Original subtitles

Starring James Arness as Matt Dillon.

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♪♪

I didn't kill him, Ordman.

Ordman, I didn't kill him!

You ran, Shobin.

You ran and left my brother to die.

I didn't have no choice, Ordman.

The marshal had us... had us both pinned down.

Sure.

Yeah, well, if-if I hadn't... if I hadn't have run,

they'd... they'd have... they'd have hanged me.

Well, you ain't gonna have to worry no more

about hanging, Shobin!

Ordman... help me...

I ain't got time, Shobin.

I got an appointment with the marshal of Dodge City.

♪♪

How you reckon he does that?

I don't know, but it isn't easy.

Just a little bit of milk in that batter'd help it.

Well, there's probably more to it than that, Festus.

Well, maybe just a pinch of baking powder.

Well, they taste good going down...

It's after they get down there

that they start to giving you a fit.

Well, tell me, what do you eat 'em for, then?

Well, next to coffee in the morning,

they ain't nothing smells better a-cookin'

than a batch of griddle cakes.

Well, maybe you ought to just smell them, then.

Whoa!

Morning, Festus, Marshal.

- Howdy. - Howdy, Malachi.

Ain't it a fine morning, though?

Seems like you're back a little bit early

this time, aren't you, Malachi?

Fertilizer company man's a-comin' by today.

Good.

Well, I better get my stuff loaded.

Looks like you're gonna do all right this time, Malachi.

This here ought to bring it up to near seven dollars' worth.

Well, being a regular spendthrift,

that ought to last you a couple weeks.

Not that long, Festus.

I done worked up a considerable thirst picking up these bones.

A considerable thirst.

Just a great big circle, ain't it?

What is?

Well, uh, picking up bones makes you thirsty...

- Yeah. - And being thirsty keeps you broke,

and a-bein' broke makes you have to go back and get more bones.

Ain't it the truth?

Sure is a good life, though, ain't it?

Well, it ain't bad.

Leastwise everything comes out even, don't it?

I done told you, Festus,

I sure could use you for a partner.

Uh, well, I'd... I'd like to help you out, Malachi,

but... I just been so dang busy here lately, I...

Well, you think on it some; maybe you change your mind.

Come on over and let me buy you a drink.

It's a little bit early for me.

Well... there sure is a sight worse things

a fella can put in his belly in the morning.

I think I'll just grit my teeth

and try to hold off till noon.

Much obliged anyhow.

Noon?

Maybe you wouldn't be too good a partner after all.

Come on over to the Long Branch later.

We'll swap a lie or two.

- Yeah? - All right.

- I'll see you over yonder later. - Giddyap!

That Malachi...

he's a regular pearl button bangle Billy, ain't he, Matthew?

Yeah. He sure seems to be fond of you, Festus.

Oh, yeah, he even wants me to be his partner.

Well, say, that might not be a bad idea.

Keep you out of trouble.

Aw, fiddle, Matthew,

ain't enough buffalo bones to go around.

Now, look, I want you to keep an eye on things

around town for me, Festus, while I'm down in Spearville.

Course I will.

You better watch old Malachi, too,

to see that he doesn't get in trouble.

Malachi?!

Why, you know he never stirs up any kind of a ruckus, Matthew.

Eh, well... I'll see you later, Festus.

Keep your chin to the wind.

♪♪

Psst!

Hey...

Boy, can you read writing?

Yes, sir.

Well, I broke my specs the other day,

and I can't make out who this is wrote to.

Could you help me out?

It says... "Ma... Ma..."

Marshal Dillon!

It was that second thing

that seemed a little "unreadsome" to me.

No, sir, not "Dillon."

That last word's "Harper."

Harper?

Yeah.

First one's "Ma...

- Ma..." - Malachi!

That's it... Malachi.

Malachi Harper.

Well, who in the tarnation

could be writing to him at the marshal's office, you reckon?

- Mister... - Huh?

You must be really lost without your specs.

Oh, no, I just use 'em to read with, that's all.

I don't know.

You're holding that letter upside down.

Go on and play.

The smarter the kids...

- Howdy. - Howdy.

Well, if you're tuckered as that horse you're riding,

you're welcome to get down and rest some.

Well, much obliged.

They's some beans there and coffee.

- You alone? - Yeah. I've been chasing

a wild stallion that's been bothering my mares.

They can be a nuisance, all right.

- You come far? - Mexico.

Well, that's far enough.

If I, uh, keep heading north, I'll hit Dodge, won't I?

Well, north and a mite east.

I doubt if you're gonna make it on that horse.

You know, you're right... I need a new mount.

I'll say you do.

That horse is wind-broke.

You been riding him pretty hard.

Well, I'd admire to be of help to you,

but, uh... I need mine to run down that stallion.

Won't make a trade, huh?

'Fraid not. That horse of yours is no good to me.

Yeah.

Then maybe you'll sell me one.

Well, now, I don't want to sound unreasonable,

but like I say, I need them. You see...

Malachi's still here?

And I think he's running a little low on cash.

Oh.

Well, I guess I better buy a round of drinks

for the whole house.

No, you don't do anything of the kind.

You're gonna come right in here,

and you're gonna step right up here at this bar

and take your medicine.

All right! Quit hounding me!

You are about to witness the millennium, Kitty. How are you?

- I'm about to witness a what? - Millennium.

He's gonna buy me a drink.

Aw, you talk like my foot's asleep.

I've boughten you drinks before.

Well, then...

Well, Doc, it looks like this is your lucky day,

'cause I'm gonna buy you a drink, too.

Oh, no, no, you're...

Oh, well, thanks anyway, Kitty, but he's gonna buy this drink,

and he's gonna pay for it, and I'm gonna watch it!

All right, Doc, I will!

I said I would, didn't I?

- Where'd Sam go? - Miss Kitty?

I done... I done come to say thanks, personal.

Well, it's my pleasure.

It was sure a friendly thing you done,

and I appreciate it, I do.

I appreciate it.

- Howdy, Doc. - Malachi.

Festus.

Malachi.

Oh, I got a letter here for you, sent to Matthew's office.

Letter?

For me?

Well, for heaven sakes.

This is for you.

Why in thunder does he have his mail

- sent to the marshal's... - I'm fixin' to, Doc!

You ought to have your mail sent general delivery.

You oughtn't to have it sent to the marshal's office.

Don't you know that, dumbbell?

Oh.

Well, I'll be switched.

Baltimore, Maryland.

That'd be my brother Ethan.

Long time since I done heard from him.

We ain't seen each other in going on to 35 year.

I didn't know he had a brother.

- I didn't, either. - No, he told me about him once.

He's some big, high-powered businessman,

- just richer than all git-out. - He is?

Well, what do you know about that.

And here's old Malachi been picking up buffalo bones

on the prairie to make a living.

What's wrong with that?

Well, I didn't say there was anything wrong with it!

You know, he earns his breakfast and dinner

- and supper every day, too. - Stop that!

Angels and saints!

Save this poor sinner!

What's the matter with him?

Well, is that good or bad?

I don't know. Sounds like he's got religion.

It's Ethan!

It's Ethan!

What about him?

He's a-comin' here to Dodge.

Why, that's wonderful.

Oh, no, Miss Kitty, it's terrible.

Why's that?

I done told you, Festus,

about all his high-toney ways,

about all the money he's got, remember?

Yeah...

Well, he's a-comin' out

to San Francisco to a big meeting,

and he's a-comin' by Dodge to see me.

Well, what's so terrible about that?

Oh, you don't understand.

Ethan...

Ethan was always...

the one folks has looked up to,

always the bright one.

Well, Ethan can't see me

here like this... not Ethan.

When's he gonna get here?

He's coming tomorrow.

Festus, you got to help me.

You got to hide me. Huh?

Course. You can stay at my place, if you want to.

Oh, that's purely a friendly thing to do, Festus.

Now, just a minute.

You can't hide from your own brother.

Miss Kitty, you just watch me.

Angels and saints, she's right.

I can't hide.

I just remembered.

Why's that?

Well, I told him I was a-doin' here in Dodge.

Well, it can't be that bad.

Miss Kitty, it's worse.

I done told Ethan...

Well, go on... what'd you say?

I done told Ethan I was...

the marshal of Dodge City.

Well, without a doubt, you're the biggest fool I ever saw.

Well, golly Bill, Doc, I had to do something to help him out.

Well, you didn't have to do a thing like that.

It's just for five hours.

I don't care if it's only for five minutes!

If he was gonna stay longer than that,

it'd be a different thing.

Well, now, suppose he decides to stay longer than that?

He can't! He's got to be in San Francisco!

He said that in his letter.

How do I look?

Well, don't ask me.

I ain't gonna get mixed up in this.

Malachi, I told you...

Under the coat.

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure.

Oh, yes, you are mixed up in this...

You and Miss Kitty done give me your word.

Well, that was before you got this silly idea.

- Oh, you got to have a gun. - A gun?

- A gun? - No, no, no, no, please, Festus.

Course! If you're marshal...

Hold your coat up, there, and keep still.

No, I'm scared to death of them of them things.

I ain't never shot one of them in my life.

Well, you don't have this one, neither.

I don't want to wear it, either.

Festus, don't put no bullets in it.

Just keep it in your scabbard.

You ain't gonna have to use it.

You hope.

There. Now.

How's he look now?

Ridiculous.

Let's see, I told Sam...

Hank, Delmonico's...

I reckon I told everybody.

Festus, I ain't never gonna forget you for this.

Just never mind that.

You ready to get started?

I reckon.

Festus...

- What? - Just a teeny weeny...

- Not so much as a whiff. - Just to take the edge off.

Not even as much as a whiff while your brother's in town

or I'm gonna get on you like ugly on a ape, and I mean it.

Festus...

I'm gonna say it one more time...

I've got a terrible feeling about this.

Doc, will you quit a-hangin' crepe?

What in tarnation could happen in five hours?

I just want to know one thing, where can I find the marshal?

Well, I ain't no information agency.

I'm just a stable man.

You're liable to find him most anywhere.

You want this horse shod, don't you?

That's right.

Looks like you're gonna need shoes all around.

Well, get it done.

Take an hour or two.

Be about right.

Hey, I believe you're a stranger in Dodge.

I don't recollect...

If you don't know where the marshal is,

maybe you can tell me where I can find his office.

Right on down Front Street.

You'll run right into it.

Thanks.

Can't miss it.

Doc, as quick as the stage coach comes in,

why, you're supposed to tell him...

Yes, I know, I know... I invite him to dinner.

But first you got some important something you got to do.

See? And while you're doing that, why, we'll sashay over

to the Long Branch, let him meet Miss Kitty,

buy him a drink... you don't get none.

And directly, why we'll just meander on down to Delmonico's

and have vittles with you.

Then we'll get on down to the stable to see my horse.

When we was boys, Ethan loved horses.

Then we're going to scoot him right over to Matthew's office

and keep him holed up there till the stagecoach leaves.

That's all they is to it.

Well...

Whoa! Whoa...

Malachi?

Ethan?!

Malachi!

Well, Malachi, now just...

look at you.

30 years.

Yes, yes, looks like every one of 'em

have been been good to you, Malachi.

Looks like you've done all right for yourself, too.

Whoa-ho! Yeah.

Oh, well, too many years sitting behind a desk, you know.

Too much paperwork.

I should have gone in for this outdoor life. That's...

Pardon me, Marshal.

Oh, 'scuse me, Festus.

Marshal Malachi Harper.

This here's my friend

Festus Haggen; this here's my friend Doc Adams.

- My brother Ethan. -Hi. - How do you do, doctor.

All plumb all the way from Baltimore, Pennsylvania, huh?

- Maryland. - Certainly.

Uh, Malachi only wrote once

since he moved here to Dodge,

but he mentioned both of you gentlemen.

Oh, Mr. Harper, say,

I'd like it if you'd be my guest, uh, for a bite to eat

over at Delmonico's a little later.

Oh, that's very friendly of you, sir.

Well, it's indeed my pleasure.

Now, let's say, uh, about an hour,

'cause I got something I got to do right now.

Is that all right?

Fine, fine.

Got letters in my box...

Is them there all your belongings in that carpet, uh...

Oh, y-yeah. Well, no, I sent my trunks

on ahead to San Francisco.

After that long dusty trip,

I bet you'd like a drink.

Whiskey?

You don't drink whiskey, do you, Malachi?

Whiskey? No. He-he...

Mm...

Maybe cold beer, maybe, on a warm day.

Well, I'm very glad to hear that, Malachi.

You know, hard liquor has been the downfall

of many a strong man.

Oh, that's true, Ethan.

That's very true.

You sound like as if you don't drink none, mister, uh...

No. No, I don't.

That's, uh, on principle.

See, a businessman like me in the business world,

you just, uh...

No, no, that dulls the mind.

Same thing with marshaling.

Ain't that true, marshal?

Well, that's very true, Festus.

That sure is true.

Well...

Well.

Well...

You're gonna meet another friend of mine down here...

Miss Kitty Russell.

Well, that would be very pleasant.

- Howdy, Miss Kitty. - Morning, Miss Kitty.

Look who came to see you... The marshal hisself.

Well, if it isn't Marshal Harper.

This here's my brother Ethan.

Miss Kitty Russell.

How do you do?

Delighted, Miss Russell.

Uh, Mr. Harper here's came plumb from Baltimore.

- That's in... - Maryland.

A-And he's on his way to San Francisco,

and he had a few hours, so he just stopped off

to see his brother, old Mala... The marshal.

Well, a reunion. I think that's wonderful.

Calls for a drink.

Uh, we'll have your usual, Miss Kitty... beer.

Beer.

Oh, yes, of course. Beer.

I'll, uh, I'll make sure it's good and cold.

Please, sit down, gentlemen.

What a charming lady.

Ain't she, though?

Tell me, Malachi,

do you ever have much trouble

in an establishment of this nature?

Well...

sometimes they get a little rambunctious.

As a rule, they don't kick up no ruckuses

when the marshal's around.

What'll it be?

Whiskey... the kind without any water in it.

Well, there's no water in any Long Branch whiskey, mister.

If you'd ever been in Dodge before,

you'd know that.

Is that so?

Well, you're right about one thing.

I ain't never been in Dodge before.

My brother has, though, maybe you heard of him.

Jess Ordman?

Yeah, I heard of him.

Mm-hmm.

And the marshal killed him.

And your brother had it coming.

Well, you might say the same thing for the marshal.

As a matter of fact, there have been times

when I've thought of, oh...

giving up the business back in Baltimore.

What would you want to do a thing like that for?

Oh, I don't know.

Just to search for the simple life, I suppose.

Well, that's easy said for anybody

that's got hisself a heap of money.

Oh, tut-tut-tut, oh now,

money is of very small consequence, Festus.

Now, ain't that the truth.

Feller don't need a lot of money to have a good life.

You know, the older we get,

the closer we come in thought, Malachi.

When we was tadpoles,

we used to fight over everything.

Never agreed on nothing.

As a matter of fact, uh, Malachi here

was not above, uh, taking a nip from Mother's

elderberry wine now and then. You remember...

Aw, you don't mean that.

Ethan used to snitch on me, too... hmm?

Oh, it w-was all for the good.

Just look how it turned out. Just...

You don't drink now, and look at you.

You have this whole town right there in the palm of your hand.

Just because you don't drink.

A very occasional beer

is all I ever drink now.

Yeah, I caught you nipping, once, too, remember?

- Excuse me. - Ah!

Here are your beers.

And, uh, Festus,

I think Sam would like to see you for a minute.

Oh, much obliged, Miss Kitty.

I'll be back directly.

Well, gentlemen...

Whiskey.

What you want?

Festus, if you ain't careful, there's gonna be trouble.

What do you mean?

You remember Jess Ordman?

Jess Ordman...

Oh, ain't he the feller that Matthew had to shoot

a couple months back?

And you remember what he said, just before he died,

about his brother Del?

I recollect he said

when Del heared about this,

he's gonna come gunning for the marshal.

Well, that's Del Ordman sitting right over there at that table.

Aw, foot.

Matthew don't take no stock

in no gunman's reputation, you know that.

Bartender!

More whiskey!

Look, Festus, he's never been in Dodge before.

He doesn't know Matt Dillon.

He's here looking for the marshal.

The marshal!

The... Malachi.

Barkeep...

if I don't get some more whiskey,

I'm gonna tear your place up.

That cow person certainly is disagreeable.

Oh, well, don't worry about it. Sam will take care of him.

Uh, we'd ought to go meet Doc for dinner now.

Well, hold your britches.

Don't tell me to hold my britches.

Malachi, tell him to stop that right away.

Oh, them things happen all the time.

They don't mean nothin'.

Well, I thought you said

people were quiet when they saw you in here.

That there one must be a stranger in town.

He don't know me.

Well, go tell him who you are, immediately.

Barkeep.

Barkeep...

if I don't get another glass of whiskey,

I'm liable to just blow your ears off.

Move just as much as a inch,

and I'm gonna shoot half your ribs out.

Now, just ease your gun back in the scabbard.

Just keep lookin' right straight ahead,

don't look around or...

you'll be deader than last year's bird's nest.

I'll back him up with this.

Mister?

I hope you ain't going to take no offense

to what I'm going to say to you.

No...

no, you go right ahead and speak your piece.

I'll listen.

Well...

of course, a-a fella has got a right

to drink, all right.

Well, um...

I'm leaving now, if...

if it's all right with you.

Why, sure.

Just go straight on out

and don't look around or nothin'.

Malachi.

I think we'd ought to go meet Doc now.

Well, I mean to say, you didn't even draw your gun.

I don't like to use it unless I have to.

That was the very bravest thing I have ever seen.

Aw, fiddle, your brother does things like that all the time.

We'd ought to go meet Doc now.

I'll tell you things about him

that'll just make your eyes pooch right out of your head;

make your hair stand on end... I will.

Will you join us, Miss Kitty?

Oh, uh... oh, no, I-I don't think so.

Um, but thanks just the same.

But I have some things to do here.

We'll see you directly.

I hope I see you again before you leave.

Thank you.

- Come on. -Oh... - Morning, Miss Kitty.

♪♪

Well! That was a really wonderful meal.

I want to thank you again, Dr. Adams.

- Well, it was my pleasure. - And great service.

Service in the grand style, you know.

Surprising to find something so satisfying this far west.

Well, Delmonico's figures

they ain't nothing too good for our marshal.

Oh, I noticed that, and I was frankly impressed.

Yes, kind of special treatment for special people, you see.

Well, let's, uh, try to get on with it now.

Hey, you know what I would really like to do?

- What's that? - Well...

I'd like to go down and-and see Malachi's office.

I'd like to just... I'd-I'd like to get the feel of it.

What we was thinking was that we'd take you down,

- show you the marshal's horse. I hear -Yes, but if I could sit

- that you cotton to good horseflesh. - In that...

He's right over yonder in Moss Grimmick's stable.

Get the whole feel of that place.

I would be so...

And-and besides that, they's been a town drunk

that's just been a-pesterin' the daylights out of the marshal.

You remember the one, Doc,

I was telling you about, whilst they was in there

washing up before dinner?

- Oh, the drunk! - Th-That one.

Yeah, if you go by your office, you're gonna run into him, sure.

Well...

Yeah, and you've did everything

you can do for him, Marshal.

I wouldn't let a little old good-for-nothing scamp

spoil my visiting time with my brother.

I got an idea.

Why don't you, after you've seen the horse,

why don't you just come on up to my office

and we'll just visit there.

- Oh, that's a good idea. - Say...

- I'd really enjoy that. - Ain't that a good idea,

- to go visit? -Fine. - We'll just do it.

Well, I-I really appreciate all your kindness.

And I-I mean I-I really do.

- Well, it's nothing at all. - Oh, yes, it is. Yes, it is.

You-you make a person feel right at home.

- Well, it's a pure pleasure. - You know, a man...

- The stable's right down... - You-you get away from the...

the hurly-burly and-and the-the rush of the business world

- out here among real people. - Mr. Harper...

It's the kind of a thing... Well, I tell you what,

it makes a man feel that he could almost forget everything

that he left behind him and stay right here.

I mean, it's that touching. I could...

- No, Ethan, you couldn't do that. - I-I could stay here

and, well, just never... never leave...

See, you couldn't do that.

That's what you get

for being such a big important businessman.

There's so many folks a-dependin' on you in Baltimore.

- That's right, Ethan. - Aw, no, no, no.

Still and all, you know what they say

about blood and water, huh?

And it's been such a doggone long time, brother Malachi.

You know, if we don't get down to that stable directly,

you ain't gonna get to see that horse at all.

That's right, Ethan, and your stage leaves

- in about a couple of hours. - It sure does.

Much obliged for the vittles, Doc.

Hank.

Oh, Hank.

It's me, Festus.

I got the marshal and his brother with me.

Hank must have just went out for a spell.

Right back here, Mr. Harper.

There is nothing like the smell of a stable

to an old country boy.

Sure takes you back over the years, don't it?

Oh, I've almost forgotten how to remember, Malachi.

Now, Mr. Harper, this here is the marshal's horse.

Well, well, a splendid-looking animal.

The marshal, huh?

Did I hear him call you "Marshal"?

- Well... - That's right.

My name's Ordman, Del Ordman.

Oh. Pleased to meet you, Mr. Ordman.

This here is my brother Ethan

- and that there's... - Your brother?

I see.

Well, Jess Ordman was my brother.

What?

Name doesn't mean anything to you?

I can't say it does.

See, the reason...

You play it pretty calm.

Oh, it comes from years of being a lawman.

Oh.

Well, you and I have some business together, Marshal.

He's busy. Can't you see that?

That's all right.

You go right ahead and tend

to your business, Malachi.

I don't mind waiting.

Oh, there's no hurry, Marshal.

I'll be around.

Uh, uh, Mr. Ordman, see, what you...

Why don't you quit buzzing around, little fly.

You're gonna get swatted.

"Little fly"? Well, I'll swat him.

Mr. Haggen, Mr. Haggen, don't-don't...

Well, I'll tear him up like a sow's bed.

Don't pay attention to that rude man.

He deserves a thorough dressing down.

That is the most despicable...

Malachi, what kind of business

would you have had with him, anyway?

I don't rightly know, Ethan.

Well, it's certainly nothing you couldn't have handled.

I tell you, Malachi,

I envy you more and more all the time.

More and more all the time.

Well, I reckon we've had plenty of the horse.

We'd ought to be getting on up to Doc's place.

You two go ahead on up to Doc's office.

I'll be back just quick as I get done.

Oh, say, you're-you're-you're not thinking

of confronting that Ordman person, are you?

Oh, of course not.

Yahoos like him's left up to the marshal's handling.

This here's just a little chore I got to get did.

Well, we have been rather monopolizing your time.

Well, it's been a pure pleasure, Mr. Harper.

You tell Doc I'll be up directly.

Right. Fine.

That Ordman feller's a-gunnin' for the marshal.

That means you.

So you stay hid till I get back, you hear me?

The, uh, Widow Jenkins had outside stairs just like these,

when we were young.

Do you remember that, Malachi?

Yeah, that-that's right.

Yeah.

Oh, lookit here, this is a note from Dr. Adams.

He... Oh, he's been called away on an emergency,

and he says for us to wait for him, if we will.

- Right. - Uh, Malachi...

you know, I was not talking lightly when I said I envy you.

Well, now, Ethan,

marshaling has got its dark side, too, I guarantee you.

Well, there's no dark side to the affection

that I see expressed by your friends for you.

Oh, they's kindly, right enough.

Yes, that's something I don't see much of

in the business world.

It's something I wish I could share with you.

Don't look like we're gonna have much time

to share much of nothin', Ethan.

Your stage leaves in about an hour.

Yeah.

That is one of the unhappy aspects of life.

What is, Ethan?

Time.

It's forever running out.

That's right.

Well, that's what makes tomorrow, Ethan,

the time running out today.

My tomorrows have been much too alike for much too long.

Malachi, I...

Uh...

I don't... I don't suppose it would work out anyway.

What wouldn't, Ethan?

Our living the same life.

Sure ain't no denying that, is there?

Well, it-it might have, you know.

One time, way back, a long time ago.

A big businessman like you and the likes of somebody like me.

It's enough to make a fella chuckle, ain't it?

Yeah, yeah.

Sure, that's... S-Sure is.

Well, I, uh, I left my bag down at, uh, Miss Russell's.

I suppose I better just walk down there...

It'll save time, Ethan.

And I'll wait here.

Yeah, you-you do that, Malachi. I'll see you shortly.

Right.

♪♪

♪♪

Hello, Marshal.

I've been looking for you.

You got me wrong, mister.

I ain't...

Time for talking's over.

Now, you fill your hand.

It's done filled already.

Look, I'm not here to play games.

Now, you draw, or I'm gonna kill you where you stand.

♪♪

Ordman been back in here, Sam?

No, he ain't been back.

Well, I've been looking all over Dodge for him.

Well, he's likely lying low someplace

waiting to make his play.

I know that, Sam.

That's why I'm trying to run him down, straighten everything out.

Well, I don't think he's gonna be in much of a listening mood.

I don't reckon he will.

Only thing I can do is tell Mr. Harper the truth

and try to get Malachi out of town; it's all I can do.

Oh, Mr. Harper was in here a while ago.

He was?! Was Malachi with him?

No, he was alone. He came to pick up his bag.

Did he go up to Doc's, did he?

Well, I didn't ask him, Festus, and he didn't say.

All I know is what I told you... When I came back,

they were both gone, along with a bottle of my good whiskey.

Well, that means for sure they ain't together, then,

'cause Mr. Harper don't drink,

and Malachi wouldn't take a drink in front of him.

It means Malachi's drunker than a skunk someplace,

is what it means.

Oh, golly Bill.

He wouldn't stand a chance if he was sober,

let alone being drunk.

And you'd ought to have saw the way

that Ordman looked at Mr. Harper

when he found out he's Malachi's brother...

The marshal's brother.

Well, why don't you just find Ordman and tell him the truth?

Well, fiddle, I can't find him, Doc.

Told you something like this was gonna happen.

I've been telling you all along.

Are you just gonna keep pacing back and forth

saying "I told you so," or are you gonna help me out?

Help you what?

Well, to find Mr. Harper afore Ordman does

and get him on that stagecoach.

They're fixin' to leave in less than a hour.

By thunder, Festus, if I ever let you

talk me into another one of your flea-brained, cra...

Doc, I'm a-taking a Solomon oath right here and now...

You-you taking an oath?

- Yeah. - Well, that's the wrong hand.

Doc, I ain't never gonna try to talk you into nothin' again.

I still don't believe it.

Ornery old scudder, all you do is pick at me, peck at me.

You never try to help me out anytime I need...

♪♪

♪♪

Did you get Mr. Harper on the stage? Did you, Doc?

Mr. Harper? I haven't seen Mr. Harper.

I haven't seen Malachi, either one of them.

Well, what in the tarnation

did you let the stagecoach leave for, then?

Let the...? Well, now, how in the thunder

- can I keep a stage... - Well, you could've just...

Could've what?

Well...

Oh, Lord, Doc, what in the world am I gonna do?

Well, I don't know what you're gonna do.

I just know that I haven't got time

to play any more of your silly games with you.

- I got patients to attend to. - Well, you ain't just gonna

go off and leave me in the middle

- of this mess, are you? - I told you and told you

not to get mixed up in it... You wouldn't listen.

This ought to be a lesson to you, Festus.

Just don't stick your nose in other people's business.

I wish't I never had a-came to this town in the first place.

Festus, how could you let something like this happen?

Matthew, the only thing I let

was Malachi be something he ain't

so he could make a good imprint on his brother.

Yeah, and now he's got this Ordman gunning for him.

Him and his brother both.

Well, let's go find them.

I've looked everyplace, Matthew.

I can't find the hide nor hair of 'em.

Well, they've got to be somewhere, you know.

Marshal?

Marshal, that old fool Malachi Harper's

over at the Long Branch, all dressed up in fancy clothes,

high as a hoot owl, and playacting like he was you.

Well, at least he's safe.

Not for long, he ain't safe.

He's calling down on some fella named Ordman right now.

This h'yere...

this h'yere represents law and order, mister.

- Is that so? - Yeah.

And it ain't a-runnin' from you no more.

You show it some respect!

I don't know how you ever took Jess,

but you're gonna pay for it.

Jess?

My brother, you sot!

Thar's a dignity to this h'yere badge,

and I ain't no sot!

Draw.

Hold on.

All right, Malachi, go on, get out of here.

I understand you're looking for the marshal?

I found him.

You have now.

I see.

Well, there's no denying you make a better picture of one.

Mister, you got two choices right now.

One of them's to get out that door.

I come a long ways.

I'm too tired to do any more traveling.

I'm sure glad you come, Marshal, 'cause if you hadn't,

I'm a-feared I'd have had to take him myself.

Marshal! Marshal!

Listen, I found a dead man in the stable,

in one of the stalls.

He's a big man, wearing fancy clothes.

Mr. Harper!

I found him just a few minutes ago, third stall back.

I come straight to get you.

My fault, Matthew, all my fault.

Oh, no.

I'm not good enough to shine his shoes.

He's drunk, Matthew,

just plain old drunk.

I've never seen one drunker.

I-I-I-I've been a failure

all of my life.

I've just been an old, no-good

drunken fraud and a... failure.

And y-y-you...

you could see right through me,

just like a piece of glass.

It was that elderberry wine

of Ma's what done it.

It had to be.

That's what done it, all right.

That's right.

You'd think he'd appreciate

a feller trying to help him out.

Well, I imagine he'd ask for your advice

if he wanted it, Festus.

Well, Oswald don't know enough to ask for help.

You don't have to eat those griddle cakes, you know.

Well, shoot, I wouldn't

if they didn't smell so dang good.

Now all in the world...

all he'd have to do would be to add some milk

and baking powder... You already told me that.

Well, that'd do it.

It'd keep 'em from glomping up.

Glomping up?

Yeah, you know.

After they hit the pit of your belly,

well, they just kind of glomp up.

Hurts.

- Morning, Marshal. - Malachi.

- Festus. - Howdy, Malachi.

How is everything?

Just as fine as goose down.

Business good?

Picking up some.

I'm glad to hear that.

We just heading out.

Stopped by for a little early morning scamper juice.

Ethan!

Ethan.

Oh, good morning, there, Marshal, good morning.

- Good morning, Mr. Haggen. - Mr. Harper.

Hear you're fixing to head out on the prairie again.

Yes, we expect to be gone about a month.

We heard about a big buffalo drive over near the Arkansas,

and we anticipate a very...

lucrative haul of bones.

Good luck to you.

- We'll see you directly. - Giddap!

Sure is too bad.

What's that?

Oh, Ethan's joining up with Malachi like that.

What? Too bad?

It's the best thing that Ethan could have did.

Well, yeah, it kind of cuts you out

of being his partner, though.

Oh, well...

I reckon you're right, at that,

but then you can't have everything in life, Matthew.

I don't mind doing anything for them two.

Mmm.

You know, Festus, you're... you're a true friend, yep.

Not too dependable a friend, but, uh...

What do you mean, I ain't dependable?

That's harder than I'd slam a door.

Everything turned out all right, didn't it?

And here I thought we done had all this out...

and here you got to get it all started up again.

You know I ain't gonna do nothin' like that...