Original subtitles

[? energetic rock music plays, fades]

If I can remove this, then the patient

just might have a chance.

Billie, it's too risky. Don't be a hero.

I have to. I took an oath.

It was written on the side of the box.

I'm going in.

Steady. Steady.

-[buzzes] -[screams, laughs]

[laughs] Yo, I felt that one in my teeth.

Is this supposed to shock us that bad?

No. That's why they stopped making it.

I can't believe you've never played Dr. Shock.

It's a classic!

Yeah, we don't really have board games in the wizard world.

Well, what did you do for fun?

Well, I had this friend, Nerissa,

who was, like, the coolest person at WizTech.

How could anybody be cooler than you?

I know, right? It sounds made up.

We had so much fun.

We'd go orc tipping, we'd ding dong witch,

and we'd play minotaur golf.

Minotaur golf? Is it like miniature golf?

Yeah, except you're the ball.

Nerissa and I were so wild,

teachers called us the "Chaos Queens."

Wow, you were "nickname cool."

My teachers just call me "Works Well with Others."

[wand ringing]

Oh, no way. I am literally getting a WandTime

from Nerissa right now.

Queen Bee, how you wizzin'?

Nerissa! I was just talking about you.

Oh, I know.

I cast a gossip spell on my name.

It alerts me whenever someone mentions me.

[Nerissa's phone chimes]

Oh. [laughs] Professor Dinglebop is texting

about the burp spell I put on him.

[laughs] Whoa. [clears throat]

Never been called that before.

[chuckles] You have not changed.

Hey, I'm Winter. I've heard so much about you.

Actually, I haven't.

I just heard about you today. [chuckles]

Trust me, Nerissa's the best.

You know, I wish we could all hang out.

I can hang out in the mortal world.

I need to lay low anyway.

Got some heat on me after that burp spell.

The Chaos Queens are back! [chuckles]

The mortal world is not ready.

[? theme song playing]

? Everything is not what it seems ?

? When you can have what you want ?

? By the simplest of means

? Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ?

? Because everything is not what it seems ?

? You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ?

? Because everything is not what it seems ?

? Yes, please ?

-? What it seems ? -[? theme song concludes]

And last week in the cafeteria,

I did the burger booger switcheroo spell. [laughs]

Let's just say the lunch lady was snot happy.

[chuckles] You are as wild as you ever were.

So, tell me about all the crazy things

you've been doing in the mortal world.

I bet you rule this place, huh?

Oh, yeah. Well, actually, I'm not supposed to tell

anybody else I'm a wizard.

But you do, obviously.

Of course. [chuckles] I told Winter.

But only after we were friends, and she knew she could trust me.

Wow. Really, uh, living on the edge there, Billie.

Hey, I've gotten into plenty of trouble. [chuckles]

You know, I let a floogie loose in the house.

Now that's my girl. [chuckles]

And then she saved the family by sending it back

to where it came from.

But... [chuckles] ...this one time,

I sent my new wizard teacher, Justin, a shrink box.

Ooh-kay, slay. [chuckles]

And then she spent the rest of the day

helping him get his dream job.

Winter, we don't have to tell the whole story every time.

Hey, it's not your fault you've...

lost your edge.

The mortal world just seems kind of...

Mm...

What's more boring than boring?

Uh, guess who fit five raisins on his celery?

Hey, Roman. This is Nerissa, Billie's friend from WizTech.

I'm sure Roman has something way better to do

than hang out with us.

Indeed I do. I'll be in my room watching

an eight-part documentary on the history of mimes.

Is the mortal world always this boring?

No.

Fun fact about mimes. They used to talk.

Okay, maybe it is.

All right, Russo, the garage isn't gonna clean itself.

[gasps] Unless it did.

Giada, if Billie can't use magic outside of the lair, neither can I.

[groaning sigh]

All right? Besides, I've got a crevice attachment

for my super vac that I have been dying to use.

I haven't seen a twinkle like that

in your eye since you proposed.

Bad news. I killed another one.

[exclaims] If he wasn't holding a plant, I'd be worried.

I'm never gonna be able to grow a sunflower

-for science class. -[phone chimes]

[sighs] And my nemesis, Bella Bianchi,

keeps texting me about her dumb sunflower.

Hello, Milo. My sunflower grew another five inches.

Text me back a video of you crying,

'cause I know you are.

I used to think Bella got her attitude from her mom,

but I think her mom gets it from her.

Can't you just buy me a sunflower?

-Sure! [gasps] -No!

I mean, no. Absolutely not.

It's just, I don't know if I can watch another one die.

Sorry, buddy.

The point of the project is you do it yourself.

Oh, came in here for a glass of water,

but based on that plant, I'm assuming you don't have any.

Who are you?

I'm Nerissa. Billie and I went to WizTech together.

So you're a wizard?

Any chance you know a spell to bring this plant back to life?

Oh, yeah. You're gonna love this.

[clears throat]

Sun above, soil below.

Summon a gnome to make this plant grow.

What's that?

It's a garden gnome. These guys love plants.

He'll help you out for sure.

Bella's gonna barf with jealousy when she sees my sunflower.

Thanks, whatever your name was.

[exhales] Gave him a powerful magical object

and he asked zero questions? Hmm. That's my kind of kid.

Wow, this mime documentary is quiet.

[chews loudly]

Do I always chew this loud?

[knock on door]

[sighs] Hey, Roman, I need to talk to you.

Since I've been here, have I changed?

Well, you knocked before coming in, so that's new.

I did, didn't I? You know, maybe Nerissa's right.

Maybe the mortal world is making me lose my edge.

Hmm, it has been a couple days

since I feared for my life.

Oh, this is bad. I need to up my game.

No, no, no. Your game is perfect where it is!

If anything, I'd down your game!

And she left without listening to me.

So that's the same.

So you get six guesses to guess the word.

But here's the thing. It could be any word.

It could be "fudge," or "plane," or "bunny."

And you play this for fun.

Yeah, it's like the first thing I do

when I wake up in the morning.

It might even be the reason I wake up in the morning.

Everything you're saying is making me sad.

Hey, Billie, listen, I think I'm just gonna go.

But you just got here.

Feels like I've been here forever.

Uh, wait. [chuckles] You can't leave now.

If you leave now, you'll miss, uh, the party.

You're having a party?

Yeah. [chuckles]

A wizard party, and it's gonna be wild.

Like, "wake up the next morning, can't find my wand" wild.

Now that's the Billie I remember.

You had me scared for a minute.

-[chuckles] Chaos Queens! -[chuckles] Chaos Queens!

And introducing Winter!

We'll work on that.

[? energetic rock music playing]

Okay, we gotta invite Phoenix and Dax and Frankie

and Iggy to the party.

Oh, and what about Doug the werewolf kid?

Uh, you sure?

Remember what happened at the last party?

It's fine. He's house-trained now.

[both chuckle]

Billie, do you really think having a house party

is a good idea?

I mean, what if everybody makes a mess?

-I'll use magic. -What if somebody breaks something?

I'll use magic.

What if somebody starts a fire?

I'll use a hose.

Which I'll conjure. With magic.

Okay, fine.

But Mr. and Mrs. Russo are right outside.

They could catch us.

Maybe we should just run this by them.

You better get a handle on your girl.

She talking crazy.

Winter, I'll cast a party-proof spell.

The Russos won't hear any noise we're making.

Nerissa and I know what we're doing.

We're not gonna get caught.

You got caught all the time at WizTech.

And there were times where we didn't get caught.

This is gonna be like one of those times.

You ready to unleash your inner Chaos Queen?

Well, you've addressed all my concerns, so I'm in.

Okay, gnome, make my plant grow!

Uh, plantus growus.

Maybe I have to rub him like a genie lamp.

Nope! Nobody's rubbin' nothin'.

Whoa! You can talk!

Whoa! You can point out the obvious!

Kid, what'd you do to this poor plant?

I think I over-watered it, or maybe I under-watered it.

I don't know, I kind of lost track after I killed the first dozen.

Dozen?! You're a monster.

Can you fix it or not?

Yeah, I can bring that plant back to life,

but in return, you gotta give me something I want.

What do you want?

It's nothing. I promise. Not even worth discussing.

Sounds good to me.

A magical bargain, and he didn't ask a single question?

That's my kind of kid.

Let's get you a plant.

That's even bigger than Bella's!

When she sees this, she's gonna...

I don't know what she's going to do.

I've never actually beaten her in anything before.

Uh, uh, uh! Not so fast.

Now, for my side of the bargain.

-[laughs mischievously] -What's happening?

[laughs mischievously]

You made me the gnome?

Yeah, I did! Finally,

I'm free of that ceramic prison.

See you later, dum-dum! [laughs gleefully]

I need to start asking questions.

I gotta find Dad!

[crashes]

I'm okay.

-[? upbeat dance music playing] -? ...around me I'm a star ?

? D, O, double B, R ?

? Pressure over winning ?

? Everything revolves around me I'm a star ?

? Me, myself and I don't go... ?

All right, this party's off the wand.

Yeah, it's great. For the mortal world.

Well, I think this is the best party I've ever been to.

Now, I've never been to a party,

so take that for what it's worth.

Excuse me, pardon me,

just trying to walk through my own house.

Come on, people, use a coaster!

All right, whose can is this?

[growls]

Or... Or do whatever you want,

Mr. Werewolf, s-- sir.

Billie, a word?

Mm, somebody's in trouble.

He can't get me in trouble.

Actually, he can get me in trouble. I should take this.

You have to shut this down before my mom and dad find out.

Mostly my dad. I get the feeling

Mom threw a lot of parties in high school.

Chaos Queens don't shut down parties.

Okay, well, I do.

I'm sorry. Uh, do you know where I can find a coaster?

Are you an angel?

No, a pixie. I'm Iggy.

My name's... [chuckles awkwardly]

Uh, my name's... [chuckles nervously]

Hold on, give me a second, 'cause I know I have one, so...

His name's Roman. He lives upstairs.

Keep him talking, 'cause I gotta go.

Roman. I love that name.

Thank you. My mommy gave it to me.

I mean... [clears throat] ...yeah, no, you know,

whatever. It's-- It's cool. I might change it later.

You're weird! Say something else.

Y-- I... helped my dad pick that paint color.

That is so random. I love it.

Is this what having game feels like?

So, uh, what's a pixie like you

doing in a kitchen like this?

I-- I know you just saw me fall,

but can you look away while I get up?

[? energetic rock music plays, fades]

[blows]

[exhales]

If I had a holster, that'd have been really cool.

It feels so good to get rid of stuff.

Whoa! We can't get rid of this.

Milo's third grade science quiz?

Uh, what if he becomes a famous physicist

and they need it for a documentary?

Honey, I don't think we have to worry.

Milo still thinks if he jumps high enough,

he'll float away.

We can't just clean the garage. We have to get rid of stuff.

It's-- [exhales] But these are memories, okay?

They're memories. I mean, I mean... [splutters]

Look, look. This here, this is Roman's baby blanket.

Remember? He couldn't say his L's.

[chuckles] He called it his "banket."

He wuved his banket.

He also wuved to spit up on his banket.

[exclaims] I guess we don't have to keep everything.

It's just... [sighs] Man, the boys,

they're growing up so fast.

You blink and e-- everything's changed.

I mean, yeah, I remember

when Milo was no bigger than... than that garden gnome.

Hey, Dad!

Milo?

You're a gnome!

I wouldn't be if you just bought me a sunflower.

[sighs] Thank goodness he started talking.

He was in the throwaway pile.

[fabric tearing]

Billie! Here's a fun thing I've never said.

A werewolf is using the couch as a scratching post.

I love this party!

-Doug! -[whines]

You are not supposed to be on the couch.

Bad Doug, bad!

Pillow repair.

Billie, why'd you just yell at Doug?

Are you trying to ruin this party?

Billie wouldn't do that. This party's fire!

That's exactly what this party is missing! Fire!

No, no fire. [blows]

What happened to you? You used to be a Chaos Queen.

Now you're just acting like a...

mortal. No offense.

None taken.

Um... [chuckles] I-- I still am a Chaos Queen.

Then prove it.

Okay, I'll p-- I'll prove it.

You know, I'll do better than prove it.

'Cause what this party needs is a, uh... shadow box.

What's a shadow box?

Terror, darkness, smoke and fear.

Box of nightmares, please appear.

That pretty much covers it.

[gasping]

That's right, it's a shadow box. [chuckles]

No one's ever lasted a full five minutes inside.

Anyone brave enough to try for the record?

Whoa, Billie, you have a shadow box!

Yeah, I do.

And you're letting a mortal go in it?

Yeah, I am.

Wait, what?

Chaos Queens!

[crowd cheers]

Winter!

This is the wildest thing I've ever seen.

And I've watched an eight-part documentary

on mimes.

Are you messing with me?

-[? ominous music playing] -[thunder rumbling]

Winter?! Winter, where are you?!

[growling]

Hopefully nowhere near that.

Winter?!

[? ominous music continues]

If I don't open my eyes, you can't suck out my soul.

I read that somewhere. Or I made it up.

Either way, that's the rule.

[growling]

[screams]

Winter, it's me!

Billie! I'm so glad to see you.

What were you thinking coming in here?

You told me to unleash my Chaos Queen.

Turns out she makes really dumb decisions.

[sighs] This is all my fault.

I didn't mean to put you in danger.

I just wanted to prove to Nerissa

that I haven't lost my edge.

Why would you think that?

'Cause she said I've changed

since I've been in the mortal world.

Is that such a bad thing?

[thunder rumbling]

You know, I thought it was. But maybe it's not.

I mean, I used to love being wild with Nerissa

back at WizTech, and now it just seems so...

Destructive to relationships and sofa cushions?

It's just... [sighs] I've always felt like

I had to be this wild wizard to impress Nerissa.

When I met you, I didn't even know you were a wizard.

Yeah, that's true. You just liked me for me.

That's how friendship's supposed to be, right?

Yeah, I guess it is.

I'm sorry you had to run into a box full of nightmares

for me to learn that.

Hey, thanks for coming after me.

That's how friendship's supposed to be. Right?

So, we good?

[Winter] Uh...

Seriously, we're not good?

No, we are not.

Winter, come on. Please forgive me.

Billie, we're fine, but we're not good.

Oh, yeah, we're bad. We're really bad.

[both scream]

[inhales deeply] Okay, you got this.

And away... we... go!

[groans] Ow!

Hello, Milo.

A human child? Are you friend or foe?

Isn't that clear from the way I said,

"Hello, Milo"?

There's no way you grew that.

Oh, but I did, with a little magic.

Magic? You're being so weird,

I don't even know how to make fun of it.

What is Bella Bianchi doing here?

Probably came over to rub it in my face

that she's not a gnome.

Uh... I don't think that's it, buddy.

-No. -Okay, you get rid of Bella.

We'll figure out how to get Milo his body back.

Okay. [inhales deeply]

Bella, sweetie, now isn't really a good time to play with Milo.

What we do isn't play. It's war.

Listen up, gnome.

You may have the face of my beautiful baby boy,

but I will take you down.

Ha! I'm not afraid of you.

Dad, he loves plants! Use the sunflower!

[exclaims, clears throat]

Ah! What are you doing?

Trade places with Milo or the sunflower gets it!

You wouldn't dare!

I just threw away my son's baby blanket.

You think I care about a plant I just met today?

[whimpers, whines]

What's it gonna be, Gnome?

This plant is getting real heavy.

[whimpers] Okay, fine!

I should probably get out of this body anyway

before it hits puberty. Not doing that again.

[whimpers, groans]

-I'm me again! -[laughs]

[Bella] Who else would you be?

-I thought you got rid of her. -[pants] I tried,

but her dad wouldn't open the door.

I think he's afraid of her.

I know you didn't grow that sunflower on your own.

You're hiding something, and I won't rest

until I find out what it is!

See you, Mr. and Mrs. Russo.

Think she's gonna be a problem?

Is she not already?

-[sighs deeply] -What was that?

A graveling. They serve evil wizards.

What's it doing here?

Whatever it is, it can't be good.

[? ominous musical sting]

Just blast it.

Magic doesn't work in a shadow box.

That's what makes it so scary.

Wait, I have an idea. Follow me.

Winter? Winter, where are you?

I think I got lost.

Stay there, I'll find you!

I said I'd come find you.

Right, sorry.

Oh good, you found me.

What was that?

[screams]

-Keep running! -Why would I stop?

There's the door!

We survived!

[cheering]

Oh man, you were only in there two minutes.

[growls]

Here's your ten bucks, Doug.

-Okay, who's next? -No. No one's next.

[all] Aw.

What are you doing? It's just a lame shadow box.

If it's so lame, then you go in it.

[scoffs]

I mean, I would, but everyone knows...

that you're not supposed to go into a shadow box

until 30 minutes after you've eaten.

And, uh... I just ate.

What are you doing? This is so not cool!

Then you're gonna hate this.

[sighs] All right, people, everybody out.

If you came through the mirror, it's time to disappear.

You have really changed.

I may not be the Billie I used to be,

but I like the Billie I am now.

I like her, too.

Well, personally,

I'm a bigger fan of the old Billie.

But hey... you do you.

It's cool...

Uh, but, I mean, it's-- it's not... cool...

But it's cool...

But, to be clear... it's not cool.

See you, Billie.

Take care, Nerissa.

Well, I better go.

It was nice meeting you, Iggy.

You too. Oh, and my friends call me Ig.

Cool. Mine call me Rome.

Well, I'll see you at the next party, Rome.

Roman's got a girlfriend.

[scoffs] No, I don't!

Unless she said something. Did she say something?

If she said something, you have to tell me!

Come on, just go for it.

But why'd I have to sign a waiver

saying I wouldn't sue the game company for malpractice?

Hurry up before you lose a patient!

All right, Dr. J, going in!

So cool.

-[buzzes] -[screams]

[both laugh]

Is anyone else's tongue numb?

[growls lightly]

Anything you guys wanna tell me?

Uh, Roman's got a girlfriend.

Was that her?

[? energetic rock music plays, fades]

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