Original subtitles

When I'm...

When I'm dead, they will unlock the wrist irons.

Then you must escape.

You must get back to our people,

and bring them together again.

It is for you.

No, it is for you.

The new War Priest.

Not while you live.

No, not while I live.

But... now... now.

Soldier.

White Eyes.

Come see another good Apache.

Oh, gentlemen, look at those two big, beautiful red kings.

There the dealer stands behind them with an eagle a piece.

Now, there's a double eagle. Don't be bashful now.

This may be your last chance to contribute to my retirement fund.

- Beg your pardon, Sergeant. - Beg the Lord's pardon, boy.

- El Cuerno just died, sir. - What'd you say?

El Cuerno, sir. Gregorio's father.

Boots and saddles, gentlemen.

El Cuerno, Horn of the Jicarillas, hero of the Pantana Wash,

has gone to the great wicki up in the sky.

Too bad it wasn't his son.

Get the stretcher.

Gregorio got away!

The train's coming in. Come on, men, let's get back.

Holly, where do you think you're going?

Wherever that Gregorio's going, that's where I'm going.

Hey, tie that thing on there good and snug, boy.

Oh, that makes no sense at all.

First, that Indian'll bleed to death before nightfall.

Second, I need you here, not out there.

Third, you only got one and one half days to go on your present enlistment.

Fourth, you're too drunk to get on that horse.

- Therefore, I say no. - Begging the lieutenant's pardon,

but that Indian's got to be accounted for.

Or else there'd be a blot on this outfit, sir.

Ah, that ain't the reason, Holly.

You had a grudge against that Indian ever since Fort Apache

when he tried to grind your face in an adobe wall.

That got nothing to do with it, sir.

This outfit ain't never lost a prisoner, not while I was a sergeant.

Well, you're not personally responsible.

I am as far as I'm concerned, sir.

Holly, that's over-weening, self-aggrandizing...

Ain't no such thing! It's military pride, that's what it is.

Now, that red Indian's goin' to Florida with this outfit,

or he is going to hell without it. By your leave, sir.

- Well, you haven't got my leave. - I don't need it. I'm going AWOL.

Now, Holly, you listen to me.

That train gets in to Dodge City tomorrow, that's Tuesday, at noon.

Now, you be on it, and I won't carry you AWOL. You hear?

Thank you, sir. I'll be there... with Gregorio.

You be there with him or without him.

I'll be there. Give me my rein.

Sir.

Ha!

Since when you saluting dead Injuns, Sarg?

Respect your enemies, boy. Good enemies make good armies.

Yah! Ha!

Whoa!

Hey, you like the mud, Amos? Why don't you come on back to Wichita with me.

Gets hip deep back there. Like one big hog walla.

That ought to make you feel right at home, Windy.

Yeah.

- Oh... - Evenin', Miss Russell.

How are you, Mr. Strange?

- Did you enjoy the ride? - Oh.

As a matter of fact, it was the worst one I ever took.

Well, we ain't main line, but then again,

we ain't bogged down like the main line is either.

Almost clear to St. Louis. You was lucky to make connection.

Yeah, well, I've been trying to tell myself that

all the way from Medicine Lodge.

Well, we got your telegraph message about having a buggy ready.

But to tell you the truth, all we got's a buckboard.

Well, that'll be fine. Just fine, Mr. Strange.

Getting late. Maybe you ought to wait till tomorrow to run into town.

No, I'm... I'm two days late already, what with all these lousy floods.

Well, okay, but Mrs. Strange's bed's all made up inside there,

just the way she left it. You're sure welcome to stay.

That's real nice of you, but no thanks.

- Windy, do you wanna get the...? - Yeah.

I guess maybe I was just hankering for company.

I'll get this rig back to you tomorrow. Thanks again.

What the...

- Hey, leave my horse alone! - Quiet down, woman.

Don't you tell me to quiet down.

You open your mouth, you turn into a crow.

A crow I could kill.

Where were you coming from?

Owl Flats Station.

- You see any soldiers? - No.

Hey!

Hey, you're taking my horse!

- And you. - What?

- Stop shouting. - Now, you listen to me.

Did anyone ever tell you about your mouth?

I'm not going anywhere with you.

Then I shall tie you to a tree, woman.

And I shall fill your mouth with your hair and strap it shut.

Where are we going?

To the south.

You will lead.

And I will rest.

I think you owe me an explanation.

If soldiers reach us before we get to the river, you shall be useful.

Well, I see.

And woman...

If you prove to be a burden or try to betray me...

I'll kill you.

I'll try not to be a burden.

Well, now look, you got another day to go on your hitch.

Then you could retire with 20 years.

Now, what do you care if a whole carload of Indians run off? Huh?

- Because that's my job. - Well...

What... My orders is to keep order. And I aim to.

Well, good Lord, Sergeant, it ain't as if you had to.

- No one's gonna blame you... - I'd blame me!

Look, wait, I've got one day of duty left, right?

- That's danged foolishness. - What's the difference,

- first day, last day? You tell me. - Danged foolishness, and you know it.

Yeah, well... you just don't understand military pride.

That's right. I don't. I run like a scorched turkey at Vicksburg.

- Mm. - Well, you... you ain't proud of that?

Well, I'm proud of bein' here.

Mr. Strange, you're a civilian.

- Glory be to God. - Hey!

I just spent a half a day blood-trackin' a red Indian who hates worse

than any two-legged critter that I ever did put to chase.

I do it because somebody's got to do it.

And it's my duty. And this here is my Army.

How do you know, if I hadn't been chasing him,

he might've come up to your front door

and yanked your scalp off for a pot-walloper?

And do I get any thanks from you? No.

All I get from you is a twitchin' pain in the eyeballs from lookin' at you.

- I gave you a bed. - I'll give it back.

Hey, Lord!

I know your son's a master carpenter!

Why don't you teach him something about plumbing?

Here, I'll give up the bed as soon as I'm done with it.

You know something?

I kinda hope that Apache decides to circle back

and pay you a visit when I ain't here to protect you.

Teach you a little respect.

I've handled Indians before.

Why, you little pusillanimous wart on the hind end of westward... Listen.

Gregorio ain't no ordinary Indian.

He's a snake-mean, knuckle-eyed, bugle-mouthed, bad-belly.

He'll have you gutted and quartered

before you could arrange to die of fright.

Ah!

- Sarge. - Ah!

You know, you're wrong about most things and you're strange about the rest.

But there's one thing you're four-square right about,

and that is that you're yella and I ain't.

If it was up to you, the whole state of Kansas would still be squattin'

on them ferns east of the Mississippi waitin' for the waters to part.

Here!

While you was runnin' at Vicksburg, I, once I got my orders,

some of which I gave to my very own self, obeyed.

Hey. Hey, listen, that Indian's mine.

And I'm gonna have him, haunches and hocks,

and I'm gonna deliver him to Fort Dodge, just as sure as...

Let me tell you something. In all due respect, if so ordered,

I would deliver the great Lord Jehovah hisself

to the back door of hell in a buckboard.

Wrong room! This is Mrs. Strange's room.

My wife's bed.

How dare you throw Mrs. Strange out of her bed!

The Lord raised up a... a great wind.

That's all he is, Mrs. Strange, a great wind.

What are you trying to do, walk me to death?

Your mouth will probably get you there first.

You know, uh, that shoulder of yours is bleeding pretty badly. Whoa, baby.

And I... I think that storm is catching up to us.

Under that rock ledge we'll make camp.

You know, I hate to bring this up again, but you'd be so much better off

if we went on into Dodge and you had that shoulder looked after.

Well, you're just plain stupid if you think I'm not gonna be missed in Dodge.

There's gonna be somebody out here looking for me.

You think it would be wiser if I let you go?

I think it would be wiser all the way around.

You have been of help.

Now, you will be of even greater help.

What if you die of that wound?

I give you my permission to cut off my hand with a sharp rock.

- Doc. Sam. - Festus, what'd you find out?

Well, I checked with the telegraph office

and Barney says that he'll send a telegraph to Amos Strange

in Owl Flats a-seein' if Miss Kitty's got in there yet.

That beer good and cold, is it?

Draw him a beer, Sam.

Anyhow, he ain't gonna hear nothin' till morning.

Morning? Just to telegraph Owl Flats?

Well, it's gotta go clean through Wichita.

- Why? - Because that there is where

the main office of the stage line is. Don't you see?

That's about the silliest thing I've ever heard of.

That's not much better than hollerin'.

And from what I hear, that stage line ain't much better than walkin'.

Now, just a minute. Maybe we're getting kind of worked up over nothing here.

You know that storm up north could've held Miss Kitty up.

I tell you what you do. You go see Barney again

and ask him to see if he can't raise old Amos Strange over in Owl Flats

by going through Garden City. That's what to do.

Well, ain't gonna hurt none to ask, is it?

- Ah! - Wait a minute.

Well, was your beer cold enough for you?

Well, it's kinda hard to tell on just one.

Much obliged anyhow, Sam.

Hey.

- Wake up! - Oh!

It just come in.

Read it.

- Mm... - It says Miss Kitty Russell

didn't get to Dodge last night.

- Kitty... - Kitty Russell.

She runs The Long Branch there. She left here yesterday.

- Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. - Well?

Well, wait. He got her for her horse.

Lost a lot of time on account of that rainstorm, and he...

- Hey, maybe too much... Ah! - Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

- Stop it. - Why, you... why, you...

- Don't try to tie my... - Just stop it.

- My wife made this. - Hm?

Just look what you done.

- Well, I... I... - What you done.

- Get away from it! - Oh.

I'm... oh. Oh.

Sorry about the spread, Mrs. Strange, but...

that's the army for you. Keepin' order.

Mrs. Strange.

He lost about six of his cockles. Only thing right about him is his name.

Oh. Uh, listen. I'm sorry about that there doily.

But what are you gonna say in answer to that telegram?

I don't know. I'll just... tell 'em I'll have a look around, I guess.

- Not mention me? - Why should I?

You shouldn't. I want that little short horn all to myself.

Especially since he's killed that Kitty Russell woman you was mumblin' about.

How do you know he killed her? She might have...

Yeah, she could also have knit herself a Gatling gun

- with birch bark, but I doubt it. - My wife knit this.

Yeah, she's dead all right. She's dead. Come on.

Dead? Why, she's right with me all the time.

Oh, he meant Miss... Miss Russell.

Whoa, baby. Oh, listen.

I'm sorry again about that there doily, Strange.

Hell, I guess you have loved ones too, don't you, Sergeant?

Oh, I can't say as a...

Well... like Miss Winifred Stark.

No... no, I ain't got no loved ones. Never did have, never will.

Gets in the way of the job. Oh, listen, don't you forget.

Don't you say nothing in that telegram about my going after that Indian.

Hear me? Here I go. Yah!

I'm beginning to feel sorry for that poor Indian.

You know, Mrs. Strange, I think I'll just tell them about that sergeant.

You keep saying we're being tracked.

I don't see hew anybody could track us after that rain.

An Indian could. On the train, there's a sergeant called Holly

who tracks like an Indian.

You could always give yourself up, go into Dodge.

Marshal Dillon would see that you got a fair trial.

- Why would he do that for me? - Because he's a fair man.

- He would believe I dishonored you. - That's crazy.

You can't keep running forever.

Gregorio, are you married?

I was. She's dead. My son is too.

Oh. I'm sorry.

What happened to them?

The Fourth Cavalry of the White Eyes happened to them.

While my father and I were talking peace with the general.

- Oh! I can't believe... - I can't either.

Well, what do you keep going back for peace talks?

Because the Apaches wanna give the Fourth Cavalry a chance

to recover their honor.

The Apaches believe in honor.

That's why they still go to peace talks.

They do not run short on patience.

What my people are running short on are Apaches.

Come, we go.

Neither of us will ride. I want the horse to remain strong.

Oh, look at them lovely side by side tracks.

Yeah.

Squaw woman.

Lead his horse half the night and then walk along side by side.

Well, Miss Kitty Russell,

you may be a woman, but you sure ain't no lady.

Hey, horse.

Three hours ahead, and then let a woman slow him down.

I tell you there just ain't no predicting red Indians. Yah, yah!

Can't we just sit down and rest for a while?

- I just... - Shh!

Quiet.

- What are you doing? - The horse does not like

the rattle of a snake. He runs as long as he hears it.

I... I just don't understand.

Sergeant Holly will run after him.

This Sergeant Holly you keep talking about.

You sound as though he's right behind us.

Miss Russell? Miss Kitty Russell?

This here's Sergeant Holly!

United States Fourth Cavalry!

I... I've come to rescue you from that heathen savage!

You answer, I will put you on this horse tied to his belly.

Miss Russell, you don't have to be afraid to go on and sing out!

Sure ain't nobody gonna accuse you of any wrongdoin'!

Go ahead! It's plain for anybody to see

that you was drug ever' step of the way,

against your sweet, virtuous, better judgment!

- Yes, ma'am. - What's he talking about?

Hey.

How long ago did this Sergeant Holly set out after them, Amos?

Just after first light this morning.

But if he ever catches up with them, I sure wouldn't trust him, Marshal.

- Why not? - Why, he's crazy.

- The man's ravin' mad. - What makes you say that?

Why, he threw Mrs. Strange out of her bed.

I see.

Well, Amos, thanks a lot for sending me the wire, anyway.

- Say hello to the missus for me. - Yeah. I'll tell her you called.

What I should be doing with you, Private Horse,

is feed you to War Priest to the red Jicarillas.

Hooves and tail.

On second thought, I can't say I blame you for running out on that butte.

Thinking you got a rattler up your nostril.

Woman, you are free to go.

You... you won't give yourself up to Marshal Dillon?

No.

You know, in your condition and no horse,

that Sergeant Holly is bound to track you down.

- Not if you help me. - Help how?

- To kill him. - Oh, no.

No, I couldn't do that.

Then you are free.

Why walk anymore?

The sergeant will be here soon. You could ride with him.

You... you figure I can slow him down that way, huh?

Well...

Tell you the truth, I have had my share of walking.

Gregorio.

I just want you to know, I think you've been wronged.

Hey, whoa now.

Well now, praise the Lord, for I had lost the trail,

and Io, hath found it again. Whoa! There we go.

That red man has been here, I can smell him.

Yeah. Come on, boy.

- Where is he at, squaw? - What'd you call me?

He was too weak to walk and you was kind enough to lead his horse.

Now, just a minute. Now, you just wait a minute.

- He ambushed me, forced me to go... - Forced? No, no, no, no.

I read track too good for that. Going along there side by side.

I guess that explains why he didn't bash you in the head

as the first order of business, huh?

Well, now I know what he meant by the Fourth Cavalry.

What? What's that you said?

Listen, soldier boy. I resent your attitude.

And I deny your accusations. And I'm outraged...

Only decent women get outraged.

Hey, don't you... don't you run The Long Branch over there at Dodge?

That's right.

And that makes me a taxpayer, and an American citizen.

And entitled to the dubious privilege of having the protection

- of the United States Fourth Cavalry. - Now, maybe it used to.

But not since you took on an Apache boyfriend.

Now, where is he?

- He's gone. - Huh?

- And I'm glad. - Gone, huh?

You're a disgrace to that uniform, Sergeant Holly.

Maybe he's gone, and maybe he ain't.

Maybe he's gonna sneak back in here when you and I are making camp tonight

and scrag old Holly with a billyhook. Right?

You haven't been right since you put that uniform on.

Wait a minute. I ain't no trick buster. I ain't gonna spoil his fun.

Yeah, well, I reckon this is a good place to make camp as any.

And then I might just pour a little of this white lightning down your throat,

and who knows, you just might take a shine to old Holly.

How about that, Madam Long Branch?

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Hey, that's not bad, you know, Long Branch.

Yeah, if you ain't picked out your red Indian name,

that'd sound pretty good. Squaw Long Branch.

Oh, you simple-minded, foul-mouthed...

Stop it! You'll kill him!

- Is he dead? - I don't know.

I can't see with the whiskey in my eyes.

Slopped all the baby-blue lacquer right off my eyeballs.

Rest of my life I'll be lookin' out at the world through egg whites.

- He's moving. - That so, huh?

Well, then I got me a surprise for that nice Apache.

Yeah, have this. Huh?

Hello there, Chief Short Horn Gregorio,

War Priest of the Indian Nation, huh?

Hero of the Long Branch.

You run off and forgot your nice Apache bracelets,

so I brought you some nice, shiny new ones.

- Dog. - Just like the ones I put

on your dear daddy before I buried him.

- You did that? - Oh, yeah, I did.

He's wearin' them now for certain.

Clankin' around up there in eternity just like a good Apache ought to.

Whoo!

Ah!

What...?

I'm placing you under citizen's arrest.

Citizen's arr... what is a citizen's arrest?

I don't know the legal definition, but you're drunk in uniform.

You been offensive to me. And you're derelict in your duty to help me.

You mistreated that prisoner. And you provoked him into attacking you.

Now, if that ain't enough,

then I'm arrestin' you because I got a stinkin' suspicion

you're about to get violent!

Miss Russell, now, Miss Russell, I do wanna apologize for my conduct.

But you see, I been travelin' with a very rough crowd.

It's called the United States Fourth Cavalry.

And they got me in some very bad habits, them fellas did.

Yes. I mean, they told me we was havin' an Apache war.

And I got to... I got very abusive to my Indian brothers.

I did. And then we got into a terrible frasculation

when they was practicin' their archery, you know.

And we got, I suppose, unduly irascible when them arrows was comin' in our eyes,

and started to mistreat our jolly red brothers.

Now, just like today, you know, when he come trumblin' down on me,

I should've knowed all he wanted to do was just snatch a little off my scalp.

But I'm just another one of them nasty troopers that's runnin' wild

around the real estate here, scalpin' red property owners.

That's...

Uh, citizen's arrest, huh?

Well, whatever... whatever you say, Miss Russell.

- Drop the gun belt. - Oh.

Yes. Yes, ma'am.

Where's the pistol?

Right there, squaw, lookin' at you. Huh?

Now, this is a six shot Smith & Wesson

number three revolver.

And that thing you're holdin' is a 15 shot Henry carbine.

And they're both 44 caliber.

And they can both blow the hump off a buffalo at a hundred yards.

Now...

I figure if we time it just right and aim real careful,

why, we just might manage to blow each other straight into hell fire

at the very same instant.

What's the matter? Is it too late in the day to kill

or too early in the evenin' to die?

Ah... Oh, well, that's a good squaw.

Oh, yeah, that's a good squaw there.

You know, for... for just a minute there,

when you was all up on your haunches like that,

I almost mistook you for a lady.

You know, you're gonna have to touch me a little softer, see,

now like when you do that!

That do make your jaw bone tingle just a little bit, don't it?

You son of a dog!

- You brother of a pig! - What? Oh!

Well, in as much as that ain't possible, I won't take no offense.

Here, come on, get on your feet, red man. Ah!

You know something,

you two sure don't make weary traveler feel very much welcome.

But I tell you what we'll do, we'll...

we'll just get a move on and we'll go on into Dodge,

where tonight I am gonna become a civilian at midnight.

Just remembered...

The physical human body can only hold five quarts.

I'd say you thought of that just in the nick of time.

What'd you say?

A couple more swallows and you'll drown.

Woman, you and me in the same conversation?

I mean, what in the bugle hellebores brush are you chatterin' about?

How many jars of that stuff does that make today?

I ain't talkin' about whiskey, I'm talkin' about blood.

Everybody got five quarts, exceptin' him.

My point is that, accordin' to my calculations,

he's down to about his last jigger full.

You don't care whether he lives or dies.

Ah, he ain't gonna die. Indians don't need blood no more than a snake.

Look at him,

sitting there like a nit on a gnat's knee bone.

Just pretendin' he's dyin'.

Waitin' for me to bifurcate my attention.

Hey. Ain't that right, Short Horn?

Huh?

I was thinking about you.

Oh, you've been thinking about old Holly, have you?

- Yes. - Well, tell me, what?

You told us your enlistment ends this day.

So you are no longer a soldier.

But a man alone in an alien country, of which I am a citizen.

You... you ain't no citizen of this country!

- What? - It's the law.

It's a stupid law.

I am a citizen of this country.

He is a citizen of the United States.

He is the intruder, not I.

Don't you call me no intruder, you beady-eyed, bat-fowlin' alien!

You are worse.

You are an agent from another country, an enemy soldier.

I'm gonna kick your hunkers right up through your scalp lock!

Sergeant, you can't attack a man in chains. Good Lord!

I ain't attackin' nobody.

I'm just addressin' this here spandrel-nosed aborigine

cheek to jowl on the subject of who's intrudin'.

I ask you no quarter, Sergeant. All I ask is a fair fight.

Oh, I'm gonna give you a fair fight,

just as soon as I can figure out some kind of an even contest.

For starters, I'd like to see if you can bleed a little slower

and I'll see if I can get drunk.

- Sergeant Holly? - Yeah?

You can't fight a man in his condition.

Now, look, if that horse of yours is rested enough,

why don't we just move on out of here and get him someplace

where we can get that shoulder tended to.

The sooner we get it done, the more chance he has.

- We go when I say we go. - Do you know what I think?

I think you're just working yourself up so you can kill him.

I don't have to work myself up for that.

I've felt like that ever since I got on his slithery trail.

Here.

Here.

I think I just coggled up a little game gonna give you about as fair a chance

to scrag me as you're likely to get.

Sergeant, if you have to kill him,

you don't have to make a game out of it!

Miss Russell, why don't you just sit down over there

and try to figure out a new lecture for me on proper livin'.

But if you just one more time open up your sweet magnolia goodychops

about soldierin' and fightin' and proper dyin',

like as not I am gonna knock you cold on your pantaloons.

Here, you come on over here with me, redman.

Yeah.

He's so drunk, he doesn't know what he's doing.

Well, did you like what I was doin' when I knowed what I was doin'?

- No! - Well, then why don't you just sit down

on that rock over there and let nature take its course.

I might even improve as I go along.

Tell you something, we ain't careful,

old Long Branch goodychops over there is gonna limit our male options.

Which is, of course, what women likes to do most in life.

What she needs, sure enough, is to have her differences relegated.

And which I intend to get around to just as soon as I get through

clubbin' War Priest here outta his red misery.

Now, listen, this here's a... this here's a game of nerves.

Here, now...

we each got one arm. That fair enough? Hm?

Take hold of that stick there.

That's it. Now, the idea is this:

you let go of that stick any time you get the notion.

And you can go for the big stick.

The only... only trouble is that when you going for that big stick,

I'm gonna be larrupin' your near side with the little one.

I'm telling you, it's something terrible fierce.

Yeah? All right now, redman,

you let go any time you're ready, or I will,

then we can start to whomp on one another.

And then you can either grab the little stick again,

or you can say, "I quit."

Yeah?

Miss Russell, I wouldn't go for that rifle if I was you.

Else this sidearm of mine might go off in your direction

and blow that pompadour clean off your scalp lock.

Oh!

You got more blood left in you than I thought.

Huh!

You stinkin' Indian, playin' like you're half dead.

You better hang on there, War Priest,

because pretty soon you're gonna be clankin' around

with your dear old daddy.

Huh...

You are a good woman.

And my friend.

And when you learn about your mouth...

you shall be a great woman.

Sergeant Holly.

Why, you...

- You let him go! - Well, you might say that.

Why, you loudmouth bag of wind!

You been doing nothing all day but scheming about how you can let him go!

Yeah, well, but he's one of the good 'uns, see?

And you got to... you got to keep a few of the good 'uns,

because they's the one's that's gonna keep the breed strong.

You know, all that activity kinda sobered me up.

Uh, you know, when old Holly's sober,

well, there ain't hardly a woman this side of the divide that would complain.

- I... Well, now... - I'll shoot!

Oh, now, listen, half the reason I let him go

was so you and I could be nicer to each other.

I'm ready to pull this trigger, you maniac.

No, no, you ain't gonna do that no more you did the last time.

You know why?

'Cause you kinda took a reluctant shine to old Holly, didn't you?

Kitty, you all right?

Well, except for a few blisters, I think I'm fine.

- Where's the Indian? - Oh, he let him go.

What in the spanglin' Hellespont hit me that time?

Oh!

Hey, Lord!

You best tell these people to stop hittin' old Holly in the headquarters,

else his hind quarters is gonna be yours soon and previous!

Wait a minute, somebody better start me out all over again here.

- The last I heard... - Hey, Marshal Bigfist.

What time is it?

It's a little after midnight, Sergeant.

Never mind the "Sergeant."

Midnight.

I just...

become an alien citizen.

One thing I learned, if you're gonna take a stage trip,

you better have your walk-a-boots handy.

Those was the best I could find.

I think I recognize them. Boot Hill.

Well, yeah, but, see, we had so much rain lately,

the graves is all gettin' overgrown hidin' the markers.

I reckon I did kind of a service. Oh, hi, Marshal.

You know, I'm still tryin' to figure out what charges,

if any, to file against you.

You know, I like that, if any, I been livin' on that for 20 years.

- Where is he? Where's that Indian? - Listen, you little feisty

supernumerary, I'm a civilian. Don't raise your adenoids to me.

- I buried him. - You buried him?

- That's right. - I don't believe it.

Well, you ask Miss Russell.

Oh, that's right, Lieutenant.

I can guarantee you that Mr. Gregorio's in the happier hunting ground.

Sam, would you pour a round of drinks here, please?

Holly, the way you hated that Indian, you would've had his scalp.

- Now, where's his scalp? - I wouldn't let him take it.

That's right.

Now, wait a minute.

There's something funny going on around here.

Marshal, you were there too, did you see a grave dug?

Well, now, Lieutenant, I... I don't think we can exactly

call Miss Russell here a liar, do you?

Hey! He does,

and I'm gonna sharpen his nether end with a hatchet

and pummel him right into a road bed.

Holly, that's insubordination!

You forget, I'm a civilized civilian.

Yeah, well you still gotta help me make out our report. Now, come on!

Every lieutenant needs a good sergeant.

Miss Kitty, you're a lot of woman.

Don't you be surprised if old Holly comes a-courtin' one day.