Original subtitles

The deputy's off the street.

You stay with the horses. Come on.

- Evening, Doc. - Hello, Festus.

- Just getting in, are you? - Yeah.

All night patching up those Crockers.

Them Crockers scrapping again, are they?

Yet.

Let me give you some advice... Don't ever get married.

Oh, I wouldn't marry her. I'll guarantee you that.

Doc: He's certainly no bargain.

I wasn't planning on him neither.

Doc, you ain't got something for

kind of a sore throat, have you?

Well, certainly. I got just exactly the thing here.

It's a concoction of my own.

It's mainly molasses, but then it's got some coal oil in it,

and a little peppermint, and quite a bit of castor oil.

- I'll give you... - Oh, I ain't that bad, Doc.

What I got, see, is kind of a scratchity,

tickledy feeling right here in my goosler, kind of.

Why in thunder didn't you say you wanted a shot of whiskey?

But I want you to understand, though, that according to law,

I am not allowed to dispense intoxicating liquor.

We'll have to call this medication.

- Feels better right away, don't it? - Oh, you betcha.

- I don't give a hoot what you call it. - Well, you should.

Because my minimum fee for dispensing medication is 50 cents.

- 50 cents? - Yeah.

- Where's Matt? - Well, he rode off

to Scullyville this morning.

Won't be back till day after tomorrow.

- Doc, about that 50 cents... - I'm putting it right down here.

Don't you think we could just kind of call it socializing?

Let's get going. Hyah!

I shot one of 'em.

Newly, Burke, get your horses.

The rest of you, saddle up. Let's get after them.

Pike, you gonna make it?

- Keep going. - If you can't, say so.

I'm only grazed.

Don't look that way to me.

Now if you fall behind,

you're not gonna do any talking just like the rest of us.

Make sure he rides up ahead of you.

Come on! Come on!

Come on, boy. You can make here.

Go on. Get out there. That's it.

Oh!

Oh, he's bad off.

Can he ride?

I don't know.

When the wind quits, he's gonna have to.

Man: There's better than 2,000 here.

Ain't good for much this way, Pike.

Pike.

- Ow! - Hey, you hear me?

- Where are we? - Shack we staked out.

But we got to be riding. Come on.

Yeah.

Okay.

- Mm. - Oh!

You ain't gonna make it, boy.

I can make it. I can do it.

Got a hole in your side, bad.

Another one in your shoulder.

Can't leave me.

We're gonna be running, boy.

I like you, but...

not that much.

You want I should ease the pain?

He won't last a day.

If it had been either of you, I would've done the same thing.

Let's get out of here while the wind's doing us a favor.

Man: I've never known you to carry more than one gun at a time, Pike.

Where'd you get it?

Move away.

Boy, I guess you're a lot stronger then I figured.

Loomis, break it up in four pieces again.

I'll do the telling.

What have you got in mind, boy?

You'll never get away. We'll get you, sure.

I've got nothing to lose.

Die anyway if you leave me here.

Put your gun on the table.

You know, I never figured

to be looking into the wrong end of one of your guns.

Figured you'd pitch me aside like leavings neither, Macomb.

The money, put it in the saddlebag.

- Easy. - Hey, uh, listen, Pike.

When did you start that boot insurance thing, huh?

Four months ago when I met up with you.

That's good.

Pike: Put it down and move back.

Move back.

Put your hands on that bunk.

Get after him!

Now we got no money and no horses neither.

Maybe we can run him up when the wind quits.

When this wind quits, they're gonna be on the other side of the Rio Grande.

We're gonna start walking.

Do you figure a direction?

The one he took.

Go on. Go on, horse.

Come on. We gotta keep...

Oh-ho-ho!

Worthless.

There looks like something to me.

Mm-hmm. Lookie there.

There's a little beauty.

Hmm!

Perfect. Just perfect.

Oh. Oh!

Here's another.

Oh...

Oh, you're a good'n today,

but you're done now.

Now lookie there.

You see, we got our own for ourselves now, Worthless.

Oh, there you go.

Now, right down in there.

I figure that will give us about a half a penny.

Half a penny, I think that's cause for celebration, don't you?

Yes, sir.

Here we come.

Where are you now?

Oh, come here.

Ah!

Good.

Now, the way I figure it, as of them

things is gonna bring us...

If we fix up that bedstead back there,

somebody's gonna give us a dollar for that.

The old basin's a little rusty,

but I think somebody might pay 40 cents for it.

And with those bottles and the other things that we found,

I think we've got three dollars.

Are you listening to me, Worthless?

Three dollars I said.

Oh, that is if you ever get your shoulder to the wheel,

get us home.

Come on, Worthless. Come on!

Get on there!

Oh, I named you right when I named you "Worthless."

Come on, honey.

Maybe I'll give you a licorice whip when we get home.

Come on.

Hmm.

Hey.

Hey!

Hey, you on the ground there.

What do you think of that?

You drunk or hurt or what?

Both maybe.

Oh, sore meat. No, sir.

Not me.

You're only a young'un, ain't ya?

Well, I can't do nothing for ya.

I ain't got no medicine things.

I... Besides, it ain't no trouble of mine.

It's yours, and you got yourself into it.

Why look to me to get you out?

I ain't having none of it, that's all.

Lord, you ever see a fool?

Folks always said I had a heart bigger than my brain.

I'm afraid they're right about that.

All right.

Well, are you gonna help me or not?

Worthless!

Come on, Worthless. I need you, honey.

Now, come on.

Wait a minute now.

Hold on.

There you go.

Now lean on me.

That's a boy. Oh!

- Miss Kitty. - Festus.

You fellers get these horses on down to the stable, will you?

- Matthew get back, did he? - No, haven't heard a word.

- Did you have any luck? - Nah.

Just like them yahoos got themselves swollered up.

We've been at it all day and half the night.

You men look like you could use a beer.

On the Long Branch.

- Appreciate it. - All right.

I could sure use a beer, Miss Kitty. It is awful dry out there.

Beer, Sam, on the house.

They sure look like they could use it.

Thank you, Miss Kitty. Festus, what are we gonna do now?

You said something about splitting up.

Well, quick as the horses get rested,

we could maybe start to taking turns.

I just got a feeling that they got theirselves hold up someplace.

Well, Festus, they could've travelled 40 miles

in any direction without leaving a track.

That's an awful lot of territory to cover.

Except, Miss Kitty, they got this one feller

that's been shot along with them.

Now, if they did hole themselves up,

and we was to go out every day,

we could just keep 'em edgy enough

to where they jump up and do something foolish.

Don't you see?

Whoa!

Thanks.

Git that there.

Whoa. Get back.

Come on, boy.

Come on You heard me, boy?

You better hear me. You're gonna die if I don't do something for you.

Come on.

There.

Now let's...

Oh, Lord only knows what I'm gonna do now.

There you go. All right.

That's a boy.

You're gonna make it.

Just bear down. That's all right. I got you.

I-I ain't armed, boys. I ain't armed.

Downright obliging.

I don't want no trouble. Anything you want, just take.

Well, that's what we was planning to do anyway.

We lost our horses, old man. We need yours.

I give 'em to you. Free and clear.

You got any money buried around here anyplace?

No, sir.

I got $18 saved for spring seed.

In the house, is it?

Saddle the horses.

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Uh... put this here.

I ain't never done this before.

So don't... don't expect no fancy stitch work.

Lord, here goes.

It's up to you.

Let him live or die.

It's out of my hands.

This ain't none of my doing.

You know that.

Ah!

I told you I didn't know nothing about this!

I told you.

Listen, boy,

I got to get that bullet out of there

or you ain't got no chance at all.

Here.

You better have some of this here.

Come on. Take some more. You're gonna need it.

The good thing about pain, boy,

it don't last forever.

Here.

Just a minute.

Here, hang on to that.

You hang on to that tight.

You hear?

Good and tight.

- Any particular reason? - That fool had a gun hid in there.

Now let's find Pike.

Macomb, how are we gonna do that?

We'll scratch every part of Kansas if we got to.

One... he's got the money.

Two... the law catches up with him he can identify us.

Three... be a pleasure watching him bleed more than he is.

Hyah!

You awake, boy?

You want a drink of water?

Better take a little more.

Well, I got all that lead out.

But I sure had to go deep.

I think you're gonna mend up all right.

What's your name, boy?

Pike.

Cyrus Pike.

What'd... what'd you use to sew me up with, a knitting needle?

Well, that's just what I get.

You're one of them ungrateful cusses, ain't you?

I know you got a lot of pain.

Well, I ain't got nothing to ease it.

You went and drunk up my emergency bottle.

I supposed it ain't none of my business

how you got them bullets in you.

Better off me not knowing, I suppose.

It was outlaws.

Well, they've done a good job. I'll say that for 'em.

I come from Shadroe.

Over in Arkansas.

Had me $400 saved.

Come to Kansas to buy me a ranch.

Outlaws must've found out.

They robbed me and ambushed me.

Left me to die.

Left your horse to die, too.

All saddled up.

He spooked away.

Come back after they left.

Maybe better get the law after them.

Get your money back for you.

Outlaws might find out.

Come back after me.

You too, being as you helped me.

I don't believe a single particle of it.

Well, never mind stirring yourself.

I ain't one of those squealers to the law.

If that's what you're thinking of.

But I'll tell you, boy, what'll pleasure me.

And that's for you to get strong enough to get up on your two lyin' feet

and get out of here and leave me alone for a change.

$400 rancher we got ourselves.

Got himself ambushed and robbed.

And left to die.

You believe that, Sally Fergus, and you believe anything.

I told you I had to go deep.

Uh...

I swear I'd give you some laudanum if I had it.

I better get old Doc.

He's in Dodge.

It's a good ten miles from here.

No.

You got the bullets out. I'll stand it.

I don't know if I can.

My, what I need is a drink.

And I'm gonna get it.

I'm going to town. I'll be back as soon as I can.

Going for the law?

No.

I got some trading to do.

But, uh, old Worthless,

she's getting pretty old and slow.

So it's gonna take quite a while.

But we'll be back.

And you hang on.

You hear me? You hang on.

Worthless.

Come on, honey.

That's a good girl.

We're gonna take a little trip.

Matthew, we had us a robbery. Freight office.

- When did this happen? - About two days ago.

Four fellers got away with pretty near $2,800.

Newly, he's out with the posse now. We're spelling off.

- Did you find anything? - No, we couldn't track 'em three feet.

There was a wind storm that day

that was blowing dust so thick you couldn't stir it with a stick.

We're figuring they got theirselves holed up someplace

seeing as one of them is shot.

Fact is, I think I hit him twice.

How far did you look?

Well, most to the north and east.

We figured that's the way they's headed.

All right, I'll tell you what we'll do.

I'm gonna grab a bite to eat, and then we'll go out and look around.

Get a hold of Burke, will ya, and tell him to put on a badge

and keep an eye on the place?

I'll do 'er, Matthew.

So me and ol' Matthew will be heading out there directly

and see if we can't pick up a track or sign or some...

Them blame young'uns is at it again.

Go on! Go on home, you brats!

Don't you pay no attention, Worthless. Don't listen to 'em.

Here, here, here! Git on out!

Scat! Scat! Scat! Get away from her! Go on!

Go ahead, Miss Sally.

Much obliged, Festus.

Get up!

Why don't you take care of your kids?

All right, all you young'uns, come here. I want to jaw with you a minute.

Billy Pheeters, Susan Leland.

You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

Oh, Mr. Festus, she's just dirty old Sally.

When was the last time you took a bath?

It ain't the same thing.

Well, it appears to me it is.

Youse calling her "dirty old Sally," wasn't you?

We ain't that dirty.

Yeah, but then you ain't clean as a parson is neither.

Now how would you like it if he was to start to calling you "dirty Billy"?

- Well? - I wouldn't, I guess.

No, of course you wouldn't.

See, all of us is different.

Some folks is good. Some folks is bad.

Some folks is clean.

Some middlin' clean.

Some just pure old dirty.

So when you start to want to call somebody a name,

you take a look at yourself in the looking glass first.

And then you can see what names that folks

could start calling you if they wanted to.

You see what I mean?

All right, I got your word on that?

- Children: Yes, sir. - That's good.

All right, run on and play now.

Hello, Sally. How are you?

Hello, Marshal. I'm...

I need a chew.

Oh, that's so hard.

Say, could you bite a hunk of that off for me?

I got no teeth, you know.

Well, here, I'll cut you off a piece.

If I had teeth like yours, I'd throw my knife away.

Sally, you haven't by any chance seen

four men riding out on the prairie last couple days, have you?

Thanks. Want a sliver?

No, thank you.

No. I've seen a couple of buffalo hunters.

- Why? - We were robbed here Monday night.

I just thought you might've come across 'em out there.

Huh.

Well, no.

Seen them buffalo grizzlies and some lizards and...

so...

Well, keep your eyes open for me if you're out there, will you?

All right, Sally.

- Miss Sally. - Oh!

Well, you know, I couldn't sell anymore kerosene or vinegar

if it wasn't for you, Sally.

- They're all clean. - Oh, I can see they are.

Well, I'll just weigh these up, Sally,

and you help yourself.

Thank you, Mr. Lathrop.

This with the others is just shy 80 pounds.

So we'll just call that 80 cents.

Ain't you got no laudanum?

Well, you're gonna have to get that from the doc.

Oh, no.

Well, how about a few black eyed peas, Sally?

Maybe some flour and a little coffee?

No, Mr. Lathrop, I need some cash.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll just give you that 80 cents.

Oh!

And I'll put the rest on your bill, all right?

Well... well, thank you,

but my bill must be pretty tiresome by now.

But I've got the bottles to pay for it.

I've just gotta get them all washed up and bring 'em in.

Oh, any time. No hurry.

Maybe if you could give me five cents more on my bill,

I'll take a couple of bites of candy.

Oh, you just help yourself.

Ah, maybe you could make it ten cents

'cause I'm taking a couple of more peppermints.

Well, whatever you say's all right with me, Sally.

Thank you.

Oh, it must be wonderful to be a fine city lady,

and to live in town and be able to come into the store

and buy anything you see.

Why don't you just move into town, Sally?

Oh! Oh, no. I couldn't. I'm too old.

But I thank you very much, Mr. Lathrop.

You're just more than welcome.

I sure appreciate it.

I got something for you, honey.

Now, I want you to take this.

Chew it slow. Make it last.

That's a girl.

You know what he said?

Says I have to go and see Doc and ask him for the laudanum.

I ain't looking forward to fisticuffin' with that old coot.

He'll probably poke me and probe me.

He'll say that I'm... I can't even tell you about it.

Absolutely not. Nothing in this world is free.

You want laudanum, you've got to pay for it.

Hold a good thought.

Here, get that bag out of here so I can do this.

Who do you think you're pushing around, you old fossil?

- What'd you call me? - An old fossil.

Don't you "old fossil" me or I'll punch you a lot harder than I have been.

Now, you've got to hold still so I can tell what I'm doing.

- Oh! - Is that sore?

Oh!

Just a minute. That hurt there?

Oh! Yes, it hurts.

You think I'm made of stone?

Yeah, well, I can't do anything.

Like I told you in the first place, I can't examine you

unless you take off part of your clothing.

I knowed it.

You get me up on here and then you want to get my clothes off of me.

Well, I ain't gonna do it.

You'll just have to hide your disappointment.

Well, you come up here and you got a pain in your lower back.

Now, how do you expect me to find it unless I can feel of you?

Nobody's gonna feel of me.

Well, then what do you suggest?

I suggest laudanum.

Nope. Laudanum only kills pain. It don't cure anything.

Well, I can treat myself. I know what's the matter with me.

It's that bottle picking. It's getting to me.

I got stoop back.

I've had it since I was a little girl.

All right, you know what's wrong?

So there will be no examination and no laudanum.

Sally, let me tell you something.

I have no carnal interest in your body at all.

My interest in your body is strictly professional.

I'm a doctor.

Well, I don't know about your carnal,

but I do know that doctors has desires just like other men.

I won't examine you.

All right.

Now, that's as far as I'm gonna go.

I ain't no loose lady.

All right.

Now let's just see what we can do, but you hold still while I examine you.

- Now just hold still. - For what?

- Well, so I can feel here. - Hmph.

Now just... quiet.

All right, now tell me when this hurts.

Hurts!

It's gonna hurt all over when you get through.

Are you through?

Yes, Sally, I guess I'm all through.

What did you find?

About what I expect.

You're getting old. Your joints are getting creaky.

And I need laudanum.

Sally...

you need laudanum.

Well, I'll tell you one thing,

nobody ever pawed me like that before.

Well, does that mean we're engaged?

Hmph.

I guess you ain't heard about me.

I was something in my day.

Yeah, but your day's passed.

- Oh, why don't you... - Now don't get feisty with me.

Mine's passed, too. It's the reason I know.

And there's certain things that we just can't do anymore.

You just have to slow down, and you remember that.

Well, I can't slow down.

Somebody's gotta swamp out them wagon trails.

How much do I owe you?

70 cents, but you don't have to pay me now.

I never take presents from no men.

All right, Sally, you do exactly what it says on that bottle.

No more, no less.

And another thing, if you have any pain,

don't you hesitate to come and see me, day or night.

Well, if you was 20 years younger...

I might.

Still no strangers, like I told Festus.

If I'd seen four outlaws, Marshal,

I'da had them locked in my store room

listening to my tall tales before they knew what hit them.

It gets so lonesome out here that I find myself

talking to prairie rats and buzzards.

Real folks with real ears to listen with,

they wouldn't stand no chance at all against my mouth.

Well, come on in for some coffee.

Well, no, thanks, Mr. Sutro, we've got to keep moving.

You don't want to hear about the gunshots?

What gunshots is that?

Well, it was early. Come from over Hawkins' way.

Now, I'da saddled up,

but my foot still can't take no weight in stirrup.

I remember one time I tried to ride paying no mind

to two broken fingers that old Doc Adams splinted...

Mr. Sutro, thanks a lot. We'll check it out.

Festus: Much obliged, Mr. Sutro.

Howdy, Miss Kitty.

Well, howdy there, Sally.

Sam.

Say, pour me one of them ten cent drinks, will ya?

Just short of the rim.

Sure, Miss Sally.

I have just the right amount of money.

There you are.

Oh, look at that.

There's a beautiful sight.

That's amber.

That's my favorite color.

Oh...

I'll just let it build up the suspense for a minute.

Kinda dry out there with the wind blowing and all, huh?

But you gotta keep your pipes oiled up.

Sally, you know, I'm glad you're here.

You can help me out with something.

Oh, is one of the girls sick? You want me to fill in?

No, we got a shipment in,

and Sam doesn't think it's up to standard.

And, uh, well, you know,

it doesn't taste too bad to me.

Do you want my professional opinion?

I sure would appreciate it.

Have a clean glass, Sam, please?

Sure.

That's enough.

Tasted worse in my time.

Ah, fits right well.

Curls my toes.

For that expert opinion...

why don't you take that home with you?

Thanks, Miss Kitty.

Say, that's a good idea.

You know, it's not good for a girl's reputation

going out on the street with a bottle.

That's right.

Bye.

Now there goes one independent old girl.

Ah, she's the last of her kind.

Mr. Hawkins?

Hello in there!

Don't appear like he's at home, Matthew.

Mr. Hawkins, Matt Dillon.

Now, we'll get down there...

Oh, I'm gonna unhitch you later and give you somethin' to eat.

But I've got a little errand of mercy.

Well, it wasn't easy, but we got it...

Where's the boy?

Where's the boy gone?

Oh...

Boy?

Boy!

Boy!

He ain't in the privy.

Honey, he ain't fit to ride a horse, you know that.

Boy!

Boy!

Can you hear me?!

Pike!

Pike!