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NEWSCASTER: Well, you've heard the old expression

"children should be seen and not heard?"

Well, now there's a government survey that wants to know

what kids have to say on a variety of subjects,

but one of those subjects has some people up in arms.

Evan Eber reports.

Oh, this is it, this is it! Turn up the sound.

EBER: Many of the questions pertain to sex,

and therein lies the controversy.

Critics contend the government-funded survey

promotes a message that casual sex is okay.

There's John Griffin! But proponents insist otherwise.

Who's he?

John Griffin,

he's the managing editor of the paper.

They claim that teen pregnancy, AIDS,

and other consequences of adolescent sexual behavior

cannot be prevented unless we know something

about the behavior itself.

But not everyone agrees.

BRENDA: And there's Mrs. Teasley.

BRANDON: Oh, Andrea!

(giggles)

I look awful.

Oh, you do not!

How come I don't see your bones up there, squeef?

There I am right there.

Where?

Right there, that's my elbow, right there.

See?

Well, we could see your whole face

if the sign wasn't covering it.

Our public health is not served

by prying into every corner of our children's lives.

This is a wrongful allocation of taxpayer money,

and we think the department

should freeze the funding immediately.

EBER: No matter what happens tomorrow,

one thing remains clear:

when it comes to the issue of teenage sexuality,

everyone's passion can become inflamed.

For Newswatch, I'm Evan Eber.

Well, you kids must have had some day.

Quite an experience.

Can't believe I ended up on the cutting room floor.

Better luck next time, champ.

Well, Mrs. Walsh, it's getting to be that time.

I think we ought to head on up to bed.

Okay. Night, all.

Good night, everybody. Night.

Yeah, Miss Walsh,

I think it's getting to be about that time.

We'd better head on up to bed.

Right.

Well, you can't blame a guy for trying, right?

So, uh, staff meeting first period tomorrow, huh?

Yeah. Great.

Great.

Great.

Hey, Brandon.

You didn't tell me your folks were having

the Parents' Association meeting at your house.

Well, that's because I'm the last one to know.

When is it? Hey-hey.

So, Walsh, uh, did you see us on the news?

Hey, sorry your mug didn't make the cut.

Yours almost broke our picture tube.

John, your face was all over the TV.

I tried to call you to tell you it was on,

but there was no answer.

Oh, well, I was at Brandon's house.

Aren't they the darling duo?

Kelly, what's wrong? You sound cranky.

Just seeing David reminds me of

how much my mom likes his dad.

What can she see in a guy

who's idea of a good time is a gum massage?

Kelly, he's a dentist.

All right, who's available third period?

I am. You're already facilitating the assembly, John.

I can cover both. Whoa. Eager little beaver, aren't we?

Why? Just 'cause I don't phone it in, Walsh?

Hey, Mrs. T.

Are they ready for us? We're all set.

Is everything all right, Mrs. Teasley?

I'm afraid I have some disappointing news.

They're hypocrites, that's all there is to it.

Two-faced ignoramuses.

Or is it ignorami?

No, what it is is a travesty.

It's a triumph of ignorance over knowledge.

That's good.

You should put that in your editorial.

Andrea, what's going on?

I was supposed to get out of English Lit

for the sex survey.

A public health survey, Steve.

Yeah, whatever. When's it gonna start?

It's been canceled.

You mean, postponed because of the rain?

No, canceled. Over. Finito.

Great.

Now I actually have to read Brave New World.

So, listen, if you need any help with that editorial,

I'm at your disposal.

Hey, Andrea.

Flogged any more school administrators today?

Yeah, Brandon said that

you really gave it to Mrs. Teasley.

You should've heard her.

She was...

Explosive.

I don't blame you.

I mean, it's really unfair.

It's like they don't give a damn about what we have to say.

Well, my mom will be happy.

She doesn't think they should ask kids about sex

because it might give them ideas.

Donna, doesn't your mom read the newspaper?

There were a million teenage pregnancies

in this country last year.

Every year, three million teenagers

contract sexually- transmitted diseases.

That is not because of any survey.

Andrea, settle down.

No, people are dying, Brandon.

More Americans have died from the AIDS virus

than were killed in the Vietnam and Korean wars combined.

More are gonna die in the next two years than...

than in the ten years since the virus was discovered.

How can... how can people ignore this problem?

Give 'em hell, Andrea.

(school bell rings) Catch you guys later.

I mean, honestly, how can any of these questions

get people worked up?

"Have you ever had sexual intercourse before?"

Excuse me?

"Have you ever used any of the following:

birth control pills, IUD, condoms..."

You know what I was thinking?

After school today, maybe you and I

could go over to the college library... Yes!

Really?

I mean, no.

Oh, well, it, it was just a thought.

No, no, no, I mean, I think I know

how to make them take us seriously.

I can't believe I didn't think of it before.

Tonight's Board of Education meeting.

MAN: And although the report was accepted

by the Board, uh, it was not filled out in triplicate

until after the deadline had passed.

Maybe this isn't such a good idea.

It's on the agenda.

It's too late to stop now.

Not if we just stand up and go.

Um... Andrea Zuckerman?

Is Andrea Zuckerman here?

Here goes nothing.

Hello, Andrea.

How's the student press corps?

Fine, thanks, Mr. Beale.

Um, I know it's late, so I'll get right to the point.

I hereby

propose that the West Beverly Hills Board of Education

move to consider adopting a plan to make condoms

available to the students

on the campus of West Beverly High.

(indistinct murmuring)

Well, I so move.

I second that motion.

Sheila?!

Well, why not?

We ought to at least consider it.

GRIFFIN: You guys should've seen her up there. It was great.

I mean, they were practically interrogating her.

But she stayed calm, and stood her ground.

He gets a little carried away sometimes.

Come on, Andrea. You were brilliant.

You were tough. You were inspirational.

But how was she really, John?

Ta-dah!

On the house. Thanks, Nat.

So when is this new program starting?

Well, it's only on the table at this point.

Not everybody in the Parents' Association

is gonna go for it.

Yeah, you want me to talk to 'em for ya?

You're the expert, huh. Nat?

You jungle stud.

Thanks for being so supportive, Nat.

Don't mention it.

Of course, if it were my daughter,

I'd lock her in the closet till she was 35.

(laughs)

(laughing)

Don't laugh.

That's what my mom would like to do with me.

Over my dead body.

Uh, David, easy, tiger.

Donna, maybe you should just...

not tell your mom about the Parents' Association meeting.

She never misses a meeting,

and she especially wants to meet your mom.

It could be a real free-for-all.

I hope your mom's prepared for that.

You guys know Cindy Walsh.

Nothing fazes her.

(indistinct conversations)

Jackie, Mel.

Grab a chair, they're going fast.

Hi. Where's Kelly? She's at home.

Hi, Felice.

Jackie, how are you?

Comme ci, comme ça. A little bug.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Hi, Bren. Hi, I'm glad you made it.

Oh, Mrs. Walsh, this is my mother, Felice.

Hi. Hi.

You're a very brave woman

to host one of these things.

I am?

Knock, knock.

Andrea, hi.

Hi, everybody. Hi.

Ah, the infamous Andrea Zuckerman?

Mom...

Cindy, Cindy,

I'd like you to meet Bill Sloane.

Hi.

Any friend of Mel's is a friend of ours.

Well, thanks, uh...

I thought this was supposed to be a parents' meeting.

Oh. Oh, yes. Oh.

Well, but that's just my daughter and her friends.

They're really only here to observe.

Find your father.

(clears throat)

I don't want my kid to be able to walk up to a school nurse

and say, "Give me a condom."

It's as simple as that. At least at school

they would provide some instruction. Mel, please.

If I wanted my kid to receive instruction,

I would teach him.

Bill... Just as simple as that, Mel.

Then just decide for your own kid,

and not for everybody else's.

Don't you decide how my tax dollars

are going to be spent.

Look, we're all gonna pay a lot more down the road

if we don't take some action before it's too late.

Gentlemen, please!

Mrs. Martin has been waiting patiently.

Let's give her the floor.

Thank you.

Boy, David's dad is very, uh...

Belligerent?

Outspoken.

Yeah, but so is my mom.

FELICE: Hi, everybody.

Dr. Martin would've liked to have been here tonight,

but unfortunately, he's at a medical conference

addressing his colleagues on this very subject, in fact.

And I'm sure he'd be a lot better at this than me,

but what he would've said to all you is this:

Year after year, the experts have been telling us

that condoms are the most effective way

to prevent the spread of AIDS

and other sexually- transmitted diseases.

And yet,

year after year, more people are getting sick,

more people are dying.

Children are dying.

It's very clear

there's a lot we don't know about this disease.

It's clear something is not working.

I submit, condoms aren't the answer.

(indistinct talking)

They work when people use them right.

Not always.

FELICE: As a concerned parent, as an educated woman,

and as a member of the generation

that barely survived the Sexual Revolution,

I'm tired of kids being told,

"Well, you really shouldn't have sex,

"but if you do," nod, nod, wink, wink,

"here's a condom, go have fun."

No.

No, we owe our children more than a mixed message.

She does have a point.

FELICE: We owe them the very best guidance we can give them.

And the only advice we can give in good conscience,

the only 100% reliable advice,

is to use that old-fashioned method

that is just simply gonna have

to become fashionable again, and that method is abstinence.

(indistinct talking, applause)

Andrea, say something.

And if they don't listen-- which a lot of them won't--

do you just shrug and say, "Well, I told you so"?

Donna...

I'm sorry, Mom, but...

What is this, a student council meeting?

Bill, I'd like to hear what Donna has to say.

(exhales)

Oh, gosh. Andrea, you go ahead.

Come on, Donna. No, you go ahead.

Yeah, go on Donna, go ahead.

Uh, it's just...

if you say that kids don't need condoms

because they shouldn't be having sex in the first place,

well, you're overlooking two very important things.

One is that a lot of kids are having sex,

and the other is that they are kids.

I mean... it's like,

if you have a swimming pool in your backyard,

you can tell your children not to go in it,

you can even build a fence around it,

but if you know that they're going to find a way

into that water, don't you think you ought

to teach those kids how to swim?

(people murmuring)

Couldn't have said it better.

JIM: If you would've told me ten years ago

that I would be in my living room

arguing about condoms in front of my kids,

I would've said you were nuts.

I remember when the big controversy at the PTA

was over where they were gonna hold the next holiday bake sale.

(groans): I thought David's dad

was gonna knock out that Sloane guy.

Yeah, well, he would've deserved it.

Hey, I know Bill Sloane from racquetball,

and he's a good guy, and he's a very caring father.

Well, if he's so worried about his son

getting his hands on a condom,

why doesn't he just have a little talk with him?

Honey, it's hard for some people

to talk with their kids about sex.

It wasn't hard for you guys.

Speak for yourself, bro.

BRANDON: No, I'm serious.

Remember the time Cheryl came out from Minnesota and we...

(laughs): Yeah, well, maybe... (sighs)

Well, personally, I think it's getting a lot easier

with all the media exposure and everything.

Well, that's true-- I mean, ever since

Magic Johnson announced that he was HIV positive,

it seems like all you hear about is condoms and safer sex.

And abstinence.

Right.

Hey, before you know it, frank discussions of sexuality

may be so common that we don't even think twice about it.

Well,

as you say, it's a new world.

Really, who'd have thought Andrea Zuckerman

would be leading the next sexual revolution?

Whoever would've thought that Donna Martin

would be leading the next sexual revolution?

Yeah.

So, guys, about last night, uh, pretty big meeting, huh?

You should've been there. Your dad got really into it.

Yeah, well I heard Donna was really, uh...

Vocal? Yeah, and she was pretty, uh...

Persuasive? Yes, yes.

Really persuasive.

Yeah, I think after she finished talking

a lot of people had changed their minds. Oh, yeah, definitely.

So, do you think I should, uh...

you know?

Make a move?

I have to admit, it has crossed my mind.

Well, here's a shocker-- I bet it's crossed hers, too.

Yeah.

So, you think this condom availability plan

is gonna go through, huh?

Well, Andrea thinks it's a shoo-in,

but I don't know-- it only passed

at the parents' meeting by a couple of votes.

But how soon do you think before we get some?

Go to a drugstore, man.

Excuse me. John, hey, John, what's going on?

Andrea's being interviewed for the news.

BRANDON: Get out of here.

GRIFFIN: No, I swear.

They got wind of the upcoming School Board vote.

Now we're national news. But why?

We're certainly not the first high school in America

to consider a condom program.

No, but we're the first one in Beverly Hills to consider it.

Beverly High didn't get on it already? Not yet.

ANDREA: Because otherwise,

we are gonna inherit the society

that pays the price for this generation's failure to act.

Brandon, can I talk to you a moment?

Yeah, sure.

Hi, David.

Donna, hi. How you doing?

Great! Mm.

Uh... so your mom wasn't too hard on you?

Oh, well, she disowned me.

Very funny.

Actually, I think she'd like to.

But I told her, sometimes you just

have to take a stand, you know what I'm saying?

Absolutely.

Of course she's entitled to speak her own mind,

but being interviewed on campus without clearing it first

puts me in a very awkward position.

And now she's insisting that The Blaze

do its own sex survey, and all sorts of unrealistic demands.

Well, you know Andrea--

she just gets real passionate about the issues.

Well, perhaps you can

help her tone down some of that passion.

The last thing any of us want to see

is her jeopardize her position as editor on the paper.

I'll talk to her.

Thanks, Brandon. Okay.

ANDREA: Two-thirds of sexually active teens

are between the ages of 16 and 19.

(sighs)

MEL: I hear that, uh, Andrea Zuckerman

was interviewed on the news today.

Can we please talk about some other subject?

Would you smell this?

All I've been hearing about for days

is Andrea Zuckerman and her mighty condom crusade.

It smells fine to me.

What do you think?

Me, too.

I mean this whole condom thing

is already such old news.

Uh, I'll just... have tea.

My stomach is really on the fritz.

Well, believe it or not,

some people haven't gotten the message yet.

You were telling me all about birth control

before I ever even got my period.

(coughs) JACKIE: Well,

with a wild child like you, I figured we were better safe

than sorry.

But how many kids your age are emotionally ready

to be involved in a sexual relationship?

MEL: It's so much easier with a boy.

You just give 'em a copy of Playboy

and say "Good luck."

Dad. (laughs)

I'm just kidding. They know I was kidding.

But the point is,

it's not just about birth control anymore.

It's really about disease prevention.

I mean, it's a completely different world

than when we were young.

Yeah. In our day, we had to walk ten miles

through the snow just to get to a love-in.

Well, I may be out of step

with most of my friends, but...

as much as I agree condoms are necessary,

I don't think they're necessary in school.

I mean, like you said, a lot of kids

just aren't ready to deal with sex.

Most of the boys are totally obsessed with it as it is.

Next thing you know, they're gonna be throwing

condom balloons out the second-floor lounge.

Oh come on, they're not that bad.

Yes, they are!

David, tell them.

Tell them what?

These days, isn't just everyone

totally preoccupied with sex?

Uh...

not that I've noticed.

So I'm kind of nervous, you know, and I see 'em sitting

behind the counter, but the cashier's being

really obnoxious, and she's yelling out

the prices at the top of her lungs... Come on, get to the point.

Did you get any or no?

(clears throat): Check it out.

Did you ever know there were so many varieties?

What'd you get, one of each?

Here, take some.

No, thanks.

DAVID: You don't need any?

STEVE: No.

Not at the moment.

Brandon, I don't know what you people from The Blaze

are trying to accomplish, but I would appreciate it

if you'd leave me out of it. What are we doing?

The personal journals!

Oh, that. Um... your name just came up.

Um, if you don't want to do it...

I don't want to do it.

Would you like us to leave

so you two can... No.

Andrea's trying to round up some people

to write about some personal experiences, that's all.

Some personal sexual experiences.

For the school newspaper, of all things? I'd rather die!

Yeah, I wouldn't want to do that, either.

Yeah, man, that goes for me, too, bro-- scratch my name off that list.

Yeah, I hear you.

Look, I'll tell Andrea you said no, okay?

Andrea Zuckerman doesn't always take no for an answer.

Now she actually wants us to go

and hand out condoms on the street.

She wants us to do what?

Excuse me, when did we start giving out condoms?

No, not condoms.

Just these informational packets they sent over.

Who sent over?

My uncle. He's a psychologist.

He's affiliated with this theater group in West Hollywood.

They do a show on safer sex.

Then they have a question-and-answer period,

and afterwards, they hand out these informational packets

to people who request them.

Well, now, correct me if I'm wrong.

I'm still on the editorial board of this paper.

I should've been consulted about this, shouldn't I?

We had to make a decision.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Andrea, why are you so obsessed about this?

You told me the School Board's gonna vote

three to two in favor of your proposal. My sources definitely think

they're gonna postpone the vote-- if they do,

this gives us something to bargain with. What do you mean?

In Massachusetts, some kids took action on their own.

Of course, they were handing out condoms,

but the School Board sat down and negotiated with them.

Besides, it's for a good cause-- it's a community service project

whose sole purpose is to educate kids about AIDS and safer sex.

Andrea, I'm not knocking the project, it's the protocol.

I should've been asked about this, not told.

(laughs): I'm sorry, Brandon-- you're never around anymore...

Hey, I was working. I have a job, remember? I know,

but this thing has momentum, it has got a life of its own.

Maybe you should get a life of your own before it's too late.

Excuse me?

You know... sometimes you get so caught up

in your quest to save the world, you don't see

that you're alienating people.

Like who?

Just trust me on this, okay?

The only people who ever respond

to these in-your-face tactics are already on your side.

(wry laugh)

I know what this is about-- you're jealous!

Jealous? Yes.

You can't stand it

that John Griffin got on TV and you didn't.

And now you resent me because I'm in the spotlight.

So now you got it all figured out, huh?

You got me all figured out-- everything in the world

is black and white, cut and dried.

Well, let me tell you something: it isn't.

Not with me, and not with an issue

like having condoms in school!

I'm sorry, you're wrong.

The statistics are black and white.

There are proven facts--

people just don't want to admit it.

And what you don't want to admit

is that you don't know that much

about the other part of it,

the part that doesn't show up in statistics or surveys.

And what, pray tell, is that?

The feelings! The sex!

Andrea, if you had a little more experience,

you'd know that love is not a public health issue.

(voice breaks): Thanks for bringing that to my attention.

Andrea...

Thanks a lot.

BRENDA: Come on, Brandon, I mean,

even in the best of circumstances,

you're a sore subject with Andrea.

And then when you put her down

for being inexperienced...

Whoa, whoa, hey, I wasn't putting her down.

Then what were you doing, Brandon?

It came out wrong, okay?

How could I know she'd be so sensitive about it?

What'd you expect?

I mean just mentioning it

probably set off all those scared feelings.

You know,

"I'll be a virgin forever.

There must be something wrong with me."

Brenda, that's ridiculous.

Maybe, but it's also normal.

Well, how do you know she feels that way? I don't,

but I do know how she feels about you

and I'm sure that only made it worse.

Great.

You want me to talk to her?

No, I gotta clean up my own messes.

Yeah, well you better take a big shovel.

Ha-ha. Hi, handsome!

BOTH: Mm...

Could I give you a lift somewhere?

That might be arranged.

Whoa, whoa, hey.

You're gonna desert me in my hour of need?

We'll send you a postcard.

See you tomorrow.

What? What are you laughing at?

I'm laughing at you.

What? What? Mm.

Andrea, I'm really worried

about the Board meeting tonight.

Donna's mother's on the agenda.

It's okay.

We have the facts and votes on our side.

You know, we ought to get there early

to make sure we get good seats.

You want me to stop by your grandma's house

on the way to pick you up?

How 'bout I just meet you there?

Okay.

Oh, before I forget.

Our first "true confession" came in this morning.

Huh?

The personal journals for the special edition.

Right.

I think this one's really good.

Maybe a page-one prospect.

Don't you want to hear it?

All right.

It's called...

"Okay, So I'm A Virgin".

You like the title?

John, I gotta go.

I'll see you later, okay?

Andrea...

(girls conversing)

Hi.

Uh, Andrea, look, before you say a word,

I'm not writing anything for the paper.

I know, Brandon told me.

Uh, loud and clear.

Well, there's a fine line between informative and sleazy.

And exactly where is that line, Kelly?

Well, you know what they say,

"I can't tell you, but I'll know when I see it"

See ya.

Don't let her bother you.

I'm still writing my piece and it is not going to be sleazy.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

There's just a lot going on and I'll be glad when it's over.

Well, the vote's tonight.

We'll celebrate afterwards.

Okay, thanks.

Avoiding anyone in particular?

Excuse me.

I don't want to "get in anyone's face"

and "alienate" them.

Come on, Andrea, hold on a second.

No, it's late, I gotta go.

Look, I don't want you to think

I don't respect what you've been doing.

It's hard to be outspoken.

I respect that.

That's not what you said yesterday.

Well, there were a lot of things I said yesterday

I'd like to take back.

Listen, I also have to tell you I can't make it

to the Board meeting tonight, I gotta work.

But I want to wish you the best of luck.

You've worked hard for this.

Feel free to jump in any time.

I don't have much to say for once.

Well, listen, about yesterday, I'm, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

You know it was bad enough

being reminded how "inexperienced" I am.

But hearing you apologize for it...

it's even worse.

Singleton?

Nay.

Beale?

Nay.

That's two nays.

It's okay.

I think the rest are with us.

Sporkin?

Yes!

All right!

Pula?

Yes.

The next one's Manners.

She seconded the motion! We're in!

Manners?

Nay.

(murmuring, applause)

BRENDA: The vote has nothing to do with the issues.

Sheila Manners and Donna's mom are best friends.

BRANDON: I don't know, Bren.

Maybe she really believes what she was saying,

that handing out condoms could encourage casual sex.

Which is like saying

seat belts might encourage people to drive cars.

Well, don't worry.

If we need 'em, we can always get

some "seat belts" from David Silver.

This all makes me so depressed.

What good does that do?

I mean, we can't just roll over and play dead

because of one measly vote.

Donna's right. We should set up a picket line

in front of the Board of Education.

No.

You know your uncle the psychologist?

We should help his group pass out

those informational packets on safer sex.

Hey, I'd do that in a minute.

I don't know about Kelly, but maybe it's something

that Dylan might want to be involved with.

I bet a lot of people would want to do that with us.

And I bet we could get the media to cover it.

BRANDON: What do you think, Chief?

I don't know.

Uh, why don't you guys coordinate it with John?

I'll see you later.

She's taking this hard.

What do you expect? She really felt it was important.

No, what she felt was important was having a forum

to discuss the issues.

Now, just because there's no vote pending

doesn't mean that we have to stop making ourselves

be heard in a mature and dignified way.

So what kind of I.D. do you need to rent a hotel room?

A hotel room?

Well, I mean, you can't just seduce a girl

in her own car, can you?

David, do I look like Ann Landers?

No, more like Dr. Ruth.

Look, the reason I'm asking you about the hotel room

is Donna told me that you and Brenda rented one

at the prom last year.

She told you that?

It was a small detail

that will never ever pass these lips.

Why, look, I forgot about it already.

It's a good thing.

Hobson, I'm bailing.

All right, man, say hi to my family.

(doorbell rings)

CINDY: Honey, it's Dylan.

BRENDA: Send him up!

Whatcha doin'?

Waiting for you.

Yeah?

Does that mean that you're actually ready to go?

Of course not.

It just means that now it's your turn to wait for me

What's this, Bren?

Oh, it's for the Blaze, the special edition.

Like hell it is!

"As often as you read

"about girls who become pregnant unintentionally,

"you cannot imagine the feelings until you believe

you are in a situation yourself".

You were going to print that?

I am going to print it.

I don't kiss and tell.

I don't talk about my conquests in the locker room.

Dylan, I know you don't.

Look, I'm not saying anything that's untrue

or even embarrassing.

No, it's not embarrassing,

but it's very personal to me and you are not gonna print it.

Dylan, come on. I mean, I can just redo it.

It's not as if I don't remember what I wrote.

I wish you'd forget it.

Dylan, wait a second.

Are you leaving?

Are you gonna go ahead with this?

Dylan...

Good night, Bren.

Dylan, wait!

Dylan, wait!

Dylan!

Dylan, please come inside.

I'm not going to try and change your mind

if it means that much to you.

Just tell me why you're so upset.

I can't believe you.

Dylan, I was only writing that piece

because I think there's a need for it.

I was scared to death when I thought I was pregnant,

It would've helped me so much

to have know that there was someone else out there our age

who had been through it.

You wrote about something very personal

that I was involved in for the whole school to read.

You didn't even ask me how I felt!

I'm sorry.

I didn't see it that way.

Yeah,

you have good intentions, Bren, but right now

I need to keep my private life very, very private.

I thought you knew that!

Dylan, I was writing about me, about my feelings.

They're gonna know who the guy is, Bren.

How many boyfriends have you had at West Beverly?

One...

and I'd like to keep it that way.

Why don't you come back inside?

Smells good.

Is that the perfume I gave you.

Maybe, maybe not.

DAVID: Hi, guys.

Hey, Silver.

I'm gonna go talk to Andrea.

Bye. Bye-bye.

Look, thanks for the advice last night, man.

What advice?

Well, it wasn't so much what you said.

It was the way you didn't say it.

See, it really got me thinking.

It's all a question of timing.

Like the song said, "You can't hurry love".

So, we just gotta hang tight,

wait for the right moment to come along.

or until I get my license.

Hi. Great news.

My parents left for Aspen,

so we can watch the MTV special at my house.

Hi, Dylan. Bye, Dylan.

Bye, Donna.

Timing's everything.

GRIFFIN: Now, remember, this topic can make people very nervous,

so after the show, don't be pushy

if someone's not interested.

I think that's probably pretty obvious, John.

Um, Andrea...

I'm really sorry, but I've decided not to do

my piece on the pregnancy scare.

I hope it doesn't goof up your special edition too much.

No, it's okay.

I understand.

Look, Dylan just didn't want me to, and...

Look, you don't need to explain, Brenda, okay?

I mean, I'm not even sure

that I'm going through with it anymore.

Okay, now does anyone have any questions about this stuff?

Anything?

I can't do this.

I can't walk up to a total stranger

and hand him an information packet about sex.

Come on, Kelly, it's a public service, it's a good deed.

Doesn't anyone want to go shopping instead?

Kelly!

Well, that's a good deed. It's helping the economy.

BRENDA: Look, why don't we stick with AIDS education today

and retail tomorrow, okay?

Sorry, guys. Count me out.

Well, Dylan, glad you could make it.

Here's a little light reading for you.

All right, guys let's get on with it, huh?

I thought there'd be some dirty pictures in there.

(Brandon laughing)

BRANDON: All right, who wants the box?

Good man.

After you.

You go ahead with Brandon, I'll meet you guys later.

No, I'll... I'll wait for you.

ANDREA: I-I don't know if I'm gonna go.

I... I'm not feeling that well.

Do you need me to take you to the nurse, or something?

John... John, just go, okay?

I'll be fine.

You're not coming, are you?

Well, you and John can handle this fine without me.

Come on, Andrea, stomp on my foot,

give me a face rake an eye gouge, something, I don't know,

just stop making me feel so guilty, okay?

Brandon, let me just clarify something for you.

I'm the one whose feelings were hurt here.

Oh, so I'm the hurt-er, and you're the hurt-ee, is that it?

Exactly.

Are you sure you don't want to come?

Yeah.

I'm tired and I'm a little burned out,

And if I never hear the word "condom" again,

it will be too soon.

We could always just use sign language.

Or not, and say we did.

You go ahead, they're waiting for you.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

See you.

I keep leaving my chemistry book everywhere I go.

I think my subconscious is trying to tell me something.

Andrea,

what's the matter?

Why didn't you go with them?

I couldn't be that much of a hypocrite.

I mean, who am I to try to educate people about safer sex

when I've never...

You're probably much better off.

Easy for you to say.

You could have any guy you want.

No, I can't.

Name one guy you ever wanted who turned you down.

Brandon Walsh.

Brandon?

Yeah, last year at the spring dance

he told me he thinks of me like a "sister".

Oh.

You're still really stuck on him, aren't you?

Yes.

Why is that?

Because we always want what we can't have.

Well, at least you've had something.

Andrea, wait just a second.

When I was a freshman, I threw myself at a senior

who pushed me into a bush and never talked to me again.

For the next year and a half I spent all my time

trying to "live up" to that reputation.

And now, even though I've changed,

I never know whether a guy asked me out because he likes me,

or because he thinks I'm easy.

I'm sorry, that's terrible.

So don't sit here feeling sorry for yourself.

You're not missing out on anything

you can't do later on.

Me, I can never go back.

Too bad we just can't meet in the middle.

I think we already have.

John.

Oh, so long. Okay?

John, what are you doing here?

I decided not to go.

Why?

Well, I've gone on these "field trips"

with my uncle and the group before and...

I don't know, I wasn't up for it today.

I guess I just don't feel like part of the gang.

Is it Brandon?

No, I like Brandon. Everybody does.

It's-it's just the little comments

here and there, the in-jokes.

Without you, I guess I just feel

like an outsider, you know?

I sure do.

It's like what I wrote in that essay:

"Just because you have four hooves,

doesn't mean you have to follow the herd."

What essay was that?

The one you didn't want to read.

Is that the one about feeling like the last virgin on Earth?

Yeah.

You wrote that?

Yeah.

Look, if, uh, I were to go to West Hollywood

to be with the others, uh, would you go with me?

Well, sure.

And if, um...

I wanted to go to the movies afterwards,

would... would you take me?

I thought you'd never ask.

(rhythm and blues playing)

♪ I know I over-analyze. ♪

Who's hungry? Me.

Okay, extra large, half pepperoni, half cheese.

Oh, great. How much do I owe you?

I got it.

No, come on.

No, you can get it next time.

Okay, fine. Thanks.

Mm-hmm.

What's this?

Uh...

I have other kinds if you don't like that one.

Oh, you're such a kidder.

David!

Uh, you... you want one piece or two?

Uh, maybe we should work up an appetite first?

Uh, wait.

I'm beginning to think you aren't kidding about...

Why would I be kidding?

It's like you said,

"If you're in the pool, you got to swim!"

Wait a second. I'm over here on the chaise lounge.

What?

I don't intend to sleep with you.

Oh, oh, oh, it's too soon.

I can see that.

No, I'm not gonna do that, with anybody.

You mean ever?

Well, with my husband of course.

I mean, I'm not entering

a convent or anything, for God's sake.

Wait a second, what about all that stuff you said

at the Parents' Meeting?

I just don't want to see kids get sick, or worse,

because their parents have their heads in the sand.

I mean, AIDS is not the only sexually transmitted disease.

There's lots of others, for instance...

I know, I know.

Look, I don't have any of those, I swear.

I know, I believe you.

It's just, right now, for me, life is complicated enough

without getting involved in a sexual relationship.

So I guess driving to Vegas is out of the question?

I hope you're not too upset.

No, I'm not really.

I'm... I'm actually kind of relieved.

So, uh, what'll it be?

Pepperoni or cheese?

Uh, pepperoni, definitely.

Oh, Bren, I gotta go. my mom just walked in.

Okay, bye.

Hello, what'd you want to talk to me about?

Kelly,

I want you to promise me

that you will never, ever have unprotected sex.

Not even once.

What are you talking about? What is the matter?

I'm pregnant.