Original subtitles

We made it clean away, ain't we?

If you start figuring that way,

you'll wind up in a box.

Well, there ain't nobody down there Bede,

you can see that.

Maybe,

maybe not.

We got us 30 miles between us and Ashland,

and there ain't no sign of the law.

The way I read it is clean.

The way you read it?

Are you all that experienced, are you?

Well, I figure being your brother puts me one up

on knowing just about all there is to know.

At the same time, I'll feel better

when we get to the shack.

You got your bellies filled?

Hey, Bede, we just set down.

The sooner we get to the shack,

the sooner we can stop watching our tail end.

Come on, let's go.

Start counting the folding money.

Oh, you're full of it, ain't you?

Full of what?

I'll race you, Bede.

Danny!

Danny?

Hankins, give me your knife down here.

Come on, move!

It's all right. Here.

Get this thing out of him.

- Bede. - Don't talk.

It's all right.

Link, Curly, we gotta get a doctor.

The nearest one is in Dodge.

Then get yourself to Dodge, now.

Bede, Dodge belongs to Matt Dillon.

Get going!

Are you gonna be here?

We'll leash him onto a horse and get to the shack.

Now, hold onto him.

You'll pull it out?

I've got to.

Festus, I'll tell you something,

if Newly had told me that story,

I'd have believed every word of it.

Well thank you, Marshal, but I wouldn't have believed it

even if Miss Kitty had told me.

It's the gospel truth now.

If I'm lying, I'm dying.

Much obliged, Miss Kitty, but that there

ain't near hard to believe as something

that happened to me a few years back.

I was trapping muskrats down in the Cisco River swamp.

All of a sudden, there I was,

clean up to my armpits in quickie sand

with a circle clean around with water mossakins

a snapping at my vitals.

Well, here's Doc, thank goodness.

How are you?

Come on in, you're just in time.

- Time for what? - Howdy, Doc.

So anyhow, I grabbed hold to this first snake

and I pinched his jaws together like that,

and I make him glom onto that next snake's tail.

No, I'm too tired for this.

How do you think we feel, Doc?

Well wait a minute Doc,

this here is the interesting part.

Well, I doubt that.

Come on Doc, sit down, you look exhausted.

I sure am, Kitty, I'll tell you,

in all of my years of practice,

I have never put in a day like this, never.

You look like you've been fighting an epidemic, Doc.

Don't you want to hear how he got out of the swamp?

No, I, I don't think I do, Kitty, not now.

I tell you what I'd like, though.

I would like a tonic that is strong enough

to persuade my old bones to carry me upstairs to bed,

can you do that?

I got just the thing.

Well, anyhow, Doc, these here water mossakins

was a movin' in fer the kill,

but do you think I was scared?

Doc, what was going on at three o'clock this morning?

Oh you heard that, did you?

Everybody from here to Hutchinson must have.

Here Doc, see if that isn't what the doctor ordered.

Kitty, I can tell that is precisely

the prescription the doctor prescribed.

Well, seeing as I can't get a word in with a knife blade,

why don't you just go on and tell us

what you've been so blamed busy at?

Well, I've been busy plying my profession,

pulling my weight in this world, earning my keep,

that's what I've been doing.

Oh, fiddle, there you go again

with a bunch of blamed old silly words stringed together

so they don't mean a blamed thing.

- Well I'll tell you what, I... - Festus, wait a minute.

Doc, I sure would like to hear about it.

All right, well, Abe Hoskison came into town,

yelling and screaming that his boy was having convulsions.

Well now, by the time I got out there,

that big Hoskison girl had everything under control,

the boy just swallowed a thimble, that's all.

Thimbles ain't near as interesting as snakes is.

Doc, why don't you go on to bed?

Sleep all day if you feel like it.

Well, I sure would like to, Kitty, but

you know, I came by Will Bellfield's place on the way in,

and his wife's expecting again,

she's about due, as a matter of fact,

and I'm kind of worried about her,

she lost the first one, you know.

I think I ought to go right back out there.

Doc, you're not gonna be much good to anybody

unless you get some sleep, it's a long ride out there.

Well, I guess that makes sense Matt,

you may be right I tell you what...

I'm gonna go upstairs and I'll get a little rest,

and I'll start out about four o'clock.

That's a good idea.

I'll see you all tomorrow sometime.

- See you later, Doc. - So long, Doc.

Goodnight.

I think it's a shame that he has to work like that.

Festus, why don't you hitch up his buggy for him

in the morning and drive him out there?

You betcha, Matthew, you know that old scutter's

a working like a coal mine mule, ain't he?

Well, now let me see, where was I at now?

You were just getting ready to tie the snakes together

to make a rope out of them

to pull yourself out of the swamp.

Oh, you've heared it before?

Well, I'll tell you something now,

it wasn't easy as all that.

You know, with them water mossakins a being

so slipperdy thataway, every time I was to go to work

and tie a knot in them it'd slip loose, don't you see?

So, I'll tell you what I done.

I reached in there and I got me a handful

of that quickie sand, sculled the water out of it,

and then I sanded them snakes down.

That way, I could pull myself out with them, don't you see?

That old pill pusher keeps hours like an owl, don't he?

The only thing I can see, we go up there easy,

and talk him into going with us.

Whoa.

Morning, Doc.

Where you think you're going?

Well, I'm going with you out

to the Bellfields' place, Matthew's orders.

Well, I'm giving the orders now, not Matt,

and you're gonna do no such a thing.

Just get on out of there and go on back to bed

where you belong.

Now Doc, it ain't gonna do you no good

to get all humped up like a mad ant,

Matthew told me to go and I'm a fixing to go.

I don't care what Matt said.

I wish he'd mind his own business,

and let me pick my own traveling companions.

Well, you ain't the onliest one.

All right, let's go.

I don't wanna hear one peep out of you, not one,

all the way out there, you be quiet.

Get up, Clobber.

They're heading the right direction.

Just fine.

We'll lay back a while and let them head out of town.

Will you stop that yowling, will ya, hush up.

Well, I didn't aim to wake you up, Doc,

but I just couldn't help myself.

Look how pretty it is and everything.

Well, pretty is as pretty sounds, hush up.

Doc, whilst you was a sleeping a while ago,

there was the biggest old flock of geese come over,

and they was just a honking just prettier than...

Well, just let the geese do the honking, will ya?

Be quiet.

There's some more.

- There they are. - Where?

See them?

You know, Doc, it's a blamed pity

we didn't bring our shotguns with us,

we could have shot ourselves a goose.

You know, I just don't think

I could trust myself with a shotgun.

Go on back to sleep, you grumpy old grump.

Marshal, Barney just got a telegram from Meade.

Bede Stalcup and his boys hit the bank,

wounded the sheriff and deputy, and got away.

Does he have any idea where they're headed?

South, a citizen's posse caught sight

and then lost it again near Crooked Creek.

Crooked Creek?

That's where Doc and Festus were headed this morning.

- Morning. - Morning.

I'll take that gun of yours, Whiskers.

We ain't got no money.

Give it right here, now.

Just a minute.

I'm a doctor and I've got to deliver a baby.

A doctor is what we want, and babies can wait.

Now, you move that buggy on out of here right now

and follow close.

Danny?

Don't let me go, Bede.

How you talk.

You're gonna be fine.

I'm a little scared.

I always took care of you, didn't I?

I'm taking care of you now.

They're here.

Whoa.

There's your doc. Get inside.

Who are you?

Festus Haggen, if it's any of your lookout.

Well get inside, both of you.

Move it.

He's the only brother I got, Doc.

I'm gonna need some hot water,

you better build a fire.

No, smoke's too easy to spot.

You fix that kid or you're all done fixing.

Why don't you hush, big mouth?

He'd doctor the devil hisself if he found him ailing.

Why don't you shut up?

Move!

Wait a minute!

You pull that trigger and your brother's a dead man.

All right, tie him to the post, get outside,

this doctor is going to work.

Newly, if we're this close

you better ride on over to Bellfield's

and check on Doc and Festus.

Where do you want me to meet you?

Well, we'll work our way down to Live Oak Ford,

you shouldn't have any trouble finding us.

- You bet. - Bring Festus if Doc doesn't need him.

Yes, sir.

You've been at it long enough to know how he is.

Well, he's badly hurt.

I know how bad he is, I just want you to fix him up.

Now do it.

Doc, cut me loose.

You all right?

I'm all right.

Listen, you've got to get out of here

as fast as you can, and find Matt.

I can't leave you here by yourself, Doc.

Never mind that.

If you don't, neither one of us

are gonna get out of here alive. Now get up.

What about the boy?

He hasn't got a chance in a hundred anyway, now go.

But Doc, they're liable to kill you.

Festus, they won't touch me

as long as they think they need me, now go, go on.

You take care of yourself, Doc.

Festus, I will.

Now, this is gonna hurt, son.

He's as pale as a sheet.

Danny.

Dumb kid.

Curly, Link!

Whiskers is loose and running.

Where'd he head, Bede?

I don't know.

He had to go that way or we'd have seen him.

Well get mounted, come on.

If he ever gets to Dodge...

He don't get to Dodge.

You find him, you don't bring him back.

Slow, Bossie.

Slow, Bossie.

Slow, now.

Just be easy, Bossie.

Slow, Bossie.

You're gonna help me get out of here.

Take it easy, now.

That's the way, get up Bossie, get up.

They'll see my tracks going in,

but they ain't gonna see them going out.

Hold it.

He went in right here.

Ho, whoa, whoa.

There's nothing here but cow tracks.

I'll go downstream, you go up.

If I see him, I'll squeeze off a couple of shots.

Never mind about that, you drop him where he's at,

Bede don't want him causing no trouble.

Now, get moving.

Ha.

Giddy up Bossie, ha, ha.

Much obliged, Bossie.

Will!

Mr. Bellfield!

Will!

Will!

Newly, what are you doing here?

Delivering a baby.

Where have you been, and where's Doc?

He's been took prisoner by Bede Stalcup and his outfit.

Stalcup, the one that shot them fellers

over in Meade yesterday?

I don't know what all they did,

but old Doc's in an awful fix,

we gotta get Matthew, do you know where he's at?

He's out on a posse right now looking for Stalcup,

I just left him a couple hours ago.

We gotta find him, Newly, come on.

Well, I can't leave here, Festus,

Miss Bellfield, she's in hard labor.

You take my horse and ride to the marshal,

they ought to be near Live Oak Ford by now.

All right, loan me your pistol.

You bet.

Ha!

Looks like they went through here not too long ago.

Is that Festus?

Matthew, Matthew, it's old Doc.

Bede Stalcup took us for prisoners

on our way out to the Bellfield's place.

Where's Doc?

They got him at Cimarron Bend,

he's doctoring old Bede's pup brother.

Let's go.

Bede says if the boy cashes in, he's fixing to kill old Doc.

Well?

Well, if by some miracle he's alive in two hours,

he may make it.

Another two hours, we gotta be riding.

Well mister, I didn't get him into this, you did.

But I'll tell you something,

if you drag him around the country, you're gonna kill him.

I got every law man from here to Abilene

on the lookout for me, and you're telling me to settle down?

No, I'm just telling you that I have to have medicine.

I have to have antiseptic, laudanum to kill the pain,

unless you want to hear him scream.

Now, you'll have to get me the things I need,

I don't care how you do it.

All right.

If Link and Curly stop that sodbuster friend of yours

from drawing attention, we'll settle down here

for a day or two.

You get him fixed up,

and we'll get you the things you need.

I'm going out for a breath of fresh air.

Hold it, Doc.

Don't do any fast shuffles.

You got any whiskey?

Yeah, a little, do you want a drink?

- I sure could use one. - All right.

Hey, take it easy.

You never could take it straight down like a man.

I don't feel much like a man, Bede.

You're gonna be riding tomorrow,

and that's a true fact.

Where you been all this time?

Did you kill him?

Never even seen him.

Lost his tracks down at the river.

Went in and never came out.

You saying he got away?

I'm saying me and Link followed that far river bank

five or six miles, there wasn't never a track.

I don't know how he done it.

Bede'll be kinked up over this.

Well, we ain't gonna tell Bede.

What are you gonna tell him?

Tell him we killed him in the river.

Well, that kid'll be dead by tonight anyway.

We'll be long gone before anybody gets here.

I thought it would ease his pain.

You idiot!

You don't give whiskey to a man with a stomach wound.

Did you kill him?

Down by the river, seen him sinking.

- There's a posse out there. - How many?

About four or five.

You lied to me about killing Whiskers.

It's no lie, Bede, we seen him sinking.

No matter, they're out there.

Four or five ain't many, Bede.

If we scatter, they can't find us.

You gonna call them out, Marshal?

I can't take a chance with Doc in there.

Don, circle around that clump of trees there.

Larry, go to the left.

Festus, why don't you stay here,

I'll see how close I can get.

Matthew, I done eyeballed that whole shebang down yonder,

it could be that I could get in there real tight,

and then if they get to shooting, I can snatch old Doc out.

All right, it's worth a try.

We'll give you a couple minutes.

All right.

Marshal, this is Bede Stalcup.

I got your old doctor in here.

I guess this makes me boss.

You and the others step out in the clear

and let me get a look at you.

You all right, Doc?

I'm all right.

You better move, Marshal, or there ain't gonna be

nothing left of this old pill rower worth picking up.

Pitch them guns away.

Get up, let me see you.

We're leaving.

You running out on your brother?

Not quite, Doc.

You and me is gonna get Danny on his horse.

No, not me, not on your life.

It's your life we're talking about, old man.

Let's get out.

Don't leave me here, Bede.

Let them take you to Dodge.

I'll come back to get you.

Bede.

Bede, Bede.

Doc?

Well, he's breathing, Matt.

That's about all.

All right, hold it.

I'm going in to Dodge for the kid.

What are you, crazy?

With Dillon following,

that means there ain't no real law men left in Dodge.

I'll have Danny and be out of there before they know it.

You don't even know if they took the kid into Dodge.

I ain't asked ya,

you just ride for the line and lay a wide trail.

Come on.

Whoa.

- Doc? - Thank you.

Now here, I want him handled awful easy.

Doc, what happened?

Easy now, as easy as you can.

Hey Doc, should we bring the boy up?

No Burke, I lost him on the way in.

You better get Percy Crump.

Right here on the table.

All right now, right on the edge here,

and roll him over.

Get that left arm.

There, that's the way.

That's fine, that's fine Rudy, thanks.

- I'll need hot water, Kitty. - Oh.

Doc?

I gotta, I gotta take that out of there...

but I...

He's so doggone weak, he's lost so much blood.

Do you suppose it would be better if you waited?

I don't know, it might be worse.

Festus, old boy...

I'm gonna take that bullet out of you.

I know as well as I know anything, if you could,

you'd say to me, "Doc, you old scutter,

"don't just stand there, do something."

That's what he'd say, ain't it?

Looks like they split up here.

There's a set of tracks headed back toward Dodge.

If that's Stalcup,

I'm gonna follow these tracks, you boys take this set here.

How's Festus?

Is there anything I can do, Doc?

Yes, you can take Kitty to the Long Branch.

Kitty, I want you to get some rest

and I'll call you if I need you.

Why'd you have to pull such a dang fool stunt?

You could have just...

you didn't have to...

If you wasn't so dang mule-headed...

Don?

Thanks, Sam.

More coffee, Miss Kitty?

I sure wish somebody would let us know

what's going on up there.

- Matt? - Doc.

How is he?

Well, he's still alive, but it's a miracle.

It's touch and go.

Well, I hate to give you more problems,

but I got an idea that Bede Stalcup's doubled back,

he's come back to get his brother.

Well, his brother's dead.

He died on the way in.

Well, Stalcup doesn't know that.

He thinks he's still alive,

and he'd be coming back here to get him.

Now Doc, I'd feel a whole lot better

if I'd get you and Festus down to the jail.

Oh no, I can't do that Matt, I can't move him.

Well all right,

I'll just have to get some guards around this place.

I'll be back later.

I need some men to help patrol the street.

Sure thing, Marshal, what's up?

I'm looking for Bede Stalcup.

Because of the time, he may already be here.

We'll have these men head down the alley.

Newly, you and Al go that way.

I'll be patrolling the street here, if you see anything.

Sit tight, Doc.

I come for Danny.

I appreciate your sitting up with him.

Well, how do you figure to get him out of Dodge?

You and me, working together.

First thing, we gotta even the odds a bit.

Get the marshal up here.

Matt, can you come up here?

Stalcup's brother just took a bad turn.

I may need some help.

So much as twitch of hair and you're both gone.

Sure is a hot night, isn't it?

Doc?

Festus, Festus?

It's Doc.

I can't see you, Doc.

I'm here Festus, I'm right here, right here.

I'm all swimmy-headed.

Now I can see you, Doc.

Plum's land,

you just get uglier every day, don't you?

He just came to, just for a minute.

Did he, did he recognize you?

Sure did.

He described me to a T.

You hadn't ought to be drinking, you know,

you're on a diet, you've been sick, you know it?

Well, that don't make no never mind.

Well listen, now, you do what I tell you.

You're not gonna go running in...

Oh, much obliged, Miss Kitty.

Now, that there is medicine can cure a fella right there.

Festus, I want to hear how the cow crossed the river.

How'd you ever think of that?

Oh, fiddle, Miss Kitty, that there wasn't my idea,

that there was my Grandpa Hog Haggen's idea.

Now wait a minute, Festus,

how'd your Grandpa Haggen get in this?

Well you see, Matthew, the way it was is

Grandpa Hog Haggen was the onliest one of us Haggens

that could read reading,

and I recollect when I wasn't no bigger than a tater bug,

Grandpa used to read us young’uns these here stories

out of the Bible.

And they was this here one story about this here feller

in Egypt that was escaping from the fairies.

Wait a minute, hold on.

Oh, you mean the Pharaoh?

One of them fellers.

And directly they come a running up to this here

great old big wide crick.

It wasn't a crick, it was the sea, the Red Sea.

Well, when this here Moles...

His name was Moses.

When he seen the sea, see,

well he went to work and scrunched up his eyeballs

and he commenced to get to bearing down on that,

and directly, why he balled up his fists like that,

and then he flang them out sideways and he said,

"Open yourself up, waters."

And the waters parted, right?

Oh, of course they did,

just like they wasn't even there at all in the first place.

Just a minute, now, just a minute.

Are you gonna sit there and tell me

that you went into some kind of a rooster dance

and parted the waters of the Cimarron River?

Golly bell no, Doc.

Of course, I done a few little jee jaws

at the very beginning.

Well, what in thunder is all this silly story

you're telling about then?

Well, when I seen that them there waters

wasn't a gonna open up fer me,

and them fellers a nipping at my boot heels

about to catch up with me,

I seen this old heifer and I just collared her

and rode her right on through, don't you see?

This is the most ridiculous and inane story

that I think that I have ever heard in my life.

Festus, why in thunder don't you learn to read

so that when you want to tell something,

you will have read it and then you could get the facts

and you could tell them straight?

Doc, I've told you a hundred dozen times,

when you start to read reading,

how do you know that the feller that wrote the reading

wrote the reading right?

Just because some feller writes some reading,

it don't mean that the feller just a setting down

to write the reading, wrote the reading right.

And then if he's wrote the reading wrong...