Original subtitles

(door buzzer sounds)

(indistinct conversations)

Hi.

Valerie, it's been two damn weeks.

What the hell is going on?

I thought you said you were going to get me out of here.

Look, I'm trying, okay?

But I don't have $100,000 laying around

to give to Mr. Bail Bondsman.

And since I don't have any hard assets,

we've got a problem.

What about the club?

There's got to be equity in the club.

I don't own the building.

I just have the business.

And as far as the bondsmen are concerned,

night clubs are fly-by-night.

What happened with your family?

They already have a second mortgage on their house.

Not that my stepfather was willing, anyway.

I'm sorry.

Do you have any idea what kind of hell I'm living through?

Look, I have a business appraiser

looking over the books and the inventory, okay?

He says he'll work with me on the numbers,

but you're gonna have to hold out a little longer.

I can't hold out a little longer.

I'm not gonna make it in here, you hear me?

I'm not gonna make it.

Look, I'll have an answer later this afternoon, okay?

Don't worry.

Everything's going to be okay.

You're all I've got.

Get me out.

(door buzzer sounds)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(indistinct conversation)

Thanks.

BRANDON: That's not very nice.

So, you're not going to show us your scars, huh?

JOE: No. There are

no scars.

Trust me. I checked.

JOE: It was catheter surgery.

All I have is a small little mark

on my leg.

CLARE: You know, when my uncle got a pacemaker,

you could, like, feel it under his skin,

like a cigarette lighter or something.

Not any more. They're so small now,

you wouldn't even know it was there.

Here.

You feel anything?

CLARE: Uh-uh. It's amazing, huh?

CLARE: Mm-hmm.

SUSAN: Well, all I know-- it's gonna

be nice to have you play again next season.

JOE: Yeah, thanks.

They've already given me

the green light to go back into training.

Of course, the doctor's got me

on a pretty tight leash.

Not to mention Donna.

Damn straight. Let's go.

All right. See you later. Bye, guys.

See you, guys. JOE: See you.

Bye. I got to go, too.

Kelly's coming home today, so...

I'm just glad she went in.

BRANDON: I'm glad she stayed in.

Yeah, well, I'm just glad.

Do you have my wallet? No.

Hey, isn't that, um,

Joan, that woman you tried to set up with Nat?

Yeah, it is.

Yeah, Willie said they've been seeing each other. Hmm.

Hey, everybody.

Steve, how are you?

Hey, Joan. Mmm.

Good to see you. I'm glad to see

things are going so well.

Yeah, it's really been good to see Nat.

You guys have a good day.

STEVE: Bye.

Bye. See you.

See you later, Joanie.

Bye, Nat.

What's going on? Yeah, what's going on?

Uh, uh, nothing.

It... just didn't work out.

You're kidding.

Yeah, you guys looked so happy together.

That's the way it goes.

Well, what happened? NAT: What happened?

We went out a few times, and, uh...

I don't know, the magic just wasn't there.

It's not like in the old days.

What are you talking about?

I don't know.

I can't put my finger on it.

You guys want something else?

Uh-uh.

All right, good.

See you. Hmm.

Well, we can't say we didn't try.

We should do something.

We should leave it alone.

SUSAN: Aah!

TARA: You think I'll get another roommate?

This place looks so empty all of a sudden.

Maybe you'll get the room all for yourself.

Hey, you only have one week left.

Just stick with it.

You gonna visit me? I will be

here for out-patient.

You'll see me almost every night at group.

It's not the same thing.

Tara,

you'll be fine.

Got everything?

I think so.

Oh, wait.

Oh, um, no.

No, really, I wanted you to keep that.

Really?

Yeah.

I was hoping you'd say that.

(knocking)

Come in.

You ready to go?

KELLY: What are you doing here? I thought

they sent you off to Pediatrics?

I just wanted to stop by and wish you good luck.

Well, thank you.

So, you got a ride? Uh, yeah.

My mom and my brother are meeting me in the lobby.

Okay, then, you're all set? All set.

Great. Come on, I'll take these for you.

Oh, thanks.

Hang on one second.

Come here.

(sniffles)

Mmm. I'll see you soon, okay? Okay.

Bye. Bye.

I'll see you, okay?

So, what do you got planned?

Uh, mostly catching up on my classes.

I figure if I keep myself busy with that,

I won't have to think about anything else.

I'm no expert, but from what I've observed,

you've come a long way.

You think so?

I do. So don't let life throw you.

Thanks, Doc.

Almost a doctor.

(laughs)

(elevator bell dings)

Oh, great. There she is.

Now, just let me handle this.

You know what? I feel totally weird about this.

We're completely butting in on Nat's life.

Come on, Clare. Where's your sense of romance?

Besides which, would you rather have Brandon and Steve do it?

Point taken.

(Susan laughs)

(sighs)

Hi.

Susan, Clare.

CLARE: Hi. What a surprise.

Can I help you with something?

Um, I need a new desk lamp,

and Nat said that you worked here,

so I thought I'd come by and give you the business.

Great. What did you have in mind?

Craftsman?

Victorian?

Contemporary?

(laughs)

Uh... how about something romantic and nostalgic?

Come on, I'll show you what we have.

What the heck does a romantic desk lamp look like?

Not a word.

Here they are.

Take your pick.

Great.

Um...

Listen, Joan, um...

I hate to pry,

but I, I just have to say something, um...

Nat hasn't been the same since you left this morning.

(quietly): Are you kidding?

SUSAN: What? You know it's true.

I mean, did you guys have a fight or something?

You don't have to answer that, really.

It's none of our business.

Sure it is.

You care about Nat.

Well, we kind of thought you did, too. I do.

I really do.

CLARE: What's the problem then?

Not-Not that

you have to answer that, actually...

I-I really can't put my finger on it.

Funny. That's, uh...

that's exactly what Nat said.

You... you talked to Nat about me?

Yeah.

JOAN: What did Nat say?

Something about the magic

that the two of you used to have.

Everything with Nat was magic.

No matter what we did,

even if it was just going for a hot dog,

he'd make it romantic.

(sighs)

But that was then, and this is now.

Oh, so you're saying you don't think Nat's romantic anymore?

JOAN: Oh, I'm sure he is. It's just

that maybe it's the time, the place.

You can't repeat the past.

So, did you pick out a lamp?

Oh...

She doesn't really need a lamp.

JOAN (laughing): I kind of figured that.

(sighs)

Give my best to Nat.

You're good friends.

Thanks. Thanks.

Well, that was successful.

She's crazy about him.

Yeah, and he's crazy about her,

but there's nothing we can do about it.

(sighs)

I, uh, had a chance to catch some tape

on your boyfriend's prime-time road rally

with the L.A.P.D.

I, uh, managed to miss

the first showing.

(clears throat)

You sure you want to go through with this?

Yes,

but without the lecture, please.

Well, seems like you managed

to certify the equity in your club.

Now all I need is a cashier's check

in the amount of $10,000.

(sighs)

Here you go.

Sweet.

Let's just hope

your boyfriend doesn't get a hankering to see the world.

Well, that wouldn't be in our best interest.

No, it wouldn't.

(pop music playing)

Clare, uh, do you think we should change the music--

I don't know,

something maybe a little more soothing or something?

No. Normal is better.

We don't want to treat her any different

than we did before, right?

Right. Anybody home?

Hi! Hi!

Welcome home! Thank you.

Hey. Hi.

Uh, Kel, I'm just gonna put your stuff in your room.

Thanks. My God, look at these, they're gorgeous!

They're from Brandon, Susan and Steve.

They wanted to be here,

but they thought you might feel a little overwhelmed.

Aw... They're beautiful.

Hey, wait till you see your room.

All right, lead the way. Come on.

Wait a second, wait. Where's Colin's painting?

Uh, we took it down.

Why? Well, we didn't think

that was the first thing you'd want to see when you got home.

Let me do my own redecorating, all right?

Sorry.

What is this?

It's a little homecoming present.

I thought you might like having something to take care of.

David, they're so cool.

I haven't had fish since I was a kid.

Uh, here. Feed them.

They haven't eaten all day.

Just don't give them too much.

Now, you know, fish will eat until they die.

I know. You know what?

I'm going to name the big orange one David.

There you go, guys.

So, have you, uh, heard anything

about Colin?

Yeah, he's a jailbird.

He can't make bail.

Kelly, he's going to have to do some time.

I just don't think you should be so hard on him.

He's been humbled enough.

You just worry about yourself, okay?

That's all I care about.

(phone rings)

You want me to get that?

No, it's probably Tara.

She said she would call.

Hello?

Hey, Tara, can you hold on?

Um, can you just tell everybody I need to rest?

Sure.

You okay?

Yeah, it's good to be home.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Hi.

Hey. What's going on?

Uh, Tara called.

That was quick.

Kelly seemed pretty upset.

No, she's fine.

She just needs to get used to everything again.

Yeah, I think she just needs a night in her own bed.

She'll be fine in the morning.

(phone rings)

Hello?

COLIN: I heard you were coming out of rehab today.

That's great.

Colin...

Yeah. Yeah, I just wanted to welcome you home,

tell you I was thinking about you.

Um... Where are you?

Where do you think?

But I'm getting out of here tonight.

I'm glad for you.

Thanks.

I'd love to see you.

No. I...

I have to go.

(dial tone drones)

Is there a Ms. Malone here?

Uh, yeah...

Yeah. Great.

That's me.

I'm Tony Spencer, Mr. Roberts' lawyer.

He made bail. Robbins.

His name is Colin Robbins.

I'm sorry. Robbins.

Look, he'll be out within the hour, okay?

Well, wait. So what's next?

We try and plead the charges down.

Plead down?

What do you mean plead down?

Are you saying that we don't have a defense?

That we have to take whatever deal they give us?

Ms. Malone, I'm a public defender.

Thirty cases found their way on to my desk this morning.

Now, I do the best I can do,

the way I see fit to do it.

Now, if you want to pay for the high-priced spread,

I can give you a referral.

Okay, so let's say we take the plea.

What's the best you can do?

Well, we're looking at possession,

resisting arrest, and driving recklessly

while trying to evade a police officer.

He's looking at least three years

in the state penitentiary.

Three years?

If I'm lucky, I can get it down a year.

Well, that's unacceptable.

Best I can do.

Look, after he gets settled in tomorrow,

have him give me a call.

I'm home.

Oh, man, it's going to take a week

just to get the stink off of me.

It's not that bad.

Yeah, right.

I just need to shower and hit the sack.

Well, you're out now.

Yeah, for how long?

From what I heard in there,

the place I'll probably get sent to...

Well, I don't even want to think about it.

Well, the first thing you need to think about

is getting another lawyer.

That Spencer's a loser.

How do you suppose I pay a good lawyer?

I don't have a cent, Valerie.

You're not paying him...

I am.

(shower running)

I wonder what it was, you know.

I mean, I wonder why they broke up.

I mean, you know...

to be apart after all these years, you know, I mean,

it-it must've been meant to be.

I just can't quite figure out why,

why they're apart now.

Maybe she didn't know when to be quiet.

I'm sorry.

I just can't seem to get my mind off them...

Just give it a rest, Keats.

(sighs)

I guess you just get bored after a while, huh?

Bored?

With you?

Never.

I'm not talking about us.

I'm talking about Nat and Joan.

Well, maybe they had their time and it's gone.

You think passion can't sustain itself?

It's pretty simple.

A rose untended is gonna wilt.

Chocolate left out, it's gonna go stale.

Champagne uncorked, it's gonna go flat.

You kind of understand what I'm saying?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I get it.

So, um...

how do you keep romance going?

Do what I do.

(mutters) What? What? What?

I'm sorry.

Look, we have to do something.

And when exactly was it

that you got this matchmaking obsession, huh?

Look, I just feel bad.

I mean, look at the two of them.

Nat's been alone for years and years.

She's divorced

and all her kids have moved away.

They're perfect for each other, you know?

Besides which, everybody needs somebody.

Come on, we have to help.

And what exactly are we supposed to do?

We're talking about two fully grown adults here.

If they want to be together, they'll be together.

You can't take them on a double date

and throw them in the back seat

and hope they fall in love,

it ain't gonna happen.

No, no, no, that's a really good idea.

Not a double date, a triple date.

Me, you...

Clare, Steve and them.

And what exactly is that going to accomplish?

Well, you know, you heard her.

They just need to have some fun, you know?

Put romance back into it.

And hanging out with us is gonna do that?

Honey... who better?

Oh...

Mom? What are you doing here?

Good morning, darling.

I went a little overboard at Chez Panache this morning.

I thought you could use something special.

That's very nice of you, but you didn't have to.

I know, I'm a mother.

It's allowed.

I won't argue that.

Donna, coffee's on!

So, how was it to spend your first night at home?

It was heaven.

My sheets, my bed, my pillows, everything--

it was heaven.

Here.

Oh, it's so sweet of you, Mom.

I'm glad you came by.

(phone rings)

That's Joe.

I'm late. I know.

All right. Hello?

You won't believe what we had

for breakfast again this morning.

Um...

Lumpy oatmeal, cold toast and warm juice.

I feel like I'm going to heave.

You'll be fine, Tara.

Just go along with the program.

And I will sneak something yummy in

before group tomorrow.

All right.

I-I just miss you.

I'm sorry, I keep calling so much.

You can call as much as you need to.

Thanks, Kelly.

Bye.

Bye.

That was Tara again?

Yeah.

How many times has she called this morning?

I don't know, Donna. I haven't been counting.

So, are you going to school today?

No, I think I need another mental health day.

I'm so far behind now,

I'm just probably going to end up

with a bunch of incompletes anyway.

I'm going to go back to bed.

I'll be right back.

Kel, look, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean anything about Tara calling.

I know.

You just really have to understand

how hard it is on her right now.

I mean, she really relied on me in there.

And I'm like the only person that she has.

Well, she's lucky to have you as a friend.

Thanks, Donna.

Have a good day. You, too.

(indistinct conversations)

So I talked to Brenda today...

She's spending all that time...

Hello! Hey, baby.

How you doing? Hey. Hi.

Okay, it's all set for tonight.

What is? With Joan.

We talked to her. She's on.

Triple date. Tonight. Oh, great.

Where do we take 'em?

Well, I've been thinking about this.

I can vouch for that. Coffee, please.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Now, Joan said the reason that she broke it off with Nat

was because and I quote:

"You can't recapture the past."

I say we try.

Well, that sounds complicated.

Mm-hmm. No, no,

you just have to use your imagination, Steve.

I mean, I'm talking about a date

that takes them back into their past,

you know, to their, uh, favorite romantic haunts,

you know, where they first dated,

and kissed and made love.

That sounds all well and good,

but those places don't exist anymore.

SUSAN: Well, some do.

I can guarantee that even if they don't,

I mean, their memories still do.

Think back,

1971.

That would be the age of disco inferno, right?

Seldom right

and wrong again, Steve,

that would be pre-disco, pre- Star Wars.

Pre... Charlie's Angels.

Okay, Joan told us all the places

they used to like to go.

So, we just have one problem.

And that's where you guys come in.

NAT: Absolutely not! Forget it! Whoa,

whoa, what're you getting so bent out of shape about?

It's not like this is a shotgun wedding.

Nat, it's one date, man, one date. One date.

Come on, now.

Forget it, forget it.

You can't make something happen

that's not supposed to happen.

See that's it? That is not it.

Is that it, Nat? That's it.

Oh, boy, we are dead meat.

Dead meat, my friend.

Don't take it so hard, Brando.

Put that away.

It's not your problem. No,

see that's where you're wrong,

that's where you're wrong because this is my problem,

it's my problem and it's a very big one.

It is?

It is.

Sanders, do you want to be the one to explain

to Susan and Clare that their brilliant little idea

isn't gonna fly, huh?

Are you familiar with the term "nihilus testiculus," huh?

You got to reconsider.

Please, the girls are gonna give us so much grief.

Oh, so, uh, Clare and Susan

conjured up this whole scheme?

Yes, yes, they conjured the whole scheme.

STEVE: You know how girls are.

They got all worked up about rekindling the romance

between you and Joan.

It's like they're on a mission...

A mission from God is what they're on.

And Joan agreed to all this?

She's very much looking forward to it.

Well, I, uh,

don't want to ruin your love lives.

Are you on?

What time you picking me up?

(sighs)

(speaking gibberish)

You're killing me. You're killing me.

Okay.

Here you go.

Steve and Brandon are in the back with Nat.

Want me to tell them you're here?

Actually, um, don't even mention I was here, okay?

You got it.

See you, later.

Hey, David.

Hey, Val.

How's it going?

Good, good.

Um, listen I've got to go.

The food's getting cold.

So, uh, I heard Colin made bail.

Yeah, yeah, you heard right.

Well, I hope you were smart enough

not to put up any of your own money for that.

You know what?

That's none of your business.

So, I'll take that as a no.

You know, I can't believe

you could be so stupid. You know,

you were always so jealous of Colin.

Oh, yeah.

There's a lot to be jealous of there.

You know, Val, you don't make any sense.

You went through hell trying to keep your friends

from knowing what was going on between you and Ginger

and now, and now you're pulling this.

What do you expect everyone to just agree

with what you're doing? You know what?

you have no right to make accusations

about anything I do.

I trusted you and you deserted me.

Oh, I loved you and you were willing to push me off

on your friend for the night.

What do you think you're gonna get out of this

other than trouble?

I know what you're thinking, David.

I know what everybody's thinking.

And I don't care.

Maybe all of you should learn a little bit about loyalty.

You guys used to be Colin's friend

until he screwed up.

And then you turned your back on him.

I won't do that, I never will.

So what, what are you saying? You love him?

Yeah.

Yeah, maybe I do.

Well, just remember this, Val.

When you play with dirt, you get dirty.

Well, thanks for the fortune cookie, David.

But keep it to yourself.

SUSAN: Yes, you can wear cream this time of year.

No, Joan, you are not overdressed.

Yes, Nat,

it is a limo.

It's a stretch.

Would you prefer to go in a van?

Okay, Joan, I'm hanging up now, okay.

No, Nat, I'm trying to make this easy.

You're the one who's making it difficult.

I'm hanging up now, good-bye.

You have got to be kidding me with these two.

I'm not-- I'm not kidding...

Our lovebirds are freakin'. Yes, they are.

Why did you guys have to take her shopping?

What did that accomplish?

All it did was put more pressure on her.

Wrong.

Shopping takes the pressure off--

especially if you, uh, start in footwear.

Footwear.

Hey, where have you been?

Back in time.

1971, to be exact.

What a strange year.

STEVE: Look at this, the Dow Jones was under 800 points.

How romantic.

Nixon was president.

Oliver Stone was probably still shooting on Super 8.

Led Zeppelin released

"Stairway to Heaven."

And Sonny and Cher still had a TV show.

My mom still had her TV show.

My parents were still living together.

Boy, do things change, huh?

(doorbell ringing) Come on,

there's the limo. Okay.

Okay.

All right, so, uh, it's all settled.

I'll meet you guys later? Yeah.

So, you think you'll have enough time

to set everything up? Absolutely.

Absolutely, I'll call you in the limo.

Okay.

I just really want everything to be perfect, you know?

Who knew you were so sentimental?

Uh, Brandon.

You forgot something.

Steve's cell phone, right, right, right, right, right.

No...

this...

Okay, bye.

Okay, bye.

So what do you feel like?

Oh, I don't know.

Anything really. Hmm.

A period romance?

No.

Okay, we can go the other way.

Uh, Brad, Keanu, Johnny Depp--

Your pick. I don't think so.

How about screwball comedy?

(Kelly chuckles)

Kel?

Kelly!

Greg, hi.

This is so weird.

I was just gonna call you. You were?

Yeah. Uh, hi, Donna, it's nice

to see you again. Yeah, you, too.

I'll just go.

Bye. (giggles)

So, you can't find a film?

Oh, no, we can't decide.

How about you? I was gonna get

a foreign film, but, uh, I realized

I just wasn't in the mood for subtitles

so I went back to an old standby.

Which is? Best of the Three Stooges.

Ah!

Why were you gonna call me?

Actually, I was wondering if maybe

you wanted to get a cup of coffee sometime?

Sure.

Okay. Great,

I'll call you. Are you listed?

Yeah.

Uh, K. Taylor. At the beach.

No address. All right,

K. Taylor at the beach.

I'm looking forward to it.

Me, too.

Bye. Bye.

Hey, what was that all about?

He just asked me out.

Really? Yeah.

Hmm.

He's perfect for you, Kel.

DONNA: Good-looking and a doctor, too.

JOAN: I have to say one thing.

You guys really know

how to show a girl a good time.

I second that motion.

I just wish Brando

were here. Mmm. I told you

he's busy and, besides which, it's a surprise.

Don't worry about it, we'll meet up with him later.

So where are we going now?

The site of your first date.

NAT: Ah, the Tail O' the Pup.

How did you know?

They did some very good research.

Boy, you were a big spender, Nat.

Thank you.

NAT: Do you remember, you remember

when this joint was across the street, Joanie?

Yeah.

You know this corner was

where they-they used to have pony rides.

I remember that. Yeah.

That was before the Beverly Center was built.

I had my fourth birthday here.

(Clare and Joan sigh)

Yes, sirree.

All right, a toast.

Oh! Woo!

Woo!

STEVE: To Joan...

Thank you.

...and Nat. Thanks, Pal.

To happiness.

To love.

To ponies.

And to living to a ripe old age.

And for staying young.

Cheers. NAT: Ah!

Mmm. CLARE: Mmm!

So,

how'd you guys meet?

We met on a casting

session.

Yeah, it was Bonanza.

I was reading for the, uh, bad guy,

and she was reading for the school teacher.

JOAN: Little Joe's love interest.

Did you get the part?

No, of course not. Well...

JOAN: I got a callback.

How about you guys?

How did you meet Brandon?

Oh, it was a workplace romance.

I hired him.

Classic case of sexual harassment.

Yes, but I still can't

quite figure out if I was the harasser

or the harassee.

STEVE: I've known Clare for a while,

but it wasn't until she started tutoring me

that I fell in love with her.

He was the perfect student.

Did everything the teacher wanted.

STEVE: I bribed her

with charm.

Hey, go easy, okay,

you still can't do long division without a calculator.

Like I have to. Uh-huh.

Listen, this is really great

but, um, where are we going next?

Well, you just have to wait and see.

Oh. All right. Okay.

May I have more while I wait and see?

(microwave beeps)

Ooh!

Popcorn's ready.

So, what movie are we watching first?

Soapdish is already in.

Where's the remote?

Uh, I think it's...

(phone rings)

Hello.

Tara... I can't hear you.

Speak up. Where are you?

In Venice somewhere.

I had to bail.

You ran away?

I just couldn't take it anymore.

Please don't hate me, Kelly?

Stop it. I don't hate you.

Just tell me where you are.

Ozone and Speedway, near the bridge.

Look, stay there, all right.

And stay clean.

I'll be right there.

Okay.

What's going on?

Tara's in trouble.

I'll drive.

Thanks, Donna.

(murmuring)

Remember the night we saw the Doors at the Whisky?

No, I never saw the Doors at the Whisky.

JOAN: Oh, well, it must have been somebody else.

(both laughing)

Lord help me, I can't even remember who.

(laughter)

Well, too bad Perino's is closed.

We could have taken you guys out for the best

cannelloni west of New York, bar none.

Whenever we had something to celebrate,

that's where we went.

Where are we now?

932 Las Palmas.

I haven't driven by here in years.

It's gone.

It is totally gone.

Remember that little bungalow, Joanie?

I sure do.

It was this cutest little place.

The...

the whole street was lined with

Hollywood bungalows, you know?

And you guys lived together?

Yeah.

For a while.

Give me a second, I'll be back.

Our parents were furious

about the situation, and the fact that

he was Catholic and I was Jewish...

believe me, it didn't help.

Is that what ended it with you two?

It had a lot to do with it.

I'm gonna go see what Nat's doing.

(door opening)

(sighs)

This is where the front walk used to be.

Yeah, I think you're right.

Remember all the night bloom jasmine

that was in the front yard? Yeah,

right outside the bedroom window.

Yeah.

I remember everything.

So do I.

Every detail.

(sighs)

CLARE: All right.

Go, Nat.

It's working.

TARA: Kelly!

KELLY: Tara.

Kelly, get me out of here, please.

I don't know what I'm doing. Are you all right?

It's okay.

I tried to call you, but you weren't there,

and I just got so desperate and so lonely,

and I just had to get out of there.

Please don't make me go back.

Well, I think it might be the best thing.

Please, I just... I just need to be with you.

Can't I just stay at your apartment?

It's okay with me, Kel.

All right, but I'm gonna call the unit

and tell them where you are.

Okay, that's a good idea.

Thanks for coming to get me, you guys.

We wouldn't leave you out here.

Just get in the car, and we'll go home.

Yeah, come on.

So this is what it's like to have friends, huh?

(sighs)

JOAN: So, what do you guys usually do

on Saturday nights?

Oh, we go out in stretch limos.

I mean, doesn't everyone? Sure.

(both laughing)

I'll tell you what they do.

They come by me.

I feed them, then they go next door

and hear loud music.

Real romantic.

Hey, hello, we're very romantic, okay?

JOAN: Really?

What's the most romantic date

you've ever been on?

Uh, that's a trick question.

Just make sure our answers

include our present partners only.

CLARE: And what's that supposed to mean?

Wasn't your, uh, most romantic date with me?

It was.

When?

Tonight.

I think this is the most romantic evening

we've ever spent together.

(phone ringing)

Hello?

How's it going?

Everything's perfect, exactly according to plan.

How about you? Ready here.

Great, we'll be there in ten minutes-- bye.

That was Brandon.

He's meeting us there.

Great, this is getting better by the minute.

Where are we going now?

Oh, the last stop is a real surprise.

(Joan giggling)

(door opening)

Here we are.

Nice crib.

Thanks.

I knew you guys must live in a nice place,

but this is like living in a magazine.

Uh... does anyone want coffee?

I would love some.

Sure, thanks.

You got it.

Uh, there's popcorn on the table,

and a movie's in the VCR already, so...

You heard her.

Come sit down, we were just getting ready to start

before you called.

(grunts)

By any chance, were you guys looking for this?

Tara found the remote.

We've been looking for this all day.

Cool, now we're all set.

So, let her rip.

Pass the popcorn, please.

Here you go.

Thanks.

I know this is only for one night,

but it's better therapy than I can get anywhere.

Well, don't try sweet-talking us.

You're going back tomorrow.

I know. (chuckles)

I know, I know.

MAN: Lights out.

SECOND MAN: Is anybody gonna cry tonight?

THIRD MAN: I got ten bucks that says

the new pigeon cries for his mama before morning.

You know the one, the one that took the little joy ride.

You know, he's right next door to me.

I'll make him cry. And say,

he can cry on my shoulder anytime.

Come on, mama's boy, let's hear you cry.

Is anybody gonna cry tonight? Come on, sweetheart.

Let's hear those teardrops fall.

Let's hear those teardrops fall. Shut up!

Let's hear those... Shut up, shut up!

Shut up!

(panting) Hey, hey.

Hey, what's wrong?

You okay?

It's okay, it's okay.

You're here, you're here.

What's wrong? I can't...

I can't go to prison.

I cannot go to prison.

I won't make it.

No, no, no, no, you're not...

you're not going back to prison.

I won't let that happen.

It's okay.

Why are you standing by me?

I sabotage everything,

every decent thing that gets in my way.

Past is past, okay?

I love you.

And I'll do anything I can.

Okay?

JOAN: Woo-hoo!

Wow, Excelsior Hotel!

(sighs)

Place look familiar?

Oh, it's been closed for years.

Do you guys remember the Stardust Ballroom?

Oh, God, do we ever.

We... we wore out the dance floor, didn't we?

Yeah... this used to be

one of the most romantic nightclubs

in Los Angeles.

All the stars used to come here.

It was the place to be seen.

Even when rock and roll was the rage,

everyone who was anyone

still came to the Stardust Ballroom.

Well, they still do.

(chuckling)

(all laughing)

(Joan gasps)

Whoa.

(chuckling)

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to the Stardust Ballroom.

Maestro, the music, please.

(slow jazz music playing)

How did you ever pull this off?

Well, we pulled some strings.

(Joan laughs excitedly)

That's where we sat the first time we came here.

And something else pretty special

happened that night, too.

What was that?

Our first kiss.

(sighs) Aw.

Care to dance?

I'd love to.

Come on.

(sighs) This is the most terrific night.

The night is still young.

(both laughing)

Thank you for making all the

wonderful memories come alive again.

Oh, I think we have those guys over there to thank.

In fact, I think we taught them

a little something about romance, didn't we?

JOAN: Maybe we did.

What do you say, babe?

Love to.

(giggling)

How about it, beautiful?

Charmed.

♪ I have waited for this moment ♪

♪ To come true... ♪

♪ A million years of dreaming ♪

♪ Someday, one day ♪

♪ I'll make love to you. ♪