Original subtitles

(kisses) Good morning.

Am I in your bed?

Mm-hmm.

Are we back together?

Mm-hmm.

Mm. Good.

Hmm...

Mm-hmm.

KELLY: Brandon, I have to go.

BRANDON: Come on, come on, Kel.

No, I can't!

You can, yes, you can.

Come on, it's early.

(Kelly complaining indistinctly)

You're gonna be late. (laughing)

(Brandon and Kelly arguing indistinctly)

Oh, really? (Kelly giggling)

Right there? Is that the spot? Yeah.

Right there? Oh, yeah.

Happy days are here again.

Speak for yourself.

I was talking about Brandon.

Oh, him.

Him.

Your buddy, your pal, your housemate.

You should be happy for him.

Steve, sleeping--

that's what I should be.

You need to take a deep breath.

(sniffs) You smell that?

Love is in the air, Valerie.

Carbon monoxide... toxic fumes...

That's Kelly.

Good morning, Steve.

Good morning, Val.

See you later.

Oh, right. You're coming back.

Get used to it.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Hey, roomies!

Hey, I'm Clare Arnold.

This is Donna Martin.

Is that your way of saying you miss me?

Absolutely.

So, where are you headed?

Business library.

Researching prices of textiles

in the Asian market.

What, is that for your Business of Fashion class?

Yeah, that'd be my class from hell.

Did Calvin Klein really need to know these things

to become a successful designer?

Actually, yeah.

Oh, I hope you had a big lunch.

If not, have one now. Why?

Because, for dinner, we're having "wabbit" food,

in a bond of sisterhood with the women gymnasts.

Yep, celery, carrots,

maybe a little bit of chocolate,

if you execute a perfect somersault.

The gymnastics championships are on TV tonight?

Yeah, it's "Girls' Night In."

You didn't forget. Did you?

I completely forgot.

I'm sorry, I already made

plans with Brandon for tonight.

No, it's okay, you can cancel.

Oh, I knew you'd understand. Thanks.

I meant with Brandon.

DONNA: We do.

We understand, don't we, Clare?

Yeah, it's fine.

I'll make it up to you.

I have to run. See ya.

Bye. Bye.

Wait, I mean, you do understand, right?

Dropping everything for a guy?

Whatever.

STEVE: I can't believe we bought

cruelty-free shampoo.

And tofu. But don't worry, nobody saw us.

How does Kelly eat that stuff?

You don't eat it, do you?

No, no, God, no. Good.

Oh, I forgot-- my dad left me Laker game tickets.

You want to go?

I can't, I got plans with Kel.

Oh, we're still on for tomorrow, right?

The auto show?

Muscle-car mania? Yeah!

Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely! Silver's coming, right?

Yeah.

You want to invite Kelly?

I think she'll pass.

Just, uh, just offering.

I don't want that ball and chain

to drag you into the "Abyss of Love."

Nobody called in sick.

You can take the night off if you want.

I can handle it.

Well, I would if I had anything to do.

Bit of a dry spell

on the dating scene?

August in Death Valley, yes.

Hi. Hey. Hey.

How'd that quiz go?

Oh... (scoffs)

Professor Langely scored another hit, huh?

You know, this is the hardest course I've ever taken.

I don't even know why I took it.

Don't worry about it.

It's Friday night.

We're gonna have fun, right?

Yeah.

What's going on?

CLARE: It's, um, "Girls' Night In."

It's this elaborate,

apartment time-honored tradition.

Well, honored by most.

You're not still mad.

Is Kelly still blowing us off?

Well, then, I'm still mad.

So, uh,

Kelly blew you off, huh?

That's too bad.

Um, what is she missing?

The gymnastics championships on TV.

Oh, that's right! Uh, David,

you know what, you can have the club

all to yourself tonight. I can't miss this.

Cool, thanks.

Bye, bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye.

You like gymnastics?

Uh, Varsity team in high school.

I love the championships.

Now the big question is where I'm gonna watch it.

Brandon and Kelly have taken over the house.

Why don't you watch it with us? Oh, I'd love to.

Okay, um, be over at 7:00?

I'll be there.

Okay.

Hello? Anybody home?

Valerie?

BRANDON: Kelly? You here?

Yeah, I'm up here.

In Valerie's room.

Hey, babe, sorry,

I got held up at the TV station.

I thought you were done there. I am now.

I handed off the keys to the new station manager.

Met next year's anchor.

What are you doing in here?

Snooping.

But I stopped myself.

That's good, I guess.

Well, the window was open.

And some of Valerie's papers were on the floor.

Why doesn't she have any pictures

of her family up?

They're not that close.

Well, she has you and Steve.

I guess it's good she has somebody.

Hey, why don't

we make dinner tomorrow night for everybody?

Even Valerie?

There's been a rumor going around that we've

forgotten all about our friends.

Really? Mm-hmm.

I don't know how that started.

Ah, ooh, okay, stop.

Not here, come on. Okay.

(all laughing)

Donna, you're up!

Nice! Good form! All right!

Well, guys, I know we're on a very tight training menu,

but I brought champagne.

Is it allowed?

Yeah, yeah! Models drink it.

Why not?

There you go.

(gasping)

Well, what shall we toast to?

Uh, that we hit our acrobatic prime

before we were 11.

And to Valerie.

Welcome! Thank you.

Let the games begin.

Yes. (chuckling)

Here you go! Thank you!

Whoo! (giggling)

We mute the pre-competition commentary.

Yep, as judges, we can't be biased.

Wait, we're judges?

Yeah, oh, we need another marker.

Oh, where is it? I'll go find it.

Uh, in Kelly's room on the desk.

Okay.

(giggling)

Oh, oh! Wait.

Hmm, what do we have in here?

DONNA: Val, did you find them?

Uh, yeah, I'm looking.

CLARE: Hurry up!

It's starting! Yeah, yeah,

I got 'em.

Got it.

Am I really past my acrobatic prime?

Afraid so.

Don't tell Steve.

Do you guys want some more champagne?

No, I'm fine.

Not just yet.

Okay, more for me.

Drink up.

All right.

CLARE: Oh, yeah.

Hey. What are you doing?

I'm just gonna check the basketball score.

I'll just be a second, I swear.

Man, look at that, look at that.

How do they do that?

Unbelievable.

Did I ever tell you I don't even like gymnastics?

I don't think I'll ever feel the same way about you.

How do you feel, exactly?

I'd have to say, um, pretty good.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Good. Me too. Good, yeah.

But I do feel kind of guilty

about bailing on "Girls' Night."

But it's passing.

Good.

Hey, look over there.

What? That's not funny. What about the score?

What about it?

(Brandon sighs) Oh, my God, I don't believe it.

Neither do I.

You actually like puppets?

I love puppets.

Did he just

bite the other one's nose?

(laughs) Uh-huh. That's not cool.

Could you maybe, uh,

explain to me why you find this entertaining?

It reminds me of The Magic Morton Hour.

Magic Morton? Magic Morton.

You never watched Magic Morton?

No.

He was this magician

who would introduce each puppet skit

with the wave of his magic wand.

Mm. A whole hour of puppets?

That's fascinating.

It was my favorite show when I was little.

Sorry.

I thought

Magic Morton could make anything happen.

You could send away for one of his magic wands.

I wanted one so bad. Really?

And what were you going to do with that magic wand?

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more.

I was going to wave it over my mom and dad

and make them love each other.

That's very sweet.

I was too little,

so I asked my dad to send away for it.

The wand never showed up.

He said it probably got lost in the mail,

but knowing him, he probably never sent the letter.

You know what?

I'm gonna try to get you one of those wands.

Brandon, that's impossible.

The show's been off the air for years.

Yeah, I know, but I've got a few ideas

on where I could track one down.

Trust me.

You know something?

I do.

Nice...

(crickets chirping, waves crashing)

DONNA: This last move is critical.

VALERIE: Mm, you are so right, Donna.

If Clare Arnold can pull off

the next four consecutive maneuvers,

she can set a record and take the competition.

Mm. The tension is mounting.

(imitates starting buzzer)

(Valerie hums dramatic fanfare)

Oh! DONNA: Oh!

Oh! (laughs)

No fair. Your commentary made me nervous.

Mm-hmm. Right.

(laughs)

One point seven, Val? (laughs)

You're not even gonna give me a point for form?

Sorry. That's the way we call them in Uzbekistan.

DONNA: Mm.

I liked the champagne.

It was good.

Ooh!

Yeah, I think it liked me, too.

Yeah. Hey, now, you're not driving.

Uh, yeah. No.

I'm just, uh... I'm just gonna call a cab.

No, Val. Val...

You're staying here tonight, okay?

Um, well, yeah, if you think it's no trouble.

Oh, no. Plenty of room. Plenty of room.

Okay. Yeah. Oh, that's right.

Kelly's not here.

Her bed's vacant.

Yeah, I'll just, um... just go in there.

Good night.

(laughs)

Oh. (laughs)

(sighs)

You think Kelly's gonna mind?

Yeah. Hmm.

But it's too late now.

What are we gonna do?

Oh, well.

Huh.

"Bill Taylor Investments."

(seagull cawing)

Hey!

And you thought

you'd never see me again.

DONNA: Kelly.

KELLY: Oh, hey.

Great. Oh, what are you...?

CLARE: Yeah. Hold on a second.

Do you want to have orange juice?

DONNA: Well, why don't you just put on some coffee and...?

CLARE: Whoa. I have to go.

(clears throat)

KELLY: Sure.

You missed a hell of a competition.

Oh, yeah? Who won?

Donna for poise and chocolate consumption.

DONNA: Hmm. Clare for agility

and vegetable layout.

KELLY: Oh.

Oh, and who won this category?

Uh, that would be me.

Hi, Kelly.

Valerie.

You're wearing my shirt.

DONNA: Uh,

Val slept here.

Here?

VALERIE: In your room.

I hope you don't mind.

CLARE: It was... It was

really late, and you know, we had champagne, so...

VALERIE: And you wouldn't have wanted me

to drive home, would you?

No, of course not.

Um, I just came to pick up some stuff

to take back to Brandon's.

Oh, okay. KELLY: I'm staying there again

tonight because I am cooking dinner, and you're invited.

Ask Steve and David, huh?

Oh, I know we're free, so...

Yeah, I'm free, and I think David is,

unless he's needed at the club.

I'll work tonight.

Can you both take the night off?

We do that sometimes.

Can you do it tonight?

'Cause Brandon...

KELLY: and I...

were really hoping that you could come.

6:30, 7:00?

Okay.

Okay.

CLARE: We're, um, going

to a 2:00 aerobics class. Do you want to come with us?

Nope. I have to go and buy all your favorite foods.

Bye.

CLARE: Bye.

Um, do you think I could join you?

That'd be great. Yeah. Okay. Sure, no problem.

(clears throat)

(waves crashing, seagull cawing in distance)

Okay. Okay, Morton!

Good for you.

Yeah. Terrific.

NAT: He wants to talk to you about your old puppet show.

Looks like Nat's coming through for you.

Does he know everybody in this town?

Yeah, and he's fed everybody, too.

Mm-hmm. NAT: Hey, Brandon!

Come on over! Magic Morton wants

to speak to you! Oh, great.

He still has some wands left. Unbelievable.

I call every nostalgia shop in town, I get nowhere.

All I got to do is come here and see you.

Hi. This is Brandon.

Nat tells me that you're a big fan of the show.

I told him you were a fan of the show.

Yeah, yeah, I'm a huge fan of the show.

And actually, I-I know someone who's actually a-a bigger fan.

Tell me, what, specifically do you love about the old show?

Well, that-that... that's hard to say.

We'll discuss our old memories when we talk this afternoon.

This afternoon?

4:00.

Nat knows the address.

Don't be late.

All right, thanks. Thank you.

(laughing)

Abracadabra.

Kelly gets her wand.

How do you do it, my friend?

Easily-- Joanie's cousin

dated this guy that did grip work on all the local shows.

Uh-huh.

I should have known. Hey, listen,

this is gonna mean a lot to Kelly; I appreciate it.

Yeah. Hey, well, listen, don't cancel on him.

He's kind of weird about that.

I mean, you know, you may not get another chance.

Okay.

Hey, B. BRANDON: Hey, guys. What's going on?

Hey, hey. DAVID: What's going on there, buddy?

What's up, man? What can I do for you?

Well, you could get me a ticket

to the zero-emissions electric future.

Oh, wait.

I've got three.

I'll take an egg sandwich.

Should I ask what, uh, he's talking about?

New electric car is on display at the Auto Museum.

See how simply information can be relayed?

One egg sandwich, coming up.

Do you mind getting that to go, bro?

No, no, but what's the rush?

I mean, the auto show's open all day, isn't it?

Yeah, I know, but

I got an appointment later. I don't want to be late.

Oh, Kelly, will spank you if you're late, right?

DAVID: Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey. Come on.

Kelly doesn't spank.

Does she?

Only when I ask her to.

Listen, I don't want to put

a clock on what we're doing,

but I really got to do this thing later.

Hey, what's more important than your buddies?

Than tricked-out muscle cars?

Than checking out the sports coupe of the future?

Here you go.

Ah. Thanks, man.

Put it on his tab, bro.

Let's go, guys.

Hey, and don't be late.

Don't be late.

(Steve imitates whip cracking)

(crowd chatter)

(sniffing)

Smell that?

Oh, it's perfume.

No! Really good perfume.

Leaded gasoline.

The high-octane stuff.

Look at this.

427... dual pumper, four barrel.

You got to be kidding me with this stuff.

This is like the primitive muscle cars here.

There's a Corvette.

Oh, a little Hemi 'Cuda over there.

Look at this bad boy.

Oh, you got to be kidding me.

This says "torque" all over it, huh?

Torque equals acceleration, Silver.

Yes, thank you.

I know that. Mm-hmm.

And since we're talking about torque

and acceleration, how are things progressing with Donna?

(laughing) Oh, shut up, Steve.

Oh, come on, I'm just trying to give you a few pointers here.

Warning: Sanders' advice often is defective

and doesn't come with a factory warranty.

Yeah, so I've heard. Great. I'm trying to help out here.

You know, get the car on the road

before the engine overheats.

Steve, I don't need any advice on sex or cars, all right?

DAVID: Thanks.

Well, how about sex in cars?

What about sex in cars? Silver?

(Steve laughing)

DAVID: Hey, here's a contest.

You can win a chance Wow.

to drive an electric car.

Hi. Whew!

Mmm! Look at this.

This thing is calling to me.

I need to drive this.

Oh, and what are the odds of that?

Bad.

Very bad.

Leave that to me.

How you doing?

Good.

My friends and I are interested in winning this contest.

Fill out the form.

Did I mention how much

we wanted to win this contest?

Well, then try your luck.

Unless you, uh, don't leave things to chance.

Exactly.

I hate leaving things to chance.

Do you suppose maybe we could turn this

into a win-win situation for you and I?

You know, I think a quick test drive could be arranged.

Why don't you meet me in the parking lot at 3:30?

I'll take care of you then.

Thank you very much. Very good.

Yes, how about a little electric car joyride?

Get out of here.

You got guts.

Gonna make a fine adult one day, Stevie.

Curse the day.

INSTRUCTOR: Okay, let's take it to the side.

(dance music playing) Come on, keep going.

Up, two more.

Let's go, two more.

Here we go.

Yeah, keep your arms up.

Come on, keep it up.

Up.

And lift up.

Up, up, up. (Clare giggling)

Up.

Come on, you can do it.

Keep going.

Great job.

Lift up, up.

Bring it down.

Take it forward.

Nice and easy.

(music stops playing) Good job.

Take it easy. (clapping, cheering)

All right.

Good job. (laughing)

No one's using the bars.

They're really uneven.

Sauna, anyone?

(phone ringing)

Hello?

Hey, babe, it's me.

Hey, how is the auto show?

Uh, it's good-- I'll tell you all about it.

I don't think I'm gonna make it home

in time to help you out, though.

Oh, that's okay-- just be home in time for dinner.

I'm making everyone's favorites.

Sounds like a lot of work.

I don't mind.

I'm having fun.

Come home soon, though, okay?

Yeah, yeah, I will, and, uh,

I may just have a surprise for you.

The wand?

You didn't.

You did? I don't know.

I'll have to wait and see.

Hey, look, my ride's here.

I'll, uh... I'll call you later.

Bye.

(sighs)

STEVE: Hey!

(Steve chuckling)

Excuse me.

Remember us?

Oh, right.

You, uh... you wanted to take a ride.

Yeah. All right.

Tell you what.

Here's the code.

You punch it in...

and you hit "run."

(paper tearing)

So cool.

Hey, what do you need for this?

Ah, forget about it.

It's, uh... it's on the house.

Whew! We will have it back in 20 minutes.

Ah, you take your time. Don't want to hold onto our licenses or anything?

No. You're on your own.

So cool.

That's weird.

Yeah, but he's a man

of the honor system, all right?

It's all about respect.

Oh, let's please hit some switches

on this thing. I'm driving.

Shotgun. Wait a second, wait a second.

This is a two-seater, okay?

What do you expect me to do?

Run alongside, like a dog?

Yeah, yeah, you can do it, Steve.

Come on, boy.

STEVE: Uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.

I'm driving-- I set this up.

Let's not forget that, okay?

Why don't you two argue

amongst yourselves about shotgun?

BRANDON: All right, look.

One of you guys ride with me.

Drop me off at Magic Morton's.

Come back, pick up the other one.

Okay, fine.

Steve, you can ride shotgun.

I don't feel like hearing you complain.

I'll be back to pick you up. All right.

Don't, uh... don't forget about me, okay?

I won't forget about you. Thanks.

Wait, wait, wait. Have fun.

See you, buddy.

(David sighs)

MAN: Walters.

Hey, we're loading up.

Uh, I don't have the code to the electric car.

Do you know what it is?

You're asking an idiot like me?

How could I possibly remember five whole numbers? Look,

I said you were incompetent and taking kickbacks.

I never called you an idiot.

Either way, I'm, uh... I'm fired, correct?

Stupid temp job.

Hey.

Forget about the code.

Where's the car?!

(hissing)

We should do this every week.

You know, Val, it's been really great hanging out with you.

Why don't we all do this more often?

In a word-- Kelly.

CLARE: It just, you know,

it gets awkward. We're all so busy and...

Clare, let's face it, okay?

I mean, if Kelly was here, I wouldn't be.

She wouldn't let it happen.

And I'm not blaming you guys.

I know how vindictive she can be.

Look, Kelly's our friend.

And we're not gonna get into

anything negative about her, okay?

Well, you're a better friend than she is.

She doesn't have a problem saying

what she doesn't like about you guys.

What do you mean?

Well, she says that you're vain.

You spend too much time

on your looks.

And she made some choice observations about your hair.

What did she say about my hair?

Which, by the way, I have to say I really, really like.

No, Kelly would never say that.

She wouldn't even think it.

VALERIE: Well, she says that

you're way obsessive about your grades

and the only reason that you're going to school

is to get a Mrs. degree.

CLARE: I don't, I don't get this.

You mean Kelly told you all this?

No, I read it in her journal.

You read her journal? I'm sorry, that is wrong.

VALERIE: It was laying open.

I mean, I just read a page or two.

I don't believe it.

Look guys, I didn't write it, okay.

And if you don't believe me,

I mean, ask Kelly.

Better than that, you read it yourself.

(siren wailing) Hey, hey, do not touch anything

that's part of the driver's console.

Uh, and that would be?

Are they pulling us over?

It sure looks like it.

(groans)

Get out of the car!

Hands over your heads!

Something tells me this isn't a traffic violation.

Let's go!

Next time, I'd go for something more low-profile.

What're you talking about?

Grand theft auto.

Grand theft auto?!

Take a seat.

We ran them both.

No priors.

They're all yours.

Look, Officer, I really need to make a phone call.

Can I borrow a phone?

First, tell me again

about the guy who gave you the car keys.

I told you, I don't know his name.

Guy hands over a $35,000 car,

I'd at least ask his name.

Send him a thank-you note.

It was just a test-drive.

You know, if you took us back

to the museum we'd be able to prove it.

We'll handle that part.

Silver. Finally.

Will you explain to these nice people what happened?

I did. The guy who gave us the car is nowhere to be found.

And it's always nice to meet an accessory.

Look, Officer, I'm really supposed to be someplace.

I need to make a phone call.

They are entitled to a phone call.

I think we should save that one phone call for our lawyers.

This man has the right idea.

I'd follow his advice.

You obviously don't know him.

By the way, a rep from the museum is on his way over.

Maybe he'll be able to give us a positive I.D. on you boys.

Now might be a good time

to call your attorneys.

Can you get this?

Yeah, sure.

I know Kelly said not to bring anything,

but maybe we should stop and get some wine?

I guess.

Come on, don't worry, you hair looks great.

Do you think I obsess about my hair?

I didn't say that.

And you don't know that Kelly said that either.

It is so possible that Valerie lied.

Yeah, you're right.

I mean even if she did say it-- big deal.

It's petty.

Right. I mean, you can't blame her

for noticing certain things.

Roommates are bound to get

on each other's nerves once in awhile.

So she complains about you once in awhile.

It's no big deal.

Yeah, you, too.

When?

What?

What'd she say about me?

Oh, I don't know, you know, maybe once

there was a brief conversation about your hair.

She did say you obsess about your grades.

Oh, no.

Val wasn't lying.

No, Clare, no.

No, Clare, don't do this.

This is her diary. It's private.

You don't want to know what it says about you?

No, I don't.

I've heard enough.

You're right.

People get on each other's nerves.

It doesn't mean anything.

So why does it hurt so much then?

I don't know.

I don't feel like going to this dinner thing.

We have to go.

Why?

And just pretend like everything's okay?

Kelly knows us. She'll see right through it.

She's our best friend.

(sighs)

I just lost my appetite.

Yeah.

(phone ringing)

Hello.

Hi, Kel.

Oh hey, I'm glad

you haven't left yet.

What is it that you use in that risotto that Donna likes?

Is it garlic or onion? Both.

Look, I'm not gonna be able to make it for dinner.

Why not? Are you okay?

Yeah. Neither can Donna, actually.

Clare, what's wrong?

Oh, it's a bad night, you know.

I was goofing around with my hair and now it's a mess.

I'll be so self-conscious about it,

I won't be able to shut up.

You're not coming because of your hair?

What's going on? Is Donna there?

Yeah, she's studying.

Well, not really studying.

Just obsessing about finals.

They're weeks away, but you know Donna.

I don't understand this.

Really?

That's so weird-- I mean, it's so typical for us.

We thought you would.

Bye, Kel.

BRANDON: All right, this is it.

Oh, man, I can't believe how late we are for Kelly's dinner.

Just call and explain. She'll be fine.

No, no, I want to surprise her.

She would've been really surprised

if they'd booked us for jacking that car.

I'm glad the guy came back and cleared us.

No kidding. He lost his job.

(chuckles)

It's pretty funny, when you think about it, really.

All right, so don't think about it.

Go on up, man.

We'll wait for you.

No, that's all right, we're late enough.

You guys go and get Donna and Clare. I'll see you there.

All right, man.

Hello, is anybody home?

(crashing loudly)

It's, uh, it's Brandon Walsh.

We spoke on the phone.

Mr., uh, M-Mr. Morton?

My fans call me Magic Morton.

My fans never come four hours late.

I put on a tie.

What, did you get kidnapped?

I can explain. Oh, yeah?

I know, you were stopped by lions, tigers and bears, oh, my!

I'm not big enough to inspire punctuality?

You had someplace else to go...

W-W-W-Wait, I, I just, I...

I just need a wand; one wand.

What does a grownup like you want with a wand, anyway?

It's plastic, no big deal.

It's for my girlfriend.

Well...

you should start dating people your own age.

I do.

Look, my girlfriend's father

promised her, a long time ago,

that he'd send away and get her one of your wands,

but he never did.

It's been hard on her.

Well, this is a tough town.

Tell her to get used to it and to get you a watch.

Look, I know this isn't your problem,

but I thought you'd understand about broken promises,

especially...

promises to children.

Why am I feeling manipulated?

You mean to tell me that you think that getting

this magic wand is going to improve the relationship

between your girlfriend and her old man?

Come on.

I think it might be a start.

Do you go through this much trouble

for all your girlfriends?

No.

I really wish I could explain this better.

Hey, you explained it enough.

I forgive you.

Enter.

Don't touch anything.

I got everything memorized.

Now, I did see a wand in here about two weeks ago.

(dishes clanking)

Hey, Kel.

Ooh, I guess I'm late.

How was the party?

It wasn't.

Where's Brandon?

I don't know and I don't care.

Mmm, what's this?

Looks like it would have been good hours ago.

Did you know that Donna and Clare weren't going to show?

Well, I had a feeling,

so I figured I'd just stay out of the line of fire.

And how did you know there would be a firing squad?

Well, uh, we've become really close.

You know, I can't believe

you wrote those things about them in your journal.

You're supposed to be best friends, Kelly.

So you did this.

When you stayed in my room,

you read my journal?

Well, if you had a better selection of books,

maybe I wouldn't have.

No,

come to think of it, I would have.

It was pretty juicy, very impressive.

It's not enough that Clare and Donna like you.

They have to hate me, is that it?

Well, it's just, uh, icing on the cake.

Hey, you're up early.

Yeah, I couldn't sleep.

Guilt's worse than caffeine.

Well, David dropped me off pretty late last night,

but I did notice that Kelly's door was shut.

She's here?

Yep, she went straight to bed.

We barely spoke.

You know, I'm not sure we have a right to be angry

about something she wrote in her journal.

(door opens)

She's entitled to her private thoughts, right?

Yeah, but we can't change the fact that we know them.

(door closes)

Hi.

Hi.

Hey, um, we were just talking about you

and the journal,

and we feel really bad.

About me or the journal?

Both.

We thought we were your best friends, you know?

You are.

But it's more than that.

You guys are like sisters to me.

Sometimes you're like bratty little brothers

or domineering mothers.

So who else am I supposed to write about in my journal?

But I shouldn't complain...

'cause I'm very lucky to have both of you in my life.

We love you.

We're sorry. Me, too.

Oh, I have to go.

Brandon called last night, and I wasn't very nice to him,

so I have to make it up.

Okay. See ya.

Bye. Bye.

(sighs)

I have an idea how to make it up to Kelly.

Does it have anything to do with food?

Yeah.

I have the same idea.

Hmm.

(phone ringing)

(mumbling)

Hello.

Hey, it's me-- wake up.

Am I under arrest?

Shh, keep your voice down.

Is Brandon still sleeping?

Yeah.

Good, don't wake him up.

Now, listen carefully.

This is your mission.

Thanks for helping me.

I know how you hate grocery shopping.

Yeah, but I like to eat.

Besides, I hardly get to spend any time with you anymore

outside of the library.

I know.

So, you ready to face Professor Langely tomorrow?

Oh, please, it's still the weekend.

I refuse to obsess about school.

Really?

What brought on that change?

Oh, just a little piece of advice a friend gave me.

I didn't want to hear it, but I'm taking it.

Aha! So does that mean Kelly's forgiven?

We're better than the occasional rotten things

we think about each other.

You know, I think things got a little tense

for Steve and Brandon, too.

I don't know,

when people first couple up, you tend to see

a lot less of 'em, you know? Yeah.

I guess it just bothered me

that she was spending almost every night at Brandon's.

You felt ignored?

Jealous.

That they have a kind of intimacy that we don't.

Donna...

No, I mean, they sleep together, they make love,

and we hold off because of me; my beliefs.

(chuckles)

Please don't remind me.

Come on.

It's not gonna be forever.

I know, I know.

Look, don't ever feel threatened

by anything anyone else has or does, okay?

I love you; that'll never change.

(chuckles)

Hey. Hi.

I was just on my way over to see you.

Sorry I left last night.

I was upset. That's okay.

I just wish you would have let me come over.

I could have made you feel better.

Mmm, no, that's not your job.

I had something I had to work out with Donna and Clare.

I don't want to be one of those girls

who just drops everything for a guy.

Well, who could blame you?

After all, you are under my spell.

Brandon, you got it.

Mm-hmm.

I said I would, didn't I?

Yeah, but...

This means so much to me.

I think, uh... I think this might, too.

This is my father's handwriting.

Yeah.

Magic Morton kept everything from his show's heyday,

including the office files.

He couldn't tell me why the wand was never sent,

but he gave me an earful

about staffing problems, agents, managers...

"Dear Magic Morton,

I'm writing for my favorite little girl Kelly."

You okay?

Mm-hmm.

Thanks.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. You guys got the stuff?

Got it all.

Mmm, very good.

Okay, let's keep our voices low, all right?

Got bagels, tomatoes; got some grapefruit.

That's what you wanted, right?

Right, perfect. Kelly's upstairs, so shh.

Hey.

VALERIE: What's going on?

We're doing something nice for Brandon and Kelly.

You want to help? Sure.

Can you cut those?

Hey, Clare.

Valerie.

All right, Clare, it was Kelly's journal, okay?

I was just telling you what she wrote in it.

I just wish you'd enjoy it less.

Are we all set here?

Yep, go get 'em.

(knocking)

Come in!

How you guys doing?

Uh, I hate to interrupt,

but there's really something we should talk about.

Such as?

Well, could you come downstairs?

You know, sort of an informal house meeting.

Sounds serious.

ALL: Surprise!

Whoo!

What's all this?

STEVE: A little something

to formally congratulate you two.

On finally getting it right

and getting back together.

Oh... We're so happy for you.

Thanks. I have the greatest friends.

What is that?

Is that a Magic Morton wand?

I always wanted one.

Aw, well, you can borrow it any time you want.

Brandon gave me something much more important.

STEVE: You trying to cast

a little spell onto Kelly there? What's up with that?

Well, you know how I am.

BRANDON: That's what I do.

STEVE: You're a madman.

He helped me hate my dad just a little less.

Aw... Mm...

STEVE: Hey, Val, where you going?

We're gonna eat soon.

You guys go ahead.

I'm sure I'm not gonna be missed.

Well, come on, the food's getting cold!

I got things over here cooking!

I got burners boiling!

(sighs)

Okay, Kelly.

Hi, I'm trying to reach Bill Taylor.

I'm a good friend of his daughter

and I would like to make an investment with his company.