Original subtitles

Whoa, whoa there.

Afternoon, Dr. Adams.

Well, Charity, how are you?

I'm fine, I guess.

I was just on my way back to town

and I thought I'd just drop by and see your father.

How is he?

He's wasting away more every day.

Is that so? Any pain?

You'd not likely know from him.

- Festus came by early this morning. - Oh?

Him and Pa are out clearing a new field.

Isn't that something to fathom out?

Well, I don't know, knowing your father.

I'm not at all surprised.

It's a sad waste of time.

Maybe not.

Charity, maybe at this point,

Festus can do more for Jeb than I can.

All right.

All right, Jeb.

Let's give her another whirl.

Come on, boy, come on, boy, come on, boy.

That's it.

No, no, ain't no good, Jeb.

She ain't coming out.

Whew.

Now that's what I call being plain stubbornacious.

Well, we got her boogered

and battered but she ain't fixing to give up just yet.

Well, there's some that just don't know

when to say quit, Festus.

Give me that there ax.

You know, with enough water, this here field's

gonna turn out some fine crops come summer.

Have you wished for your well yet, have ye?

Yeah, got the strong sign over yonder as a matter of fact.

Come next week we'll pick us a couple of days

and start the digging.

You ain't gonna do no such thing.

Why not?

You know you done plenty already.

Oh, foot.

You've been akeeping track, have ye?

I sure have.

Festus, when time comes, give a looksee to Charity for me,

will you, see she gets her foot

stepping the right direction?

Oh, Jeb, quit talking that a way.

Well, it ain't so bad and I ain't one bit scared of it.

Except for thinking about her.

It's sad what you do by loving your young'uns too much,

holding 'em too tight and too long.

Gets so you can't let 'em go.

Hand me that there ax.

All right, Jeb, you got my word.

Morning, Matthew, Doc.

Well, Festus.

Good heavens, I shoulda known better.

What are you mumbling about?

Sit down, Festus.

Well, I'll sit down and drink a cup of coffee

with you, Matthew, I already done that.

Who paid for it?

Doc, you'd be might as well smooth your old bristles back,

'cause you ain't afixing to spoil my day

with one of your blamed arguments.

Matthew, what I've came by to tell you

is that I'm fixing to go out to Jeb Spencer's place.

We're gonna start digging the well.

Oh here we are, Matt.

My gosh am I ready for this.

Thank you, Hank.

Well now, you know, I have saw me some palatsomelooking

eggs in my born days, but I never seen no eggs

that is as palatsome as them eggs is right there.

Festus, where in thunder did you get a word like that?

Like what?

Palatable.

- I didn't say... - I know what you said.

You said palatsome.

Well, you meant to say palatable.

I never meant no such a thing.

Just a minute, I'm trying to help you.

There's isn't any such a word at all as palatsome.

Now, there isn't.

Doc, you're just abusting to stir up scrap with me, ain't ya?

Stir up a fight with you?

That's the last...

Festus, all I wanted this morning was for you

to sleep late enough so I could get down here

and have a nice, quiet, peaceful breakfast with Matt.

That's all I wanted.

Matthew, ain't he just pure old dee amazing?

Here I come in with a friendly howdy of a start

of a new day and before you can say rat run over the roof

of the house a piece of raw liver in his mouth,

he starts to ragging me, six days to Sunday,

accusing me of mowing the cad,

just little old sunnysideup eggs and I done told him,

I done eat.

I'll tell you what it is,

it's the getting old that's adoing it to him.

He's just getting so blamed old that the years

have just soured him up to where he's like a old percinnamon.

He ain't even fit to share a conservation with,

let alone a measly little old 35 cent breakfast.

Festus, you shouldn't do that to old Doc.

Do what, Matthew?

Pass the pepper, will ye?

Festus.

Oh howdy, Doc.

I wanna talk to you, Festus.

Charity just drove Jeb into town.

Oh, is he up at your office, is he?

He's at Percy Crump's.

He died last night in his sleep.

Oh, Doc.

Only a matter of time, Festus.

I reckon so.

Where's Charity at now?

Ma Smalley's.

Obliged, Doc.

Festus.

Charity.

Well, I reckon we all know it was bound to happen.

It sure is bitter medicine to swallow

when it actual does happen, ain't it?

I can't cry, Festus.

Well, that there wouldn't help nothing nohow.

It's terrible but all I can think about is all those years

me wanting shed of him and now I am and I...

Well, Jeb, he'd understand that.

He didn't make me stay.

He just never let me go.

Charity, that there is one thing

that sorried your pa something fierce.

Now, he told me that his own self.

Well, Mr. Crump said the burying can be in two days.

I'll take care of everything.

Thank you, Festus.

Oh, there's some of Pa's things in the wagon.

Some trapping gear, some guns, some other things.

You figure I could sell them and the horse and wagon?

Yes'm, I reckon you could.

But don't you fret about that now.

I'll take care of it all.

Thank you.

I appreciate that.

After Pa's burying, I'm going to Abilene.

You're going where?

I vowed myself one day I'd do it.

Now's the time.

If I don't go now, I never will.

- Well, you can't just up - I've got to, Festus,

before it's too late.

I know there's more than what I've seen

and I'm gonna see it.

Look.

"Coberly Hotel for Genteel Ladies, heart of Abilene.

Convenient to all points of interest.

Reasonable rates, day, week, or month."

See?

Charity, I gave your pa my word that I'd look after you.

Look after me?

Festus, I'm 28 years old.

Oh, I've been looked after all my life.

All I've ever known is the farm, the farm the bank owns.

I've been brought to Dodge to buy supplies

and taken to church for Sunday service.

Why, the farthest away I've ever been to

in my whole life is Spivey, Spivey.

Well, that's past now, that's done.

From now on, I'm being looked after by me.

Well, Charity, you're the...

No, Festus, nothing you can say, nothing.

After Pa's burying, I'm going, and that's final.

I thought it was a nice, dignified burying.

Sort of a puny gathering.

Anyway, Charity will be on her way to Abilene soon

and you know something, Newly?

I think it'll do her good.

That your opinion is it, Burke?

Sure can't hurt her any.

I mean, look at her.

Keep your voice down, will you?

I just can't understand why Festus

is so worked up over her leaving.

Because he gave his word to Jeb

he'd look after her, that's why.

As far as he's moving to Abilene, that's impossible.

You know what he oughta do?

He oughta get her things together and sell 'em

and wipe his hands completely clean of the whole thing.

Now, let's look at it logically.

She's young, she's full of life.

As far as Jeb's concerned, he's dead and buried

and there ain't nothing he could do about it anyway.

You got a way of cutting it to the bone, Burke.

I'll say that for you.

I'm sorry, Festus, but I don't think Mr. Lathorpe

would want me to buy any old clothes.

Well, wait a minute now, Halli, just wait a minute.

What about these here varmint traps here?

Festus, I already told you...

They ought to be worth five dollars if they're worth a penny.

But Mr. Lathorpe is sick and I haven't got the authority

to buy anything, Festus.

- Good morning, Ms. Kitty. - Hello, Charlie

I'll have the coffee you ordered ground for you in just a minute.

All right, fine.

Morning, Ms. Kitty.

Hello, Festus.

I see you're still trying to sell all these things

for Charity Spencer.

Yes'm. She's fixing to leave tomorrow.

Nobody buying, huh?

Oh, some will buy all right, or steal is more what it is.

See, I figured if I couldn't do nothing else at all,

I could at least get her a fair price for her belongings

'cause she's gonna need all the cash she can

lay her hands on to go into Abilene.

Yeah.

How much you figure all this is worth?

Well, that there is a pretty sorry excuse for a horse.

And with the rig and all it oughta be worth $40.

But I'll be lucky if I can get half that much.

You see, Ms. Charity, she ain't letting me have no time

to do no dealing, don't you see?

Hm.

Festus, what would you say if I just advanced you the $40

and then you could take the time in order to get

the right price for all these things?

Would you do that, Ms. Kitty?

You come on by the Long Branch later,

I'll have the money ready for you.

Say in about an hour.

Thank you for everything, Festus.

Oh, you're mighty welcome, Charity.

And you take care of yourself, you hear me?

Oh, don't worry about me.

Well, I will be.

Stage is rolling, load 'em up.

Now, Charity, I wanna tell you one thing

No, everything's gonna be fine, Festus, really it is.

Oh, I can feel it.

Inside of me, I can feel it.

Be happy for me, Festus.

Like the man says, I'm gonna see the elephant.

Well just so as you know, the safest place to look

at an elephant is from a couple yards back.

Stand clear, Whiskers, I'm late now.

- Hep. - Bye, Charity.

Well, this here's the last one of Charity Spencer's things

that I got left and I been saving it just special for you.

But I don't need two lamps, Festus.

Well I know you don't, but you buy this here

and then you can throw that there'un away.

Well, why would I do that?

Well, you just got done saying you don't need two lamps.

- Yes, but I don't... - Well, just hold your bust

now till I get done telling you about this here lamp.

Now, look here.

I swear, if that Burke owned his self a whole herd

of Texas longhorn steers, you could still sell him

a load of fertilizer.

Where you been akeeping yourself, Doc?

Well, I've been busy.

How are things with you?

Oh, everything's fine now that I've shed all them things

of Charity Spencer's.

Well, did you sell everything?

Got $19 for the lot.

$19?

You betcha, Doc.

And I wanna tell you something.

I square dealed with everybody, except for Burke.

He don't count.

You know something that's unbelievable to me?

What?

For someone who can't read or write,

you're so doggone good about counting money.

And you don't spend any.

All right, there you go.

You old scutter, we haven't saw each other to palaver

for three blamed weeks, and you don't get ten words

out of your mouth and you gotta start in

with your blamed insultments.

It's been over three weeks.

Oh, you just been acounting the days

till you get started on me, huh?

Just hold on a minute.

Just wait a minute.

Don't bust a gusset.

I got some good news for you.

What's that?

Well, Hank sold Charity's horse and rig for you.

Thunder he did, what'd he get for it?

More than you expected.

Well, glory.

Much obliged, Doc.

Festus, that's the fourth time you've counted that.

Kitty, ever since I taught him to count,

he just counts and counts and counts.

Festus, you're getting to be quite a business man.

Yeah, he's quite a salesman all right.

Got me to give him $2 for a kerosene lamp

with a cracked chimney in it.

All right, Ms. Kitty, there it is, your $40 back.

And I sure am much obliged to ye.

It was my pleasure, Festus.

What are you gonna do with the rest of it?

Well, how much more is there?

I make $11.

Well say, that's fine.

Now you can stand for a round of beers for all of us.

Oh now, Doc, I'd like to, but

No, that's just fine.

Go on and crawfish out of it.

Oh now, I ain't exactly crawfishing.

Now, I

I think that Festus probably has better places

for that money rather than buying us all beers.

Isn't that right, Festus?

You betcha, Ms. Kitty.

The mainest thing is I gotta get it

to Charity Spencer in Abilene.

Charity Spencer?

Really?

Well, this here is her money.

You know, Festus, it seems like $11 is just a fair price

for what you did for her.

Burke, what I done for her wasn't did for no price,

don't you see?

Festus, if you'd like me to, I'll write you out

a bank draft for that $11.

Bank draft?

Well, it's safer mailing it than cash.

Oh, I wasn't figuring on mailing it, Matthew.

Wait a minute, you're not gonna take it to her, are you?

Well, I figured old Jeb would kinda like that

if I was to do it, Doc.

That's a long ride, Festus.

It'll take you quite awhile.

Well, Matthew, see you got Newly here

in case you is to need somebody.

He can help you out.

Festus, you've already spent two whole weeks

selling everything for her

and now you mean you're gonna go all the way to Abilene

to deliver that money to her personally?

Yes'm, that's what I'm fixing to do.

Whoa, whoa.

Ruth, how in tarnation did you throw a shoe?

Can I do some now, Chad?

You pulled them weeds around the wheelhouse?

Yep.

Put those cow droppings in Mama's flowerbed?

Brung up and spread.

All right, grab a stick, start mixing some up.

Ain't but two batches left and fitter to milk already.

No matter.

It's all we got, it's gonna have to do.

How many more days till the party?

Ain't a party, it's a heap more than that.

I know it is, but there'll be a party afterwards.

How many more days?

In two weeks yet.

Howdy, fellers.

Mama, Mama, he's here.

There he is, Mama, right yonder.

Howdy, ma'am.

Glory be, wasn't due for a week or more.

Mama, is that him?

I don't know, I don't know what he looks like.

Who else would be out here in the middle of nowhere?

Chad, run quick, fetch the scatter gun just in case.

Now, it ain't that I stepped down without a-asking.

My mule pulled up lame, throwed a shoe.

Put your hands up and stay right there, mister.

What in tarnation is this?

Don't you move, mister.

You're not Mr. Schuldenhaus?

No, ma'am, I ain't.

Now, boy, you just back off with that gun.

You mind saying what you want?

No, ma'am, I don't mind at all.

Like I told you, my mule throwed a shoe.

What I'm awanting is to set him with a new one.

Name is Haggen, Festus Haggen from Dodge City.

- You're a ways from home. - Yes'm.

Making for Abilene.

And, ma'am, if you'd have that young'un of yours

put that gun down, it'd be a heap easier talking.

For awhile there had me wishing

I was that Schuldenhaus feller.

- I sure ain't sorry you ain't. - Clay.

Would you wanna marry up with him?

Marry?

Mr. Schuldenhaus is coming for our wedding.

We've been corresponding.

He ain't never send no pictures.

We don't know what he looks like.

Then I'll tell you this, he's in

for a mighty nice surprise when he gets here.

Now, I know I'm a sight for you folks to see,

but with a little water for washing and a little time

for whitewashing, so's I can earn myself some vittles,

I'm gonna prove to you folks that I'm crammed neck high

with personableness.

Well, sir, before you know it, here's old Doc,

he's all humped up like a madman and he's ahopping

out of Delmonico's and I'm eating his breakfast.

Well you see, he ain't never come on to my secret

of talking faster than what he can keep up with thinking.

You see what I mean?

If you give a feller a whole heap of things

to think about at once,

well then he ain't got time to do no thinking about answers

for something that you've done said.

Don't you see?

And you call him your best friend?

Chad, I'd cut off my right arm

clean up to my left ear for him.

Hope nobody ever tells him that.

But just betwixt us three men,

I figure he done already knows it.

Supper's on and hot and getting cold.

My heavens, you've done more in three hours

than we could've done in a whole day.

Noon tomorrow, she's gonna be all did.

Oh, I can't let you do that.

Well, noon tomorrow, wasn't that when you was figuring on

going over to Beckwith's Mercantile

for them supplies you wanted?

Yeah, but...

Well, that's when I'll pick up the new shoe for Ruth, see?

I might as well be busy doing something till then.

Besides that, you haven't ever saw me put away vittles.

And from the smells that's been a-coming from your kitchen,

I figure it'd take me a week of whitewashing

to pay for these vittles I'm fixing to eat.

Come on in.

Dear Lord, we thank thee for the bounty

which fills our lives.

We thank thee for the love that fills our hearts.

We thank thee for all thy gracious gifts.

- Amen. - Amen.

You forgot the other part.

Well, that's all right this time, son.

But we always say it.

Never mind, Clay.

Dear Lord, we humbly ask you to make Mr. Shuldenhaus

a sober man and a good and kind husband and father.

Amen.

Oh, and Lord, if you was to make him

a might more looksomer

than some feller that ain't gonna get named,

you sure wouldn't hear no fussing

from folks around these here parts.

Amen.

Amen.

Chad, will you pass this to Festus?

That sure smells and looks lariping.

Oof, I believe I could eat

the whole blamed bowlful my own self.

You know something, I sure gotta hand it to you fellers.

Why, Festus?

Oh, for helping your mama get shed of some of her chores.

Papa used to say a woman needs time to herself.

Well, your daddy must've been a mighty smart feller.

He said it was up to us to see she had her quiet time.

I don't remember much about him, just some things.

Mostly what Chad tells me.

He died a long time ago.

It was five years ago he took sick.

And you've been the man of the house ever since then, huh?

We both have.

Sure wish you could be here for the wedding, Festus.

Oh, golly dill, I do too, Clay.

It's gonna be in Abilene

just as soon as Mr. Schuldenhaus gets here.

Well, more than likely I'll be on my way

back to Dodge by then, don't you see?

We're gonna have a party afterwards.

And Mama's gonna be the prettiest one there 'cause...

Shh.

After you're done, hang the towel so's it dries.

Mama?

Mama, can I take the horse for awhile?

Again, Chad?

Yes'm, just for a couple hours.

It'll be dark in a couple of hours.

I'll be back by bedtime.

I filled the wood box and I'll milk the cow before I go.

All right.

Thanks, Mom.

Well, Ms. Elkins, I reckon I'll go out

and try to work off some of them good vittles.

I just got me a little dab left to do

and then she'll be all did.

Oh, Festus, you've done enough already.

Nah, tuh tuh tuh tuh tuh.

Festus, Festus.

That funny?

There's like old Chad forgot to milk his cow.

Bring me a bucket and I'll do it.

That's all right, I'll do it myself.

- But... - It's all right.

I'll do it myself.

Was it hard chores?

What do you think?

How much did you get?

40 cents.

How much does that make all together?

I'm counting now.

You forgot to milk the cow, you know?

That's right, I did.

Festus was gonna do it,

but I stopped him from coming in.

Well, it ain't like he'd have found it.

Well, I wasn't gonna chance it.

Clay.

If I'd known you was coming out to the barn,

I'd have asked you to water old Ruth for me.

Chad, I'm glad to see you got back

for bedtime like you said you would.

That's good.

You know, I've always figured the most importantest thing

for a feller to be is reliablesome.

Yes, siree.

Reliablesomeness does a whole heap for a feller's character.

When a feller's got character, he ain't gonna never

be nothing but a whole heap of pure old dee joy

to his mama and daddy.

Well, I reckon I'll turn in.

- Goodnight, fellers. - Goodnight, Festus.

Two pounds of coffee, what else?

A tin of soda crackers, please.

What else?

Ten pounds of salt, please.

Well, would you look at them horehounds.

Peppermints is my favorite.

Peppermints are twofers.

Twofers?

Two for a penny.

Oh.

Well I'll tell you what now, if certain young'uns

was to keep the fire box going in the forge

in a particular barn for a certain feller

that I know whilst he was a-shoeing his mule,

them certain fellers just might

earn theirselves some peppermint sticks.

I've got five yards of muslin there, Mr. Beckwith,

and some thread.

Don't mind, I'll measure it.

Well when you get done with that,

measure me a nickel's worth of them peppermint sticks,

a full measure.

Got them crackers, Ma.

I could've sworn I saw Mr. Beckwith put that tin

Well, I ain't never laid eyes on that man but once

but I'd say Chad's right in checking on him.

Here he comes.

He said he put it in one of them boxes.

Here it is.

The flour sack was hiding it.

I sure wanna thank you for helping us, Festus.

Well, that there just makes everything even betwixt us, Chad.

We'd have been at it better another week or more.

Well, see now, this a-way, it gives you some extra time

so as that you can help your mama do some other things.

Don't you see?

Where do you live in Dodge, Festus?

- Live? - Where's your house at?

I mean, if we was to write you.

Oh.

You figuring on writing to me, are you?

Who knows?

Someday, we might even get to Dodge.

We could come and look you up.

Well, I'll tell you you could always get a letter

to me at care of the US Marshal.

Are you a friend of a US Marshal?

Oh, you betcha.

Marshal Matthew Dillon.

Fact is the biggest part of the time, I'm his deputy.

Chad, Clay, dinner.

Are you through, Festus?

Coming.

You know, it's just plum shamefulness for a feller

to put away vittles the way I just did.

Maybe so, but it certainly is flattering.

But I, I'll tell you, I've eat enough to carry me

clean to Abilene and then some.

Much obliged to you, Chad.

Safe trip, Festus.

And all our thanks.

You're mighty welcome, ma'am.

And I'm a-wishing you all

the pure old dee happiness you can hold.

I know that Mr. Schuldenhaus will be all you want.

And I can tell you something else too.

You're gonna be the looksomest bride in Kansas.

You two boys, I wanna tell you something.

It's been a many and a many a day since I've came across

young'uns the likes of you.

And you just keep abeing the joy

to your ma that you done already are.

Don't you never do nothing to take that pridesome look

outta her eyes, you hear me?

Well, Ruth, time to kick some dust

and raise some gravel.

Bye, Festus.

- Adios. - Bye, Festus.

Come on, Ruth.

You reckon he's got any money on him?

Don't matter.

You see that blanket?

Yeah, I see it.

And I've sat here scrunched up long as I'm gonna.

I'm going after him and then get it.

Now, you put a bullet through that blanket

and I'll put one through you.

I don't want no holes through that blanket.

You'll get it without no holes.

He's asleep, I tell you.

There won't be no trouble.

All right, let's go.

Hey, if you have to shoot him,

shoot him through the head

so the blanket won't be spoiled, huh?

Moze, hey, Moze.

I've been a-wondering how many of you there was

and when you was a-coming in.

You caught us with our hands in the honeypot, huh?

Mighty sticky, ain't it?

Why, there ain't no money in this bag.

Just a handed note and a bag full of washers.

Washers?

Get back here!

Now, what are you two up to, huh?

A surprise, Mom.

A real one.

For me?

Oh my.

Oh.

It's the dress from Mr. Beckwith's store.

Me and Chad's been saving ever since you wrote

Mr. Schuldenhaus that you'd marry him.

Near five months, we earned a lot.

Festus, did you ever see such a pair?

No, ma'am, don't reckon I have.

Oh, it's the most beautiful dress

- in the whole world. - Do you like it, Mom?

Like it?

Never in my whole life have I had such a dress, never.

Festus, what am I gonna do with these two?

Well, ma'am, I reckon it'd be kinda hard to know

just how to give 'em everything they got coming.

And on top of that, you just as same as storied to your mama

when you let her think that you earned all that money

to buy the dress with.

But we're gonna earn it all.

We're gonna pay you back.

You dang betcha you are, every penny of it.

If she knew what we'd done,

she'd make us take the dress back to Mr. Beckwith.

You gotta see why we done it, Festus.

Well, I can see why you done it,

but what you done was wrong.

But we wrote you that note.

We said we'd mail you the money to Dodge.

Didn't you read it?

Well, I can tell you what happened there.

See, I rode down to Dodge

and clean forgot to bring my spectacles.

I can't read no writing at all without them.

Wrote notes, that don't make no never mind, Chad.

Not when you've went and took a man's money.

And you know'd it's wrong or you'd have came right to me

and asked me for it to my face.

Yes, sir.

There was no way we'd have earned enough to get it

in time for the wedding.

Mr. Beckwith wanted all his money

before he'd give it to us.

I asked him for credit when you went to the store with us,

but he said no.

We just had to have ten more dollars, Festus.

I figured on taking it, like it was a loan.

I was wrong.

We figured that them dollars couldn't be as important to you

as they was to us.

We figured you could always get more.

You know how to make money.

Keep it going in there.

Get that fire hotter, it ain't rendering fast enough.

Keep the fires hotter, you hear?

You gotta keep that fat feeding in there.

You out to work, ugly?

Well that there just depends.

How long would it take me to make ten dollars?

Ten dollars, ten days.

With all the vittles you could eat.

That is, if you can still eat at the end of the day.

Watch what you're doing, you blamed knucklehead.

Get back to work.

I ain't giving you no dollar a day for playing.

Well, I wasn't playing.

- You were playing. - Blamed idiot.

Six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Ten dollars for ten days.

Now you tell me, when did you ever get

any quicker money any easier?

Now don't you spend it all in one place, you hear?

If those cattle prices keep going up and going down,

we gotta get a spur in here.

Why don't you go over to the Gazette

and see if there's any change.

Excuse me, fellers.

Mister, could you tell me where

the Coberly's Hotel for Genteel Ladies is?

You get much closer, they'll come out and grab you.

Right behind you, fuzzy.

Mister, I'm alooking for Charity Spencer.

Charity Spencer?

She told me she was fixing to put up here.

At the Coberly Hotel for Genteel Ladies?

To be near her work you might say?

Where is she at, mister?

Well, her key's here so she must be inside.

Then this newspaper reporter, you know,

he's got his pad and pencil all set, he says,

"When was that, madam?

"When the man jumped at you from out of the bushes?"

And the woman said, "No.

"Just now when I went yeah!"

I'm alooking for Charity.

Charity's the last thing you're gonna get

at the Coberly Hotel, mister.

Festus, what in the world?

Charity, I've been a spell a-getting here.

Can I talk to you?

I guess so.

What did you want?

What can he afford?

Sit down.

This is surely a surprise.

Thank you, Charlie, I don't think we need drinks.

- This is an old friend of mine. - You know the rules, Charity.

No drinky, no talky.

Charity, what are you doing at a place like this here?

Well, Festus, don't you remember?

The newspaper ad.

Coberly Hotel for Genteel Ladies?

Convenient to all points of interest?

Well, this is the major point of interest.

- You're getting outta here right now. - No.

No, I'm not.

I like it here.

You like it?

Yes.

And for the first time in my life, I'm having fun.

Why, I get a percentage of every drink.

And I've made nearly $50.

Well, what's the matter?

Well, it's money that I've came here about.

Oh.

You didn't get as much for my things as you thought?

No, ma'am.

I got $11 more.

Well, I don't understand.

Well, I've brang it to you.

You came all the way to Abilene to bring me $11?

Yes, ma'am.

Another glass, Ms. Charity?

No, no thank you, Charlie.

Whatever you say.

Hey, where are you going with that money?

Now that's champagne, bud, $10 a bottle.

$10?

You bet.

And I can't cork it back up once it's opened.

Charlie.

Let it go, Festus.

Let it go.

Festus.

Hey, look here, everybody, it's Festus.

Hello, Festus.

Clay.

- Hello, Festus. - Hello, Festus.

Good luck, Ms. Schuldenhaus.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

- Bye, Festus. - Goodbye, Festus.

- Be good boys. - Festus.

I'm sorry.

- It's all right, Charity. - Goodbye, Festus.

- Goodbye, Festus. - Come and see us.

I reckon it was worth it after all.