Original subtitles

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Hey, little girl, I've got something to say ♪

♪ Let me spin your heart in a different way ♪

♪ No, I'm not talking about a new kind of dance ♪

♪ Yes, I've got my mind set on romance ♪

♪ I said hey ♪

♪ It happens every day ♪

♪ People fall in love ♪

♪ They can't get enough... ♪

How ya holdin' up, Brando?

Better than the air-conditioning.

Yeah, well, don't worry, the guy promised me

he'd have it fixed by Christmas. Ha!

(chuckles)

Let's bail, bro.

Steve,

you couldn't have picked a worse day, my friend.

What are you talking about?

This is practically the best day of my entire life!

What happened? Did you lose your virginity again?

No.

I got in, man.

To California University?

They took me off the waiting list this morning.

Wait a minute, man, I oughta knock your lights out.

Why?

Because all summer

all I've been hearing from you is,

"Oh, everybody's going to college but me.

"Oh, I'm such a big loser.

Oh, my life's going nowhere."

I don't recall saying any of that.

Uh-huh. Well, congratulations, man.

Thanks, bro, but that's not even the best thing

that happened to me today.

They sent you a master key with your registration packet?

I knew you were gonna say that.

No, this, this, my friend,

this is the key to the beach house

where you and I are gonna be spending the rest of the summer.

Run that by me again.

For the next two weeks,

you and I on the beach

at Malibu.

♪ Ladies on the bar kicking up their feet ♪

♪ Got the house moving to a rock and roll beat ♪

♪ Feels like the music's never gonna stop ♪

♪ Yeah, we're gonna party until we drop ♪

♪ Ain't nobody leaving till we see the break of day ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Looks like everybody feels all right ♪

♪ No one's going home till the morning light ♪

♪ It's Saturday night all night... ♪

♪ Do, do, do. ♪

Man, it's like a whole other universe out here. Look at this.

Oh, you're going to see how the other half lives, Brandon.

Whoa, whoa, slow down. I think we're getting close.

What's the address?

Uh, 25505 Old Malibu Road.

Well, this must be the place.

Are you sure you got the right address?

What, this place isn't good enough for you?

No, Steve, this is fine.

It's just, this isn't 25505.

That is.

Let me see this.

29909 Old Malibu Road.

That's a nine? That's a nine, all right, I...

When I look at that, I don't see a nine. What do you see?

I see a nine. I see a bouncy nine, okay?

It's a bouncy five.

Let's go.

STEVE: Is this a little more of what you had in mind, Mr. Walsh?

I think this might do.

Whose house is this anyway?

Guy Flemming.

He's a producer/director friend of my mother's.

He's trying to get her to star in his new sitcom.

And this is his way of sweetening the deal?

Hooray for Hollywood.

BRANDON: Check out this view.

Check out that view.

Mm, Celeste is gonna be jealous.

Come on. It's not like I'm married to the girl.

I gotta call her.

(laughs)

Hey, man,

do you think we could have

Brenda's going-away party out here?

No problem. When is she leaving?

Day after tomorrow.

I can't believe it. So soon?

Tell me about it.

I figure the least we could do is throw her a killer party.

Lucky for you

killer parties are the specialty of the house.

♪ ♪

(chuckles)

What do you think?

I think that's very clever, Celeste.

Thanks.

Brenda's gonna love it.

I hope so. I know so.

Check out your man out there.

Love is blind. What can I say?

Knock-knock.

Well, if it isn't the camp counselors.

Well, not anymore.

Ah, liberation day.

And was it hard saying good-bye to all those little campers?

Uh, yeah, it really was.

Well, especially 'cause it means

summer's almost over.

No, no, no!

Don't say that.

Look, I have to put the ice cream in the freezer

before it melts. The kitchen this way?

Sure, yeah, kitchen's right through the living room. Thanks.

God, Brandon, this place is great!

We like to think of it as home.

DAVID: Hey, don't even mention that word

till I find a place to live.

Silver, how you doing, brother? Long time. What's up?

How you doing man? Good.

So, no luck?

Well, I found one place that might work.

But I don't know.

Listen, I'm gonna go take a swim.

Sure. Ocean's right over there.

Thanks.

(Brandon laughs)

Poor David, the apartments around campus are so expensive.

Hey, life is expensive.

Hey, look who I found.

Still wearing her colors.

I came straight from the Beach Club.

Did Henry give you a little farewell bonus?

That a girl.

Oh, Bren, I'm gonna miss you.

I'm gonna miss you, too, but it's like we talked about,

it's time for all of us

to move on with our lives, right, Brandon?

No, ladies, actually,

it is time for us

to have a party.

(giggles)

Good eats, son.

Thanks, Dad.

You know, I was thinking maybe I'd just skip college

and open up my own restaurant. What do you think?

You're kidding, right?

That's right, Dad, I'm kidding.

Just reality-checking.

Yeah, yeah. Hey, hey, did you win, man?

It was a fluky game.

So you lost?

It was windy.

You know, I think the last time

that everyone was together like this was your graduation.

Not everyone, Mom.

Oh, yes. When are Kelly and Dylan coming back from Europe?

Two weeks.

Have you talked to them in awhile?

No.

I just got a cable from Dylan this morning.

What did he say?

"Send money."

(laughs)

DONNA: Well, I wish Kelly would call me

so I can tell her we won the freshman lottery

and got into the dorms.

So, Brandon, did you get a dorm?

No, man, I got shut out.

Yeah, well, join the club.

It's not gonna be that bad.

I'm gonna turn the second story of Castle Walsh

into a deluxe two-bedroom suite

with a Jacuzzi maybe.

Are you trying to torture me, Brandon?

Of course I am.

Listen Steve, I don't know

what your living situation is next year,

but I was thinking...

Perish the thought.

Well, if we had... Perish the thought.

Sharing a bathroom with you

is not exactly my life's ambition.

Sorry.

Excuse me. I might have to go soon,

so I, uh, I just wanted to give this to you now.

You didn't have to get me anything.

Well, I know, it's just a muffler,

but since I'm staying here, I wanted you to have it.

Thanks.

So, do you have any regrets about not going to Yale?

Well, I did at first, but you know,

since Grandma Rose hasn't been feeling well, I, I don't know.

It just made sense for me to stay in LA

and go to California University

with everybody else.

Brenda, I really admire you for going out on your own.

I... I think it's great.

Thanks.

You know, honey, I think we better be heading back.

Already?

Well, unlike you, I haven't packed yet

and our flight leaves fairly early tomorrow.

Well, actually, I was hoping that I could stay here

with Brandon and Steve tonight.

It's your last night in California.

I know. I just didn't want

to get into a big sentimental thing.

Then, how can I burst in your room

and beg you to stay if you're not there?

Okay, if you want me to go home, I will.

See you tomorrow morning, honey.

Thanks, Daddy. Bye.

Bye-bye, sweetie.

Good night. Bye-bye.

Thanks for a great party, everyone. Bye, everybody.

Bye! Bye! Take care, Mr. Walsh.

Bye, Mom, bye, Dad.

Who wants a beer?!

ALL: Yeah!

♪ ♪

So your brother says they have another hot tub

on the upstairs deck.

Then by all means,

you should go upstairs and deck yourself, Tony.

(sighs): Yeah.

So, I guess this means I'm not getting a going-away present?

Have fun in Arizona.

And don't get hurt playing football.

I'll try not to.

Hey. Do you have any idea what it's like being crazy

about someone and know you're never gonna sleep with them?

♪ You're the only one ♪

Yeah, I've got a vague idea.

(phone ringing)

♪ When I'm with you, I feel alive ♪

Hello.

Hello?!

It's a bad connection.

I didn't hear any of that.

Donna, it's me. Kelly.

Kelly?

Brenda, it's Kelly!

Where are you? When are you coming home?

I am home, I'm in the car. You are?

Brandon. Hey.

Hey, this really is like a reunion.

Glad you stuck around?

Yeah, well, I wish I'd brought my bathing suit.

Ah, you could probably borrow one from someone

or you know, we could all go skinny dipping. (doorbell ringing)

Surprise! Hi!

When you called, the connection was so bad

I thought you were still in Europe.

No, I've been driving around trying to find a parking place.

God, this is such a scene. Isn't it a zoo?

Steve and all his drinking buddies.

Welcome back.

I can't believe I'm looking at you.

I know.

Hey, me either. Hi.

So, when'd you get home?

About two hours ago.

Excuse me, mademoiselle,

no one gets to crash this party without a kiss.

How are you? Good.

Oh, hi, Celeste. Welcome back, Kelly.

How was Europe? It was great.

We ended up in this picturesque little village...

Wait. I can't hear you with the music. Really.

Why don't we all go outside? Yeah.

♪ Shine all my happiness from heaven above ♪

No, no, where you going?

Yes, this is much better.

Yeah, you can hear yourself think.

BRENDA: So what were you saying?

So, we stumbled on this little town

about 200 miles south of Paris.

And we stayed in this old castle,

had a great restaurant and a tavern

where everyone in town was hanging out.

And we tried to speak French.

We ate and we danced.

Dylan played a lot of chess.

How is Dylan? He's fine.

He's still in Europe.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, uh, he wanted to go to Greece,

and I went down to Barcelona to meet my father.

Wow! How global.

I learned a lot on this trip.

(glass breaking)

Oops.

Tell me I didn't hear that.

DAVID: Uh, you didn't hear that.

Excuse us.

They are so cute together.

Yeah.

You guys want something to drink?

Yeah, I'll have a soda, something non-alcoholic.

Me, too. No, thanks.

So, when are you leaving?

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Will you tell her not to go, please?

I'm just glad I got back in time to say good-bye.

Oh what, you wanted to watch me

turn into a total basket case, is that it?

That's it.

Well, no such luck. I vowed not to fall apart tonight.

Well, just don't forget us when you're gone.

Never.

Well, if it isn't Kelly Taylor.

Oh, swimmers.

It really is a reunion. How you doing?

What broke?

Nothing special, just a punch bowl.

(loud crash)

I don't believe this.

Uh, I'll be right there, guys, and give you a hand.

Ladies, don't go anywhere.

I'm afraid this party is gonna go all night long.

(laughing)

(sighs)

Hi.

Hi.

Did you sleep?

Not really.

You wanna get rolling?

Yeah. I don't want to miss my plane.

No problem, but first we have to make one final pit stop.

Are we open?

Oh, I've been hoping to see you.

Yeah, I told her she couldn't leave without one final taste,

but I didn't tell her about the menu.

What about the menu?

Well, starting tonight,

the Peach Pit will feature a new selection.

Laverne's Honey Pie.

Oh, Nat.

Want a sample?

Feeling a little bit sentimental there, Bren?

(clearing throat) Uh, me, too.

Look at the Wall of Fame.

BRANDON: My shirt.

Well, you didn't think I was gonna make you

work here forever, did you?

Both of you,

enjoy school, but if you ever need a job,

you know where to come.

Thanks, Nat.

BRANDON: So, before you go, Bren,

you think I should put a pool table over here,

or maybe a plaque in memory of you?

Brandon, come on, this is hard enough on me as it is.

I thought you were ready to get on with your life.

I am. I just wish you were coming with me.

And endure another Minnesota winter?

I don't think so.

Well, I'll be back here for Thanksgiving,

so make sure L.A.'s having a heat wave, all right?

I'm going to miss you, Bren.

(distant horn honking)

CINDY: Brenda, the van is here.

I hate good-byes.

We'll always be here for you, no matter what.

I know.

You better get going.

Yeah. Tell Mom that I'll be down in a minute, okay?

All right. (grunts)

(coughs)

Morning, Brandon. Morning, Celeste.

Do you want some coffee? Yeah, please. Thanks.

This room looks just about as bad as I remember it.

What'd you expect, all this stuff to just, to just go poof?

No, I expected

maybe you guys would be into it by now.

No such luck, man.

Come on, let's go.

Where we going? To get some breakfast.

I already had breakfast.

Have another breakfast.

Steve, we can't just leave everything like this.

Why not?

It's going to be here when we get back, right?

Until then, we can go chow down,

we can go play some volleyball, maybe hit the waves... Thanks.

Ooh, I better get some sunscreen.

You know, Steve, it is possible

that you are the laziest man on the planet, you know that?

You know, I prefer to consider it

a lifestyle choice, thank you.

Hey, Kel, had a hard day's night?

(laughs) I don't even know what time zone I'm in.

Did you take Bren to the airport?

No, her and my mom got on a shuttle van.

How weird is it going to be without her here?

I'm still in shock.

Who isn't?

Good morning. Hey, Andrea.

Andrea, join us for breakfast.

No, I think I'm gonna take a walk

up to the lagoon before it gets too hot.

Would that happen to be the lagoon where Gil Meyers lives?

Go to breakfast, Brandon.

My sentiments exactly.

Let's go.

Hurry, we're going to breakfast.

Just give me two minutes.

Uh, Kelly... what are you doing today?

Sleeping, unpacking.

Soaking in a hot tub for the next ten hours. Why?

Well, I was kind of hoping you could help me look for an apartment.

I thought you said you already found one that was halfway decent.

Well, yeah, it's not terrible.

But well, it's small and it kind of smells

and it's ugly and depressing.

But it's the best one I could find.

I'll tell you what:

Let me get un-jet-lagged, then first thing tomorrow

we'll find you a place to live.

Thanks.

I'm glad you're back.

Me, too.

Come on, I'm starving. Let's get breakfast.

(laughing)

Read any good books lately?

Zuckerman, what are you doing here?

Why aren't you back in New Haven?

Well, what can I say?

Once a California girl, always a California girl.

Seriously, doesn't freshman orientation start this week?

Yeah, I think it does,

but, uh, I've decided to stay in town

and go to California University.

You did?

Well, with my grandmother being sick

and the Alumni Council

throwing more and more scholarship money at me,

they made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

I take it you don't approve.

No, no, not at all.

California U is a fine academic institution.

It's not Yale.

Gil...

Hey, I'm just teasing you.

So what if I spent hours

slaving over your letter of recommendation,

and even bugged the Dean of Admissions on your behalf?

Don't make me feel guilty or anything.

No, obviously you had your reasons

for not venturing back to Yale,

and I'm sure a high percentage of them were probably even valid.

Good-bye, Gil.

Zuckerman...

I'm sorry.

That was unfair.

You're an easy target, that's why I like teasing you.

But the fact is,

you're a terrific person

and a terrific student.

California U is damn lucky to have you on their campus.

(laughing)

The experts are saying that the climate is changing

at an alarming rate.

It's called Global Warming.

For all I know it might be true.

It is true, Mother.

It's called Global Warming.

What's the weather like in Beverly Hills, Brenda?

It's pretty nice.

It rained a lot last winter,

but usually it's not too hot, or too cold.

They're predicting this is going to be

the coldest winter ever here.

Great. Something to look forward to.

CINDY: Don't worry.

They're always saying things like that

so everyone will go out and buy a new overcoat.

Yes, but this winter is supposed to be particularly brutal.

Cousin Brenda,

can I ask you a question?

Sure.

Have you ever eaten at the Hard Rock Cafe?

A couple of times.

Wow! What about Planet Hollywood?!

Well... Oh, wait!

I know what I want to ask you. What about ToonTown?

Lindsey, will you let Brenda

come up for air?

Sorry.

It's okay.

Oh, Brenda,

I will never forget what happened the night

before your mother started at the U.

She broke out in hives.

Mother, that wasn't me, that was Paula.

But you were plenty nervous, too, dear.

I didn't break out in hives.

Besides, it's perfectly natural to be

a little uptight when starting a new situation.

I didn't say it wasn't, dear.

Fine. Let's just drop it.

All I said was that both you and your sister were a little tense

before you started college.

Cousin Brenda,

are you tense?

Are we almost there?

Yes. No.

Thanks, Mother.

I thought Paula lived in the dorms with you.

No, Mother, I lived here.

Paula lived in Brewster House.

Are you sure about that?

What about Universal Studios?

Lindsey...

I'm sorry. I'll shut up.

No, you don't have to do that.

Look, I just don't want to talk about California anymore.

I mean, I'm back here now, and I'm trying to get my bearings,

but it's not very easy

when all you do is ask me questions about Beverly Hills.

I promise you won't hear one peep about Beverly Hills

until you say it's okay.

WOMAN: Brenda!

Darla! Hey, how are you?

You look great.

Thanks, so do you.

When did you get here? Yesterday.

Ah, but don't worry. I didn't touch your half of the room.

This is my cousin Lindsey.

This is Darla Hansen,

one of my oldest and bestest

friends from junior high. We're going to be roommates.

Hey, you know who else is on our floor?

Katie Destable

and Jan Myler. Great.

And Jan wanted me to make sure

I ask you a very specific question.

Sure.

What's Tom Cruise really like?

Does this mean it's okay

to talk about Beverly Hills again?

(sighs)

BRANDON: Steve, lighten up, man.

So that guy blocked your best spike?

It's no big deal.

He was, you know, about this tall.

What're you trying to do? Rub it in?

I'm kidding. man. Come on.

I just hate losing to inferior players.

Oh, you just hate losing, period.

You do, man, I think you need

to seek psychiatric help for your problem.

Whose side are you on?

Yours. Don't forget it.

And don't you guys forget

to come and help me clean up this mess, okay?

We won't be long. All right.

You know, you can feel free

to start without us if you get the urge.

Yeah, I got your urge right over here, brother.

Hold it right there! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, what the hell are you doing?!

Just shut up and put that down.

Is that mace? What're you...?

Hey, I said don't move and I mean it! Sorry, sorry, sorry. Come on.

Why don't you just put the mace down? Don't tell me what to do!

I give up, okay? I give up.

Put the mace down. Let's talk about this.

This is obviously some kind of misunderstanding.

Why don't you just put the mace down, okay?

This is like Celebrity Row out here.

In five minutes, I've seen Bruce Willis, Rob Reiner and Diana Ross.

This is Malibu.

They don't let you on this beach

without a SAG card.

(laughs) You're funny.

Come here.

BRANDON: What's the matter with you?!

Are you crazy?!

Is he okay?

Ah, he's just goofing around.

Look, why don't you put down the mace?

I'm not gonna hurt you.

What's that?

Get back! Just get back!

Why don't you just relax?

Brandon!

Steve! Stevie?

Jill?

What are you doing here? What are you doing here?

I just flew in on the red-eye.

You know this person?!

It's Jill Flemming.

It's Guy Flemming's daughter.

Jill, how are you?

A little shaky.

You're a little psychopath!

Brandon, what is the matter with you?

What's the matter with me?

I come in here to get a soda,

next thing I know I'm involved in chemical warfare.

I guess I overreacted a little bit.

A little bit?

You always walk around with a can of mace?

Wait a minute. Are you related to Emily Valentine?

Well, excuse me, but I walk into my father's house

expecting to find my father,

and instead I find the door open,

the house completely trashed

and some strange guy walking around with a toaster oven.

So I jump to the conclusion

that we're being ripped off.

Silly me.

(laughs) It's pretty funny if you think about it.

You tried to poke my eyeballs out.

I'm sorry. I really am.

I'm a New Yorker.

I get paranoid.

Jill Flemming.

Brandon Walsh.

STEVE: Brandon and I

are house-sitting for the next two weeks.

I guess your father didn't tell you

about that, huh?

Oh, I wanted to surprise him.

What, he's not in town?

I believe my mother said he was in North Carolina.

Oh, right. The Andy Griffith thing.

He's directing Matlock Meets Aunt Bee

or something like that.

Look, uh,

once you get to know me, I'm really not a lunatic.

I'll take your word for that.

So tell me,

what's it like living in an actual pigsty?

(chuckles)

Well, Brandon and I had a major good-bye party

for his sister last night.

Was that last night?

Yeah, don't worry. We'll get everything back the way it was

and be out of here by the end of the day. Oh, no, no.

You don't have to leave on my account.

The more the merrier, right?

(laughs)

Uh, Celeste, this is Jill.

Jill, Celeste.

Hi, Celeste.

Hi.

DARLA: Gosh, I just hope

none of my classes start before 10:00.

Oh, like freshmen have any say in the matter.

Well, if I can get this schedule,

I will have Thursdays off.

What are you taking, Bren?

Introduction to Dramatic Literature,

The History of Broadcasting and an acting workshop.

What?

People usually go out to California

to take acting workshops,

not the other way around.

I guess I'm starting a new trend.

Brenda's always been very trendy.

So I gotta ask,

do you know any movie stars or kids of movie stars?

Just Samantha Sanders' son.

Gosh, I bet he's pretty screwed-up, huh?

No, actually, Steve's a really good guy.

He's not a snob?

He's my brother's best friend.

Is he spoiled?

No more than anyone else.

Anyone from Beverly Hills, that is.

So, what kind of car does he drive?

He drives a Corvette.

And my ex-boyfriend drives a Porsche,

and most of my other friends drive BMW convertibles.

They shop on Rodeo Drive

and they're all incredibly shallow, phony and brain-dead.

And there any other stupid questions that I can answer?

Brenda! Look, I'm sorry,

but you guys are making me feel incredibly self-conscious.

It's not like I'm Brenda Walsh, I'm "Brenda Beverly Hills."

You're right.

I'm sorry.

But you know, it's just the name "Beverly Hills"

that conjures up all these images and stereotypes.

Well, the way I see it...

if someone doesn't like me because I'm from Beverly Hills,

it's their loss.

Absolutely!

And if someone only likes me

because I went to West Beverly High,

well, that's not going to work either.

The truth of the matter is, LA isn't that much different

from the rest of the country. It really isn't.

I don't know why we're down here.

You know the beach is way out of my price range.

Then where do you want to live, David?

Melrose Place?

What's wrong with Melrose Place?

It's not the beach.

I can't afford to live at the beach.

You know, I thought you asked me to help you

find an apartment because you valued my opinion, but....

Okay, okay, fine. While we're down here,

we'll see what's what.

Don't worry. We'll find something.

You guys want some juice or something?

No, thank you.

It's like he is regressing right before my eyes.

I wish they had room for him in the dorms.

Tell you what.

He can have my spot and I'll move to the beach.

Kel!

It has nothing to do with you.

It's just the thought of living on campus

is so... institutional.

Well, you could move in with Dylan.

I seriously doubt that.

Oh, come on. I bet you could convince him.

Maybe...

if we were still on speaking terms.

What?

You heard me.

Europe wasn't exactly as picturesque as I made it seem.

What happened?

Everything was actually très jolie

until Dylan found out he didn't get into Berkeley.

He didn't?

They didn't even put him on the waiting list.

And at that point, we had been at that old castle

for about two weeks, and frankly, I was starting

to get a little claustrophobic being in the same place

with the same people who hardly spoke to me

and who hardly showered.

And I said something to Dylan, he just checked out on me.

Wait, you mean he left without even saying good-bye?

Donna, you have to promise

not to tell anybody what I'm telling you.

I cross my heart, hope to die.

We broke up.

Kel...

Anybody who says being in a good relationship is easy

has never been in a good relationship.

Oh! How can you call these things bagels?

Mm!

What's the matter? Isn't it fresh?

No, it's fresh.

It's just not a New York bagel.

What's a New York bagel like?

It's rude and obnoxious.

Har-dee-har-har.

Score one for the boy from Beverly Hills.

Oh, yeah, he wishes he could score. Don't you, Stevie?

Well, I must admit I've always had a soft spot in my heart

for Jill ever since she taught me how to French kiss

when we were mere young'uns.

Robbin' the cradle, huh?

Uh-uh! He told me he was 14!

Anything for a cheap thrill.

(fork clatters on plate)

Cel, you want some more OJ?

No, actually, I think I'll go get another bagel.

I think they're delicious.

Excuse me.

Oh, come on. We were just reminiscing.

Mm-hmm.

Don't tell me you feel threatened because I made out

with Jill when I was a kid? No, Steve.

Then what's bothering you?

What's bothering me is you've been so busy fawning over her,

you haven't even said a word to me all morning.

Celeste! I haven't seen...

No! And if you ever want to be with me again,

you better just remember where your bagel's buttered, buddy.

Kitchen floors, completely tiled,

all the carpets are new.

And all of the rooms have been freshly painted,

there's plenty of parking in the rear

and the view is worth a million bucks.

Yeah, that's probably how much the rent is.

It's worth it.

But it's a two- bedroom apartment.

Listen, thanks for

your time, but I was really looking

for a one bedroom. We'll take it.

Kelly, what are you talking about? I can't afford

to live here. Even if I could, I don't have

a roommate. You do now.

Kelly!

Donna...

No, you can't leave me

stranded at the dorms.

I'll never make it through a year by myself.

LANDLORD: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.

If you like this apartment, yous'll love the one upstairs.

Everything is exactly the same,

except it's got three bedrooms,

and the view is worth two million bucks.

What do you say?

Oh, this is crazy.

Let's do it!

Guys, guys, how can we afford to live here?

We'll figure something out.

LANDLORD: I'll need the first and last month's rent,

and a security deposit.

Yeah, sure, no problem.

We'll get it to you as soon as they explain to their mothers

why they won't be living in the dorm.

I'm sure Donna's mom will be real understanding.

With Celeste, all I do is go "boo"

and she's on me like white on rice.

Feeling the yoke, my brother?

I had no idea she was so possessive.

She went way over the top this morning. Steve, Steve, Steve,

you were laying it on pretty thick with Jill.

That's an entirely different story. No, it's not, man,

you flirt with chicks every chance you get.

All right, so that may be true,

but I've wanted Jill Flemming my entire life,

the fact of the matter is since before puberty.

How old is Jill anyway?

Two years older than us, but I'm telling you,

the way she's dropping these hints,

I don't think age is a factor anymore.

Steve, are you and I watching the same play?

I haven't seen her drop anything.

I mean, I can see why you're attracted to her,

even though she is a paranoid New Yorker.

I love that.

You want to jeopardize what you have with Celeste

for some girl who's only gonna be here for two weeks?

Yeah, you're right.

Hey, Andrea!

Zuckerman!

Looks like she's in an awful big hurry

to get back to the lagoon.

Yah, mon.

Gil.

Zuckerman.

Twice in two days.

People might start talking.

Well, they can talk as much as they want.

I don't think that, um, that you and I

are gonna have a lot to say to each other

by the time I'm finished.

What's wrong?

My not going to Yale was one of the toughest decisions

that I've ever had to make

and I don't appreciate that you treat it

like some kind of joke.

Andrea... And I don't care

if you think that I wimped out because I'm staying here.

This is my life. I don't have to

justify myself to you or to anybody else.

So what if I don't go to the God Almighty Ivy League?!

Really, who cares? (laughing)

What am I doing?

(laughing) It's okay.

It's okay.

Come here, sit down.

Oh, Gil...

Oh, I feel like I've missed the train

and it's never coming back for me.

Like I said the other day,

California University is a great school,

and if you don't like it, you can always transfer.

Or here's a revolutionary idea--

you can take some time off to find yourself.

But whatever you do, just remember

no one's keeping score but you, okay?

I'm so embarrassed.

So you bit my head off.

What's a little venting between friends?

You want to stay for lunch?

Well, I don't want to put you out.

We're just having tuna salad.

I'll tell Maggie to set another place.

Who's Maggie? Your chef?

My fiancée.

You never met her?

No.

Come on in. I'll introduce you.

Great.

So, Brenda, is anything starting to look familiar?

Everything looks exactly the same.

That's 'cause nothing ever changes around here.

There it is!

6131 Barrows Drive.

It used to seem so much bigger.

That's because you used to be so much smaller.

When I look at that lawn all I can see

are two little four-year-old twins dressed like Indians.

I remember that.

So do I.

(doorbell rings)

Well, doesn't look like anybody's home.

Maybe it's just as well.

I really wanted to see what they did to my old room.

Don't worry, you'll have plenty of time

to come back during school year.

Yeah.

Did you and cousin Brandon used to climb this tree?

We used to swing from an old tire

that my dad hung up on one of the branches.

We would wait for the ice cream truck to come,

and I would always get a cherry popsicle,

and Brandon would always get a drumstick.

So it was just as boring growing up then

as it is now, huh?

No, I loved growing up here.

You love being back here now?

What I don't love is being bit by these killer mosquitoes.

Welcome back to Minnesota.

You know, they say that this has been the worst year

for mosquitoes ever, and frankly,

I don't ever remember it being this bad.

Mom, can I talk to you for a second?

Why, sure.

I don't know about this.

About what?

What if I made a terrible mistake coming back here?

What if things don't work?

Honey, don't let it upset you.

The first days are always the hardest.

You'll feel much better

once classes start, you'll see.

I hope so.

Ow!

Must have the wrong number.

Steven, don't be a wuss.

Just give me a sec, will ya?

Ollie, ollie oxen free.

Going for that full-bodied tan?

No, just trying to unwind a little,

trying to get a handle on all my urban angst.

Well, you definitely have a nice set of handles,

not that I was peeking

or anything. Sure, Steve.

Um... No, listen, before we go any further

I have to confess something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Before you get all pious on me,

uh, what can you tell me about your friend?

You want to know about Brandon?

No, I want to know about Murgatroyd.

Yes, of course, Brandon.

You want to know if he's seeing anybody?

I don't know, Stevie, you must be psychic.

I think you two will make a perfect fit.

We'll see.

Okay, here goes nothing.

Hey, beautiful, let's take a walk.

You know you're much better looking without your mace.

♪ Come along ♪

Seriously, Nat,

if you were to open up the Peach Pit in Paris,

it would only be a matter of time

before you were bigger than Jerry Lewis.

Yeah, but then I'd have to walk around the Champs-Élysées

yelling out, "Hey, Dean! Dean!"

Who's Dean?

I don't know.

So, Felice didn't go for the idea, huh?

Not exactly.

Well, what did Jackie say?

Jackie was cool.

Jackie's always cool.

So your mom said no?

No, it's a little more complicated than that.

See, my dad's moving to Houston.

Wait a minute, your parents are getting a divorce?

No, my dad's getting a fellowship to medical school.

My mom's just going to be living there with him.

And she wants you to move to Houston with them?

Well, she's a little concerned

about me staying in town by myself,

let alone move off campus,

but she finally gave in.

You're kidding.

That's great.

Yeah.

So, what's wrong?

Well, she said I could live at the beach... with Kelly

and we could

get a two-bedroom apartment...

with only me and Kelly.

So what about me?

So, I didn't tell her you were gonna be living there.

Donna, I don't believe you.

Hi.

Hi.

How was your aunt's party?

Well, it wasn't too painful.

Actually, it was kinda fun seeing all the relatives again.

I thought you were going to that big bash at the Kappa house.

I still am,

but I waited around in case you changed your mind.

I don't know.

Listen, Brenda...

I know we got off to a kind of bumpy start,

but I just want you to know

that I'm really glad that we're roommates

and that you decided to come back home.

Thanks.

So, should we go check out this party?

Yeah. After you.

(ringing)

(line ringing)

OPERATOR: I am sorry, monsieur, there is no answer.

Shall I try another number?

No, operator, that's okay.

I'll, uh... maybe I'll try again sometime.