could try something like that.

You know, like a super oinkety-boinkety-boink!

Ah, who asked you, Henry?

- Welcome to "King Chef For A Day,"

the show where our contestants have five minutes

to make a delicious meal from the ingredients we provide.

- Yeah, boy! Oh, another great catch phrase.

You know, I could win that.

When pigs fly.

- Oh, come on. A pig can dream, can't he?

Incoming call. Incoming call.

- Oh, will you leave me alone, Morticia?

- It's Leticia.

And are you proud of yourself

for messing up all those poor animals' lives?

Locking them away like they were criminals?

- Yeah, 'cause they escaped!

- They should never have been captured at all.

- Hey, it's just business.

You set 'em free, I bring 'em home.

- You're such a pig. And that's all the time I needed.

- Needed for what?

- Gain access to your bank account and take

three, two, one, all your money, sucker.

- What?

No, no! No, no, no, no, no, no!

Thank you for your donation.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

- It's dirty money and it needs to be used for good.

- I'm good, I'm super good. I'm so good.

- I'm off to free an elephant. Thanks for the money.

Ciao.

Come on!

Hey.

Did someone call for a rescue?

Not sure I can locate your family,

but I can get you home to India.

- Anywhere is better than here.

- Don't worry, poodles. I'll be back for you guys soon.

Woo-hoo, I'm free! I'm going home!

Suppertime!

But not for you.

What the elephant?

Someone pilfered Pickles!

Who steals elephants?

I mean, besides me.

- Hitpig. Lost your dog? You called the right hog.

How can I help you?

- Aha, bounty hunter.

I hear you're the best.

At least that's what it says in your ad.

- Who are you? - Oh, I don't know.

Maybe I'm only the Leapin' Lord of the Leotard!

- And I'm Baron of the Boxer Shorts.

What'd you lose? - My dance partner!

Somebody stole her!

- Wrong number, pal.

Sounds like you need a dating app.

She's an elephant.

- Leticia. - No, Pickles.

I'm launching my show in Vegas this weekend.

A guaranteed blast.

I'll be leaping, I'm the Leapin' Lord after all,

but you knew that.

Pickles is the only one who can catch me.

I have to be caught!

So catch her!

- Hey, don't worry, I'll catch her,

but you know, I charge by the pound,

so I'm gonna need you to make me an offer I can't refuse.

- One million bucks.

- Whoa, that's about a hundred times

more than I was thinking, so yes.

- So we have a deal, Hitpig.

Bring her back to me.

- Woo! Looks like this little piggy is back in business.

- Who's got egg on their face now?

Cock-a-doodley-doo!

Super Rooster!

That's something you don't see every day.

We'll be landing in London momentarily,

on our way to India.

Unfortunately, we have to stop our in-flight entertainment.

I know, I love "Super Rooster" too.

Downloading all

train, plane, and truck manifests.

- All right, where are you big girl?

Cargo, one dog, 62 cats. Poor dog.

- No, no, no.

Okay, train.

A baboon, two rabbits.

Check that, two rabbits now with 27 bunnies.

- No. Vegas to India, layover in London.

Cargo four dogs,

two cats, and one elephant.

- Ah, there you are!

My pachyderm payday.

Target acquired.

Off to jolly old England.

- Ooh, some sort of elephant party going on there.

Be right back! I'm gonna scope this out.

After party with my peeps.

Wow, wide load coming through.

I'll be there in a minute.

Sorry about that.

- We're so fired.

Excuse me.

Excuse me!

Nice.

Ooh, that's nice.

Loving the new elephant fashions, so exciting!

Pickles, you deserve a new look.

Elephant pheromones detected.

Warning, warning. No parking zone.

Have I ever gotten you towed?

Wow.

I'm gonna blame that on poor craftsmanship.

- Aha, Pickle prints.

Free?

Memory is yours.

Your better recollection is pure perfection,

'cause an elephant never, 'cause an elephant never...

Line! - Forgets!

- Oh, yeah.

- Pickles, you devilish smoke show.

- Like shooting fish in a barrel.

Really fat fish.

- As queen of the elephants, it is I who wears the pants.

So as your queen, I command you all to dance!

- No, wait!

- Did someone say dance?

- Stop that elephant!

Hey, hey, Pickles!

♪ I know you can't control yourself any longer ♪

- This is exactly what I was not expecting,

but I've always wanted to dance with other elephants!

♪ Come on, shake your body, baby do that funk ♪

♪ I know you can't control yourself any longer ♪

♪ Feel the rhythm of the music getting stronger ♪

- Consider yourself hit.

Ah, dang it.

- Come here, you weird looking elephant.

I just wanna hug you and never stop.

Oh, going up.

That tickles.

No, no, no, no!

- Yes!

- Wow. There's so much.

There's so much world, and my family is out there.

- Well, well, well.

- No more cages for me.

Ever!

Are you...

Are you...

Ouch!

- Are you a little elephant?

- Elephant? No, I'm a pig.

A pig-my elephant.

Yeah, no, you're right. Yeah, no, a pigmy elephant, yes.

Hey, we're twinsies.

I feel like I'm looking in a mirror.

- Whoa. We're a perfect fit.

I know, it's like we're made for each other.

What happened to your nose?

- Well, you know, I was at the back of the line

when they were passing out trunks.

I'm a little sensitive about it.

- Ugh, you're right. That was rude.

Let's start over.

I'm Pickles. - I'm Hitpig.

Which is short for Hit Pigmy Elephant.

I've been looking for you everywhere.

You know, you missed your flight!

- Oh, are you friends with Leticia?

Leticia? I mean, yes.

Yes, Leticia and I are great friends, actually.

Yeah, no, she had to go do a, you know,

rescue a porpoise or something, I don't know.

She asked me to help, so.

- Leticia was taking me to India.

India?

- Hey, we're sliding, Hitpig.

- No kidding! Give me my catch gun.

I love slides.

Hold on.

- They towed my van! Ah, come on!

Think I just cracked a baby back rib.

- Whoa.

That was fun. Let's do it again.

- And now my gun is broken?

What else could go wrong? Oh!

How do you sneak onto a plane with an elephant?

- Why are we dressed like this?

- Subterfuge.

- Oh. I don't know French.

- What do you mean check the last and found?

It's a two ton elephant.

- All right, try not to call attention to yourself.

- Excuse me!

- Emotional support, you know, dog.

I am a work in progress.

It's a very fancy hairdryer. It's from Europe.

- Of course it is, ma'am.

Lip balm.

- Leapin' Lord here.

- Hey, your package is shipping overnight air to Las Vegas.

- Goodie.

This show is going to rocket me to stardom, Hitpig.

Her understudy, well, let's just say

it's a little like putting lipstick on a pig.

So don't let me down.

Sorry, cutie.

Help! Save me, Super Rooster!

Look up in the sky!

It's Super rooster.

- Super cock-a-doodley-doo!

- Ah, how this guy never won an Oscar is beyond me.

You know, politics.

- Hey, would you mind letting me scooch by?

I've gotta tinkle.

Excuse me.

Pardon me.

By the way, could you ask the stewardess

for a couple dozen more bags of those peanuts?

They roasted them in honey! I mean, what?

Yikes. That little toilet is not designed for what I have to do,

but girls gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Ow!

Right in the ham hocks.

Tranquilizer dart? Leticia.

- That dress really brings out the rump in your roast.

- Hey, who does your makeup? Cirque du Soleil?

- Listen, Hitpig.

I should be taken seriously.

- For what?

- Stealing back stolen mooses and hippopotamuses.

- And rhinoceros.

- Plus elephants! - Elephant? Never!

- Oh.

Okay, so here's the big girl bathroom.

- No!

- Okay, okay.

This is not what I thought would be behind that door.

Grab my tail!

- Pickles! I'll pull you in!

Her tights are coming off!

You've gotta let the pig go!

- Why would I let your friend go?

- He's not my friend!

I can be!

No!

Eat your heart out, Dumbo!

- No, he can actually fly!

We're toast. We're toast.

- You'll think of something.

- You're right. I'm thinking you're about to see

how the sausages are made.

Ow, ow, ow. Ow!

- Hey, I knew you'd think of something.

It's called flying by the seat of your pants.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please excuse the flight turbulence.

Jackpot.

Ugh.

- Oh, well, that worked out nicely.

Yay! There's more.

Ow.

Now I know what Spam feels like.

So really, that emergency exit looked like a toilet?

We could have been killed!

- To be fair, it was an emergency.

- How were you so sure that I would think of something?

- Because I trust you.

- Yeah, all right, well, you shouldn't.

- But we're friends now.

- What? No, I don't have friends.

Not since Bertha.

- Who's Bertha?

- Doesn't matter.

We're hosed, okay?

I'm way off course. - To India?

- Yeah, to bringing you home, yeah.

But we need wheels. All I see is junk.

- You have to free your mind!

It's all caged up. And trust me, I know cages.

Hey, what about this?

Catch!

- Will you stop throwing junk at me?

- Hi, little friend.

Oh!

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Hey!

♪ You're a real tough cookie with a long history ♪

♪ For breaking little hearts like the one in me ♪

♪ That's okay, let's see how you do it ♪

♪ Put up your dukes, let's get down to it ♪

♪ Hit me with your best shot

♪ Come on, hit me with your best shot ♪

♪ Hit me with your best shot

♪ Why don't you hit me with your best shot ♪

♪ Hit me with your best shot

♪ Fire away

- Bye, little friend!

- Catch you later, Fuzzball.

All right, sit down and buckle up.

We got a long way to go.

Oh!

- Do you know any show tunes?

- Do I look like I know show tunes?

♪ Clang, clang, clang went the trolley ♪

♪ Ding, ding

Whoopsie. Oh, a button.

See you later.

Oh, you're back!

Oopsie.

Sorry about that.

Look, another button. Woo!

So many buttons and levers.

So fun!

Isn't today like a dream come true?

- Look, I don't have time for silly questions.

- Come on. You must have a dream.

- Fine, sure. To have a million dollars.

- And what would you do with it?

- I don't know. Retire.

- And then?

- I don't know. I'd cook.

- Okay. You dream of being a chef.

- Me, a chef? - It's pretty dumb, right?

- No!

No?

Look, an elephant!

Pickles, stop!

There are no words for how I feel right now.

- Just trying to get a closer look!

- Pickles! - Get back in the UFO!

- Coming down.

Whoa!

An octopus and a chicken!

There are no words for how I feel right now.

- Pickles! Do not push or pull anything!

- Push and pull everything, you said? Okay.

- No! I'll get ya!

♪ Now baby I'm sure ♪

- I can't believe they had a pigmy elephant balloon.

Stay there!

♪ I just can't wait 'til the day ♪

Croc!

- Ooh, that's fun. I wanna try!

Okay, okay. I'm gonna get you! Whee!

Whee!

Just the most fun ever!

♪ I'm walking on sunshine

- No! No, no, no, no, no!

- Gotcha! - Ow.

- I like your style.

You know, you don't show it, but you know how to have fun.

- This is a disaster.

- If this is a disaster, disasters are wonderful!

What's wrong? - Nothing.

Everything.

- Anything to do with Leticia saying she's not your friend?

- Yeah, a little to do with that, yeah.

- I figured.

Well, you're both very nice to fight over

who gets to take me back to India.

You know, it makes me feel kind of special.

- Yeah.

Well. - I wonder what it'll be like.

- What? - Family.

I left when I was a baby.

- Me, too.

I haven't seen my family in years.

- Same here.

- The Leapin' Lord wanted a cute little elephant

for his show, and he found me.

My parents tried to stop him, but they..

I've been locked in a cage ever since.

Until you guys rescued me.

And now, wow.

Now I've never felt more free.

All thanks to you.

Is that Orion's butt?

Oh, I think you mean belt.

- Pretty sure it's his butt.

India has a Golden Gate Bridge?

- Wait, what?

- Ah!

We overshot home a smidge.

Going down!

Oh, no, no, no, no!

Ow, ouch!

Ow!

My hand!

- Whoa. That was our next contestant.

- Help me.

- You're wounded. Medic!

I guess you'll have to do.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I couldn't.

No, I'm in a hurry and I need to-

- Get dressed. We're about to go live.

- Live? Wait, wait, hold on, what is this?

- Is this a show? - Stay in!

"King Chef For A Day?" How about that?

- This is it! - This is your chance!

- What? - Come here!

- We need to get going.

- Pump the brakes! This is your dream come true.

- Don't be silly. - I'm not silly.

Dreams are what give us hope.

You dream to cook, so cook.

- But I mean, I hurt my hand

when that 15 ton beam fell on it, okay?

I can't! - But we can.

- Why are you helping me?

- That's what friends are for!

I'm helping you, just like

you're helping me find my family.

- Oh, boy. Look, Pickles, I-

- Welcome to "King Chef For A Day!"

The show where our contestants have five minutes

to make a delicious meal from the ingredients we provide.

The only rule is... - Use every ingredient!

- And tonight's contestant literally just dropped in.

Give it up for Hitpig!

Yeah, boy.

- They're waiting for you!

Hitpig! Hitpig!

Higher.

Higher! Higher!

- Hitpig! Yeah, boy.

- Hitpig?

Where's my stolen elephant?

He doesn't have time to cook on TV!

He needs to bring my Pickles back to me!

- Hey, watch the trunk!

- Hey!

Looks like it's omelet time!

- Showtime, Hitpig! We got this.

- Go!

- Hand me the eggs.

Oh!

Whoopsie!

Egg on your face.

- Follow my rhythm! Whisk, stir, whisk.

Chop, slice, dice.

There we go.

- And now, today's mystery ingredient.

Oh, hi.

How's things?

- You can't cook him! - All right, put him in the pot.

- He's got eyeballs! No!

He's one of us!

Don't hurt him!

- No, no, no, no!

- What?

- You can't boil him!

He has feelings!

- And a name! Louie!

I don't wanna die!

- You save animals! That's your thing, right?

- Well, I..

Ow!

- Free Louie!

- Get that? Free Louie. Free Louie!

- Oh, come on. Throw the lobster in!

- Make love, not lobster!

♪ Rock lobster

- Stop! ♪ Rock lobster

Oh, no, look out!

- May I, Louie?

- They grow back, huh? Don't they?

Don't they?

- Every ingredient!

Taste it! Taste it!

- This is a dream come true.

Thank you.

- Well, so is you rescuing me.

Thank you.

- Pickles, no, I mean, there's...

There's no reason to thank me. You know, for real.

There is no reason to thank me.

Weapon systems online.

Ow. What is going on?

Target obliterated.

- Whoops!

Autopilot to catch gun

coordinates engaged.

Ooh.

- Yes!

So you're in San Francisco? I'm coming, Pickles.

- Hey.

- Hello?

- Listen, Porky McPorkFace.

You overshot the handoff by 400 miles.

It seems you've lost your way.

- No, I'm finding it actually.

- Well, I'm coming for my dance partner.

She and I will soar to heights never before seen.

Don't move.

All right, move.

Move, move, move, move, move. - Where are we going?

- Anywhere but here. - Well, how about India?

- Yeah, okay, look, we need to talk about that.

I, I need to come clean about something.

- Clean? I get it.

- What, you do?

- Oh, always happens after several months, yep.

I need a bucket.

- Wait, what?

- You need one of those.

- A bathtub? Ooh, nice!

- I'm not really who you, well, who you think I am.

I mean, being Hitpig isn't necessarily a good thing.

You know, it's actually impressive

how much trouble she can cause in less than two seconds.

- Yeah.

Warm water

feels pretty good.

- Oh, sure, sure. That's how it always starts!

Then comes screaming, and then the lemon butter,

and then them nut cracker things!

I don't even have nuts!

- Hey, Pickles, we gotta go!

People that come home to an elephant in their tub

tend to get a little upset!

I'm coming!

- Well, would you hurry before someone finds us?

- Ooh, that tickles.

- Oh, okay, what am I gonna do? What are we gonna do?

What am we gonna do? Okay, let's think here.

All right, this couch is comfy.

Didn't sleep too well on the old balloon last night.

You know, I just, one minute to think what to do.

And, you know, maybe if I close my eyes,

it'll all come to me.

The answers will just come right to me.

Bertha?

What?

How have you been?

- Dead, kid. I've been dead.

- Yeah, no, I've been better too.

- Oh, no. What's wrong, little buddy?

- Well, for one thing, someone stole all my money.

- Here, try this.

And the van got towed.

- You lost your money, your van.

- And my catch gun.

- Well, at least you haven't lost your way.

- Well, I mean, you know, that's the thing.

I'm supposed to take this elephant back to her owner.

You know, she's worth a million bucks.

- Wow. Prices have really gone up.

- Yeah, yeah.

Anyways, she doesn't want to go back.

Frankly, I don't blame her.

But the reward is just so big, I..

- We never did this for the reward.

- But you said our business was very rewarding.

- Oh, little buddy. Because of all the animals we helped.

- But the last one ate you.

- Yeah, you win some, you lose some.

Hey, little buddy.

A long time ago I got the call to return

an escaped piglet to a bacon farm.

He was so scared and so cute.

I knew I couldn't return him, so I didn't.

And over time, we became best friends.

You, Hitpig. You were my greatest reward.

Now time to eat.

- Lucky for me, it's only a dream.

Wakey-wakey. - Ow!

- We're in a lake-y.

- Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no.

What happened?

- Sprung a leaky.

- Pickles! Pickles, what did you do?

- Got a bathtub stuck to my butt.

Did you have a nice nap?

- Okay, we gotta go up. All right, just swim.

I thought elephants could swim.

- Not if they don't have a mom to teach them.

- Okay, can you reach it?

- No. But I think you can.

- What are you doing? No! Come on!

Pickles.

We can do it! You're so close.

No, no, no, no, no! Pickles.

Pickles!

Pickles!

Pickles! No! No, no, no, no, no, no. No.

Pickles, wake up!

- Hello, Pickles. Ready to go home?

Come on now. Up, up.

Oh, and you, Hitpig. You had me worried there for a moment.

I suppose I should deduct some money for the delay

and change of drop off location.

But I want to support your business,

returning escaped animals to their owners.

- What? No, no, no, no, no.

He's not returning me to you. He's my friend!

You're my friend, right?

- Yes. Yes, no, now I am.

I mean now I want to be.

I wasn't bringing you home to India.

I was bringing you to, well, to him.

- Let's go, Pickles.

Our show launches in less than four hours.

- Deals off, Leapin' Lord.

Take your money back.

Her home is in India, not in Vegas.

And certainly not with you.

- I'm not going with either of you.

- You'll get in your cage right now.

Stop!

- Get your hands off her!

- Fluffy, a little help, please.

- Oh.

Fluffy's a croc!

- Well, that was easy.

Fluffy, teach pickles a lesson.

Don't ever run away again!

Come on, Fluffy.

- Ow!

That's enough! - I think not.

- That last slap felt good.

- You did all that for a salad?

This lettuce don't even taste good!

- Okay, look, you were right, I was wrong.

- Where's Pickles? - The Leaping Lord took her.

- He abuses her!

- I know. And I need to save her.

- Really? Looks like you handed her over and got paid.

- It's not like that, okay?

I tried to stop him, but-

Give me my van.

- We're going with you. - Who's we?

- Say hello to my little friends.

- Surprise, swine!

- Hitpig.

- Couldn't help it. Had to free them, too.

- Brazilian chicks rock!

- I'm gonna drop kick your ham hocks, bounty hunter.

- You know what? I probably deserved that.

- Take that! Hiya!

- Ow. Okay, are you done?

Got it outta your system now?

No, no, no, no. Not that. Not, no.

That, I don't deserve.

When I said get it out of your system, I didn't mean that.

- That's not even just, he tried to boil me alive.

- Ow!

- By the way, my favorite food is bacon.

- Are we even yet?

- Not even close.

But we feel a lot better.

- Shall we go get Pickles?

- Yeah. Let's go rescue an elephant.

- Let's roll.

- You better not mean lobster roll, sister.

- I like this sassy crustacean.

- Move over. - I'm driving.

You got a plan, pork chop?

- That depends. How do you define plan?

♪ Pop, pop, pop music

♪ Pop, pop, pop music

♪ Get down

♪ Pop, pop, pop music

♪ Pop, pop, pop music

- Look at that crowd, Fluffy!

Clamoring to see me!

Yes, I know I'm paying them a hundred bucks each,

plus a glow stick, but a crowd's a crowd.

Fluffy, the show is about to start

and you forgot to comb your eyebrows, again.

Oh, nevermind. Tonight we soar!

- All right. And that is why Taylor Swift

would be a great president.

Now anybody got any ideas how to save Pickles?

I'm just joking, no. Using a combination

of intelligence, counterintelligence,

and counter counterintelligence,

we will have acquired our target.

Oh whoa, and to make matters worse,

there's a crocodile and he's gonna try and eat all of us.

He might even get one of us.

- Crocodiles? I thought little pigs

and was scared of big bad wolves.

- Okay, first off, I'm not a little pig.

I'm a perfectly average sized pig.

Secondly, the three little pigs were not

scared of the big bad wolf, okay?

Remember the tune? That was their whole thing.

They didn't even know who's afraid of the big bad wolf.

- Well, it just seems like a lot of work to nab a pickle.

- Not a pickle.

Pickles the elephant.

- Oh, we going to need a better team.

No offense, losers.

- I already called for backup. - Who?

- Take a look up in the sky.

- Is that a bird?

- Is that a cat?

- Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.

It's Super Rooster!

- Super cock-a-doodley-doo!

A super cock-a-doodley-doo to you.

And you and you.

Super Rooster!

- Well, you know, I'm not really a hero.

I just play one in cartoons.

But the producers have permanently sewn

the suit to my body, so I get to fly around whenever I want.

- Thank you for coming.

And look, I gotta just get this outta the way.

I'm your biggest fan. You know, "Nuggets of Glory."

Oh, for me, honestly, your best work.

- No need to thank me.

I gotta say, if this is really about saving an elephant,

eh, I'm in.

Plus, you know, you said something about a million bucks.

- You're giving him all your money?

- Well, not all of it, no. Louie ate a bunch of it.

I think he thinks it's salad.

- I've never been more regular.

- I'll take almost any amount at this point.

You know, my third wife ran off with a penguin.

You know, he's a sharp dresser, I must say,

but the whole split has cost me a bundle!

Anyways, should we get the autographs outta the way, huh?

- Thanks, mate.

- Can I touch your wattle?

- All right guys, come on. Focus on the plan.

But could you sign one more? It's to my nephew.

- Yeah, what's his name?

- My, his name, yeah. Hitpig.

- All right. What's the plan?

- We're winging it. Let's go!

- Time to kick butt!

- We're outta here!

- Let's cock-a-doodley-doo!

- Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to have your minds blown.

Blown like they have never been blown before.

And now let the mind blowing begin!

Hello, dance fans!

The Leapin' Lord welcomes you.

It's the moment I've been waiting for.

- We're coming for you, Pickles!

- Is this part of the plan?

- Why would a theater have steel doors?

- Well, mission not accomplished.

- Countdown?

Our show launches

in less than four hours.

Soar to heights never before soared.

A guaranteed blast.

It's going to rocket me to stardom.

Oh, no.

- Fasten your seatbelts!

This show is going to be out of this world!

Ten!

Nine!

Eight!

Seven!

Six!

- This isn't a theater, it's a rocket.

- Say what?

- He's totally nuts! Run!

- Five, four, three, two, one.

Blast off!

- They're all gonna die!

- Not on my watch.

- And how do we stop a rocket?

Rocket systems engage.

- Why did I have to ask?

You might wanna hold on.

This is great.

- I need more power! - On it!

This is why I get paid the big bucks, baby.

Cock-a-doodley-doo!

- I'll soar! I'll fly!

I'll glide.

I'll float and swoop and flit and whoosh.

I'll give gravity what it's given me!

Contempt.

Warning, critical power loss.

- We're losing them!

- The catch van's boosters failed.

- Okay, okay!

Step aside, people. It's my time to shine.

A tube, please.

Now hand me that chimichanga.

Fire in the hole!

- Oh, goody!

It's starting!

♪ From the floors of Tokyo

- Back off, Fluffy.

This is my special moment.

The Leapin' Lord of the Leotard

and Pickles the Dancing Elephant

will be the greatest show off Earth!

♪ I'm dancing with myself

- Hit the gas! - 10-4, good buddy.

♪ Dancing with myself

♪ Well, there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove ♪

♪ When I'm dancing with myself

It's showtime!

♪ All over the world

♪ And there's every type of girl ♪

♪ But your empty eyes seem to pass me by ♪

Oh, Pickles!

♪ It'll give me time to think

♪ If I had the chance, I'd ask the world to dance ♪

♪ Oh, oh

- Almost there. - Just gimme a little squeak.

- Are you ready for my destiny, Pickles?

I'm leaping!

- He came back for me.

Catch me!

Get back here, Pickles!

Hitpig!

Now what?

My sensors detect

their oxygen levels dropping

and I don't see a way for them to return

to Earth on their own.

- Can we push 'em back?

Not without smashing into Earth.

- We need a parachute. Grab whatever fabric you can find.

Curtains, costumes, even underwear.

- That ain't new territory from me.

- Oh, how exciting.

- Feel like pulled pork for dinner, Fluffy?

Then go get that pig.

- We need to divide and conquer. Can you fly around the outside,

see how we might be able to pull these people back?

- Can do!

Ah-ah-ah-ah.

- I'll keep control of the catch van.

- Okay guys, let's save Pickles

and everyone in that theater!

- Aye aye, Captain!

- Roger, roger. - Over and out.

Really?

Hitpig!

- Go help Pickles, now!

I've fought bigger lizards than you in the Outback.

Come at me!

- You came back.

- I'm so sorry, Pickles.

I should have told you the truth.

Can you forgive me?

- What are friends for?

- You're ruining everything, Hitpig!

- I'm ruining everything?

You're going to get us all killed!

I'm actually trying to unruin everything.

- I'm giving them the greatest show off Earth!

Yeah, but you don't have

a way to bring 'em back to Earth!

- Well, I can't think of everything!

Do you know how hard it was just to do all this?

Ding ding!

In the left ring we have the croc versus a koala.

Common sense says koala's gonna die!

- Do you think this is scripted or all improv?

- In the right ring, we have a pig versus a lunatic!

- Now even the lack of gravity mocks me.

Come at me, you toothy turd!

Watch out, Hitpig!

- This is for Bertha!

Consider yourself hit.

Oh, no.

- I never cut corners on costumes.

The audience is applauding my exit, Fluffy.

I can still hear them.

- Whoa!

- Pickles!

- Right!

- Like we're made for each other.

- A perfect fit.

- A super cock-a-doodley-doo!

I'm coming for you!

- Hi, Hitpig.

- How you doing, pig?

And I thought you just

played a superhero on TV.

- You really are one.

- Aw, shucks.

- You're alive! - Oh, thank goodness!

What do you say we get everybody back to Earth now?

- I need more horsepower!

- I need more chimichangas!

Approaching Earth's atmosphere.

We're coming in too fast.

- Panties, jock straps, boxers, just send them on over!

Come on!

This is going to hurt.

Warning, impact imminent. Well, it was nice knowing you.

- Deploy the parachute.

Whoa.

Can I get my thong back?

- Well, I guess it's time to all go home, huh?

- I'm heading to Australia if you wanna ride with me, koala.

- Yeah, great. I'll show you my digs.

Throw some eucalyptus on the Barbie.

- I'm going to introduce polecat to some Hollywood agents.

He's a star if I've ever seen one.

- Thank you.

- Oh, I'm staying here. We're in Vegas, baby!

And I got me a date!

Well, everyone loves my hard body.

- You sure you want these poodles?

If they want me.

- Pickles, may I take you home to India?

- Yes. Yes, you may.

- Frittata!

- Omelet coming up!

Of course.

- Oh, we got a wise guy here.

Hey, look kid, no bacon ever. Capiche?

- Ciao, Hitpig.

- Surprise!

So, how you doing?

Living the dream.

How was India?

- Beautiful. But I couldn't find a family there

quite like our friends.

- Yeah. Yeah, I guess friends are the family we choose.

- So what's it like living the omelet dream?

Is it all it's cracked up to be?

- Yeah, you know, it pays the bills

for an even bigger dream.

- Really? - Yeah.

- See, on weekends we do some volunteer work.

We?

How was Indiana?

- Hey, everyone, hi!

You got room for one more on that thing?

- You bet we do.

Lower the tub!

- I love a family outing.

♪ Born to be wild

- So if you're a kitty who's left the city

or a moose on the loose

or a cow that said ciao, call us.

Your happiness is our reward.

♪ Born to be wild

- Ooh, I'm feeling a little bit toasty here.

How about you, Fluffy?

Son of a sun!

And scene.

♪ Born to be wild

♪ Born to be wild

♪ Get your motor running

♪ Head out on the highway

♪ Looking for adventure

♪ And whatever comes our way

♪ Yeah, gotta go and make it happen ♪

♪ Take the world in a love embrace ♪

♪ Fire all your guns at once and ♪

♪ Explode into space

♪ I like smoke and lightning

♪ Heavy metal thunder

♪ Racing with the wind

♪ And the feeling that I'm under ♪

♪ Yeah, darling, gonna make it happen ♪

♪ Take the world in a love embrace ♪

♪ Fire all of your guns at once and ♪

♪ Explode into space

♪ Like a true nature's child

♪ We were born, born to be wild ♪

♪ We can climb so high ♪

♪ And never wanna die

♪ Born to be wild

♪ Born to be wild

♪ Get your motor running

♪ Head out on the highway

♪ Looking for adventure

♪ And whatever comes our way

♪ Yeah, darling, gonna make it happen ♪

♪ Take the world in a love embrace ♪

♪ Fire all your guns at once and ♪

♪ Explode into space

♪ Born to be wild

♪ Born to be wild

♪ Born to be wild

♪ Born to be wild

As queen of the elephants, it is I

who wears the pants, so as your queen,

I command you all to dance.