All language subtitles for Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990) - S01E08 - The 17-Year Itch (480p DVD x265 Panda)_track3_[eng]

JIM: Dinner wasn't that bad
once we got past
the two-hour wait.

It was just so
damn loud in there,
we couldn't even talk.

We were lucky
even to get in there.

Everybody wants to eat there.

Yeah, that's this month.

Now I know why
everybody's so thin here.

By the time you get served,
you've lost your appetite.

You know,
it's our first anniversary
away from home in 17 years.

Honey, this is our home now.

Jim, you have to work
on our anniversary?

The IRS doesn't know
it's our anniversary.

But I'll take
a personal exemption.

Remember our
first anniversary?

Mmm.

We ate dinner in bed.

Yeah, I'm getting hungry.

So you really like
the ties I gave you?

I'll tell you
all about it later.

Jim, whoa.

I mean, couldn't we
talk a little first?

(SIGHS)

Let's talk.

I just need to feel
a little intimate.

I know.

But I'm sorry, honey,
I gotta put
another hour of work in.

I'll go downstairs
so I don't bother you.

You couldn't feel the tension
between Mom and Dad
at breakfast?

No, because there
was nothing to feel.

When Mom doesn't slice
Dad's grapefruit

and when Dad grabs
Mom's gardening section,

you know something's
down and dirty.

Yeah, your imagination.

Come on, Brenda,
they're married.

They're supposed to
be crabby.

They never used to
be that way.

DJ: Yo, West Beverly!

♪ Hey, get on up and get down
'Cause I won't be around ♪

♪ This my goodbye song
and I'm bound to skip town ♪

♪ DJ Mike MC has gotta leave ♪

♪ So watch out all
you DJ wannabes ♪

♪ You better get up
and get down
and do your chores ♪

♪ 'Cause the next voice
that you hear could be yours ♪

Peace.

Imagine being the school DJ.

Everyone being forced
to listen to you.

You should.

Your mouth's big enough.

Yeah, right, come on.

Freshman DJ? Dream on.

Come on, man, why not?

Why not?

Because he'll be
competing with me.

I rest my case.

RYE: So what do you think?

How would you
like to participate

in my professor
friend's twin study

at the University?

She's got a couple
of sets of identicals
from Beverly High,

but she's desperate
for fraternals.

A college study. Cool.

No. No way.

I hate those zoos.

I'm not gonna
be a guinea pig.

Well, these particular
guinea pigs get money

and a time off from school,
but I respect your feelings.

Well, no, no.
Now, wait a minute.

Wait a minute,
this could be interesting.

Now,
I've read about those studies
where they send one far away.

That's what we're
talking about here,
Miss Rye, right?

Brenda in Siberia?

Oh, well,
anything for science, right?

Oh, these are gorgeous.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

And I want some.

Oh...

(CAMERA CLICKING)

They are stunning.

(EXCLAIMING)

Plants do better in clay.

Yeah.

You know, I don't know
anything about cactus.

Look.

What?
There.

Oh, God!
Lots of locos around here.

Come on.

Wait!

Cindy?

Glen!

Oh, my God.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

How are you?

Oh, God, I'm sorry.

I see you still
have your feet
planted on the ground.

Yeah, and you're still hiding
behind your camera lenses.

Oh, I'm sorry,
this is my assistant,
Anna Rodriguez. Glen Evans.

An old friend.

Very old.

How long has it been?

Twenty years?

Graduation, right?

Oh, yes.

You wore black.

It's been too long.

I didn't even
realize who you were

when I just took
your picture now.

Oh.

So, what are you doing here?

My friend
owns this nursery.

He needed some
catalog photos,
and I had some spare time.

No, I mean in L.A.

This is home now.

I got burned out
on all that traveling.

I needed to put
my tripod and ego
on shaky ground.

Well, I clipped all your
National Geographic photos.

I always figured you
for a National G lifer.

Oh, I even framed
your Pulitzer prize winner.

It was breathtaking.

You, too.

You look wonderful.

Yeah, right.
All my soiled splendor.

How about Jim?

Same old Jim.
He's fine. We're fine.

We've got two kids.

Twins, right?

I read about it
in the alumni magazine.

And you? No wedding ring?

Me? Still crazy and
living with my lenses
after all these years.

Well, you and your lenses
have to come to dinner.

Come on, I'll get you
a good deal on that.

Okay, dinner and dessert.

GLEN: The other guys and I
barely got the exposed film
out on time.

BRANDON: Tiananmen Square
sounds intense.

Where else
have you shot?

Oh, come on,
I don't want to bore you
with any more of this.

Oh, we never hear
stories like this.

BRANDON: Yeah, come on.

Nothing compares to the riot
your dad and I caused

when we worked together.

When was that?

Oh, come on, you know,
when I wrote for
the college literary rag.

Yeah, that's how
your parents met.

I was going out
with your mom.

You and Mom went out?

Only a few times.

On our one-month anniversary,
she came to see me.

And stupid cupid me,
I introduced her to your dad.

Worst mistake of my life.

They met through you?

How romantic.

Dad, I didn't know
you worked on a magazine.

No.

With me,
it was just amateur hour.

Oh, nonsense. Come on.

Your old man
had a lot of potential
in that area.

Who would have
thought you'd end up
crunching numbers, Jim?

Right.

I'd like to join you
on this stroll
down memory lane,

but I'm on a killer deadline.

Let me tell you, Glen,
audited people
really know how to riot.

Good night.

I've enjoyed
comparing lives.

Don't work too hard, honey,
I'll be up soon.

Good night, kids.

Wow, how'd it get
to be so late?

Brandon and I turn
into twin guinea pigs
first thing in the morning.

Yeah, they're gonna
shock us into pretending

Brenda's as good as I am.

But we all know
that I'm really better.

Sometimes they're just like
an old married couple.

Twins.
Double the pleasure.

A photographer's dream.

You know,
I'd like to shoot you two.

Yin meets yang.

Wow.

Give me a call,
we'll set something up.

Great.
Good night, Glen.
Good night.

Good night, Mom.
Good night.

You have made Brenda's year.

They're a great set of kids.

Yeah.

You know,
Glen's a guy whose life

I'd actually want
when I'm older.

Yeah, he's super,
except I think
he's got the hots for Mom.

For Mom?

(SHUSHING)

(LAUGHS) Dream on.

CINDY: (LAUGHING)
That was very funny.

Oh, I was so embarrassed.

I haven't thought
about that in years.

More coffee?

No. Thanks.

Oh, I read about
you and that model.

Well,
that lasted a second.

Actually, I just ended
a long-term relationship

with a foreign correspondent
in El Salvador.

She lost a lot.

I'm gonna show you my L.A.

You will fall
in love with it.

Where's this
testing center, anyway?

When we hear
the torture screams,
we'll know we've arrived.

(BELL TOLLING)

I could get used to this.

Yeah, this is seriously cool.

This'll be us in
a couple years, Bren.

Do you think we'll
go to the same place?

Our lives could
get set here.

Yeah, Mom and Dad
met at college.

Don't you ever
wonder how people
stay together all that time?

I think when you
find the right person,
like Mom and Dad did,

it just happens.

Yeah, but don't
you even think about

how Mom and Dad
found each other?

I mean, they're so far apart.

It's like they're so different
they're the same.

Yeah, well,
they didn't seem so similar
at 3:00 this morning

when Mom was downstairs
alone with Glen.

You know,
she never stays up that late.

I thought we
buried this one already.

Come on, maybe
the research
center's over here.

Trust me, Brandon.
We have arrived.

Hi.
Hi.

Hi.
Hi.

(EXCLAIMING)

(LAUGHING)

CINDY: You're next.

GLEN: You wish.

GLEN: You gotta see L.A.
in a convertible,

otherwise you'll miss it.

I love it. I had no idea.

Great colors.

Everything is so
vibrant and alive.

GLEN: Here we are.
It's like being in
a different world.

Oh, it's wonderful.

Yes, it is.

Oh, this is so...

Not Minnesota.

GLEN: You know,
the good news about it
being so transient here

is that things and people
don't get stuck.

You gotta scratch
the surface here.

There are plenty of folks
doing interesting,
cutting-edge work.

It is a different world.

So how's married life?

Great. Seventeen years.

That's a marathon.

Make it sound like
an endurance test.

This one is less natural.

It's almost manipulated.

Oh, well,
don't hold back now.

No, seriously.

I have always liked
the way you tell me
exactly what you think.

So, tell me
what you're thinking.

That you and Jim
are like night and day.

I never really
knew him that well,

but he seems harder
to read than ever.

You know what they say
about opposites.

We attract.

We're like
teenage mutant twins.

Hi, I'm Harriet Strathmore.

And welcome to
Noah's Ark's den
of scientific sin.

We'll start with
some ESP games.

Okay, Brandon, concentrate.

What playing card
is your sister looking at?

Uh...

Eight.

Gotta be.
That's my lucky number.

BOY: 10 of hearts.

Queen of spades.

BRENDA: How did you do that?

He cheated.

The cards have
gotta be marked.

So, anyway,
we were separated at birth.

When I was five,
I had the worst...

Stomach ache.

It turned out
I was about to
have appendicitis.

Yeah, well, last Friday,
I knew my sister
was gonna be upset.

Brandon,
that's because you knew
I was having an English quiz.

(SHUSHING)

(CHUCKLING)

Now, try not to
get too competitive
with these IQ tests.

No one ever aces these.

GLEN: Do you remember
the first time I met you?

You offered me some of your
Swedish ivy to transplant.

Well, we've come
a long way since
the University of Minnesota.

Do you ever play "what if"?

Like, what if
you hadn't met Jim?

Would you have
really liked me?

You bet.

You know,
I was pretty
conceited back then.

And you were the only one
who wasn't impressed.

But I was.

I just tried hard
not to show it.

Oh, I can't believe
how late it is.

I've got to be going.

Must be nice
having people waiting.

Yeah, it's nice.

I will only let you escape
if you come to my
opening tomorrow.

Sure.

We'd love to.

(SIGHS)
Absolutely extraordinary,
and Glen's backlighting.

Oh, he just has
the most sensitive touch.

Jim, are you listening?

Hmm?

I'm sorry, honey.
I'm just spacing out.

It was the first time
I actually felt at home here.

You've just got
to see the canals.

I don't have time.

Maybe Glen can hang out
like a perpetual teenager.

There's not too many teenagers
who've won every
creative award possible.

It's easier to do
when you don't have
to bring home the bacon

to a family in Beverly Hills.

You sound just
like my father.

Hey.
No. Honey, it's late.

DJ: So warm up those voices,

it's DJ time.

♪ Yo, West Beverly,
my name is Dave ♪

♪ I'm gonna give to you
all the songs that you crave ♪

♪ And all the babes
are gonna be my slave ♪

♪ And all from a guy
Who don't even shave ♪

♪ Word ♪

(BOOING)

So do you wanna go
to an art party tonight?

Definitely.

My mom's
a friend of the artist.

He's supposed to shoot photos
of me and Brandon tomorrow.

You could be
like a famous model.

Brenda Brinkley,
Brenda Evangelista.

So this guy's gorgeous,
right?

Yeah,
I wish he'd flirt with me
rather than my mom.

I think he's trying to
have an affair with her
or something.

Men.

They can never settle
for just being friends.

Yeah, but my mom
is acting really weird.

Almost like a teenager.

Mom,
what you're wearing is great.

Oh, I don't know.
Something's a little off.

How about this one?

Well, it's cool, too.
But what's the difference?

I just can't decide.

You sound like me.

Are you wearing perfume?

Well, it's not perfume.
It's just toilet water.

You know, Bren,
I was thinking,

since you're
Miss Figure-It-Out,

you ought to take over
figuring out all our chores.

Did I miss something?

Yeah, according to
that twin study,

Brenda's a brainiac
at quantitative analysis.

Oh, just my dream
to be a math teacher.

Brandon is Mr. English.

The other IQ test
results are in the mail.

Yeah, along with
my long-lost
anniversary present.

Yeah, I don't really believe
in all these tests anyway.

I mean,
who needs to know this stuff?

I think it's interesting
to learn more about yourself.

(PHONE RINGING)

Oh, I'll get it.

Hello?
JIM: Hi.

Guess what?

You're not coming, right?

Right, I'm stuck.

Oh, well.

What, you're not
going to impale me?

Well,
work comes first, right?

We'll miss you.

Right. Me, too.

Bye.

Okay. Bye.

Well, you seen one snapshot,
you seen them all, huh?

Bob, did you always aspire
to be an accountant?

Oh, sure.

After my
professional baseball career
folded at the age of 12.

You?

Poetry.
Not exactly lucrative.

Yeah, well.

Let's see if we
can find some poetry
in these numbers.

Right.

(CHATTERING)

Glen is the coolest.

I told you.

Too cool for my mom.

Cool enough
to take your picture though.

You're right,
Mom doesn't fit in here.

Sticking out here
is fitting in.

So, Bren,
what's your brilliant, deep,

quantitative
analysis here, huh?

A woman.

A very lonely woman.

And what's your
superficial word
on the subject, Brandon?

I don't know,
she looks confused,
she looks lost.

No, you're both wrong.

It's called
Dancing With Myself.

See?

You two will be up there soon.

My newest subjects.

Excuse me.
Glen, it's been so long.

Debera. Excuse me.

Hi.

Join me for
a breath of fresh smog.

I need a break.

Where are they going?

CINDY: How does it feel
to be such a success?

I wouldn't know.

You are the most modest
conceited man I've ever met.

You're the one
who's a success.

No, really.
You have a family, stability.

These are all images here,
except for you.

You go home and I stay
and I toast myself.

There are plenty
of beautiful glasses

for the great
artist to clink.

Plastic ones.

You get past a certain age,
the great women get taken.

I worked hard
and now I find myself alone.

I'm ready to settle down,
but I'm not willing to
settle, Cindy.

It's too bad Jim
missed you here
in your glory.

You're the one
that got away.

We could be in the midst of
a great adventure
in the Himalayas.

Freedom fantasies.

I can just see me
riding on a camel

with a ring in my nose
and bells on my toes.

Jim would just die
seeing me like that.

(SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING
ON STEREO)

They were gone 20 minutes
from the gallery.

What would they
have to talk about
for 20 minutes?

All those gorgeous women,
and he picked your mom.

I mean, she never listens
to music like this.

Oh, my mom always does.

Not necessarily
a recommendation.

No offense.

Listen,
what are the signs of...

You know, when your parents
aren't getting along?

Divorce signs?

Let's see, my mom spiffs up,
acts goofier than usual,
irresponsible.

"Like a schoolgirl,"
she says.

I never thought
I'd want to know this,

but what's it like
being a divorced kid?

Oh, it's not that bad.

Okay, the arguing
and the gross
polite silences stop,

but the fallout is major.

Your parents get
these new lives.

And you're
a left-out leftover.

Hey, there, scholars.

Hey, Mr. Walsh.

Hi.
Hi.

You missed a lot
at the opening, Dad.

Mmm.

When my dad
started coming in late,

my mom said the honeymoon
was definitely over.

♪...under the new candle
of a world gone by ♪

Jim?

JIM: Hi.

You're home early.

It's 10:30.

Is it? Oh.

(SIGHS)

Turns out that audit
should have gone to Bob

and a more senior partner.

I'm gonna have
a rough couple weeks.

But then, maybe we can
find some time together.

Jim, you've been saying that
since we moved here.

Maybe you just don't want
time with me anymore.

Just admit it.

Well, maybe you give me
such a hard time,
I don't want the time.

Aren't you even gonna ask
about the opening,
about my day?

I'm tired, honey.

I forgot,
sex is the biggie.

My mother says
that goes first.

My mom doesn't
even talk about that.

They probably
don't even have sex.

You and Brandon were
immaculately conceived,
right?

Having us was enough
to scare them off forever.

Bye.
Bye.

BRENDA: What do you mean,
"Don't worry"?

Last time
Mom didn't cut
Dad's grapefruit,

but today she didn't
even buy him one.

And he tossed her
gardening section
before she even read it.

So they're getting on
each other's nerves, so what?

This study's
getting on my nerves.

That fits in with
your personality profile.

You avoid probing
beneath the surface

and have a tendency
to gloss things
over with words.

Thank you.

And you're more intuitive.

Open, but impressionable.

Two peas in a pod, right?

Let's play some
behavioral roulette.

Tell me about
what goes on at home.

Well, it used to be
pretty cool for home.

But now there's
super tension.

Dad's just tired
and Mom's wired about...

You're as blind as Dad.

You men, you think
if you don't deal with stuff
it'll just go away.

Brenda, what would you do?

I'd stop it.

I'd try and get
Mom and Dad back
like they used to be.

I'd butt out,
let them work it out!

They'll be better off
without your
scientific meddling,

and so will we.

Brandon!

Just one big
happy family, huh?

Why won't you
talk about this?

It's just like what
Professor Strathmore said.

You're scared
to look at it.

You really are
just like Dad. So open.

And you're
carrying on like Mom
at her most unrelenting.

Sometimes I hate
being your twin.

Ditto.

Brandon, I'm telling you,
Mom and Dad are at
this danger point.

I mean, divorce is
considered cool out here.

Look, all Mom and Dad need
is a little time together

and a lot of sex.

You really think
they still do that?

Well, grow up, Bren,

what do you think it means
when their door is locked?

Yeah, well, the door
hasn't been locked lately.

And if they do
split up, what happens?

We switch off parents?

Hey, don't worry.
We're stuck together.

Cindy, the plants,
están tán lindas.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)
I'm sorry this job
is almost over.

GLEN ON PHONE:
Hi, it's Glen.
I've called four times.

Are you out making
landscaping history again?

Call me.

Life's so damn
crazy sometimes.

Assuming it's true,
which I'm not,
what are we supposed to do?

Sit them down
and have
a kid-to-parent talk?

No, you can't talk to parents
on that mature a level.

Tragic, but true.

I could get Mom
some trashy lingerie
and say that it was from Dad.

Dad would never get her that.

Well, see, that's it.
I mean, maybe she wants that.

I got it.
We'll rent them a limo

and say it's a belated
anniversary present
from us and Dad.

They can go out to a club,
have a good time...

No, no, no,
that's pure Glen.

We have to give them back
what they once had.

Rekindle the flame.

Yeah.

Sure I can't help?

Nope, nope, nope.

We got everything
totally under control.

It smells done.

Honey,
don't hurt their feelings.

This is really
very sweet of them.

How are we gonna make it
to Glen's photo
session on time?

I feel weird even going.

But, it'll give Mom and Dad
some time alone.

Are they talking?

They're not.

Here, put some of these
carrots on here.

It's weird how suddenly
we can't even
talk to each other.

Or be with each other.

I have a vague memory
of what sex is like.

Honey, what do you expect?

I mean, you come home
from the-- from the office
and you're so absentee.

Nothing is lonelier
than being in bed

with someone you
feel alienated from.

Listen, I am in
over my head here.

I have been in over my head
since we moved here.

Then slow down.

I don't care about big houses
and keeping up.

JIM: You think I like
killing myself like this?

And I know it's
not as glamorous
as what Glen is doing.

Stop hiding
behind your damn work!

Look, I brought us out here.
I'm not gonna let you down.

Honey, the only way
you're letting me down

is by being
absentee from you and me.

Cindy, it takes two.

You're not
exactly around here
these days, either.

I'm sorry. I've got
a mountain of work to do.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Come in.

I'm just gonna be here
for a minute.

I've been
calling you all day.

I know.

Listen, we have to talk.

I... I--I got carried away
last night.

This isn't me,
this isn't who I wanna be.

Look, things aren't
that black and white.

I have a surprise for you.

These are you.

You spent
all this time on me?

They're so beautiful.

So are you.

I'm falling in love with you.

No, Glen,
you just think you are.

Oh, this isn't happening.
I can't think.

There's no need to.

We're already
having a mental affair,

and that's far more dangerous
than a physical one.

Glen, what are we gonna do?

Haven't you always wondered

what it would be like
to make love to each other?

We've wanted to
do this forever.

No. I just can't handle this!

I still can't believe
I bailed on work for this.

It's for a good cause.

What,
having your picture taken?

No, scoping out
Dad's competition.

Brenda, just because
Mom and Dad are fighting
doesn't mean that...

Mom's having an affair.

I can't believe this
is really happening.

BRANDON: I just can't imagine
Mom doing something
like this.

Brandon, if Mom and Dad
can fall apart, anything can.

You were up early.

Had a lot on my mind.

Yeah.

I had trouble sleeping, too.

I'm reading
an interesting article.

Sports or business?

University of Minnesota
Literary Journal.

You remember
when you wrote that piece?

That was when we first met.

"Frost's The Road Not Taken
deals with
unfulfilled dreams."

I guess I've been feeling
kind of frustrated.

I'm sorry, honey.

Don't be.

I was a lot smarter
back in those days.

Look at what I wrote.

"Hindsight and regrets
make one lose sight of

"what's important."

No way I was going down
without you.

Going to say
something to Mom?

Hi, Dad.

How you doing, big guy?

Fine.

How'd the photo
session go, kids?

Short.

A complete bust.

Mother,

skip it.

Something
we didn't say?

Gotta bail, Dad.

But what about
something to eat?

I mean,
you kids always get nauseous

without something
in your stomachs.

I'm already nauseous.

Lost my appetite.
Not an easy thing to do.

I really wanted
to say something,
but I just couldn't.

I know.

What would you say?

Isn't there
anything that we can do?

We can't fix them, Bren.

I remember
when I was a little girl

and Dad went away
to this
accounting convention.

I thought he
was gone forever.

I cried and cried.

And then I wished
with my magic star wand

and then he came back.

My eyes were so puffy,
I could barely see him.

(SIGHS)

Wish I had a bag of tricks,

but I don't.

You've been spending
a lot of time with Glen.

Some.

I'm gonna go now, too.

I just want you to know

I really, really love you.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Jim. Hi.

Hi.

I was headed for work,
decided this was

more important business
to check out.

Enter at your own risk.

Hmm.

It's good.

You were always really,
really good.

Thank you.

You've gotten
just what you wanted,
haven't you, Glen?

Not everything.

You know,
I used to love writing.

I suppose I wasn't
great at it.

Then Cindy and I met,
we got married, settled down.

I was great at that.

I remember.

And then when
she got pregnant so quickly,

I didn't want to
take any more risks.

So I took them for you,
and you got what
we both wanted.

I'm calling that,
"The road not taken."

That's right.

Cindy and I are on that road,

for better or worse.

You know, in a marriage,

if you're very lucky,
you get 99%,

but when that other
one missing percent
bursts in,

it can feel like everything.

An illusion I'm
quite enamored of.

Look, I hate to break up
this male bonding, but...

Stop feeding me
meaningless lines.

I know what
you're up to, Glen.

I see what you're
doing behind my back.

Slipping in,
buttering everyone up.

Look,
I happen to like your family.

Then respect it, damn it!

You stay out of my home
and away from my wife!

Look, this has
caught me by surprise.

Now some of this
is for Cindy to decide,
isn't it?

Cindy and I are
in this together!

If you want to
finally grow up,

then get your
own damn family,

but don't you dare try
and take mine away from me!

DJ: Our next contestant
who's gotta be
def-er than our last one

is the lovely and talented,

that's what we pray
does she face it today,

the lovely and talented,
Donna Martin.

Kick it, Donna!

♪ This is Donna,
and not Madonna ♪

♪ And I wanna, wanna be
the voice of West Beverly ♪

♪ So ♪

(LAUGHING)

♪ So vote for me ♪

Please.

Oh, right.

Is this thing on? Good.

'Cause watch out, world,
here comes the voice
of your choice.

Steve Sanders.

Silver-tongued, golden hair,
spirit of young America.

Voice...

Voice.

Voice...

Why isn't he talking?

Mike fright.

Don't stop. Keep talking.

So why did Kelly Taylor
dump you again?

She what?

Look, get out of my face
and off this mike!

DAVID: Why? So we can
savor the scintillating sound
of dead air again?

♪ Yo, West Beverly,
this is DJ Dave ♪

♪ Now I'm not Vanilla Ice,
But chill out and be brave ♪

♪ 'Cause I'll
rock the microphone
for you over the air ♪

♪ So you say,
who's that freshman
check him out, he's aware ♪

My God.
I've created a monster.

Just the twins I
was looking for.

What's wrong?

Things are
a little rough at home
right now.

I'm sorry if we
embarrassed you
with your friend.

BRENDA: We were not
the most ideal subjects.

Yeah, maybe
we're not even twins.

That will be
today's family zinger.

No, Harriet thought
you were great.
Or as she put it,

"Two of a kind."
I mean, she thinks
you're a real team.

Your family is
very important to you.

Appreciate each
other's strengths.

At least we've
got each other.

Yeah, it helps being a team.

I wish
Mom and Dad were.

Cindy.

Hi.

Sounds more like bye.

Still trying to
improve my image, huh?

No.

I like everything I see.

I'm glad you're here.

You were right.

We did have
a--a mental affair.

Past tense, huh?

Very nice past tense.

I never intended it.

You just made me
feel so damn special.

Glad to be of service.

I really like you,

but I really love my husband.

I know.

I just wanted to say goodbye.

I had a visitor from
the better part of
my conscience this morning.

He made me realize
I couldn't break
into your family

even if I wanted to.

Yeah.

Well, I'm headed off
to an assignment in Canada.

It's real healthy here
for transplanted growth.

You and Jim
will do just fine.

Glen.

Thanks.

That slimeball has the nerve
to come over here?

Man, Mom having a nooner.

What's a nooner?

A nooner, Brenda...

Well, it ain't food.

This is unreal.

Brandon, I don't want
Mom and Dad to be over.

Sleazemeister.

Just want you to know
that you're a great family.

You all really
work well together.

(CAR ENGINE STARTING)

I am so damn glad
to see you two.

So what do you think for
my new article, "The Truth
Behind Twin Studies"

or "How to Respect
Your Better Half?"

I'm so respectful of that,
Brandon dear.

Are you okay?

Hey, guy.
Hey, Dad.

Hi, sweetie.
Hi.

Are you okay? It's so early.

Actually, I'm just waking up.

Listen, Jim, I've gotta...
Just pack your bags.

Bags?

Kids, you're all right
for one night, okay?

Yeah.
Yeah.

Your Mom and I are going
for our third try
on our anniversary.

Third time's a charm.

Listen, Jim,
things happened.

You love me?

Oh, yeah.

That's all I need to hear.

CINDY: Where are we going?

That was the most
romantic thing ever.

Even more than
Romeo and Juliet
or even Pretty Woman.

Well, I respect
your feelings on that.

Oh, and I respect
your respect.

Well, I respect your respect
of my respect of yours.

I respect your respect...

No, no, no,
I respect your respect.

No, no, no.
But I respect
your respect...