Original subtitles

Well, at least I have my two bonehead brothers taken care of.

What'd you get 'em? For Austin, I got him

one of those Jenny McCarthy calendars,

and Ryan, that ex-booze hound,

I got him one of those glass birds,

you know the kind that sit on the end of a bar

and bob their beaks into a shot glass?

Good thing they're easily entertained.

DAVID: I don't know what I'm getting for anybody,

but I got to say the fruit baskets

are looking better and better.

Oh, shopping's the best part of Christmas. Come on.

Not for me-- I'm from the old school.

I'd rather receive than give.

Steve, I think the only time

you open your mouth is to change feet.

Nat, leave him alone.

DONNA: You know what?

I have an idea-- anyone have a pen and paper?

Oh, I do.

KELLY: Hi, you guys.

Hey, what do you got there?

Anything for me? Oh, nope, not a chance.

Got to cut costs somewhere; might as well start with you.

Ouch.

All I know is it takes me two years

to save up for one Christmas.

Donna, what are you doing?

It's a game-- I'm writing

everyone's names down on these papers.

Mark's already left for vacation?

Mm, yeah. BRANDON: Poor kid,

he's got to suffer through Christmas in the Caribbean.

Mm! What is this game?

Oh, I can't forget Valerie.

Mm, I've never had that problem.

Okay,

take everyone's names,

we put them in a hat, and whoever you chose,

you exchange a gift with.

Except you can't spend more than $50.

Sounds good?

Sounds cool. And the money

we save by not buying everybody gifts,

we give to a children's charity, like Santa's Helpers.

That sounds like a good idea.

Yeah. I need your hat.

(laughing)

Oh, you have hat head.

Hat hair. Hat head.

Mix it up.

(laughs): Nat.

Mmm...

Ah, Donna.

Mm.

Looks like it's you and me, Trace.

I wear a size two, and my favorite color's blue.

(chuckles)

Joan. That should be a challenge.

Hi, guys.

Hey, Val. Val, we are playing

the gift exchange game.

Well, I haven't done this since third grade-- count me in.

Your name's already in there.

Well, I guess I know who I'm getting.

No use in picking.

Valerie and Kelly buying gifts for each other.

Special.

Well, I know what I'm getting you.

A new personality.

Merry Christmas to you, too.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Let's try another store. You know, I should just buy Kelly

some kitty litter and be done with it.

You guys got a really good hate going, don't you?

Well, it's taken years to perfect.

So, what are you gonna get Brandon?

Oh, I don't know.

I don't want him to get the wrong idea, you know?

What's that?

That I'm crazy about him.

Well, I thought that was the right idea.

Well, that depends on him.

Oh, right.

Thank you. Thank you.

Wait.

Thank you.

Can you play "Jingle Bells"?

For another buck I can.

For a fin, you get the "Hallelujah Chorus."

Well, uh, we'll go for the low-price spread.

But I hope you don't mind if we don't stick around to hear it.

I can't believe I have to buy that witch Kelly a present.

Merry Christmas.

(playing "Jingle Bells")

DAVID: Thanks for coming, Dad.

I could use some advice.

Floss regularly.

(both laugh)

I meant about me and Donna, but... Mm.

Things have been a little stressed out with her parents.

I don't know if I'm ever gonna figure out how to handle Felice.

Join the club.

It would mean a lot to Donna

if her mom and I could get along.

Tell you what, since you and Donna

are coming over for dinner tomorrow night,

maybe Jackie and I could invite Donna's parents, too.

That'd be great.

Consider it done.

Thanks.

Mm, how about this one for Kelly?

It's pretty, it's classy...

it's under the price limit.

No way-- she'll look way too good in it.

Whatever you say. Why don't we go check out the hardware store,

see if there's any broomsticks on sale.

Lead on.

(playing "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing")

So, what did you get her?

Who?

The witch.

(laughs)

Actually, everything in that place was too good for her.

I've always felt

that the magical thing about Christmas

is that it's a perfect time to let bygones be bygones.

All right, let's go back and get the sweater.

That's the Christmas spirit.

Don't push it. (laughs)

Hey, did you hear?

Yeah. Can you believe it?

Your dad called, and my mom said great.

Dinner's set.

Just like that?

Well... not just like that.

But she agreed; that's all that matters.

What's the deal with your mom?

I'm kissing you, and you're thinking about my mother?

I'm sorry, I just...

I don't know, I wish she'd finally like me.

Well, she's just looking out for me.

Don't take it personally.

(chuckles) So what are you saying, she's never gonna like me?

I'm saying it doesn't make a difference to the way I feel.

And how do you feel?

Like I want you to kiss me again.

Oh, man, this is worse

than back-to-school shopping with my mom.

I'm sorry, I got to find something for Tracy.

Besides, would you relax?

Look around-- it's Christmas.

Oh! Your search is over.

Picture Tracy in that.

Mmm! Well, it's nice and everything, Steve,

but I'm sure it costs more than $50.

Then just get the stockings.

No, I don't think so.

Well, Bran, you got to make a move.

Steve, I'll make a move

when I feel like it's time to make a move, okay?

Oh, so you are serious about her?

Aren't you supposed to meet Clare for lunch?

Well, yeah, but I don't want to desert you.

Please desert me.

You know what?

If you decide you're really serious,

get something with feathers.

Feathers?

DONNA: Hey. Hey.

(heavy sigh)

What? Let me guess--

there wasn't a parking space left

in all of Beverly Hills?

(groans): There was one.

Only someone nearly got killed over it. (laughs)

Oh, what a morning.

I didn't buy one thing.

Any ideas for Valerie?

Nothing that isn't toxic.

(sighs): Oh...

I have the worst headache.

Well, I think I'm about to make matters worse.

Not possible.

Your dad called today.

(groans): I take that back.

Here's his number,

and he said he's coming to L.A. for Christmas.

(sighs)

Good.

Good?

It's about time I gave him

a piece of my mind.

Hey. Hi. Hey, Steve.

How's the Christmas shopping going?

It's all done. So, what'd you get Nat?

I got him a Wolfgang Puck cookbook.

A cookbook? Yeah.

It's signed by Wolfie and everything.

Y-You don't think he's gonna be

just a little offended by that?

No. Not unless he has something against

goat cheese and pine nuts.

Steve, I don't know

whether Clare has mentioned it.

Tomorrow's my faculty party.

I expect to see you there.

Um, you know what, I can't.

My mom's in town.

I promised I'd spend the whole day with her.

Well, you'll just have

to bring her along, then.

Would that be okay?

(laughs): Oh, right!

Are you kidding? We'd be honored.

I won't hear another word.

We'll, uh... we'll see you all at the party.

Uh...

I think I better be going.

I, uh, got some shopping of my own to take care of.

Can I get the ladder for you? Yeah.

Thank you, Steve-- just put it in the garage.

I thought you did all your Christmas shopping already.

Well, I-I, uh, suddenly feel an urge for a new tie.

Uh, wh-what about my hair, you think I need a trim?

You have, like, a million ties.

And you just got your hair cut last week.

What's going on?

A beautiful actress is coming to my Christmas party.

Hi. Hi.

Taylor. 8:00.

Ah, yes. The rest of your party is already here.

Okay. Follow me, please.

(clears throat softly)

Here you are, ma'am.

Bon appétit. Oh, there must be some mistake.

Kelly?

My name's Joy. Won't you sit down?

Where's my father?

Still in New York.

Something last-minute-- you know how he is.

Yes, I do.

I thought we could still have dinner, just the two of us?

I have been dying to meet you.

My father blows me off

and sends his girlfriend to break the news.

I didn't think it was possible,

but he has outdone himself again.

I'm not his girlfriend.

Oh, I'm sorry, are you married?

Should I call you Mom? I'm not his wife, either.

Kelly, Bill Taylor is my father, too.

I'm your sister.

My sister?

Good morning.

Hi.

You got in late last night.

How was dinner with your dad?

He didn't show.

I spent the night driving around

trying to cool off.

But the surprise was that my sister did show.

What?

He has a whole 'nother family I knew nothing about.

Can you believe that?

What was she like?

I don't know.

I didn't stay.

What do you mean? What'd you do?

I basically sat down, said, "Pleased to meet you,"

and then I left. It was too weird.

That was it? Aren't you curious about her?

Right now, I'm just too upset.

Right, but it's not her fault.

Maybe she can shed some light

on why your dad's such a jerk sometimes.

Maybe you'll like her.

Maybe I would've liked my father

if he'd stuck around long enough for me to find out.

Yeah, well, I just think it's a great opportunity.

Besides, it's family.

What does your mom think about this?

I don't know.

Looks like I'm gonna have to be the one to tell her.

(clears throat)

VALERIE: Hey, Clare. Hi.

Want to join us? Oh, that's okay.

I'm just gonna pick up pies for my dad's party.

Coming right up.

Thanks.

So how's shopping going?

Uh, not so good. Tracy's tough.

I found the perfect gift for Kelly.

I hope you didn't go to too much trouble.

No, I did. I really got into it.

I got her something really nice.

Oh.

What're you trying to say, Clare?

Nothing.

Nothing?

Don't tell me, Kelly hasn't really gotten

into the spirit, has she?

Did I say that? BRANDON: Yeah, you did.

Loud and clear.

Brandon, I'll see you at home later.

I have a gift to return.

Okay.

Well, so much for peace on Earth.

Well, this is Valerie and Kelly we're talking about.

It's not as simple as the Middle East.

So you won't take this back, not even for an exchange?

It was a clearance item.

No return, no exchange. I'm sorry.

Care to make a donation

to aid those less fortunate than ourselves?

Actually, I do. How about this?

It's you again.

We take any goods you're kind enough to offer.

Bring them downtown.

Actually, I don't have time to go downtown.

Just find somebody who needs it.

Are you sure you want to donate this?

It's, it's quite lovely.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Just wish somebody a Merry Christmas for me.

You look handsome.

Where could they be?!

You're welcome.

Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart.

You're welcome.

You're nervous about meeting Samantha Sanders, huh?

No, don't be ridiculous.

I-I just detest tardiness.

(doorbell rings)

You're right, I'm terrified.

Hi!

Hi. Hi, nice to see you Clare.

Yeah, nice to see you, too.

Babe, you look beautiful.

Hi. So do you. Come on in.

Ah, Chancellor Arnold,

this is my mom, Samantha Sanders.

How do you do, Chancellor?

Uh, I better get a drink.

Uh, I'll get us both a drink.

Come on. I'll introduce you around.

Thank you.

Mom?

Hi, honey.

Hi.

Sorry, I know

you're busy with dinner and everything.

That's okay. You hungry?

No.

Um, Dad's coming to town. He called.

You don't have to see him, you know.

I know.

I think maybe you better come

sit down for this one.

What?

I found out that he has another family.

I have a sister nearly my age.

I know.

What do you mean you know?

I just met this girl last night.

Oh, I'm very upset with your father

that he did this without telling me.

Wait just a second.

You knew about this and you never told me?

Yes. I'm sorry.

You're sorry?

What were you thinking?

I-I thought it would hurt you.

Oh, and lying to me for 20 years wouldn't?

It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

He promised me he would never bring it up.

I think that you wanted me to believe

that he was leaving me for selfish reasons.

Not because he had some other family to take care of.

Please, don't be mad at me.

You wanted me to hate him as much as you hate him.

No. I was trying to protect you from something

I thought would hurt you!

It hurt me!

Now, it may not have been the right decision,

but it was the one I made at the time!

What would you like me to do now, Mother?

You don't have to have anything to do with this girl.

She's my sister.

And you having kept that from me all these years

isn't gonna change it.

Kelly,

I did this for your own good. You have to believe that.

I wouldn't believe anything you said if you swore on a Bible.

(door slams)

Hey, Mom. Hey.

Are you having a good time?

I am.

Clare is a doll

and so smart.

How did you manage that?

I think some of the old Sanders charm rubbed off on me.

What do you think of her dad?

I don't know.

He really hasn't spoken to me since we arrived.

I'm afraid he's avoiding me.

Oh?

Hi. I hope you're having a good time.

I am, thank you. It's just lovely.

(quietly): Clare, your father's giving my mom the cold shoulder.

What's up with that?

I have a feeling it might not be what it seems.

Mrs. Sanders,

how's your, um, repertoire of Christmas carols?

Well, I've held my own on every holiday variety special

from Dean Martin to the Muppets.

Great. Dad.

Don't you think it's about time

to gather around the piano?

Oh, now that's a good idea.

Would you sing with us, Mrs. Sanders?

Not unless you call me Samantha.

Samantha. What a bewitching name.

(chuckles)

I hope you know what you're doing.

Hi.

Hi.

Thanks for coming.

Thank you. I'm so glad you called.

I wasn't sure you were going to.

Well, I wasn't going to

till a friend of mine reminded me

that my problem isn't with you, it's with my...

our father.

So, then you're not close to him?

That would be an understatement.

I'm surprised.

He talks about you all the time.

He does?

Every time

I'd be with him, he'd always have a new story

about my sister in Beverly Hills.

So, where are you from?

Mexico City.

My mom's family goes way back there.

You don't speak with an accent.

My dad... I mean, our dad....

Why don't we just call him Bill?

Bill sent me to school in Virginia.

I've spent a lot of time in the States.

That's nice.

So you've probably spent a lot of time with him?

More when I was little.

But, um, for the last few years,

he sort of shows up for a crisis, and that's it.

With me, he, uh, shows up, causes the crisis,

and then leaves. Thank you.

The last time I saw him, he said that he was moving here

and he was gonna settle down and I was gonna have a father again.

And he bailed.

I knew about that.

That's the time when Mom had surgery.

That's why he had to leave L.A.

And it was the last time I saw him, too.

So, is your mom okay?

So far, so good.

Good.

Looks like we have a lot in common.

That's what I was hoping.

I think Bill was, too.

Let's not get too sentimental over the old man.

Yeah.

I got a message that he's due in tomorrow morning.

Just in time to ruin our Christmas.

Oh, good.

Well, here's to him not showing.

I'll drink to that.

You're okay, Sis.

So are you.

BOTH: ♪ And heaven and heaven and nature sing ♪

♪ He rules the world with truth and grace ♪

Oh, look at them! It's disgusting!

Uh, she'd be the one that's bending over

so he can look down her dress.

Uh, excuse me, he's the one looking down her dress.

♪ And wonders of His love, and wonders of His love ♪

♪ And wonders and wonders of His love. ♪

Arnold, you sing divinely.

(both chuckle)

(laughs loudly)

Well, we gotta do something.

What do you suggest?

Steve,

your mother and I have decided to go out somewhere

and get a bite to eat.

She's not hungry.

Clare, would it be terrible if you were to see

the last few guests out?

Oh, I can't, actually, I have to...

Good, good.

You ready to blow this pop stand?

I was born ready. (laughs)

Good night!

Good night! Good night!

Ew.

(doorbell rings)

Good evening.

Hi. Hi.

Come on in. Merry Christmas.

Nice to see you. Merry Christmas.

Hello. Good to see you.

Hi. Hi, John.

Good to see you. Merry Christmas.

Thank you so much. That's very kind of you.

Why don't we all go into the living room?

Great.

What's up, buddy?

How you doing?

Please, make yourselves at home.

So, can I get anyone a drink?

A glass of white wine would be fine, thank you.

FELICE: I guess I'll have

a glass of chardonnay.

Unless you're passing out champagne again.

We have some champagne.

Felice.

FELICE: John.

Dr. Martin is afraid I'm going to mention

the graduation party where Mel got the kids drunk.

But, oh, I promised

not to bring it up.

What a relief.

I'll-I'll take some mineral water.

Me, too, please.

I know what you want.

Be right back.

Uh, Jackie, you decorated this place yourself?

As a matter of fact, I did.

I can tell.

It's got all those personal touches that are so quaint.

You've made it very homey, for a condo.

Thanks.

I think.

So, Jackie, I, uh, I hear you and Mel

are going to the brunch at the club.

Wouldn't miss it for the world.

Oh, great.

Oh, your tree.

It's very lovely.

Ah! I thought about bringing an ornament for you as a gift,

but then, you know, with Mel,

I wasn't sure if you'd have a tree.

Being Jewish and all.

I'll-I'll get the hors d'oeuvres.

I'm gonna go help him.

I think I made a big mistake. It'll get better.

Thank you.

Welcome.

John.

Thank you, Mel, very much.

Honey.

Cheers, everyone.

Cheers.

FELICE: I have to say, it's, uh,

very nice to see the two of you happy again,

after all your troubles.

Thank you, Felice.

FELICE: I don't care what anybody says,

marriage is the bedrock of our society.

Uh, you do know, Felice, that Mel and I

are not officially married.

But you have a child.

MEL: We were married, Felice,

and we got divorced,

and, uh, we haven't renewed our vows, yet.

If it works broke,

why fix it?

(Felice chuckles)

Well, I don't know,

it all sounds pretty confusing to me.

I mean, two religions, married, not married.

Ooh. No wonder David's been a little mixed up lately.

(whispers): It's not getting any better.

Oh, I am all shopped out.

Didn't you say you had a friend to buy a special gift for?

I didn't say a friend. (chuckles)

Hey, I have those earrings.

In fact, Dad gave them to me.

No way.

That's where I got these.

You're kidding me.

(chuckles)

When did he give them to you?

Let's see.

My birthday, this year.

Me, too.

What did he give you for Christmas?

Don't tell me.

Was it a velvet scarf?

Velvet, yes.

It was orange.

He said he thought orange was my color.

Okay, first of all, orange is nobody's color.

Second of all, I cannot believe he gets us the same things.

I think his secretary gets them.

Probably.

Let me ask you this.

Was he ever actually there for your birthdays or for Christmas?

Nope.

Me, neither.

You know,

I've spent my entire life being jealous of you.

I thought I didn't have a dad

because he was busy being a dad to you.

That's funny, because after we met,

I spent the whole night hating you.

I thought that you were the reason

that he was always leaving me.

Well, if he wasn't with you and he wasn't with me, where was he?

Who knows?

He may have a few more mouths to feed.

There could be a whole field hockey team of Taylor girls.

Well, good old Bill Taylor finally did something right.

He introduced us.

Probably wouldn't have if he realized

how well it was going to turn out.

You know what?

I think it's gonna be a Merry Christmas after all.

Come on.

I have to go buy that present

for that so-called friend I told you about.

(door opens)

Whew.

Finally.

(sighs) I thought I'd never get home.

You know, Christmas Eve brings out the worst in people.

Not all people.

You know, Kelly called awhile ago.

She was talking a mile a minute about

sisters and sisterhood,

good old-fashioned

Christmas spirit.

And I care because...?

Well, I don't want to betray any confidences here,

but I do believe she's gotten into the spirit of things,

if you know what I'm saying?

So, you're saying that she bought me something nice.

I'm not at liberty to deny that allegation.

Oh, great. This is great.

Now I'm gonna look like the bad one.

See you later.

(door opens, closes)

So much for the spirit of giving.

(clears throat)

I hate tinsel.

It's so obvious.

Well, that's because you don't understand it, Clare.

There's a Zen thing about it.

I like it.

I like it, too.

But you have to put it on with a little more subtlety.

Wow, great tinsel technique, Trace.

You know, there could be a how-to video in your future.

You could be the next Martha Stewart, if you don't watch it.

How'd you like a candy cane up your nose?

Sound like us, Clare.

Yeah, must be love.

(laughs)

(phones ringing, people chattering)

Hi. Uh, I was wondering do you have any more

of those Angora sweaters that were over there?

Sorry. They sold fast at that price.

But you must have some like it somewhere else, right?

I'm afraid not.

Okay.

I'm glad you're still here.

Must be one of those Christmas miracles or something, huh?

Nice to see you, too.

Some last- minute shopping?

Actually, um, yesterday,

I donated one of those Angora sweaters.

Oh, well, how could I forget?

That was very generous of you.

I was wondering if I could get it back.

It was a mistake.

I mean, I'd be glad to donate cash for its value.

Well, as a, as a matter of fact, I still have it.

I have a little

confession to make.

I got off so late last night, I didn't drop it off downtown.

But, uh, I was going to tonight.

But it's Christmas Eve.

You should be with your family.

My husband always works on Christmas Eve.

It's his busy time.

You know what?

I want you to have the sweater.

Oh, I...

No, I couldn't do that.

Oh, no, you could.

You do so much for everybody else.

And... you deserve it.

I can find something else.

Well, that's very sweet of you.

Thank you very much, Miss, uh...

Malone.

Valerie Malone.

Thank you, Miss Valerie Malone.

And merry Christmas.

But what about your gift?

It doesn't matter.

Of course it does.

Wait a minute.

I... have something here that you can give.

Here.

What is it?

Oh, that would spoil the surprise.

Merry Christmas.

Thanks.

You, too.

Thanks for the ride.

Not a problem.

I was just doing my civic duty.

No one should be asked to drive after six cups of eggnog.

There was no alcohol in it.

Well, it's the nutmeg.

The nutmeg is the killer.

It makes you all loopy.

That's not funny.

You're right, that wasn't funny.

Want to come in?

I'd love to, but if I don't get back

and leave a deli platter out for Santa,

he blows right by my house.

You know, he's Beverly Hills.

Brandon, I got to ask you a question.

Did you have a hard time with that Christmas swap gift thing?

Honestly, yes, I did.

I found everything was sort of stupid.

Or too personal.

Exactly.

(laughs)

I guess we'll see you tomorrow, won't we?

Yes. (laughs)

Yes, we will.

Good night.

Merry Christmas.

You, too.

I've been calling you.

Why haven't you returned my messages?

I'm busy.

We waited for you for dinner.

I told you I was having dinner with David.

Donna, this is Christmas Eve.

Look, I'm sorry about last night.

I know I behaved badly.

Please,

apologize to David for me.

It's a little late for that.

But if you're apologizing, how about to Mel and Jackie?

They were your hosts.

I didn't mean to be rude.

I-I guess I was just a little nervous.

You know, why can't you admit that you are doing

everything you possibly can to break David and I apart?

How could you think I would do something like that?

I don't know, Mom.

It's Christmastime; maybe you could try

and buy David off like you did with Ray.

I can't help but be a little overprotective of you.

You are my baby.

I am not a baby anymore.

When are you gonna see that?

Maybe when you're adult enough to see that a boy

with mental health and drug problems is not the man for you.

Didn't you forget to add Jewish to that list?

Closing your eyes to these things

is not gonna make them go away.

No, I-I don't want them to go away!

I want you to go away.

All right.

All right, I'll go.

But if you don't show up for Christmas,

you are gonna break your father's heart.

I can't believe you guys did this.

Donna, it's your birthday.

We do this every year.

I know, but it's my birthday, so I can be humble.

(chuckling)

What is this?

(gasps)

Oh, you guys, this is beautiful.

David got the bracelet. We each picked out a charm.

Well, it's charming.

(chuckling)

(doorbell rings)

I'll get it.

I hope that's Nat.

I have a little surprise for him.

Hey, so, when do I get to meet my new stepsister?

She'll be at the brunch.

Did your father ever show?

No, but he's supposed to be there, too.

Joy and I are gonna double-team him.

JOAN: Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! Sorry we're late.

ALL: Hey!

Great. Everyone's here. Now we can begin.

Who wants to go first?

I do.

Here you go, Nat.

Okay, Steve.

Mmm... (chuckles)

(both laughing)

Oh. A thesaurus.

Well, thanks, Nat. I don't know what to say.

That's why I bought it for you.

(all laughing)

Now, why did you buy me a cookbook?

(laughing)

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, Joan.

Oh. Thanks, David. Same to you.

Thank you.

What is... Uh!

Two tickets to the Monkees reunion show.

(all laughing)

There's more to life than rap music.

I'm a believer. Thank you.

JOAN: Handkerchiefs.

They're lovely. Thank you, David.

Oh, well, I figured

with Frankie the drooling machine,

you'd need them.

Great.

Okay, who's next? You guys.

Tracy and Brandon.

Oh, the moment of truth.

Yes, indeed. For you, Madame.

Thank you.

Oh, they're beautiful.

DONNA: Trace, those earrings are beautiful.

Oh, look at that, a pen-- a fountain pen, no less.

Lovely. Thank you.

Thank you.

Donna, let's open ours now.

Okay.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

(gasps)

Oh, I wanted this book.

Oh, they have great dresses in here.

Look at these outfits.

Thank you.

Oh! tickets to the French Impressionist exhibit. Thanks.

Well, that leaves Kelly and Valerie.

Here you go, I hope you like it.

This is not what I started out to get you, but here you go.

A new journal.

It's beautiful. Thank you.

I'm glad you like it.

If I could have found another one,

I would have bought it for myself.

Oh, my God. I don't believe this.

Neither do I.

How'd you know?

Where'd you get it?

Um... Santa's Helpers.

Well, thank you, I love it.

Merry Christmas.

Whoa. Whoa!

A Christmas truce.

(all laughing)

Well, we've got a party to go to, and my sleigh is waiting.

Let's go!

♪ Like a ship that's tossed and driven... ♪

♪ Battered by an angry sea ♪

♪ When the storms of life are raging ♪

♪ And the fury falls on me ♪

♪ I wonder what I've done ♪

♪ To make my race hard to run ♪

♪ I say to my soul ♪

♪ Don't worry, the Lord will make a way somehow ♪

♪ You know, I try to do my best in service ♪

♪ Lord, I try to live the best I can ♪

♪ When I choose to do the right thing... ♪

I thought your mom was supposed to go back to New York?

STEVE: Yeah. Well, apparently not, huh?

Do you realize we're like this close

to being brother and sister?

Yeah. Well leave it alone, Sis, maybe it'll go away.

Mom! Hi. Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas. Mind if we join you?

Sure. No. Thank you.

Great party, Val.

Oh, it's David's idea.

Well, you're certainly filled

with the generosity of the season.

Turning over a new leaf?

Well, maybe I am.

Maybe that should be your New Year's resolution.

No. I already got one. Let me guess.

Make Kelly's life as miserable as possible?

You know me too well.

Hey, enjoying the show?

It's a wonderful idea.

What's the name of the group?

Uh... Clarence Fountain

and the Blind Boys of Alabama.

Well, they're terrific.

You should do this every year.

It's very nice, David.

Thank you.

David... there's something we wanted to say.

John...

this is my apology.

Uh, none's necessary.

That's exactly what Mel and Jackie said

when I apologized to them.

You're... all very generous.

Yeah, well it is Christmas.

That makes me feel even worse.

Donna and I had a falling out

and you could do a lot to smooth things over.

Well, what'd you have in mind?

We're hoping she'll sit with us.

I'll see what I can do.

♪ So, take it easy ♪

♪ The Lord will make a way somehow ♪

♪ You know the Lord will make a way somehow... ♪

Donna...

you should go sit with your parents.

David...

it's my birthday

and I don't have to do anything I don't want to do,

and I don't want to sit with my mother.

I just can't deal with her.

I believe you.

Look, just... just do it for me, please.

All right.

♪ ...make a way somehow... ♪

♪ Oftentimes they'll misunderstand ♪

♪ Out of all the good I try to do ♪

♪ I go to friends for consolation ♪

Hi. Hi.

♪ I find them complaining, too ♪

♪ So many nights ♪

♪ I tossed and turned ♪

Hey!

Hi.

So, I guess you got the same message as me.

I sure did. Dad's not coming.

Oh. Well, I hope he's somewhere having a really bad day.

Well, if I decide to go to school here in the fall,

he'll have to show up eventually.

Well, I hope you do-- and he doesn't.

Oh, my God, that's her.

MEL: She's beautiful.

This is so hard for me, Mel.

I knew this day was gonna come.

Well, it's here.

Just be honest.

That's all you can do.

♪ ...upon my brow ♪

♪ There's a sweet relief... ♪

(applause)

Hi, Kelly.

Mom.

And you must be Joy.

I'm Jackie Taylor.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Well...

I guess I don't have to ask where your father is.

Seeing the two of you here together,

I have to tell you how good it makes me feel,

and I probably don't deserve that.

No, actually, you don't.

Please, Kelly, give her a chance.

I know I should have tried to bring the two of you together

a long time ago, but I... had my own agenda.

That was wrong

and I apologize.

What do you think?

Should we forgive her?

No, I think we ought to let her squirm a little longer.

Well, I've been squirming for 20 years.

What's one more minute?

FOUNTAIN: If you know this one,

give us a hand.

♪ We... ♪

♪ Wish you a merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪ Thank you.

♪ And a happy New Year ♪

♪ O, bring us some figgy pudding ♪

♪ O, bring us some figgy pudding ♪

♪ O, bring us some figgy pudding ♪

♪ And a cup of good cheer ♪

♪ We won't go until we get some ♪

♪ We won't go until we get some ♪

♪ We won't go until we get some ♪

♪ So bring some right here! ♪

♪ Good tidings to you ♪

♪ Wherever you are ♪

♪ O tidings of Christmas ♪

♪ And a happy New Year. ♪