Original subtitles

Starring James Arness as Matt Dillon.

What in the Sam Hill are you trying to do,

you knuckleheaded stump skunk?!

I hope you turn that rig over and roll halfway to Dodge City,

you good-for-nothing flea merchant.

Giddap.

There's times when a Haggen just don't realize his own powers.

I wouldn't make a sudden move, stranger.

Well, not if I was you, I wouldn't.

You're looking at about

the slowest-moving critter that ever lived.

He ain't one of them, Uncle Angus.

I told you to stay put and to stay shut.

But this here's the fella

we pert near run over back down the trail.

That's true.

I got a good look at him.

Well, it is true you're not one of them I recollect,

but you could be a hired gun for 'em.

I could be, but I ain't.

How could he be hired by 'em when he was in front of us

and they was behind us all the way?

Now look, laddie, when I want any lip from you,

I'll ask for it.

Still,

what you say does make sense.

Of course it does.

I ain't one of them fellers that shot them holes

in the back of your wagon. I...

whoever they are.

See, I-I come from Dodge City.

Uh... I'm a...

wagon builder.

Er... I used to be.

I-I mostly do repairs now for friends

and folks that needs my help.

You don't say.

Oh, yeah. Us Haggens knows more about building wagons

than the feller that invented them.

And I suppose you charge like a wounded buffalo.

Oh, golly Bill, no.

Just whatever a body's willing to pay.

See, I-I depend on my feller man.

I ain't never been cheated yet,

especially by somebody that's in

a heap of trouble and needs me to help 'em out.

Well, now, me name's Angus McTabbott.

This is Jocko, a sort of unofficial nephew

that, uh, sort of adopted me some few months back.

I'm Festus Haggen.

Well, why don't we have a look at that wagon wheel?

Yes.

- Oh, hello, Doc. - Matt.

Come on in.

Be with you in a minute there.

I just got a little paperwork to finish here.

Well, if your paperwork's going off to Washington,

you've missed the train.

The next one isn't till tomorrow morning. You know that.

Yeah, I know.

What's all the rush?

Got to get done some time.

Well, do you suppose you could take time out

for a cup of coffee?

Oh, that sounds good.

By golly, you seem to be taking this awful calm.

What's that?

Well, Festus... New job and everything,

new newspaper gonna open up here.

Didn't you hear about that?

Oh, yeah, he was in here first thing.

Wanted me to check up on this fella.

I think McTabbott was his name.

Wanted him to find out if he's wanted by the law.

Yeah, well, is he?

No, not as near as I could figure.

Pretty good, isn't it?

He stops and helps somebody out on the prairie

fix a wagon wheel or something, winds up with a job.

Yeah.

And a newspaper reporter at that.

Reporter?

Well, yeah. Thought you said you knew about it.

No, I didn't know about that.

I thought he... I thought he was gonna sweep out, or...

What's he gonna report?

He can't even read or write.

Well, I tell you one thing.

One word he can spell,

and I got a hunch he's gonna be spelling it.

That's trouble.

Oh.

Must not be a bullet left in Hays City.

I got that there sign nailed up, Mr. McAngus.

It's McTabbott.

Angus is me first name.

Well, fiddle, it don't make no difference.

You knowed who I was talking about, didn't you?

That's not the point, Mr. Haggen.

Accuracy. It's the very lifeblood of a newspaper.

Well, when we was a-loading up them bottles this morning,

you told me that printer's ink was.

A different metaphor for a different occasion.

As a reporter, you just remember this.

No matter what you say about anybody,

always remember to spell their name right.

Well, I-I've been meaning to tell you about that,

'cause we just could have us some trouble

about that from time to time.

Trouble? Why should there be trouble?

You can always ask a man his name, can't you?

Or ask someone who knows him?

Well, it ain't that,

'cause I know everybody's name for miles around.

Like I was telling you,

I know everything there is to know about Dodge City,

upside down and backwards and crosswise and sidewise, but...

Then what trouble could we have?

Well, it-it ain't gonna make no difference

that I don't know how to read,

'cause I'm gonna know what's in the paper,

but this here spelling thing... it...

Are you saying you can't write?

Growed man, and you don't know how to write?

Well, I reckon you can.

Sure. It's easy.

Smart aleck.

Now, wait a minute.

I need a reporter that knows this town inside out

to get the right kind of stories

that'll make folks sit up and bark for more.

Hmm. And to sell advertising, too.

Advertising? What's that?

Oh, I'll tell you about that presently.

So, it doesn't matter that you can't write.

Jock here will do it for you.

Well, I quit.

I ain't gonna have that little ol' scamp

a-following me around.

You don't have to.

You can tell him your story right here in the office,

and he can either write them down, or set 'em up in print.

Yeah, but how would I know

that he's gonna write down what I tell him to?

Because if he doesn't, he knows exactly what'll happen to him.

I'd get whaled, I reckon.

Ah. Within an inch of your life, laddie.

Within an inch of your life.

Well, just long as he ain't underfoot all the time.

He ain't.

Isn't.

Well, then I reckon you'd better start to telling me

what advertising means, Mr. McAngus.

It's McTabbott.

Angus is his first name.

Now, there we are, Mrs. Preeker.

- Just put it right there. - All right.

And we put this one.

Right, I think you better hold it. That's it.

- Now, hold it tight. - All right. I...

One more package now, and slip it right under there.

Thanks. You're all set.

- All right. - All right, all set.

- Thank you, Jonas. - Ah.

Oh, look out!

- That's the window. - Oh.

- Here's the door right over here. - Oh. This.

I'm sorry I couldn't help you out with the packages,

but my back's been plaguing me all week.

- There we go. That's just... - All right, Jonas.

Good-bye.

Look out!

Golly Bill, it's hard to tell

whether that's a human being or a pack mule, ain't it?

You know, that's a very fine lady, Festus.

She's real quality, that woman.

Always pays cash.

Two dollars and 37 cents she just spent.

Some weeks'll go even higher.

Jonas, by a remarkable act of fate,

you might call it,

that's what I've came here to talk to you about.

You mean about Mrs. Preeker?

- No, about money. - Oh.

Well, now, Festus, I'm just sorry as all get-out,

but business hasn't been too good,

- so I couldn't see my way clear to... - Well, no.

Just hold your 'taters now.

It ain't what you think.

Now, I came here to help you.

No, well, I-I can't afford help.

I-I can barely make ends meet, see?

Well, then, I'm just the feller you'd ought to talk to.

Now, Festus, there is not enough work here

to keep two of us busy.

Jonas, I ain't asking for no job.

I done got me a job.

You have?

Well, of course I have.

I am the Dodge City Clarion, The Voice of Truth.

You don't mean to tell me...?

Well, I do mean to.

You ever heared of advertising?

Yeah, I've heard of it, I-I reckon,

more or less, you might say.

All right, here's something you ain't heared.

There's more millionaires that's got their selves rich

over advertising than you could shake a stick at.

Well, Festus, I ain't got nothing against being rich.

All right, you just perk up your ears,

'cause I'm fixing to explain to you how she works.

Oh?

You see, when a feller's got some goods in his store...

I ought to whop the daylights out of you.

What for?

For being late again. I...

Oh.

Oh, I thought that you was the young'un.

Oh. No, I'm afraid not. My name's Matt Dillon.

I'm the United States Marshal here in Dodge.

You, uh, Angus McTabbott by any chance?

I am.

And what can I do for you, Marshal?

Well, I'd like to ask you a couple of questions.

About what?

Well, about, uh, what was the last town

you were in and why did you leave?

Why, uh, I was in Hays City, Marshal.

And you might say I left there... Well, to better meself.

A man's got to get ahead, Marshal.

Uh-huh. You know, I, uh,

I dug those three bullets out of the tailgate of your wagon.

I was just wondering if that might have had any bearing

on your, uh, decision to leave Hays.

Marshal, you might've noticed that I call my newspaper

The Voice of Truth.

And that's just what it is.

I print the truth, the whole truth

and nothing but the truth.

But sometimes it seems

to rub folks the wrong way.

Well-meaning folks.

They just can't take it.

Meaning?

They run me out of town.

Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

Marshal, I'm an honest man.

To me, a fact is a fact, and I call it just that.

And if some people can't stand it,

well, there's nothing I can do about it.

What's this you got here? Is this the new edition?

Yes, the front page. Now, how do you like it?

Well, I don't like that.

And I'll tell you somebody that's gonna like it

a whole lot less is-is Merl Benlan!

Merl Benlan, now let me...

He's that rancher I was telling you about!

Got his start a-rustling cattle over in East Texas.

Ah, yes, that one.

You can't print that.

Why not? Festus here says it's true.

Well, of course it is, Matthew.

Everybody knows that.

Well, they think they know it, but it happened a long time ago.

It's been forgotten.

Now, it's water under the bridge.

But if it's the truth...

It doesn't matter whether it's the truth or not.

People aren't gonna like it.

And you two are liable to get yourselves shot.

Ol' Merl does come to a boil

pretty fast once in a while.

Marshal, 'tis the duty of the press to print the truth.

And it's the duty of the law to protect honest citizens

going about their lawful business.

Mm-hmm.

Well, now, let me ask you something, Mr. McTabbott.

Did the law protect you in Hays City?

There wasn't any law.

At least none worth mentioning.

Mm-hmm, and I'll bet you didn't hesitate to print that

in your paper, probably on the front page.

A fact, sir, is a fact.

Well, maybe ol' Merl won't even read this paper.

You want to bet?

Well, Matthew, if you think this little ol' item

is gonna stir up a ruckus, wait till you see

some of the things I've dug up.

I've got me some pearl button bangle Billies right here.

Uh-huh.

Well, sorry to hear that, Festus.

You know, I'd kind of gotten used to you.

I'm gonna miss you around here.

Oh, I ain't figuring on leaving town or...

You still intend to go on printing

these articles then, I take it, Mr. McTabbott?

Marshal, if I have a fault,

it's being too honest.

- Truth is the truth and ju... - All right. All right.

"Truth is truth."

Welcome to Dodge, Mr. McTabbott.

- Thank you, sir. - Yeah.

Good luck to you.

All right, let's have a look at the rest of those articles.

We've got a newspaper to bring out.

Get your Dodge City Clarion, The Voice of Truth!

Get your Clarion!

Get your Clarion! The Dodge City Clarion!

The Voice of Truth!

Is Festus Haggen in here?!

Oh, there you are.

Howdy, Mr. Benlan.

You want to get shot here

or come out in the street for it?

Well, what would I be getting shot for?

For this!

You white-livered groundhog!

What give you the idea you could call me a cattle rustler

and get away with it?!

Is that what it says in the paper there, is it?

You know that's what it says!

Well, how could I know that

when I can't read.

You don't have to read!

It says here you're the reporter for the local news!

You're the one that put it in the paper!

Well, how could I do that when I can't write?

You keep talking, you'll claim you can't breathe.

And when I get through with you, it'll be the truth!

Now, wait a minute, Mr. Benlan.

Now, you just ain't got no idea

the trouble that we've had

to getting that paper started in this town.

You're running into one of them right now!

Oh, oh, but, Mr. Benlan...

why, we've even got a nine-year-old boy

that's wrote some of them items,

been a-setting up the type for us.

Are you saying a nine-year-old boy

wrote this story?!

That's what I'm saying.

How would a nine-year-old boy know about me rustling

them cattle back in East Texas before he was even born?!

I've been wondering about that myself.

Fact is I'm fixing to ask him that.

Now, look it here, Haggen.

I don't know nothing about no nine-year-old boy.

But I know what I want from you right here right now!

I want a public apology!

Now, start talking!

Now, Merl, hold it!

Now, put the gun down.

Go on.

Now, Merl, you know better than to go around town

stirring up trouble.

It's him that's stirring up the trouble!

Him and that-that-that-that out-of-towner he's working for!

And it ain't just me!

They've made a lot of folks around this town

madder than hornets!

Merl, I, uh, I know all about it.

But you know your running around waving a gun at people,

that's not gonna solve anything.

Now, why don't you go on over and have a beer and cool off?

Some other time, Marshal.

"Nine-year-old boy."

Haggen, you've not heard the last of this!

You wait!

Well, Festus?

Ah, big blowhard,

a-huffing and a-puffing.

He don't scare me none.

Mm-hmm. Well, now, let me tell you something.

As near as I can figure from reading this morning's paper,

there's gonna be about six or eight other people

who feel just that way.

Matthew, there ain't nothing in that paper that ain't the truth.

Well, that's fine, but you know, there's other ways

of handling the truth besides spreading it

all over the front pages of the newspaper.

Well, good morning, gentlemen.

Miss Kitty.

Kitty, what are you doing with all that sugar?

You gonna bake a cake for the whole community?

Well, I'll use it up eventually.

But at the price I just couldn't resist.

"Price"? What do you mean?

Well, didn't you read the notice in the paper

about the general store?

Jonas has got a special price on sugar today.

Half-price.

"Half-price"?

Well, it costs him more than that.

What's the matter... Is he crazy or something?

I don't know.

All I know is I saved 80 cents on the deal.

I'm gonna put this away. I'll be back in a minute.

"Notice in the paper," huh?

Festus, you wouldn't by any chance have any idea

why Jonas is selling, uh, sugar at half-price, would you?

Well, of course I do. It's on account of advertising.

"Advertising"?

Yeah. Mr. McAngus explained me.

And then I explained Jonas.

Yeah, would you mind to, uh, explain me?

Oh, be glad to, Matthew.

You see, it's easy once you get the hang of it.

Now, what a feller does, he goes to work

and he puts an advertisement in the paper

saying that he's fixing to sell sugar for half-price today.

And that brings folks from all over

that ain't never been in his store before.

Well, that's true.

Clab Chummer has his store at one end of town

and Jonas has his at the other.

They don't usually change customers too much.

Yeah, bu-but you see, that's where the advertising comes in.

'Cause all them folks that's a-been a-trading

at old Clab's store,

they read this here notice in the paper,

and they just come a-hightailing it over to ol' Jonas' store

to buy that cheap sugar, see?

Well, I'll tell you, Festus,

that sounds fine except for one thing.

What?

You wind up with one more man wanting to take a shot at you.

Don't you understand for every customer

that Jonas gets, Clab Chummers loses one.

And if you think that Merl here's got a temper,

well, he's a baby compared to Clab Chummers

when he gets mad.

Seems to me you only got one problem.

Which one of them's gonna put a hole in you first!

Hey, Jonas, what'd I tell you?

You tell me later.

I got folks going out that door empty-handed.

Here!

Take this. Give me a hand.

Well, fiddle, I don't know the prices nor nothing.

All right, ask somebody or make a guess.

Well, I didn't...

Uh... in the paper bus...

Is there something I can help you with, ma'am?

No, there is not!

Jonas?

It appears your old customers don't matter no more!

Oh, I'm real sorry, Mrs. Preeker.

What can I do for you?

Well, nothing that you couldn't have done

30 minutes ago if you'd a mind to.

Well, I'm real sorry, but you see how it is.

Now, what do we have on our shopping list today?

I ain't got no list!

A body can't shop decent-like

with the place swarming with strangers!

I know one thing you're gonna want!

I got a new shipment of dried apricots!

The best crop in years.

I don't want no apricot!

All I want is sugar.

"Sugar"?

How much did you want Mrs. Preeker?

20 pounds.

"20 pounds"?!

Yes, and I want someone

to help me tote it to the buggy!

Yes, ma'am. I...

I'll sack it for you.

Excuse me.

Oh, fiddle.

What is them consarned things anyhow?

They are sponges.

Bath sponges.

Oh.

Well, here, you just put them in this poke and take them home.

But I don't want to buy a shopping bag!

It's for free!

So's them things whatever they are.

- And you just enjoy them. - Well, I never...

- And come back again real soon. - Well, I, well, I never...

- Would you? Because... - Well, thank you, Festus.

Clab! Well, h-how are you, Clab?

Well, if I ever saw

a bunch of sneaking, lowdown,

cheating turncoats

I'm looking at them now!

- Clab? - You know the ones I mean.

The ones that sold me out for a mess of pottage,

and come down here to trade.

After all the years I've been treating you fair and square!

Clab Chummer, get out of my store!

I got as much right to be here as the next man.

Who knows? I may want to buy a pound of sugar!

I'm all out.

It wouldn't surprise me.

I'd sure like to know who put you up to this, Jonas?

You're not smart enough to think of it yourself!

And if I ever get my hands on him, I'll...

That's enough!

Clab, you get moving!

Don't worry.

I'm leavin'.

It isn't pleasant to stand here

and see those that you called friends

collecting their 30 pieces of silver.

Git, git!

All right!

If that's the way you want it,

I'm going to cut the price of sugar

ten cents a pound, not eight,

and I'm taking four cents a pound

off of the price of flour.

Get out!

And that goes for Jonas' customers as well as my own.

We Should go over to his store to shop.

Clab. Clab.

Say, have you ever heared of advertising?

I mean, like in the paper where you put

a special thing in the paper...

Jonas, what are you fixing to put in the paper

for advertising next week?

Can't make no special on sugar

'cause everybody's done stocked up on that.

Festus, stay out of them peanuts.

How many customers would you say come in this store today?

Oh... maybe 300.

Maybe even more than that.

It's hard to say.

Pert near every one of them went out with something, too.

I just worked my fool legs off

trying to keep up with this business.

Well, I know you did.

You must have made a washtub full of money.

I lost $18.43,

and that doesn't count them peanuts you set there and et.

You lost...?

Well, there was a heap of folks come in here

and they bought a heap of stuff.

They just was a-carrying it out of there in armloads.

Yes, they was.

And most of it was sugar.

I haven't got a pound of sugar in the store,

and I don't get another shipment for three weeks.

You and your advertisement.

That cheap sugar, that-that'll bring 'em in,

and then they'll just buy all kinds of other goods.

A fat lot you know about customers.

And don't you ask me

what I'm going to put in that paper next week.

I ain't gonna put nothing in it,

not next week, not any week ever.

Jonas, I know how you feel, but...

but the way things stand now

you're just gonna have to do some advertising next week.

Why?

Because Clab's a-fixing to.

Well, when you see some of the specials he's got,

it'll just curl your hair.

Fine. Let him go broke if he wants to.

Yeah, but then you ain't gonna have no customers at all.

I'll lock that door, I'll go fishing.

Wait a minute, Jonas.

Now, let's not lose our heads.

We gotta figure something out here.

♪♪

Got me a idea.

I don't want to hear it.

Supposing you was to go to work

and mark everything in the store down ten cents.

Are you trying to bankrupt me?

Wait a minute now, I ain't done yet.

Before you do that, you go to work

and you mark everything in the store up 15 cents.

This is even more harebrained then...

Get your Clarion, Dodge City Clarion,

The Voice of Truth!

Get your Clarion,

The Voice of Truth!

The Voice of Truth! Get your Clarion!

Dodge City Clarion, The Voice of Truth!

Get your Clarion.

Dodge City Clarion...

Here, son, I'll take that.

I'm going back for some more.

I'll be right back.

Hmph.

Well, I wonder who Festus' new enemies are today.

Yeah, I would like to know that myself.

He might print one of those personal stories about me.

Say... I'll bet they'd be kind of spicy.

I'd like to read some of them.

Oh, you would, would you?

Well, what about you?

What about me?

Well, Festus could probably tell him

a few things about you.

Well, Festus couldn't...

He couldn't...

Maybe I ought to get one of those papers.

♪♪

Good morning, sir.

Morning.

Uh, these for sale?

Yes, sir, they most certainly are.

That'll be three cents, please.

Well, that's a penny higher than the other paper.

And worth it.

Thank you.

I take it you're a businessmen.

Well, you ought to know.

I got an advertisement here in your paper,

Clab Chummer's General Store.

Of course. Mr. Chummer.

You dealt with our Mr. Haggen.

If you mean Festus,

that scalawag has given me more trouble in the last week

than I've had in a month of Sundays.

Him and you together.

Chummer...

Clab Chummer...

Chummer!

McTabbott!

McTabbott...

Open this door, McTabbott?!

Open up.

Open up!

McTabbott!

Open this door!

There we are, now. Much obliged, too.

And you come again, now.

All right, who's next?

Why, Mrs. Preeker. How nice to see you.

Don't you soft-soap me.

I've learned the truth.

Oh, that's nice.

I-I'm glad to hear it.

Shut up, you mealymouthed old weasel.

Please... shh.

Please, nothing.

I know all about you.

Uh, Mrs. Preeker, I saved something for you.

Five pounds of fresh honey.

It's here in the back room.

Are you out of your mind?

You're not going to get me in that back room.

You'd probably knock me in the head

to keep me from telling what I've just heard!

Essie Benlan told me what you're up to.

Shh, not so loud. Now, we can work this out...

Oh, you're not going to shush me, Jonas.

Listen!

Listen, everybody!

Did you hear what this old goat just done?

He marked everything up before he marked it down,

and these special prices today

are higher than the old ones.

Please, now... now, don't listen to her.

Why, you know how Mrs. Preeker is when she gets upset.

Well.

Do you recollect what these were selling for last week?

Well, I do, because I bought some of them.

They was five cents a pound

and now they're ten.

You was trying to pull a cheat on us, and you know it.

Well, if the rest of you want to stay around here

and shop and be cheated, that's your business.

But I'm not going to.

When you get right down to it,

it wasn't as much Jonas' fault

as it is that newspaper's in town.

- Just like Merl Benlan said. - Heh, um...

Everything was just fine

until that newspaper started throwing rocks in the pond.

Marshal, you ought to arrest that fellow McTabbott.

Um, yes, ma'am, I'm-I'm gonna think about that.

Hmph!

Well, Jonas?

Well, you heard it.

It's true.

I lost money on that fool scheme last week.

I was just trying to get even.

Well, that doesn't sound like you.

Oh, I don't know what I was thinking about, Marshal,

but when Festus described it, it appeared like it made sense.

Festus, huh?

So he's behind this, too?

Well, it's no more his fault than it is mine.

Marshal, it's that gol-danged newspaper that's to blame.

How do you figure that?

Oh, bringing them newfangled ideas

like advertising and so and so.

Look, that may work Back East,

but that's not our way of life.

Jonas, where's all your customers at?

You know I just may never have no more customers,

thanks to your half-baked schemes?

Something go wrong, did it?

It sure as shooting did.

Festus, what's it going to take

'fore you come to your senses?

Well, golly Bill, Matthew.

I was just trying to help ol' Jonas.

I wasn't figuring to...

Jonas Finch!

Come on out of there, you slither-bellied snake!

That's Clab Chummer.

Well, what's the matter, Jonas?

If you've got nerve enough to lie about a man,

you ought to have nerve enough to back it up.

Now, I have took just all I can today.

I'm going out there and shoot.

Jonas!

I knew you were a liar,

but I didn't think you were a coward, too!

All right, Clab, this is Matt Dillon.

Hold your fire, I'm coming out.

Jonas, you just put the gun down.

You're not going anywhere.

I, uh...

I, uh, I didn't know you was in there, Marshal.

Well, now, stop acting like an idiot and give me that gun.

But-but he's got it coming to him!

I'm not going to ask you again.

Now let's go on inside.

I want to get to the bottom of this.

So do I.

You know, you're just lucky you're alive, Clab Chummer.

If the marshal hadn't of stopped me,

I'd come out and blowed your head off.

If you'd have stuck your head out that door,

I'd've shot you so full of holes,

you could read this newspaper through you.

All right, now, just hold on a minute, the both of you.

Now, Clab, what got you so riled up?

I'll tell you what it's all about.

I'll, uh, I'll read you what it's all about.

Listen to this.

"The way we get it,

"if Clab Chummers wants to learn

"just what breed of mangy polecat canine

"he is descended from,

"he ought to ask Jonas Finch.

"We've been informed that Jonas made

some real strong remarks on the subject."

That was last week

when you come in here and got me all mad.

And that ain't what I said anyway,

but I didn't know it was going to be in the newspaper.

Festus is the only one heard me say it.

Hey, wait a minute.

Where is Festus, anyway?

Oh, he's standing over here behind the door, he's...

Well, he was right there.

He just snuck out.

And do you know why he did it?

He knew what was coming.

He's the one that put this story in the paper.

Mr. Chummer,

I reckon you'd better get back over to the store.

That crowd is giving me a rough time.

- I can't handle them. - What's the matter?

Well, it appears like somebody found out

that you marked things up higher before you marked 'em down.

Clab!

You, too?

I guess we'd better get over there.

Marshal, ain't nobody honest no more?

Mr. McAngus?

It's me, Festus.

Mr... Mr. McAng...

Born troublemaker, that's what he is.

Sure ain't no sign of life.

Nope.

McTabbott!

McTabbott!

Near suppertime.

Maybe he went to get himself some grub.

Ah, we can come back.

We got plenty of time.

Meanwhile, we'll round up Slim and Tex

and the rest of the boys.

The more the merrier.

"The Voice of Truth..."

Mr. McAngus.

It's me, Festus.

Festus, stop that racket.

Go 'round the back, you fool.

Did you hear them fellas talking out yonder?

I did.

Well, you and me ain't a bit popular in this town.

So I've been hearing.

Well, what are you figuring on doing about it?

Truth is never popular,

here or anywhere else, Mr. Haggen.

Honesty has its price,

and people just don't want to face up to it.

But I intend to do something about it.

Well, what are you fixing to do?

We're getting out of town!

I didn't ask you.

Is that what you're fixing to do?

- Yeah. - Well, what about me?

I'll pay you three days' extra in lieu of notice.

Well, what good's three days' extra pay gonna do me

when there's a half a dozen fellers around town

a-fixing to shoot me?

Maybe you should leave town, too.

Well, I can't leave town!

I live here. Leastwise, I did.

Ah, these are times for soul-searching, Mr. Haggen.

You know, this might be a very excellent opportunity for me

to sneak my wagon over from the livery barn.

You start breaking down the press.

Now, wait a minute!

You're still in my employ,

Mr. Haggen.

So, hop to it. Hop to it!

When my uncle sets his mind,

there ain't nobody that can argue with him.

I don't even try.

Well, I'll tell you this.

If he tries to pack up and leave now,

he ain't even gonna get to the edge of town.

My uncle just won't stay no place

where folks got larceny in their hearts.

Well, I don't know about that, but let me tell you

something about some of these folks in Dodge.

They're the greediest, cheatingest, double-dealingest

bunch of yay-hoos that I have ever saw and if I...

You're a real good cusser, Mr. Haggen.

Never mind that! Now, you put them things back up

in there and start to setting up this type.

'Cause we're gonna get us a paper out.

We're gonna put us out a one-page special, uh...

Now, all you do is just write down

whatever I'm a-telling you to write, you hear me?

Gold! Gold! Gold! Special edition!

Read all about the big gold strike!

Gold! Gold! Gold!

Get your Clarion! Gold!

Let's hear it! Gold!

Gold! Gold! Gold!

Get your Clarion!

Read all about the big gold strike!

Get your Clarion! Dodge City Clarion!

The Voice of Truth!

Gold strike! Gold! Gold!

Gold! There's been a gold strike!

Where about?

Pueblo Flats.

Always figured there was gold in Pueblo Flats!

- And I was right! - Oh, sure you are.

Could I see that paper?

This cost me a dollar! Get your own, mister!

Well, I suppose you're gonna join the gold rush, huh?

Why should I?

If they find any, they're gonna bring it right back here.

Well, that's a fact.

Say, there's gold out there. Let's go find it!

- Yeah! -Yeah, let's go! - Let's go!

Wait!

Where's this gold they're talking about?!

Pueblo Flats!

That's a hundred miles away!

What's a hundred miles when there's gold out there?

Well, I never saw anything like it.

It takes just one word to turn a bunch

of normal people into maniacs... "gold."

You suppose there really is a strike?

There's no doubt about it.

Says so in The Clarion, The Voice of Truth.

That's exactly what I mean.

Where are you going?

Got not time to talk, Essie!

Merl, you come right back here!

I'll write you in a few days!

Hyah! Hyah!

Merl!

Did you hear about the big gold strike?

Well, in a manner of speaking, I did.

Ain't you going on it?

Ah, fiddle, no.

The way I figure it, you can't believe

everything you read in the paper.

Well, ain't you the strange one?

I wouldn't miss it for anything myself.

Festus!

Get in here!

What in the name of Tophet are you up to?

We sure got them stirred up, didn't we, Mr. McAngus?

What do you mean "we"?

What I mean is the paper did.

Look, I left you here to break down the press,

and instead you-you...

Well, leastwise it give us time to get the wagon packed up.

Them folks ain't worrying about us.

They all got gold on their brains, see?

Well, why didn't you tell me about this strike

instead of spreading it all around town?

What strike?

Are you saying...?

Do you mean to tell...?

Did you?

Let me in!

- Give me 20 more papers! - You all out of them?

Boy, you sure had the right idea, Mr. Haggen.

- Yeah? - They're buying them like hotcakes!

They are? Well, get the money out!

I reckon this'll be the last bunch though.

There ain't hardly nobody left in town!

Here's the money for the last bunch.

Get it out there! Get all of it out!

Hurry up! Hurry up!

Get on out there and start selling the rest of them!

- Now, go! Get... - Gold!

Gold! Gold!

Big gold rush!

How much is he charging for them?

A dollar a piece.

We done made $320!

And we ain't even done yet! Shoot!

We're gonna make more money than all them yay-hoos

out yonder looking for gold.

It ain't honest.

Well, I don't reckon it is honest, but it's a heap better

than getting your tailgate shot full of bullet holes.

Now, come on. I'll help you pack your wagon.

Well, come on!

It ain't honest.

Mario, I believe this here is the best stew

I've ever eat in here.

Tastes like you're using real beef

instead of burro meat.

Fact is, it's so good,

I'm fixing to have a second helping.

Mario?

Mario?!

Well, I'll be a son of...

That's scudder's gone out

on that gold rush.

Some folks ain't got sense enough

to pound sand for a rat hole.

Oh, howdy, Matthew.

Hello, Festus.

Say, if you ain't had supper yet,

they's some purty good stew here.

You got to spoon it up yourself.

There ain't nobody here but me.

Well, no, I guess I'll just have a cup of coffee.

Kind of, uh, I'm kind of surprised

to see you here, Festus.

Well, where else would I be?

Well, out there with the rest of them

at, uh, Pueblo Flats.

Fiddle, I ain't lost nothing out yonder.

Well, I think most of them figure

to find something out there, don't they?

Well, I heared what it said in the paper.

But I just figured it was kind of a wild harrin'

A wild herring?

Well, just because it's in the paper,

ain't no sign it's true.

You mean to tell me that you think

that Angus McTabbott is a liar?

Well, no.

No, he's honest all right, but it just could've been

that something got printed in the paper

that he didn't know about, you know,

kind of by accident-like.

Mm-hmm.

I'd sure like for you to tell me

how that could be an accident.

Matthew, you hadn't ought to ask me things like that.

They's such a thing

as professional loyalty, you know.

Yes, sir, Festus, you know, I, I sure do admire

your sense of professional loyalty.

But I tell you, I don't think you have

to worry about that anymore.

I was just by the Clarion office over there,

and it looked to me like old Angus had just,

just packed up his equipment and left town.

You don't say so!

Without even so much as a howdy-do or a good-bye?

Yep.

Huh.

Sure hard to figure a feller like that, ain't it?

Well, at least now you don't have to worry

about the professional loyalty.

Well, Matthew,

it just could be that Mr. McAngus is a-figuring

on opening up a paper in another town, see?

And he's a-fixing to write me

to where to come to work for him.

So, till I hear from him, well, I'll just keep on

like I'm still working for him.

Festus, I'll tell you something.

You've got an awful strong sense of honor there.

- Yep. - Well, I try to have.

You know, I think there might be

something to this idea you had

about-about this story being printed

without Angus knowing about it.

What makes you think that?

Well, a man like he is, stranger to Dodge and all,

he'd have no way of knowing

all those stories about Pueblo Flats

and all the gold that's supposed to be down there.

Well, I ain't sure I know

just what you're talking about, Matthew.

Well, now, the surest way to get about half of Dodge

out on a wild-goose chase

would be to print an article in the newspaper

about a gold strike down in Pueblo Flats.

But, you see, uh,

it'd have to be a local man,

somebody that, uh, knew all about that place.

A-Anybody in mind in particular, Matthew?

Oh, uh, not exactly.

I'll tell you one thing, though.

I'm sure glad you weren't mixed up in it.

Oh, that crowd's gonna be mean

when they get back here.

You know, they're gonna want to tar and feather somebody.

And I don't say that I blame them.

You reckon they will be?

You know, there's one good thing came out of it though.

It gives Angus a chance to kind of slip out of town quiet-like

without all this, uh,

ill favor coming to a head.

Well, that's the whole idea, Matthew... uh...

I mean, when that article got printed

kind of accident-like, you might say.

I sure hope they never

find out who printed it.

Say, you know, ol' Thad's been after me

for the last week or two to go a-hunting with him.

And I kind of promised him I'd go.

- That so? - Fact is

he asked me about it just the other day.

So, I think I'll go

look him up.

Well...

Wait a minute!

Aren't you even gonna finish your supper?

Oh, no, I done ate all I want. I...

I told ol' Thad I'd meet him.

And you know how it is.

A promise is a promise.

Yes, sir, Festus.

A promise is a promise.