Original subtitles

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Believe it or not.

That was 90 seconds.

Not a long time by any means,

but certainly long enough for any garden-variety criminal

to rob your house...

rob you bat-blind.

It's not my intention to frighten you.

I'm simply trying to point out

that in that same 90 seconds, an armed guard

from the West Beverly Hills Patrol would've been

at your doorstep.

Before I take any questions,

I'd like to thank our hosts of the evening...

also, they are our newest subscribers...

Jack

and Candy Welsh.

(chuckling)

(applause)

It's Walsh.

Jim and Cindy Walsh.

So all you do is press those code numbers

into this keypad like this,

and bingo, you're online.

Well, now we can sleep at night.

Huh, don't get me started.

This was your mother's idea.

Oh, and if you need another block captain

for the neighborhood watch...

Say no more.

We need all the help we can get.

Well, you heard what he said. I know.

Well, that's why we felt we should become involved.

The Lieberman house was broken into in broad daylight.

That's horrible. Mm.

I don't think we've met the Liebermans.

Well, you haven't missed anything.

But the worst is

that Kaplan over at 1410, ugh,

with those barking dogs

that he runs off the leash

and have you heard the latest?

Well, the new people have moved into the old Walker house.

Oh, what are they like?

(chuckles)

Oh, you'll see.

♪ Hello, again ♪

♪ I'll keep knocking at your door ♪

♪ Hello, again ♪

♪ I'll keep coming back for more... ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Hello, again ♪

♪ I say, hello, again ♪

♪ I'll keep knocking at your door ♪

♪ Hello, again ♪

♪ I'll keep coming back for more... ♪

♪ ♪

Ah, he's lookin' cool.

He's drivin' cool.

For Steve Sanders, the world is one huge clam.

(chuckles)

♪ Hello, again ♪

♪ I'll keep comin' back for more... ♪

♪ ♪

Dylan, your mom has been here

for three weeks so far.

Am I ever gonna meet her?

Bren, you've gotta trust me,

you do not want to meet this woman.

Come on.

She cannot be all that weird.

No, of course not, Bren.

I mean, I know everybody's parents listen to tapes

of wind chimes in the car.

Wind chimes?

♪ Again ♪

(fades): ♪ I say, hello, again... ♪

Good morning, Andrea.

What are you talking about?

It's a great morning!

I think we have finally found ourselves a staff photographer.

I told you someone would come out of the woodwork.

Yeah, well, fortunately, for all of us, somebody did.

Who?

Robinson Ashe III.

Ahh, yes.

Robinson Ashe III.

Splendid chap.

Not to be confused with Robinson Ashe IV, of course

or for that matter Robinson Ashe V.

I don't care what his name is.

He's by far the best photographer

this school has had.

Look at these "Lifestyle" shots he submitted, Brandon.

They're great!

Here, look at this one.

Huh?

Can he shoot sports?

I don't know. Why don't you ask him?

I think he has Tech this period.

What's he like?

Well, actually,

I haven't had the chance to meet him yet, but...

Oh, Andrea. Please, Brandon,

you're much better with new people than I am.

You know how intense I get.

Besides, now that you're the Editorial Board,

I think it's time that you started making some

of the tough calls yourself.

Fine.

But what if I don't like him?

Well, why wouldn't you like him?

You like practically everybody.

Yeah, I know,

but I've never had to deal

with a real live "Robinson Ashe III" before.

Well, if you truly don't like him...

maybe you'll learn to like him?

Thanks, Andrea.

Anytime.

Robinson Ashe, I presume.

Yo, what can I do for you?

Oh, you're Robinson?

You got that right.

Hey, I'm Brandon Walsh,

the sports editor for the West Beverly Blaze.

I hear you're pretty good with a camera.

Just pretty good?

Or good enough to become the next staff photographer

of the West Beverly Blaze?

(band playing)

♪ ♪

How's it going, Chief?

I don't know, man.

It's a lot tougher than I expected.

A lot tougher.

But you know, I think most of it's in focus.

Well, what's the problem?

You know, it's hard to say,

but I think the main problem is...

you don't know when I'm goofing.

Score one for the kid, man.

Look, have no fear,

with me taking the pictures,

your only problem is going to be choosing

which one is gonna be the best.

That's what I like about you, Ashe.

You're so modest.

And yet so good at everything I do.

Listen, man, no rush on the film.

Drop it off tomorrow, okay?

All right... Ah, Brandon,

um,

can I ask you a personal favor?

Do you by any chance live north of Wilshire?

Uh-huh.

Can I get a ride home with you today?

Look, man, this is, uh,

it's pretty tough for me to say, but, uh...

Yeah, look, hey, man,

if it's not cool, it's not a problem.

No, no, listen, it is a problem,

and I'll tell you what the problem is...

See, you don't know when I'm goofing.

You're good, Walsh.

Yeah, you got that right.

So where exactly do you live, Robinson Ashe III?

(doorbell rings)

Welcome to the neighborhood.

Oh, this is so sweet of you. Come in.

No, listen, I know how hectic moving day is.

I don't want to keep you,

but I just wanted to come over and introduce myself.

I'm Cindy Walsh. We live a few houses down.

I'm Felicity Ashe, and we live here.

(laughing)

I love your house.

It's my favorite in the whole neighborhood.

Well, thank you.

Come back and visit us anytime.

Uh, we should have all the boxes unpacked sometime

between now and the next five years.

Yeah, I know the feeling--

when we moved here from Minneapolis last summer.

We still got crates in the garage.

Well, I'll tell you what, if we ever finish here,

I'll come and help you unpack.

I might take you up on that, Do.

but until then, please,

if you need anything, just call.

Thanks, thanks, Cindy, will do.

Oh, and I hope you don't mind,

but I brought along a pamphlet

from the West Beverly Hills Patrol.

I'm the new block captain for the neighborhood watch.

Oh.

Well, it's not like Beverly Hills has a major crime problem

or anything, but, uh, there have been some incidents this month.

Oh, we heard. In fact, my husband thinks it's a good thing

all these break-ins started before we moved in.

He was joking, of course.

Oh, oh, I knew that.

ROBBIE: Yeah, I do believe

I can get used to the hills of Beverly

real fast.

I don't think I'll ever get used to this place.

Well, that's because you never lived in the 'hood.

It must be pretty rough down there, huh?

Yeah, well, it can get sticky sometimes,

but you know, as long as I can remember,

my papa's been promising my mom

he'd buy a house in Beverly Hills.

You gotta dap him, man. He came through big-time.

What does your father do?

You ever heard of Poppa's Popcorn?

Yeah, my sister only lives on the stuff.

Well, that's his company.

Your dad is the "Poppa" of Poppa's Popcorn?

"Positively finger-poppin' the old fashioned way."

(laughs)

So, you think your papa's got some free samples lying around

for all his hungry new neighbors?

From what I can tell,

Papa might have a lifetime supply for you

if you can let his son ride to school with you in the mornings.

Yeah, I think that can probably be arranged...

once in a while.

All right!

Then, uh, you want the, uh, extra-light,

super-crispy or new and improved Cajun Spicy?

Surprise me.

Cool.

Catch you later then, neighbor.

All right, man, go easy.

Look what you did!

Look, what I did?! What, are you insane?!

You rammed into me.

This is a brand-new car.

Yeah, well, this is a classic car.

Give me your license.

No. What do you mean "no"?!

We just had an accident. We gotta report it.

Listen, I don't have to do nothing till I talk

to my father, whom you better believe is going

to put your head on a platter

and serve it to his lawyers for breakfast.

Yeah, well, my father's no slouch either.

By the time we get finished with you,

you're gonna wish you never graduated

from driver's training.

We'll see.

Yeah, we'll see.

BRANDON: I can't believe what I'm hearing here.

Why should I have to pay

for something that wasn't my fault?

Brandon, I already told you, I will pay for it.

It's a non-issue. So let's drop it.

But there's a principle involved here, Dad.

What's involved here is a minor accident,

where no one was injured...

so let's walk away from it

with our heads held high and our insurance premiums intact.

Fine. Why don't we just roll over

with our tails between our legs while we're at it?

He's your son. You talk to him.

Dad.

Wait. Brandon, look,

even if it is her fault...

and I'm sure it was,

I mean, this is not the kind of message

I want to be sending to these people.

Honey, we lived here for two months

before anybody on the block even deigned to talk to us.

That's probably because we're from Minnesota.

Very funny, Brenda, but the fact is they're our neighbors now.

And we have to try to get along with them.

We have to learn

to live with them. But...

Brandon, I'm sorry: that's the way I feel,

and that's the way it is gonna be.

You know why they're doing this, don't you?

Yeah,

for free popcorn?

Ha, ha, ha.

You know the worst part about it

is that girl's gotta be gloating right about now.

CHARISE: But, Daddy, it was his fault!

I sincerely doubt that,

the way you drive like a bat out of hell.

I told you not to buy her a sports car.

This is an A and B conversation.

C your way out of it, please.

Robbie, hush.

I'll call the insurance company in the morning.

If you won't sue him, Daddy, I will.

ROBINSON: Look here, Charise,

we didn't move to Beverly Hills

so you could make a spectacle of yourself.

Right. We moved here so we all could

become a whiter shade of pale.

Charise.

That is cruel and untrue.

What am I supposed to tell them back in Inglewood when they ask

why we moved out?

How about telling them the truth?

How about tell them

that one of the reasons we moved out

was to put as many miles between you

and that Devo Demars character, with whom I know

you're still hanging about?

Busted.

Shrimp, you're working my last nerve, okay?

ROBINSON: So why don't you take that last nerve

over to the Walshes and tell that young man

that your father insists

on paying for the damages. But, Daddy...

No buts.

Just go.

My papa told me to talk to you.

Yeah, well, mine told me to talk to you.

So talk.

You first.

My father insists on paying for everything.

So does mine.

(chuckles)

Well, if your father's anything like mine,

I just might have to be nice to you, out of pity.

Don't do my any favors now. Hey, if it were

up to me, we would be having an appointment

with Judge Wapner and The People's Court.

Judge Wapner?

Yes.

(both chuckle)

I'm Brandon.

I'm Charise.

Welcome to Beverly Hills, Charise.

Thank you, Brandon.

Tell me, does everyone in Beverly Hills

drive like a raving lunatic?

No, just you.

(both chuckle)

(camera clicks)

(camera clicks)

(alarm sounding)

(gasps)

Jim. Jim. Cindy.

Call the Security Patrol. Cindy!

Call them!

It's probably Brandon.

BRANDON: Hey, Mom, what's the keypad number?

(alarm sounding)

This is a very loud way to wake up in the morning!

I know, Mom. I'm sorry.

I just wanted to go for a bike ride before school.

Well, if you'd paid attention the other night

instead of just clowning around with your sister,

you'd know how to turn this thing off!

I thought the number was 2514.

It is 2514!

Well, that's the number I punched in!

(alarm continues)

Mom, how come nothing's happening?

(groans)

(alarm sounding)

I'm sorry, I still don't quite see

why we can't turn the alarm off directly?

Nice work, Champ.

Hey, all I did was open the door!

Oh, sure, Brandon.

Here, here, let me try.

Uh, just a minute, hold on a second.

Hello.

CINDY: No, Mrs. Cooper.

No, there's nothing to worry about.

I have the Security Police on the other line.

No, nothing's wrong; the alarm just seems to be stuck.

(beep)

(alarm stops)

Thank you, thank you.

Dad...

For my next trick, I will pull a rabbit out of my hat.

No, do the one where you make Mrs. Cooper disappear.

Uh, no, yes.

No, no, Mrs. Cooper...

BRANDON: Hey, it may be funny now,

but I'm telling you, before you guys came downstairs,

Mom was borderline touch-and-go.

Brandon, Mom may be a little crazed about

all these burglaries, but she's definitely not wigging on us.

No, I didn't say that.

She's just stressed, that's all.

(tires screeching)

Oh, my God.

I don't believe this.

Charise... babe.

You got to settle down,

or you're gonna die behind the wheel and take me out with you.

Sorry, Brandon, I didn't see you.

Well, that's 'cause you weren't looking.

You're right. You're right.

It's just that I'm late for school.

Where do you go,

USC or the Mario Andretti School of Unsafe Driving?

Brandon, I'm still in high school.

Wait a second, if you go to West Beverly,

how come I'm driving your brother to school?

'Cause I go to Baldwin.

Where's that?

Near where we used to live.

A long way to drive, isn't it?

Yeah, it is.

So, nice talking to you. Wait a second.

Why don't you go to West Beverly?

"I wouldn't go to West Beverly

"if it was the last hellhole in the galaxy.

Too many cashed-up snobs."

And you should've heard the way

she dissed on everybody at Beverly.

I can relate to that one.

It's not what she said; it's how she said it.

And you got to remember, this is coming from a girl

who's driving around in a brand-new convertible,

courtesy of her papa, the Poppa.

Positively finger-poppin'?

The same.

We're talking beaucoup bucks here.

(chuckles)

Princesses come in all shapes and sizes.

And colors.

But you say that

she's a good student.

According to Robbie, she's always complaining

that her classes aren't hard enough.

And here she has a chance to go

to a great school, and she trashes it.

That is exactly what interests me about her story.

What story?

Brandon, here I am lying through my teeth

about living in district so I can come here,

and she's driving halfway across the universe to avoid it.

What story?

No, there's a story lurking there.

I'm just not quite sure what it is yet.

When you find it, Ace, you be sure and let me know.

Brandon, all I'm asking you to do

is have a simple conversation with her.

But that means I'd have to talk to her,

which is not something I want to rush back into.

And believe me, the feeling is very mutual.

Then why don't you ask Robbie to help you?

I'm sure he'd love that.

Look, if he truly wants to be

the next staff photographer, he'll help you.

(camera clicks)

Why is it that every time I look up,

that Robbie kid has a telephoto lens pointed at me?

Yeah, just what this campus needs: paparazzi.

You know, he kind of reminds me of David Silver.

I mean, except he's black.

I didn't know David Silver was black.

Shut up.

I don't know, but I think

Brandon has a thing for his older sister.

(camera clicks)

Mr. Ashe, how you doing today?

Good timing, Walsh.

I just framed your twin sister for a prize winner.

Speaking of sisters, uh,

this is gonna sound kind of weird,

but Andrea wants me to interview yours.

Interview Charise?

If it's all right with you.

No, I have no problem with the concept, man.

It's just that, uh,

it's Charise you got to worry about.

Why's that?

You really want the truth?

Always.

You see, it may be different with you,

but the truth is Charise really isn't

that crazy about white people.

Wonderful.

(line ringing)

(phone ringing)

Tamale Heaven.

Ramon, it's me.

Can I speak to him?

Sure thing, love.

Devo!

Yo.

Popcorn.

Tell her I'm busy.

He'll be right with you.

Thanks.

Thanks a lot.

ROBBIE: Mom, you look terrific!

Oh, thank you.

Robbie, I just left you a note.

You're on your own for dinner tonight.

Poppa's being honored by the Chamber of Commerce.

But, Mom, I invited Brandon over to eat with us.

So you're Brandon.

Robbie and Reesie have had plenty to say about you.

Well, then half of what you heard is probably true.

(all laughing)

Okay, we won't be late.

FELICITY: Say hi to your mom for me, okay?

Will do.

Uh, Mom, is there anything to eat

besides you know what?

Maybe Brandon would like to try our Cajun Light?

Aw, Mom!

What?! It won't be in the store for months.

It would be my pleasure. FELICITY: Good.

You tell me what you think.

All right, good-bye, everyone.

I swear, that woman tries to turn

all my friends into guinea pigs.

So feed me.

Don't you want to see me?

Look, you know I do.

But what do you want me to come

way up into Beverly Hills for, huh?

So your old man can kill me?

He can't kill what he can't see.

They're not coming back till late.

We could practically spend the whole night together.

Well, uh, look, I got to close up here tonight,

you know what I'm saying?

What about later?

I just think I should lay low because, you know,

with my brothers in town, they might be trying to run

some mind games on Moms, you know what I'm saying?

(scoffs) It's always something with you,

isn't it, Devo?

Charise...

You know, if you want to break up, that's fine.

Just don't use Beverly Hills as your excuse.

Come on now, Charise.

I can take a hint.

(scoffs)

Sucker.

How long have you been standing there?

Uh, I was just waiting for Robbie to bring out the popcorn.

And eavesdropping on my private conversation?

No, I wasn't.

Not really.

All I know is you have a boyfriend

who detests Beverly Hills

about as much as you do.

First of all, I don't have a boyfriend.

And second of all, I don't detest Beverly Hills.

Oh, that's right.

What was it you said to me this morning?

"FYI, Brandon,

Beverly Hills ain't heaven on Earth."

What was that about, Reesie?

It was about putting you on the defensive.

And don't ever call me "Reesie."

You are brutal.

Sorry about that.

Well, you should be.

I'm a nice guy.

No, really I am.

My mom told me so.

What else did she tell you?

She told me to look both ways before crossing the street

and always be polite to the ladies.

In all shades and colors?

Never stopped me before.

Hey, look, I couldn't find the Cajun Spicy,

so I cooked us up some extra crispy.

Thanks, but there's been a slight change of plans.

I'm gonna take your sister out to eat tonight.

She agreed to be interviewed?

Well, actually, I didn't bring it up.

I figured we'd get to know each other first,

and, uh, see what happens, if it's all right with you.

Yeah, sure.

It's cool with me.

I got two cousins working in Beverly Hills.

Same house... different wings.

Wings, man.

The house is so big they got to fly from one end to the other.

(laughing)

Oh, I crack me up.

Fly.

Go see your girl, man.

I got you covered.

You think I should give her a call, man?

A call?

Yeah.

Yo, come on, man.

Devo, where's your sense of romance, homey?

What she wants is for you to show up at her doorstep

with flowers and some strawberry yogurt.

(grunting)

So what's up? Talk to me.

You gonna lend me your ride?

Now you're talking.

But you got to change that shirt.

What's up?

You're going to Beverly Hills.

A green one, for money.

(laughing)

BRANDON: This is Charise.

Hi.

BRANDON: This is David, Donna and Dylan.

You can just call us the three D's.

(chuckles)

I don't think so.

Well, it-it's nice to meet you, Charise.

This is my sister Brenda.

She was in the car you tried to take out this morning.

Sorry about that.

Oh, that's okay.

Hey, I like what you're wearing.

Thanks.

STEVE: And I love the way you wear it.

I'm Steve Sanders.

And you're definitely better- looking than your brother.

I hope so.

And this is Kelly.

Hi.

I love what you're wearing.

KELLY: Thank you.

Uh, you want to sit down?

This is very hip, Brandon.

Very hip.

273... no, 274.

Operator, yeah, just give me Robinson Ashe in Beverly Hills.

While you're at it, let me have an exact address.

It's a new listing.

What? It's not listed?

Well, that figures.

I mean, I should have known this old man wasn't gonna have

his digits in the phone book, uh...

No, no, it's okay.

I'm just gonna have to wing it.

(alarm blaring)

(yelling over alarm): My husband must have accidentally set it off!

(buttons beeping) We don't know why!

I don't know why we ever installed this damn thing

in the first place.

Oh, what was that, Mrs. Cooper?

Oh, no, you didn't have to call the Security Patrol!

She did what?

Oh, oh. It's okay, honey, it was not because of us!

It's because Mr. Kaplan's dogs are barking too loud!

Oh, of course, the dogs.

I can really hear them barking.

(pounds wall) Jim!

(alarm stops)

(sighs)

Honey, way to go.

Mrs. Cooper, I have to go now.

(dog barking)

Get out of here.

Hey!

Hold it.

Don't you like animals, kid?

Well, I can take 'em or leave 'em,

but, uh, I work at this tamale stand

so they must smell the meat, you know?

Yeah, where are you going so fast, huh?

I'm going to see my girlfriend.

What's her address?

She lives on Hillcrest Drive.

I don't know the exact address,

but the name is Ashe.

We better call BHPD,

have 'em come and check out our friend here.

Oh, give me a break. What you gonna do?

Are you going to arrest me for walking on a public street?

What's in the bag?

Yogurt.

Keep your hands to the side.

Well, check it out. Hey.

Hey, get your hands off me, man!

(yells)

You responsible for all those burglaries, my man?

What burglaries, man? Look, I ain't done nothing.

Shut up!

(yells)

Give me a reason.

Robbie called when you were in the shower.

His mom's going to take him to school.

Oh, okay.

You know I really liked Charise.

Everybody did.

Do you think she liked us?

Yeah, she even liked Steve.

I think it was me she didn't like.

Oh, she wouldn't let you kiss her good night, huh?

I think she has a boyfriend.

Oh, that's a different story.

Yeah, it is.

That's terrible. That's terrible!

When did the police leave?

Well, was anyone else injured?

BRENDA: What happened?

Your mother's speaking to Mrs. Cooper right now,

so I don't know how viable any of this is,

but apparently there was a prowler outside the Ashe home

last night, who turned out to be a friend

of the daughter's, you know,

the crazy one with the sports car.

Yeah, I know who she is, Dad.

I took her out last night.

You did?

Yeah.

Is there some kind of problem with that?

No.

I'm just surprised, that's all.

Why?

Well, because, uh, two days ago,

you were ready to drag her into court.

Well... Anyway, can you guys

just tell me what happened?

What happened is the Security Patrol was called

and all hell broke loose.

This is a real mess.

(doorbell rings)

Morning.

Yo, man, didn't Brenda tell you?

My mom's taking me to school today.

Oh, yeah, she told me.

We just heard about what went down with the Security Patrol.

Oh, well, that.

It's not a big thing, you know that.

Well, my mom didn't know all the details,

but, uh, didn't the cops come?

You know, to tell you the truth,

man, I really don't know.

I was sleeping mostly.

Well, you must be a pretty heavy sleeper, pal.

Wasn't there a squad car...

Look, like I said, I really don't know.

Now, look, why don't we just forget about it,

you know what I'm saying?

Oh, hold on a second.

How's Charise doing?

I guess she's doing okay.

Um, look, I gotta go.

I'll catch you later.

All right. Okay?

ROBINSON: We have rules in this house, young lady.

There are rules in this house and you broke them all.

How many times have we specifically told you

to stop seeing Devo Demars?

I wasn't even here when it happened, Daddy.

What are you trying to sell me?

That this was

some random coincidence

that that no class bum gets himself into a fight

with the police in front of our house

while you're out gallivanting.

We went out to get a hamburger. You got a problem with that?

You'd like Brandon, honey.

Yeah, maybe I would...

but what I don't like is being lied to.

What I don't like is my daughter

sneaking around with a high school dropout.

What am I supposed to do?

You set the rules.

You tell me I can't go out with this one.

You tell me I can't go out with that one.

Black, white, it doesn't make a difference.

No one is ever good enough for you.

That's enough out of your smart mouth,

young lady.

None of this would have happened

if you didn't invite that thug here in the first place.

What are the neighbors going to say?

Who cares what the neighbors think?

I care.

Your mother and I didn't work all these years

to buy a house in Beverly Hills

so that we would be put

under a microscope.

Look, Charise, if I am hard on you,

it's because I love you.

Well, I'm sure this will all blow over soon.

By this time tomorrow, the whole thing will be forgotten forever.

Hey, buddy. Hey, Steve-o.

Hey, Kellster, what's happening?

Why don't you tell us?

Huh?

We were just wondering what happened last night.

I wish I knew.

This PR guy at the police department's been giving me

the runaround all morning.

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

Charise. What about Charise?

We were just wondering

if there's any jungle fever happening.

You know, you two really ought

to consider getting back together again.

What's his problem?

Look, I know you're a guy with a mission,

but I can't put the paper to bed without a sports page.

Yeah, sorry, I'll put it together.

The police won't release any details

'cause it turns out the guy wasn't actually arrested.

If he wasn't arrested, what's the story?

What's the story?

The story is a young black guy gets detained and harassed

on a public street for no apparent reason

other than the color of his skin,

and nobody wants to talk about it.

Wait a minute, wait. What are you saying?

That, that there's a cover-up going on here?

No, all I'm saying is that

some of these private security guards are like loose cannons.

Who are they accountable to anyway?

I think you'd better talk to the guy they stopped.

First I've got to find out his name.

That would help.

Hey, Robbie.

I've been looking all over for you, man.

You weren't in Tech class.

I came in a little late this morning.

Hey, listen, uh, I was hoping maybe you could help me out.

Do you know Charise's friend, the one that got hassled?

Yeah. What's his name?

Look, man, I thought we were going to forget about that.

What, and pretend nothing happened?

Sounds like a plan to me.

Robbie, I need to interview this guy, and I--

I'd like it if you could tell me

how I can get in touch with him.

Now, come on, Brandon.

Why are you going to make this thing worse than it is?

My parents are steamed up enough. You know that.

Yeah, I know, but the truth is

this isn't about your parents.

This is about breaking a news story.

If you want to be our new staff photographer,

I suggest you find a way to help me out here.

Well, if you put it that way,

I strongly suggest you find yourself a new photographer.

Hey, come on, man. What's your problem?

My problem is you, man.

You are a user and I'm sick of it.

You blatantly used me

to get my sister. No, that's not true.

Yes, it is!

You use every opportunity you can find

to make me painfully aware that when you look at me,

you don't see the new kid on the block.

You see the new black kid on the block.

And I hate to tell you this, but in my eyes,

that doesn't make you a whole hell of a lot different

than those dudes at the Security Patrol.

The guy practically called me a racist

and he did call me a user.

It's bogus, man, it...

It's pure BS.

What? Y-You think I use people?

You think I'm a racist?

No, Brandon, of course not.

You promise you won't get mad?

Go on.

If you didn't think there was a kernel of truth

to what he was saying, you probably wouldn't be so angry.

BRANDON: Charise.

You got a minute?

Is this off the record or on the record?

I guess Robbie told you about the article, huh?

The moment I got home last night.

Right after he told me Devo got busted.

I'm sorry. I should have said something...

Yeah, you should have,

but then I should have known better

than to go out with a boy from Beverly Hills.

Look, Charise, when I asked you out,

I didn't ask you out as a reporter.

I asked you out as a friend...

or at least someone who wanted to become your friend.

Yeah, well, if you truly want to become my friend,

get out of here before my papa grounds me

for another month.

Charise.

(alarm blaring)

(sighs)

That damn alarm.

You better rush home and call the Security Patrol.

For all you know,

a Negro might be breaking into your house.

Okay, okay, fine, you win.

I'm the bad guy.

I'm the biggest bastard

in the history of Beverly Hills, all right?

You can say or think anything you want about me.

I don't care.

But what happened to your friend Devo

on this street last night was wrong!

Now, I want to write a story about it,

but I need you to tell me how I can get in touch with him.

Go home, Brandon.

(yelling over alarm): Mrs. Cooper, Mrs. Cooper, you're not listening to me!

There is no need to call the Security Patrol

because they're already here!

Yes, yes, they're in the other room trying to locate

what keeps setting this thing off!

If you and Dad don't disconnect that thing, I will.

It's embarrassing, Mom, it really is.

Yes, yes, Mrs. Cooper, I'm still here!

Do you have any earplugs?!

Really.

And you know the irony of all this?

That Charise's friend probably

wouldn't have even been hassled

if the Security Patrol had not come here

to answer our false alarm!

(alarm stops)

Ugh... it's about time.

This kind of thing never happens.

We're replacing all the circuits.

(chuckling): Clearly, something's defective.

Clearly.

Listen, you and your family have all been very patient.

I appreciate it, okay?

Anything I can do for you, just...

A-Actually, maybe there is something you could do.

When your security officers detain someone,

do they fill out a report?

Sure, yeah.

Hey, where are you going so fast?

Tamale Heaven.

Hmm. Sounds delish.

I'll let you know.

Hey, is it that new place on Charleville?

No, it's south. Where?

It's south.

It's somewhere between Watts and the airport, I think.

Why are you going there?

It's where Charise's boyfriend works.

I want to try to get an interview with him.

This is going to sound kind of beat,

but is it safe for you to go there by yourself?

Well, we'll see. Brandon!

I know you love playing Woodward and Bernstein, but I think

you're getting way over your head here.

Thanks. Brandon...

Brenda, just stay out of it. It's got nothing to do with you.

Fine. Just go.

(door closing)

♪ You open up your legs ♪

♪ Let me lick the devil ♪

♪ And raise hell ♪

♪ I roll downtown, to eat around chow ♪

♪ Blowing, vibing to surround sounds ♪

♪ Not knowing ♪

♪ Quite the candidate I found so I approached her ♪

♪ With an open mind and nice smile, "I'm Toussant" ♪

♪ "What's your name?" ♪ ♪ Janelle ♪

♪ Girl, you got a build that'll make a nigga kill ♪

♪ Be careful ♪ ♪ I'm kidding, I got a sick sense of humor ♪

♪ And I wish I would have got here sooner ♪

♪ I'm kind of in a rush ♪ ♪ Well, why you blush? ♪

♪ I mean, I let you go, I ain't gonna tie you up ♪

♪ What? You look surprised, that's why your eye rolled off ♪

♪ What? ♪ ♪ I can't chase you if you don't want to be caught ♪

♪ Let's be adults about it, exchange information ♪

♪ Later on we prolong this conversation ♪

♪ I got your numbers, I'll hit you in a few ♪

♪ Right ♪ ♪ And we'll find something to get into ♪

♪ Show me what you're working with ♪

♪ You don't know? ♪ ♪ Tell me if you hurting it ♪

♪ Yeah, for sho ♪ ♪ Tell me who you're flirting with ♪

♪ You, baby... ♪ (siren blaring)

♪ Can a nigga burst it? ♪ ♪ Maybe ♪

What's up, fellas?

So what are we trying to accomplish here?

Didn't Ramon warn you all

about mashin' hangin' around here?

Your whole posse know what's up, man.

Y'all keep this up, you're gonna get busted.

If y'all packin' or carrying, I strongly suggest

y'all step off before the man gets here.

You know what I'm sayin'?

Oh, you're larger than life now, huh?

The siren don't mean nothin' to you, huh?

Move!

If you're lookin' to score,

I strongly suggest you go back to your side of the hill.

You hear me?

♪ Just for show, I'll use my tongue ring ♪

♪ Shit, it's a first time for everything ♪

♪ I gave her a hit to perfect my scheme... ♪

Hey, I'm not a doper, man.

I'm a friend of Charise's.

More like a neighbor.

You're Devo, right?

Devo Demars?

Who wants to know?

I'm Brandon Walsh.

I'm a reporter for my school newspaper

at West Beverly High.

I live down the block from Charise.

I know what went down last night, man.

I want to do an interview with you.

With all due respect, you don't have a damn idea

about what went down here last night.

You got that? They did that to you, didn't they?

What, this? Oh, no.

You know, my moms accidentally rolled over me

with her Rolls Royce.

Seriously, man, did the security patrol jack you up,

or was it the city cops?

Did you say, "Jack you up?"

You've been reading your Spike Lee handbook, haven't you?

Hey, pal, you think you can drop the attitude long enough

to tell me what happened?

Why should I, man? Because it's an important story.

What is, man?

You tell me-- being in the wrong place at the wrong time,

or being in the wrong place at the wrong time

with the wrong color?

Do you think for one minute it would've been any different

for you out there, if I hadn't chased these guys off, huh?

It's not the same thing.

Yes, it is, man!

Wake up, all right?

They don't roll out welcome mats for my kind in Beverly Hills,

and you should not feel free

to roam around these alleyways, either.

Yeah, but that doesn't make it right, does it?

Of course it doesn't make it right, man.

It makes it the kind of world that we live in today.

I came down here, I heard this guy on the radio,

talking about that Rodney King incident.

You know, the guy that got beat up by the LAPD?

Yeah, I know who he is.

Well, the amazing thing wasn't what happened, Blondie.

Because, see, that happens every day down here.

The amazing thing was the whole thing got peeped out

by somebody's home video camera.

Excuse me. ♪ Maybe ♪

♪ She said if it go any further, call backup ♪

♪ I act up, and might claw you back up ♪

♪ All this talk about love-making... ♪

So what are you saying, Devo?

We should let bygones be bygones?

Well, hey, I mean, it's a kinder, gentler nation, right?

Oh, give me a break, man.

You're so full of it, you stink.

You look me in the eye,

and tell me this doesn't make you angry.

Look, man, it makes me angry, all right?

More important, it makes me sad.

♪ Got excited, and really couldn't hide it... ♪

You want a story, Blondie?

I got a story for you, all right?

My mother, who means the world to me,

had to go out and beg for money, man, in the middle of the night

to pay for a taxi to bring her into Beverly Hills, man.

(scoffs)

I will never, ever forget the expression on her face

when she rolled in that emergency room.

My mom has four boys.

Four.

Two of them are in prison,

the other one's on the pipe, and then there's me, man.

I'm the one she never had to worry about.

All I do is try to please her, man, and make her proud.

I try to do what's right.

(camera shutter clicking)

(camera shutter clicking)

BRENDA: Brandon!

Look, what are you doing here?

Well, after you left,

Robbie just happened to be walking by, so...

here we are.

Kind of beat, huh?

No.

It's kind of nice.

You all right?

Oh, this?

Yeah.

Don't even worry about it, baby.

Mama says I'll always be handsome now.

It's just a minor setback.

We got to talk, Devo.

I know.

Look, you want a tamale?

Right.

Oh. Well, you liked 'em before.

Well, I guess this means

you're going through with your big exposé, huh?

(sirens blaring)

You know, I don't know anymore.

Well, I think you should put it out there,

and if you do, there's some pictures

that your trusty staff photographer's been taking

that you ought to look at.

I'd like that.

You know what I'd like, guys?

(camera shutter clicking)

You guys have got to try the Extra-Crispy.

No, Cajun Spicy is the best, and no calories.

(loud munching)

Hmm.

(laughing)

What? Oh!

You're hysterical.

You know what I want to taste?

Popcorn in yogurt sauce.

Ew!

Oh, yeah.

We be sure to tell Poppa about that recipe.

Well, I hate to tell you this, but, um,

he's got that recipe already, and it'll be out by Christmas.

Are you kidding?

Yeah. Psych!

DYLAN: Do you know how good

your paper looks this week?

ANDREA: Yeah, we know,

but you can, uh, tell us again.

The article is really great, Brandon.

Thanks, Bren.

Hey, wait. Especially the pictures.

Oh, especially the pictures.

You know, I like this part right here.

"It's when we stop looking

"at the human race as individuals,

we, as a generation, are in trouble."

Eloquently put.

(doorbell chimes) Well, I'm glad you liked it.

Cindy, I got your note,

and needless to say, I am very disappointed.

Look, Mrs. Cooper, I'm really sorry,

but I can't talk right now.

We've got company.

To impulsively just cancel your contract

with our security patrol

because of one questionable incident...

Look, Mrs. Cooper,

I don't mean to be rude, but what this family does

and why we do it is really no concern of yours.

And you know, I met Mr. Kaplan, and I like his dogs.

Good-bye.

...professional game I went to, 1965 World Series.

Uh, Koufax versus the Twins, right?

What would you think about...? Yeah.

Yeah, right, I'll bet you're a Twins fan, huh? Mm.

Charise, what's up? Same old same old.

Where are you going?

Tamale Heaven.

I thought that place was off-limits.

Uh, not anymore.

Ever since you did your article on Devo,

my Dad's been rediscovering his roots.

Glad to help.

Thanks.

So, what did you think of the article?

I think my brother's an excellent photographer.

Oh. (laughing)

You are brutal.

Drive safely, Brandon.

I thought that was supposed to be my line.

(camera shutter clicking)

(camera shutter clicking)