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My life was just... it was just all about goals.

When you score a goal and you're celebrating...

What a goal!

Three now by Jermain Defoe!

...you feel immortal.

Defoe! That's what he does!

And you crave it.

And Defoe scores again!

I wanted it every single game.

And I just wanted to do whatever it took to get that feeling.

I didn't want to just be a good scorer.

I wanted to master it.

I want to see my face on the back of the paper.

I wanted to be the one to get the love from the fans.

I want it to be me.

Always wanted to show people how good I was.

Why?

I don't know.

But I think for me it was always more than just football.

Yeah, so I've got the keys yesterday. Here we are.

Canning Town to the countryside.

Don't worry about all this stuff.

This is my guy that does all my TVs.

When I announced retirement, it's the hardest thing I've had to do.

- You know the TV units? - Yes.

When you've been playing for, like, 20 odd years, it's a culture shock.

You've got speakers. We can utilize these.

Now, obviously, I can sit back and enjoy life.

- No problem. - Yeah.

'Cause I've got guys coming in, they starting painting tomorrow.

The amount of times I moved houses, like...

And even when you go into different clubs

and even, like, just renting houses and, like, the amount of times.

But it's nicer because this is home.

They said, 'What you want in the house? Give us like a wish list.'

So I was like, okay, then.

So I want, I don't know, a little cinema.

Right, let me-- I want the lights on. This is the bar.

I want a games room.

Can you play snooker?

Probably get a few pictures on the wall here.

Not fussed on swimming pools. Can't swim.

- So... - So what's through there?

There's a pool.

This is going to be my dining room.

And the reason I like this house, 'cause it's quite like...

Even with nothing in it, it's not done up yet,

but it's still, yeah, spacious, but it still feels cosy.

And I've obviously got a few ideas.

I sound like an interior designer.

I might get a job!

Oh, my God, look at this.

England tracksuits.

My God, there's so much stuff.

What is this?

Oh, look at this.

Nine-one Wigan.

White Hart Lane, five goals, this boot...

Defoe's in here, can he finish it again?

Oh, you bet he can!

He's got five.

Five goals...

Wowsers, look at this shirt.

Here goes Defoe.

That's what he does!

So I think this is the shirt I wore against Hull.

I've scored a hat-trick.

Defoe to Lennon...

back to Defoe!

Oh! What a bullet!

It's a good I kept everything. A lot of players don't keep stuff.

They just get rid of stuff, but I just keep stuff.

How does this compare to the house that you grew up in?

How does it compare?

Obviously no comparison.

The house I grew up in, I grew up in my nan's house in Canning Town.

I'm sure if my nan was alive, she would be like, 'My God,' I can imagine.

She would love it.

She would have loved it.

I grew up in East London.

Grew up in Canning Town, Ordnance Road.

So my mum was...

yeah, 17 when she got pregnant.

Imagine how that went down.

I was still living at home with my parents.

I was a baby.

My mum, she obviously, she screamed at me as they do, mothers.

But then she calmed down very quickly and was very supportive.

She was lucky she got support from nan and grandad, but...

it must have been tough.

You've got to very quickly realise

you're going to be responsible for this human being,

and that's your priority.

Jermain used to love jumping on things, running around.

He was just so hype. Hyper, hyper, hyper.

You can imagine what it was like.

Yeah, he kept me busy, Jermain, honestly.

From then on, Jermain just loved kicking a ball.

My nan used to scream all the time.

'Jermain, what did you break? Jermain, you break my picture!'

'You break my lightbulbs!'

'Jermain! Sandra, Jermain's breaking all my things!'

And I'm like, oh, here we go. I get this every day.

And this went on for years.

In love with the game, nothing has changed.

Okay, so, uh...

So this is... this is a cup final that we played in.

This is another cup final.

And this is another game.

This one's a good'un.

Yeah, I dug 'em out. They were in the loft, innit?

It was a proper television guy that came and done this video for us.

There's Jermain. There I am, yeah.

Yeah.

Bertie Knight, special man. Really special.

He had a vision.

Senrab was my first Sunday team.

Amazing history.

We had the best players in East London,

and so many players have gone on to play in a Premier League play for England...

played for Senrab.

Ledley King, Sol Campbell, Bobby Zamora, John Terry.

Unbelievable names. I think about now, it's so much pressure.

Even when I was eight, you play for Senrab, you have to win.

Rah-la-la-la rah-la-loo, Senrab boys are better than you!

I don't really like to fly my own kite, saying I'm a talent spotter.

But I told his mum from a very long time ago, from very early,

she was going to be all right because he was a goal machine.

Goal machine, everybody knew him,

from a very, very young age.

If the team done their job properly,

we knew we was going to win because he would score.

Loved scoring goals.

Loved celebrating the goals.

The obsession, I don't know where it came from.

He got it from his dad. For sure, he got it from his dad.

His dad was an amazing player.

He played for Crystal Palace, for a little bit, but he didn't make it.

Too many distractions, apparently, that's what they said.

But, you know, I heard that he was really good.

I think Jermain must have been four and a half, going on to five,

when the relationship broke down and he moved out of the house.

It was hard, very, very hard

because Jermain was quite attached to his dad.

As a kid, you don't know what's going on. You don't understand.

Did he ask about his dad?

Oh, yeah.

When he was little, he used to ask all the time.

'When is he coming?'

'When is he going to see me? Is Daddy coming?'

When they're younger, they don't understand.

But from that point onwards, it was all me.

I became mum and dad.

Then my mum met my stepdad, Andre, who's an amazing man.

Probably the best stepdad you could ever ask for.

So he was the father figure in my life.

But before then, when my dad was around, I was close with my dad.

Not putting the blame on him, but I feel like there were times

where, when I was younger and had matches, he probably could have come to the games.

I did want him to see every moment.

Mums and dads of Senrab, you know who you are.

For them who don't know who you are, put your hands up

because you should be proud of your sons.

Yes, it must be amazing.

When you finish a game, your dad pats you on the back.

Striker Jermain Defoe!

I wanted dad to know how good I was, he loved football.

So, of course, I want him to... I want him to be proud of me.

I knew his dad from a longer time.

Very, very, very, very nice guy.

But I didn't see the dad at the games.

But it didn't affect his game, you know, to be quite honest.

I mean, if you ask me, it might have helped him to enhance his game

you understand?

Because, you know, like I said again, his speciality was finishing.

You're the one who gets the glories.

Whether Dad's there or not,

Dad's going to hear about it, you understand?

And, you know, he's one of them kids

who would make sure he's doing something to make them hear about it.

Stadium of Light.

Since I've left, I've not been back.

Hiya.

- Sign my shirt! - Can you sign my ball, please?

Sign my shirt?

- And can I have a picture, please? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can you sign my shirt? Can you sign my shirt, please?

Yeah.

- Can you sign my hand? - Your hand? You have to ask your mum.

When you get the love from the fans, there's no better feeling.

Thank you.

- Can I get a picture? - No problem.

- You all right? You all right? - Yeah, good, thanks.

Whatever club I've played for, I just always just tried my best.

Nice, innit?

Hello, me darlin'.

- Hey! - How are you?

I was listening to you yesterday on the radio.

Oh, the Sounds, Gemma and...

- Yeah, Gemma and Brad. - Yeah.

- Well... - You're on the telly, look.

Well, there you go. And you've made the time to come see me?

- As always. - That's lovely.

Every club I've played for means a lot to me.

But I think Sunderland will always be special

because of Bradley Lowery.

A five-year-old mascot who was obviously a massive Sunderland fan

who had neuroblastoma, which is a form of cancer.

We was very close.

And even to this day, I still have many good memories of Bradley in my head.

Hello?

- Hi. - Hey.

- Hi. - Who's this, Nicole?

Jermain Defoe!

- How are you? - All right.

- You okay? - Yeah.

- I love that song! - Yeah.

- I miss that song. - Every single day she comes...

Jermain is patron for the Bradley Lowery Foundation.

I just think it was a fitting tribute because of the relationship they had

that he would continue as a part of the foundation.

The foundation was set up in 2017 when Bradley passed

to support families to access treatment

or equipment that's not available on the NHS.

And children who have got an illness or a disability

get to come in and spend the day in the box and make them special memories.

It is Bradley's legacy.

Bradley loved that box when it was Jermain's.

He used to sit under the table and play with his iPod or, you know,

do what children do.

He loved it, and I love the fact that we can still give them experiences out.

It keeps Bradley's legacy alive.

Defoe! Defoe! Yes, my brother!

It's amazing, it's amazing. It's hard to put in words to describe it.

You know? It's emotional.

You finish playing and you come back and fans still show appreciation.

It makes you feel good.

I wanna do like a proper lap!

Jermain, you're coming back to the Stadium of Light

very soon for the charity game on 8th May.

Would you give us a rundown?

I'm looking forward to coming back,

and hopefully we can get as many fans in as possible for a fantastic cause.

Let's hear it again, everybody, for Jermain Defoe!

Cheers, guys.

I never really thought about him being a pro player

until he started

training with Charlton.

I knew him when he was a schoolboy and...

you know, we had Jermain from a very young age.

You could tell early on Jermain was gonna be a top player.

Came in school holidays and trained with the first team,

which is unusual.

Keith Peacock, the assistant manager,

gives me a bib, gives somebody else a bib, and then gives Jermain a bib.

And I say to Keith, 'Keith, what are you doing?'

And he said, 'No, he's all right.'

Bang. Into the keep ball, he's decent.

Afterwards, we do finishing.

'It's a competition, me and you, okay? If you beat me, I'll get you some boots.'

And then it's like your hair stands on end.

You're walking in thinking, 'I got my hands full here with him.'

Yeah, he had beaten me, so I had to buy him some boots.

I remember after training, I think I phoned Ian Wright

and I just said to him, I said, 'Cor, seen some kid come in today.'

'I haven't seen anything like it. He's going all the way.'

At that point I thought, 'Oh, there's a chance.'

If this is what you want, I'm going to support you all the way.

She always said, 'Just trust me.'

How he eats, rest, look after your body, what time he goes to bed.

All of that I have to just guide him.

Heartbeat used to come on at nine, and I should be walking up the stairs.

It wasn't like, 'Jermain, go to bed now, my sister Chonte.'

It was like Heartbeat

and I'd just be walking up the stairs.

Nine o'clock. Who goes to bed at nine o'clock?

- What happens if you didn't? - You get the look.

You get that look. I can't even do the look.

I'm 40 and I get the look now, and I'm like, oh.

It very much was teamwork.

And if Jermain's got to go for a game, has got to be at training by 4.30,

and I, you know, I finish work at 4.00, I've got to do it.

I got the sack several times.

But I've just felt like, I'll get another job.

But I remember my mum telling me stories about cleaning toilets and stuff,

and I always used to think...

'Wow, you're doing stuff that you don't want to do,

but you have to do it because you're doing this for me.'

You're doing all this for me.

Stuff that's uncomfortable, so...

But it's like...

I said, 'You're never going to clean toilets again.'

I just... it just fuelled me.

Well, this is Lilleshall, the home of the FA National School.

For those who don't know it, it's an estate in the heart of Shropshire,

a boarding school for England footballers.

You train every day like a professional.

Yeah, it was like Hogwarts with football pitches.

To be playing with the best 16 players at 14 and 15

in the country at the time, it's a good help.

When I got selected to go to Lilleshall, that's when I really thought, okay...

this is special.

Because Sol Campbell went there. Andy Cole. Michael Owen. Joe Cole.

Yeah, I remember him coming in.

He was tiny back then.

And when a new player comes in, it's like coming into the new school.

What you got? What you got?

And I knew from day one that he was a special player, he just had an instinct.

They may look like the boys who deliver your newspaper,

but within a couple of years,

their faces will be screaming at you from the back pages.

Take Jermain Defoe, for example.

My mum used to come up to watch the games every weekend,

travelling to Shropshire 2½ hours,

and literally my sister was doing all her revision for exams in the car.

But she did it because she wanted to support her brother.

Amazing.

I have to give my family something because the support I had, was...

an amazing support.

People see the goals, they don't appreciate how hard he worked.

He's one of the most disciplined footballers.

I wish I would have been as disciplined as Jermain.

But he's a cheeky chappy.

I've got a good story, but...

A girlfriend could come up on Friday night to watch a film.

So she's in my room and we're doing things

that 16-year-olds... boyfriends and girlfriends do.

And at ten o'clock, her dad turned up to pick her up early.

And Jermain, he said, 'I'll take you upstairs, no worries.'

So he walked her dad right the way up and her dad opened the door.

I'm there trying to compose myself.

And I could hear him giggling,

and I could have smashed him in his face when I saw him.

He stitched me up massively, yeah. I still ain't got him back for that.

How did Lilleshall compare to East End?

Obviously no comparison.

And, yeah, it was going off in the East End back then.

- Yes, yes, yes. - Yes, Ghetts.

You all right? Nice seeing you.

- Damn, crazy. - What are y'all cooking? What's crackin'?

- Album, man. - Yeah.

Wrapping it up now, to be fair, it's been like a... since the last album,

what's that, two... two and a half years?

- Serious? - Yeah. 2 ½ years.

- Is that normal? - Sometimes takes longer.

- Serious? - Yeah.

It depends on what the narratives, what story I want to tell you.

You always want to have your bangers on, but you also want to tell a story as well.

- You want to say something worth saying. - Let's hear some tunes.

What?!

Somethin' else. Know what I'm sayin'?

Bro.

It's mad.

Like, I was a kid.

So, like, when I'm seeing you do your thing, it's amazing, like...

For someone from the area, across the way, yeah, it's cold.

Like you make it a reality, you know what I'm sayin'?

When I see kids with Defoe T-shirt on and it hits me, I'm like, wow.

Then you're talking like this and doing your thing.

- Yeah. - It's... it's crazy.

It's mad, bro.

I love the East End, proud to be from the East End.

There was these DVDs I used to watch of all the grime artists,

Wiley, Kano, my brother Gavin.

My dad had four boys and Gavin was on the music scene at the time.

Yeah, Esco was a cold emcee, man.

Really good. A lot of potential.

That was a special time for these areas.

And Gavin would come to my mum's house and spend weekends with me and stuff.

We were really close, but I never went to a nightclub ever,

because I thought, if I drink,

this might affect me from getting where I need to get to.

Even when a lot of my friends were sort of like going out and stuff like that,

I never really wanted to do that.

I was single minded.

I had blinkers on.

I just want to play football.

Sandra!

Right.

I could murder a cup of tea.

Harry Redknapp.

What a man.

I love Harry.

Everyone loves Harry.

Cheers, thank you.

Well, I was back at West Ham, and I turned up to watch the youth team.

We played Charlton, and they beat us five-one.

I said, 'How can they be beating us 5-1?'

'Have they got better kids at Charlton?'

They said, 'This guy gets the kids, he's good.'

So I waited in the tea room and he came in,

and I went over and said, 'How are you doing?'

We started chatting, 'Would you be interested in coming to West Ham?'

He had 'Hammers' tattooed on his arm.

- So that was it, really. - Is there much loyalty in football?

Not really.

He said Jermain Defoe was there and we might be able to get him.

It's a bit of a sore point.

West Ham came in and, you know, took him.

Charlton claim the Under-16 International was poached by the Hammers.

Today the Football League ordered West Ham to pay

over one and a half million pounds.

It was a meeting clouded in secrecy. West Ham left, refusing to comment.

Charlton were a little more vocal.

I'm concerned about the way rules operate in this country.

We aren't happy with the compensation.

At that time it was a lot of money.

Yeah. So we got him down and got the deal done eventually.

Listen, it is water under the bridge,

but I'm still disappointed with it all.

- Even 20 years later? - Absolutely, yeah.

You think back, could have made a difference.

It was the best.

And for my mum, it must have been a special day because, you know,

all the hard work and all of a sudden we're at this point where

I've signed a professional contract for West Ham.

It was a big deal. To be honest, I cried.

We're from the East End, so that was our club, West Ham.

I met Ian Wright as well that day.

I was definitely starstruck, to be honest.

I had all Wright's posters all over the wall.

And then I shook his hand, just couldn't believe what was going on.

I was just so excited.

Like a kid. Wanted to put my boots on. I wanted to show Wright how good I was.

That was the Master and the Apprentice there, right there.

And there's so much of that in football,

where you affect the next generation.

I used to come in early, put his boots on. He probably doesn't know.

I used to put his boots on, go in the indoor hall

and just practice my finishing.

After an hour, come back inside, polish them and put them back on the peg.

He probably doesn't know that.

Do you remember his debut?

Oh, the fact that we scored, didn't he, against Walsall, wasn't it?

I remember sitting on the bench, big baggy shirt, pouring down with rain.

It was nil-nil at that point and I looked at the clock, only six minutes to go.

First sample of first team football for Jermain Defoe.

It just happened so quick.

His shot was blocked, Cole against the bar!

And smashed into the net!

A fairytale story for Jermain Defoe!

It just erupted, the fans behind the goal just went mad.

Goosebumps, it was incredible.

West Ham have a new hero, 17-year-old Jermain Defoe.

I felt like I needed that moment.

I wanted to show people how good I was.

- You think your dad was watching? - I think so.

Because my family are West Ham fans anyway.

And there was a pub on the corner near Upton Park,

and he always used to be in that pub talking to the fans and stuff like that.

This is where Jimmy drank.

This was his local, and they would all be here on match days.

Jimmy sat over there behind you.

Loved his football. Was very proud of his son.

Oh, if his son played, he was happy,

but if he scored, over the moon.

The roof would go off.

And then we'd have to hear all day the songs of the West Ham.

From what I know, their relationship wasn't fantastic,

but he was still proud of him.

You know, perhaps from afar.

I don't know, but...it's quite sad.

But he was very proud of his boy.

Perhaps he didn't tell him, but he told everybody else.

When Jermain did his debut for West Ham,

and Jimmy told me this, he was in that same pub...

he said, 'I cried.'

'I cried. I couldn't believe it.'

'I cried and said, "Yeah, that's my son."'

Oh! Immensely proud.

Jimmy was immensely proud.

How could you not be?

I got a phone call from Mel Machin at Bournemouth, the manager,

rung me and said, 'We're struggling, bottom of the league, can't score a goal.'

'Have you got a striker that we could loan?'

'I'm desperate.' I said, 'I've got a kid you can have.'

'Oh, no,' he said. 'We don't need a kid, really.'

'This league is a tough league.'

'It's a men's, you know. How old is he or she?'

'Seventeen.'

'Oh, no, no, we don't, you know.'

- 'Well, how big is he?' - 'Oh, I'd say he's about 5' 6".'

He said, 'No, no, he's no good to us.' I said, 'Well, he's a bit special.'

'This ain't no normal kid.'

'Well, all right, okay.'

So I talked Mel into actually taking him on loan.

So you're going to Bournemouth. Never heard of Bournemouth.

I'm from the East End. Don't know where Bournemouth is.

And he went and scored ten goals in ten consecutive games,

which broke the record.

Through to Defoe!

A brilliant steal by Defoe! He's done it!

What a performance by the kid!

Told you so.

By the time I went back to West Ham, my mentality was,

I'm ready to do this now. It's a different level.

Different ball game.

A very warm welcome from Upton Park.

This is my chance, my moment.

Everything I've done is for this moment.

And it could be in here!

It's Jermain Defoe!

And I'm off. I'm not looking back now, I'm going.

Oh, wonderfully done!

Isn't that fantastic?

He was a goal scorer.

He had that instinct...

Lovely, and what a great goal by Defoe!

...that ability to bang balls in the back of the net.

Fans, that's what they want.

A kid from down the road from where they were, and he's doing it.

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, they loved him.

When the fans love and appreciate you, there's no better feeling.

At this point, I'm doing really well and people are talking about me.

The fans love me and my dad's in the East End,

you know, he goes in all the pubs, it's all West Ham fans.

So of course he's going to get in contact.

We would speak, he would message me.

That was always nice.

But there was never times where we would meet up

and go out together or go for dinner.

It wasn't like that.

Maybe he was happy supporting from a distance

or being in the pubs with the fans and having a drink, watching it like that.

Maybe, I don't know.

Not only that, he was battling his own problems.

You know, he had a problem with alcohol.

Maybe he wanted to hide that.

Maybe he wanted to hide that.

That first full season at West Ham was unbelievable.

And then Harry left the club. Glenn Roeder took over.

And then the season after, Glenn got ill, which was a hard time for everyone.

It was the end of the season, we were struggling, we left it too late.

West Ham United have been relegated.

So many of the faces that tramp off the pitch here will be sold.

They have to be sold.

I was represented by a young agent

and the conversation happened, he said, 'Right,

hand in a transfer request because the players are gonna leave.'

'You need to be in the Premier League.'

'You need to be one of the first to go, basically.'

I didn't feel good about it.

But... I just trusted my agent.

But the backlash was brutal.

It was very traumatic for him.

It was... it was horrible.

It was horrible. He was all in the papers.

It was just not nice.

The fans were very angry.

I wished that never happened...

Because I loved the club. The club gave me a chance.

The fans loved me... a lot of my family were West Ham fans.

It was a horrible feeling.

I've been in situations where I've been booed...

by fans and given stick at different stages of your career,

and it's like, you know, you build a thick skin as a footballer.

You can't make it without having it.

You have to be bullet-proof really, and you build that from a young age.

It was an opportunity for a fresh start because all the stuff at West Ham.

I'm gonna play well, work hard, and I just want to be the best.

I was still only young.

It was a lot of pressure.

A newbie arrive, you look at him and say, 'Let's see this guy,' you know?

And then you train and they start bam, bam, bam,

and you're thinking, 'Wow!'

On your debut, fans expect.

I went for nine millio, which was a lot,

and I had to justify that.

In the warm-up, I was quite anxious, to be honest.

I'd been watching him, I'd seen Jermain, I knew.

You know, strikers see straight away other strikers

and see how good they are.

Robbie Keane said, 'Just relax. Play. Just do what you do.'

Jermain Defoe blasts!

Oh! What a treat! Thank you!

Just the roar when you get that sort of reception is a nice feeling.

Yeah, it was on.

What a goal!

It was 22 goal I scored in that first full season.

- I had to, though. - Are you happy when you're scoring goals?

Am I happy?

More than happy. You get the best version of me.

When I come home, I'm happy, I'm smiley.

When I go out, I want to go out. I want to go places.

I remember finishing training.

I'm driving through Chingford, in my Range Rover, there was like a cage.

I see these kids playing football.

I remember saying to Moses, 'Shall we have a kick-around?'

'Are you crazy?' I said, 'Just stop the car.'

walked onto the pitch, said, 'Listen.'

I said, 'Just forget about who I am. Let's just play.'

- Good to see ya. - Nice to see you, my friend.

Years later I remember being at Tottenham and this young Harry Kane said,

He said, 'Remember that day when you stopped in Chingford

in your black Range Rover and you had a kick-around?'

I was like, 'Yeah, why?' 'Because I was one of those kids.'

I was like, 'What?'

Yeah, I remember it clearly.

It was great for me to be able to see that and learn,

and I just wanted to soak it all in.

I look back, it feels like it weren't too long ago.

Hope the kids are listening to that.

We're all part of the same lineage, the same history.

And I know Jermain learned a lot from Ian Wright.

And I know that Harry Kane learned a lot from Jermain Defoe.

It's mad, I'll tell you the truth.

I need to go and do it one day, I need to continue that tradition.

It should be like that.

Like I said before,

you affect the next generation.

It's important to give back.

It's easy for people to come and talk to me about goals and football.

But away from that, what did you give back?

- Welcome back. - All right?

I'm good. You too?

It's exactly the same, you know?

- Some things don't change. - This corridor. Wow.

What's happenin'?

- How you been? Sorry, man. - No worries.

- What lesson is this one? - Science, science.

- Oh, science. - Yeah.

Two days, right?

Nice to see you, man.

What year is this?

- Year eight? - Yeah.

Young, young, whole life ahead.

You have to concentrate. Yeah?

Nice. I'm gonna have a walk-around.

- Maybe see you later. - Yeah.

Cool. Thanks, sir. Cheers.

- Back to the cage? - Yeah.

- See the foot boys playing football? - Yeah.

I bet you've got many memories from the cage.

Oh, my God.

I'd always enjoyed my coaching.

Relax, relax, relax!

I remember the feeling I'd get scoring goals.

Pass forward, pass forward, quick! Nice.

Good block, good block.

But coaching is probably the nearest you get to playing.

Hold it, hold it. Pass it, pass it, pass it.

Do this one again. You see, when you get here...

When you get here...

you've got this space, you don't need to pass early.

- Understand? - Yeah.

So if you bring it... and then once you commit them,

when you're close, you play it, understand?

Be confident, stay on the ball.

Play, play, play, play!

Stay on it, stay on it. Get it back, get it back.

Better.

Go, go, go!

A little finishing, no?

All right, come around, boys.

That was good. Good standard. What did youse think?

- You enjoyed that? - Yeah.

I liked the intensity, youse work hard.

So we've got lots of aspiring footballers here.

What would be your one kind of piece of advice?

The work ethic, really. Work hard every day.

Um, standards.

I say standards, I don't mean just when you're training.

I mean the way you talk, the way you treat your teachers.

That's standards.

But express yourself every day. Enjoy it, help each other.

You've got to stick together no matter what, and with a bit of luck,

maybe one day I'll be home watching you play for England.

Boys, what do you say?

- Thank you. - Cheers, guys, thank you.

- Thanks. - Cheers, boys.

- Cheers. - Thanks very much.

- No problem. - Okay, boys? Well done.

- Well done. - Well done, boys.

There was talk about me getting in the England squad

because I was scoring a lot of goals and I was in a good place,

and you just get like a... I mean, you get a text.

To find out if you play for England, you get a text?!

You get a text, yeah. You get a text.

I've said it before. 'You get a text?'

You literally get a text. It's the best message you'd ever get.

Wow. Just the pinnacle.

You're representing your country.

Again, I cried.

I cry all the way through.

World Cup qualifying game's different. You have to win.

Elite players, the best.

David Beckham. Michael Owen. Steven Gerrard. Frank Lampard.

You don't get bigger.

Playing against Poland.

Difficult game, hostile.

From that first whistle, I was on it.

I remember Beckham getting it. I was in the box, my back to goal.

I remember Beckham flicking it around the corner, all my instincts kicked in.

Just unbelievable feeling.

At that point, the best moment in my life.

At that particular time...

England footballers were becoming massive superstars.

Editors realised their private lives suddenly became of interest.

The gloves were off.

Everyone was fair game.

This is what is published pretty soon afterwards.

I just want you to kind of look at that.

Yeah, I remember that when that came out.

They build you up and then they knock you down.

And that's... that's what they were doing there.

It was hard to understand because I thought that

once you're doing well for your country,

I thought all the stuff in the papers after that would be good.

It's like, 'Yeah, I'm up here.' 'How can we knock him down?'

You know, 'What can we dig up? What can we find?'

I remember speaking to my mum, she was devastated.

He was vulnerable at that time.

It's hurtful, but Jermain grew to be very resilient

because you have to be.

Behind closed doors, there was a circulation war.

Editors were looking at any little grain of hope of increasing their circulation.

Players like Jermain Defoe were mere fodder for the tabloid press.

I mean, after this point, it was... it was a regular thing.

And this girl that I was involved with is a 'love rat'.

I've hurt people over the years, but no one's perfect.

You're young and successful and single.

Everyone wants to meet someone, fall in love, you know.

But because I was in the public eye, I was a target at that time.

When you don't expect it, it's tough.

Paps outside my house.

Paps following me. It does make you paranoid.

Come to our restaurant and there's like 50 paps there.

'I didn't know they was there.'

People close to footballers realised

there was a new industry for them to make money.

It was difficult to trust people, which is a horrible feeling when you question

how genuine they are, but I could never, ever, for years,

could never connect to anyone, I had a guard up.

I could date people, but I could never connect.

- Hi. You all right? - Yeah, good.

- I'm good. - Some flowers.

Oh, thanks, how lovely.

- Let me take these off. - Leave them on, that's fine.

I have to wash the floor.

This reminds me of my mum's dogs, you know?

I love this picture.

Still a lot of nice memories.

Of course, like it was towards the end, it was, as you can imagine, tough.

Bradley just absolutely adored seeing Jermain.

When I see him here next to Bradley's bench,

it just brings back a lot of memories, special memories, happy memories.

The connection between them, it was special.

I feel everything happens for a reason, and it does change you as a person.

It definitely changes you as a person.

How you look at life, how you look at things.

Puts everything into perspective.

He's probably just reminiscing on the times that he had with Bradley

and how that made him feel as well,

because, although he did a lot for Bradley,

I think Bradley did a lot for Jermain.

Come on, then, guys.

Let's rock and roll.

- I can put it somewhere else. - No, no, no.

- Is it all right? - Fine.

- Yeah? - This is your means of business, right?

Yeah.

So, can you just explain to me what is the job of a football agent?

No.

To some people, the job of a football agent

is to sit there, just pick up the phone, and just talk numbers.

But for me, an agent's role is to give a player

the best advice to help them fulfil their potential.

And that's it.

Anyway, I went to the same school as his mum.

I used to hang around with Jermain's dad, Jimmy.

So I was going to be even more fierce

to help him, protect him, and try to help him fulfil his potential.

Because football is the dream factory.

I was hoping to go to the World Cup in Germany.

I've just felt razor sharp, confident.

I felt strong in my body.

His profile was massive.

Cissé.

Kaká.

Zidane.

Beckham.

Defoe.

Until that point, I felt I did enough

because this, it's... obviously based on merit.

And I remember being at home and...

I remember waiting for the text.

I thought, the squad's there, I've got the TV on.

I thought, I must be in the squad.

Drafted into the World's Cup squad, a teenager who is virtually unknown.

Wake up, Theo Walcott.

You're not dreaming. It's actually really happening.

I hope people will say after the World Cup

that it was a good gamble.

I was devastated.

I just couldn't understand it.

And I was getting messages from all of England fans were like,

you know, 'He should be going.'

Looking back now, it was the wrong call, wasn't it?

Go to a World Cup's the pinnacle.

And, uh...

yeah, I felt for him.

Big disrespect, in my point of view anyway, you know.

Theo's a good player maybe, but...

that was... nah.

It was a strange, what did they take Theo for?

It was about going and trying to win the World Cup.

So, why wouldn't you take him? You'd guarantee goals.

I always believe within myself, if England had used him more regular...

starting... England, would have...

England, there's a great possibility England might have done something.

After that, I wanted to get my head down and play football.

Remember, I loved Tottenham.

And it just happened where my contract was running down and, you know,

there's negotiations in the background.

- You know, Juande Ramos come in. - Morning.

The language barrier, I didn't have any relationship with him.

Didn't speak to him, I'd speak to Gus, someone I played with,

and I remember speaking to Gus, 'What's going on?'

But those negotiations, they were tough.

The club wanted...

Jermain being an asset, to get something.

Like it's important, he cannot go for free.

And Juande had to go and talk to him.

I was there, to tell him, 'Okay, Jermain, you must renew your contract,

or then, you know, in January you need to go

because, the club needs to get some money.'

I didn't feel it was right.

When you are in that conversation, you think...

because I was a football player... and if you tell me that, we got a problem.

He said, 'Or you can leave.'

'If you want to, leave, tell your agent, no problem.'

To me, he could have gone anywhere.

He had the ability to be world class.

Daniel Levy couldn't believe it and was like, 'I'll speak to the manager.'

But when a manager says that, that was it. I just felt disrespected.

Ramos.

It was a hard time for me at the time.

And when maybe you're not feeling totally happy...

I'd always go back and watch my goals just to sort of like...

just remember that buzz, the roar from the fans of scoring a goal

and stuff like that.

That's a good finish, that one. Sharp.

Even now, I always watch my goals.

Just obsessed.

I enjoyed this goal against Holland.

Jermain Defoe! Of course he can!

How did that even go in?

Like, I was rewinding, watch it again.

Gives me a nice feeling.

Crouchy, headed back down.

- Looking for Defoe... - Cheers, Crouchy.

Yeah, your move to Portsmouth. How did that come about?

It was Harry Redknapp, to be honest.

- I remember getting a phone call. - Yeah, probably.

- Which is... - Breaking all the rules.

Yeah, if he's under contract at Tottenham, he can't be talking to me.

I could be called up before the FA over this.

Yeah, that's how transfers work, you talk...

They don't just happen.

I'd spoke to Tottenham, so I had permission to talk to Harry.

I didn't know till transfer day.

A happy Harry Redknapp, it looks like.

- It must be a joy to have him back. - Delighted, yeah.

Again, you know, in football, stuff happens.

But Jermain just wanted to play.

And Harry made players feel like a million dollars,

so you can understand why he went.

Delighted to sign him, fantastic signing. He's too good a player not to be played.

Here's Defoe! Shoots! Goal!

A dream debut for Jermain Defoe!

Bringing in Crouchy was your master plan?

Yeah. Crouch and Defoe.

What a pairing, you know?

It's not rocket science, is it, really, 'cause you hit the ball up to Crouchy...

when it dropped, bang, he put it in the back of the net.

One-nil. Game over.

- Good times. - Good times.

Been on a journey together.

Under 18s and 21s.

I've got to be honest with you, there are times he could have passed a lot more.

And times he'd shoot from impossible angles, I'll be like,

'fucking square it,' you know what I mean?

But that's what made Jermain Jermain, right?

He was hungry for goals.

I was just happy to be playing every game and scoring goals consistently again.

My first goal, I remember, was Everton away.

And Jermain dinks the goalkeeper. It hits the bar.

I'm going to say it bounces over the line, but I nod it in from half the yard.

I've nicked a goal.

You don't nick a goal off Jermain as David Nugent can testify.

Trust me. Google it.

- I just thought, how can you do that? - I don't think that they still speak.

I felt wanted. It was nice. It was a nice feeling.

But for me it wasn't like...

I mean this in the nicest possible way.

It wasn't like, I'm going to Portsmouth and stay there.

I just needed to go somewhere to kickstart my career

and hopefully, you know, kick on from there.

Harry Redknapp arrived at Tottenham.

The new head coach of Tottenham.

It's come out of nowhere.

Harry's left Portsmouth, I thought, 'I've come and he's gone'

like, 'What happens now?'

But then I had a little smile.

Waiting for the phone to ring. I knew what was going to happen.

My name is Peter Rabin.

I'm club dental surgeon for Tottenham Hotspur Football Club.

Peter's a lovely man.

He's Spurs mad.

I was very upset when he moved to Portsmouth.

- Good dentist? - Amazing, can't you see my teeth?

I said to my wife, 'Would you like me to take you

for this Portsmouth Spurs game?' 'cause I'm very romantic like that.

We went to the match, Jermain couldn't play,

and we were watching the game,

and all of a sudden, the Spurs fans come out with the Jermain's song.

And they're singing this song with great gusto.

Called me all excited, 'Jem, listen to this.'

Like, 'What, Peter?'

I put the phone up, you know, I said, 'Jem, listen to this.'

And I could hear those fans singing my song.

He loved it. 'Oh,' he said, 'I love it.'

Made me think, that's crazy. That's strange.

I've left the club and fans are still singing my name. Why?

He jmessaged to say that, 'You need to come back home.'

My God, really? I'm going to ring Peter Rabin up.

He's broke the rules. He's broke the law.

I'm going to report him to the dentistry union or whatever it is.

I'm gonna get him suspended.

The only topic of conversation was Defoe and when he'd be coming back to the Lane.

They're quite keen to do a deal if the money's right.

After a few days, it was dragging on, someone called me, an agent called me,

and he said to me, 'Right,' he said, 'I've spoken to Juventus

and they want you to go there,

but just wait and we'll see what happens tomorrow.'

Then, yeah, tomorrow comes and that's it, and I signed for Tottenham.

- Juventus, that's a big club. - I know.

But it was like... I was so fixed on going back to Tottenham

because I didn't like how I left, and it was unfinished business.

Defoe!

That's what he does!

The moment he steps out in a white shirt,

I think it's always going to work because Tottenham was his club.

And it's Defoe!

He could bang them in from anywhere.

Magnificent goal!

He was fit as a fiddle. Yeah, he was just scoring goals for fun.

Defoe!

Tottenham qualify for the Champions League

for the first time in their history!

Oh, man, it's a great time, great time.

When are you gonna get that feeling again?

Yes, sir!

Yes, sir!

You all right? You all right?

Great character, great lad. Good, good friend of mine.

You won't find someone who dreams for goals more than him.

Even today he walks in, straight away he's like,

'Stay away from me, it's goals today. I've been doing this my whole life.'

I suffer a lot in the training ground, training sessions, you know?

Yeah, very fun. Yeah, we had a really good time.

Top, top player, and an even better person.

Cheeky chappy, great lad.

Breath of fresh air, comes in into the changing room.

I looked at him, and still, you see him now

playing in the charity game today, still fit, he's still sharp.

I said he could still play.

Great guys, you all turn up at the game. You deserve...

Honestly, it's incredible.

You could have got that?

Daniel, we've got to get you a club. Daniel, it's...

I'll be your agent. I'm going to find you a club.

I always get that moment; it could be ten seconds where I'm standing there...

Jermain!

I'm like, oh, my God, where's it gone?

I wish I could go back and get, like just the...

just to have that feeling.

Yeah!

The group, in the group shot.

Jermain's a legend for this football club

and we will be forever for what he's done, not just for Tottenham, but for the game.

Lubbly jubbly, guys.

That's a lovely jubbly.

I know very well, Jermain Defoe, very, very quick, I like him.

That 2010 season, it had to be my year.

The World Cup motivated me the whole season.

No way I was going to get that phone call or that text about standby,

no way I was going to get that again.

Arriving in South Africa outside the hotel,

the staff were outside singing and dancing

and getting into my room with my PlayStation, my Xbox,

and my MP3 pillow and with all my initials and the phone number 19.

The first game against USA, it was one-one.

Algeria nil-nil.

And the next game was huge, had to win.

The hopes of the nation rest with our boys in South Africa.

England have to win this game.

Something special was gonna happen.

In training, I was on it.

I was ready to play. I was focused, I was fit, I was sharp.

And I knew that if I'd get an opportunity,

I knew that I could be the one to make the difference.

Defoe's got away from his man. Can he finish?

Of course he can!

The whole world is watching.

That's the pinnacle.

And played Germany in the next game.

- Should we skip that? - Yeah.

Wish we had VAR then.

- You done a lot to it since I was here? - Yeah.

Look at this.

Yeah, now obviously I can think about all the great moments,

how fortunate and blessed I've been.

Literally, I keep all my boots.

Debut for West Ham.

Yeah, that was a special night.

It feels like it was yesterday when, actually, when I was like 16,

I walked into the West Ham training ground.

I remember Trevor Sinclair saying at training,

he said to me, I must've been about 17 at the time,

'Enjoy it, because it goes quick.'

When you're 17 and someone, it's almost like, 'What do you mean?'

'I'm 17 years old. I've got like, I've got years.'

But honestly, it just goes like that.

So this is my 50th England cap.

So when you get 50 caps, the boys sign it.

While playing, you never reflect.

Because the next game comes around so quick.

It's just relentless.

It was a lot of pressure, but I loved it.

Going to Euros in 2012, everyone wanted to know who was going to lead the line.

He was playing so well at that time.

He was having a very successful spell with Tottenham,

who were one of the top teams at that time.

I knew I was in contention because Wazza was suspended for the first two games.

I knew I'd scored more than Andy Carroll and Danny Welbeck.

Jermain was probably in many ways

the most experienced and the furthest advanced of those players.

I remember at training camp, and I remember feeling so sharp,

like the sharpest I felt all season.

It was pretty obvious that he was a player we needed in the England team.

My mentality was, right, I'm ready to do this.

It came out of nowhere.

My brother actually called me and said, 'Dad thinks he's got cancer.'

'I need to see him.'

I remember going to see my dad in East London.

When the doctors walked into the room,

like, I knew that something weren't right.

Basically said, 'Yeah, you've got cancer.'

I don't remember how I found out.

What we decided to do was very, very simply let him know

that the priority was his father.

We made it clear to him that, you know, we would support as best we could.

He just said, 'Every day after training, you can leave the hotel.'

'We'll get you a car. Go and see your dad.'

'Spend a few hours and come back and meet us for the evening meal.'

So this was like every day.

So train, go to the hotel, put my tracksuit on,

go straight to the Royal Marsden Hospital and sit with dad for hours.

I wasn't privy to their conversations, but his dad told me

he wanted to let Jermain know that, you know,

he's sorry that he wasn't there for him when he should have been.

And, you know, just wanted Jermain's forgiveness

and that he loves him.

And I was happy for that.

I felt I had to be there with him

because I just wanted to just give him that support.

Though we didn't have that relationship, I was happy I spent that time with him.

You know, when he really needed me, I was there.

So this was every single day up until we left to go to the tournament.

I didn't know whether to go or not.

Didn't know whether to travel with the team.

There's more than football. This is family, my dad's dying.

I don't think I can leave.

Then I thought, my dad would want me to go.

He would want me to play for my country.

I remember arriving in Poland.

We arrived into the hotel,

and we had the evening meal, and my head was all over the place,

and I remember just being in the games room with the boys

and went to bed, and my phone rang about four in the morning.

Like, I knew straight away.

I remember he left very early

and I was waiting there to have some breakfast with him

before he went home.

It did hit him really hard.

And I think it shook him really hard

because you missed out so much.

And the quality time that you missed out

wasn't because you didn't want him in your life.

Didn't really sink in, to be honest, 'cause when I went back and saw the body

and I flew back to... I think I was in shock.

I felt numb and I just felt like I was in shock at the time.

It's a lot, it's a lot to take on.

But it was difficult. It was difficult for him emotionally.

After the funeral, I flew back to the tournament.

He came back and joined the squad

and didn't give me any indication that, you know, he didn't want to be there

or didn't want to play.

I don't remember anything like that at all.

He told us his head was all over the place.

Yeah, well, to be fair, he disguised it well, then.

The England team have exceeded expectations in Ukraine,

but that success just makes them thirsty for more.

For me, it was all about winning.

But at the same time, to be honest, it's a good thing I probably didn't play.

We was rubbish.

When we got knocked out, I thought, I need to be home,

go on holiday and switch off and... just be with my family.

St Lucia's a place I always went back to.

It's where my nan and granddad originally came from.

It does give you strength.

After what I went through with my dad,

I remember being in America with Tottenham pre-season,

and my friend called: 'Something's happened to your cousin.'

'Hannah's died in St Lucia.'

What do you mean, Hannah's died in St Lucia?

The first thing I thought is, that can't be right,

because I just saw Hannah at my dad's funeral, like, just weeks ago.

I couldn't understand what was going on.

And I'd just lost my dad and then, you know, my cousin's just died.

That whole year was just like...

It was just crazy, to be honest, because I just couldn't believe what was going on.

You said that you had a difficult year emotionally

and lost people in the family.

What we've been through, I've always kept the faith,

I've always been positive.

Just tell me about what happened earlier in the year with your brother Gavin.

Gavin, uh, was a...

that was a shock.

My mum basically said to me,

'Your brother's on life support machine

in London at a hospital.'

'Like, he had a fight, someone's hit him and he's hit his head on the kerb.'

I was at the training ground and I just jumped in a car,

came straight to hospital, and then, as soon as I got there, he just went.

It's almost like, is this some sort of curse or something?

Like...

After that, it made me sort of... don't know if 'paranoid' is the word.

If someone would message me something like...

call me quick, one of those messages, I always hated it.

I'd panic. You know, my heart would drop.

I remember the feeling I'd get, 'Something's happened.'

I think I was just scared of losing people.

After that, I didn't feel like the same person.

I think we all knew Jermain was going through something like that.

But quite often footballers don't talk about their feelings.

It was more like, don't show emotion. You got to keep that inward.

Football's not a place where you sort of express your feelings.

You wouldn't put your hands up and say, 'I'm struggling.'

Our generation was just, bottle it up, put the walls up,

go out there and perform as best you can.

And when you're younger, you know, you're so just focused on football.

You always just think everything's just going to be, you know, good news.

And, you know, you're playing football, you know, nothing else matters.

But when you lose people close to you, your priority changes

and, you know, you want a family and you want to settle.

Because when you go home and you shut the door,

then you're on your own.

Whereas, if you've got a family, you've got kids and you're settled,

then you've got other people around you.

At that time, I was seeing someone.

Which was quite casual, to be honest.

She basically said, 'I'm pregnant.'

It's a special thing.

It's, I mean, it's a blessing to have kids.

So... when I sort of like accepted what was going on, I thought, okay, then.

I spoke to a few people, spoke to my mum.

Told everyone, I was like, 'Yeah, you know, I'm going to be a dad.'

And everyone was delighted, everyone was happy.

I wanted to give her the full support.

And that's exactly what I did.

Baby came.

I was the most happiest woman on this earth, honestly,

because Jermain was happy.

We're all happy.

I was excited and I was looking forward to it.

But there was still that little thing inside me.

I thought, you know what, I still need to make sure

this is... it's my child because...

it goes back to maybe me not trusting people,

being a little bit paranoid.

I remember speaking to her, saying, 'Listen...

not trying to be disrespectful,

but just for peace of mind, do you mind if we do a DNA test?'

And I remember speaking to the England doctor,

and explained what was going on.

The England football doctor?

Yes, because I remember it was around that time we had a game.

I didn't want this in the public domain, so I'm trusting the doctor.

And he told me straight, he said, 'The DNA's come back.'

'It's not your child,' he told me straight.

Them is his words, he just told me.

I just said to him, 'You don't have to worry.'

'I'll speak to the manager, Roy.'

'I'm fine. I want to stay with the team.'

'I can deal with it.'

Just putting on a brave face.

But deep down, I was hurting inside.

Again, another traumatic experience for Jermain.

He stepped away from everything.

It just made him

really look at life a lot differently.

Even before that...

I was wary. Even before that, I was...

I didn't want to connect with anyone.

I wouldn't say I didn't want to connect,

but I felt it was difficult to connect with people.

And then when that happened, it was almost like,

well, this is the reason why I'm the way I am.

The opportunity to go to Toronto, yeah, it was an escape.

I needed that to happen for me.

So the timing was just spot on, and they were doing so much to get me there,

like to shoot this big advert.

Jermain Defoe is coming to Toronto.

It's a bloody big deal.

Went out for dinner, and then I got a call from Drake.

They did everything, flew mum over, my stepdad Andre,

took her to the basketball game at courtside.

She said, 'Can you believe I was having a nice nap,

jetlagged, and they wake me up and...

and they asked to take a picture with this James guy.'

'LeBron James, Mum.' She goes, 'Yeah?'

I said...

It was good money for Spurs at the time.

Well, for a 31-year-old.

Daniel Levy basically said to me, 'I feel like you deserve it

for what you've done in England

with everything that had gone on,' because it was a lot.

I thought I was ready, yeah.

Jermain, your thoughts on arriving in Toronto?

Yeah, I'm excited as you can imagine.

It's been a long couple months.

I just wanted to get over here and obviously see the city.

I'm looking forward to it.

It's a fantastic challenge, and I'm excited, I feel like a little kid.

It was a fantastic contract. It wasn't just about football.

It... it was a change, something different.

Yeah, I enjoyed it.

But I just missed...

Wouldn't say I missed home, but I missed the Premier League.

I'm the manager of Sunderland, and I'm looking for a striker,

and Jermain, we knew he will score goals in England.

So you don't imagine how much I push that.

The text said, 'Have we got a chance?'

It's crazy how I remember these things. 'Have we got a chance? Gus.'

So I said to Gus, 'Okay,' I said, 'well, if you speak, it's right,

I've got permission, I'd love to be back in the Premier League.'

I remember going to my assistant after the phone call and say...

'I think he's coming,' you know, like proper, like,

'I think we've got a chance here.'

You want to get your boots on and start playing

and get off to a good start.

I felt like people started to doubt me because you go to the MLS,

it's almost like you're done, basically, you're done.

- You come back with something to prove? - Yeah.

I'd fire me because people probably felt like, 'Maybe he's finished.'

'Can he come do it again in the best league in the world?'

Defoe might take it on here.

- Great run by Defoe! - Oh, wow!

One hundred and 50 Premier League goals!

Should you doubt Jermain Defoe?

I don't think you should, and I came back and had one of the best seasons ever.

Well, in his first match against Newcastle in the Wear-Tyne Derby...

it's Defoe!

What a goal!

The rush that I got all over my body...

Jermain Defoe!

I just started crying.

Don't think I've experienced anything like it.

Look what it means to him.

Almost in tears as he leaves the field.

But to score a goal like that in such a big game,

I thought, wow, like, this is special. This is what I come back for.

- Mum? - Hi, Jem.

I was just, um, packing up, packing up my luggage to...

for tomorrow, basically, to come down.

In terms of football, I was happy at Sunderland,

fans loved me, I was scoring goals.

But I don't know if I was totally happy because...

the stuff I'd been through before.

Maybe when I was happy playing football, but then away from that...

I don't know if I was totally happy.

I wasn't there when Bradley got to see Jermain for the first time.

I seen the video afterwards, and it was just the most incredible video.

And still to this day, I watch it.

Where is J-Jermain?

Jermain!

How are you?

I got real shoes!

- Have you? - Yeah.

And Jermain was his favourite player. There's no denying that one.

I thought he was just a mascot.

And I just thought, you know, you'd go meet the players.

You'd go on the pitch, in the box, and that would be it.

I never expected what happened afterwards.

It was just weird, it was just like...

The way he looked at me, it was like, just that connection.

I never experienced anything like it before,

because there's been other times where, you know, I've met mascots and, you know,

they're really shy and quiet and stuff, but this was just completely different.

It's almost like...

like I met you before, like this has happened before.

It was powerful the way it happened.

From that moment, he just was like, 'Can I see Jermain, can I see Jermain?'

It was just... it was just lovely.

That's when Jermain said that he was going to come up

and see Bradley in hospital.

A lot of people have come into my life and... maybe it's just me, maybe it is...

that thing where, you know, I've come across genuine people and I've...

Me just not trusting people, you're sort of like...

like I've mentioned, having a guard up

and not connecting and not getting close to people.

But then with Bradley, all he wanted was to meet me.

There's nothing else he wants from me. That's genuine love.

Jermain!

Bradley absolutely adored Jermain.

He was just happy that he got to meet his hero.

They'd become best friends.

In the last week of Bradley's life, I knew that he was really poorly.

I knew that it wouldn't be long left.

Jermain was on holiday, and I texted him and said,

'I don't think... it's not going to be long now.'

'Bradley's struggling.' I said, 'I need to come to the house.'

I felt I had to be there.

And Jermain flew home early.

Got to my house about eleven o'clock at night.

I lived in a bungalow at the time, and my dad was in the living room

and I was in the bedroom with Bradley, because he never moved out of bed, really.

And Jermain started talking to me dad, and Bradley looked at us,

bearing in mind he'd laid asleep all day, he hadn't moved,

and he went, 'Mummy?'

I went, 'Aye.' 'Jermain!' I went, 'Yes, baby?'

And like, he just...

I remember sitting in Gemma's bed in the house with Bradley

just sitting there, but I just felt like I had to be there with him.

Jermain didn't want to leave, it was two o'clock in the morning.

And Jermain went.

We got back into bed, and that was the last time he seen him.

I don't know how to describe it,

how a six-year-old boy...

can have that sort of impact.

The streets were packed.

Sunderland and Newcastle fans standing together to pay their respects.

Never thought I'd see that, and Bradley did that.

And we want to welcome now to the show Gemma Lowrey.

You've got an event at the Stadium of Light.

What's happening today?

Yeah. So, today we've got a celebrity football match

where Jermain's being captain of the Bradley Lowery Foundation team.

So we're very excited.

We've sold lots of tickets, gonna be a good, fun day.

- You all right? - Yeah.

Just getting everyone started.

- You ready? - Yeah.

We have become really good friends, so we still have that close connection.

Jermain to us is, he's not like a famous footballer,

Jermain to us is a friend.

He could have, you know, cut ties when Bradley died,

but that wasn't the relationship that he had with Bradley or with us.

I'm pleased that that's continued.

Yeah, that was good. Last little... last little blow for me.

Jermain, I'm putting you on the spot here, but we know this game is very personal.

Say a few words.

I want to thank everyone for coming out, amazing turnout.

Everyone knows what Bradley meant to me.

On behalf of the family, I thank everyone that's played a part.

It's been fantastic, so thank you.

Thank you!

Football's given me so much. Footballs given me, my family, so much.

And it's been hard work, a lot of sacrifice.

But when you're younger, you don't realise what comes with it.

You can't prepare for that.

But have to be grateful for everything.

Bradley is looking down, he would have been proud.

Thanks a lot, Jermain.

- Well done. Thanks for coming up. - No problem.

The people I've lost that are close to me, I believe they're with me every day.

It's more than just kicking a ball.

My life was just... it was just all about goals.

But when you reflect on everything...

I can see it's not just about, you know, football.

There's other stuff that's important.

Thank you so much.