All language subtitles for Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990) - S01E06 - Higher Education (480p DVD x265 Panda)_track3_[eng]

(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, Einstein,
you got an order up.

Sorry, Nat.

Here you go.

Mr. Danzel. Hi.

I'm in your
American history class.

Brandon Walsh.

You know, this is wild.
I was-- I was
just right over there,

studying for
the test tomorrow.

Good luck.

Oh, I'm not
too worried about it.

History's my
favorite subject.

Fine.

Would you bring
some horseradish?

Sure, no problem.

Want to hear
the strangest thing?

What's that?

The guy over there
in the corner
is one of my teachers.

Danzel?

BRANDON: You know him?

NAT: Yeah, he's a regular.

Don't let him
get to you, kid.

Oh, he doesn't bother me.

(SNICKERS)

DANZEL: I grade on a curve.
10% A's, 10% F's.

The remaining 80% get C's.

C for average,
C for mediocrity,

C for just getting by.

God, who dresses him?

There'll be
another quiz next Friday
and every Friday.

Thanks, Mr. Danzel.

Thanks.

Love the tie. Yeah, great.

Yes, what is it?

Some of the people
who made C's only missed
three or four questions.

Those who got A's
only missed one or two.

That's the difference between
the pursuit of excellence

and a morass of mediocrity.

History used to be
my favorite subject.

Yeah,
the guy gives new meaning
to the word hemorrhoid.

What'd you get, Steve?
What do you think?

Oh, I hate you.
You got an A?

Yeah.

Steve is such a brain
when it comes to history,

and a total sub-mental
in everything else.

Bye.

Hey, don't forget
I need the story

on the swim team
by Wednesday.

Hey, the swim team's fine.
I'm the one that's drowning.

Well,
strap on a life preserver,

and get it to me
before the meet
with Beverly Hills High.

Come on, Andrea.

I got three tests next week.

(SCOFFS)
Welcome to West Beverly High.

It's easy for you to say,
you don't have a job.

You think running
a paper is a picnic?

Well, you're just
too good to be true,
aren't you?

Okay,
I will give the swim team
to somebody else.

You know, you don't have to
get so nasty just 'cause
you got a C.

Look, what are grades anyway?

I mean,
they're just some weird,
arbitrary reference points

that can't measure
what a person really knows.

I've never gotten
a C before in my life,
especially in history.

Well, uh,
maybe we could study
for the next quiz together.

If you want.
It's no big deal.

I suppose you got an A?

What are grades, anyway?
Bye.

What I would do
to go out with Dylan McKay.

I don't know,
everyone says he's trouble.

Well, he can trouble me
all he wants.

Hey, Dylan.

Hey, Kelly.

Brenda and I
were just talking.

What do you think
guys like best on girls,
long or short hair?

Mmm, that's a deep question.

Personally, I prefer blondes.

Really?

Really. Truly.

So, you're Brandon's sister,
huh?

Yeah, I'm Brandon's sister.

Yeah, she's Brandon's sister.

Bye, girls.

(LOCKER DOOR BANGING)

He's so weird.

Yeah.

I've always had
a thing for blondes.

Mom, you scared me.

Honey, you're beautiful.

Not California beautiful.

Brenda.

Hey, hon. Hey, Bren.

Hey, Dad. I've got to do
something with my hair.

What's wrong with your hair?

Everything.

(CINDY SIGHS)

Welcome home.

Where's the other half?

He's upstairs
studying with Andrea.

Andrea?

(TOILET FLUSHES)

Sorry about that.
Hmm.

So where were we?

The, uh, Cherokee Nation.

Right. Okay, uh,
who instigated
the Indian Removal Act,

and what year was
it put in service?

Andrew Jackson. 1828.

Wrong.
What do you mean wrong?

I mean wrong.

The Georgia Legislature
confiscated the Cherokee land

when they found the gold.

What are you
yelling at me for?

I'm not yelling at you.

It's just irritating
how you always think
you're right.

I am right.
Jackson was President.

He's the one
who pushed the bill
through Congress,

he's the one
who's ultimately responsible.

Oh.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Knock, knock.

Hey, Dad.

This is, uh,
Andrea Zuckerman.

Andrea Zuckerman,
this is my father.

Hi.
Hi.

So, what you studying?

American history.

Don't worry.
That's Brandon's
best subject.

(CHUCKLES)

Nice to meet you.

You, too.

(SIGHS)

This is impossible.
There's too much to cover.

Look, it's not that difficult,
Brandon.

Just memorize
when the Great Migration
took place.

Why do you say it like that?

Say what like what?

"It's not that difficult,
Brandon."

You act like I have
a learning disability
or something.

I'm sorry.

I didn't realize
you were so sensitive.

It's not me.

You're the one
who's so condescending
and businesslike.

It drives me up the wall.

Good luck, Brandon.

Where are you going?

This obviously
isn't working out.

You're right. Fine.
It was a bad idea.
I'll walk you out.

Oh no,
I can find the door, Brandon.

Us "businesslike" types
are real good
at things like that.

Way to go, Romeo.

Hey, where you going?
Down the tubes.

Ugh, another victim
of the Danzel curve, huh?

Did you get another A?

Yeah.

God, my dad's
going to kill me, man.

Just tell him
Danzel gets his kicks
out of ruining people's GPA.

It doesn't work with him.
He graduated Phi Beta Kappa,
summa cum, something.

Never lets anyone forget it.

Maybe I can help you out.

We'll form a study group.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

BRANDON: For some reason,
this doesn't
seem like studying.

It's all the same to me,
Brandon.

Nice house, man.

Huh! This is nothing.

You should have seen
where I used to live

before my parents
got divorced.

When was that?

Which time?

They divorced
each other twice?

Oh, amongst other things.

There've been
other marriages mixed in,

other kids,
other houses, you know.

What, your parents
are still together?

Yeah.

Well, look,
it's not your fault.

You've got to stop
blaming yourself.

(BOTH LAUGH)

All right, anyway,
what method did
the government use

to undermine
the tribal structure?

He's not gonna ask that.

Land allotment.

The government
detribalized everything

by giving every Indian
a little piece of land.

Hey, you wanna go
to the Laker-Piston game
next week?

You can get tickets?
Well, yeah.

My father gave me
season tickets
for my birthday.

All I got was a steak dinner
and a couple of
striped shirts.

Oh, I get great presents
ever since my dad moved out.

You know,
if I can keep my average
where it is now,

I'll be a Trojan.

My father's
on the board at SC.

Well, with your grades,
you shouldn't
have any trouble getting in.

You're a good guy, Brandon.

I don't say that
to many people.

In fact,
I don't say that to anybody.

Well, you're
a good guy, too, Steve.

Okay, name the five tribes
that made up the Confederacy

whose primary aim
was universal,
perpetual peace.

The Confederacy? I...

I don't think
we covered that.

Memorize it, Brandon.
Trust me.

It's exactly
the kind of question
the hemorrhoid likes to ask.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

STEVE: Name the five tribes
that made up the Confederacy

whose primary aim
was universal,
perpetual peace.

Amazing how we happened
to study for every single
question on the test.

Isn't that the point?
You stole the test,
didn't you?

Right. I happen
to be smart, Brandon.

I know,
but you couldn't possibly...

Look, relax.

It's supposed to feel good
to ace a test.

You believe that quiz?

As if he ever mentioned
which tribes belonged to
the Iroquois Confederacy.

Mohawks,
the Senecas, the Oneidas,
Cayugas, and Onondagas.

Come on, Steve.
I need you to be
honest with me, man.

Ah!
You stole a copy of the test,
didn't you?

You knew what I was doing.

No, but in the hall
you said that you...
What was I gonna do?

Make an announcement on KWBH?

"Hi, everybody,
this is Steve Sanders.

"I confess I stole the test."

Man,
you should be thanking me.

I can get expelled
for having this.

This is next week's quiz!

Actually, it's a copy
of next week's quiz.

The original's
still tucked away
in Danzel's desk.

How did you get this?

Bribery, larceny,
grand theft,

your basic
tools of the trade.

But don't worry.
We're not gonna get caught.

Yeah, that's what
every criminal says.

Come on, it's a quiz!

This doesn't bother you
at all, does it?

It's your decision,

but I'm not
gonna let some fossil

in a leisure suit
ruin my GPA.

It's just a quiz, right?
Right.

And just another A
on the Danzel curve.

Brenda, I'm sorry,
but that is not a hairdo,

that's a hair-don't.

Stop it, Kelly,
you're making her
hairophobic.

You know, she's right.
I hate it.

The color, the cut,
the everything.

So, change it.
It's not like
there's some law

that says you have
to keep the things
you don't like.

Brenda, my mom
goes to this great guy.
He barely speaks English,

has a pony tail
and this really hairy chest.

Oh, and he does Madonna.

Get real, Donna.
You'll never
get her in there.

Go to Troy Russo on Rodeo.
He'll do anybody.

And he's real New Age.
He cuts hair intuitively.

Well, how much does he cost?

Color and cut, 300 bucks.

I can't afford that.

Oh, how embarrassing.

I'm wearing both contacts
on the same eye!

And you thought
you had problems.

(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING
ON JUKEBOX)

Nat, Danzel just walked in.
He's sitting in my section,

I really don't
wanna deal with him.

Brandon,
you can't keep running away
from the guy.

Why not?

Because
he's a paying customer.

Here's your dinner,
Mr. Danzel,
and your horseradish.

How are you this evening,
Mr. Walsh?

Fine, just fine.

You did quite well
on last Friday's quiz.

Really?

Can I have another drop?

Sure, no problem.

Those of you who find
the Danzel curve unfair

may be encouraged by
the resurrection
of Brandon Walsh.

Not only did he get an A,

he is the only one
of you philistines

who didn't miss
a single question.

Way to go, Brandon.

Absolutely.
Kudos are in order.

Phew.

Looks like
I should be the one
asking you to help me study.

I aced one test. Big deal.

It is a big deal.

You completely
loused up the curve.

Why? What'd you get?

A "C".

Ouch.

Yeah, well, it's, uh,
goodbye Yale.

Hello,
West Beverly Junior College.

Anyway, I was, uh, thinking

maybe we could try
studying together again.

I don't know.

Look, I know
things got kind of
competitive last time,

but there's so much to cover.

Andrea, I just don't think
it's a really good idea
right now.

I'm sorry.

If you can change you hair,
you can change your life.

Spending $300
to change something

which is already
beautiful and healthy,

it's just insane.

Well, then I guess every girl
at West Beverly is insane.

Well,
if they're spending hundreds
on haircuts, they sure are.

Who said anything
about a haircut, Mom?

I'm talking about
a perm or extensions
or maybe even a great weave.

Don't you dare.

Why not?

Honey, the people that do
those things to themselves

just want to look
the way you already do.

In other words,
I have to stay boring.

For $300, yes.

I'm sorry, but you do.

Hey.

BRENDA: So, genius,
how'd it go today?

Uh, pretty good.

I got an A
on my history quiz.

This is no
ordinary A, Mother.

This is
a monumental achievement.

Bren.
Brandon, don't be so modest.

Danzel's a total Nazi.

Nice work, kiddo.

Oh, it was just a quiz.
It's no big deal.

What's no big deal?

Brandon got an A
on his history quiz.

Hey, that's great.

Not that I'm surprised.

Thanks.

I told you that C
was an aberration.

It's just taking him
a little extra time
to get adjusted,

but Brandon has always been
a terrific student,

and he's going to
make the honor roll

even if I have to
take his tests for him.

(CINDY LAUGHING) Oh, stop.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Hi.

Don't tell me,
another Danzel special.

I hate that guy.

Does everyone hate Danzel
as much as you do?

It's unanimous.

So, who else is in
this class, anyway?

I don't know, Andrea,
Donna, Steve Sanders...

Dylan McKay?

No, he's too smart
to take this class.

Or too busy chasing blondes.

What are you talking about?

I just don't understand
why every guy's dream girl

has to have hair
like Daryl Hannah
and a body like Kim Basinger.

Bren!
I'm trying to study here.

Well, excuse me for living.

(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING
ON JUKEBOX)

Here, don't spend it all
in one place or on one face.

Thanks, Nat.

Hey, hey, are you okay, kid?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I'll see you later.

Well, Brandon, I was hoping
you would be
waiting on me tonight.

No, I don't work on Mondays.

Oh, that's good.
Gives you more time to study,
that's good.

Yeah, well, I gotta go.

You have no idea
how it makes me feel
when one of my students

turns his studies around.
You obviously
worked very hard to improve.

Mr. Danzel, uh,
can I be honest with you?

Yes.

When I was making
C's in your class,

you didn't have
the time of day for me.

But now that I'm making A's,
you're very friendly
and interested.

Why is that?

I didn't know you
when you were making C's.

Exactly.
You never made the effort.

I have five classes a day...

And no one's
learning anything
in any of them.

Anyone can memorize
a bunch of facts,

but that doesn't mean
they're learning anything.

Memorization
lays the foundation

for a college education
where the ideas
can be more fully examined.

By who? A bunch of students
who've never been
challenged to think?

Who've been told
they're average

because some unfair curve
screws them around?

Now, you listen to me,
young man...

No, I can't stand here
and listen to you
pat yourself on the back.

The way you teach
and give grades is unfair.

It alienates everybody
and makes...

It just doesn't work.

Is there a problem, Mr. Walsh?

No, no, no problem.

(EXHALES)

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

Come on, Andrea,
will you let me explain?

No, you don't have
to explain anything.

I mean,
who needs a study partner

when they can cheat
all by themselves?

Would you lower your voice?
Better yet,

how about we don't
say anything at all?

Come on, it's not like
I do it all the time.

Right. That's why
you didn't miss one question
on last week's quiz.

Hey, I'm not gonna let Danzel
screw up my GPA!

Oh, yeah, but you will let him
sing your praises

and give you
a standing ovation.
Andrea, that's not fair.

No, I don't want to
talk to you, all right?

As far as I'm concerned
you're a total hypocrite,

and you're just lucky
I didn't turn you in.

You are the one
person around here...

Excuse me.

So, Joshua, how's that story
on the swim team coming?

Congratulations.
For what?

I heard you
aced Danzel's quiz.

Was it on the Nightly News
or something?

No,
Ripley's Believe It or Not.

I wouldn't mind
believing the same thing

about you,
little Miss Ripley.

Hey, I don't have
Danzel's class. Thank God.

Well, I think it's great.

We hear you, dear.

I can't be proud of my son?
I think it's terrific

the way he's working so hard
doing so well.

Could we possibly talk
about something

other than grades
and working hard, huh?

I think this is great.
We never discuss
anything at my house.

Count your blessings.

I'm not saying anything
is fundamentally
wrong with him,

but for a kid who's
finally getting A's,

he doesn't seem
very proud of himself.

That's okay.
You're proud enough for him.

As if you're just
a passive observer
in all this.

Well, obviously,
I like it when the kids
make the honor roll,

but grades aren't everything.

Who said they were?

All I'm saying is that
with this particular
history class,

Brandon doesn't need us
to put any additional
pressure on him.

Point noted and taken.

Brenda, I told you,
mixing the two colors together

is what brings out
the highlights.

My mother is
going to kill me.
Why?

She's the one who needs to do
something with her hair.

Brenda, she does.

Now, it is good that
we got the ash tint,

because that keeps out
the red highlights.

Or it puts them in.

Doesn't matter.
What do you mean,
it doesn't matter?

Brenda, relax, okay?
Meditate or something.

I told you,
I know what I'm doing.

Now, this process
takes all night,

but when you wake up
in the morning,

you are gonna be
a brand new woman.

Mmm. A brand new woman.

BRENDA: Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

What happened?

I colored my hair.

What am I gonna do?

Move.

Move to some other city
where nobody knows you.

You can start all over again.
I'll go with you.

We'll dye my hair, too,
and we'll join the circus.

You know,
I thought it looked weird
last night,

but Kelly swore the color
would tone down by morning.

Hey, hey, come on,
come on, it's not that bad.

Just pretend it's--
it's cool, or--or punk,
or something.

It is something.

It's hideous and I hate it.

Then why'd you dye it?

'Cause I thought
it would make
things different.

It has, Brenda. Believe me.

No, it hasn't.
I'm still the exact
same person inside.

Only now I look worse.

Good morning.
Morning.

Oh,
you've got enough books here
to start a library.

How's the studying going?
Chill, Dad.

I'm supposed to chill.

I second that.

Brenda!

Kind of cool, huh, guys?

Give it time.
It'll grow on you.

It'll grow.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Did you see the way
she looked at me?

Okay, okay, maybe she was
a little shocked at first,

but Dad calmed her down.

And to tell you the truth,
it's really not that bad.

Should I wear the hat?

I would.

Bye.
Bye.

Brandon.

Earth to Walsh.

What is wrong with you?

Jacob Danzel,
American history.

Oh, yes.
I had him last year.

You did?

Yeah, some wardrobe, huh?

Some teacher.

All he cares about
is his holy curve.

Yeah, well,
he's retiring this year.

He is?
Mmm-hmm. He's supposed to
keep it quiet, though.

He doesn't want everybody
making a big deal.

I'll tell you what,
if Danzel
announces retirement,

it wouldn't be a big deal.

It'd be a national holiday.

I learned a lot
from him, personally.

All I'm learning
is how to cheat.

Watch out, man,
you're flirting
with bad karma.

Hey, what kind of
marks did you get?

Does it matter?

Yeah.

Be careful.

Brenda!

We've been looking
all over for you.

Cute hat.

I was in a hat mood.

Show us your hair, silly.

Brenda! Uh... It's...

It's, uh...

Brenda, I love it, it's great.
I really do.

You don't think it's...

No.
No.

It's...

See you.

Bye.

Hey, Brandon!

I saw you dodging me earlier.
What's going on?

Look, I just feel
kind of weird about this
whole Danzel thing.

Will you lighten up, Brandon?

Doesn't it make you
feel guilty?

Guilty as charged.

What's this?

Christmas and summer
rolled into one.

Steve,
I don't want to touch this.

Are you crazy?
Look at the questions.
You could study for two weeks

and still not come up
with half this stuff.

I gotta go.

Hey, you cheated
on the last quiz.

That was a quiz.
This is the mid-term.

It's your future.

Hey, Andrea.

Come on, I gotta talk to you.

There's nothing
to talk about.

God, you are so judgmental.

Yeah, you're damn right I am!

I got a C
because you cheated.
I didn't deserve that!

Talk to Danzel,
it's his curve!

I'm talking to you
because it's your fault.

In 1850, there were around
120,000 Indians
in California.

How many were
still alive by 1880,
Mr. Walsh?

Uh, only 20,000.

That's correct.

Now tell me, Mr. Walsh,
what contributed to
this rapid decline?

Well, the white man
killed them off.

Well, everybody
knows that, Mr. Walsh.

I'm asking
what was the principle cause?

Come on, Mr. Walsh,
surely you dug deeper

in order to
understand the broader

historical context
of this question.

You don't think
it's important to know

that the white man
confiscated the Indians' land,

took their homes,

caused them to seek refuge
in remote, barren locales

where health could not
possibly be sustained?

Sure, it's important
to know that.

Then why don't you?

Tell us what happened
to the others.

The other Indians?

No. No, the other
space aliens.

(ALL SNICKERING)

Yes, the Indians. That's what
we've been studying, remember?

Yes?

The other Indians
were imprisoned
on the so-called reservations

where they were
forced to live
by the white man's rules.

Thank you, Miss Zuckerman.

Mr. Walsh told me
the other day
that he resented

the memorization
required in this class,

that he wanted to be
challenged to think.

Mr. Walsh,
I have just challenged you.

And where did it get us?

Is it my fault that you chose
only to memorize the facts

and didn't take
the time to think?

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

Mid-term on Monday, class.
I suggest you start studying

and thinking.

You can take your
hat off in the house.

Is that supposed
to make me feel bad
or good?

I begged you not
to touch your hair.
Mother...

Didn't I?

Look,
you just don't understand.

Yes, I do. Honey, honey.

Don't you think I know
what you're going through?

The summer that I turned 17,
all I heard on the radio

was-was how they wished
we could all be
California girls.

So you know what
Paula and I did?

We ironed our hair
right on the ironing board.

I mean,
Paula's hair caught fire

and she singed off
all her split ends,

then she put
an entire bottle of peroxide
over her head.

Is the moral of this story
that it'll grow back?

Oh, Brenda,

don't you know
how beautiful you are?

(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING
ON JUKEBOX)

Brandon.
Steve.

Man, I can't believe the way
that jerk Danzel
treated you in class today.

Everybody was
talking about it.

Yeah, it was real special.

Who does he think he is?
If he treated me like that...

Steve,
what are you doing here?

I--I don't know.

The way you were talking
in the hall today,

I got worried
that you might bust me.

Hey, come on, Steve,
I wouldn't do that.

Yeah, I know we're friends.

It's just, uh,
I want you to be in
on this with me.

It's just not right.

Compared to what?

Failing the class, Brandon?

Everybody cheats.

Everybody bends the rules.

You either take
advantage of it
or you get left behind.

Brandon, excuse me.

I'm curious,
do you still work here?

Yeah. Steve, I've got to jam.

Brandon,
what's your father gonna say
if you come home with a C?

Or an F?

Someday, when you're
sitting behind a big desk

in a big office
with a big view,

you'll thank me for this.

See you, Nat.

See you, kid.

Hey, Brandon,
you're doing a real
nice job, you know.

Thanks, Nat.

Got a flat tire, huh?

How very observant of you.

I wish the Auto Club
was as attentive.

Did someone
let the air out of it?

You've been inside
all evening.

You don't know how
to fix a flat, huh?

There are some things
I would much rather
pay somebody else to do.

If you can find someone.

And you know how to do it?

So, I heard
you're retiring this year.

Well, there comes a time
when one must move on.

I know you don't consider me
to be a particularly
effective teacher,

but there are those
who feel I do a good job.

Well, I didn't mean...

Now don't-- don't insult
my intelligence, Mr. Walsh.

I know the kids
don't like me.
I hear the comments,

I hear
the constant complaining,
the jokes about my clothes.

I am not deaf yet.

But those same students,
they may not like me,

but they will
remember my class,

and they will remember
what they learned.

The truth is,

I'm not terribly impressed
with a lot of my clothes
myself.

My wife picked them all
out for me.

She was ill.

She knew I didn't
have the patience
to shop for myself.

She was bound and determined

that I would
have enough clothes
to wear...

They're the one thing
I've got to help me remember.

Good grief, I...

As much as
I hate to admit it,

I probably
could change a tire
if I had to.

Well,

there'll be a quiz on Monday.

You dropped this.

Oh, did I? Thanks.

How much do I owe you?

Oh...

It's no problem. Really.

Well,
see you in class Monday.

Good luck with the mid-term.

Thanks.

What're you doing?

You never
cheated on anything,
have you?

I'm trying to study.

No, I've never
cheated on anything.

But you've wanted to,
haven't you?

I don't see what that has...
Haven't you?

Of course I have.
Who hasn't?

The point is,
I didn't and you did.

And you're never
going to let me
forget it, are you?

Cheating is wrong, Brandon.
What do you want me to say?
Nothing.

You know, sometimes
you act like you have
a personal stake

in everything I do.

Like we're a couple
or something.

Yeah, right.

But you see everything
only as black and white,
right or wrong.

But what I did
in Danzel's class

was not
a black-and-white issue.

It was a gray area.

Oh, so by calling it
a gray area,

does that make you
feel less guilty?

No.

You probably
don't believe it,

but I feel
plenty guilty already.

What I was hoping for
from you was maybe
a little understanding,

maybe a little support.

Thanks, Andrea.

Thanks for nothing.

Brandon.
I got to study.

Bran...

Brenda,
you don't need the hat.

You're right.
Do we have any paper bags?

Oh, stop.

Mom, this is not funny.

Honey, I didn't
say it was funny.

I thought you
were making a joke.

Trust me, Mom.
My hair is no joking matter.

You've got to be able
to laugh at yourself
sometimes,

otherwise you just make
yourself miserable.

Have a nice jog.

Thanks.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

♪ We all start
with the notion

♪ True love
is full of devotion

♪ Tossed out in the open

Hi.
Hi.

I thought that was you,

but didn't your hair
used to be a little different?

Yes. No. Well,
maybe just a little bit.

I hate this color,
if that's what
you can call it.

It's not that bad.

If one more person
says that...

It's not that bad!

Don't all you guys out here
have a thing for blondes?

I mean,
that's what you told Kelly.

Blondes, brunettes, redheads,
girls in tank tops.

But, if you really
hate that color,

I, uh, have a friend
who does hair,
and he owes me a favor.

Oh, I don't
really hate the color.

But maybe we should
still go see him

for a second opinion
or something,
don't you think?

No problem.

I like your butt.

I mean, your bike.

Oh, well, thank you. Hop on.

My bike, that is.

♪ If I really wasn't in it

♪ Still I feel it so

♪ I know
Oh, I know... ♪

Have you been at the library
all this time?

Mostly, yeah.

Working, thinking, you know.

At the very least,
you get an A for effort.

Well, I expect to
get an A on the test.

That's what I like to hear.

But if you don't
it'll be okay.

Will it?

Well, of course, it will.

I mean,
that's what you guys say,

but that's not
what you really think.

If I get a C from Danzel,
or I end up
at Outer Swobobia State,

you guys would be
disappointed in me,

you'd be angry
with me, right?

Come on, Dad,
tell me the truth.

The truth?

Yeah, tell me what you want.

What I want in
regards to your life
and to your future,

is to see you smile again.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Well, look at you.

Yeah, back to basics.

At least we don't have to
join the circus anymore.

It looks different
than before.

Dylan says
it looks incandescent.

My friend Dylan?

My friend Dylan.

Hey, there.

Hi.

Brandon...
Andrea...

Look, um,
I'm not in the best of moods.

I was up all night studying.

I was, too.

What, making cheat notes?

It crossed my mind.

But if I cheated, I might
screw up the curve
for this friend of mine,

who I care about and respect
more than she knows.

Even if she can
be a royal pain.

I, uh, I have a friend
who's one of those.

Well, maybe
we should introduce them.

They'd probably
get along just great.

I doubt it.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

(STUDENTS CHATTERING)

So, are you prepared?

Yeah, I am.

I tore up
my copy of the test.

That's smart.
Burn the evidence.
It's safer that way.

Steve,
I couldn't bring myself
to look at it.

Man, you are hopeless.
What if you flunk the test?

I won't.

Now before we start the test,

I would like you
to listen to my instructions
very carefully.

Turn the test over,

look at it very closely.

Now tear it up.

That's right.
You heard me. Tear it up.

Go on, tear it up.

That's right.
Very good, very good.

Now,
as far as your mid-term goes,
instead of the test,

which you have
just destroyed,

I would like to know
what you think.

Your mid-term consists
of one essay question.

Using examples from history
to contrast with your answer,

what do you think
our government

should have done
in the 19th century

to save the American Indian?

That was a hard question,

but a good hard question.

I guess that depends
on what you studied for.

I've been giving
that same mid-term
for 15 years.

Some students might
even have gotten hold
of a copy of it by now,

you think?

Yeah, but, uh,
some students who may
have had a copy of it,

might have chosen
not to study from it

after they thought about it.

That's what I was thinking.

It's too bad
you're retiring this year.

(EXCLAIMS)

The semester isn't over yet.

If you think
the American Indian
was difficult,

wait till we get
to the Civil War.

Nice suit, by the way.

It is quite hideous,
isn't it?

Yeah,

but you wear it well.

Phew.