Original subtitles

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WOMAN (over P.A.): Dr. Coniff, Emergency Room One, stat.

Dr. Coniff, Emergency Room One, stat.

DAVID: There were hundreds of babies born in Los Angeles County

two days ago.

Black babies, white babies, big babies and small babies.

But only one baby so special that she'll go through life

with the name...

Damn it, lady, get out of there!

(sighs)

The nurse ruined my shot again.

I gotta do it one more time.

David, visiting hours were over an hour ago.

Mel and Jackie are going to be bringing it home

first thing tomorrow morning.

It's not like you're not gonna

get another chance to see it pooping and drooling

for the rest of its life.

Don't worry, Erin,

your sister's just jealous 'cause you're so gorgeous.

I didn't say you weren't gorgeous.

The truth is, at this point,

the only way anybody can tell it's a girl

is because they wrap her in a pink blanket.

I got news for you, Kel.

That's not the only way they can tell it's a girl.

You are so disgusting.

(chuckles)

See you at home, kiddo.

Welcome to the world.

JIM: She's ungrateful,

she's deceitful, she's irrational.

What we've got here is a manipulative little girl,

who is spoiled rotten to the core.

I can't listen to this anymore.

Honey, I don't blame you.

If anything, I blame myself.

All those years, she was daddy's "little bunnyfish."

Whatever Brenda want, Brenda got.

Kisses and hugs.

No questions asked.

No wonder she has no respect

for parental authority.

She's out of control! Out of control!

No, Jim, she is in perfect control,

and she's been ever since you decided

to go to war with Dylan McKay.

Are you forgetting how many times she has blatantly lied

to us in the last six weeks?

Of course not, but stomping around the house threatening

to use "the full extent of the law",

that's not going to bring our family back together again.

I just can't sit back and do nothing, knowing

that she shacked up with that guy.

Honey, I know how you feel.

What do you propose we do about it?

I mean, lock her in a chastity belt,

keep her in her room until we're ready to become grandparents?

For starters.

Oh, I haven't slept in two days.

Look, why don't we just hold out for another day or two

and see what happens?

And if that doesn't work?

Then we wring her neck.

I'm going out.

What?

Could you turn off the vacuum cleaner?

I can't hear you.

Let me turn off the vacuum cleaner.

Sorry. What were you saying?

Bren, I appreciate you cleaning up around here, I really do,

but could you wait until I'm gone?

Sure.

Are you going to the beach?

Yeah, maybe.

When do you think you'll be back?

Tonight. Don't, don't worry about it.

I'm not worried. It's just that I don't know

if you want me to fix dinner.

It's a little hard to start thinking about dinner

when you haven't even had breakfast yet.

I'm sorry. Do you want me to fix you something?

Some eggs? Toast, cereal?

Bren, I'm not hungry,

okay?

(vacuum cleaner starts)

(vacuum cleaner stops)

Hey, I'm sorry.

Even on good days,

I can be a bear in the morning.

But I do love you, you know that.

You'd better not be saying that

just to make me feel better.

I'll be back tonight.

Oh, um,

we are in desperate need of some laundry detergent.

Can you pick some up at the market

on your way back, please?

No problem.

And while you're at the store,

you might as well get something for dinner.

Some fish, chicken... whatever you want.

Doesn't matter. I'll be here.

Have a nice day.

They stuck you with a temperamental lounge chair, huh?

Yeah, you'd think The Beverly Hills Beach Club

could afford one what works.

No, that'd be too easy.

(chuckles)

This puppy's worthless, but if you go over there,

I think you'll find what I truly believe

is the best spot on the beach.

Really? Why is it so good?

Well, great breeze off the ocean, rays all day,

and it just happens to be right next to where I'm sitting.

I'm Steve Sanders.

Hi, Steve. I'm Rorie.

Yes, you are.

This is so weird.

This is just like nostalgia.

I mean, this is our very last

farewell-to-the-Beach-Club- burger.

Donna, what are you talking about?

We're not leaving for three days.

I know. I just have so much packing to do.

You haven't packed yet?

Maybe I shouldn't be going.

Donna, are you getting cold feet again?

Kelly, I don't even speak French.

So you'll take a dictionary.

It's no big deal.

I gotta agree. Studying in Paris

for six weeks is a tres cool concept.

I know, I'm just going to miss you so much.

Excuse me.

Um, are Brenda and her parents back on speaking terms yet?

Hardly. Why?

Hello, Mrs. Walsh.

Congratulations.

Oh, thank you.

So what's it like having a new little person in the house?

Great.

It's pretty cool.

I think we'll let her stay around for awhile.

How's your mom doing?

Well, she's tired.

But then, I guess you know what it's like having kids.

Yes, in fact, I do.

Uh, listen,

have any of you seen Brandon?

No.

Excuse me, they said somebody got locked out of their cabana?

I think I'll die of embarrassment now.

Oh, the shame of it.

Can you ever forgive me?

It'll be tough,

but I think I can rise to the occasion.

Steve, want to hear a poem I just wrote?

Do I have a choice? Nope.

Here it is.

"Don't look now, the summer has begun.

The babes have landed, and guess who just landed one?"

All right!

Stud mania out of control.

Well, guess who else met a girl today?

You?

Earthquake material.

Must be contagious.

Ah! I hope not.

I'm going out with her tonight.

You work fast.

I've got to; she's only going to

be in L.A. for a week.

Mine, too. She's going back to Florida.

Visiting her Aunt Betty in Brentwood.

Is that the girl you asked out?

Yeah.

Me, too.

No.

Yes!

Steve, now settle.

Brandon, I met her first.

Steve, it's customary in America

for women to have some sort of say

over who they're gonna go out with, is it not?

Fine. She's yours.

You go out with her.

Steve, what's your problem?

Brandon, I'm not going

to compete with you over a girl.

I know what she's going to say.

I've been down that road before. She's going to say...

Hey, Steve, how ya doin'?

See ya in a couple of hours.

Twins?!

Could this be?

Twins. You jerk.

What can I say, man, other than "Wanna double date?"

(laughs)

Yeah!

ANDREA: So the rage at camp is to come up with these "hip" nicknames.

And we got Maya Papaya, Briana Banana

and Heather The Feather.

So what's your "hip" nickname?

Andrea Schmandria.

(chuckles)

Lovely. So what would mine be,

like, uh, Landon Brandon?

"Walsh Rarebit."

Ooh, et tu, Brute?

Oh, yes, et tu. Ciao-ciao.

'Night, chief.

Bye.

Mom.

Oh, fancy meeting you here.

Yeah, guess I just don't think

of you and Dad as members yet, sorry.

Well, that's okay, neither do we.

(chuckles)

So when's Dad finally going

to show his ugly mug down here?

Oh, not until we find a way

to break this impasse with Brenda.

Have you heard from her?

No, but I think that's mostly because

she doesn't want me to get stuck

in the middle of it again.

I understand.

I just wonder how she'd react

if you did get in touch with her.

I mean, on your own, of course.

I'm just curious what she'd say.

I don't know, Mom.

Want me to call her up and find out?

Or you could go over there in person

to see how she's doing-- I mean, if you want.

And put myself right back in the middle of it?

I'm not asking you to spy on her, Brandon,

but something's got to give.

Mom, you know your tan sports sack,

the one you always travel with?

I'm familiar with it.

Is it okay

if Donna borrows it for the summer.

Why not? I'm not going anywhere.

It's all set.

Okay, I'll bring it by tomorrow.

Donna, stop worrying.

Everything will be okay.

I love you, too.

Good-bye.

Geez, talk about Miss Jitters.

Is she scared of flying?

Scared of packing.

(chuckles)

Oh, my God, you're nursing.

Well, we're trying.

That's... so maternal instinct.

That's me.

I'm mama.

Mama.

And this is Kelly.

Can you say Kelly?

By the time she gets back from Paris,

you'll be such a big girl, she won't even know you.

Yes, you will.

Do you want to hold her?

Is it okay?

Sure, she won't bite.

She doesn't have any teeth.

Just be sure and hold her head up for support.

Okay.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

You got it. There you go.

There you go.

Hey, there, munchkin.

Oh, she smells like toast.

Right out of the oven.

Hi, baby.

I'm your sister.

(chuckles)

Can you say Kelly?

Can you?

You want half this burrito, babe?

It's really good.

I'm fine, thank you. You sure?

Yeah, I'm not really into frozen lard

and hydrogenated bean oil.

Did you or did you not tell me I could get

anything I wanted? I also said

we desperately needed to do a load of laundry.

If you were so desperate, why didn't you go to the store?

In what car, Dylan? You were gone all day!

You should've walked! You know,

I would've walked, but you told me you were going.

I went! Oh, and just forgot to get everything that we needed!

(doorbell rings)

Look, Dylan... Listen, Brenda...

(doorbell rings)

Hi, guys.

Did I come at a bad time?

No, not at all.

Yeah, come on in.

Thanks.

I was just on my way to the store.

I got to get some detergent.

But I'll be back.

Are you hungry?

Yeah, what do you got?

Oh, there's a killer bean burrito in the freezer in there.

Cool.

Later, chief.

(exhales): Long time, no see.

How you doing? Couldn't be better.

BRANDON: So she's looking me straight in the eye, telling me

how wonderful everything is,

and I can tell she's lying through her teeth.

But when I press her on it,

she gets up and starts washing the dishes.

You say she and Dylan are fighting?

Well, not while I was there,

but I could tell the vibes weren't so hot.

How do you know that?

Without compromising your neutrality.

Let me put it to you this way, Dad.

Dylan's sleeping by himself on the couch.

(sighs): Thank God for small favors.

CINDY: Well, did she ask

how your father and I are doing?

Uh, no, not really.

She said something about digging in her heels,

but I think if you held out an olive branch

she might just come around.

And do what, forgive us

for all the terrible things we haven't done?

Come on, Brandon, from what you're saying,

to convince Brenda to come around

will take a court injunction or a miracle worker.

(groans softly)

KELLY: Hi, Mom.

Kelly...

what are you doing?

Well, Erin started crying,

so I thought I should change her diaper.

Well, honey, that was very sweet of you.

I'm sorry she woke you up.

No, she didn't wake me; I wasn't sleeping.

What have you been doing

for the last six hours?

Watching her.

But when I was rocking her and she looked up at me...

it was, like, I started thinking,

this is the miracle of life.

I'm holding the perfect essence of the universe

right here in my arms.

This is getting a little philosophical

for 4:30 in the morning.

No, just hear me out, because what really blows me away...

Look at her.

She looks exactly like me.

Yes, she does.

(laughs)

And that's because she's my sister,

and you're my mom.

This is my family...

and I'm a major part of it for the very first time in my life,

and I don't want to miss any part of that.

And that's why...

I'm not going away for the summer.

Kelly, what are you saying?

I've already been to Europe three times.

I don't need to be sent away to find myself.

What I need to do is stay here...

where I belong.

Huh?

You think so, too, don't you?

(laughs)

(TV playing)

(knock at door) (doorbell rings)

Bonjour, travelers.

(sobbing) Oh, Donna...

Donna, what's wrong?

Her mom's making her go to Paris.

(Donna snorting, sobbing)

Can we come in?

Stop crying.

I'm not blaming, Kelly-- I just wish

she would've blown off the trip while my mom

still could've gotten her deposit back.

It's not like I did it on purpose. I know.

I think it's great that you're bonding

with this new life force, but are you telling me

this has nothing to do with Jake? No.

If anything, I'm trying to put him out of my head.

(groans): I can't spend a whole summer in Paris by myself.

Donna, you'll meet people, you'll make friends.

I mean, you'll be in Paris.

La ville de la lumiere.

La ville des jolies poules.

Well, it's easy for you to say-- you speak French.

Un petit peu.

I speak nothing.

Donna, it's okay. It's an immersion program.

You'll be parlez-vous-ing before you know it.

Are you still gonna help me pack?

I promised you I would.

Yeah, you also promised to be my roommate for the summer.

Donna, I'm sorry.

How could I have known that I would be so connected

by the sensation of finally being part of a real family,

you know?

So... what are you doing after tomorrow?

Oh, yeah, right, I'll be a stowaway

in one of your suitcases.

Oh, come on, it would be so much fun

to be with you in Paris.

Yeah, but since I'm not talking to my parents,

it'd be kind of hard to hit them up

for the money to send me there.

Yeah, and plus you'd have to leave Dylan.

What about me? I'm leaving David.

Oh, this is different.

Brenda and Dylan are living together.

They're making a statement, a beautiful statement.

How's it going?

It couldn't be better.

DYLAN: I'm telling you Brandon, she's making me crazy.

I kind of got that last night.

Oh, you don't know the half of it.

Dylan, to be truthful, I don't want to know the half of it.

I don't want to know any of it.

I mean, it's one thing if you're putting down my old man, but...

Aah, when it comes to my sister, I'd still want to hear it.

Oh, no, don't get me wrong, man, I mean, I love your sister,

but was she always so into ironing everything?

(laughs): Only when she gets depressed.

Oh, that's terrific.

Look at it this way-- you could always just ship her home.

No, I can't, man-- there's a major principle involved here.

And what principle is that, Dylan?

Misery loves company?

Hi, Mom.

(chuckles): Brenda.

Kelly said that you were at the Beach Club yesterday

asking about me, so I just wanted to stop in

and assure you that I'm alive and well,

and despite our recent fallout with you guys,

that... everything's great

and I'm very happy about my decision.

Which decision is that?

To be with Dylan in the open.

Ah.

As a matter of fact, I'm happier than I've been

in a long time, probably my whole life.

(chuckles): Well...

um, I'm glad you're happy.

I am.

I'm glad.

It's not always easy, though.

Wha-What's not easy?

You know, life, day-to-day routine.

You know, the place looks the same.

Feels different, though-- I guess that's because I'm not here anymore.

You're here now.

I can't stay, Mom, not under his rules.

Not until he can show me a little respect.

Respect is something you earn, Brenda.

Uh, listen, before I forget, I got a couple of cassettes

on how to speak French for Kelly and Donna.

Oh, just Donna.

Kelly decided to stay in town with Jackie and baby Erin for the summer.

Really?

(chuckles): Yeah, can you believe it?

I mean, I'm sure the baby is cute and all, but if it were me,

I would give anything to be able to study in Paris.

Well, I hope you know what you're doing with Dylan, honey.

Uh, just lock the door when you leave.

Wh-Where are you going?

The Beach Club. Have a nice day.

Brandon. Hey, man, just in time to grab your own wheels.

The girls aren't here yet. Yeah.

Um, there's a little proposition I'd like to float by you

before they get here. Why do I have a feeling I'm not gonna like this?

Oh, you're gonna love it-- it's convincing them

to go along with it, that's gonna be the tricky part.

Go on. Okay.

Today we do everything like we planned.

I'm with Rorie, you're with Claire,

we hang out, we go to the movies.

But tomorrow,

we pull the old switcheroo.

I'll be with Claire, and you be with Rorie.

How does that grab you? I don't know, Steve.

Brandon, come on, this is pure Fantasy Island time.

Two for the price of one.

That way, if one of them turns out to be a dud,

neither one of us has to suffer.

Wait a second,

didn't you go out with Rorie last night.

Yeah.

What, was it a total disaster?

Oh, no, no, no. She's a great girl.

She's tons of fun.

Uh-huh. But...?

But we spent most of the evening in the emergency room at Cedars.

She thought she had food poisoning.

They didn't pump her stomach or anything,

but what a way to get acquainted.

Who the hell goes to a crab house and orders squid?

You know?

Brandon, you shouldn't be laughing.

This wouldn't be that funny if it happened to you.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't help it.

You know what, you got a real mean streak.

You know that, don't you?

I'm sorry.

So, how's the patient?

Well, she's more embarrassed than anything else,

but... she'll be fine.

She just has to lie down for a while.

Well, I'll lie down with her

if it'll make her feel better.

(laughs): I bet you would.

Hey, listen, are you hungry? Starving.

Order me something yummy, and I'll meet you up on the deck.

That's cool.

You are a lucky guy, Walsh.

You meet a girl, and immediately you get Karma for life.

I meet a beautiful damsel in distress,

and it turns out I'm the one in distress.

Steve, Rorie's cool-- she's just having a bad run of luck.

Being in the sun was too intense for her. Want to trade?

Don't be a jerk, all right?

We're all gonna go out tonight,

we're gonna have a great time.

You'll see-- everything'll be fine. Yeah.

JIM: She was here?

She was in this house, and you didn't lock her in the basement?

We don't have a basement, Jim. Well, we should get one.

Look, I felt the same way you do

until it dawned on me why she came over here.

She came here to raid our refrigerator,

and bring more clothes back to Dylan's house.

She was looking for a way to make peace, Jim.

How can you say that?

Did she apologize?

Did she express any concern for our feelings?

Did she do anything other than

insult you and announce that she will never

live in this house under our rules again?

Fine, if all you want to do is escalate the battle,

then by all means, call your lawyer friend

and go on the attack.

But if you have any interest in regaining the love

and loyalty of the only daughter

we're going to have in this lifetime,

then I strongly suggest that you sit down

and listen to what I have to say for a change.

I'm listening.

Hallelujah.

Was I supposed to bring home dinner?

I don't know. Were you?

Who cares, right?

I care.

Yeah, you do.

Do you need me to go to the market?

Dylan, I just want you to hold me.

Oh, baby.

What are we doing?

I don't know.

But whatever we're doing, Bren, we gotta stop.

I mean, we gotta stop pretending that we're married

or we're going to get a divorce.

I saw my mother today.

Where?

My house.

Then she had to go and I was there all by myself,

so I went upstairs and sat in my father's chair.

For the first time, I starting thinking

that maybe my family would've been better off

if we had just stayed in Minnesota.

And then I started thinking about you.

Hmm, Brenda, just, just one thing.

STEVE: Well, you're feeling much better, aren't you?

You slept it off most of the day.

The swelling's down.

You haven't eaten shellfish in 24 hours.

Look, I don't know,

I honestly think we may have turned a corner here.

What? What's wrong?

I'm having an attack of sinusitis.

What's wrong?

It's from the trustees of the Estate of Dylan McKay.

It's a summons to appear in your father's office tomorrow.

12:00.

What for?

He's going after my money.

He's informed the bank

that he's considering freezing my accounts.

What does that mean?

That means he's playing for keeps.

Brandon, what's fair is fair.

And what's stupid and insulting is stupid and insulting.

Okay, now we all know who got the stupid one.

Steve, if you want to go out with Claire,

just call her up and ask her.

I don't care. I'm not going to make a stink

about some girl who's going back to Florida in a couple days.

But don't make me go out with Rorie

just because you got some fantasy thing about twins.

What if Rorie wants to go out with you?

I guarantee you something,

if you call Rorie and tell her

you want to pull a little switcheroo,

her and her sister will be so insulted,

neither of them will ever talk to us again.

You want to bet?

6:30 going once...

6:30 going twice...

Sold to the cute girl from Ft. Lauderdale.

Steve, get off the phone.

Right, so I'll see you then.

And please tell Rorie I'm glad she's feeling better.

Yeah, you never know, she and Brandon just may hit it off.

Steve.

I'll see you around 6:30.

Bye, babe.

Refresh my memory.

Did we have a little wager on this deal here?

Tell me, how'd you know they'd go for it?

Even when you were with Claire,

I sensed there was some chemistry going on between us.

I would've said something, but I didn't want to get into

a competitive thing with you over some girl.

Oh, no. Not you, Steve.

6:30.

Mind if I join you?

Go ahead.

Donna, when are you going to Europe?

Day after tomorrow.

Well, are you all packed?

Oh, my God!

What did I say?

You have to come with me, David.

That's all there is to it.

Donna, I'd get on that plane in a minute if I could,

but if there's any hope of me graduating early,

I've got to go to summer school

and get my math and science requirements

out of the way. I really feel for you, Donna.

I can't believe Kelly's gonna shine on Europe

just so she can stay home and moon over some baby.

She's really flipped out.

No, she hasn't.

I mean, Paris is Paris,

but you have to admit, it's an awfully cute baby.

Yeah, my mom's breast feeding.

It's hard to do all the feedings

without getting sleep deprivation,

so I give her her bottle on the 4:00 shift.

4:00 in the morning?

Yeah, but it's worth it.

I get to spend a lot of private time with the baby.

Bren, you have to meet her.

She is so alert,

so precious.

I could just eat her up.

Well, I can't wait.

Look, I've got to get off.

Well, call me later.

I will.

Well, here goes nothing.

No, here goes a lot.

Look, Dylan, the fact that

you're going to my father's office

to stand up for what's right,

means more to me than you'll ever know.

Brenda, your father is my trustee.

He sent me a summons.

It's not like I have a choice.

But if you did have a choice,

I know you'd be there for me.

JIM: It's come to the attention

of the trust that you are currently

co-habitating with a minor.

And you are aware that she's under 18.

All right.

As the officer sworn to protect and maintain

the integrity of your estate,

it is my obligation not to accept any conduct on your part

which puts the estate at risk...

and by harboring a minor,

you are technically committing statutory rape.

I knew it.

Therefore, according to the terms of the trust,

I am left with no choice but to impound

any and all assets of the trust

until you cease and desist

in engaging in any activity

which is not in the best interest of the trust.

Come on, man, you got a lot of other options

instead of going after me.

You just choose not to acknowledge them.

It is not my fault

that you can't communicate with your daughter.

You're right.

It's not your fault.

It's your problem.

(sighs)

What was I supposed to do?

She showed up on my doorstep.

I didn't want her to move in.

I knew it was a mistake.

I knew it'd make you crazy.

And the fact is, my place just isn't all that big.

Things are getting a little bit cramped

over there, huh, Dylan?

Yeah, yeah, they are.

All right.

Here's the deal.

Brenda is going to be offered the chance

to study in Paris this summer.

If you don't stand in her way,

but instead help Cindy and me to convince her

that it's in her best interest to go,

well, everyone's problem might just go away.

That's blackmail.

We choose to think of it as...

"creative parenting."

Steve.

Brandon, get dressed.

The girls will be here any minute.

That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

As a self-respecting twin,

I can't go through with this switcheroo thing.

Well, it's a little late

for that now, Brandon.

Look, why don't you go out with Claire

and have a good time.

I'll break it with Rorie.

Whatever.

I just never figured you for a PG-13 kind of guy.

Rorie.

Uh, Brandon's over there.

Hi, Rorie.

Hi, Brandon.

Listen, this is going to sound absurd but...

You're not Rorie.

Shh...!

Someone's got to teach him a lesson.

Well, we can go to dinner now

or we could go upstairs to my mom's cabana

and watch the sunset.

It's a killer view.

What do you say, Claire?

Let's go for it, big boy.

Hey.

Why didn't you call?

I've been climbing the walls.

After the meeting, I just got in the car and drove.

It was that bad, huh?

Actually, no.

I just needed some time

to sort a few things out.

(speed dialing)

You know your red dress?

Yeah.

Put it on.

We're going out?

Uh-huh, dinner at your parent's house.

We have to be there in about a half an hour.

No way, Dylan. Not with the way my father's

been treating us. Brenda.

Dylan, no.

And with the way he's been hassling you about your estate,

I don't want to go over there ever again, and that's that.

No, Bren, that is not that.

Wait till you taste my patented mucho marvelous

mango margaritas.

Hey, if you're gonna be drinking,

I don't want to be driving with you.

Well, in that case,

we'll just have to stay here all night.

Oh, that ought to be interesting.

I've wanted to do that since I first saw you.

Hey, didn't you say the same thing to Rorie

the night you took her to the crab house?

No, no, Rorie and I had nothing going on.

She's a good sport...

she's boring.

You think so?

Yeah.

She's not nearly as hot or sexy as you are.

Let's do it.

Let's go for it.

Come on, Claire.

I'm not Claire, you dumb guy, I'm Rorie.

What?

You are such a slimy seal,

you couldn't even tell the difference.

(doorbell rings)

Good timing!

Just took the fish off the grill.

I'm not hungry.

Well, why don't you come in anyway?

Fine. As long as you both understand

the only reason I'm here is because Dylan asked me.

It's nice to see you, too, sweetie.

Brenda, can I speak to you for a moment, please?

Look, I know you're angry,

but could you please try not to say something

you're going to regret later?

Fine. I won't say anything at all.

Sauce is

delicious, dear.

Thank you.

It's a pink bearnaise.

It's made with tomatoes and peppers and zucchini.

Sounds very original.

Well, it's from my authentic April in Paris cookbook.

You ought to give it to Donna.

Or to you.

What?

Do you have the envelope?

This is a round-trip ticket to Paris.

Look. Has your name on it.

And I understand there's a lycee on the Rue Des Jardins

that is holding a space for you

under the name of Kelly Taylor.

You're actually sending me to Paris?

Well, it gives us some breathing space,

and a way to start all over again when you get back.

And a clever way to keep me from Dylan.

Brenda...

That's what this is all about, isn't it?

A bribe.

A way to buy my love.

God! This is so Beverly Hills!

I can't believe I'm sitting in the same room with you!

Bren...

Have any other suggestions?

DYLAN: Brenda, you got to calm down.

I'll be fine as soon as I get out of this house.

No. Listen to me.

You're not thinking clearly here.

If I'm not, Dylan, it's because of them.

Look, they are manipulative.

They are arrogant. They are mean.

Well, yeah, They're your parents.

But, Bren, they're not perfect, okay?

So who is?

Listen to you.

I'm being realistic here, okay?

So what if your father's motives are bogus and heavy-handed?

So what if he's trying to set our agenda for us again?

We are talking about a chance to see Paris, okay?

I've been there. You haven't.

And I think that you're making a big mistake

if you let this opportunity

to see that part of the world slip by

just because your father pushes you too hard,

and doesn't know when to let go.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Look, Brenda, it's obvious that you are

as frustrated and angry with us as we are with you.

But you should know that sending you to Paris

was my brilliant idea, not your father's. In fact,

he predicted you'd see it as a ploy

to keep you and Dylan apart.

Are you telling me the thought

never even entered into your mind?

Look, maybe it did, but I just

don't want to see you make the same mistake I did.

Oh, come on, mom.

When you and dad lived together before you got married,

you guys managed to survive.

That's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about...

Look, when I was in college,

I was going to spend my junior year at the Sorbonne in Paris.

And then I met your father,

and I decided to stay in Minnesota.

Well, everyone thought I was a complete fool,

but I insisted I knew exactly what I was doing.

I'd have plenty of time to travel after I graduated.

And, of course, 20 years later,

I've never been to Paris or London

or anywhere, really.

Except Beverly Hills.

So are you saying

I could still go to Paris if I wanted to?

Well, it's probably easier to send you to Paris

than to keep you locked up in the basement

for the rest of the summer.

Especially considering we don't have a basement.

Look, honey, whether you go or not,

we're going to get through this.

We really will.

So you just let us know what you want to do.

Why are things always so complicated?

I don't know. Seems pretty simple to me, really.

You just get on a plane, and have the time of your life.

What about us?

Us? Well, if our relationship can't stand six weeks

without seeing each other, maybe your father's right.

We don't belong together.

Dylan.

Jim.

I understand my daughter's going to be on a plane tomorrow.

You got what you wanted.

Well, I wouldn't go that far.

With Brenda, one learns to distinguish

between what you want and what you get.

You can say that again.

In any event, I think having her go to Paris

might just be the best thing for all of us.

I think it's the best thing for Brenda,

and that's why I went along with it,

and didn't tell her about the little chat

in your office today.

I appreciate that.

In the future,

I would appreciate it,

regardless of what happens with me and Brenda,

or you and Brenda,

if you want something from me,

you don't have to put a loaded gun at my head.

Just ask me.

Okay.

See you around.

Take care of yourself, son.

So Brenda lies to my parents, throws temper tantrums,

runs away to Dylan's house,

and what does she get for her punishment?

She gets to go spend the summer in Paris.

What's wrong with this picture?

Well, it's a strange world, Brandon,

and it's getting stranger every day.

Maybe I should just go get drunk

and crash my car again.

Or, better yet, get a couple of hookers

and have a little orgy in front of Jim and Cindy.

Just make sure they're not twins.

Rorie laid it on pretty thick, huh?

Yeah. I'd say it ranked as one of the top ten

most humiliating moments in my life.

Then I wonder why I'm lonely.

Well, hey, buddy, I guarantee you,

by the end of this summer,

we're going to find you a woman

if it's the last thing we do.

Hi, guys.

Oh, hey, Andrea.

Listen. My parents are having a little bon voyage party

for Brenda 'cause she's going to Paris for the summer and...

Lucky girl! Say good-bye to her for me, okay?

Jay! I'm sorry. I got to go. Bye.

Okay.

Hey. Hi.

Hard to believe

Andrea's still going out with Jay Thurman.

He's the former editor of The Blaze, you know.

I know who he is, Steve. Thanks.

You know what we're going to do

after we find you a girl?

What?

We got to find me one, too.

Obviously, these past few weeks have been very rocky.

Frankly, life's too short to be fighting with you all the time.

I know.

You're going to be a senior next year.

You're going to be going to college.

You have your whole life ahead of you.

It's no fun going through life

without the love and support of your parents.

Believe me, I know what that feels like.

So, when you're in Paris this summer,

I would hope that you'll think long and hard

about the kind of relationship you want to have

with me and your mother and your brother.

If I don't stop talking, you're going to miss the plane.

Thanks, Daddy.

Not just for sending me,

but for giving me another chance.

I'll write you every day,

and I'll call you every Sunday morning--

or maybe Sunday night-- depends on if the rates change.

Call me anytime. I'll be here.

Safe trip. Okay. Bye.

You do lead a charmed life. You know that.

Take care of them for me, will you?

You take care of yourself.

Bye, Brandon.

Have fun, okay?

I can't believe this is really happening.

Me either.

Now I got to start doing my own laundry again.

I'll miss you, too, Dylan.

Go on.

Just, uh... don't fall in love over there, okay?

That goes for you, too.

Oh, God!

Are you sad?

Uh-uh. Petrified.

I hate flying.

Just think, Kel. You could have been on that van.

Yep.

I bet Jake's glad you're staying in town.

I don't know.

We might get together sometime.

Oh, Kelly.

Hey, I might even get together with you.

Really? I might just hold you to that.