Original subtitles

Oh, man, can you believe this turnout tonight?

Of course I can.

This is my dream, my vision, my party!

Well, I thought Dylan was supposed to be on duty.

Well, he is, but he probably got some hot date or something.

Probably with a bottle of tequila.

It's okay, the way I've got this place wired,

it'll practically run itself. Hey, man.

Yeah, well, I got to hand it to you, Steve.

I didn't think you could pull it off.

Everybody doubted me. Everybody except Valerie. Hey, baby.

Hey!

Yeah, she's a good one.

I'll say.

I'm taking it real slow. Playing it real low-key.

Well, it seems to be working.

Yeah, everything's working for me.

I'm hot, hot-hot-hot!

Don't touch me, you'll burn yourself.

Come on.

All right, yeah, hey, have a great time.

Howdy.

Howdy.

I'd like to speak to the owners, please.

I'm sorry, they're not around.

Is there something I can do for you?

Are you in charge?

Absolutely.

Then this is for you.

What's this?

Fire Marshal.

You'll have to shut down and move out.

What?!

Maximum capacity's 150 people.

We got these laws for a reason, fella.

I heard about these laws.

I'm sure you're not trying to bribe a County official.

No.

I hoped you'd say that.

All right, kiddies,

the party's over!

Already?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

STEVE: Come on, Bussichio. I told you I'd pay the fine.

That's not the point, Steve.

Having an after-hours club is a good idea,

but it's not right for the Peach Pit.

Not right? Do you have any idea

how much money we cleared

before Fire Marshal Bill decided to fill his quota?

Quota, shmota.

I can't afford to shut down again.

And we can't afford to walk away from the Peach Pit After Dark.

I'm telling you, not with the word of mouth we have going!

Guys,

why don't we charge twice as much

and let in half as many people?

Or better yet,

why don't you just get a bigger place?

Then we could have live music.

Wait a minute. Are you saying

move the Peach Pit? Are you out of your minds?

Well, you don't have to move it.

The rug store next door is going out of business.

Nakoom? Hah! He's been going out of business

the last five years.

I bet we can

get a lease dirt cheap.

Who can afford the lease

when I can't even afford to pay the fine?

Well, what about your silent partner?

What about him?

Well, all I keep hearing is what a moneybags Dylan McKay is.

And Steve says

he never refuses you anything.

♪ Nobody ever told you, ever told you ♪

♪ That you're gonna be mine, well, here's a little story ♪

♪ Of the glory of the Big Bang Theory ♪

♪ Oh, she's so dreamy, so dreamy ♪

♪ Like a Hollywood movie ♪

♪ Na, na-na, na, na-na, na-na, na-na-na ♪

♪ So dreamy like a Hollywood... ♪

♪ Na, na-na, na, na-na, na-na, na-na-na ♪

♪ Na, na-na, na, na-na, na-na, na-na-na ♪

♪ Yeah... ♪

♪ I've been around the world and I've seen every girl ♪

♪ And you know what? ♪ ♪ What? ♪

♪ When I see you walk up, I've been around the world ♪

♪ And I've seen every girl ♪

♪ And you know what? ♪ ♪ What? ♪

♪ When I see you walk up. ♪ ♪ What? ♪

Ray, hi.

Hi.

I, uh, I just came by to bring you something.

Oh, it's so cute!

A baby pumpkin!

And...

Oh, my God! It's huge!

This is the biggest one of the season

and that's the smallest.

So, it's kind of an unmatched set.

Well, thank you.

That was very nice of you.

So, uh, if you're not busy tonight,

maybe we could hang out and decorate 'em or something.

Okay, great.

Donna, you're not gonna

believe this.

Hello, Ray. Hi.

Look what Ray brought us.

The tiniest pumpkin on the lot, and...

the pumpkin that ate Santa Monica.

How big of him.

So, uh, I'm gonna go.

Okay, well, uh, about tonight? What time?

Um, I don't know.

I might have to work, so I'll call you later.

Okay.

See ya.

Bye. Thank you.

Listen, if Andrea calls,

tell her there's been a change of plans

and she should meet me here in an hour.

Bring the baby.

Okay, but if she's coming here, why are you leaving?

I have to pick up Erin.

Jackie had some scheduling problems,

which is short for saying "quality time with Mommy has

to wait till Mommy's had her manicure."

Wait!

Are Mr. and Mrs. Walsh still going to Palm Springs tonight?

Yes, they are, and I'm going to be staying there

so you can tell Mr. Ray that I won't be bothering you.

Although, what you see in him...

You were just leaving, weren't you?

(chuckles): Yes.

Thought so.

(Middle-Eastern accent): Right this way, my friend.

I'm about to blow your mind.

A little early for that, isn't it, Steve?

Come on. Come on. It's over here.

Can we get a cup of coffee first?

First things first. You gotta check this place out.

I'm telling you it couldn't be more perfect.

Habib, how are the women treating you?

Al Nakoom,

this is Dylan McKay.

It's a pleasure to meet you, sir.

The pleasure's ours.

Uh, Mr. Nakoom, could I have a second with these guys, please?

Certainly.

Nat, what's going on?

The Fire Marshal shut down our after-hours club last night

for exceeding our capacity.

Penalized for being popular, huh?

Exactly! The club is a cash cow, man.

But instead of selling the farm,

we're gonna milk it for all it's worth and expand here.

We don't even have to knock down any walls.

Well, no major walls.

You guys want to buy Nakoom's rug store?

Not buy it, lease it.

For three one-year options.

Four months, we'll make our investment back.

The rest is gravy.

It could be a gold mine.

People need a place to go.

It'd fill a void.

It's money in the bank.

What are you two, surround sound?

D, I don't wanna pressure you.

Take your time and think about it.

But don't think about it too long, please.

I absolutely need a tenant.

This time, we are really going

out of business.

I don't need to think about it.

These guys say it's a gold mine.

I said that.

Mm.

NAT: I think it's a good idea, Dylan.

This may finally get the Peach Pit out of the red.

How much?

The whole shebang: remodeling,

closing costs, permits, a measly 150,000 bucks.

$150,000, Steve?

More or less.

Possibly more.

Probably less.

It's a deal...

on one condition: I gotta have a cup of coffee.

(laughs)

Coffee, please.

I'm buying for everybody.

Okay, Mel is going to pick Erin up

at your place right after lunch.

He better be on time for once.

Well, I could drop her back by if you want. No-no-no.

He has specific instructions about her nap and everything.

Where are my shoes?!

Mom, what's your portfolio doing out?

Do you see my eyelash curler?

Would you stop for one second and talk to me, please?

Honey, I am just so crazed.

About a manicure?

No, I'm working.

Beekman Mills is doing a "Fabulous at Forty" campaign

to promote their new cosmetic line, and they want me.

And Claude is doing the shoot,

but he has to leave town Monday, so it has to be tonight.

I can't believe you're modeling again.

Kelly, do not start.

Only if you promise me

that this isn't going to be a regular occurrence.

Are you willing to pay my bills? Because they

are a very regular occurrence.

Mom, you know how bad it is for you.

It's not worth it in the long run.

Please, I may truly be "Fabulous at Forty,"

but I am only a novelty act.

If there is ever a big demand for my age bracket,

then we can discuss this.

But for now, it's a one-shot deal.

And I, for one, would really like to feel

like I'm not completely over the hill. Okay?

Okay.

Good-bye, baby.

Oh, good-bye, baby.

JIM (a la Ricky Ricardo): Lucy, I'm home!

Good timing.

I just got back from Dr. Tisherman's.

And? (liquid pouring)

He gave us the green light.

Which means?

It means we go "have fun the old-fashioned way"

and, uh, we go back in six months

if we have nothing to show for it.

Well, Mrs. Walsh, I can't think of anyone else

I'd rather make a baby with.

(clears throat)

Hey! Oh, hi guys.

(chuckles): Didn't see you making out over there.

Don't stop on our account.

We wouldn't want you to beat the traffic

to Palm Springs or anything silly like that.

Brandon, relax.

Uh, maybe we better put the bags in the car?

Yeah, I just have to wait for one fax.

(groans): You see?

I told you it was a mistake

to bring that machine into our home.

I just have to sign it and send it right back.

(fax beeping)

BRANDON: I don't get it, Dad.

I thought you stopped handling

Dylan's finances a long time ago.

I did, but until Dylan completes the paperwork,

I still have to sign off on any transaction involving his house.

So if this is just a formality, why don't you sign

the piece of paper and let us get on the road?

Because it's bugging me.

I mean, with all his assets,

why would Dylan take an equity line out on his house?

BRANDON: Maybe because he's spending

his money like there's no tomorrow.

Is he still bitter about you and Kelly?

It wouldn't surprise me.

But I hear he's with a different girl

pretty much every night.

It just doesn't make any sense.

I mean, you don't want to take out a mortgage

on your home unless you really have to.

Then obviously he has to.

Valerie, Dylan's a millionaire.

No, he's not.

Not anymore.

How do you know?

I just know, okay?

The truth is, Dylan's broke.

(doorbell rings)

Erin, ask who it is first. (door opens)

MEL: Hi, darlin'!

Hi! Hi, darlin'!

Come here.

Erin, you must never do that again.

Don't worry, Kelly.

She knows me by my scent.

(giggling)

How's it going?

Erin's fine; Jackie's another story.

Go ahead.

Here I was hoping you would tell me not to be concerned.

Why would you be concerned, Mel?

(chuckles softly): Didn't you once tell me

that you felt that all the modeling you did as a kid

warped your... body image and damaged your self-esteem?

Since when are you so worried about Jackie's self-esteem?

I was talking about Erin.

Why?

Erin, Jackie,

Claude...

the mother-daughter photo shoot?

Mother-daughter photo shoot?

You didn't know?

No, can't say that I did.

CINDY: I am sorry, but that little girl

who idolized Dylan and loved him like a brother

was not a con artist.

No, maybe not Erica, but I wouldn't

put it past her mother. Neither would I.

JIM: Remember when I found 20 grand

in Suzanne's bank account

after she'd told Dylan she was broke?

That's right, she said it was from

some insurance settlement, right?

Yeah, and Dylan bought it,

hook, line and sinker-- with Erica as the bait.

I still can't believe it.

It certainly fits with the way Dylan's been acting lately.

JIM: I feel really terrible about this.

To think we came this close

to putting our own money in the deal.

I better get back to the office.

Should I call the resort and say we need a late check-in?

I don't think this is the day to be going out of town, honey.

Great timing, Val.

I'm sorry, you guys.

What were you doing with Dylan McKay? Jim.

JIM: We explicitly told you to stay away from that guy.

I know. I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have said anything.

That's not the point.

Well, why didn't you say something sooner?

Does anyone else know about this?

No, I don't think so.

And please, don't tell him I told you.

We were at the Peach Pit one night, and Dylan was drunk.

He needed somebody to talk to.

I was there. That's all.

That's all?

Well...

he wanted to kiss me.

I told him

that's not what I had in mind.

But he was so drunk,

I don't think he remembered in the morning.

Please, you have to believe me.

Of course we believe you, Valerie.

This news is just such a shock.

JIM: I'm sorry, honey.

I'll try not to be home too late.

(doorbell rings)

Griffin. Hi.

What are you doing here?

Delivering these.

And this.

And hopefully, sweeping you off your feet.

Metaphorically speaking.

Shall we? Or...

perhaps you should get your wrap.

Uh...

Uh, Donna, uh, sorry, Griffin called

early this morning-- I forgot to tell you.

He wanted to know what you were doing tonight.

I told him that you were just gonna hang out

and help me put up pictures and stuff.

Hope that was okay.

Hi, Griffin. How's it going?

Hi.

Oh, my gosh, uh,

you-you want me to go out with you right now?

What, you don't like the flowers?

No, no. (laughs)

It's just I... I sort of made plans.

Cancel them.

Um...

You won't regret it, I swear.

I have the entire evening planned.

Reservations confirmed-- I have my father's keys,

so we're gonna be going in style.

And the fact is, I simply

will not take no for an answer.

Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?

No, but you... can tell me on the way.

I just... I got to go change.

I've got to remember that "won't take no for an answer" line.

That was smooth. Mm, believe me.

She is not going to forget this evening.

(line ringing)

Come on, Ray.

Clare, listen, if Ray calls, tell him I need

to take a rain check, okay? Mm-hmm.

Don't forget this time.

I'll be gentle.

Okay.

Ready?

Do not-- I repeat-- do not wait up.

We'll see you tomorrow.

(line ringing)

Mommy!

Hi, baby cakes!

I was beginning to wonder where you were.

Where's your daddy?

I don't know.

Her father sent me instead.

Kelly, what are you doing here?

I should ask you the same thing.

Didn't we go through this?

No. You left out the part where Erin

gets to follow in my illustrious footsteps.

Honey, I was in a hurry.

Why are you bringing

a three-year-old to a night shoot?

I mean, you're messing up her entire routine, and for what?

How about for a down payment on her college fund?

Or her orthodontia,

her teen tours, her car phone...

Why don't you just sell her

into indentured servitude while you're at it?

Okay, let's just take it down a notch, here.

I honestly do not see what you are so upset about.

I told you,

this is a one-shot deal; they asked me

to do them a favor at the last minute, and I feel honored.

It's as simple as that.

Now if you are so afraid that Erin is

going to be traumatized by this experience,

why don't you stick around and make sure she's okay?

All right, I think I will. Okay.

Fine.

That'll be helpful, actually.

I'm sorry if I overreacted.

Oh, come here, you.

And come here, you.

DONNA: Griffin, when you said your father gave you his keys,

I thought you meant to his car.

Just tell me one thing.

We're not gonna parachute down, right?

No, no, we're gonna land and everything.

I just, uh, thought it might be a little difficult

to drive to Catalina Island.

Oh, don't get me wrong,

I'm not complaining.

This is terrific.

You know, I've always wanted to do something like this.

I just never met the right girl to do it with.

So how do you know I'm the right girl?

Because you have the perfect body temperature

at any elevation.

(doorbell rings)

Hi. Hey.

I bet you're looking for Donna.

Yeah, is she around?

Something came up. She said she'll call you.

Maybe I could hang around for a while and wait for her.

No, I don't think so.

I kind of have a guest myself, so...

No sweat.

I'll just, I'll wait outside.

Ray, babe...

listen up. I hate

to break this to you, but she's out on a date

so you're going to have to take a rain check.

You know how it is:

so many men, so little time.

Yeah, thanks a lot, "babe."

Hey. Don't go away mad.

♪ ♪

Dylan, how are you?

Pretty good, why?

Do I look green or something?

Come on in back with me.

Come on.

Hello, Dylan.

Hello, Jim. What can I do for you?

Listen, I know we've had our differences in the past...

Must you always start by stating the obvious?

Okay, I guess it's best that, uh,

we cut to the chase.

Look, I've been made aware of your monetary situation.

What "situation"?

Come on, I just want to talk.

Yeah, but I don't want to talk to you, and I certainly

don't want to discuss my monetary situation.

You fired me as your client, remember?

You're not my financial advisor anymore.

You aren't anything.

Come on, don't be this way.

I might be able to help.

I don't want your help.

Dylan.

Look...

when you applied for that line of credit,

the bank contacted me and I did some investigating.

I'm sorry.

I've been racking my brain

trying to come up with a solution.

Yeah, well, rest your brains,

'cause there is no solution.

Okay, the money's gone; it's over.

You don't have any leads

as to where Kevin and Suzanne might be hiding?

I don't have any leads

as to where Kevin and Suzanne are hiding.

There, I said it.

You happy now? Dylan,

this doesn't make me happy.

I think it does.

I think you just can't wait

to tell me that I got everything

I deserved, everything that was coming to me,

so why don't you just skip everything else

and say it and get out of my face.

I'm so glad I canceled a trip

with my wife for this.

Jim... Talk to you later, Nat.

(door closes)

(laughs): Oh, God...

Your new mission,

if you decide to accept it,

is to stick this entire piece of watermelon

Not a chance. No, no-no. in your mouth at one time.

Oh... (giggles)

Please, commander, no more, please.

I'm not the commander.

I'm the all-knowing watermelon guru.

Thanks to you, I'm a mess.

Yeah, you are.

Take off your shirt. I'll throw it in the wash.

There's T-shirts in the bottom drawer

if you're freezing.

Oh, that's disgusting.

Can you open the door for me, please?

Yeah. Thank you.

I can't believe you.

Bye. (giggles)

Now I know why we get along so well.

That is something I would have done.

In fact, that's something I have done.

Mmm! I hope you don't mind that I borrowed these.

What do you mean?

Well, you said, "Make yourself at home."

David, those are my handcuffs?

Uh-huh.

I don't have the key.

Yes, you do.

This is for my jewelry box.

I lost the handcuff key when I was...

That's a different story.

Oh, my God!

Oh, great.

We better call a locksmith.

Uh-uh. Not so fast.

First, I get to have my way with you.

(doorbell rings)

Who could that be?

I don't know.

It better not be that Ray guy again.

Don't you move, now.

Very funny.

Man!

Surprise!

Daddy!

My dinner got canceled

at the last minute.

I suddenly realized I've been so busy

I haven't even seen where my daughter is living.

Aren't you going to invite me in?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure.

Come in. Come in.

Oh. Why don't we go grab a bite? I'm starved.

Great. Just show me your room, and we'll go.

Oh, there's really nothing to see, Dad.

It's a total mess.

Oh, come on. It can't be that bad.

Uh... Let me straighten up first, okay?

The view. Why don't you look at the view?

It's... it's really beautiful. It's really special.

Clare, it's dark out.

I'm going to go call the restaurant.

Okay, Dad? Um...

I'll be right back.

Just going to make some reservations, okay?

Just one second.

What took you so long?

My father is here, and he's not leaving.

You're kidding. Your father?

I'm going to get expelled!

Hi. Hello. Is this Marina Lock & Key?

You got it.

Yeah, we have a bit of an emergency.

Could you come over right away?

The address is 1610 Lighthouse Road,

apartment four. Okay?

1610 Lighthouse Road, apartment four.

Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Bye.

Clare, you can't let him see me. Lie down.

Why? Shut up and lie down, okay?

Clare, what good is this going to do?

David, unless you lie

perfectly still, this may become

a very, very weird scene here.

Okay? But...

Shh!

(sighs)

(sighs)

Okay, Dad, come on in.

Okay.

Hi.

Told you it was a mess.

At least you've got some pictures up.

(chuckles)

Hey.

That was Sun Valley, wasn't it?

Yep, it was, actually.

Boy, I'm starved, Dad.

Let's go to get something.

Did you get a reservation?

Uh... no, I didn't, but they said

we wouldn't need one, but we've got to go right now.

Okay?

Okay, let's do it.

CLARE: Oh, forgot my sweater, one sec.

The locksmith'll be here in a half hour, okay?

Clare, wait. Shh.

Wait, Clare.

Who's going to open the door?

Ah, man.

Um... vanilla ice cream, please.

No, no, n-n-no.

She'll have the tiramisu.

You can have ice cream anytime.

Well, okay, but you have to eat most of it.

I can't believe this is your first time on the island.

So when do we have to leave?

Uh, depends on what time we get up.

Excuse me?

We don't have to go to sleep at all.

I mean, we can watch the sun come up together.

Um, you wa-- you want to spend the night?

Well, I, I didn't bring any clothes.

Well, you can wear that again tomorrow.

I won't mind.

And we can always pick up a toothbrush at the hotel.

You booked a hotel? Well, I,

I did call ahead and their best room is available.

Yeah, I bet it has a king-size bed, right?

One big ol' bed, huh? Oh,

and wait till you catch the view.

(scoffs)

You did say you wanted to see this place during the day?

(sighs)

Griffin, I meant some other time.

You knew that. Well, I won't touch you.

How about that?

I'll be the... I'll be a perfect gentleman.

Yeah, well,

a perfect gentleman wouldn't have put me in this position

in the first place.

And a perfect gentleman wouldn't have orchestrated

this little overnight excursion without asking me.

Don't get so upset, all right?

You don't want to stay over.

I got the message.

Good. Waiter.

(sighs)

This...

gentleman needs his check.

(Valerie sighs)

Steve, I-I'm sorry.

I-I'm really tired tonight.

Maybe tomorrow?

I will.

Okay, bye.

It's okay to come in?

Sure.

(clearing throat): Listen, Val,

if you're interested in Dylan,

why don't you just cut Steve loose?

I told you, Brandon, there's nothing between me and Dylan.

Steve's a good friend of mine

and I don't want to see him getting hung up

on someone who doesn't appreciate him.

I appreciate Steve.

He's a great guy.

He's, he's fun, he's very outgoing.

Whereas Dylan is a loner with a big chip on his shoulder

and absolutely no sense of humor.

Well, maybe you just don't understand him.

And you do, huh? All I know is

it's really hard to keep a sense of humor

about the way the universe operates

when you feel like the joke's on you.

Well, you wouldn't be the first girl I shared a bathroom with

who thought she could heal his wounded psyche.

And how would your psyche hold up

if your dad blew up in a car right in front of your eyes?

I don't think you'd be

Mr. Congeniality either.

(scraping)

Going somewhere?

Yeah, I could use some fresh air.

Is that okay with you?

Just be careful, Val.

(door opens)

Finally.

Clare.

Clare, get in here.

Clare.

Kelly?

There's a very good explanation for this.

There, see, don't you look pretty?

Yes.

Sure you don't want a little weave, honey, just for fun?

I'm sure.

I cannot get over how gorgeous you turned out.

Of course, I don't know why I'm so surprised.

You were such a stunning child.

Thanks, Doreen, but I'm not model beautiful.

Have you looked in the mirror lately?

You should be doing this shoot.

No doubt about that.

Well, I wasn't asked.

Well, probably your mom didn't want the competition.

With your looks, you'd leave her in the dust.

(chuckles)

And Jackie never could stand sharing

that spotlight with you.

Now, could she?

Uh-uh, uh-uh.

Jackie, hi, you look great.

How you doing, pumpkin?

Mom, what's taking them so long?

Patience, patience.

We're up next.

Well, you should have been up first.

You have a toddler here.

Claude.

How's it going?

Good, good,

uh, but Teresa has a plane to catch, so I'm bumping her up.

You just relax, hang out.

Do you want something to eat?

Um, a Calistoga?

Claude,

Erin's falling asleep.

She really needs to go next.

We'll wake her up. It's not a problem.

No, she's exhausted.

Look at her.

CLAUDE: What can I do?

Take her home, then.

We'll, uh, try to reschedule.

Kelly.

What the hell are you...

You told me to look out for her best interests.

She's not complaining, she's fine.

I'm sorry, but... I cannot believe you.

You didn't want me to do this in the first place.

I should say the same thing to you.

What's that supposed to mean?

Why didn't you ask me to be in the shoot?

Because you would have said no.

How do you know? You have been nothing

but negative since the beginning of this thing.

If it's so bad for Erin and so bad for me,

then why in the world would you want to do it?

Maybe I wouldn't have,

but you could have asked.

You could have shown me that you thought of me

as something more than your on-call babysitter.

Don't do me any favors.

I'm sorry if I imposed on your time, Kelly.

Come on, sweetie, maybe they can fit us in tomorrow.

Or maybe I'll just go shoot myself.

How do we get ourselves into these things, David?

"Into" is not the question.

How we're going to get out is what I want to know.

Well, you'll be a free man soon.

Good thing the locksmith's open 24 hours.

Yeah, well, hopefully it won't take him 24 hours

to get here this time.

Oh, by the way, Ray stopped by earlier.

Oh, no, what'd he say?

Well, I guess he was pretty bummed you stood him up.

Clare said it seemed like he was about ready

to take his pumpkins and go home.

(clicks tongue)

(sighs)

He's a pretty intense guy, isn't he?

(door closes)

(door closes)

David, I've got to go find Ray.

Now? Yes.

He smashed the pumpkins.

I've got to talk to him.

Donna, you're kidding.

Donna, don't leave.

(door opens)

Who's going to open the door when the locksmith...

(door closes)

No!

(groans loudly)

(knocking) Dylan.

Hello?

It's me.

I've got to remember to lock that door.

Are you alone?

'Cause if not, I'll go.

And what if I am?

Will you still go?

Look, I just want to talk to you.

I think you've done enough talking lately.

I don't know what you mean. I mean I got

a visit from Jim Walsh I could live without.

Can I help it if he got a fax about you

and started nosing around?

You don't gotta give me crap about a fax.

I know you told him that I'm broke.

You don't lie very well. I hate a liar.

Well, you've been lying to everybody for months.

Pretending you're still Richie Rich.

Why were you trying to hide it anyway?

It was only a matter of time.

So, what-- you did me a big favor

by expediting the inevitable?

I don't think so, I think

you're mad 'cause you came in here

and caught me with a girl the other night.

You don't know how intimidating

Jim Walsh can be.

Oh, I know exactly how intimidating

Jim Walsh can be.

What did he do, bully you?

What am I supposed to do?

I'm living in his house.

Hey, stand up to him.

I mean, Bren did.

In fact she got pretty good there in the old end,

you know, standing up to Big Jim.

You know the Walshes were really concerned about you.

Yeah,

well, if they cared so much, tell me this,

why was I never good enough for their daughter, huh?

At least Brenda had the guts

to call 'em on it.

You know, I am not Brenda!

I will never be Brenda!

Don't talk to me about Brenda!

No, you're not Brenda.

You're just pretending to be and I think you like it.

I think, I think you like living in Brenda's house,

you like sleeping in Brenda's bed,

you got Brenda's brother

and Brenda's parents all there

in that nice cozy little package,

instant family!

What's wrong with that?

Nothin'.

(doorbell ringing)

Oh, hi.

You just missed Brandon.

He-he should be back soon though.

What're you still doing here?

I mean, I, uh,

thought you'd be gone by now and... It's all right.

Uh, Brandon tried to call you.

We had a, um, a change in plans.

Ah.

Well, so did I.

Is everything all right?

Do you have any ice cream?

Oh, absolutely.

(chuckles)

My mom was constantly reminding me

that the camera adds ten pounds.

So by the time I was seven,

I was so brainwashed

I wouldn't even eat birthday cake anymore.

Finally, I just got sick of the pressure

and I got fat.

To spite her I think.

But I stayed that way for awhile,

till high school.

I just can't see your mother putting Erin

through the same turmoil.

I'm sure she is really looking at this

as just a one time thing.

It just felt like she was

trying to sneak something past me.

So what's bothering you more...

that she put Erin to work,

or that she didn't tell you she was doing it?

I don't know.

Maybe it was that she didn't ask me

to be in the shoot with her.

She claimed I would've just turned her down.

You know, that sounds exactly

like the excuse Brenda gave me

when she didn't ask me to be

in that mother-daughter fashion show

at the high school.

The fashion show from hell?

Yeah.

That was the first time I met your mother.

I'm sure she made a great first impression on you.

Only Jackie would think that she could

MC the show high and nobody would notice.

You know, your mother has come a long way since then.

I mean, think about what she's been through.

She got married, she had a baby,

she got divorced,

and through it all she stayed clean and sober.

And she still manages to look fabulous at 40.

Boy,

if someone asked me to be in an ad campaign like that,

ooh, I'd jump at the chance.

Like to try some chocolate chip mint?

No, thanks.

Will you just, uh,

tell Brandon that I'll talk to him tomorrow?

Yeah.

(crickets chirping)

(footsteps)

Who's there?

Donna?

You scared me!

You shouldn't be walking around out here alone at night.

Well, I'm not alone.

You're with me.

You have a point.

So, how was your date?

Ray, I'm so sorry.

You said you'd call me,

and then when I called you, you weren't there and...

...And it was terrible.

I would've rather have been with you.

Yeah? So why'd you go?

Look, he wouldn't take no for an answer.

So he put the moves on you?

Ray...

Hey, none of my business.

(sighs)

Look, I...

I just wanted to tell you how sorry I was.

You came all the way out here to tell me you were sorry?

You're crazy.

So, does that mean you forgive me?

I trashed your pumpkins

and you're asking me to forgive you?

Well, about that, you,

you know, you could've just left me a note.

I guess it's my turn to apologize.

No, you don't have to.

I don't know what came over me, Donna.

It's only 'cause I care about you.

Maybe a little too much.

I don't think that's possible.

I would never push you

to do anything you didn't want to do, Donna.

I'd never pressure you into anything.

Well, that's good to know.

I just want to be with you.

If you're going to bawl me out again,

can it wait until tomorrow?

I'm not going to bawl you out.

'Cause Claude promised

he would squeeze me in tomorrow

and I have to look like I got a few hours sleep.

Well, maybe you'll sleep better

after I say what I have to say.

Okay, on one condition.

You can't make me cry. I'll be too puffy.

I can't promise that.

Uh-oh.

Just listen.

I realized that I've been too hard on you.

I mean, even though the modeling thing

didn't turn out so well for us in the past,

you're a much stronger person now

and a much better mother.

My eyes are gonna be little pits.

I just wanted to say

that I'm not gonna put my two cents in anymore,

not unless you ask.

But I wish you'd ask.

Well,

I have a confession to make.

The real reason

I didn't want you in the shoot

was a very selfish one,

because they asked for both you and Erin, you know.

They did?

But then I pictured the ad,

and I thought if anyone saw a toddler

and a young woman,

and an older women,

they wouldn't think the older woman

was the mother of the other two.

They would think you were Erin's mother,

which leaves me as... the grandma.

I can't even say the word without shivering.

Mother...

I just wasn't ready to be the "older generation".

Can you understand that at all?

Come on, don't they say "Life begins at 40"?

The slogan I remember is "Don't trust anyone over 30."

It's funny.

Because I thought the reason

that you didn't want me to be in the shoot with you

was because you didn't think I was pretty enough.

Oh, no, was that what you really thought?

Because you are a very beautiful girl,

and I would be proud to show you off as my daughter.

Fess up, Silver. Come on,

in the beginning, in the very beginning,

before Clare's father got there,

when you were a captive in handcuffs

and at her mercy--

don't even tell me you weren't a little bit turned on?

Steve, I can't even believe you're asking me about this,

all right, it was a nightmare.

I live for stuff like this.

Imagine if she...

I don't need to imagine anything.

I was there!

All right, my wrist still hurts.

(laughs)

Was she pissed you broke her bed?

Excuse me,

but anyone who drives all the way to Monterey Park

to go to her favorite Chinese restaurant,

then talks her dad into seeing a double feature at the Nuart,

has no right to be pissed.

I mean, I could've died waiting there for her.

You could've chewed your arm off.

Shut up.

Hey man, you couldn't have died.

Steve, I don't want to argue about this anymore, all right.

I could have died, and that's final!

All right, whatever you say, bondage boy.

That's very funny, just drive.

(horn honking)

(knocking on door)

McKay!

(sighs)

Guys, it's a little early, isn't it?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

but you'll never guess what I have here.

I've got the preliminary sketches

to the new and improved Peach Pit After Dark.

Great. Steve, I'll tell you what.

I'll look at 'em later, but thanks for stopping by.

Well, wait, can't you look at 'em now?

Come on, pal,

I can't get any bids without these plans.

We gotta strike while the iron is hot.

Steve, we'll strike while the iron is warm,

okay? Look, we're at a critical stage, right here.

I don't want to waste any time. That's why

I had to light a fire underneath the designer's butt.

The guy was up all night, Dylan.

He's not the only one, Steve.

This'll just take a minute.

Look, uh,

maybe we should do this another time, Steve.

There's no time like the present, David.

Yeah, well, maybe we should, uh,

let Dylan look at these when he's had time

to wake up.

Feast your eyes on this!

Steve,

don't get the wrong idea or anything.

Yeah, Val, I think he already got the idea.

Oh, I get it,

joke's on me, huh?

On second thought,

why don't we just, uh...

cut our losses here, okay?

You know, I've got something else for you, McKay...