Original subtitles

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- Hi. You must be the skipper.

- Joe. - Rob.

- How's it going? - Good, mate.

- Archie Cox. - Welcome to heaven.

Give this bloke some money, mate, for carrying your stuff.

- Here you go, mate.

- Hey, don't give him that much. He'll ruin the economy.

Family.

- You know Toobs, right? - Oh, yeah.

- Toobs and the other two are coming in from Singapore.

They'll be a while yet.

- Oh, what about bull? Is he in?

- Oh, his flight landed about two hours ago from Lombok.

He hasn't surfaced yet.

- Bull... god, it doesn't get much better than this.

- Speak of the devil.

- Hey. Fellas.

- How you doing? Archie. Archie Cox.

Man, it's gonna be off the hook.

- Good to meet you, Grummy. How are you, mate?

- Hey. Rob. - Glad to meet you.

- Yeah, likewise, eh.

- Joey, how are you, mate?

- What took you so long?

- A little bit of mix-up in customs.

I must have ticked the wrong box.

- Let's hit the streets.

Bull, you can give us a tour, yeah?

- Yeah, let's go do it.

- Man, you were solid in Cote Arroyo.

I swear I must have watched that video a million times.

- Cheers, Grummy.

- I thought you ditched him.

- Well, you know what, you got to make them do it,

and then they'll leave you alone.

- That's obviously not working.

I'm gonna dump him for you.

- No, no, no, don't. I want... no, don't!

We'll send him a postcard or something.

- That's us. Where's everybody else?

- They're in the boat.

- What kind of fish is that?

- Tuna. - No, it's banana.

- There is debate on that, mate.

You're gonna try it, okay?

Three rup for this? Two?

And not swallow.

- Mmm. - Oh, yeah, yeah.

- It's hot.

- Ooh.

- I don't want to.

- Well, hello there, sexy.

- Hello there.

Maybe you should make a film about me.

- Maybe I am.

- Oh, Grummy.

You can't take that on the boat, all right?

- She's our mascot.

- What, is she gonna keep you warm at night?

- Oh, I'm not that desperate.

- No animals, no bananas on board, mate.

It's bad luck.

Thud!

- Whoa! - What was that?

- Toobs? A kid...

I think we hit a kid. - Go!

- There she is, boys. Your home for 12 days.

Yeah!

- Toobsy!

- What happened?

- Yeah, they've had an accident.

They hit a goat.

He's saying it's the skipper's fault,

and he wants Joe to go with him, but he's not biting.

- Tried to give him money, eh?

- Not about the money, mate. Superstition, you know.

An eye for an eye. Bye-bye, bananas.

- Oh, gee.

- Thank you. - Sorry.

- Thank god you're here, bull.

- Good boy, Grummy.

- Toobsy!

- How you doing, mate? - Cheers, mate.

- Toobsy. I'm Archie.

- You're the fella I've been emailing, yeah?

- Yeah. Cheers.

- Toobsy. - Bull.

- Good to see you, mate.

- Stoked you made it. - Thanks for having me.

- This is my beautiful girlfriend, Alex,

and my good friend Sam.

- Hi. - Nice to meet you.

- Rob. - Rob.

- Archie. - Hi.

- And the one and only, bull.

- Bull, it's nice to meet you.

- Yeah, nice to meet ya.

- Have I, uh, met you somewhere before or...

- Um, no, I don't... I don't think so.

- That must happen to you all the time, eh?

- Hey. Bull. - Nice to meet you.

Hey, thanks for whatever you said back there.

I mean, no one would tell us what was happening.

- Yeah. That's all right.

Different area, you know. Local knowledge and ways.

Good start to the trip, though, eh?

- Drink?

- Yeah.

- Toobsy.

What's going on, mate? You know the rules.

- Man, it was either cancel the trip

or bring the girls, you know?

Rules were made to be broken.

- Actually, Alex wants to shoot a doco

about lost legends.

She thought she might get some footage of you

if you're up for it.

- Lost legend?

What about her?

Yeah.

- You'll like her.

She's gone through a hard time.

Be good for her to be out here.

- What the fuck? It's your charter.

- Let's pull up anchor! Push on!

This is our chief engineer, Asoka.

Barry Crocker.

Hey.

Now, here's the charge.

We're 12 days out here.

It's a long time if you're not used to boats.

A couple of simple pieces of advice:

We're all gonna have a great time,

but there's one thing that can blow it,

and that's where one dickhead ruins it for the whole team.

My advice is, don't be that dickhead.

- What? - Secondly...

Out on the open sea,

there are certain protocols that we must follow.

I am the captain,

and although I'm very willing

to listen to your suggestions and comments,

at the end of the day, this is a ship,

not a democracy.

The final decision is mine, no ifs or buts.

Off you go, Asoka. Go to work.

Let me show you the kitchen and the wheelhouse down here.

- Sam, after you.

- Oh, no, it's fine.

- No, no, no, I insist.

- No need to be a gentleman.

- All right. No perving.

Perving at what?

- These.

- This is Ibbie at the wheel.

How do you like these shirts? I just got 'em.

Classy, eh?

The wheel, right.

Yeah, we turn that way, it goes that way.

Turn that way, it goes that way too, eh?

Throttle makes you go faster or slower.

G.p.s. Tells us where to go.

- I thought that was my job.

- Ha-ha. Right.

Feel free to show me those secret breaks, mate.

- Oh, if you're lucky.

- Mate, don't we have to say good-bye

to the coast guard or some shit?

If we break down out here,

we have to get ourselves out of trouble.

There it is.

12 hours offshore,

right in the middle of nothing.

Settling the first night here.

Tomorrow night, we'll cross the line

and sail into paradise.

- What?

- Sorry, Archie.

- There's room for all of us.

- Four's a crowd, kid.

- Three's a crowd.

Four's a foursome.

Nice try, Grum.

- Tough being the odd man out, eh, Grum?

- Yeah.

Don't... don't trust baggage handlers, eh?

- You never trust anyone when you travel.

And don't sweat it, Grummy. You can share with me, mate.

- Oh, great. Yes!

Hey, there's two beds in here.

Hey, bull, can I have top bunk?

- Yeah, why not? - Sweet.

- What are the locals like out on the island?

- Locals are pretty religious, you know?

Just cover up, especially the girls.

- Hey, bull, you used to live on the island, didn't you?

- Yeah, the first time I was out here,

I hired this shitty little fishing boat

to go in search of waves,

off this bloke... nice bloke, you know, local bloke.

But he couldn't work out how I could surf all day

and not work the fish.

You know, it's his livelihood.

Anyway, after a couple of weeks,

I was starting to get the shits living on the boat, you know.

I was skanky and stinky and bilgy.

I thought I'd try my luck...

- tonight's first course.

- Oh. Ta. Ooh.

I love sushi. It's my favorite.

- Anytime.

- Ibbie, that's your job. Get up here!

- You trying to put a bloke out of a job, Rob?

- That's it.

- You know...

- Oh!

Ow.

Anyway, anyway...

Hey, I'm in the middle of me story.

Hang on. Hang on. Hang on.

- I'm filming your story. Go ahead.

- So I'm on the beach, right,

you know, having the best sleep that I had in bloody weeks,

and I wake up in the morning

to find all my gear on the sand,

and the bastard fisho had buggered off.

Could have bloody killed the prick.

But, you know, joke's on him,

because I walked around the island,

and I found the butchery.

Ali: Ooh!

- I had it solid for five weeks, and, you know,

well, the rest is history.

- Nice one. - Yeah, man.

I'll take you there.

But don't tell anyone,

or I'll have to kill ya.

With a fork.

- Can I see that?

Hey, how long you been playing that harp for?

Harmonica?

- How long do you reckon?

- A couple days.

- Taking the piss out of me, Grummy?

- No, mate. - Eh?

- No, I was just gonna say,

I should have brought my recorder

so we could start a choir.

- You having a little dig at me, Grum?

- No, man. - Eh?

No.

- You better watch yourself, mate.

- Hey, bully boy.

- Bobby.

- Hey, man. - You snaking me, Bobby?

- Yep.

- Toobs, who else do you know?

First bull, then Sam from the lucky guy clip.

How'd you find her?

- Friend of Alex's.

- Hey, guys. - Grummy.

- Have you both seen the lucky guy clip?

Anyone look familiar?

- That's Sam?

Damn. Poor girl.

- I don't do computers.

- Oh, mate.

Buy a computer and redtube it.

Sam does this strip for some boyfriend.

Off the hook.

You reckon she'd do something for Alex's camera?

- I doubt it.

- Can you blame her?

- So what happens in this video, Grummy?

- Best thing I've seen on the Internet.

Sam does this strip for some boyfriend.

Best.

- Sam from our boat?

- Yeah.

Yep.

- Well, what happens?

- Right, well, she's got some guy sitting down.

You can only see his legs, right?

She turns around. She looks at him.

She whispers in his ear,

"you are a lucky guy."

Anyway, she then turns around, stares him down,

starts undoing her top,

pulls off her bra, starts rubbing herself,

fingers even further down.

Both: Oh.

- Is that Toobs?

- Yeah.

- That was really good.

Nice style.

Yeah, he's not bad.

- No, he's not bad at all.

- Hey.

- It's a pretty messy tackle box you got there.

- You like fishing?

- Who doesn't?

- All right.

Let's bait a couple of lines.

Hey, skip.

Do you want to slow us down for a while?

We're gonna throw out a couple lures.

- It's your holiday.

Don't call me skip. I'm not a bloody kangaroo.

- Hey, Joe.

I know a little spot about ten miles from here, mate.

With this swell and wind direction,

would be about to turn on.

What do you reckon?

- I've been asked

to slow down the boat for some fishing.

- What?

- Yep, I think there's a bit more than fishing

going on back there.

- Whoa. Hey.

What are you doing?

- What does it look like I'm doing, Bobby?

It's not a fishing charter, mate.

- Yo, I paid money to be here.

- You're right.

Mate, we're in a bit of a hurry, you know?

- So what?

It'll slow us down by an hour.

What's the rush?

- Hey, bull.

Why don't you just give us half an hour,

and if we don't hook up, we'll call it quits.

- Okay.

- What's up his ass?

- Oh, he's just keen.

- Whoa. What's the chances of that?

Whoo!

Go on, take it. Take it.

- Let it run. Let it run. You're gonna lose it.

- Oh, piss off, bull. She's fine.

- Whoo!

- Let it run. Let it run.

It's not hooked.

- Oh! It's bloody hooked.

Look at the line. Look at it.

- Oh, I lost it.

- Well done, Mr. Know-it-all. Fucking hell.

- Oh, it doesn't matter.

- Yeah, well, no, obviously.

- Oh, well. Next one.

Oh...

Sailed past here 100 times,

never seen that break.

- Right tide, right window.

- Hey, bull? - Hmm?

- What's this spot called?

I reckon it's called Archie's.

Better go climb it, kid.

- Alex! Alex, get your camera!

- Get into it, Archie.

Okay, Grummy?

- Thanks a lot, son. I owe you one.

- Icing on the cake.

Oh, wow.

Hello, my friends.

- They look so free.

Oh, they're everywhere.

- Look, there's babies. Babies.

They're beautiful.

Hey, Sam.

Do you trust me?

- Yeah, of course.

Why?

- Okay, just hang on, okay?

- Do I just sit down? - Yeah, sit down.

Sit down on the anchor.

- Whoo!

- I've never seen them hang around this long before.

Don't know what you're doing to 'em.

They love you.

- Oh, I can almost touch them.

- Go on, try and touch one.

- I can't.

Whoo!

That left one touched me.

- Whoo-hoo, Sam.

They've come to say hello to you, Sam.

- Whoo!

- That was amazing.

- I told you you'd like it.

- Oh!

Shh.

Go to sleep, Grummy.

Get your hand off it.

- That's it, eh?

- That's the butchery.

- Looks pretty solid.

- So how long has it been, bull?

- About six years.

What are you guys waiting for, a written invitation?

Get the hell out there.

- Go on. - I'm out there.

- Ooh! - Ooh!

- Yee-haw!

- Hey, did you ever catch up to that fisho

who dumped you here?

- Nah.

Who knows what happened to him.

Big ocean.

- Bloody hell.

- Ooh!

- Whoo!

- Oh!

Need a hand there, mate?

Just a little bit further.

Whoo-hoo!

- Oh, hey.

Could you give us a hand to do my back?

- Yeah. Sure.

- Thanks.

I can reach my legs.

- All right.

- What did you do to your leg?

- Oh.

- You okay? - Yeah.

Just lost a bit of a fight with the reef.

- I hope you didn't start it.

Oh...

Okay, ready?

- Yeah. - This might hurt a little bit.

- Yeah, it might.

Oh! Ow!

- Just one more.

- Oi! Go away, Toobs.

Really burns.

- Little souvenir from the butchery, eh, Bobby?

- It burns.

- Had a couple of hematoma, I'll tell you.

- Don't be a girl.

- Fuck off! It hurts.

- That is really sad, dude.

- I think you left a pip in there.

No, that's good for you.

- Go away!

- Uh...

- Oh, my god.

You're gonna sprout a lime tree.

- That is a bit disgusting.

- Okay, I'll do one more.

Okay, that's enough. - Are you serious?

- Thank you. Thank you. That's great.

- I wasn't... I'm not even...

- Poor man.

- What happened?

- I don't know.

- Hey, guys?

- Oh.

How you doing?

- Hey, any of you tourists want to buy a boat?

- Where'd you get that from?

- This is what a million rupiah will buy you.

- What are you gonna do with it?

- I'm gonna take it home,

and I'm gonna give it to my dad.

- Customs are gonna love you.

- Hey, bull.

Bull, someone on the island said he remembers ya.

- Yeah, right.

- Oh, no, no. He could actually.

Let's go in. Then I can film the reunion.

- Maybe later, eh?

- Oh, get lost.

- Where did that tosser come from?

- He's cool.

This dude's been here for months.

- What a tool.

Looks like someone was trying to steal your act, bull.

- It's not even half funny, Bobby.

Don't even think about it, kook.

- Got yourself a doppelganger, man.

- Ooh. That was impressive.

- Come on, bull.

You gonna show us who really owns the butchery?

- It's not an issue. Come on, boys.

- Right behind ya.

Oi.

Have you got any sunblock on your back?

- Yeah, fuck off.

Fucking come on!

- Oi!

- Hey.

- Whoo! - Give us a wave!

- Here you go, bull.

- This one's mine.

- Yours mate. He's got it!

- Hey. - Oi!

Looks like he's climbing it to me.

- Piss off.

- Here he comes, bull.

You tell him, mate.

- What's going on over there?

- Um...

Can't quite see,

but it looks like bull is having a go at him.

- Piss off.

- Doesn't seriously believe his own bullshit, does he?

- You know the meaning of respect, fella?

You speak English? - No.

- Fuckin' dickhead. Eh?

Come on, mate. Come on.

Want to have a go at the bull?

Go on.

- Jesus, bull.

- This is my fucking wave!

This is my fucking wave!

- That's right, bull. Nice.

Nice work, son.

- Piss off, idiot!

- That all you got in you?

That's it? You're gonna let him go, huh?

- Settle down, Bobby.

- Well, go on then, mate.

You show him who owns the butchery.

- Hey, ponce.

Hey, ponce, come here.

- Hey, come here!

What's your problem, mate?

- Idiot.

- Eh?

What, you're all fucking bark out in the surf,

aren't ya, mate?

Eh?

- Eh? All right?

It's all right, mate.

Come on, shake me hand.

Come on, mate. It's all good.

Shake me hand. Come on.

Here you go. Come on.

Ya fucking dickhead.

Fuck you.

- Yow!

- You fucking disrespectful...

Ooh.

- Bull.

Hey, bull!

- Serves you fucking right, mate?

- Hey, take it easy.

Am I bleeding, Bobby?

Eh?

My fucking wave.

- Come on, man. Take it easy.

He's had enough.

What a fucking...

- What happened?

What did he say to you?

- He was being a smart-ass.

- Well, you might want to keep your head out of the water

for a while.

- I reckon I could find something else to do.

Hey.

You don't muck around, do you, champ, eh?

One less to deal with out there, eh?

What's he doing?

- Oh. - Jesus.

My god. This is not good.

- He's fucking out of control.

- Fucking idiot.

- Oh, Jesus.

- That's it, bloke. Innit?

- Guys, that's enough. Please.

- Come on, Sam.

You got to fight for what you believe in.

- I've seen enough.

- What the fuck are you talking about, Bobby?

You started it.

You see this?

This is honor.

- Yeah, well, imagine if your mum saw that.

- Oh, yeah, right. Of course, yeah.

You can talk, computer girl.

- That's not funny.

- Oh, let's all have a little hissy and run away.

Shall we?

I wasn't getting it out for bloody a million people, was I?

I was fighting for what's fucking mine.

Fucking soft cock.

- I wouldn't want to fight you, bull.

- Might have to, Toobsy.

Fact.

- Hey.

- Hey.

You okay?

You didn't make a mistake.

He did. He's a fool.

- Over a million hits, apparently.

Asshole.

- What you did was, well, beautiful.

And he betrayed you.

- No one's ever seen it that way.

- He should have kept it to himself.

- That was the intention.

Just wish we could get off this boat for a while.

- Maybe we can.

Come with me.

- What do you reckon? Should we watch it again?

Huh? Yeah? Toobsy?

Whack it back on, eh?

How does this fucking thing work?

Eh? What do I press?

- Oi!

- Oh, this is nice.

That's your woman, isn't it?

She's got the fucking doco made, hasn't she?

Oh, nice right in there, he is.

Look at him, fucking cocksucker.

Didn't fucking do him any good, did it?

Look at him.

He was quite a bleeder too.

- He doesn't seriously believe his own bullshit, does he?

He doesn't seriously believe his own bullshit, does he?

- Hmm.

Where have you been, young lady?

- Don't worry...

Couldn't hear anything out the window.

- Oh, stop it. - Couldn't see a thing.

Baby...

Stop it!

- I was fucking gutted.

I was a zombie.

I didn't get out of bed for about a week.

- You know what the cure is, Grummy?

- What?

- You got to learn to fucking hate 'em.

Hey, Rob.

How was she?

Hey, Sam.

I'm sorry.

- I'm fine. We're good, really.

- Now, I'm telling you, Toobs,

he definitely thought he was in, ah?

- As if there was ever any competition.

- Fellas. How was it?

- Eh. Not too shabby.

- Yeah?

You guys haven't seen my harp, have you?

- Where'd you have it last?

- Just up on the deck.

- Why would we know?

- Anybody seen bull's harp?

- Yeah, it might have fallen overboard.

- What's the fucking holdup?

In you go.

- Oh, mate, it was just a bit of a joke, eh?

- No one's laughing, Bobby.

- Hey, bull! I got it!

- Hey, Rob!

You coming out or what?

- No, mate.

I'll see you soon, though.

- Whoo!

- He's a fast mover.

- Well, that felt funny.

Have you got sea legs?

- A little bit.

Oh!

- Whoo-hoo!

- I'll be back soon.

- Better be.

- Hey.

- Couldn't stay away, huh?

I think I'm getting burned.

- What are doing? What did you do?

- Settle down, Bobby. Just relax, mate.

- I fuckin' saw you! - She started it.

- You are an animal.

- Go on, ask her.

- You okay? - I didn't know it was him!

I swear!

- Asoka, we got a problem.

- You won't need your knife. I'll handle it.

Ibbie, get the dinghy.

- What's going on?

- Hey, just settle down, Bobby boy.

Hey.

Want to have a go, mate?

Start one. Start one.

- He's fucking psycho.

- Huh? I tried to rape her?

- Fuck you!

- He tried to fucking rape her!

- Didn't try to rape her.

You don't know what happened. - Back off!

- Just keep him the fuck away from me!

- You! Back off!

Let's sort this out. - Come on, Bobby!

- Hey! - Back off!

- Have a go at the bull, eh, Bobby?

Let me go! Let me go!

- Settle down!

- All right, Joe. I'm cool. I'm cool.

- Settle down. - I'm cool, Joe. I'm cool.

- Fuck you! - Hey! Back off!

- Bull, either you violated Samantha or you didn't.

If you did, you fucked it for everybody.

If he didn't, let's just call it a misunderstanding.

- Oh, this is bullshit!

- What do you want to do?

The nearest cop is 200 miles away,

and he wouldn't give a flying rat's ass

about a bunch of tourists.

Let's all get back on the boat,

talk to Samantha, and sort this out.

Get on the boat now!

- You're fucking kidding me.

- Now!

- Your fucking fault, Toobsy. - Shut up!

- What did I tell ya? What did I tell ya, mate?

What did I say about bringing chicks along, eh?

- Shut up!

- Hey, Bobby, what are you doing?

- Get on the boat! - Hey, come on.

What's going on? I'm coming, Joe.

Settle down, mate.

- Go! - Bobby. Mate.

I just come in here. I was doing me own thing.

She asked for a rubdown.

She's that type of chick.

What's a bloke supposed to do?

Come on, Bobby. Share the love, mate.

What's the go?

- What's going on?

- All right, stop, honey.

Just tell me what's happened.

- He attacked me. - Who?

- Bull. I thought it was Rob.

His fingers were inside me.

No, Alex! Please!

Just don't let him near me!

Oh!

- You're disgusting.

- He violated her!

- Yeah, well, that's hard to prove.

- Sorry, this is bullshit.

The guy is an animal.

He deserves to be castrated.

Should leave him on the beach.

- I think that's a bad idea.

- If we can't sort this out,

I'm turning the boat around for the mainland.

- Good. Let's go.

- We've got to talk this through with Samantha.

Rob, come with me.

Come on, now.

You did good today, Archie.

- Bull, there's...

There's some talk of turning around

if things with you and Sam don't sort themselves out.

- That'd be rot.

Don't worry about it, Archie.

I'll sort her out, mate.

Okay?

Okay?

- Yeah. Yep.

- Baby...

What if this had happened to me? What would you do?

What if this was your sister?

- Well, it isn't you, and I don't have a sister.

- Toobs, that's not funny.

- I don't know what's happened yet.

Just give them the chance to work it out,

find out what's going on.

- Her struggling doesn't make it a crime, so...

- Hysterical... If I hadn't went up there,

who knows what would have happened.

- Sam.

Sam...

Can we talk about this?

Just open up so we can sort this out.

Sam...

I think you're blowing this out of proportion.

Sam?

Ah!

He's gonna break the door down!

- Sam, I was just trying to fucking apologize!

- He tried to attack me again!

He tried to get in my room!

- Keep him away!

- Do you now believe her?

- Look at you, Joe!

I'm all right, mate! No need to get...

- fucking psycho.

- He tried to attack me!

- Move it. - All right. Where we going?

I can't see a fucking thing, Joe.

Is that you, Bobby? You wanna have a crack?

I was just trying to apologize to her!

- Get in there.

- She's that kind of girl, Joe. That's all I'm saying.

I can't fucking see, mate.

- Get on that.

- What, are you making me walk the plank, Joe?

- Get on that.

- Oi, Bobby, she's hot-blooded, this one.

Where are ya, Bobby? Hey!

Oh, yeah, she's good, that one.

You'll have a bit of fun, Bobby boy.

- Fuck off, bull.

- Why don't you come down here and say that, Bobby?

- Have a nice sleep out there, mate.

- Sorry, but I can't fucking see, mate, eh?

And you, Grummy, you're all right, mate.

You stay there. Thank you, buddy.

- All right. That's enough.

- We're all right, Joe.

Hey, bon voyage, eh?

You fuckers!

Hey, Bobby, you want to have a fucking go at the bull?

I'll really beat ya, fucker!

You look at you, you soft cock!

You're all fucking bark,

and you're no fucking bite!

Come on, Bobby boy!

Fuck you! Fuck you!

- I don't know what's going on with you.

You've got a whole island to yourself to sort it out.

A big ape like you might enjoy a night on the beach.

See you in the morning.

- No, thanks, Joe.

Thanks for looking after me, mate!

Thank you! That's great!

No mozzies out here!

I'm in bloody paradise, I am!

Look at this.

I'll shake out me towel.

I'll get meself a fucking tan.

Oh, that's lovely, that is. Eh?

Much better, Joe! Well done, mate.

Good solution!

Yeah, man, I'll enjoy. Enjoy.

Put up the sails, lean over the bow,

dangling your little toes in the water.

Hey, maybe we'll get some dolphin, Sam!

Hey, maybe we'll get some dolphin!

- Hey.

It's gonna be okay.

- And what if he tries to swim back?

- There's no chance.

The tides, they come in and out of these atolls like a river.

He'd be washed out to sea.

He's not that stupid.

- Don't let him back on the boat.

- That's not gonna happen.

- Just don't.

- I promise you, you're safe.

- You're missing out on something, Sam, let me tell you.

You're missing out on a whole fucking lot of it,

you little whore.

Jesus Christ.

I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that.

That's just nasty.

You know, that's just nasty talk.

I like ya. I like ya.

We had a moment.

Tell me we didn't, and I'll walk away.

My mistake.

I'll wear it like a fucking Velour V-neck cardigan.

Tell me I'm wrong!

Come back and get the bull.

Come back and get the bull.

I am sorry, you guys.

- Hit it pretty hard, poor kid.

- Reckon he's calmed down?

- Better luck he's caught malaria.

- Ugh.

- Not really.

- Morning.

How are you feeling?

- Thanks, but I have to sort this out myself.

- Yeah. Sure.

That's good.

- When we get back,

we'll head to the mainland.

- Good.

Thud!

- Toobs!

Toobs!

Toobs!

No!

Look out!

No!

- Toobsy, mate, where are you going?

- Oh, that was never proven.

Piece of shit.

- Jesus, Toobs, don't you knock?

How?

- I don't know.

I think he fucking swam.

- What?

Are we moving?

Are we moving?

- The skipper will never be able to catch us.

- Can you see the zodiac? - No.

I can't see the zodiac.

- Well, the zodiac goes faster than the boat, okay,

so the skipper's still gonna make it here,

and everything's gonna be fine,

so we just need to keep calm.

- Bull!

- Hey, boss, the boat is moving.

- What? - The boat is moving.

- Yo, Bobby!

Hey, you missed the boat, mate.

Have a little bit of that, Bobby boy.

Hey, how does that feel?

- Move it! Move it! Come on!

- I'll get you, you fucker!

Skipper's here!

Stop my boat!

You fucked up, bull,

you washed-up turd!

- Hey, Joe. Hey.

Stop my boat!

I'm warning you!

- Hey, how's your democracy going now, you big ape?

- You are messing with the wrong guy this time, you idiot.

- Double bunger.

- Stop my boat!

- Ah, but wait, there's more!

- Yeah, throw whatever you got.

It's not gonna stop me from getting you!

- Hey, Joe!

Where you going with an ax in your head?

- Hey, Asoka.

Did you forget something? Eh?

Here you go.

Eh? Can't quite hear you, mate.

- Is that all you got?

- Ah, no, sorry.

- Oh!

- All gone, Joe. All gone.

- You'll pay for this, bull!

- Oh, you're getting closer.

Oh.

- Catch up to him.

- Oh.

Rope around the prop.

Hey, how about that?

- Fuck it! - Oh, that's a tragedy.

Toodle-oo, Joe.

- You're fucking kidding! God damn it!

Fuck!

- Oh, Bobby.

You silly bugger, Bobby.

Hey, you silly bugger.

What, are you gonna have a go at the bull, are you?

Oh, what, your balls have dropped, have they, mate?

You're gonna have another go? Come on, mate.

I'll give you first punch, mate. Have first punch.

Have a go. Have a go.

Ow. Bobby.

That nearly hurt.

- Back off. - Back off?

I'm not going anywhere, Bobby. Don't be silly.

Come on. Have another go.

Ooh. Oh!

Oh, shit.

Hey, ouch.

Call my mom. Eh?

Oh, come on, Bobby, you can do better than that.

Keep your guard up, mate.

- Don't mess with me.

- Keep 'em up, mate. Keep 'em up!

You stupid bastard.

Go on, have another go, Bobby.

Come on, mate. Have another go.

What are you gonna do this time?

Come on, Bobby, have a go!

Have a go!

Hey? Bobby?

You think about this, all right?

Is that it?

Hey, is that it?

I got a little surprise for you, Bobby.

A little surprise.

Come with me.

- Why did you invite him?

- Well, did I know any of this shit was gonna happen?

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

It's my fault. I fucked up.

I'm sorry, Sam.

- No.

He's just angry.

He's angry, right?

What the fuck is he doing here?

- I'm gonna go and talk to him.

- You okay? - Yep.

- Lock the door.

- Now, Bobby, in fishing terms,

you're what we call the bait.

- All right, stop, bull.

Just stop, yeah?

- Stop? Stop the boat?

And drop the anchor? Is that what you want me to do?

- No. - Eh?

'Cause, you know, bit of trouble, you know?

- Please stop.

- Doing all right, Bobby? Eh? All right?

- Bull. - Toobs.

Help.

- Oh, shut up, you Metro-fucking-sexual.

- Can we talk about this, please, mate?

- I think it's a little bit late for that, Toobsy.

- Ugh! - Sam!

Sam, out you come!

- She's not coming out.

- Toobsy, don't worry, mate.

I'm not gonna kill him. Okay?

Just gonna finish up what she started,

then everything will be rosy.

All right?

- You silly bugger!

It really hurts, all of that.

Get up here!

I don't have a problem with you, okay, Toobsy?

But listen, why don't you tottle off back downstairs...

- Ah! Ah! Ah!

- Thanks, Toobsy.

- It's me.

- Oh, my god.

- He just wants Sam.

- Well, that's not gonna happen, so...

- I'm so sorry, guys.

- No, Sam, this is not your fault.

Look, we just have to get off this boat.

- What if we can get to Archie's canoe?

- Great.

- We've been traveling for hours out to sea.

Where are you gonna go?

- Well, we'll go anywhere.

We'll just... we'll get off the boat

when it's dark.

Yeah?

- I can't leave Rob.

- Oi, you're back.

- Of course I'm back, Archie.

- How?

- You let the ocean work for you.

Huh?

Pulls you in and then pulls you back out.

Silly buggers.

They left me bored on the beach.

- Where is everyone?

- Toobsy and the girls are just relaxing.

Bobby's hanging around.

- And skip?

Skippy...

- Probably just dropped in on someone.

You have a big night, Grummy?

- Nah.

- They all yours?

- Yeah.

Look at ya.

Hey, want to do me a favor?

Come take the wheel.

Not too drunk, are you?

- No. - Good boy.

You look like you're getting

a little bit of sun there, Bobby.

You need a bit of protection.

Here, let me do your back for you, mate.

That feel good? I know it does.

Bloody safe now, aren't you? Eh?

I'd hate to have anything happen to you, Bobby.

Come on, Archie.

What are you doing, mate?

- Look, I was thinking, maybe if you...

- Archie, mate, I was thinking that maybe you should do

what I asked you to do,

which was clean up the table, please, mate.

You made that mess.

What, are you getting drunk again, are you?

- I'm not getting drunk, mate. I'm just trying to clean up.

- Where are all the sharp knives?

Hey?

- Bull, it's not too late to go back.

- Come on, mate.

You saw how she played us all, eh?

- What happened on the beach?

- A little fight.

It's like that, Grummy.

Now, I've seen it on the cooking shows...

Take all the flesh out, clean it all up,

whack it back in.

Bloody marvelous.

Grum. Want to taste some?

- No. - No?

It's sashimi.

Sam's favorite.

Make sure I get all the scales out, though.

Eh? That's the key.

She's gonna love it, isn't she?

Oh, look at that.

Sashimi aplenty.

Hey, Bobby.

You know I said I would hate anything to happen to you.

Oh, I was bullshitting.

- No! No! Stop!

You silly bugger!

Bobby, you can't go up and over, Bobby!

- Oh!

- Grab here, mate.

Let me come over. Come on, I'll give you a hand.

Jumped the queue, mate.

Eh?

You little snake.

You know the rules.

Rules of the water.

Bingo.

I've made us dinner. So...

Come on.

All right.

And, Sam, you can leave the bug spray behind this time.

My little joke.

I'd hate for this to, you know, get spoiled, so...

Come on.

Oh.

What a pleasant surprise.

Now, as you'll see, I run a very tight ship.

Except for you, Sam.

Now, our little friend here... Eh, there he is.

Look at him, enjoying the sunset.

He's gonna stay right where he is.

Okay?

If there's any sign of mutiny, well...

- Ah! - Toobs!

- Come on, let's eat. Alex?

Come on, let's go.

Toobsy, what are you doing, mate?

What are you doing?

- Help.

Hey.

Let's make this special. This is gonna be nice.

Now, everybody's got a little name tag.

Toobsy, I think you're over there, mate.

Go and have a little squeeze at your card, name card.

Look at this, eh?

Class, Archie.

Look at this, Sam. Hmm?

I know, a little surprise for you.

Well, now, Sam,

I know that you love sashimi, so...

Hmm? Hmm?

Have a bit of bloody sashimi.

Look at that. Eh?

Eh, isn't this nice?

Huh? Candles?

Hey, Alex,

I had no idea that you were such a good doco maker.

Hmm? Be proud of her, Toobsy.

I particularly liked one little sequence that you had.

- Fuck!

- Is that you, Toobsy? Eh?

Recognize that? Hey?

Look at that.

That's bloody wild. Listen to that.

That's hot, that is.

Eh, look at that. Eh?

Have a look, Sam.

Look at that. Yeah.

Grummy, have a look, mate. Have a look.

She's very talented.

You're very talented.

Lover.

Listen to that. Hmm?

What, did you think you were alone?

Hey, Alex...

You love Toobs?

- You've got to stop this.

- Sorry, did I ask you to speak, Toobs?

Did I?

I'll tell you what, mate.

How about, um,

you shut the fuck up, okay?

I swear to god, you shut the fuck up

because I will fuck you up.

Show me, then.

- What? - Come on.

Give him a kiss.

Come on. Come on.

Come here. Come here.

Look out. Look out, big fella, eh?

Hey, come here. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Kiss him. On the lips.

On the lips. On the lips, lips, lips.

That's nice, that is. That's nice.

There you go. Eh?

Beautiful.

Hey? Oh...

That's bloody lovely, that is.

Eh? Eh?

Got to love a double date, don't you?

Hmm?

Look at those two. Sam, look at those two.

Hmm? Look at them. Look at them.

Hey, get a bloody room. Get a room, you two.

Hey, Sam,

I know we've only been together a couple of days...

The party's just begun.

You don't want to go home yet, do you?

Eh?

Do you, Sam?

You know, there are certain lessons in life

that everyone has to learn.

This is your one.

Bobby will get over it.

Oh, shit.

Bobby.

Hey, Bobby baby!

You all right down there, buddy?

Hey, no, what the fucking hell are you doing, Toobs?

Sit the fuck down!

Shut up and sit down!

Sorry, mate.

Just getting a little bit carried away in here.

But hang in there!

Eh?

Hang in there.

Having a little joke.

Come on.

Eh?

- Hey, Alex.

You know what would be romantic?

You could shoot us at it. Huh?

Be a good bit for the doco.

You see, that's what surf vids are lacking these days, I think.

A little bit of bloody depth.

- How about...

How about we do a little bit of something now?

Like, you just...

We could do a bit of it, an intro sort of, you know?

We could do a bit of one-on-one, but you have to sit over here,

and then I can...

I could get a single of you,

and we can do a bit of... An interview?

How do you feel about that?

- Great. Great.

Here you go.

This is why... eh?

Here's your camera here. Yep.

What are you like, bloody... Bloody Parkinson?

Eh?

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is the bull.

Come on down.

Let's do it.

How do I look, Grummy?

Grummy? Archie? How do I look?

- Good. - Good?

Hey, Sam. Sam. Sam.

How do I look?

Okay?

- What makes bull the legend?

- What kind of a silly question is that?

You can't ask me. I can't answer that.

I'm gonna sound like a bloody wanker.

- No, you won't.

- You've got ask somebody else.

Ask Archie. Ask the Grum.

Archie?

- I don't know.

Surfing stuff.

- Yeah, and?

That was hopeless, mate. That was hopeless.

- Have you won...

You must have won heaps of competitions, right?

- No.

- What do you mean?

- I don't compete, Alex.

- So you've never won.

- No.

Heck... oh, does...

You can't lose if there's no bloody competition.

- Do you have many friends, bull?

- I've got fucking heaps of friends.

Look around.

- Fuck, man, what do you want from us?

- I get upset, Alex.

I don't want anything from us.

It's not from us. Okay?

I just want Sam.

Hey, Sam.

Would you trust me?

- Alex, get your camera.

Come on, Alex. Come on.

Come on, sweetheart.

I'll grow a fucking beard waiting for you.

Come on. Come on. I want you to come over here.

There. Stand there.

You cover it from there, okay?

Grummy, come here, mate.

Archie, good boy. You stand here.

You can be my codirector.

All right, that's great.

Sam, come on, sweetheart. Come on.

It's all right. It's all right.

Come on. Come on, Sam.

Come on. Come on.

Come with me. Come on over here.

Over here. Over here.

Over here.

You just stand right there.

That's... That's...

Press bloody record, Alex.

Now, Sam,

I want you to make me a video.

What do we got here?

Oh, that's nice.

That'll set the mood.

Making it easier.

All right, Archie.

You tell her what she has to do, mate.

- What?

- Tell her what she has to do.

You've seen the video

- bull, please, you can't make me say that.

- Come on, mate, please.

What does she do in the video? You explained it to me.

What does she do?

- You can't be serious. I'm not talking about...

- come on, Archie! What are you doing, mate?

You've told me. Just tell... tell her what to do!

- She takes her top off first.

- Do better than that, Archie.

You know, she's rubbing her tits and all over the guy

and, ahh, sexy.

- I'm not saying any more.

- Is that it, is it? - Yeah.

- Ah... Come on, Sam.

You know what to do.

- Bull, please. Come on.

- Don't make me drown the prick.

You don't want that on your conscience.

Come on.

And make it nice.

Lordy, that look in your eye.

Jesus.

Grummy, what do you reckon of that, mate?

Oh, what's that about?

Don't! Don't!

Don't ruin this for me!

Stay there!

- Ugh! Ugh!

- Come on, Sam. Where are you going?

- Bull!

- No!

- Go, Sam!

- Go, Sam!

Oh!

- This is how it's gonna be?

Is this how it's gonna be?

- Ah!

- Oh, Alex.

You and me, we can play later.

But one thing at a time, okay?

Ah!

Ah!

Love a girl who plays hard to get, Sam.

Makin' it too easy, Sam.

Where are you going?

Hey, where are you going?

- Where are you going? Hey?

Come on, sweetheart.

- Toobs!

- Come on, let's just finish this.

Sammy, come on.

Hey. Hey.

Oh, Toobsy.

You look a little worked up there, mate.

Bobby, where did you come from?

Oh, come on, fellas. Come on.

All this fuss over one little cunt.

- Oh!

- Just finish him!

- Sam.

Crack!

- I owe you one.

- No, you don't.

- Sam, how are you doing?

- I'm gonna be fine.

- It's gonna take a long time to get back.

- And then what will happen to him?

- Probably nothing.

He has to be tried here.

He can't be tried at home.

- Toobs.

What?

Sam.

Sam!

Sam!

Sam!

You knew it was me on the beach.