Original subtitles

BRENDA: Brandon, you better give me your toothbrush and stuff

if you want me to pack them for you.

Yeah, I'll be right there!

I hope you're not finding more stuff to take.

Your half of the bag is already full.

Brandon, are you okay?

Yeah.

What is that?

It's my lucky hat.

I am sorry Brandon, but that is one nerdy-looking thing.

Come on. I think it's cool.

Well, maybe to a beaver.

Brandon, you've got to do something about your friend.

Who? Steve?

Yes, he is unpacking Donna's suitcases.

He says she's exceeded her luggage allowance!

Yeah, I'll see what I can do.

Why is Steve so uptight?

I mean there's more than enough room for six people in that van.

Try seven.

My mother's making me bring David.

David Silver David?

Are you serious?

His dad and my mom are going away for the weekend.

That does sound serious.

Yeah, so instead of staying home alone,

he has to tag along with us.

Well, Kel,

i-it might not be so bad.

Yeah, he'll probably videotape the whole trip for us.

Oh, right.

Yosemite: The Movie.

Well, at least we can show Dylan what he missed out on.

He's not coming?

No, since his mom moved back from Hawaii,

he just doesn't want to cut out on her.

He wants to make sure she's all settled in.

Donna, nobody takes shoulder pads on a camping trip!

(grunts)

B-Brandon, tell him to give them back to me.

And she doesn't need 16 bags of makeup! Okay?

And Steve is not my father.

I can take... Donna, don't you understand...?

Hey, hey, hey! Hey!

Now, Donna, Steve does have a good point.

Thank you.

You'll never wear half this stuff,

and, as far as I'm concerned,

you never need makeup anyway.

Well... Thank you.

All right, now, let's get going, all right?

We're gonna have a great time once we get on the road.

STEVE: Yo, Dylan, what's the rumpus?

Hey, nice wheels-- for a mobile home.

Yeah, she's got everything--

four-wheel drive, cruise control, removable seats.

If we had a john, we could live in it.

Send me a postcard, man.

Thanks for the bags.

Hey, Dylan.

Sorry you're not coming with us, man.

Oh, it's probably better anyway.

My mom says that my planetary alignment

is in severe disarray.

Is that contagious?

Yeah, it must be.

She's "gotta" go to the desert this weekend.

I'm not invited.

So much for quality time with Mom.

Are you okay with that?

Are you kidding?

Man, I am so sick

of her cosmic mumbo-jumbo.

So, Jones, come with us. Come on.

I don't think so.

Wait, wait a second.

Just got a message from my cosmic advisor.

Your planets need aligning muy pronto in the Yosemite Valley.

I swear it. I-I don't know.

No. Hey, now, the planets get very touchy

when you argue with them.

Since you put it that way, uh...

I gotta get my jacket.

Cool. I'll get you some gear.

Yo, Cap'n Steve, make room for one more,

McKay's coming with us.

Oh, great. I'll just

rearrange a few hundred bags.

Okay, be extra careful on those steep hiking trails. We will.

And be sure to head back to the camp well before dark.

We will.

Make sure those boys stay on top of you.

When you're hiking, that is.

Mom, don't worry.

Dylan's not even coming.

Oh, yes, he is.

He is? Since when?

Since now.

Here, open up this bag.

Brandon, it's too full.

Well, you don't want Dylan to go naked, do you?

Or do you?

Let's just see what we can do.

(clearing throat)

Brandon, where is your sister already?

If we don't leave soon,

we'll never make it to camp before dark.

Steve, you gotta get over this rush hour mentality of yours.

I keep trying to tell you. Think vacation. Think fun.

Think "Let's go."

I'll get it.

Need a hand?

Yes.

I always knew you'd turn out to be good for something.

Well, when you figure out what it is, let me know.

You're very sensitive these days.

Maybe I shouldn't be going.

You have to go.

Why do I "have" to go?

Because I just repacked this whole thing for you.

Because I want you to go.

You won't feel a little weird

with me there?

Why should I feel weird?

I mean, this is a completely platonic trip:

Separate cabins, boys and girls.

Listen, it'll do you good to get away with some friends.

It'll be fun!

You know, you and your brother, you're like...

twins or something.

(horn honking)

I'm coming!

Let's go.

Yeah.

All right.

STEVE: All right, all right,

everybody, listen up. Brandon's got a little

announcement to make, and then we are out of here.

Come on. Come on. Don't be shy.

All right, I know I don't have to remind any of you

that school starts next week,

so let's get a little National Park spirit going here

and focus in on the fact that we're all young,

free, healthy, wealthy and wise,

and about to embark on probably

the most righteous journey of our lives thus far.

Let's get busy.

(whooping): Oh!

DAVID: ♪ 99 bottles of beer on the wall ♪

♪ 99 bottles of beer... ♪

BRENDA: David, not that one.

How about... ♪ Yosemite, here we come ♪

ALL: ♪ Right back where we started from ♪

♪ Where bowers of flowers, they bloom in the spring... ♪

(whooping, singing)

(thundering)

So, anyone know any good rain songs?

Look at that.

Who in the world would come here for their honeymoon?

I don't know. Maybe a duck or frog.

Steve, I cannot believe

you forgot to check the weather report.

I didn't forget to check the weather report.

I just didn't believe the weather report.

God, I'm freezing.

I'd give you my coat, but it's a little wet.

Well, if Mr. Good Samaritan over there

hadn't had us stop to change

old Bozo's tire, I think we would have been through

the Tioga Pass before the Highway Patrol closed the roads.

Hey, come on, guys. This is a minor setback.

Remember, guys, we're on...

ALL: vacation.

(thundering)

Okay, there is good news, and there is bad news.

Good news, please.

The good news is, there's one cabin left.

What's the bad news?

(water dripping)

Well, at least I negotiated a reduced room rate.

You got what you paid for.

The accommodations, though sparse,

have got an undeniably rustic ambiance.

Turn that thing off already.

Hey, come on, you guys. It's not that bad.

Yeah, if you don't mind the smell of mildew.

There aren't enough beds. Where are we all gonna sleep?

BRANDON: Hey, we'll get it worked out.

We've all got our own sleeping bags, remember?

Great. The floor is wet, though.

Um, maybe it'll dry if we get a fire going.

Well, not with this wood.

It's soaked.

I need a good hot bath.

Don't count on it, Kelly.

No tub? No hot water.

Oh, and be careful of the toilet seat.

It's got splinters.

Oh, terrific.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God.

Over there. Over there.

A big spider.

A big one.

Okay... Sorry, Charlotte.

You are history.

I've had some, uh, bad experience with spiders.

It's okay. I feel the exact same way about rodents.

Maybe there's some bug spray under the counter.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. That's it.

You guys are right.

This place is terrible.

What's the matter, Bren?

Mousetrap under the sink.

Empty or full?

ANDREA: Empty,

but the cheese was... nibbled.

Oh, my God.

Then what's the problem, Bren? There's no mouse.

Look, guys.

I'm gonna go get some dry firewood.

I think a fire will warm this place up.

As soon as I change my clothes.

Especially my shoes.

Bren, where are my hiking boots?

By the bed.

Where?

By... my bed.

In my room, in our house,

where I really sort of wish I was right now.

You left my hiking boots by your bed?

My perfectly broken in,

dry hiking boots, by your bed?

So now I have to climb up Half Dome in sopping wet

slippery tennis shoes

because you left my hiking boots by your bed?

I just have one question.

What's that?

Are we having fun yet?

(thunder rumbling)

Ugh. Soggy sandwiches.

Ugh, soggy muffins.

Soggy cheese balls.

Well, at least we're consistent.

I wish they had a TV Guide here.

But, Donna, there's no TV.

I know, but I'd just like to know what I'm missing.

What I'm missing is music.

I can't believe nobody brought a CD player.

Oh! I almost forgot.

All right.

Donna comes through in the clutch.

And you were hassling her about bringing too much luggage.

Ah. Ta-da.

(giggles)

That's only good for one person, Donna.

Well, we could take turns.

That's stupid.

Not as stupid as driving

hundreds of miles through a rainstorm.

Hey, where you going, man?

Beer run. I'm gonna liven up this joint.

Steve, forget it.

Brandon, come on.

Hey, don't look at me, partner.

My drinking days are over.

Dylan?

You know he doesn't drink.

Why are you trying to tempt him?

Excuse me. I can answer for myself.

Not this time, man.

I'll go. What would your dad say?

Hey, leave him alone.

Not everybody in this party's got to be a deadbeat.

You know, you guys make a perfect pair:

Mutt and Jeff.

You know, you say you don't want any now,

but when I break out the six-packs...

you'll all be begging for a brewski.

If you can get any.

Which really isn't likely.

If I say I'll deliver, I'll deliver.

Let's go.

I'll go, too.

BRENDA: Donna!

For, uh, the ride.

Don't encourage him, all right.

(clears throat)

There's, uh, there's something

I need to get while we're out.

Like what?

Yeah, like what?

Uh, uh...

A feminine product, okay?

Is everyone happy now?

Hey, it's too bad you guys can't get me

a new pair of hiking boots while you're at it.

Look, it was an oversight, and I said I was sorry.

What about my lucky hat?

Was that an oversight, too?

How did you expect me to fit everything in

when you had me pack all those extra clothes for...

Hey, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have come.

That way you'd have your lucky charm instead of a cosmic jinx.

(door opens, closes)

Dylan, where are you going?

To get a soda, if you don't mind.

Look, what I said about the clothes, I didn't mean it.

Okay, forget it.

And, listen, about the beer,

why did you say "Not this time"?

What are you, my mother?

I'm just worried about you, that's all.

Oh, well, you are definitely not my mother.

Look, if we're going to salvage this weekend,

all of us need to mellow out a little bit, including you.

I just don't feel like being the life of the party, okay?

That's okay. Just try not to be the death of it.

(clears throat)

Hi. Hi.

This is going to sound like I'm asking for spare change,

but do you by any chance have an extra quarter?

Uh, sure.

Thank you.

Thanks a lot.

You aren't by any chance on your honeymoon, are you?

Not too obvious, huh?

Yeah, we saw your car.

Oh, Neil, you didn't have to do that.

Oh, yes, I did.

I missed you.

(chuckles)

(clears throat)

Oh, um, do you have a quarter, sweetheart?

I had to borrow one from...

What's your name?

Brenda.

And this is Dylan.

I'm Alison and this is my husband, Neil.

You like the sound of that, honey?

My husband Neil.

NEIL: Music to my ears.

Let's go back to our cabin and you can sing it to me.

Nice meeting you, Brenda.

(grunts)

Hey, uh,

aren't you guys bummed that you got stuck here?

Oh, yeah.

Aren't you bummed, honey?

Devastated.

What a jerk!

Who does this country hick think he is?

I think he said he was the owner. Oh, yeah?

Well, he doesn't know diddly about running a business.

Why else wouldn't he sell me a six-pack at twice the price?

Because you're underage.

Time for plan B: The front man.

Excuse me, folks, uh,

I was wondering if maybe you could help me out of a jam.

They'll never go for it.

They're, like, grandparents.

Steve knows what he's doing.

That was quick.

We're in.

How?

Well, I just turned on the charm.

Told them you can keep the change from the 50.

(chuckles)

Do you have...

any sevens?

Go fish.

Picked a seven. That's another book.

No, no, no, move that log over.

No, the-the one in front.

Andrea, I know how to build a fire, all right?

Well, so far, I don't see any.

ANDREA: Why, why don't you add some newspaper?

Andrea, please!

How many fires have you built in your lifetime?

I've built a fire before, Brandon.

Well, I've built many fires,

possibly hundreds of fires.

Well, excuse me.

Probably thousands of fires.

The problem is we don't have any dry wood.

DYLAN: Well, young fire starter,

why don't you go get some from the newlyweds next door.

I mean, they have plenty.

Well, why didn't you say so?

Come on.

You can't just barge in on someone on their honeymoon.

We're not gonna barge.

We'll knock first. Brandon...

Bren, if we don't get some heat in here,

we're all gonna die from hypothermia.

(rain pouring)

(shivers)

(knocking)

Uh, hi.

Sorry, we don't mean to bother you...

On this night of all nights.

But, uh, do you have any dry firewood you could spare?

Well, you know...

Oh, sure, come on in.

Oh.

Thanks.

Well, looks like you got the deluxe cabin.

I bet you even have hot water, huh?

Neil was just about to make a toast.

Will you join us?

Oh, honey, I... ANDREA: Well, uh,

we-we really don't want to intrude.

Oh, you poor things.

How about some hot chocolate?

Oh, babe, I...

Cheers.

(engine starts)

Hey, Steve, isn't that your couple over there?

David, they haven't come out yet.

We've been here the whole time.

Maybe they snuck out the back?

(lock clicks)

Hey! What the hell are you going?!

You got my $50!

(thunder rumbles)

ALISON: So even though

we knew each other in high school,

we were just friends-- acquaintances, really.

But when I bumped into Neil in Cambridge...

You went to Harvard?

Oh, B.U.

Alison's the brain,

not me.

Stop, I am not.

Anyway, something clicked,

and we knew we were meant to be together.

No doubts, huh?

No sneaking little feelings you were making a heinous mistake?

Brandon! What?

ALISON: No, I understand what he means.

How can you be sure it'll last forever?

You can't.

NEIL: Just got to go with

your gut instinct, what feels right.

Don't you think so, honey?

Absolutely.

(chuckles) Maybe we should demonstrate.

ALISON: Honey!

Can I get you some more hot chocolate?

Uh, no, actually, we're expected back next door.

(Alison giggling)

Oh, right, right.

(giggling)

Uh, thanks for the wood...

STEVE: I swear,

it was like they were con artists or something.

And you were the innocent victim, right?

Hey, man, I hate to say I told you so, but...

No, hey, go ahead, I'm a jerk.

Ah, come on. I wouldn't go that far.

I would.

I even forgot to get food.

It's okay.

I'm developing a taste for soggy cheese puffs.

Man, I can't wait till I'm 21.

Why? So you can buy beer?

Big deal.

DAVID: Don't you wish you were older?

BRENDA: Sometimes.

But I'm really not in a rush to be out on my own anymore.

STEVE: Well, it's got to be better than where we're at now.

DAVID: Yeah, everyone saying you can't do something

'cause you're too young.

Or you can't dance in this club.

Or you can't watch this movie.

Can't vote in an election,

even though you might know more about it than your parents.

Who don't vote anyway.

My parents vote.

Yeah, but they're different.

Very different.

They, they're the exception.

It's like they've

discovered the meaning of life.

And what is the meaning of life, O Cosmic Steve?

I haven't got a clue.

You said it.

Oh, like you do.

KELLY: Yeah.

It's love.

STEVE (laughing): Yeah, love.

Love makes the world go round, right?

She's right.

Well, I can't prove it empirically,

but, I don't know, there seems to be a heightened awareness

experienced by people in love that...

that transcends the physical plane.

But it won't buy you dinner when you're hungry.

So what are you trying to say,

that life is just about money?

Survival.

That's it.

Getting by.

How romantic.

Love just gets in the way.

It confuses people,

makes them scattered.

I don't think those newlyweds next door would agree.

I mean, they seemed pretty focused to me.

(Steve chuckles)

Yeah, focused on a horizontal plane.

(laughter)

You're so immature.

No, wait, wait, Andrea, so what's your point?

If you're not in love you're somewhat a lesser specie?

BRENDA: Look, all she's trying to say is that

Alison and Neil are able to tune out the rain and the cold

and be at one with each other.

And each and every one of us would be lucky

if we could find someone like that to rely on.

(knocking)

Excuse me.

Alison!

What's wrong?

Is something wrong with Neil?

Yes! He's a stupid idiot!

(Alison sniffling)

I don't want to impose, but...

do you guys have room for one more in here tonight?

(thunder rumbles)

(clears throat)

(thunder rumbling)

(rain pouring)

Divorce?

Don't you think that's a little drastic?

Maybe you're right.

We'll get an annulment.

Oh, God.

ANDREA: Does Neil feel the same way?

Who cares?

He's a fool and I hate his guts.

Ah, the transcendence of love has again been transcended.

So much for your theory, ladies.

ANDREA: Alison, I...

I don't understand. I mean what went wrong?

The bastard got me pregnant.

So? He married you, didn't he?

Steve, shut up.

ALISON: I didn't know I was pregnant before last week.

I was planning to tell him tonight, until I found out

he doesn't ever want to have children.

This is great. We don't even need a TV.

We have Days of Our Lives right here in the flesh.

Well, actually, it's a little more like

Young and the Restless.

(knocking)

Hi, is uh, my wife here, by any chance?

(with Cuban accent): Oh, hello, Ricky, come on in.

Lucy is talking to Ethel right over there... babalu.

Alison...

Excuse me, I have to use the restroom.

What did I do?

Man's eternal question.

DAVID: You don't know?

We were just talking and boom, She blew up on me.

You would've thought I told her

that I'd just slept with her best friend or something.

No, it's not that at all. You see, she's upset because...

David, I think we should let Alison discuss this with him.

Discuss what with him?

It's, uh, kind of personal.

So she told you guys? (toilet flushing)

I gotta get this on film.

Oh... (groans)

I don't get it. I just, I don't get this.

Well, whatever you do, don't go begging forgiveness.

I hate to see a grown man grovel.

Why should I?

I didn't do anything wrong.

Absolutely. So stick to your guns.

I agree.

You gotta hang tough on this one, buddy.

Brandon, how can you say that?

You know what the problem is.

That's exactly my point: how come we know and he doesn't?

Really.

So obviously there is a small communication breakdown

on her side, don't you think?

Oh, Alison, honey, can we go now, please?

Will someone please tell him

that he can go whenever he likes.

Aw, come on, Allie.

Don't you think it would be better to talk things out?

NEIL: Thank you.

ALISON: I think you said it all before.

NEIL: What? What did I say, and why are

you making me do this in front of a bunch of strangers?

Why not? You're as much a stranger to me as they are.

DAVID: I'm sorry. Could you guys get a little bit closer together?

I can't seem to get you both in the shot.

Do you mind?!

Excuse me.

Allie, honey, at the risk of sounding

like a sexist pig, I have to ask:

is it that time of the month?

Look, Neil, uh, considering Alison's frame of mind,

I think that you should let her stay where she is for the time being.

Great. Now I'm getting marital counseling from the teenagers.

Great. There he goes with that you're-too-young mentality.

It never fails.

NEIL: Well, what do you know about it?

Have you ever been married before?

No, but a lot of us have been through a divorce.

Two divorces.

And a trial separation.

KELLY: And since we've been through it,

we can tell you: it's no fun.

NEIL: Well, hey, I don't want a divorce.

Tell it to her if she ever comes out of the bathroom again.

Take a seat.

(thunder rumbling)

So, anybody know any good divorce songs?

What? Are all your parents divorced?

Well, no, mine aren't, but...

Mine are. His are. His are.

Hers aren't; theirs aren't; and his are.

Uh-huh.

I can hardly remember what it's like

to have my mom and dad both living in the same house.

How old were you when they split up?

I was three and a half.

I was five.

How old were you, Dylan? About six, right?

So? No big thing.

I mean it's better to split up

than spend the rest of your life fighting.

KELLY: Well, it was a big deal to me.

When I was young I can remember

whenever I'd meet a new friend whose parents were divorced

I'd always think, "Hey, she's a nice girl.

It's not her fault that her dad moved out."

I guess I kind of reassured myself

that it wasn't my fault.

STEVE: I know.

I used to think that if I hadn't made too much noise

so early in the morning, maybe things could've been different.

Well, I know I didn't cause my parents to split up.

I could see it coming.

That's because you were 14.

No, it's because my dad became a jerk.

David, it's not that simple.

Well, you know what they say: It takes two to tangle.

It's "tango." "It takes two to tango."

DAVID: Uh, my mom was pretty patient with him,

but she started getting tired of waiting

for his mid-life crisis to end.

Hey, guys, I know divorce is no picnic for kids,

but we don't have any kids

and we don't plan on having any either.

See? There you go.

Is that what this is all about?

Honey, you want kids?

Alison, you told me they didn't fit into your lifestyle.

I was single then.

You told me your firm didn't look kindly

on associates who took maternity leave.

So? I can find another firm.

You told me you loved kids.

Yeah-- other people's.

ALISON: But you're always raving

about your nieces and your nephews.

Whom I love very much, particularly when they all go home.

Does that suddenly make me a bad person?

ALISON: No.

it just makes you a bad father... to-be.

Honey...

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God. (thunder rumbling)

I don't see him jumping for joy.

Alison, honey, you told me that you weren't able to get pregnant.

Apparently a misdiagnosis.

Oh, my God!

I've had it. Enough.

I mean, if you guys want to sit around here and play Dear Abby,

knock yourselves out; I'm history.

Neil, you don't mind if I use your cabin, do you,

since you're not really gonna

be needing it at the moment?

Oh, yeah, of course, fine.

What is the matter with Dylan?

He is so antisocial.

Well, we're not exactly having a party.

Mind if I join you?

(sighs) I don't know why you'd want to.

Dylan, what's wrong with you?

I've never seen you like this.

I'm just not into psychodrama.

It's not my scene.

How awful to fight on your wedding night.

Serves 'em right for getting married in the first place.

Just because your parents didn't make it together

doesn't mean that every couple is doomed.

Yeah, right. Whatever you say.

I know you're having a hard time, but... But what?

What do you know, Bren?

You got a nice home, a secure family.

My mom is a loony tune and my dad is in jail, for God's sake.

I know. I can't even imagine how that must feel.

That's right. You can't.

You can't even imagine it.

So who are you to come down on me about my negative attitude?

Dylan,

I know you got a bum deal,

but can't you look at what you have that is good?

Like what?

Like your friends.

Brandon loves you.

All the guys think that you're totally cool.

I mean, every girl I know would love to go out with you.

Every girl but one.

I thought we both decided

that it would be better to see other people.

Yeah, better for you.

Can't you just accept the fact

that I care about you and that I want to help you

and stop twisting it around?

Oh, I forgot.

You care about me, but I'm just too intense.

(door opening)

Hi, guys.

We're ba-ack.

And still married.

So, you guys worked everything out, huh?

Yeah, see, we both feel...

now stop me if I'm wrong, honey--

that even though we didn't plan on having children,

well, we've got nine months

for the idea to "grow" on us, so to speak.

ALISON: I'm already getting used to it.

Hopefully by then Neil will be, too.

What if he isn't?

Oh, I probably will be.

But you don't know, Neil.

Well, then that'll just be our problem, won't it?

No, it'll be that kid's problem--

who didn't ask to be born in the first place. Dylan...

NEIL: Dylan, nobody asks

to be born. That's right.

That's why you better make sure you want this baby,

or else give it to someone who does.

You know you're making a lot of assumptions

for someone who doesn't even know us.

I know what it's like to grow up being constantly reminded

that you are a mistake--

and if you're not prepared to love that baby or give it up,

you might as well have an abortion right now.

Dylan, stop it.

Fine.

It's stopped.

How was the honeymoon suite?

I don't want to talk about it.

Hey, Bren is everything okay? Where's Dylan?

He stalked off.

He'll be okay.

The van's open. He can sleep in there.

(howling in distance)

Yo, McKay!

Rise and shine, Jones.

Morning.

Morning.

Did you sleep last night?

Not a whole lot.

How about you?

I slept great.

I guess you needed to be alone, huh?

I guess I needed a drink.

Found 'em in the honeymoon cabin.

A drink drink.

(sighs): Oh, man. (sighs)

I got mine, though.

Puked my guts out.

From these little bottles?

It wasn't the alcohol, man.

It was everything.

(birds chirping)

But you were clean for so long.

Yeah, so chalk it up to the ever-growing list of failures, huh?

So, how you feeling now?

Now?

Yeah, now.

Now that the sun is shining again

and the air smells fresh and the birdies are chirping.

Now I feel...

okay.

Just okay?

You made it through last night, didn't you?

I'm still here.

You battled your demons, man, and you won.

I didn't win, Brandon.

Okay, so we'll call it a tie, then.

But you got to stop beating yourself up.

So who do I beat up?

My dad? My mom?

I know it's a real sore spot for you, but...

your mom really let you down this weekend, didn't she?

It's so damn old, man.

It's an old story with me.

I should've seen it coming.

I should never have let my guard down.

You ever tell her how you feel?

At this point, what good would it do?

I don't know. I mean...

I'm not a shrink, but...

it seems to me that your parents should be helping you.

Supporting you, loving you-- that's their job.

I just got to stop expecting anything.

It's better to know where you stand.

Well, I know where you're standing now, bud.

You're standing next to me,

and I think we should take advantage of the situation,

go find ourselves a trail and take a hike

through this righteously beautiful countryside.

What do you say?

DAVID: It's a brand-new morning here at Huck-a-Muck Lodge,

and as you can see, some campers tend to be

less bright-eyed and bushy-tailed than others.

We've heard tell of some wild boar living in these parts.

Give me a break, okay?

Oh, isn't it a little early for this, David?

David, get out!

Haven't you people ever heard of cinema verite?

(blows nose)

Steve, what are you doing?

Leave me alone.

He's clearing his sinuses, or so he claims.

It's true. I am starving.

Let's order room service. Oh, that'd be great.

I'll have bacon and eggs and French toast

and a basket of sweet rolls.

Oh! Make it two.

Why am I eating this? Well, Brenda,

I think there's some cheese left in the mousetrap.

Ha-ha-ha.

God, it's gorgeous out.

(birds chirping)

Where's Brandon?

I don't know. Where's the van?

(creatures chirping, squawking)

(laughs)

Yeah! Now, this is more like it.

Feel better? I don't know what it is, man.

Sometimes I just lose faith in myself, you know?

Yep.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

You all right, man?

Yeah. It's okay.

Come on. Let's go.

I wish I had

my hiking boots.

Whew!

(exhales)

Let's go up to the peak up there.

The view's got to be incredible.

Yeah.

You know, it's like sometimes I try to imagine my future,

and I just can't see anything.

I try not to look too far ahead.

You know what they say: "The future is now."

Man, this is beautiful!

Brandon! Whoa!

Whoa!

(grunts) Brandon!

DYLAN: Brandon!

Where you at, man?

Answer me!

(strained grunt)

Brandon!

Dylan, get back, man. The ledge is gonna go.

All right, man... grab my hand.

I can't, man. I can't let go.

(Brandon grunts)

DYLAN: Come on, man. Just grab it.

Let's go.

You got to try.

Come on.

(grunts)

DYLAN: Don't look down.

Don't look down.

Look up here. Right here.

Come on.

(panting)

Come on.

That's it.

DYLAN: Stretch, damn it.

Come on.

(grunting): All right, come on...

(panting, grunting)

Come on...

Okay, buddy, just a little more.

(panting)

You all right, man?

Yeah, sure. Solid as a rock.

(chuckles) Yeah, tell me about it.

Man, I thought my number was up.

Apparently not, thank God.

Thank you.

You're filthy. You know that?

Yeah, I know. Can't take me anywhere.

(both laugh)

(sighs)

Any message?

They haven't called the office.

They said there've been some rock slides

in the area because of the rain.

But they're probably fine.

Right?

Yeah, well, if they don't get here soon,

I think I'm gonna die from malnutrition.

(horn honks)

All right! Here they are.

The van doesn't have a scratch on it.

Where have you guys been?

Did you guys get in an accident?

Were you mugged? Did you get any food?

What's going on? All of the above, and none of the above.

Brandon, what happened?

Nothing-- we were just hanging out.

You lost a shoe. Well, at least I still have my foot.

Two feet, and... two arms.

True. Two arms.

BOTH: And a head.

But what... I'll explain it to you later, okay?

Hey, guys, come on. What do you say we get out of here already, huh?

Let's go. Let's go.

Uh, Dylan...

I... I know.

Listen, about last night...

No, hey, forget it.

Although you did have me scared for a little while there.

Yeah, me, too, babe, me, too.

But I knew you'd be okay since Brandon was with you.

Yeah.

(exhales)

Hey.

I'm sorry if I freaked you guys out last night.

No. Don't apologize, really.

You gave us a lot to think about.

Good luck with your baby, and, um...

Hey, if it's a boy, you could name it Dylan.

Well, he'd be in some good company.

Take it easy.

Have a safe trip.

Well, we are jammin' now.

Yosemite, here we come!

Oh, we're stopping for breakfast first, right?

Absolutely. Good.

Otherwise, I was gonna eat this van.

You guys, this is finally starting to feel like a vacation, huh?

Yeah, well, it started off rocky there at first,

but whenever you leave L.A., it takes a few days to unwind.

Hmm, not for me.

(sighs)

Hey.

You okay?

Yeah.

Actually, I'm incredibly okay.

Come here.

Mm!

DYLAN: All right, you guys,

let's grab those bags and dangle.

What?

Dangle? Dangle?

How about a little of this? Dangle it is!

(all shouting)