Original subtitles

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Hey!

That's not dog food.

Go on, get out of here!

Get out of here!

(barks)

Great...

Kelly. (screams)

Got your mosquito repellant all ready

for the big retreat weekend?

All set. Good.

What did Dylan say?

Well... about what?

Me being your trophy date?

I prefer the term "first lady."

Well, it's not his decision,

but we do have his blessing. Good.

I assured him that we'd be surrounded

by distinguished chaperones.

"Surrounded" is the right word.

The chancellor will be there.

Dean Trimble, leader types

from a dozen campuses. Mmm.

Wall-to-wall overachievers.

We'll fit right in.

What's that?

That is none of your business.

A little secret?

Yeah, a little housewarming gift for Steve.

Oh, in that case, spare me.

Okay. I've got to go.

We're doing "Monogamy"

in Lucinda Nicholson's class... Pro or con?

Well, I can't imagine her having anything good

to say about it, but I'll let you know.

See you tomorrow. Bye.

Ow! (laughs)

BRANDON: Gentlemen,

I give to you the guardian angel

of single rooms everywhere.

Oh, Jane.

Mrs. Turner, huh?

Fierce. Mmm. Fierce.

You don't know how lucky you are to have this place.

Oh, yes, I do.

It became very clear to me

that I was not going to see much action

sharing a room with three pledglings.

Wait a minute, guys.

I thought that KEG was the ultimate love den.

Yeah,

if your girlfriend is into sex as a spectator sport.

I'm sure Steve

would be happy to loan his new digs

to a brother in need of a little privacy.

Ooh, I'm sorry guys,

my deal here does not include subletting this place

by the hour.

(rock music playing)

Artie, don't you ever get sick of that song?

I'm trying to find out.

You've listened to that 20 times in a row.

Is this some experiment to see if you can drive me crazy?

I didn't know you were there.

Guys, this is, um, Kathy Fisher,

Andrea's resident advisor.

ARTIE: Hi. MUNTZ: Hi, Kathy.

ARTIE: Kathy, could you, uh,

move a little to the left, please?

♪ No time to dwell about the past... ♪

And, uh, could you hold this?

Ugh.

Look, I'm only two doors away and I can hear everything

that goes on here. Kathy,

come on, we're just... I'm warning you,

there's no way this floor is turning

into the KEG house annex.

And you can tell Andrea that.

No, I'll call her myself.

♪ Why don't you let it go ♪

♪ Before it gets too late... ♪

Don't pretend you didn't see the resemblance.

Artie, would it have killed you

to go 30 seconds without pissing her off?

I'm trying to keep this place.

Yeah, everything's ruined.

Muntz...!

Listen, guys, this was my fault.

Next time, I'll bring you the periodic table of the elements.

So, historically,

very few cultures have saddled themselves

with this notion of "till death do us part."

Instead, people tended

toward something Margaret Mead called "serial monogamy,"

which is what?

Anyone?

KELLY: It's the idea that we take

different partners for different phases of our lives.

One for sex when we're young,

one to father our children,

and one for companionship as we grow older.

Right.

And, unlike most academics,

Margaret Mead put her money where her mouth is.

That's exactly what she did in her own life.

Where's it end?

I mean, why not just have someone new every year?

I've tried it.

I wouldn't recommend it.

LUCINDA: Well, let me leave you with one radical thought:

Monogamy is...

sleeping with one person at a time.

Have a good weekend.

So, which one of those partners am I?

Nat's your partner.

Ha, ha, ha.

Are you coming to the Peach Pit?

Yeah, I'll catch up with you. Okay.

What are you doing here?

You weren't supposed to hear that.

Well, then I'm glad I did.

That was quite some finale, teach.

A little sensational, I know, but whatever it takes

to bring them back next week.

Thank you for letting me read your grant proposal.

And...

what'd you think? Oh, I don't know,

I think it's a little presumptuous of me

to pass judgment on your doctoral thesis.

You didn't like it.

Quite the contrary.

I was pretty amazed.

I'd like to see that film sometime.

Oh, I don't know if that's such a great idea.

The, the film is very unfinished.

Well, isn't that the point?

You need money to finish it.

You two have no idea how weird this is--

I mean, hitting up an undergrad for a grant to finish my thesis.

How's tomorrow?

Well, I'll be off with the brain trust

for higher education,

but you guys go ahead.

Okay. I'll book a room.

I'll be there.

Why do I feel like everything Lucinda says

is targeted right at me?

Everyone does.

She's trying to be thought-provoking.

DONNA: It's a good thing Andrea was at the doctor,

because she would have had a miscarriage.

Oh, come on, it's interesting stuff.

The descent of women

to our present pathetic status.

Hey, if you had just said "I do" to Stuart

you would be a queen now.

More like a paid mistress.

No, I definitely called that one right.

No regrets?

Well...

maybe one.

After Stuart showed his true colors last weekend,

and Dylan had to come pick me up in Palm Springs,

somehow, on the way home, I ended up telling Dylan

that I still had a thing for him.

You did what?!

I know!

I can't believe it myself. But what can I say?

It was a long ride home

and I guess I was feeling sorry for myself.

You know, I... I think we're being stalked.

I think you're right.

(panting)

He looks hungry, doesn't he?

Oh, dogs always look hungry.

That's their job.

Hi. Come here,

I got something for you in here. Yeah.

Look, look.

What's that?

There, that's right, come on.

Oh, see? He is hungry.

He would have to be hungry to eat that stuff.

He's a pretty cool dog.

Think he belongs to anyone?

Afraid so.

That's a pretty serious- looking collar.

But there's no tags.

Well, good-bye, Mr. Dog.

(dog barks)

Uh, that's my seat. (barks)

Donna, what are you doing?

He wants to go for a ride.

You just can't take off with someone else's dog.

Well, we'll bring him back. Come on, get in, get in.

Donna... Okay, fine.

You tell him he can't go.

Come on, little fella.

Not today.

See? He's a genius.

Well, he understands the meaning of the word no.

♪ Your kiss... ♪

ANDREA: Okay,

I will tell you exactly what Kathy's message said.

"The KEG cancer is not spreading through Marlow Hall."

Does the word "unbalanced" come to mind, Andrea?

Steve, Kathy's not the point here.

You and I made a deal and you broke it.

I guess I did.

There's no guessing about it.

I said you could use my room if you laid low,

and, instead, you antagonize the resident

advisor. I'm sorry.

I hope so.

Because I'm not going to lose my room on campus over this.

You can stay there,

but no more visitors from KEG house, understand?

Okay... I promise.

Good.

Hey, Andrea, how did it go at the doctor's?

Great.

I saw my first baby picture. Want to see?

Yeah.

Here.

DONNA: Oh, so that's

what an ultrasound looks like. Mm-hmm.

DONNA: Wow, it looks kind of blurry,

but it's incredible-looking.

Look, isn't it amazing?

See, that's the head.

Jesse and I saw him on the monitor, moving.

So it's a boy?

I don't know what it is.

I don't know why I called it a "him."

I think it's a boy.

Now, to me it looks like a girl.

Steve? Tiebreaker?

I think it looks like a megaburger.

You're disgusting.

I could just be hungry.

ANDREA: Guess what, you guys?

I got the weekend job

at the campus medical research lab.

Wow!

You're really on a roll.

Yeah. And the woman I'm going to be working for

is supposed to be a first-rate researcher.

Plus she has children, so she understands.

Well, with the baby on the way,

I thought you'd want to do less, not more.

Well, it is for the baby.

We have to save money for our little friend here.

(dog barks, dishes clatter)

NAT: Hey, hey, stop that dog!

Stop that dog!

(dog whimpering)

See, I told you he was a genius.

Donna, when'd you get a dog?

Just now. Hey, wait a second.

He might prefer living at Casa Walsh.

Hey, you didn't even want him before.

No, I didn't want to abduct him.

Well, you know what wise old King Solomon would say?

Cut him in two.

Give each half.

That passed for wise?

Then.

Get the dog out, will you?

ANDREA: Aw...

Looks like the dog's already chosen.

Aw, come on, Bren, please...

Okay, but I get visiting rights.

(chuckles)

You know, babe,

you are backward in your tube culture.

Yeah, well, for an academic, I'm way ahead.

It's a miracle I've got cable.

Well, let's see, we've done Home Shopping...

done Public Access...

(man speaking Korean on television)

Neither of us speak Korean.

Oh, look, we're just in time

for the week's five biggest saves on the Hockey Channel.

Do you know what I miss least about my ex-husband?

His devotion to sports.

Right.

(television clicks off)

So are you going to miss me this weekend while I'm gone?

Well, luckily, I'll have Dylan to fill my idle hours.

Brandon, I was kidding.

So you won't be seeing Dylan?

Is this for real?

I'll be seeing him to try to get him to finance my movie.

I'll show him the film, make him a meal,

and hope he's impressed.

Let me guess: something spicy and Guatemalan.

Oh, God, you really think the world of me, don't you?

Look, I'm sorry, okay?

It's not you.

It just seems like lately, every time I get something I want,

along comes Dylan with his money and...

Brandon, I'm not some trading card.

And I really don't like this petty jealousy.

Well, what do you expect?

We spend most of our time together

pretending we're not together.

Well, it's the same for me, but I don't turn green

because you slip out of town with Kelly.

Well, maybe you should, it might be nice.

I think it's time I left.

Brandon...

If you're going to be away all weekend,

don't you want to stay now?

No.

Yeah.

No, I don't. Yeah, you do.

No, I... Yes, you... you do.

(groaning): All right, I do.

(dog barking)

No.

You know when they say

a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's?

I don't think this is what they had in mind.

Here, come here.

I'll get you something good.

No.

(classical music being played on piano, in distance)

Here.

What?

Well, I guess he's a Rachmaninoff fan, too.

So, that's what we'll call him.

Sergey Rachmaninoff?

Rocky. (dog barks)

You guys,

I don't mean to rain on your parade,

but don't you think we should find his owner

before we all get too attached to him?

Well, I'm putting the posters up today.

They're over there on the table.

Donna...

it looks more like you lost a dog than found a dog,

and it doesn't really look like him.

DONNA: Well, I did the best I could.

What are you looking at?

This shaved spot on his chest, what is this?

Yeah, there's one right there, too.

Well, maybe it's nothing.

Yeah.

JIM: So... how goes the fight to get more

teaching hours out of the senior faculty?

Could be a major victory this weekend.

The dean's already on our side

and I think the chancellor's ready to cave in.

Hey, that was fast.

Well, Kelly and I worked him like a tag team

at the Regents' Reception last week.

I didn't know Kelly was on the task force.

She's not, she just came with me... as my date.

Your date? (door opens)

KELLY: Brandon, we're here!

Dad, explain the date concept to your wife for me, will you?

Parts of this may shock you, Mom.

(Cindy laughs sarcastically, dog barking)

Kelly is going with you

on the retreat?

That's that date concept again.

Oh, this must be the genius dog Brenda was talking about.

Hey, buddy.

Yes, we named him Rocky.

Oh, as in Rambo?!

As in Rachmaninoff.

He is a musical genius.

I'm sure he is.

So, Kelly, you're going off

to this retreat with Brandon?

Yep. It's getting so he can't leave home

without me.

DONNA: Mrs. Walsh, will you look

at this, please?

Here.

Good Rocky.

That is strange.

Jim, look at that.

Do you think he was abused?

No, but...

it looks like he was operated on.

Or abducted by aliens for some heinous experiment.

Ow.

I'm serious.

Do you think he's okay?

Well, he looks just fine,

but a visit to the vet might be a good idea.

DONNA: When will Brenda be back?

She should be back in about ten minutes.

BRANDON: Well, you guys will have to say good-bye for us.

We got to get out of here.

Bye.

CINDY: Bye! Have fun.

Yo, later, Rock-o.

Bye.

(door closes)

Want some orange juice?

DONNA: Great, thanks.

Come on, up... up.

Up.

(giggles)

(knocking on door)

Muntz. Studying?

Actually, I'm reeling.

Would you believe

the male produces 100 million sperm a day?

It kind of explains everything, doesn't it?

Whoa-ho-ho-ho.

Come on, the commandant down the hall

doesn't like me making noise in here.

All right?

I got to keep it quiet.

Well, hang tough, man, this is a palace.

Yeah, some mood lighting,

maybe a couple dancing girls, this place would be all right.

It's definitely a lot better than the KEG House.

That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

You met my girlfriend Sherry, right?

Yeah.

Well, she's finally starting to get amorous.

All right.

Uh, look,

I'd love to help you out, but, uh, I'm sorry,

Andrea made me promise-- no KEG scene here.

Oh, man, we've been going out for two years

and I'm finally in position to score.

Two years? You've been going out for two years

and you still haven't slept with this girl?

Muntz... are you a virgin?

And I'm always gonna be unless I get a little private time.

Come on, man, it's a noble cause.

Please.

Okay, we'll be very quiet.

(laughs)

I doubt that.

(indistinct conversations)

Boy, when they said "relaxed setting,"

they weren't kidding.

Yeah, I'm having flashbacks to my summer camp days.

Well, you must feel right at home then.

Actually, I don't understand

what it is I'm supposed to do here.

Do what you do best, dear--

wow the chancellor, charm the dean.

Hmm, that's not what I do best.

Well, looks like seminar's till 5:00

and then fun and games.

Oh, it really is summer camp.

Look, girls' and boys' cabins.

It's all right, dear,

we'll only be separated for one night.

Oh, no.

They're having a square dance.

DEAN: Brandon, Kelly.

Dean, Chancellor.

Good to see you guys.

Glad we found you.

KELLY: Likewise.

Brandon. Isn't this place beautiful?

Yeah, I'm just waiting

for someone to start singing "Kumbaya."

(laughs)

Exactly.

CHANCELLOR: This is my daughter Clare.

Clare, this is Kelly Taylor and Brandon Walsh.

Hi.

You guys are totally opposite

of what I expected.

How so?

Well, my dad said you were very cool,

so, naturally, I expected the worst.

Kelly, I asked them to put you and Clare in the same cabin.

I hope that's all right.

It's fine by me.

I think he's counting on you

to be my chaperone.

And I'll be counting on you to be hers.

(both chuckling)

LUCINDA: I warned you, it's just raw footage.

Why the parade?

It's a kind of wedding march.

See, the entire community checks out the house

that the bride and groom built together.

It's a symbol of their commitment.

So, if it doesn't pass muster,

the wedding doesn't take place.

How are they making out?

All systems go.

There's the happy couple.

Look at them.

They're beautiful.

That's all anyone really wants, is to be happy.

We drive ourselves crazy.

I think happiness is overrated.

And I think it's all we've got to go by.

Sometimes I walk around campus and I see people

and I ask myself, "Why are they smiling?"

Yeah, but then you meet someone

that's found something in life, or at least they're searching,

and you think, "I want this,

"what this person has. I want

to be fully alive."

(film scraping)

Sorry, that was a little out there.

What are you thinking about?

I'm wondering...

Have you ever had a feast prepared

in the spicy tapizca style

of the Istu Paca tribe of Guatemala?

(chuckling): No.

You're in for a real treat.

(indistinct conversations)

Hello.

I'm the new camper.

Brandon Walsh, California University.

RICHLAND: No kidding?

That's where I go.

Josh, what are you doing here?

You're not on the task force.

I'm just covering the event for the Condor.

So I was hoping we could talk.

I've got a few questions.

So I hear.

My friends tell me you've been badgering them for dirt on me.

Come on, you were a newspaperman

before you became our fearless leader.

You know, I'm just doing my job.

Right. Anyway, I'm through with your friends.

All I need now is maybe half an hour with you.

Do your worst.

Okay.

Your pal, Steve Sanders, was caught

breaking into Cory Randall's office.

What did you have on Randall to get him to drop the charges?

Is this what you've been bothering my friends with, Josh?

I didn't have anything on Randall.

I tutored

his favorite jock, so, when my best friend got

in a little trouble with a fraternity prank,

Randall cut him some slack.

It's hardly a conspiracy.

Are you friends with Randall's ex-wife?

Listen, I don't mind questions,

as long as they have something to do with me.

So you wouldn't know what or who caused her to get a divorce.

Why are you doing this?

Honestly?

'Cause I don't like you.

Yeah, well...

the feeling's mutual.

You sure you don't need some help in there?

Why? Are you getting bored?

No, I'm not getting bored.

I'm getting paranoid

with all these eyes staring at me, you know?

So this is the authentic harvest feast?

Yes and no.

To me, a feast is as much the ceremony as the food.

So, what, are you gonna sacrifice

a virgin goat or something?

We need an attitude adjustment.

Plus some candles.

As our ancestors did in remembrance

of the first harvest the earth gave up,

we give thanks to the four corners.

Earth...

water...

animals...

and the universe...

which is man.

The light of the candles is the light of the sun,

warm and generous and full of life.

Anyway, something like that.

Do you believe it?

I don't know what I believe anymore.

Earth, water, animals-- I get.

But man is still a mystery to me.

I'm glad Kelly introduced us.

You know she's my girlfriend.

I also know you wouldn't be here right now,

if you didn't want to be.

Did you hear me say I don't want to be here?

Well...

Sex doesn't get any safer

than when your girlfriend's out of town.

KELLY: Brandon, try to relax.

We're supposed to be communing with nature here.

Aw, I just never should have let

Richland get to me.

Now he'll never let up.

Well, he is the world's biggest jerk.

Yes, he is.

You know, I'll bet you he finessed our rooming setup

just in case I talk in my sleep.

So what?

It's not like you have anything to hide.

I wouldn't say that.

Oh, right. Our masquerade, I forgot.

Big deal.

It's a little more than that, Kel.

What is it?

(sighs)

Lucinda Nicholson--

your teacher-- she's my...

well, "girlfriend" isn't exactly the right word.

Oh, my God.

I had no idea.

So that's why you suddenly needed me as a decoy.

Yes.

I didn't want to drag you into this.

I hope you're not insulted.

No, I'm...

I'm surprised.

And I'm impressed.

(chuckles)

Well, nobody else would be,

so keep it to yourself. Mm.

They'd fire Lucinda

and they'd kick me off the task force.

Oh, we have company.

Everyone's favorite couple.

We were just leaving.

Oh, too bad. I was hoping I could get

a few pithy quotes from both of you.

Why don't you just make something up, Joshie.

That's what you're going to do anyway, isn't it?

No private life for a public figure, Walsh.

You better get used to it.

You want something pithy?

Pith off!

(barking)

DONNA: So, he was tortured?

Well, getting shaved is unpleasant,

but I hardly call it torture.

These are just places where they attach electrodes

for an electrocardiograph-- EKG.

Does he have a heart problem?

Well, he seems fine.

You say you found him on campus, right?

Here's your answer.

See this tattoo?

He's from the university medical lab.

So he's an escapee from an experiment?

Animals don't just escape from research facilities.

Usually, they're freed by some worker who doesn't like

what's going on in the lab, and can't risk losing their job.

They want you to find him.

But I thought you said he was fine.

Well, he seems to be,

but there's no telling what experiment he's been in.

He could be sick, or contagious.

So, how do we find out?

Well, I hate to tell you this,

but we have to notify the lab.

But that's where he ran away from.

I know. Believe me, I don't like this any better than you do.

Bren?

Look, Andrea's working at the medical lab.

Maybe she'll know what's going on.

Okay, we'll give her a call.

Andrea wouldn't let anything bad happen to Rocky.

(playing up-tempo country melody)

♪ Promenade, go round the track ♪

♪ Take a little walk and don't look back ♪

♪ On we go with a swing and a whirl ♪

♪ Round and around with a pretty little girl ♪

♪ Hey, then double-do a right or left spin ♪

♪ Turn 'em on a dime like I always do ♪

♪ Do a right or left back in the usual way ♪

♪ Turn the girl sideways ♪

♪ Double-do a right or left through ♪

♪ Turn 'em on around like we always do ♪

♪ Hi, there, on we go ♪

♪ Swing and whirl with a pretty little girl ♪

♪ Round and around, and here we go ♪

♪ Side couple do a right or left swing turn ♪

♪ Come on around like I always do ♪

♪ Hey, stepper, step across

♪ And swing the gal sideways ♪

♪ Couples do a right or left through... ♪

Thank God, I'm not the one

who has to dance with Richland.

No, but you have

to dance with somebody who's gonna ask you

a lot more questions about yourself.

She's in high school.

Yeah.

So, you're in high school.

Yeah, only four months left, thank God.

Oh! I don't suppose we could call a truce?

Who said there was a war?

He's still out for blood,

and he's a bad square dancer.

Well, Clare's a pretty good dancer,

but I think she tried to grope me.

(caller pattering)

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, wait.

I think he called for a grand left.

I've always had a problem with authority.

Uh-huh. Are you sure you're only in high school?

Hey... Wait, wait, wait.

Oh, God, I'm sorry, excuse me.

A younger woman, Brandon?

Lucinda would be jealous.

Lucinda doesn't get jealous.

Oh, right.

I guess she's never had a reason to.

Who could compete?

Wow, you know, I just figured out

how this weekend promotes higher education.

Want to see something strange?

Yeah, it's gonna be hard to be intimidated

by those guys ever again.

What's even stranger is seeing you dance.

Hey, this is not dancing.

This is following instructions,

just like making a box of macaroni and cheese.

You know, the last time I really danced

was with you, almost two years ago,

at the Spring Dance.

Ew.

Was I that bad?

You know what I'm thinking of?

When I made a move on you.

I thought I made a move on you.

No, no, no. I made a move on you.

What you did was tell me

that we could never be a couple

because I was like a sister to you.

Ooh.

It's got to be the most awful thing

any guy has ever said to me.

Okay, I apologize.

(chuckles)

It's too late.

But you did do one thing good that night.

You told me that if we were perfect strangers,

you would be in love with me.

I did say that, didn't I?

CALLER: The Virginia Reel-- here we go.

Tell me something.

Do you remember everything everyone ever says to you?

Not everyone.

CALLER: Right-hand style

And a left-hand style...

Come on, this one's fun.

♪ Do a no-sign and reel... all the way around ♪

♪ Right-hands up... ♪

KELLY: Oh, this way!

♪ Right-arm turn, all the way around ♪

♪ Come back to the side to the left-arm turn... ♪

Hey.

(gasps)

(stammering): Andrea?

Who's Andrea?!

(pronouncing): Ahn-drea.

Who-Who are you?

She's pregnant.

ANDREA: No kidding.

KATHY: Andrea? Are you all right?

I-I'm a friend of Steve's.

Uh...

Hi, Kathy. I'm fine.

KATHY: You'll let me know if you need anything?

ANDREA: Absolutely.

Thank you.

Help her.

ANDREA: Don't you dare.

I'll be, I'll be outside, waiting.

Steve... Steve!

Look, Andrea, before you say anything--

Muntz was the one who stood up for me when John Sears

was trying to get me kicked out of the KEG House,

and I owed him one.

Steve, I'm touched.

But I can't deal with you anymore.

Andrea, I'll be homeless.

Better than both of us.

I want you out by tomorrow morning.

By tomorrow morning.

So, tell me, how did you and Lucinda get together?

Very normally, actually,

and then I found out she was married.

Oh... So much for serial monogamy.

What's that?

One of her many theories.

Ah.

I cannot believe that you of all people

are sleeping with a married woman.

I wasn't.

Things got intense after she got divorced.

Intense is good.

Intense is romantic.

It was romantic.

But, after a while, it...

just kind of feels like sneaking around.

So I guess our little deceit is

the last thing you need right now?

To tell you the truth, for the last few hours,

I've been thinking how much nicer it is

to be square-dancing with you

than to be hiding out with Lucinda.

If that's a line, then you know how to pick 'em.

It's not a line.

Could you just tell me that I'm like a sister again?

'Cause that would make things a lot easier.

You know, we have two people at home

who trust us.

I know.

I think I better walk myself

the rest of the way.

Yeah.

(entrance bell jingles)

A megaburger, please.

I'll get you a waitress.

Nadine.

I came here to talk to you.

At your service.

You know what?

I'll handle this myself. Okay.

I was hoping for a friendlier reception.

Yeah? Call the Welcome Wagon.

What is wrong with you?

Why'd you leave so suddenly yesterday?

I shouldn't have been there in the first place.

Well, I thought we were getting along pretty well

until you jumped up and ran out.

I just don't get it.

It's not that complicated, is it?

You sleep with me, I finance your film.

Is that what you think's going on here?

I wasn't trying to sleep with you

to get you to finance my film.

Dylan, it's a man-woman thing, see?

I mean, I'm honestly attracted to you.

Well, I don't doubt that.

See, when you have millions of dollars, suddenly

you look good to a lot of people.

Is that how you think people see you?

In this case?

Absolutely.

Well, that's really sad.

Because you're so wrong.

(bedsprings squeaking in distance)

(banging)

STEVE: Beat it!

Wait a second. Wait a second.

Andrea. (hushed): Steve, you are supposed to be gone.

Could you come back later? No.

I'm going to throw you out before Kathy Fisher does.

Andrea, this isn't a good time! Steve, you lie,

you apologize, you lie, you apologize.

Steve, I'm not going to lose my room over this!

Kathy.

Andrea...

I was just, uh...

Yeah, I, uh...

...think I got the picture.

I was going to get my nose pierced.

And I thought,

you know, how all these people that look cool now,

are gonna end up middle-aged,

regular jobs and kids

and holes in their noses.

Oh, look, here they come.

Your boyfriend is so cool.

I'll tell him you think so.

So what's he like in bed?

Excuse me?

Well, we're off.

Task force meetings are gonna seem

a little tame after this.

It will be nice to get back to normal.

Yes, it will.

Clare, it was a pleasure.

Well, it was nice to meet both of you.

Kelly, you were a model roommate.

And Brandon...

A bientôt.

A demain.

CHANCELLOR: We lived in France three years.

She picked up the kissing thing.

Well, we can just shake hands, Chancellor.

Brandon, we'll see you two back in town.

Bye. Bye.

Brandon, I can't play this dating game anymore.

I was afraid you were gonna say that.

I think maybe last night

might have been my fault.

In a way, I guess I've always wanted it to happen.

Yeah, me, too.

I mean, I'm glad about it,

but it can't happen again.

Well, maybe, if you just made yourself

a little less irresistible next time.

You always know just what to say.

Come on.

I'm starting to get a really bad feeling about this.

Look, calm down.

Andrea said she'll take really good care of him.

I know, but it still gives me the creeps.

All right! A couple of dog lovers.

Can we get you to sign? Hey! (barks)

Um, sign what?

This petition. It's for animal rights.

Oh, my God.

That's what we're trying to stop.

They call it research, right?

But what they're doing is burning animals,

electrocuting them, microwaving them,

blinding them... I don't want to hear this.

No, I know... Nobody does.

But that's what's being done in the name of science.

That's right-- but mostly, all it does

is confirm what we already know.

I mean, why force cigarette smoke

into more dogs' lungs just to show,

yet again, that smoking

is bad for you?

I read about this.

Don't they cut holes in dogs' throats or something?

Yeah, that's right. Once people know the facts,

they want it stopped.

I'm Allan.

Hi. This is Jonathan and Janet.

Hi. Hi, I'm Brenda.

This is Donna and Rocky. Hi.

Hi. Listen, there's a vote next week

by the board of regents to forbid

animal testing on this campus,

so, would you please sign this petition?

Sure. Yeah.

Hi, you guys.

ANDREA: Hi, Rocky, how you doing?

I don't suppose you'd sign our petition?

You're right. I wouldn't.

Shall we?

Come on.

Wait-wait-wait, wait, wait!

JANET: Stop, you can't

do this!

You're taking him in?

We have to. He escaped from the lab.

They'll destroy him.

Look, I know you guys have the right to stand here

and spread your lies, all right...

It's not a lie. Yes, it is.

Do you know what we do?

Research to save lives.

You research unnecessarily.

Look, you guys, we have already gone through this.

You know why it's important for us to return him.

You know maybe this isn't such a good idea.

Bren...

Don't do it.

Bye, Rachmaninoff.

Donna, who are you going to believe?

Bye-bye, Rocky.

Andrea's gonna take care of you now, okay?

Come on, Rocky.

Come on.

Good boy.

BRENDA: I mean, it's not like animal rights

is a new thing.

I mean, listen to this.

"Leonardo da Vinci,

"Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin,

William Wordsworth..."

Hey, wait a minute, we talked about Wordsworth

in poetry class; you said he was deranged.

Come on.

Animals deserve to have someone speak up for them.

KELLY: What about that gorilla lady

who was teaching them to speak up for themselves?

Guys, I'm going to personally go

and buy you a new dog, just so I don't have

to listen to this anymore.

(doorbell rings)

Sorry. I guess we have been kind of going on.

Yeah. Yeah.

(door opens)

DONNA: Rocky!

(Rocky barks)

What are you doing here?

I missed you so much.

Hey, pup, I thought I'd never see you again.

Hey, looks like you've got to be

a dog to get any attention around here.

Oh, hi, Jesse. Hey, Brenda.

Oh, you guys, how can you turn your back

on a face like this?

It kind of makes you want to grow fur, doesn't it?

No.

BRENDA: So Andrea, what happened?

Well, they said since he got outside of the control group,

he was worthless to them, clinically speaking that is, so,

if you want him, he's yours.

(David playing Rachmaninoff music)

I'd say they do. (Rocky barks)

JESSE: So Brandon, I understand

you had a wild weekend.

Excuse me?

75 policy wonks at a hoedown?

JESSE: Whoo-ha! BRANDON: Ah, the retreat.

Yes, Kelly and I went

and we're kind of a big item now.

Isn't that right, Kel?

Yeah, Bran, thanks

for the, uh, return of my girlfriend.

Thanks for the loan, brother.

Ah, what are friends for? You know, Brandon and I

told you about our weekend in paradise.

Mm-hmm. What about you?

Did Lucinda hit the jackpot?

Not exactly.

Looks like I'm going to have to do a little persuading.

(Rachmaninoff music continues)

Well, I'm out of here, guys.

Where are you sneaking off to?

This is not sneaking, Brenda.

This is commonly referred to as walking.

See ya, Brandon.

See you, guys. Good to see you.

Take care. Adios.

(door opens and closes)

(knocking on door)

Did you miss me?

You first.

I thought about you all weekend long.