Original subtitles

Narcissism, but we're talking about it from your side this time.

What I'm gonna do is break down the eight different stages

of a relationship with a narcissist,

so you can then keep them as red flags

or if you think you're in one.

Now you have a gauge for it.

I'm gonna talk about the stage itself,

what they're trying to accomplish and how they're doing it,

and then what you're more than likely feeling.

So it's gonna be comprehensive,

and I'm gonna talk fast. So get a pen.

Pause, like, follow,

download, whatever you got to do.

Here we go. You meet somebody.

Stage one, the idealization stage.

At the start, everything feels perfect.

The narcissist put you on a pedestal.

Love bombing feels fantastic.

They make you feel special and valued.

You hear things like,

I've never had anybody make me feel that way before.

What's happening is you are being hooked.

This is the attention,

intense phase where they're building your dependency on them.

You want more of that attention.

It feels good. Of course it feels good.

Who doesn't like that, right?

Two. The devaluation stage

now comes in. Little criticisms.

They start pointing out little flaws.

You notice that their behavior starts to become a little inconsistent.

You start feeling maybe a little uneasy,

steady, kind of watching a little bit more.

What's happening is the illusion of perfection is starting to crack.

You're seeing those cracks.

What they're doing is they're testing your Boundaries

to see how much actual control they have over you.

I know that sounds messed up,

and it is. Number three,

the gaslighting stage. We talked about this yesterday.

They're dismissing any concerns you have.

They're distorting your reality

and trying to make you question your reality.

Because they need you dependent on their reality.

They need your awareness focused on them.

You're gonna hear things very,

very common. You are overreacting.

You'll hear that a lot in this stage.

What's happening is they're gaslighting

because they're tightening their grip around yourself.

Trust. They're keeping you again

dependent on their version of what reality is.

No.4, the silent treatment,

or the withdrawal stage, right,

is another name for it.

This is the emotional intimacy becomes non existent.

The physical intimacy becomes non existent.

You gonna get the cold shoulder,

emotional distance, all because you express the need or a concern.

Why is this happening? This is their way of punishing you, right?

Keeping you a little bit on the hook,

punishing you for challenging their control

or why? Why could you possibly voice

any type of dissatisfaction with the relationship?

How dare you? Number five,

the exhausted state. Exhaustion stage.

You now start feeling drained,

walking on eggshells,

unable to express yourself without fear of any type of backlash.

Right. What it means or why this is happening

is your energy is just now being completely depleted. Intentionally.

This is the turning point for you.

This is where You really start questioning,

is the relationship worth it?

Is the loss of yourself that's eroding

worth what you're getting out of the relationship?

No.6, the recognition stage.

You now start to begin to see the patterns clearly,

and you wonder, how did I miss that?

You see the emotional manipulation for what it was from the beginning,

and you start thinking about leaving, maybe.

Or you start setting boundaries

at least, right?

So now you're kind of really on guard at this point.

What this means, or what's happening

is you are reclaiming your power.

That's great. But the narcissist is gonna start sensing this,

and now they're gonna start shifting and reacting.

We're about to talk about it.

Stage 7, the escalation stage.

Now the narcissist realizes you are on your way out.

They're gonna try a lot of different tricks now.

They are going to stop listening all together,

maybe become more aggressive,

escalate their tactics that they know have worked in the past

to regain control. So things you're familiar with are gonna be enhanced,

and they're gonna bring in some new tactics as well.

What this means,

my opinion, this is the most dangerous phase

because they know and are in fear of losing you.

And that's gonna translate into manipulation,

emotional outburst, and even potentially threats.

Last stage, No. 8,

the final break stage. You make decision.

The decision to leave.

Whether it's emotional or physical reasons doesn't matter.

Maybe both. The narcissist Is gonna probably retaliate.

They're gonna start running your name around town,

maybe in a bad way, right?

Putting you in a bad light,

blaming you, guilt tripping you.

At some point, the funny part is,

they're gonna do all that,

and then they're gonna try to re enter your life

like it never even happened.

That bad things that they said or did after you left.

It's nuts. What it means is they have lost complete control.

You have to stay firm in your decisions.

Don't break and go back. Right?

You made a decision. You had your experiences.

You had enough. Now it's time to move forward.

So there you have it.

Wanted to break it down a little bit again with the different stages.

I hope you see some value in it.

Hit me up in the comments.

Let me know what you think.