Original subtitles

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ To live without your love ♪

You guys, let's just start without her.

No!

If this is going to be our official sorority meeting,

then we're gonna do it right.

Here we go.

One for you and one for you and one for you.

And one for me.

Sorry I'm late.

New dress?

Oh, this old thing?

Well, it's not too incredible or anything.

It was on sale at Maxwell's.

And the best part is that I bought it with my very first paycheck.

Oh, working girl.

Yeah, well, I hope he likes it.

He?

What, you mean she hasn't told you about Stuart yet?

You're going out with a guy named Stuart?

I know,

but you're gonna love him.

He's very sweet.

How did you meet him?

Actually, my father set us up.

Hold on.

We will get the dirt on this and all other major matters

right after the meeting.

Well, how long does a sorority meeting last?

Well, at the Alpha House,

the secretary reads the minutes.

Then there's old business, new business,

then we adjourn the meeting

and we see who got pinned or who lost their virginity.

Well, then I hereby move

for this meeting to be adjourned.

BOTH: I second it.

Then it's unanimous. Meeting adjourned.

So did anyone get pinned or lose their virginity

over this weekend?

Well, now, Kelly, I lost my virginity a couple years ago.

Well, I was just wondering if you and Stuart

had taken a ride on the roller-coaster yet?

No, but we're going dancing again tonight,

so, uh, check back with me tomorrow.

Andrea, let's face it,

we're the last of the dying breed.

Well, from what I hear from Brandon,

Andrea and her Dorm Advisor are getting pretty chummy.

Dan's a nice guy.

BRENDA: Is that it?

For now.

Get back to me at the end of the semester.

Well, my love life is a mess as usual.

I thought you liked John Sears?

I do.

The timing just couldn't be worse.

I mean, the night I break up with Dylan, he gets carjacked.

Poor Dylan.

Well, at least he wasn't hurt.

Well, I think he's feeling a lot better today.

Why? Did you talk to him?

No, but Brandon did, and I think they found his car.

♪ ♪

(bell rings)

(buzzer sounds)

You think you'll recognize it, man?

You only had the car a day.

Come on, Brandon,

how many 911s you figure they got in this lot?

I don't know ten, 12. It is L.A. after all.

What, you think it's right here

under this sheet?

Damn it!

Just be thankful this isn't your car.

It's a ugly car, man, I'll tell you what.

It's like a nightmare and it's getting worse.

Look, there's a cop over by that shed.

He probably knows something. Right.

Excuse me, officer,

listen, I got a call that said you found my car.

From who? I don't know.

Some guy called and said you recovered my Porsche.

No Porsches came in this week.

Are you sure, man?

Because the guy called me up

and gave me the specific serial number off the engine.

He said the car was right here.

Let me see your registration.

Could it be in another impound yard, maybe?

Seems there was a little mistake, boys.

The car we recovered was a Honda Civic.

Whoa, wait. You're telling me

that I came down here to this hellhole for nothing?

You don't even have my car?

Sorry, there was a screw-up.

A screw-up?

From the police department, I'm shocked.

Hey... Hey, I'm talking to you!

Listen, he, uh, he got carjacked a couple nights ago.

He's just not himself.

Yeah? Well, you tell your buddy to cool it

before he gets into some real trouble.

Yeah, I'll do my best. Thanks.

♪ ♪

What is so funny?

Nothing. Everything.

I don't know.

Normally, I'm a real sourpuss,

but when I'm with you, I get giddy.

Well, I have that effect on depressive types.

Oh, okay.

Thank you, Mr. Carson.

You know, you can call me Stuart,

unless you still hate my name.

No, I'm getting used to it,

but what if I call you "Stewie"?

The last person who called me that was my mother.

Ooh, scratch that.

What about "Stu"?

As in beef stew?

Well, it's meaty, it's hearty, it sticks to your ribs.

Oh, that's not working for you either, is it?

My father used to call me "Stu."

But then he developed some other nicknames.

Like what?

When I dropped out of college, he called me "The Bum."

When I was trying to promote rock concerts

he called me "The Hippie."

When I tried to get into

commercial real estate, he called me "The Fool."

I don't think you want to know what he started calling me

when I tried to buy into some racehorses. Oh, man.

I've never seen that side of your father.

Well, his true personality only comes out

when he's lecturing me.

How 'bout if I just call you "Stuart"?

That's good.

Now could you whisper that in my ear?

No.

(chuckles)

DAVID (on radio): Hey, you night crawlers, it's 2:00 A.M.

and time for The David Silver Show.

Here's... David.

Andrea...

Andrea, it's getting late.

Mm... I was having the most amazing dream.

Was there yogurt involved?

(both laugh)

No, we were flying.

It was great.

Only now, I don't have the strength

to put my clothes on.

So stay.

No, I can't.

Stay...

I can't, I can't. (laughs)

I stayed last night

and I almost missed my first class.

You are not the most dependable alarm clock.

Oh, I wish it didn't have to be this way.

Today I was with my friends

and they kept talking about their boyfriends.

I couldn't even say a word.

Andrea, we both agreed it's for the best we don't go public.

Yeah, but it's not fair.

I mean, it's not like you're my teacher anymore.

I looked at the college

guidelines on Resident Advisors.

They do not have a non-fraternization rule.

No, not specifically,

but how it's interpreted is a whole other matter.

What's the worst thing that could happen

if they find out about us?

Oh, I don't know, and I don't want to know.

Do you?

Sleep well.

(frustrated groan)

Thanks.

Mm. Bye.

Invite me in?

What?

Invite... me... in.

Yeah, right, my parents are probably inside waiting

with the lights turned down.

Good.

If they're up, I'll just explain

why I can't bear to live without you.

Stuart, I think we better call it a night.

Easy for you, I'm not letting you go.

What are you doing? You cannot come in!

Fine, then it's settled. You're coming back to my place.

No, Stuart!

Shh, you'll wake your parents.

Put me down.

Your wish is my command.

So...

did I sweep you off your feet?

(sighs): Look, this is so good,

I don't think that we should rock the boat.

I don't want to rock the boat.

I want to sink the boat.

Go!

(groans)

Brenda, we have to talk.

Uh... um, look, I know I'm late.

We just lost track of time,

and I'm really sorry.

Uh, well, that's a start.

We have to lay down some very clear rules, young lady.

I don't get it. What's the problem?

I mean, I'm working. I'm going to school.

You guys just go on with your lives

and I promise, I'll be fine.

Brenda, this is the third time this week

you've come in at 3:00 A.M.

Well, look at it this way.

Consider yourselves lucky I came home at all.

Night.

Well, things are back to normal at the old Walsh household.

Mom's talking to herself.

Dad's coming to me for advice,

and you're back in the old doghouse.

No, I'm one foot out the door.

So what's really going on with you and Stuart?

What do you think's going on?

Oh, I don't know.

He's rich, he's good-looking...

he's rich.

There's gotta be a catch.

You know, you're worse than Mom and Dad.

Are you saying this guy's all together?

Brandon, let me put it to you this way.

There's never been anyone in my life, including Dylan McKay,

who knows how to...

How to what?

I'm trying to find the right word.

How to woo.

Stuart gives good woo?

Ooh, the best.

Well, in that case,

does he have a twin sister who's as rich as he is?

And, look, if you've done the reading, you don't

have to worry, you will not fall below the Mendoza line

for a grade of C.

Yeah?

Um, the Mendoza line?

Was that in the chapters?

Mendoza line? No.

That's not in your reading, will not be on the test.

So if there's nothing else, uh, look, life is short, study hard.

Class dismissed.

Well, it looks like I'm gonna be in all night

studying my notes. You want to come over?

I don't think so, I'm not gonna sweat this one.

Steve, you're going to brick this test.

You're going to find yourself below his Mendoza line,

whatever that is. Uh, I don't think so.

You see, the KEG house has this one-hour super cram,

guaranteed to bring you up to speed on any exam.

One hour?

Yeah, hey, man, I can let you in

on some of these frat secrets if you'd like.

I think I'll stay away from your shortcuts,

Mr. Legacy Key.

Mr. Begging Mrs. Teasley to graduate.

Is this why you took down

Professor Randall's office hours?

Maybe you're planning on sucking up a little bit, huh?

No, I'm not planning on sucking up a little bit.

I just don't want to be another face in the crowd.

There's nothing wrong with personalizing

the student-teacher relationship.

I read that somewhere. I think it was Dante.

So in other words, you are sucking up?

Gimme a break, will ya?

Between Brenda's undeclared war on my parents

and Dylan's psychosis, I don't know what's going on.

It' gotta be rough getting your car jacked. It's not only that.

Kelly tells him that she wants to start dating other people

like an hour before this kid sticks a gun in his face, you know.

Don't tell anyone though, it's top secret.

It's no secret at the KEG house.

Everyone knows John Sears is going out with her.

DYLAN: So you figure if the insurance company's willing to settle,

then there's not much chance of ever finding it, am I right?

The claims officer said that if a stolen vehicle

is not recovered in the first 48 hours,

it's already at a chop shop, or halfway down to Guadalajara.

I hate to admit it, but you were right, Jim.

I shouldn't have bought that car in the first place.

Well, you're covered for a rental vehicle

until you want to buy a new one.

Any idea what you might want?

Oh, I don't know, I was thinking maybe a tank,

urban assault vehicle, that kind of thing.

Glad to see you still have a sense of humor.

Is that what this is?

You know,

in a situation like that,

there's really nothing you could have done.

Well, I don't know, Jim.

I mean, I could've jammed through the light.

You know, I could've honked my horn,

I could've backed up and knocked the guy over

and I didn't do any of those things, man, I froze.

I thought maybe the kid was lost.

You know, then he whips out this gun.

He's got the barrel right in my face

and I'm looking down that little hole.

I saw my whole life in that hole,

but he didn't care.

He was ready to kill me

and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

You know, it might not be such a bad idea

to get counseling.

It really helped Brenda.

Actually, I, uh...

I got something else in mind.

(gunfire)

Hey, you're good.

Dodge City, you better be.

Mom, I told you, you cannot park in the apartment manager's spot.

He told me it was okay.

Oh. Hi, Jackie.

Hi, Donna.

You're doing David's laundry again?

Why not?

It's the highlight of my social life.

Oh, and I ordered pizza for you guys.

One vegetarian and one with pepperoni.

Well, thank you.

Wow, your mom is so great.

Yeah, you don't have to listen to her constant complaining

about how miserably lonely she is

and how I never come to visit,

and how awful it is sharing Erin with Mel.

It's enough to drive me crazy.

Look who's here.

Hi, bubbelah.

Oh, Erin,

you are so precious.

Well, we're just one big happy family.

One big, happy dysfunctional family.

Don't listen to her.

She's a psych major.

RANDALL: Oh, I understand,

but I'd rather cut myself shaving

than watch the Clippers lose from the nosebleed section.

But, no, I appreciate you thinking of me, thanks.

All right, bye-bye.

How you doing?

Cory Randall. You are...?

Brandon Walsh. I'm in your class.

Nosebleed section. Seat 125.

Great, great, thanks for coming by.

I wish more of my students would come by

and introduce themselves. Why don't you have a seat?

Thanks.

So I take it you're into sports, huh?

Yeah, why not?

By studying them, I get a lot of free tickets.

I know what you mean.

I was the sports editor on my high school newspaper.

Well, good, so you probably know the origins of the Mendoza line.

Actually, I ran a check on my computer last night

and came up empty.

Try the sports page.

So, what, you a little uptight about this test?

No, not really.

But if you want to show me an advance copy,

I wouldn't complain.

Brandon, you read chapter two, right?

Sure.

You're already in the Hall of Fame.

Hi, there.

Hi.

In the market for a used Stairmaster?

Only if it steps two.

I really enjoyed last night.

So I noticed.

Look, at this.

We could buy an almost-new

king-size waterbed.

I don't think we should consider buying common property

when we can't even hold hands in public.

Andrea.

Dan, you better turn away from me, someone might be

watching us. You're not being fair.

I'm not?

Excuse me, what about you?

Every time I think about us,

I don't understand it.

Why, why is it we have to hide behind closed doors?

I mean, are you so ashamed

for your friends to find out

that you're going out with a freshman?

Of course not.

Well, why is it all we can do

is do it in your room?

Look, it's just...

you know... people talk.

Look, we can't go on this way.

What are we going to do?

Brando, I think I actually aced my first college exam.

Steve, what's the matter with you?

I just asked you about social structure,

which is what the whole last section of the test was on,

you haven't told me what your answers were.

I wrote GAIL.

You wrote Gail? Who's Gail?

Goals, Adaptation, Integration and Laws.

Very good, Steve. I'm impressed.

Hey, Dr. Hangenberry.

That's what you get when you take the KEG super cram.

(clears throat): Hey, Silver.

What's going on?

Moby Dick. 822 pages.

If I get halfway through it by tomorrow,

I may not get bounced. You're gonna get bounced.

Don't worry, pal, just take a load off.

The whale did it.

The whale did it. Thanks.

Hey, guys. Hi, John.

Hi. Hey, Steve.

So Charlie Dixon goes to Leslie Summer

and says, "Listen, with your blessing

"we'd like this year's KEG-Alpha homecoming float

to reflect something a little more relevant."

So, what are we doing?

A tribute to Velcro and other household fasteners.

(giggles)

That's good, who thought of that?

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Ah, you're a funny guy.

I'm trying.

So, when do I graduate from phone date

to the real thing?

Maybe after midterms,

if you're nice.

If I'm...? I'm nice.

I thought you broke up with McKay.

I did, but right now, I need to talk to him.

Kelly...

I'm not just doing doughnuts here, am I?

You know, spinning my wheels, chasing my vestigial tail.

You're a funny guy.

Hi.

How you doing?

I'm doing.

Well, it's good to see you back on campus.

And why is it good to see me back on campus?

Don't do this, Dylan.

I still want to be part of your life.

Kel, what do you want to go and do something like that for?

My life sucks and you know it. Dylan...

What do you want me to say, huh?

None of this has been easy on me,

I'll tell you that.

But I'm not gonna get myself in another situation

where some little punk with a big gun can do a number on me.

CAROL: I'm about to pop a pie

in the microwave, if you want to hang around.

Uh, no, thanks, I'll troll for it later.

I got to hit the books.

What about you, Brenda?

Um, I did my studies this afternoon.

No, I think she meant

do you want a piece of pie?

Oh, um, no, I can't. I have to go.

Stuart's waiting for me.

Guys, I promised that I would meet him for coffee.

We won't be late.

Be firm, but gentle, Dad.

I think they like each other.

I'm getting that impression.

I mean, what is the crime here?

You set us up.

What, do you want us to hate each other?

No, that's not the point.

But this whole thing with Stuart's going way too fast.

CINDY: Honey, just give yourselves time to come up for air.

I mean, you've got other things going on in your life.

I'm keeping up with everything.

JIM: What about him?

Larry Carson's a pretty demanding boss.

I can't imagine he's too happy

about his son gallivanting around every night.

(phone ringing)

(groans)

Hello.

Uh, yes, he's right here.

Oh!

Thank you.

Well, that sounds wonderful.

It's, uh, Larry Carson.

He's inviting us

to his place in Bel Air for brunch on Saturday?

Is he really?

CINDY: He, uh,

called it a triple date.

(sighs)

I rest my case.

Okay, folks read 'em and weep.

Nice work.

For those of you who did well, have a nice weekend.

For those of you who did not, shame on you.

Bro, I got a "B"!

I told you, you should have joined a fraternity, man.

I will follow my brothers through the gates of hell.

I love college.

How'd you do?

I got an "A" plus.

Ah, so you did.

What's this? A note from Professor Randall?

"Could you meet me tomorrow at 1:30?"

A Saturday meeting?

How cozy.

Well it's obvious you've become the teacher's pet.

How about the Santa Monica Promenade?

There must be at least a dozen films there.

No, half the students from our dorm will be out there cruising.

Hey, what about the Nuart Theater?

They're showing a D.H. Lawrence double feature film there.

Hmm.

No, you're right.

You don't want to go see that.

I didn't say that.

No, but you were thinking that it's just the kind of movie

people from your department would want to go and see.

Look-- I came here because I wanted to ask you out

on a real date in front of real people.

But you've got to decide what we're doing.

I just need...

I just need time to think about this.

I mean, it's not easy going public.

Every place feels so risky.

See? So it's not just me.

We could always-- do your room?

Did anybody see you come in here?

No.

(door locking)

How are you at Scrabble?

You want another bite?

No. No?

You don't want another bite?

I think she's had enough.

Well, I just like to make sure she's well fed,

because who knows what goes into her mouth after Mel takes her.

Well, I'll clean her up 'cause Mel should be here any time. Thanks, honey.

I want her ready and me long gone before he gets here.

Dylan's on his way over, too.

You're kidding? You guys are back on?

Well, I said to him, "I still want to be part of your life,"

and today he called me up and he asked me to go out on a date,

to the gun range.

Oh, how romantic.

What was I supposed to say?

"According to chapter four of my pysch book,

you're going through posttraumatic stress syndrome"?

Well, you just be careful there.

I will. I'm just going to keep him company.

(doorbell ringing) That must be him.

DAVID: I'll get it.

MEL: Hi, Dave.

Donna, you look great. Thanks, Mel.

DAVID: Hey, Dad. Hi Nina.

Who's Nina?

You been working out or something?

You look big, nice and buff.

Well, it's Nina's doing. She's a fitness fanatic.

Where's my little darling?

I assume you don't mean me?

I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd still be here.

Nina, this is Jackie, Erin's mother.

And don't you forget it.

Jackie, you're just making this worse than it is.

Oh I am, huh? Well, tough.

Have a nice weekend.

You certainly started mine out right.

(door slamming)

Your mother just won't let us get on with our lives.

Can you blame her?

How could you bring your girlfriend here, Mel?

I can't win.

Kelly, they were going to meet sooner or later.

You are just as bad as your father, aren't you?

Well, you're just as neurotic as your mother.

Excuse me, can I say something here?

No. No.

Fine.

All right, your turn.

Sorry, you know, I'm for gun control.

Yeah, well, if you wanna control your gun, use both hands.

Come on, you'd be a fool not to learn this.

Dylan, don't call me that.

Kelly, there are two million handguns in Los Angeles alone.

How soon before one of them's pointed at you?

Now come on, do one clip. It won't kill you.

There you go. Get it like that.

Square yourself up to the target like I did.

Now just aim and squeeze the trigger.

It's going to be loud, isn't it?

Yeah, but just expect it.

The first one's always the worst.

Where do I aim?

At the target.

Go for the center.

I can't do this.

Hey, what do you want? You want to be a statistic?

You want to be a victim?

I mean, Kelly, the writing is spray painted on the wall.

You got about as much chance taking a bullet as being in a car accident.

Or am I not supposed to worry about that, huh?

It's not my problem, I should let other people worry about you?

I'm worried about you. Don't be.

I'm getting pretty good at this.

What's the matter with you?

I'm just scared.

I'm scared.

That's why I'm learning to protect myself.

Can't we just get out of here, please?

Haven't you been listening to anything I've said tonight.

Kelly, what do you want me to say?

It is a violent world out there and nobody's safe.

I didn't make the rules, but no one's safe.

Not you, not me, nobody.

Thank you.

Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Walsh.

The Carsons are by the pool.

If you'll just follow the path through the garden.

Thank you.

Hey, where have you guys been?

We've been waiting for you.

We thought you lost track of the time.

We late? No, you're not late.

You're as punctual as ever.

Brenda, stop giving your father a hard time.

How you doing, Jim?

Terrific, Larry.

Your house is... overwhelming.

Well, thank you.

We like it.

You must be Cindy.

Hi. Very nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.

And this is my wife Vivian.

Hello, Vivian.

Oh, are these for me?

They're beautiful.

Your gardens are beautiful.

I have never seen so many Oceana roses.

We are going to get along fabulously.

Stuart.

Stuart, get your rude self

out of the pool right now and come and say hi to the Walshes.

Well, at least he didn't call me Stu, huh?

Hey, relax. It's only my parents.

Hi. How you doing?

Hi.

Just let me dry off.

This is going to be a long afternoon.

It sure is.

Mom, you don't have to apologize.

I'm just so ashamed.

Walking out like I did--

I didn't even say good-bye to Erin.

I miss her so much. Well, you'll see her Sunday night.

I hate the weekends.

Mom, it's going to be all right, okay?

Andrea. Hey, gents.

Uh, Kelly's looking for you.

We know, that's why we're here.

What's been going on with you?

We haven't seen you around lately.

I've been involved.

Involved? Involved is good.

Involved is good.

ANDREA: Yeah, involved is good.

But I feel like I'm trying

to get into an ice cold pool step by step.

I know I'm going to love it,

it's just the getting there that's agony.

Well, call me a guy, but, in situations like this,

I usually opt for the ol' cannonball.

The flying cannonball.

Into the deep end, preferably naked.

Naked is good.

I'll take that into consideration. Thank you.

Just remember, naked is good. Naked is good.

Hey, guys. Hey, Kel what's going on?

Thanks for coming.

No problem. What's up?

Dylan.

He's acting very scary.

I'm sure he's going to be fine, Kel.

Not if he's spending all of his time

at a target range shooting guns.

Is that what he's doing?

Wow.

KELLY: Believe me, Steve, it's not wow.

It's like ever since the car jacking, he's gone gun crazy.

I wouldn't be surprised if he's already gone out and bought one.

BRANDON: Listen, Kel, I grew up hunting.

Owning a gun is not the worst thing a guy can do.

Besides, it's just a fact of life,

ever since the riots, people in L.A.

have been arming themselves.

Yeah. I get it. Because this is the Wild West.

And it's the good guys and the bad guys

killing each other every day, right?

I wouldn't go that far.

Well, maybe Dylan would.

You guys, he's acting like he's Rambo or something.

Well, when he shaves his head and starts talking

to himself in the mirror, then we'll worry.

Brandon, you've seen him. He is not in a good way.

I'll admit it. He's had some bad moments.

Bad moments?

I haven't seen him this angry-- including when his father died.

I mean, I'm just afraid

that he's gonna hurt himself or somebody else.

All right, assuming you're right,

what do you want us to do about it?

Just go over there, talk to him,

see for yourself, 'cause he sure will not listen to me.

All right. I've got to go up to campus

and talk to this professor,

but we'll get with him today, okay?

Yeah.

Thanks.

He's our friend, too.

Here you are, sir.

Am I the only one having seconds around here?

That would be thirds, Dad.

Jim, I hate to talk business, but since I have you here,

I hope you don't mind taking a look

at the preliminary numbers on this Plano project.

Well, I think this is my cue to exit.

Hey, Stuart, this mall project involves you, too.

During the week, it does.

But right now, if you don't mind,

I think the kids would like to be excused.

Brenda, will you tell him that, with his attitude,

he's never going to amount to much.

Stuart, with your attitude, you're...

What was that again, Larry?

Go on, get out of here.

Oh, they are so cute together.

Hey, thanks for coming down. You bet.

Listen, believe me, I would not have

brought you down here on a Saturday if it wasn't

a major front burner issue.

Not a problem. What's going on?

Well, it's about one of your classmates.

His name is D'Shawn Hardell.

Although really, he just likes

the letter "D" on his jersey.

Right, right, I read about this kid--

hot prospect from Texas just transferred here from some JC.

Yeah, unfortunately his academic game isn't what it should be.

To say that this guy needs a little coaching

would be an extreme understatement.

So, you want me to tutor him?

Well, I'm interviewing

five students for the job.

Look, from your test, obviously you've got a firm grasp

of the fundamentals and I know you're a fellow sports pig,

so that makes you a candidate for the job.

Cool.

Now, I should tell you something.

D'Shawn's not dumb.

He's got it in him to be a fine student.

He's just not motivated. So it could be a struggle.

I'm game.

And there's gonna be a little pressure, too.

If he's gonna be eligible to walk on the court,

he's gotta get at east a "C" in my class.

Ah-- The Mendoza Line.

That's right.

Named after Mario Mendoza, a bad bat, good glove infielder

whose lifetime batting average was .200.

A statistical measure for major league competence.

If you don't mind,

I'll just cancel the other interviews.

You mean, I got the job?

Slam dunk.

All right, thanks.

STUART: Okay...

BRENDA: Great shot.

Pinball's one of the few things

I'm really good at.

At least according to my father.

Well, it must be very hard

to try and live up to his expectations.

Oh, I gave that up a long time ago.

I just let my dad write me off as the idiot child.

Well, that's his loss.

But I must be maturing because, for the first time,

I'm really enjoying being back in the family fold.

I think you helped.

A lot.

Well, like I said-- I have that effect on depressive types.

Hold on, hold on.

My parents are just outside.

Oh, so now the shoe's on the other foot?

Well, I don't care. Let them find out.

I love...

♪ Yo, gimme something to dance to ♪

♪ Dance, boy... ♪

♪ Give me a big beat! ♪

MAN: Hey, is this where the party's at?

Hey, either one of you guys

D'Shawn Hardell?

Who's asking? Brandon Walsh.

Professor Randall told me

I could meet him here.

Oh. Yeah, man.

You're my tutor. That's me.

Sweet.

How much they paying you?

Not as much as they're paying you.

That's cold.

And I coulda had a lot better deal

at Arizona State, you understand?

But it was a numbers thing

and I was man out.

So now...

I'm a Condor.

Hey, right on the glass.

Yeah.

Hardell.

Hey, call me D'Shawn, cuz.

D'Shawn, we gotta hit the books, man.

Randall wants us to jump right in

and get ready for Monday's class.

Don't hold the ball. Shoot it.

MAN: You tell him, bro.

Come on, man, we got studying to do.

Go on down.

Only if you can make that shot.

MAN 1: Right.

MAN 2: Uh-oh.

Brandon is hard.

Let's go. Two on two.

I'll take my tutor. Think fast.

KELLY: Donna, did Dylan call for me?

Oh, great. Kelly's home.

DONNA: No. Only John Sears.

Look, she's going to notice Erin,

so, just be up front and lose the attitude.

(seagulls cawing)

(clears throat)

Come on.

Oh! Heave-ho.

(sighs)

Hi, Kelly.

Say hi to Kelly, Erin.

You're baby-sitting?

Well, it's just for the afternoon.

Oh, this is incredible.

Mel strikes again, huh?

He dumped her on you?

Look, just yell all you want and get it over with, okay?

(shouting): Yeah, I will, because I think your father is really sick.

Yeah, well, your mom's a space case half the time.

At least she's trying, David!

Yeah, well, so is he!

You guys, please!

(sighs)

She started it.

Oh, yeah, I started it.

No. Neither of you started it.

This is your parents' war, not yours.

She's right.

(sighs)

Yeah.

I think that for Erin's sake,

we need to both remember

not to fight our parents' battles.

All right.

That's better.

(laughs)

(loud, overlapping chatter)

Hi.

Hi.

Your note said to meet you in the Union for a date,

so, here I am.

Good boy.

Where we going? Oxnard?

No, right here.

Well...

not quite here.

Would you say that this is the, um,

exact center of the room?

Uh...

it appears to be, yes.

What kind of date is this?

Just say it is my version

of the flying cannonball.

(laughter and chatter)

(applause)

WOMAN: Yay!

JIM: I just don't think we're going to be able

to defer the whole thing, Larry.

I'm going to have to run those numbers again.

Uh-huh.

Ah. Larry, are you still hounding this poor man?

(laughs)

They're ready to leave, and we're going out tonight.

Okay, the boss has spoken.

Now we just have to find Brenda.

Well, I understand

that she and Stuart are going out tonight, too.

Again?

Listen, I got to tell you,

I think that Brenda is the best thing

that ever happened to my son.

She is. She really is.

But every night?

(laughs) Don't you think

they're burning the candle a bit at both ends?

VIVIAN: Are you kidding?

I wish I had all that energy.

(laughs): Listen, you sit.

I'll go find the kids.

Thanks.

Would you like some coffee?

Coffee, please.

(water running, knocking)

LARRY: Stuart?

Stuart?

(knocking)

Hey, where's Brenda?

The Walshes are leaving.

Well, she's taking a shower, Dad.

(water stops running)

Dad, I am over 21.

But she's not.

Hey, show a little respect.

Now get yourselves discreetly downstairs,

and you can take her home.

Why? We're going out. Not tonight.

Her parents want her to stay in.

Dad, I have tickets.

Hey, you guys have the rest

of your lives to be together.

Stuart?

Mr. Carson.

Um... hello, honey.

Oh, my God.

Stuart, next time, get her to use the pool house.

I don't think her father

is as tolerant as I am, huh?

(tires squealing)

Fellas! What's happening?

Looking for you, baby.

Glad you made it.

Otherwise, we'd have to eat this all by ourselves.

Oh, no chance.

What's with the Jeep?

Turning over a new leaf?

No, it's just a rental till Manny gets the Speedster going.

Oh. Come on in.

Watch it, man. The cheese!

(laughter)

So, gentlemen, what is happening?

Nothing, man. How were the waves?

They're about three-foot.

Excellent sets, though.

Nice breaker to the left.

From out there, the city seems almost mellow.

Oh. I can almost imagine that.

Yeah, the problem is, eventually,

you got to paddle back in, so...

Well, you look a lot better, man. Yeah, I feel better.

In fact, I was actually thinking

of taking some classes on Monday.

I heard you've been spending some time

at the gun range popping off caps.

DYLAN: Yeah.

Let me guess-- Kelly asked you guys

to come over here and talk to me,

right?

She's just concerned, that's all.

She thinks you've gone Waco, man.

She thinks you're stockpiling firepower here.

Guys, she's overreacting.

I mean, come on. She's just...

She's feeling guilty, and I think we all know why.

I'll get the plates, you guys grab the drinks.

Sounds good.

MAN: A Walther PPK 9 mm Kurtz.

Excellent weapon.

Stopping power, size, elegance.

14 in the clip, one in the pipe.

I tried other guns, but, really,

it was a no-brainer.

That's very unique.

Denny from the target range says you're a damn good shot.

Uh... hold on, Mr. McKay.

Denny never told me your age.

Unless you're over 21, I'm afraid

I can't sell you a handgun.

I'm sorry, that's the law.

Wait, you're telling me I can't buy peace of mind?

How about a shotgun?

I don't think it'll fit in my glove compartment.

Listen, buddy,

this city is full of 15 year olds

running around with MAC-10 Street Sweepers.

I don't think anybody is checking their ID.

Hey, believe me, I sympathize with your situation,

but I can't help you.

(sighs)

At least not here.

But after hours, there are a lot of guys

who can get you anything you want.

Okay.

I'll see you after hours.