Original subtitles

- I'm telling you, It's a fantastic product.

I'd have my own granddad Invested...

If he was still alive, Poor guy.

- he's in a better place.

There is no Better place to be

Than our high yield Development loans.

The best part is,

You're not investing In some mall.

You are helping the people Of nickerson, kansas

Build themselves a church.

- tell him, john.

- no! We're decided.

- with these bonds, I can lock you in

At 10% a year.

In this market, the big man Himself can't beat that.

But don't thank him for A lower capital gains rate.

That's the work of my man Right there.

- well, like I said, We're decided.

Here you go, son.

20 years of savings Right there.

- that's great.

The best part is, With cash,

I can get you invested Today.

Folks...

You won't be sorry.

- ronnie.

- hey.

Whoa.

Here's the richmond's 30 grand for the boys.

Plus five for you And five for me.

- they know.

- the boys know We've been skimming.

Christ, what Are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do?

These people are mobsters.

They'll kill us.

I gotta go.

- f.B.I., put your hands up!

Any of you guys got aaa?

You're makin' that face.

- it's this clown.

Ronnie dalembert.

- ah, the affinity scammer.

- sells good samaritans On phony bonds

To build imaginary churches.

I don't even like church, I hate this guy.

Con men are the worst.

- they're great on the stand.

Blend in anywhere. They play ball.

- that's what they Want you to think.

- maintaining such a dim View of humanity--

Isn't it exhausting?

- that's why they make Energy drinks.

Look, marshall, we hide Murderers, smugglers,

Every crayon in The wise guy wannabe box.

But...Con men.

They don't just Take your money,

They rob you Of your dignity.

They leave you poor, Wide-eyed,

And stupid On the side of the road.

And if you think there's A chance in hell

This son of a bitch could Up and whistle a different tune,

I got a seaside condo in beirut I'd like to tell you about.

- maybe lay off The energy drinks.

- hey, you love this guy So much, he's all yours.

And, in advance, I told you so.

- I'm sure you have 1,000 questions.

- no, no, no. I'm all good.

- you've read the document In full?

- don't need to.

- because if you're At all hazy

On any of the details Of this agreement,

And you go off The reservation,

You'll be out like Madras pants.

- I'm all good.

I mean, new name, No medical records.

No credit. Yeah.

I've done that before.

Didn't even need The fakin' my death

Two-day head start This time.

Just gotta get a job.

Get that cash flowin' again.

But that's no sweat, 'cause I got a killer work ethic.

Ask around.

- we'd check your references,

But a majority of them Are deceased.

- look, I'm testifying Against a bunch of guys

Who have stolen A hell of a lot more than me.

Guys who will kill me.

You think I wanna Screw this up?

But yeah, So I stole some dough.

But I am not In their class.

And I'm working With you guys now.

You know, the good guys.

- a notable exception being

That you prey On charitable christians.

How you guys sleep at night, I'll never get it.

- I've always been A great sleeper.

- just sign the thing.

- evolution does funny, Funky things,

Inventing defense mechanisms So complex

They work just on Element of surprise.

Case study: when I was seven,

Scott halley and I caught A lizard in his backyard.

Hey, stan.

- burger king.

- well, grab me a whopper jr., No pickles.

Don't forget your mitt.

"A," get your own whopper. "B," I don't own a mitt.

Which follows since, see, I don't play softball.

- mary, it's marshals Versus p.D.

- I'm not a team player, stan.

And that's a direct quote

From last year's performance Appraisal.

Besides, my saturdays Are sacred.

- it's a recent development.

Look, team sports with coworkers Isn't fun, it's work.

And I don't work on my one Special, blessed day.

Good-bye, stan.

The lizard got scared, Shed its tail in scott's hand.

He started crying.

His dad said the tail Would grow back.

Blew our minds.

We never found it so we never Witnessed his resurrection.

Then, scott's parents split,

And he moved with his mom To sarasota.

Point is, to survive Is to let go...

Of old habits, big pieces Of yourself.

But phantoms remain.

Some will scar over. It ain't pretty.

But what is, If you look close enough?

Brandi, I'm late.

- I've got a surprise.

- yeah, and you know How much I love those.

It's mark.

- mark--he's in town, And he wants to see you.

- mark... That mark?

- yes, your ex-husband mark.

- don't say ex-husband.

We were married For less than a week,

20 years ago.

- okay, well, unlike you,

I am still facebook friends With people back in jersey.

And I was chatting Tina pasquale.

- tina pasquale heard About the internet?

- tina says mark's Really evolved.

- yeah, so's the taliban.

Look, tina, by the way--

- married the p.E. Teacher, I know, I know.

His status updates Are hilarious.

- see, this is why I'm not on facebook.

And by the way, Just because he's in town

Doesn't mean I need to lay Eyes on my--

And I'm only saying it Because you did--

Ex-husband.

Mark.

- hey.

- since 1970,

The federal Witness protection program

Has relocated Thousands of witnesses,

Some criminal, some not,

To neighborhoods All across the country.

Every one of those individuals Shares a unique attribute

Distinguishing them From the rest

Of the general population.

And that is, Somebody wants them dead.

- wow.

Blazer and a blackberry.

What, are you Playing dress

- heh, well, I knew I was gonna see you.

Blackberry's fake.

He owns his own business.

- let me guess-- Ticket scalping.

Silent partner in an otb.

- actually, it's something A lot more exciting.

I'm in the heating And ventilation game.

- so if you have any problems With your pipes,

I can go get my tool belt.

What, you're not buying?

- buy the tool part.

So, what are you Doing here anyway?

- uh, he's in town For the h-vac convention.

- this year's all about Chilled beam...Technology.

Really?

- yeah. - listen, if you want,

I can, you know, Pull some strings,

See if I can get you Some tickets.

Just say the word.

Yeah.

So this seems kind of, um...

Stalkery.

- no! Your sister set it up.

Blame social networking.

- I'd love to,

But I'd really just Rather blame my sister.

- you haven't aged at all.

You haven't aged a day.

All right, maybe A couple months.

- uh-huh. - maybe.

Seriously, you look Unbelievable.

- right. Well, We both look unbelievable.

Social conventions.

Listen, I've got This thing across town, so...

- yeah, right. Brandi said you were a marshal?

- she's pretty important.

- too important To have dinner with me?

For old times' sake.

- yeah, I wouldn't Sell old times.

- mary, play nice.

- okay, listen, What's gonna get you

Out of my house the fastest?

Fine, dinner. Yes. - yes!

- I make it a point never To sell past the sale.

This is me leaving.

- right. - bye.

Both: bye.

- oh, my god.

How sweet is he? - oh, my god.

- I mean, 20 years later, He's still totally on fire.

- brandi, I think it's great

You're getting Your life together.

Your bra is completely Showing, by the way.

But I don't need Your charity.

Okay, don't fix me up.

Not with the most recent guy You just suckered

Into buying a convertible.

Not with some club foot Divorcee

From peter's synagogue.

- he has a shoe That fixes it.

- and certainly not With my ex

- oh, now he's Your ex-husband.

Yeah, okay.

Are you going to work?

It's saturday!

- good morning.

- mmm, very good morning.

- you southern methodists

Must do something About your p.R.

People have got The wrong idea.

Where are you going?

I thought we could take A couple showers,

Tandem-style.

- oh, and while it pains me To decline

Your generous offer,

It's the last day Of the rare book show,

And I've had a first edition Of elmer gantry

On reserve for 36 hours.

- ohh! If I wasn't Turned on before.

Also, I've got to get home To change.

- things are going Good for us.

Isn't it time you started Keeping some of your stuff here?

- oh, boy.

- even, and I hope this Isn't too forward,

But...

I got you a lock box.

It's fitted out for A glock 23.

There's room For your tac light too.

- it's...Beautiful.

Here's the thing.

- many guys Are commitment-phobic.

I, on the other hand, Have been accused

Of virulent Commitment-philia.

- and the lock box is a sign

That I'm A commitment-phile too.

- today, it's a lock box.

Tomorrow, we're fighting Over paint chips

And planning Our christmas card.

- it's april.

I've been known To april christmas shop.

Look, I don't wanna Ruin this.

We need to take things slowly.

Just till we know it's real.

Can you do slow?

- I can try.

Can you?

- I'm actually not sure.

- whoa.

Mary.

Long time, no see.

- six months, three weeks, Two days.

But who's counting?

- you are looking so... Centered.

- christ.

Can we talk?

Privately.

- yeah.

Um, pete, I'm gonna Catch up with an old friend.

I'll be in the back If you need me.

Gosh. Mary shepherd.

Follow me.

Welcome.

Wow.

This this all yours, huh?

- yeah. - hate to admit it, ronnie,

But looks like you Might have actually

Turned into a decent guy.

I think my girl Danica would agree.

Hm. You know, I just wish

All your other witnesses

Could channel The amazing energy out here.

It's the negative ions.

They increase the flow of oxygen To your brain.

It's...

- ions. Right.

Well, the shop Sure looks busy.

- I'm killing it.

Had to hire two new Part-timers last month.

- wow. Good for you.

So...Anything else I need to know?

Really?

Are we?

Is all this knowable?

- so true.

All right, then, This officially concludes

Our surprise Witsec inspection.

See you soon.

- broseph!

Great to see you.

Ha! Hey, love that tie.

- oh, it's an 80%-20% Silk-cashmere blend.

- so dope!

So...Have you, uh,

Given any thought To our discussion?

- I did, um, a number Of analysts said

You can't get 1% a month right now.

Love it.

- it's all about leveraging The carry trade.

We buy government-backed Mortgage securities

Yielding 6%.

Thanks to allied reliant's Unique relationship

With the bank of japan,

We pledge those bonds As collateral

To borrow at 0%.

Easy-peasy.

- I think I'm ready to invest.

- great.

'cause, with cash,

I can get you invested Today.

You won't be sorry.

- sorry is the last thing I'll be.

- you know... I been pickin' up

A lot of negative ions In here.

Or are those positive ions?

- he's-- - yes, he is.

You mind taking a walk?

- wait, I was Under investigation?

- sure looks that way.

- not yet.

I'd ask you for the details,

But you'll only Have to repeat them

For the sec-- That'll be fun.

Nice work, noob.

Best saturday I've had in years.

By the way, I've been On to you for a while.

- freeze! F.B.I.! Don't move!

- don't move! Get your hands up!

- I'm a u.S. Marshal, You idiots!

- someone should have Called ahead.

Heh.

- I thought I'd surprise him.

- certainly surprised The f.B.I.,

Not to mention your partner,

Whose witness this is. How's it goin'?

- ladies, how about A couple back slaps,

A little "Nice work"?

The scumbag Is scamming again.

I mean, the fact that the f.B.I. Was onto him too

Is beside the point.

In fact, no, actually, It is the point.

You have no point.

- I have a point. I was right!

- all right, all right. That's enough.

I am operating an office With many masters, mary.

It's hard, okay? It's hard. I got a hard job!

And I authorize you To investigate a witness--

- my witness.

If you got some kind of hang-up About con men--

- which she does. - stan, I was doing my job.

- your job is To make my job easier.

You had dirt on ronnie, You should have told me.

- chief mcqueen.

Dana taylor from financial Crimes is on the phone.

Wants a sit- down At her office.

- ronnie mcintire Is a protected witness.

You tell her our witness, Our turf.

I'll tell her myself.

- man...It was gonna be Such a good day.

Bust a bad guy, Watch some crappy tv.

Curl up in bed With a box of wine.

Now...This is all Screwed up,

And I got a date with My ex-husband.

- oh, yeah.

I was married for five days When I was 17.

- it was no big deal.

We were young and stupid.

Well, we were young And he was stupid.

Anyway, he's in town for An air conditioning convention.

Wow, there is no way To make that sound sexy.

Whatever, we'll probably Just go to zinc,

Drink too much, And get in a fight, you know,

For old times' sake.

You have an ex-husband.

- you know me. I don't like to brag.

- unbelievable.

- so you just blew up A six-month operation.

Thousands of man hours gone

With no actionable Intelligence to show for it.

- f.B.I. Should be used To a lack of intelligence.

And for the record, you got In the way of my investigation.

Ronnie mcintire Isn't ronne mcintire,

He's my witness.

Actually, he's My partner's witness,

But just so we're On the same page here,

We're his witsec inspectors.

- I'm actually with fugitive Investigations.

- shut it, eberhardt.

- it's a silent "T," "Eberhard."

- so that's why ronnie Doesn't exist...

- before 2009.

What do you think Was going on here, dana?

- con men. False identity.

We see it all the time.

The ironic twist here is--

I think I'm using The word correctly--

Is you guys Helped him create it.

- yeah, because you guys In the windbreakers

Already busted him In nevada,

And he testified In a trial last year.

It's called--gosh, I hope I'm using the term correctly--

Witness protection.

- so your little sting--

What was that supposed To accomplish?

- I was gonna bounce him Out of the program,

Turn him over to the sec.

- you mean the sec,

Cftc, and irs?

This fund he hooked into Is huge.

Way bigger than your guy.

We should have Coordinated, stan.

- witness protection's A classified program.

And your investigation Was a secret.

Just paint me a picture of how That would have gone down.

- all right, all right.

Look, what happened, happened.

Bottom line is u.S. Attorney's Hip-deep in this case.

So let's just bury the hatchet And grab a mop.

- you realize you're not Just out of the program, right?

You're on a bullet train To making

A whole lot Of new friends in prison

For what sounds like A hilariously long time.

- I don't see that happening.

As usual, you guys Got this all bunched up.

Look, forget The carry trade fund.

You're missing The big picture.

- marshall, carry trade, 50 words or less.

- it's all based on libor.

The london interbank Offering rate.

I'll send you some websites. - I shouldn't have asked.

That's my fault. - big picture, gang.

You let me cooperate,

I deliver you You julian conran.

- please. No way julian conran's

Involved in some Two-bit scam.

- right. Except This two-bit scam

Is not what It appears to be.

And I know where The money's going.

It's guns.

This isn't about Robbing people.

It's about funding Julian conran's arms business.

The fund buys guns.

That money Needs to be cleaned.

And it all flows through Allied reliant.

Look, I am gonna build You guys a case so airtight,

It would make noah jealous.

Noah, he built an ark.

Yeah. Course, That means you need to drop

All charges against me.

I love it.

- if you testify against Julian conran

And allied reliant--

- yeah. - no.

No! No! No!

We're not giving this weasel Another bite at the apple.

Do we even do that?

Stan, I'm gonna Steal a desk,

Loop in the attorney general's Office.

- you gotta be kidding me. You gotta be kidding me.

This guy, this parasite, Goes right back

To running another scam, Gets caught by us,

And now we're gonna what?

- think of it less As parasitic than symbiotic.

It's a win-win. - win-win.

- that's how you're Gonna sell this?

- we clear this with The attorney general's office.

Odds are, you'll maintain Your status

In the program,

And you'll be relocated Once again.

About that... - look...

We bring these guys down,

I am gonna be the most Valuable witness

The marshal service Has ever seen.

And I'm not waking up In albuquerque.

More platinum plus relocation.

Now, we're gonna Need to get creative.

Oceanfront steez.

- you realize That this is a scam, right?

This is, right now. - we'll know more tomorrow.

For now, if you can just go grab His w.C. File, please.

- sure, no problem. Anything else?

Want a cocktail? - yeah.

- the sooner you get on board,

The sooner we get him Out of our hair.

- I miss you already.

- seriously, take it down A notch.

Give yourself a blemish.

I'm only one man. You look unbelievable.

Your one line?

- I'm pacing myself.

I'm on a one-adjective- A-week plan.

- I see.

- whoa!

You like it here?

I thought you said It was too...Something.

You must be mark. I'm marhsall, mary's partner.

This is abigail. - I'm the girlfriend.

- hey, mark, mary.

- uh-huh.

- hey, fun idea.

Let me see if they Have a table for four.

- that is fun. I'll supervise.

Is this 'cause I put Your cell phone in jell

- this is because, Once upon a time,

You got to grill my dad On my youthful indiscretions.

And you know what they say About payback.

Hi. Do you have A table for four?

- it was only A carton of cigarettes!

- you didn't know They were stolen?

- she figured it out.

- yeah, when the police kicked The motel door in.

- it was a hotel.

- when the only amenity Is an out-of-order ice machine,

I'm pretty sure That's a motel.

- anyway, it turns out

Stealing a carton of smokes

Really puts a crimp In the old honeymoon.

- yeah, also, He banged the cleaning girl.

- she was the receptionist.

Receptionist. Cut a guy some slack.

- I do, actually. Actually, I do.

Like he was 17, And what do 17

They steal stuff And bang cleaning girls.

- you are very forgiving.

- 17-year-olds shouldn't Be getting married.

It was a long time ago. We were kids.

Actually got divorced On our honeymoon.

- how romantic. - yes.

- she was, back then.

In a tough sort of way. - hmm.

A sandpaper romantic.

So do you guys Live together?

- no. No, no, No, no, no.

- no, actually, That's a good question.

- we do not live together.

We are taking things Good and slow.

Tell us all about that.

- um...Well...

Abigail and I recently Discovered

We're both commitment Junkies.

Without proper monitoring, There's the potential

For implosion.

And the torch Has been passed.

You are officially More dysfunctional than I am.

- yeah, I don't know you guys, But, believe me,

I've made very mistake In the book.

- books, plural.

What is that?

You're just lying To yourselves.

Slow is for suckers.

Jump to the truth.

Bedroom or couch? I'm good either way,

But full disclosure-- I'm not 17 anymore.

I got this back thing.

- less talk, more couch.

- mm, more couch, good.

Wait, hold on--there's Something I need to tell you.

- I still have a dancer's body.

- you're welcome.

What if your mom Busts in again?

- you have no idea How possible that is.

- mark.

Mark!

Oh, my god. This is fun.

Mark...Let's go.

I gotta go to work.

- it's sunday.

- I'll sneak Into confession after.

Come on, this isn't a b&b.

- if you're doing that To turn me on,

It's working.

It was fun.

We went, like, Almost six hours

Without a screaming match.

- I was tired.

- not that tired.

- you gotta leave To find out, right?

Come on, let's go.

- will you excuse me For a second?

Hi.

- hi, stranger.

- I'm good, thanks.

Did you have a good time With mary?

- yeah, she's still Got that, uh...

- I was gonna say spark.

- okay, good.

There's something I wanted to run by him.

Kind of a business thing.

- okay, attorney general Approved the operation.

Congratulations, you're still A protected witness.

- gosh, you know What would be awesome?

If the f.B.I. Could just do its job

And gather enough evidence To raid conrad's place

Without using this tool.

- but julian never gets His hands dirty,

And you'll never Get a warrant.

That said, The guy's got problems.

- the kind where His arms route to mexico

Stalls out.

- it stalled because we just

Shut down two tunnels Under el paso.

- I got an idea.

Ooh, this is gonna work. Trust me.

- "Trust me." What is that, a reflex?

- julian throws these parties

For high net worth investors

At his place in scottsdale.

You guys get me in there, You will nail that bastard

On fraud and arms dealing.

Just gotta give him What he wants,

And reopen those tunnels.

- sure, just need to liaise

With our colleagues On the ground.

You'll consent To wearing a wire?

- oh, I'll wear anything. Except jean shorts.

- look, dana, The thing is that--

- a witness going undercover Is a nonstarter

Unless his inspectors Are there to secure his safety.

- and when was the last time You worked undercover?

We're always undercover.

That's the job.

Seriously, in my real life, I'm a total bitch.

- we need to get conran Making the deal.

Not some flunky who May or may not flip.

Conran.

- good news is-- Oh, and this is perfect--

Julian's got A thing for blondes

With big tits.

- that is good news.

- if lacking in originality.

- a little bit.

- here's a game.

I vouch For the texas hookup.

Marshall's there As your what?

Financial advisor.

And mary, You're my new lover.

- say "Lover" again. I dare ya.

This is the best sunday I've had in years.

- so we're clear.

We sit tight here In the catering van.

Marshall, you get The financial pitch.

Mary gets conran's gun sale On tape.

She's wired.

- her earrings.

We've got agents In with the caterers

In the backyard.

The key is getting julian To the bedroom.

There's a camera planted Next to his bed

In the alarm clock.

We get one shot at this,

So...Do what You have to do.

- all right, Mary's waiting for you.

You good to go?

- good enough.

- oh, those look good. What are they?

- roasted chanterelles On a pecorino tuille.

Great, that clears it up.

- hmm. No, thank you.

Can I get you a drink, Donna?

- I'd love a tonic With this much gin.

Maybe hold the tonic.

- I'll just take two. They're small.

Bad guys always Have the best food.

- ah, you know what This reminds me of?

- I used to run the marshal's Special operations group.

- is this the part Where I ask

If you've ever Shot anyone?

- not this year, but...

It's still early.

You holdin' up?

- okay, thanks to Some double-sided tape.

- hmm.

Sucking up To colonel sanders?

- yep. Ooh, I got that dude in.

He's flush.

- yeah, well, not for long.

- ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen.

Please gather round.

If I may have your attention For one second.

First of all, Thank you all for coming.

I hope you've had a drink...

Or three.

Um, I am so pleased To be offering

A new round of investment In our carry trade fund.

But, you know what?

I am not the guy To explain

This very complicated fund To you.

For that, I have The magnificent sam.

Sam, get up here. Do your thing.

Thank y'all for coming. Talk to you soon.

- welcome, welcome, everyone.

Thank you so much for joining us On this beautiful day.

So we're all here For one reason.

- and we're up.

- julian. - hey.

- this is, uh, My, uh, friend.

- right, mrs. Frechette.

Miss.

Julian, I hope You don't mind.

I brought my money guy.

- my favorite kind of guy.

Shall we?

- please.

- you'll have to excuse me.

I'm a tad security minded.

How can I put you at ease?

- well, a little frisking Never hurt anybody.

Guys, do your thing.

Wouldn't want To sully the mood

With a gun or a wire.

- no.

- sure.

- would you object To a little pat down?

- never.

Here, let me help.

So you boys don't miss Anything along the way.

- hmm. - mm-hmm.

- my compliments.

Ronnie, would you please Take mr. Money and go mingle?

- if we're talking business, I'd prefer to be present.

- I'd prefer to conduct My business in private.

I hope that's not a problem.

- it's okay, pete.

Go on.

I'm sure you'll be Welcome back

When it's time to dot the is.

- well, I'm a world-class Mingler.

Ronnie.

- so... - so...

- you and ronnie...

You're, uh, what, exactly?

We try not to label it.

Anyway, when he looks at me

All he sees are dollar signs.

- then he's not as sharp As I thought.

That's my wife.

She's in utah.

With my best friend.

- some friend.

- we make it work.

So I understand you have A supply problem.

Down in tay-has.

- such a crime, this pipeline Right into mexico.

- and who, exactly, Would be on the other side?

- my business partner.

- you're gonna have To do better than that.

I mean, you're the one Who's out of luck down there.

I'm the one with the money.

Or am I missing something?

- no, it's just that I don't Deal with intermediaries.

- funny, me neither.

- ms. Frechette-- - donna.

- donna.

I don't know you... Donna...

And I need To feel comfortable.

- I flew the small plane here, Mr. Conrad.

I hate the small plane.

Now, you're the one With the problem

Down in tay-has.

You wanna know the name Of my business partner?

Someday, maybe.

But right now,

All you need to know Is that I'm the one

Who's gonna get your tunnels Opened up.

- mm-hmm.

- give me a second.

I need to make a phone call.

- so let's talk About tax implications...

As in how to avoid Paying them.

- that should be me Up there.

Guy's a total amateur.

- quiet, I'm begging you.

- I'm impressed.

The tunnels are open.

It seems I've underestimated you.

- you're all smiles.

- I'm just replaying our Little security check.

- so...

What's a girl gotta do

To get a grand tour Around here, hmm?

- she's gotta follow me.

'cause the grand tour Starts in the bedroom.

- mind reader.

- there we go.

- gosh, I bet all the kids

Love hangin' out At your house, huh?

- indeed they do.

- look at all these toys.

- so I think...

This is what you're after.

Lightweight, compact,

And with a slightly Longer barrel,

You have an effective range Of 50 meters.

- hmm.

How many can I get?

Well, that would depend On the price, now, wouldn't it?

And I've been thinking...

- not good. Not good.

I need to ask you A question.

- hmm, getting all... Existential?

- you need...What I have.

Say it.

- I need what you have.

- ah, here we go.

See? I told you It would be fine.

So, should we, um...

Run through this Real quick?

Compact automatic hand guns.

What's say we start At 500 pieces.

Price?

- mil and a half.

- 1.3. - 1.4.

- half on the back end.

Speaking of which.

- right, but...

Till we're good and square, It's...

Still about being comfortable, Isn't it?

- well, that's a pity.

Charles, we have a deal.

- good!

So then we'll take delivery In brownsville.

Is tomorrow night too soon?

No such thing.

700, that'd be half.

Now...

Shall we get back To business?

- absolutely.

Just gotta run through Some fine print,

And then I have every intention Of picking up

Where I left off.

- excellent. - ah, charles.

The fine print.

Ronnie here vouched for you, But, see, you're new.

So I'm going To hang on to ronnie

Until the sale clears.

That's called insurance.

- don't you wanna keep somebody I actually care about?

Keep my financial advisor.

Hell, keep me.

- well, as enticing As that sounds,

My wife gets back tomorrow.

It could be awkward.

And if ronnie's Not important to you,

Why do you care If we hang on to him?

- we're not leaving A protected witness behind.

- we got him; we'll get ronnie On the other side of the buy.

- bad news, guys. We're going in. Let's go.

- I came with him I plan on leaving with him.

- then your plans need To be amended.

- julian, if I can Jump in here for a second--

- ronnie, dear, The grown-ups are talking.

- I'm a u.S. Marshall, And whatever you're thinking

About doing, you probably Wanna think again.

- ronnie, Get in the bathroom, now!

- uhh!

Uhh!

Hyuh! - uhh!

- phone!

You could have Asked for help!

I had it Under control.

Both: no!

You have one new message.

- hey, it's brandi.

I wanted to talk to you About mark.

Peter said he's not Hiring right now.

Uh, I was thinking Maybe you could tell him.

Anyway, hope you had fun Wherever you were.

- gift.

- thanks.

- you're welcome.

So, uh, what do you like?

Sushi, mexican?

- um...Listen, I'm not...

I'm not really hungry.

Um...

Brandi--brandi left me A weird message.

She said that you Asked peter for a job.

- I can explain that.

Just hear me out, okay?

I got downsized--

- look, I don't really-- Save the sales pitch.

- so I get this idea For my own business,

My own thing.

I pay my way out here For this convention--

- mark, stop. - I didn't lie to you.

I could have Made up a story.

- you didn't have to. You're the same guy I knew.

These are the same moves. - that's not fair.

It's not true. - honestly, I really don't care.

- no!

It's 20 years later.

What'd you think Was gonna happen?

- before I came here, I don't know.

But then I saw you. We still have a good time.

You gonna tell me you didn't Have a good time on our date?

- it was hardly date. - we had dinner.

- it wasn't a date. We never dated.

- you know, not for nothin',

But I'm a good salesman.

And I could earn For your brother-in-law.

- except he's not My brother-in-law yet.

He's just some Rich guy, right?

Look, let's not-- Let's...

Hey, look a half A lifetime ago,

We were really good At one thing.

Turns out, half a lifetime Later, we still are, so...

- mm-hmm.

You were always An unbelievable kisser.

- you too. Unbelievable.

Good night.

- see, this one Is a compound.

This one says estate.

- just pick a house.

As tempting as it may be To brag,

Resist the urge.

We can't know.

You'll fly through miami,

Where you'll be officially Handed over

To your new inspector.

I think I speak for The entire department

When I say, "We can't wait."

- you know, I never saw myself In a french colonial,

But these views, uhh, Come on.

- okay, I'm done.

- do you believe we're just Rolling out the red carpet

For this douche bag?

- that's what we do. We keep douche bags honest,

And occasionally remunerate them Even when they aren't.

- oh, disappearing.

It's not a bad deal.

No baggage, no... Exes tracking you down.

So you and mark are...

- I just couldn't be a ticket For a movie I'd already seen.

So...

How are things with abigail?

- good.

- good.

- I averted my eyes.

- when you did that, You know,

With your dress. I averted my eyes.

It might not Have looked like it,

But I didn't see-- - oh, oh! Oh, my god.

- well, I don't know.

I was hoping some sort Of alarm or earthquake

Or something would Save us from you

Talking about my-- - guys...

I figured it out.

- I can't tell you Where I'm going.

But don't worry, It is crazy nice.

Two words:

Infinity pool.

- toothbrush.

Changes of underwear-- Two.

Body wash.

- I've got body wash.

- addendum: non-hibiscus-scented Body wash.

And finally...

I'm ready to put my gun In your lock box.

- I should have practiced That speech

On the way over.

- you don't have to practice Anything for me.

*

- firearm!

Clear!

- forward progress is impeded

By several immutable laws:

Inertia, friction, Fear of the unknown,

And unhealthy obsession With the past.

- but somehow, Improbable as it seems,

We find ourselves Lurching into the future,

Inch by inch.

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