Original subtitles

Please. I raised my children

the same way my dad raised me.

My father would look at me and say,

"I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out."

I didn't know if he was my father or a hired assassin.

But that healthy fear of him,

that's what kept me in check.

Okay, but today's parents are evolving.

You can't expect your kids to continue to be

the Neanderthal that you are.

"Me like meat. No like father."

(laughing)

Yeah, I agree with Dr. Reed.

I mean, why can't you be friends with your kids?

Because it doesn't work.

Maybe for you.

I don't think any kid should be afraid of their parent.

NINA: Damon Junior!

(shrieks)

You mean like you're afraid of your wife?

He's too quick. Trip him!

IVY: Hello?

We're on the air.

You're so fast, buddy.

You know how I do. Yeah.

Mm, mm, mm, ah! (chuckles)

Ow!

Okay. So, what did Trey do now?

I told him to clean his room

and instead, he took all of his belongings

and just threw them in the trash.

She said, "Get rid of the mess."

So I did.

Okay. Let me see you

"friend" your way out of this one.

Watch me.

Hey, buddy. Um, did your mom

tell you to do something?

Yeah, but you know how Nina be tripping.

She do be tripping! (laughing)

She do.

Women, am I right?

But... (clears throat) she's still your mother.

Right? And she told you to do something.

So, why don't you take the stuff out of the trash can

and put it back in your room, okay, pal?

But I have a mandatory

Call of Duty meeting at 5:00, so...

why don't you do it, Damon?

I mean, if it's mandatory,

I got to...

What? It's mandatory, Dad.

Come with me.

You let your son call you "Damon"?

Yeah, that's my name. (chuckling)

You gave it to me.

Look at this guy. He had to work.

You know, I didn't know my father even had a name.

His tombstone says, "Here lies Sir."

IVY: Junior,

kids need structure and rules.

That's what I'm talking about.

But they also need a safe space and a loving support system.

Ha! In your face, baldy!

(imitating record scratching)

No, in your face.

It starts with him calling you "Damon"

and it ends with him calling you collect

from Rikers Island.

God, Dad, you are so old-school with your parenting.

Besides, everyone knows

inmates have cell phones now.

Do you know where they keep those cell phones?

♪ Hot Pocket. ♪

Okay...

This is clearly

a father-son moment,

so I'm gonna head to the kitchen.

Okay.

You see that? She's always touching all over me.

I think she likes me.

Dad... (chuckling) no one likes you.

It's all in your head, man. No, I'm telling you.

She's always looking at me with the googly eyes.

I think those are just her eyes.

No, even at the podcast.

Every time I look up,

she's looking at me like this.

(chuckles)

She's sitting right across from you.

She's waiting for you to finish talking.

I know what I know.

Junior!

Ah!

I just got a call from the school.

Did you know that Trey pulled the fire alarm yesterday?

They had to evacuate the whole school.

(robotic voice): Collect call

from inmate number 5512775.

Okay. Teach me how to daddy.

Don't ever say it like that again.

♪ Poppa's ♪

♪ House ♪

♪ Yeah. ♪

Okay.

Day one, "Jerk Training."

You ready? Yeah, yeah. I'm ready.

Yeah, uh, Nina said

I need to, uh, "vadge up," whatever that means.

Can you teach me how to vadge up?

I cannot teach you how to "vadge up"

but I can teach you how to ball down.

Okay, you ready to begin?

Yeah, um...

Get me a glass of milk. Something delicious.

JUNIOR: Wait.

Is that my house? Yes.

Are you spying on me? Yes.

I put cameras in your house

so that I can observe your parenting style.

Oh. Okay?

So let's go to the tape.

You call that milk?

Okay. So, what did you do wrong there?

Mm-hmm. I see it, I see it.

Yeah, I gave him two percent,

he likes that full-fat stuff.

No!

He didn't ask you for milk.

He ordered you to give him milk.

You're the parent. You order him.

Yeah, but I'm just, like, not the ordering kind of guy.

You know?

(sighs) Okay, fine.

You know who is?

(with accent): Tony.

Tony? Who's Tony?

You remember when you was a kid,

and that kid Donald McLorey pantsed you in the hallway

in front of everybody?

What'd you do? Oh, yeah.

I became, uh, Tony Provolone-y.

Yeah. The big cheese.

My tough guy persona that I created... Yeah.

♪ In my musical theatre class! ♪

(panting)

How are you even my son?

Let's go back to Tony. Right.

Okay? What did Tony tell Donald?

Oh, I-I said, um, I said to him, I said,

(with accent): "Hey, Donald-sh.

"You pulled the wrong guy's pants down yesterday.

"And today?

"I'm gonna pull your pants down.

"Matter of fact,

"I'm pulling everybody's pants down in here.

"I'm pulling your pants down!

"I'm pulling your pants down.

I'm pulling your pants down."

Hey!

What are you doing, Damon?

Damon? Who's Damon?

I don't know no Damon. I'm Tony, all right?

Tony don't take none from nobody-sh.

Tony "The Jerk," he wears tight shirts

and a black leather jacket

with no socks.

I like it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

He's got a switchblade

in his back pocket, except it's a comb.

I'm following you.

I like it, I like it. Yeah. Yeah.

And if someone's really pissing him off...

Okay, what do you do?

Like, really pissing him off?

What do you do?

(raspy voice): You dance at him!

(snapping rhythmically)

You look him right in the eyes,

and you dance at him!

No! There's no dancing.

This is not West Side Story.

This is more Good Fellas. Joe Pesci.

Oh, Good Fellas. Got it.

All right. It's like, uh...

(with accent): Do I amuse you?

Am I funny to you?

How is my dancing funny to you?!

That's it!

I'm gonna dance your sweet little pants

right off, right now!

Hey! How did you do that?

I don't know. I just kind of go like this.

(snaps) (mumbles)

Would you stop doing that?

Just know I got them holstered.

Look, Junior.

Tony is not a dancer. He's a mobster.

A mobster.

Tough guy. Tough guy.

Like, dangerous. Yes. Yes.

Like-like Al Pacino.

Tony Soprano. Mm-hmm.

Bad guy. Yeah.

Yeah. By day, he's busting kneecaps.

But at night, he's busting moves!

Bop.

Hey! Get out.

Get out!

My-My, do you know

how excited Mommy is for the dance recital?

Yeah. You can't stop talking about it.

Okay, look.

I know usually Mommy can be a little controlling,

and my personality can be a bit Type A... plus.

But today, I'm fun Mommy!

(laughing)

That's a really long laugh.

Say you're fun Mommy again, and I'll try not to laugh.

I'm a fun M-- (laughs)

I couldn't do it.

Now, come on.

Show me your dance.

Why don't I just surprise you

while I'm on stage?

It's my dance that I created.

Of course, baby, it is your dance,

but you have to show Mommy the steps

so I can improve them... I mean, I mean,

give you constructive criticism.

Did Mommy ever tell you

I was almost a professional ice-skater?

Every day.

And then somebody hit your knees with a bat so you quit.

No, that was Nancy Kerrigan,

and it was a pipe.

Look, you need to really practice this

so you can beat all the other losers

and win first place.

I don't care about winning. I just want to have fun.

Winning is fun!

Now go on...

Wow me.

(upbeat dance music playing)

(squealing)

Maya, that was amazing!

I just have a few notes.

Where's a pipe when I need one?

♪ ♪

Touching. Touching.

There's nothing about touching in here.

What's up, Pop?

Hey. What's up, son?

How'd it go?

Oh, great. Yeah?

You're gonna stick with that, huh? Yup.

Okay.

All right. Well, then, let's go to the tape.

Oh, you-you recorded that one, too?

I absolutely did.

(with accent): Hey. What did I tell you about cleaning your room?

After this level, Damon.

Oh, well, that's enough of that.

We don't need to see the rest of that.

Yeah, we don't need to see the rest of it

'cause I watched it all.

I told you to go over there and be his father.

To be tough.

No, you want me to be you, and I'm not.

Nor do I ever want to be. Dad, you were a tyrant.

No, I was stern.

I didn't let you get away with anything.

Yeah, you yelled at me for everything.

That's all you remember, but you don't remember

what you did to get yelled at.

You are raising

a boy to be a man,

and you got to teach him respect and boundaries,

because life is not gonna love him like you do.

Well, Dad, I was terrified of you my entire childhood.

I couldn't talk with you,

I couldn't reason with you.

It was like living with a drill sergeant.

No, it was like living with a father.

And the way I saw it is,

I got to teach you lessons,

otherwise life is gonna teach you lessons.

Yeah, well, I don't want my son to resent me

the way I resent you.

You resent me?

(scoffs)

I don't want to talk about it.

Now, your hands are an extension of the body.

They should come up and through in one fluid motion.

You kind of just...

did it like this, like a newborn baby T.rex.

Mom, you said this is fun. This is the opposite of fun.

(sighs) Listen, baby.

Mommy almost went to the Olympics,

but I didn't take it seriously, and because of that,

I got injured.

And then my life changed.

I don't want you to have the same regrets.

I don't know what regrets are,

but I think I'm gonna have one now.

(laughs)

Oh, you're hilarious.

Now, a-five, six, seven, eight.

(screams)

♪ ♪

Everything okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. Everything's good.

You want to talk?

Why is everything talking with you?

I'm a psychologist.

All right, you don't want to talk? Let's not talk.

Wait a minute, did you just do that reverse psychology on me?

Because now, all of a sudden, I want to talk.

Okay.

I'm listening.

All right.

I just found out that Junior hates me.

What? Why would you even think that?

Because we were talking

about how he was raised

and what a "tyrant" I was

and how now he resents me.

Okay, well, "tyrant" tracks.

Listen,

resent and hate are two different things.

I resent you,

but I don't hate you.

That's funny, because I hate you but I don't resent you.

Mm. I know you're kidding.

You love me.

Listen, Poppa,

when someone you love is truthful like that,

they are giving you an opportunity.

For what?

To improve the relationship.

But I thought we had a great relationship.

You do.

And you have a great son.

But there is always room to improve any relationship.

The door is open.

The question is,

are you gonna go through it?

What exact door are we talking about?

You're a smart man.

Figure it out.

♪ ♪

Honey, I need you to do carpool on Tuesday

because I have the--

Trey, I thought I took that controller away from you

for pulling the fire alarm.

You did, but I know all your hiding places

because we're the same height.

Are you dumb?

Shut up, Maya.

Do not tell your sister to shut up.

She keep blabbing her big mouth like you, stupid.

Who are you talking to?

Why you tripping, Damon?

I'm tripping because that is my wife,

and I don't like how you're speaking to her.

But... No buts. I brought you in this world

and I will take you out if you ever disrespect

your mother like that again.

Do you hear me?

Apologize to her.

I'm sorry, Mom.

Now put that thing down and go to bed.

Yes, Dad.

Sir.

Where's my apology?

Got it.

Come on, honey.

Go upstairs, okay?

Wow.

Thank you, honey.

I always knew you had that in you.

I-I can't believe it worked. You saw his face?

He was so scared. He was frightened.

(laughs): That was crazy.

When he called you stupid, I was like, "What?"

I was like, "Oh, my God."

But you know,

you did it with love.

Mm.

Love's a kissing word.

Oh.

Well, then, I love...

love, love...

Mm. ...you.

Aww.

♪ ♪

(gasps)

Honey, you look adorable.

I look ridiculous, and I'm not doing this.

Come on, honey,

we're doing this for you.

No, we're doing this for you.

And you ruined it for me.

Did I really? Yes,

and I don't think I'll be able to dance ever again.

I'm sorry, baby.

Those weren't my intentions.

Mommy can be such a knucklehead sometimes.

ANNOUNCER: Okay, coming to the stage,

Maya Fulton and her mom, an almost-Olympic gold medalist.

Okay, okay, come on, let's go.

Ow!

What happened, Mommy?

I think I just twisted my ankle.

I can't go on.

I think you're gonna have to do this without me.

Okay, well, you might want to put an ice pack on it.

Yeah, okay.

I saw that.

You gave up your moment.

It was her moment.

Keep that outfit on for tonight.

You better have an outfit on, too.

Oh, I'm gonna. (chuckles)

(applause)

(upbeat dance music playing)

NINA: Ooh.

(cheering, applause)

Yes!

That's my daughter!

♪ ♪

Hey. Oh.

Hey, I was, uh,

just coming over there to talk to you.

Right, yeah, I was just, uh, I was coming over here

to talk to you. Yeah.

So, I... (stammers)

Well, I was gonna s... Yeah, you didn't...

If you... You want to go first?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds right.

Look, son, I-I can't change the past.

And if I could go back in time,

I probably wouldn't have divorced your mom.

I mean, unfortunately,

you grew up in two different houses with two sets of rules.

Her house was Disneyland, my house was boot camp.

Eh, more like Guantanamo Bay,

Dante's Inferno,

that place where they held the big guy

from Green Mile, you know?

Look, the point is, all the structure was gone

and I had to compensate.

Your mother was afraid.

She'd call me up panicked

because you were a teenage boy

and you were acting out and she couldn't control you.

Like Trey. Hmm.

And so, I had to be the bad guy.

Look, Dad, I appreciate everything

you're saying right now, but...

I'm a dad, too.

You know?

I get it.

I took a stand with Trey the other day

and I got to admit, you know, I see some differences.

(chuckles) You know, he's doing chores now,

he's cleaning up his room, he calls me sir,

which is crazy, 'cause, like,

that's your dad's name.

No, that's a sign of respect.

So, how does it feel?

It feels pretty good.

Okay, hang on to that feeling, because you crossed a line.

You cannot go back and be his friend,

otherwise you'll undo all the progress you've made.

Right. Until he has kids, then...

Ah. ...then things change, right?

Then it gets fun. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

(chuckles)

Hey, I just, um, want to say sorry

for saying I resent you... Mm.

What the heck was that?

You said sorry. That's a kissing word.

That's what you taught me.

Well...

Mm.

(laughs): What was that for?

Kissing's a kissing word, too.

That's it!

(both laugh)

I'm proud of you, son. I love you.

Oh, and, um,

thanks for making me a man.

I take it all back!

What?

Nothing, Billy Porter. Go.

All right.

♪ ♪

CREW MEMBER: Marker. I don't care about winning,

I care about playing.

It's okay. It's...

DIRECTOR: "No, Mom, I don't care about winning, I just..."

(with accent): Oh, my God.

Tina's wide awake.

(with accent): Ooh, I like a good-time Tina.

The one that works at the laundromat.

Yeah, the one with all the quarters.

And hopefully, you're not on your last load.

Oh, I am not!

Ha, ha, ha.

I got a nice roll of quarters

for you right now.

Ooh, make them half-dollars and we got a deal, baby.

Ooh, I can feel the inflation setting in right now.

Ooh. You're greedy.

I'm gonna take you upstairs

and dance with you. Oh, yeah?

You're gonna dance with me?

I'm gonna look you right in the eye

and disappoint you. Ooh.

Yeah! Yeah!

Captioning sponsored by CBS

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Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org