Original subtitles

This is where the wealthy and the powerful rule.

It is her world, a world apart from mine.

Her name is Catherine.

From the moment I saw her, she captured my heart

with her beauty, her warmth, and her courage.

I knew then as I know now,

she would change my life... forever.

He comes from a secret place, far below the city streets.

Hiding his face from strangers, safe from hate and harm.

He brought me there to save my life.

And now, wherever I go, he is with me in spirit.

For we have a bond stronger than friendship or love.

And although we cannot be together,

we will never ever be apart.

Hi. This is Catherine Chandler.

Would you tell Joe that I probably won't be in today?

Yeah. Must be that flu.

All right, thanks, Charlene.

Every year, when this day comes around,

it brings something different.

I can't believe it's been 20 years.

Strange thing is, it just hit me

like it's never hit me before.

It just came crashing down.

It's the loss of her

and what that meant.

I don't think the loss of a mother or a wife

is ever behind you.

I just felt her so strongly this morning.

Her memory, all the things

we never got to share.

Wondering... what she would think of me now.

She very much wanted you to have a happy life.

Your mother didn't have a lot of happiness

in her childhood.

She wanted that for you.

A happy life.

Come on, get dressed; I'll take you to lunch.

I promised I'd see Nancy Tucker.

She's in from Westport.

Oh. How she's doing?

I haven't seen her for a while.

She's got two kids.

I'll find out if she's having a happy life.

Thanks for coming.

Here we are, past and present

converged over shrimp salad.

It's really great to see you.

I want you to come up to Westport.

Spend some time with us.

Rebecca and Bill moved up last year,

and they live three blocks away.

Really? Mm-hmm.

That sounds great.

Bring somebody if you want.

Is there a man in your life?

Are you in love?

That's a very enigmatic look.

It's rather complicated.

Oh, it always was with you.

The guys you ended up with never understood you.

This one does.

What's the problem?

Is he married?

No.

Gay?

No.

Uh, unemployed?

Behind bars? What's left?

None of that.

We'll talk about it next time.

Does he make you happy?

That's all that matters, Cath.

I didn't know that she'd been sick for a long time.

I was ten when she died.

The sadness must have been overwhelming.

It was.

But what I felt this morning...

what I feel now,

is deeper and more terrifying

than anything I felt then.

Yes.

The loss.

A terrible feeling of loss.

Not just my mother, but a part of my life.

Safety. Simplicity.

Things I've never been able to know before.

I saw an old friend today,

and I looked at her, and I knew

that she had those things.

I was happy for her, but it made me sad.

Perhaps these feelings, these memories,

are calling out to remind you.

Of what?

Something you need.

I don't know...

Of what you long for.

My life is full of complications and risks.

I don't know how to have a simple life.

Catherine... your mother's memory

reminds you of your aloneness,

of the family you lost when she died,

of all the friends you left behind

when our paths crossed.

Because that secret that you carry now,

our secret, sets you apart

from your past, your friends,

even from the family you are yet to have,

the children waiting to be born.

Catherine, the burden you bear with that secret,

is your aloneness.

Know that our bond, our dream exists

at the cost of all your other dreams.

Know that, Catherine.

It's worth it.

The Omansky case just got remanded back to a new trial.

Oh, they threw out the partner's confession?

Yeah, and now we go back to square one and build a new case

independent of the confession.

Go down to the vaults, bring it all back up.

All right. Go through everything.

Police reports, witness interviews,

evidence files, all the transcripts.

And we got to move; they're going to be pushing.

They know we're at a disadvantage.

Okay.

Okay.

So, how can I help you?

I'm not sure.

I'm not even sure you can.

Give me a chance.

I'm not even sure why I'm here.

Never done anything like this before.

On the phone, you mentioned

the anniversary of your mother's death.

On Monday, 20 years.

It hit me pretty hard, very unexpectedly.

I've been feeling pretty bad ever since.

Feeling like how?

Like...

...my life is impossible.

Like I'll never be able to find happiness.

Everything just feels hopeless.

What feels hopeless?

Everything.

My life.

What used to make me happy suddenly makes me...

It feels painful...

tragic.

Do you think these feelings

might have anything to do with what happened

when you were attacked a year ago?

How do you know about that?

It was in the papers.

As I remember it,

a lot of circumstances were left unresolved.

That's not why

I'm here.

Why are you here?

I suppose to reconcile myself with my mother's death.

Are you sure?

Are you sure

that's the issue?

Why don't you tell me?

I wish I could.

But I think you have to tell yourself first.

It's a relationship I'm involved in.

Yes?

A relationship I've never talked about with anyone.

You haven't introduced Vincent

to any of your friends or family?

No.

Is it that he doesn't want

to take part in your life or you don't want him to?

He can't.

Why not?

He's not able to.

He has to live separate and apart from me,

from my life.

For reasons I'm not able to go into.

Do you want to end it?

No.

I don't want to.

What do you think you're getting out of this relationship?

Everything.

He gives me everything.

All the things I never had before.

So what's the problem?

A part of me wants to go and be with him,

live with him in his world.

And a part of me is just a woman living in New York

and trying to be happy.

And that feels impossible?

It is impossible.

Vincent?

It's your move.

Perhaps we should continue this game at another day.

Well, with all due respect, Vincent,

I think perhaps we should.

What is it?

What's distracting you, son?

As if I had to ask.

She's in great turmoil.

Don't worry yourself about me, Father.

I sometimes feel, uh...

that I'm standing on the bank of a raging river,

watching you trying to swim across.

How can I not worry?

I'd be a fool.

And yet, Vincent,

at the same time, I have to marvel at your courage.

Catherine swims across that river as well.

She faces the same dangers,

shows the same courage.

And in many ways, the toll on her is even greater.

You really think that's so?

On her side of the river,

there is no one standing on the bank watching.

On her side of the river, there is no one

praying for a safe passage.

On her side of the river, Father,

there is no one but Catherine.

Then I shall stand watch... and pray

for both of you.

Hello?

Hi, it's Nancy.

That's so funny.

I was just thinking of you.

Thinking of coming up for a visit?

Nothing that specific.

Well, listen, next Friday is Rebecca's birthday,

and a bunch of us are getting together,

and I thought it might be a good chance to get you up here.

I don't know, Nance.

I've got a load of work, just a lot of loose ends.

Oh, no excuses.

Jenny Aronson is coming, and you can get a ride with her.

Well, I'll work on it.

I'll call you early in the week.

Rebecca's big brother, Buddy, will be there.

You will stoop to anything, won't you?

To get you up here, you're damn right.

I will do my best.

You'd better.

Okay. Bye.

Have you finished the breakdown

of the neighbor's testimony?

I just put it on your desk.

When?

Half an hour ago?

No, that was the billing manager's testimony.

I asked you to break down the neighbor's testimony.

Oh, God, Joe.

I got it mixed up somehow.

I don't know how I did that.

I'll have it on your desk by the end of the day.

All right, look, Cathy,

we got to stay

of this now, okay? I know.

He's overcome tremendous hardship.

He's suffered great pain.

And yet, he has the most beautiful spirit.

The most generous heart of anyone I've ever known.

But you say it's impossible?

We can never have a life together.

How can that fulfill you?

It does fulfill me...

in ways I never knew existed.

It's the rest of my life that doesn't seem to fit.

Then how can you find the happiness

that you say you want?

You do want to be happy?

Well, it's just

that I'm wondering whether you're not using

this impossible, problematic situation

with Vincent to avoid a commitment to the real thing.

It is the real thing.

If I'm going to help you at all,

I'm going to need more to work with, more information.

Okay. Like what?

Why is this relationship a secret?

What makes it impossible?

Is he a fugitive? Are you concerned about his safety?

In a way.

Well, you're an attorney.

Surely, you must know that anything you say to me

will be kept confidential.

I'm sorry.

I made a promise.

Why did you come to me?

I'm not sure.

I guess because I needed to talk to someone about it.

To let someone else know.

Why don't you?

I can't.

Joe?

What's up?

I'm going to have to take some time off.

What?

I need to get away for a while.

When?

Right away.

Joe, you know I wouldn't

be asking... Cathy, you can't leave.

The Omansky case is a mess.

I've got ten other fires to put out.

I can't let you go.

I can't even believe you're asking.

Then, I'll have to quit.

All right, Cathy, what's wrong?

I'm having some personal problems.

Really?

I can't go into it.

Plus, you always say trust me.

For my sake, for the sake of the work,

I need a break.

Well, you're all right?

I mean, it's not your health?

I'll be okay.

All right, all right, don't worry.

You take some time off.

Take as much as you need.

I'll get Ellis and one of the interns to help out.

Thanks. I appreciate it.

You know...

you work yourself too hard.

And I take advantage.

We all work too hard.

Yeah.

But I pushed it.

I knew you were trying to prove yourself.

And you gave me the chance to.

It's okay.

I owe you Radcliffe.

If there's anything I can do for you,

I mean anything...

I won't hesitate.

Good.

You've got a friend here, kiddo.

I know that.

Oh, there she is.

Catherine.

Hi, Dad, sorry I'm late.

Hi, Kay.

Nice to see you.

How are you?

Actually, I'm pretty good.

Are you?

Yes, I am.

We'd better get to our seats.

I am so happy you could join us.

Where are all the proceeds going again?

I keep losing track.

I'm going to take some time off work.

Good. Good idea.

Got any plans?

On Friday, I'm going to visit Nancy Tucker

up in Westport.

Then, I just may rent a car and take a long drive

up through New England.

It's a great time of the year.

I can't tell you how glad I am

that you're going to do that.

Me, too.

I forgot how sad it was.

I'm have to go get a tissue.

I'm here.

Catherine.

Tell me.

Tonight, I went to a piano recital.

I was actually feeling okay.

And then I sat down, and he started to play

the Grieg Piano Concerto,

the one that we heard in the park that night.

Was it beautiful?

Yes, it was beautiful.

And I kept remembering how much you loved it.

And I wanted you there with me so badly.

It became unbearable to me,

almost physically painful.

I just had to run; I actually ran from it.

Vincent, what are we going to do?

We have to do something before there's nothing

left for either of us.

This was the risk we faced.

Now... what?

Now...

...perhaps we awaken from our dream...

...return to our lives.

No. Let me come below.

Let me live in your world.

Let me try.

Catherine, you have a life above.

To leave that now would be to turn your back on who you are,

on who you were to become.

That, you must never do.

What am I to do?

You're in such pain, I know.

Vincent... I don't think

I have the strength to continue.

Then you mustn't continue.

Maybe if I just went away for a while.

Catherine...

It must end.

No.

It must.

I don't want that.

How can you say that?

To see you in such pain because you dare to love,

knowing that I am the reason, the cause of that pain,

is more than I can bear to live with.

It mocks our dreams,

so it must end.

Catherine, you have a life waiting to be lived.

No.

Let the memory of what we are,

of what we shared

remind you that love in its deepest and purest form exists.

Use that memory to give you the courage

to love... someone else.

I can't.

You must.

No.

Wait. Wait!

Nancy? It's Cathy.

How would you feel if I came up a little early?

Are you sure?

I could catch a train tonight.

Okay. See you soon.

Grand Central.

What is that thing?

It's a melon baller.

Life wouldn't be the same without it.

A melon baller?

Stick with me, and you'll learn all the secrets.

Uh, just another nuclear accident.

Take over here, will you?

Come on, that's it, be brave.

You are too fast for me!

I'm an old lady, you know?

How old?

Same age as your mom.

That's old.

Talk about compulsive men over 35.

I mean, he asked me to take my shoes off

before I walked into his apartment.

What did you do?

I took my shoes off.

You are truly a disturbed person,

You know that?

Oh, yeah?

Don't forget to make a wish.

I don't believe you.

I swear it, it's true.

Well, why didn't you ever tell me?

I don't know.

I guess because you were Rebecca's friend.

And you didn't want to jeopardize your sister's

social life by dating and dumping one of her friends?

No.

More like, I didn't want Becky in a position

to know everything I was doing.

How long are you going to be in Westport?

Through the weekend.

Do you think we could spend some time?

Say tomorrow?

I'd really like that.

Why don't we talk about it tomorrow?

What we shared will never die.

I'll always be with you.

Goodbye, Catherine.

Be happy.

Oh, Vincent.

Your hair.

The sunlight

in your hair is so beautiful.

Catherine...

The colors.

It's like another world.

I feel like I'm seeing it for the first time.

Where shall we go?

Everywhere.

I want to show you everything.

And we can go together?

Yes, together.

Catherine, how can this be?

Because it's what I wished for...

more than anything.

I dreamed of this.

The two of us in sunshine.

Vincent, you are so beautiful.

Catherine, I'm a part of you.

What you see in me is the beauty in your heart.

It's all so perfect.

This moment.

I've never been so happy.

If only it could last forever.

It can. It will.

I love you so much.

What?

What's wrong?

Vincent.

Vincent!

Cathy? Are you all right?

No. No.

What a night.

Nance, I'm sorry.

Don't be silly.

It just tears me apart

that we can never share a life together.

You're sure there's nothing else you can do?

I'm sure.

Maybe it's enough.

I want a home like this

and children and a family.

It's sad knowing that that may never be.

We all make our tough choices.

Don't you think there are days and nights

when I regret not having gone to Paris to study?

Not ever doing something with my photography?

I was good.

You were better than good.

I'll never know where I could have taken that.

Cath, I love my life.

I love being a mother, but it's not the only path.

It was a hard adjustment.

Paul and I have been through some sticky times.

Don't think I haven't had my doubts.

Hmm.

I guess the anniversary of my mom's death

reminded me of all those choices.

It's forced me to take a look at myself and wonder,

"What she would think of me?"

Would she be proud?

Does my life honor her memory?

All those things.

I don't know.

I know.

I know what she'd think, because I know what I think.

Cathy, of all of us, you're the one that's come

the greatest distance and gone the farthest.

I mean, when you were in law school,

we used to joke about you majoring in fashion law.

You've overcome a terrible accident.

You've changed your life.

Now you're giving to others.

And you have this extraordinary relationship.

You should be so proud of yourself.

We're all so proud.

And to hell with what anybody else thinks

about what you should or shouldn't do.

I mean, when all is said and done,

you've got to follow your heart.

It's the only thing you can ever really count on.

That's what Vincent always says.

Will we ever meet him?

I'm beginning to think that anything is possible.

I think I'm going to head back to New York.

Right now?

Yes.

But it's 4:00 am.

I need to get back.

There's not a train until 5:20.

Could I borrow your car?

You're serious.

You said, "Follow your heart."

I can't wait.

All right, sure, take the car.

Paul can pick it up

on Monday.

Oh, thanks, Nance, for everything.

Oh, forgive me.

Forgive me for doubting.

What we have is all that matters.

It's worth everything.

Everything.