Original subtitles

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So...

hmm...

Who are you gonna bet on in the Super Bowl, huh, bro?

What, are you holding out on me?

Me? Never.

Let me see.

Come on.

Brandon...

Dude!

You picked the Knicks?

The Knicks plus eight.

Brandon,

don't you know that betting on basketball

is for suckers?

Mm-hmm. We'll see.

All right,

all right, just don't come crawling to me

when you lose that shirt of yours.

What shirt? Funny, Walsh.

Donna, I can't believe you're passing up

a whole weekend to be pampered to death.

Yeah, I'm going to get messages

every morning and every night.

Me, too.

I know, but it's a mother-daughter thing.

And I'd just feel like a fifth wheel.

Donna, are you sure your mom is really, really sick?

Kel, she's not faking it.

I mean, do you honestly think my mom would bail out

on something that's prepaid, and non-refundable? No.

Can't you go with somebody else?

Like who?

Look, you guys, I'm just not into those kind of places.

Andrea, how do you know?

You've never been to a health spa before.

Yeah, and the Montecito Spa

is supposed to be the best in California.

And it's totally geared to women.

And it's totally free.

And it's totally luxurious.

And we'll all be together.

It'll be a blast. I don't know.

Getting massages and beauty tips makes me a little nervous.

Somehow I've never had that problem.

Don't think of it in terms of vanity.

Think of it more of nurturing and relaxation.

And just think the whirlpool will definitely be good

for your legs.

Well, that's true. Come on, Andrea,

admit it.

Aren't you just the tiniest bit curious?

Maybe just a little.

I mean, it is free,

and I could write a story about it in the Blaze.

Okay.

The meat loaf is for dinner tonight

and the arroz con pollo is for tomorrow.

Ever hear of takeout?

Jackie, would you tell your friend

that I might just be capable

of taking care of myself for a few days?

Whatever you say, Jim.

Are you guys almost packed?

Almost.

Uh, Mom, can I borrow your new robe?

Nobody takes a robe to the Montecito.

Everybody just walks around naked?

No. They give you these really comfy little wraparounds

that are like environmentally perfect, right, Mom?

That's what they tell me.

See? Cool.

Uh, we're gonna go in 15 minutes.

Okay.

Thank God they're on speaking terms again.

Well, you know it will end as soon as Dylan decides

which one he wants to start dating again.

Let's hope not.

Well, have a great weekend, ladies.

Try not to think too hard about

me slaving away back here.

You're working this weekend?

I've got an audit coming up.

We represent this psychiatrist

who's written this best seller.

What is it?

Uh, it's some pop psychology thing, you know?

Do you know the name of it?

Uh, it's... Mid-life, Now What?

Oh, I read it.

It's fabulous.

Every wife should read it.

KELLY: Hey, Mom, let's go!

Excuse me.

Anyway, have a great weekend.

I suppose you'll be working with Dottie all weekend?

No.

I am going to be working with Dr. Benjamin Kramer.

Dottie is my secretary, and, yes, she will be with me.

Great.

Honey...

you have got nothing to worry about,

which you already know. Hmm?

Anyway...

I'm much too old to be having a mid-life crisis.

Hey, Nat, could you do me a favor, pal?

What's that? Would you call Duke

and get me some action for tonight?

Uh, who do you want? How much?

Give me the Knicks for half.

Wait, wait, isn't that a little too steep?

Only if I lose.

Dylan, I'm telling you, it's a party

in the Palisades.

The Pacific Palisades.

Come on, you know how it is there, man.

If you're not a babe by the time you turn 16,

they ask you to move out of town.

Steve, the last thing I need to do right now

is to meet more girls, man.

Silver, how about it?

I got two tests on Monday,

and a girlfriend at a health spa.

You're a dweeb, you know that?

Hey, Brando,

you up for a little partying in the Palisades, tonight?

No can do, chief, I'm gonna stay home and watch the Knicks game.

What's with you guys?

I'm out of here.

This place is so peaceful.

I can feel myself melting into this couch.

They'll have to carry us out on a stretcher

by the time this weekend is over.

You guys, did you-- did you see all the exotic

massages they have here? Listen to this.

They have Jin Shin Do,

Watsu and Reflexology. What's Jin Shin Do?

I guess they'll explain it later. Listen to this.

They got low impact aerobics, water aerobics,

(gasps) and yoga.

Oh, I've always wanted to take yoga! When...

it's two hours.

That totally conflicts with their guided tours

through the arboretum. What am I supposed to do?

Andrea. Maybe they'll let me take

a late class if I skip breakfast. What do you think?

Andrea. Maybe they have a early bird class

that I could take before 6:00 a.m.

Andrea. Huh?

Relax.

JACKIE: Well, we're all set.

Now all I have to do is lose the ten pounds

I put on since Erin was born.

Well, that sounds easier than losing 15 years.

(chuckles) Jackie?

Babette, hi!

You look fantastic!

You, too, thank you!

Babette Lewis, this is Cindy Walsh.

Hi, nice to meet you. Hi, nice to meet you.

Babette, this is her daughter, Brenda.

Hi. And this is Andrea.

Hi. And Donna.

Hi. And you remember Kelly?

Of course I do, hi.

Oh, it's been a long time.

Yeah, it has.

Are you here for the weekend?

Every weekend, I work here.

For the last two years. You're kidding?

No. So if any of you need anything,

or want anything, feel free to give me a holler.

What room are you staying in?

Uh, 832. Oh, you guys have a great

view from up there. Oh, good.

Listen, I've got to go, but I'll give you a call. Okay.

Bye-bye. Okay, guys, let's go!

You know, this place is a Nirvana to begin with,

but with your mom's friend working here,

we will definitely be getting the royal treatment.

Believe me,

any treatment Babette can give you, you don't want.

What do you mean?

Babette used to be my mom's coke connection.

Hello, Sir Brandon.

Hey, Dad, look at this. Will you look at this.

Mom must've felt real guilty.

What do you want, the chicken

or the meat loaf? I'll grab something near the office.

I gotta work all weekend.

With Dottie?

Yes, with Dottie.

Way to go, Dad.

Excuse me, young raging hormones,

may I remind you, I'm a married man?

Hey, hey, hey, you don't have to explain

anything to me, you big stud.

(groans) (chuckles)

Good night. See you later, big guy.

(phone ringing)

Casa Walsh.

Oh, hey, Mom, how you doing?

Oh, fine, we got here.

I mean, we made good time. How are you?

Great. Listen, honey, is Dad there?

You know, he just ran out the door; you want me to go get him?

Oh, no, no, it's okay.

Um, what time did he say he'd be back?

Uh, actually, he didn't say.

Maybe you want to try him at the office.

He said he's going to be working all weekend.

Oh, okay, I'll just try him later.

Cool, talk to you later.

Bye, honey.

What's the matter?

You think they have a bookstore in this place?

You suppose they have a chapter in here

on men who have affairs with their secretaries?

Let me guess.

Early 30s and a knockout.

(chuckles)

More like late 20s and a knockout.

I know the type.

I was the type.

(ice falling in bucket)

How do I compete with that?

You can't.

And I'm sure Jim doesn't expect you to.

Well, he's going to be alone with her all weekend

while I'm having cellulite treatments.

Listen, if you weren't jealous

every once in awhile, you wouldn't be in love.

Jim is a good man,

and you guys have a great marriage.

Don't you?

What kind of man goes to Amsterdam on business

without bringing back any receipts?

The kind of man who doesn't want anyone

to know what he was doing in Amsterdam.

Yeah.

Uh... what do you say we double- check the office expenses?

Okay.

Okay, there's $2,795.75

for the portable computer,

$391.12 for the Dictaphone,

$1,587 for the laser printer,

$975.25 for the file cabinet.

So, that's $5,749.12 amortized over five years,

which would leave us a deduction of...

$1,148.82.

That's amazing.

Well, 20% is pretty standard.

I-I mean the way you

did those computations in your head.

I can't even balance my check book.

You're really a brilliant man, Mr. Walsh.

You should've seen me when I was in my prime.

As far as I can tell,

you are still in your prime.

(upbeat music playing)

♪ You made me cry... ♪

Hi. What are you guys doing?

Oh, just a little warm-up before we go get beautified.

But we're supposed to be inside.

Andrea.

Right. I know. Relax.

♪ Oh, oh, baby ♪

♪ And I'm taking my love with me ♪

♪ Oh, oh, baby ♪

♪ And I'm taking my love with me ♪

♪ Touch me ♪

♪ You never wanna do it ♪

♪ Kiss me ♪

♪ You never wanna do it ♪

♪ Feel me ♪

♪ You never wanna do it ♪

♪ Love me ♪

♪ You never wanna do it... ♪

Go!

Come on, baby!

(shrieks)

Oh! This is really weird.

I can't believe I'm taking a bath in mud.

It is so gooey.

It feels like there's hay in it or something.

It's not hay. It's herbs.

What kind of herbs?

The kind horses like to eat.

This is supposed to draw all the toxins

out of the skin, and restore its natural supple tone.

Well, I cannot move in this goop.

I don't know.

Rolling around in this slop just doesn't seem kosher.

Shh! Can we all be quiet and relaxed, please?

Morning, Nathaniel.

Mr. Duke. You don't waste any time.

A man's got to earn a living,

get something good to eat.

You came to the right place.

(cash register bell rings)

Remind me not to bet on a Shrine game again.

Why don't you give it to your prodigy there? He's the winner.

Well, thank you, sir.

But why don't you just hold on to that and we'll roll it over.

Yeah? Why not?

I'm playing with your money now, aren't I?

Br-Breakfast is served, sir.

Oh, yeah.

(soft rock playing on jukebox)

Will you stop with that song already?

What...?

Man, you must really be caught

between a rock and a hard place.

It's driving me crazy, man.

It's like I try

to picture myself with Brenda, I see Kelly.

If I picture myself with Kelly, I see Brenda.

It's a problem.

Yeah.

Listen, let me give you one piece of advice.

Stop playing that song,

or Nat's going to hurt you.

♪ You gave me your hand ♪

♪ And we walked in the sun ♪

♪ I said I love you... ♪

Ah... whoo! That was invigorating.

Oh, I'm freezing!

Well, the cold water closes your pores up.

My pores are freezing.

Okay, everybody all set?

Lisanne will take care of you two.

And you two are with me.

And don't worry.

We're going to do a lot of work on your problem areas.

Problem areas?

(soothing music plays)

So, where are you girls from?

Beverly Hills.

Oh, you girls go to college?

KELLY: High school.

High school?

They didn't make them like you

when I was in high school, thank God.

Of course, I'm not sure it would have made any difference.

I wasn't very popular anyway.

Eh, it's just as well.

Men...

who needs any, know what I mean?

My friend Mandy, she was going with this married man

for almost three months.

A rich guy from Beverly Hills.

He was crazy in love with her,

bought her gifts, sent her flowers,

till her best friend Sheila got her claws in him.

Can you imagine that?

I mean, two best friends

fighting over the same guy?

What a crazy thing to do, huh?

My legs feel like they're made out of rubber.

Are you as vegged out as I am?

Yeah, I'm a radish.

Ooh, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Yeah, if you're thinking of my thunder-thighs.

Kelly, that masseuse was an airhead.

Although what she said about her two best friends fighting

over the same guy, that kind of got to me.

Yeah, I wish Gina hadn't said anything either,

but one thing I can say for her,

she might have a big mouth,

but she's got great hands.

Well, let's go see how the others are doing.

Brenda, wait, um... do you think I have "problem areas"?

No, I'm serious.

Kelly, no. You're crazy.

That song goes again...

Oh, it's what he wants.

Don't look at me, Nat. I didn't do it, I swear.

Oh, yeah. Here you go.

What's with you, anyway?

I don't know, man. I just...

Nat, I'm kind of having girl problems, to the extreme.

(laughs): I kind of figured that out.

So, uh, who are you on the outs with?

Kelly or Brenda?

Kelly and Brenda.

I mean it depends what time of day it is, I swear.

Cheer up.

It's not like you're going to get married next week, are you?

(chuckles): Yeah.

I'll get you another cup of coffee.

♪ Wind in my hair and I'm feeling fine ♪

♪ Honey, all we need is you and me... ♪

DYLAN: Brenda, I'm home.

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!

Oh, girls, how are you?

Pick me up, Daddy, pick me up!

Come here, I gotcha, whoa, whoa!

I got you both, all right!

Oh, where's your mother?

Let's go in the Porsche today.

Spending my money, isn't she?

Where were you?

Oh, I been at work, darling, I'm sorry.

Hey, hey, Kevin, Kyle!

Now, hey, what have you guys done to this room?

Kevin! Kyle!

Hey, I had an important tax report

laying right there on that table.

Brenda!

Stop that, both of you!

You get over there! You go to your room!

BOY: Leave me alone!

There you are. I didn't hear you.

Come in.

I've been trying to decide

on wallpaper for the nursery.

What do you think?

Bunnies or bears?

(sighs)

BRENDA (echoing): Bunnies or bears?

Bunnies or bears? Bunnies or bears?

Bunnies or bears?

Here you go.

Thanks.

I cannot believe you ordered two whole lunches

at 392 calories apiece... that is 784 calories.

Well, mud-baths make me hungry.

Are you going to eat that avocado slice there?

Go ahead. Thanks.

She's like a bottomless pit.

How do you eat so much and stay so thin?

It's disgusting?

Oh, I ate a whole loaf of bread once.

Now that's disgusting.

Donna, are you sure you don't have bulimia or something?

I have a fast metabolism.

Geez.

Andrea, do you think Donna has

an eating disorder?

I don't know.

Andrea, I think

you're starting to get the hang of this place.

(giggles)

According to this,

66% of men over the age of 42 have had fantasies

of leaving their wife to run off with a younger woman.

Big surprise.

Okay, Dr. Kramer says,

"only expose these feelings to your wife

"if you are willing to accept the consequences

"which may be severe and painful.

"Remain in control.

"Don't panic.

"These fantasies are normal.

"But they are just fantasies...

Unless you make them a reality."

I wonder if they have a phone out here?

(phone ringing)

Jim Walsh's office.

Yes, is he in?

I'm sorry, but he's behind closed doors.

May I take a message?

Well, just tell him that his wife called.

Cindy!

Hi, I'm sorry, I didn't recognize your voice.

How's the spa?

It's great.

How's my husband?

Great. Really great.

Great.

Would you like for me to interrupt him?

No. It, it's not important.

Um, I'm sure you're taking good care of him.

I'm doing my best.

Great.

(knocking) The problem is...

Knock, knock, gentlemen,

it's lunchtime.

Oh, thank you, Dottie.

Cindy called about 20 minutes ago,

but she said not to disturb you.

Is she okay?

Yeah, she was just checking up on you...

making sure you're being a good boy.

Thai noodles and shrimp...

and my own personal favorite...

sweet and sour baby lamb.

Ooh.

Bon appétit.

JIM: Thanks.

Phew!

How do you concentrate around here?

(chuckling)

Hey, I'm a married man.

Well, so was I.

(chuckles)

Can I ask you a question?

If you'd like to.

Nah... forget it.

Okay.

You're right.

I can't concentrate.

I think about her all the time.

It's driving me crazy, Doc.

I don't know what to do.

Uh-huh.

I mean, I love my wife.

She's a terrific lady.

I can't even imagine life without her, but...

hey I'm only human, you know?

You see what my secretary is like.

Just between you and me.

Half the time I think she's coming on to me.

Which I know is crazy, I know, I know, I know.

But then I think...

"What if she is coming on to me?"

And then I get so guilty

for thinking about her at all.

You know what the worst part about it is?

She is by far and away

the best damn secretary I've ever had.

I see.

So, what am I going to do, Doc?

Well, maybe you'd like to make an appointment with my office,

and we could explore your feelings further.

(sighs)

Okay.

But I thought as long as you were here...

And in the meantime, why don't you take a copy of my book.

And try

the noodles; they're delicious.

Do you remember

that Fourth of July party we had at Corey Jessup's ranch?

Part of it.

I was pretty stoned that night.

Everybody was stoned that night.

Oh, and Corey had

the most incredible display of fireworks

and they just went on for hours.

JACKIE: What I remember is falling asleep on the couch

and not waking up till August.

(chuckles)

Listen, when Corey said

he was taking you out for French food,

it meant bring along your passport.

You mean he'd fly you to France?

OH, 10, 15 people at a time on his Lear jet.

No?!

And I'm not sure

which was higher, the plane or the passengers.

(chuckles)

Oh, we had some good times, huh?

Yeah, we did...

and more bad times than I care to remember.

Yeah.

Well, I have to confess,

every now and then, I still do an occasional toot,

but only on special occasions.

Not me.

I'm completely clean.

I'm not Jackie Taylor anymore.

I'm Mrs. Mel Silver.

I just had a new baby and I feel better than I have in years.

That's great, Jackie.

Well, listen, I better get going

before they realize that I'm gone.

Hey, thanks for the fruit basket.

Oh, you're welcome.

And it was nice talking to you, Cindy.

You, too, Babette.

Listen, maybe we could all get together for a drink later.

That'd be fun. Great.

Great, I'll give you a call. Bye.

See ya.

(sighs)

(chuckling): Boy, sounds like some wild times.

Yeah, they were.

Do you remember the first time we met?

You caught me doing lines

in the bathroom?

Yes, I remember.

I'm so embarrassed now, I could die.

Why?

I mean, you have changed so much since then.

I mean, you're a completely different person.

I really admire you for that.

Thank you.

Honestly, Kelly,

don't you think you're jumping to conclusions?

No, I mean, why else

would she bring up a fruit basket?

Because she was trying to be friendly?

I don't buy it.

But how do you know Babette is still a dealer?

It's just a vibe I get.

Well, even is she is, that doesn't mean Jackie's

going to get high again, does it?

Look, Kelly, if this is really bothering you,

you should definitely talk to your mother

about it.

But can we do it after our facials?

Why don't you just go without me?

Kelly?

(sighs) Okay, um, look,

I'll meet you in the locker room in ten minutes, okay?

Okay.

Hi, guys.

Ooh, what smells?

(chuckles) Seaweed body wraps.

Sounds slimy.

I feel like a piece of sushi.

Actually, I've never had sushi,

but I imagine this is what sushi feels like.

(both laugh)

So anyway, my friend Mandy had been going out

with this married man for, like, almost three months,

till her best friend Sheila got her claws in him.

Anyway, he was this big-time Beverly Hills oral surgeon

with a new wife and new baby.

Uh, Dr. Silver.

Mel Silver. You ever hear of him?

Mm-mm.

And so, he and she have been going out for, like,

you know, two, three months on the sly,

and you just know a guy like that's gonna do

the same thing again and again and again.

BRANDON (with Irish brogue): Ah, Davey, me boy.

Davey, me boy.

You can't be coy, with Davey, me boy.

Brandon, do you think I can get a large pot of coffee?

Sure you could, young Davey,

but not from me, laddie.

My shift is over, and I'm leavin'.

Nadine, would you bring this young man a pot of coffee?

(in regular voice): Later, bro.

Thanks, man.

Studying?

No, I'm just reading.

For fun?

Strange, but true.

You don't look so good, Silver.

Yeah, well I didn't get all my beauty sleep.

Young Erin was up crying all night.

Is she sick?

No, she misses her "ma-ma."

What about her "Da-da?"

Last night was the poker game.

Ah. How convenient.

Yeah, well, he deserves a night off for a change.

He's one of those workaholics, you know?

Really? Yeah.

Mel's theory is: You spend the long hours to make the big bucks

so you can spoil all the women in your life.

Why do you think he and Kelly get along so well?

(sighs)

(calculator whirring)

(sighs)

(smacks through teeth)

Honey, I'm home.

I'm in here, babe.

Did you have a good day?

I did, until a nasty clerk at Saks tore up my credit card.

She insisted we were a couple of months late paying the bill.

How can she say something like that?

Well, Kel,

I need to talk to you about something.

(clears throat)

Okay, but first, close your eyes.

Kelly... Come on, close them.

Pretty please.

(bag rustling)

Ta-dah!

Isn't it divine?

I bought it for our next vacation.

What vacation?

Well, President's Day is coming up,

and since we always go somewhere, I told Donna

and David we'd go skiing with them

in St. Moritz for the weekend.

Uh, I don't really think that's a very good idea.

Oh, please.

Not this year.

Oh...

Come on, baby, don't look at me like that.

Plea-- look... here.

We were just in Paris a month ago.

Now, can't we just stay home, you know?

Quietly for the weekend, just you and I

in our little love nest-- what do you think?

Dylan, why would we stay here when we can go to Hawaii?!

That's not a good idea, Kel.

Why not?

We're broke.

(laughs) What'd you say?

There's no more money in the bank.

How did that happen?

(wry chuckle) We spent it all.

Oh, my God!

Dylan, oh, my God, how are we going to live?

What are we going to do?

Kel, it-it's going to be okay.

I mean, don't, don't get upset.

How can you say that we have no money?

Look, Kel, I knew you were going to be upset.

I knew it, so...

I took it upon myself to go out

and get you a little something to make you feel better.

Oh, Dylan, you have got to be the sweetest little thing

in the whole world. Yeah.

Mm. Do you like it?

I love it.

It's an emerald.

That's Brenda Walsh's birthstone.

(echoing): You're still carrying a torch for her, aren't you, aren't you?

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ And there's no one else to blame ♪

Nat! Nat!

How much do I owe you?

I don't know; I'll put it on your tab.

Oh, no. No tabs, man, I'm paying cash.

♪ And there is no mistake... ♪

I'm really sorry I'm late, Bren.

Did you get a whiff of Donna and Andrea

in their sea-scum body wraps?

I strongly suggest you don't stand downwind

from them for a few days.

What's the matter?

Kelly, you know the masseuse with the big mouth?

Yeah.

Well, I was in there,

and she was talking about her friend Mandy again.

You know,

the one who was having the affair with the married man?

Bren, you said yourself the girl is an air-head.

Dylan's not going to get in the way of our friendship again,

no matter... Kelly, let me finish.

Sorry.

This time she said who the married man was.

Well, who is it?

It's Mel.

What?

Dr. Mel Silver, oral surgeon

from Beverly Hills.

Look, I don't know

if it's true, but that's what she said.

This can't be happening.

This has got to be a mistake.

(phone ringing)

Hello.

Hi, David, it's me.

Hey, I was just talking about you with Dylan

down at the Peach Pit-- how's it going?

Not so good. Is your dad there?

Uh, no, I haven't seen him.

Why, what's up?

Hopefully nothing.

Did you talk to him this morning?

Well, no, he left for work before I got up.

Well... did you see him last night?

Kelly, what's wrong?

Listen, just answer the question.

I will tell you in a minute, okay?

Well, uh, yeah, I saw him.

He was in a good mood.

We played with Erin, and then, uh, he left for his poker game.

So you don't know if he came home last night?

I'm sure he did.

But you don't know for sure.

Well, no, I didn't do a bed check, if that's what you mean.

Listen, do me a favor, ask Rosa if she's seen him yet today.

That was like pulling teeth.

Well, his Dad is a dentist.

What'd she say?

He didn't come last night... or the night before.

Hey, Pop.

Hey, how you doing, Mr. Walsh?

Hi, guys. How are you doing?

Good, good. We just came by to grab a little food

before we got to the Stallone movie preview.

That sounds like a plan.

Have a good time.

Hey, Mr. Walsh, what book are you reading?

Book? Uh...

Oh! Oh, you mean this book?

Oh, no, I'm not really reading it.

Uh, one of my clients wrote it.

That's the only reason I have it.

Any good?

Well, like I said, I'm not really reading it.

I'm just sort of skimming it, that's all.

What's it called?

Why do you want to know?

Dad, what's the big deal?

It's called...

Mid-life... Now What?

If you make one crack,

I'm giving the Mustang to Brenda.

I didn't say anything, not a word.

Enjoy the movie.

So how was work today?

(both laughing)

(chatter, laughter)

CINDY: Cher comes here?

She's a regular.

So is Michelle Phillips and Loni Andersen.

So, in other words, if we make these weekends

part of our lives, we too can end up

looking glamorous and eternally youthful.

(all laughing)

Well, sweetheart, I don't think I'd go that far.

15 years.

Hi, sweetie, you want to join us?

No. Can I talk to you for a second?

Sure. Is everything okay?

Yeah.

Will you excuse me? Mm-hmm.

Oh, what a beautiful night.

You know, I am glad that you pulled me out of there.

This was supposed to be a mother/daughter weekend,

and I feel like we haven't spent any time together.

I miss you.

You were drinking.

Is that why we're out here?

No.

Because I'm fine.

I had a little sip of white wine,

and that's my limit.

You don't have to worry about your old mom.

Okay.

Does Babette still do coke?

She says she still dabbles every now and then.

On special occasions.

Do you "dabble?"

Kelly!

Mom, just tell me the truth, please.

No. You know I don't. Now, what is this about?

(sighs)

I have something to tell you,

and if you were ever going to start again,

this would be the thing

that might push you over the edge.

Honey, what's wrong?

Let's go sit down.

All right.

I don't know how to say it, but I have to say it.

Well, just say it.

It's about Mel.

♪ ♪

I don't think so.

Oh, last year's party... (mutters)

(laughs)

I'll visit. I'll catch up with you later, okay?

Okay.

Well, contemplating a midnight swim?

Ooh, make that 1:00 a.m.

You're kidding.

I guess I'd better get up to my room.

Hey, what's wrong?

Oh, I couldn't sleep.

I got some bad news from home.

What happened?

Oh, God.

It's such a cliché.

Come on, you can trust me.

(voice breaking): I found out my husband is having an affair.

Oh, Jackie.

And you with a new baby.

I'm so sorry.

I really am.

(sighs)

We weren't even married a year.

I should have seen it coming.

I mean, he constantly cheated on his ex.

It was always with the...

dental assistant or a hygienist.

(sighs)

He swore he'd changed.

He swore with me he'd be different.

Oh!

How could I have been so naive?

Don't beat yourself up, Jackie.

None of this was your fault-- not one bit of it.

Now, I have to figure out what to do with my life.

May I make a suggestion?

Don't make any major decisions in a depressed state of mind.

Did you learn that from a fortune cookie?

Come on.

You look like you could use a little pick-me-up.

(sighs)

And I know just the place to get it.

(door opening)

(door closes)

(sighs)

Mom?

Hi, honey.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you.

It's quarter to 2:00.

Where have you been?

Well...

I couldn't sleep,

so I went down to the pool

to think things out,

and I ran into Babette,

and I ended up in her room

with a half a gram of cocaine.

Mom.

It was tempting.

It was really tempting.

But...

(exhales loudly)

...that's not the way I'm going to deal with this.

That's not the way I'm going to deal

with anything ever again.

So I thanked her... and I left.

I'm so proud of you.

Yeah, me, too.

You know what?

What?

Tonight I realized...

that no matter what the future brings...

I'm glad I met Mel,

'cause look what I got out of it.

Beautiful baby.

What more could a girl from Ohio ask for?

Well, what's going to happen?

I don't know.

(sighs)

I'll have to talk to Mel.

That's for sure.

Maybe we can work through this.

Maybe we can't.

We'll just have to see.

Why do men cheat?

Why isn't one woman ever enough?

I don't know.

Maybe it's genetic.

(sighs)

(sighs)

Mr. Walsh?

Dottie.

Hi. Um, I know I wasn't supposed to be here till 10:00,

but I've been thinking about you

since I woke up this morning, and...

And, well, we need to talk.

Okay.

I don't know where to begin.

It's... it's so awkward.

No.

That's okay.

Okay, then I'll just come out and say it.

Maybe it's because your wife's out of town...

...or because we've been working

so closely together these last few weeks,

but you have to be the most brilliant

and compassionate man I've ever met.

And I don't care how old you are.

I find you incredibly sexy,

and I want to make love to you in the worst way

right here, right now.

Dottie, please.

We shouldn't be doing this.

I'm a happily married man.

Dottie... please.

You know I love Cindy.

Oh, my God, this is like a fantasy come true.

Of course, it's a fantasy, you old horn dog.

Haven't you finished reading that book yet?

DOTTIE: Mr. Walsh?

Mr. Walsh?

Dottie.

Hi. Um, I know

I wasn't supposed to be here till 10:00, but I've been

thinking about you all morning, and

well, we need to talk.

Okay.

I don't know where to begin.

It's so awkward.

Awkward?

Okay, then, I'll just come out and say it. Dottie,

we shouldn't be doing this.

I think you'd better find yourself a new secretary.

What?!

My boyfriend and I are moving back to Florida

next week. Boyfriend?

He got down

on his knees and proposed last night.

We're getting married!

Congratulations.

(sighs)

(indistinct chatter)

(elevator bell dings)

You guys, look what I have here. Ha!

DONNA: Oh, I love free samples.

Now, the pink caps are for normal to dry skin.

Here, try this one.

Andrea, I think you have a year supply

for each of us there.

Well, it's important to be PH balanced.

Mom, who was on the phone?

That was just your father.

He called to say he loved me.

Oh.

Well, after 20 years,

it's nice to know that he still cares.

Uh, need any help?

No, I'm all through.

How are you doing?

Are-are you going to be all right?

I think so.

I know what I have to do.

And it's not going to be easy, but

I'm prepared to deal with whatever comes.

(sighs)

Jackie, I just feel like such a fool.

I mean, here I've been suspicious

of Jim all weekend, and,

uh, now you have to deal with the real thing.

That would look good on you.

Nah.

Well, what about something in red?

It's a fabulous color for you.

I guess I'm just not

in a shopping mood today. Look, Kelly,

I know you're worried about your mom, but she's a strong woman.

You know that, don't you?

Yeah, I do.

Okay, let's go.

Okay.

(sports playing on TV) Thank you, thank you.

Thank you. I don't understand why you're rooting against Minnesota.

Hey, I don't want them to lose.

I just don't want them to beat the spread.

Oh, no. God forbid.

Hey, Dylan, maybe if you had a little more interest in sports,

you wouldn't have spent all weekend

worrying about your girl problems.

Thank you, Dr. Freud.

(phone ringing)

Hey, if that's Brenda and Kelly,

tell them to stop over.

Yeah?

How much money you got on this game?

DYLAN: What?!

Hey, w...

Turn on channel six, man.

But there's under a minute left in the game.

Turn it on!

SPORTSCASTER: In the fourth quarter, with just under...

Convicted financier, Jack McKay, is being released

from federal prison

after having served just two years of a

ten year sentence.

His early parole has caught most people

in both the business and the law enforcement community

by surprise.

The reaction has been mixed...

How come you didn't tell us about this, man?

I didn't know.

Right now, let's take a look at a story our Lifestyle editor

has found in the Valley.

We'll be back with that right after weather.