Original subtitles

♪- I know you probably want me to tell Amira...

♪- Well, are you already planning for us to not work out?

♪ I'll recover from the episode, but it'll never be behind me.

I'll recover from the episode, but it'll never be behind me.

That's why I was kind of hoping that you would let me come back to emerg.

While we can't always control the wait,

we can improve how the patient experiences it.

It's just one piece of a larger puzzle

I'm trying to put together, and the reason you hired me.

And also because we knew you'd approach change deliberately.

The hospital's been talking to Roberta Matheson

and she wants you to admit fault.

She wants me to admit I'm an abuser.

I was messed up long before the crash.

I'm not gonna live a lie. - I need a doctor!

- Okay. I am a doctor. - No! Get off of me!

Ah! You want me to use my injury

to get some sympathy from Devi.

Uh, well, if you know that, then why don't you do it?

What if that woman reacted to me?

In a discriminatory way?

That's my school audition song.

Amira, you forged my signature.

If I don't get in, none of this will matter anyway.

You don't want me to be happy, you act like you're doing

a good job, but they were good parents, you're not.

Well, you and I disagree.

We'll talk about it when I get there, okay?

Rania was caught off-guard, but uh, she said that I should

just let Amira stay there and calm down.

Yeah. That sounds like good advice.

No, I told her to get Amira's things ready.

- Bash, I-- - You should go home.

I'll call you when I'm done. - No, Bash, wait, wait.

Why don't you just... just play this out for a second?

What are you gonna do? You're gonna get there,

you're gonna drag her out by force?

- She's my responsibility. - Yes, and she's safe.

With someone that you trust

and someone that she's comfortable with.

She's my family. Are you really suggesting

that I just don't do anything because we had an argument

about where she should go to school!

Bash, being a teenage girl is so hard,

it's like your brain's on fire,

you feel scared and fierce and fragile all at once.

I'm just... I'm suggesting patience.

You're suggesting I do nothing.

No. No, not nothing.

Just... take time.

Get perspective.

- One night. - Two nights.

And then she comes home.

And once the patient receives a hospital ID,

you can only search for that patient using the last six digits of that number.

If you type in seven, the computer's gonna think you're looking for labs.

Don't do it.

Speaking of labs...

Theo, thanks for picking up that shift today.

Sure. Uh, not the best time I realize,

but I'm not going to apologize to Roberta Matheson

and go on the record as an abuser.

If you have an issue with that, let me know.

- No photocopying. - No unpaid overtime.

And all our breaks are taken outside emerg.

- Yeah, sorry, why is that? - Because normally we get roped

into work during our breaks.

By doctors that are still asking us to do more.

We're just trying to make sure we're on the same page

about the nursing situation.

To be clear, this is not a union action.

This is a work-to-rule initiated by our emerg nurses.

They'll be performing strictly contractual duties.

No treatments that doctors should be billing for,

no portering, no cleaning.

Please know that we are doing everything that we can

to address nurses issues around workflow changes

and some unexpected burdens falling their way.

More like all expected burdens.

Okay.

- Hey. - Hey.

Tight spot. I know.

- Yeah. - I've added temps.

Thanks for approving the overages.

Calling in casuals is not sustainable.

And with a province-wide shortage, how many are even emerg nurses?

One in four.

You're still happy you walked into this?

Okay, but communication scores are up, and the surveys

we've been collecting, and that's with all of these challenges.

No, no, data does not drive change.

- Uh-huh. - And the contingency budget

dries up next week and money's gotta come from somewhere.

- Understood. - If you want the benefit

of my experience... - Of course.

Stop trying to be a friend to all.

There is no way that everyone walks out of this unscathed.

Hey, what do we got?

I've got Solomon Morris, 23, found down on Bay Street.

And I've got Brock Paulson, nasal fracture after passing out behind the wheel of his car.

- So, he hit Mr. Morris? - I hit a tree, on Sherbourne.

Oh God, I hope I didn't hit a person too.

My heart's pounding in my chest.

BP's stable, but he's tachy...

We tried radioing in, but no one answered.

Word at our station house is your nurses are on work to rule?

Was Mr. Morris struck by a vehicule?

Because those two streets are nowhere near each other.

No evidence of trauma, but we can't rouse him.

Wait, I'm confused, which one's more urgent?

- We picked them up separately. - Who's going where?

Claire, are you still on routing now because...

It's not complicated, guys.

Uh, Theo, take trauma, and Mags, recess.

How much did she drink?

A few tequilas, but she's been vomiting bile repeatedly.

No evidence of gallstones. X-ray shows distended bowel.

But that could be from the adenocarcinoma in her pancreas.

Have you called her oncologist?

Zola says her prognosis is three years at best, even if they resect.

She starts treatment next week. - Then we need to get in there.

Investigate what's up with the bowel so she makes it that far.

- You're thinking laparoscopy? - Exploratory lap.

We don't wanna cause any damage that would delay chemo.

There is a spot on the board at... 11:00 PM.

I'm happy to stay.

Nice one!

I appreciate the commitment, Dr Hamed,

but we need to bump someone before she gets emergent.

All we found on him was a driver's license

from the state of Oklahoma. - BP's ninety over seventy now.

Where are we on that ECG?

Theo, everyone else is spoken for.

You okay to go this alone? - Depends what we're looking at.

Can you help me cut here?

Just so I know, was is this work action mean for you as an NP?

That you treat me as an RN until it's resolved.

Irma, O-two, and monitor his breathing.

Hematoma DVT?

No, it's cold, not warm.

Pallor, wooden.

Can I get a pressure needle?

Theo, his BP's dropping.

Injecting saline.

Eighty millimeters mercury.

Acute compartment syndrome. - Without obvious trauma?

If we don't relieve the pressure in his leg, he could lose it.

He needs an urgent fasciotomy. Can you help?

Yes, but nurses' duties only.

Okay.

His rate's climbing. 195. He's in SVT.

Joanie, grab a crash cart just in case.

And we need some ice. - Sorry, Mags, there's no way

I'm crossing the nurses pickup line, official or otherwise.

Oh my God. Well, if you see a nurse, ice on the way out?

Excuse me.

Crazy here today. Sorry to pile on.

I know. It's really not your fault, Brock.

Usually, I just hold my nose, close my mouth and push out air

to slow it down, but I can't now.

Right. People who know vagal maneuvers like that

usually have heart problems.

Mine just races sometimes, though this might be a record.

Hmm. Do you smoke or do you use any recreational drugs?

Well, as a personal trainer, I keep it tight.

Uh, no alcohol, no smoke, no toxins of any kind.

Well, something must have caused you to faint,

vasovagal syncope can sometimes have underlying--

I was on my way home from a therapy session and feeling... intensely.

Yeah, well, physical therapy can be taxing.

No, the other kind. We were really digging deep today,

and it... it brought up a lot of emotions.

Hey, give me a sec?

I need some ice!

Hello?!

Okay, you're gonna sit up, face dive for me,

next level vagal maneuver.

A good three beats.

There you go.

One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi.

Okay, it's good, you can lay down.

There you go. Okay, ice his nose on the way to imaging,

and we need a detailed echo. - No, I've been tested before,

there's nothing wrong with my heart.

We need to make sure. Ten on ten off with the ice

while they image and I'll come and fix your nose once you're back.

- Where are we on the fentanyl? - Coming in.

Claire, you able to retract?

I can only hand you instruments.

- Right. - I am here to support.

You tell me what you need and you'll have it.

Okay, retracting.

Fascia's exposed. Scissors, thank you.

O-two sat's plummeting! Irma, bag!

- He's not breathing? - It's not there!

Why weren't you watching for that?

His sats were fine on the screen.

Fentanyl can depress resp rate.

In trauma, you need to watch the patient, not just the monitor.

Hey, guys, if I don't cut soon,

we're gonna have a whole other problem here.

Mm-hmm.

Okay. Go.

Okay. This compartment's released.

I'll do the other side and then, we'll cover with wet dressings.

I need surgery? Right now?

It's the only way to figure out what's causing the problem.

I mean, it's obviously my cancer,

coupled with bad behavior.

Say "Ah".

We're staying positive, remember?

- Are you two sisters? - Friends.

Um, we met in seventh grade.

Via dork radar. - We were the good kids.

Did our homework. Followed the rules.

Yeah. When I got my diagnosis, Riley dropped everything

and convinced me to say screw the rules, until treatment starts.

Last night was a dine and dash at her ex's restaurant.

Tonight, we're supposed to spray paint Zola's letter

of resignation on her boss's car.

- Yeah. - The jerk shorted her sick pay.

Light felony is less scary than surgery.

Well, laparoscopy is the safest kind of surgery.

The usual rate of complication is between five to ten percent.

Statistically, I shouldn't be dying of cancer at thirty either.

Maybe if you tell us what to expect?

Knowledge is power, right? - Absolutely.

So we put several cameras through small incisions,

find the obstruction and see if we can fix it.

Can you take the mass out too?

Unfortunately, we have to deal with this first

before anyone can take on your pancreas.

Boss, if you can skinny dip in a stranger's freezing cold

pool at 3:00 AM, you can do this.

Here's a gown for you.

She does need to get changed now.

Hey.

I love you, Boss. - I love you too.

I'll see you on the other side. - No, no, Riley, I...

I'm in love with you.

I think I always have been.

We said screw rules, right? I'll see you after?

Yeah.

What's wrong? Are you okay?

Why do you always assume the worst?

Mags, I don't need to be disassembled mentally right now.

Okay, okay, I was just... I was thinking that maybe

we could try something different tonight.

How about we have dinner with friends?

And don't say you're working because I checked the board,

and everyone can bring food,

and you wouldn't have to do anything.

Just enjoy the company of others. What do you say?

Bash, it's been four days since Amira left

and we talked about getting perspective,

but all you do is work and worry.

I know you'd rather do it yourself, but that's why

we're in the "you talk, I act" stage of our relationship.

So, next step? - Scan and run the bowel,

look for obstructions, masses and adhesions.

When I was practicing, I had trouble orienting the camera.

Remember to pull back the camera to widen the field of view.

Colon is distended, but no visible obstructions?

Could be ileus, but why?

Alright, let's get a look at the pancreas.

Now, the grasper.

Someone said you had a daughter.

You've been pulling a lot of late nights, how do you manage?

- Amira's my sister. - Oh.

Uh, she's... with a friend who helps out.

Oh.

My daughters are in university now,

but they'd be the first to tell you that I didn't

exactly ace that balancing act.

Oh.

Does that look like calcification?

And pseudocysts.

Which indicates? - Pancreatitis, not cancer.

That explains the ileus.

This woman has spent the last month of her life preparing to die.

Well, she won't, at least, not from cancer.

But let's get a sample to the lab.

If her pancreas has necrotized, she's not out of the woods.

Lift, lift, lift, lift. Go back, go back.

That's better. Gotcha.

Hello? Hello? Hey!

Anyone? Uh, I think I need help!

Hey, Brock, you're back from imaging.

Uh, I never went. I'm guessing that... HR number is my heart.

Should it be north of 200?

Yeah, no, tell me how you're feeling?

Like maybe they forgot about me.

Okay. lie back down.

Oh, Brock!

Arnold! Adenosine. He's back in SVT.

It's not stocked. I'll go get some.

No, no time. We need to cardiovert.

200 J, synchronized.

Charging. - Clear.

Hey, you okay? - Yeah.

- You with me? - Yeah.

I asked a casual to get him to radiology,

if she had done that he wouldn't have been alone!

- Can you help? - Or maybe someone reminded

that nurse that she's not a porter and moving patients is not part of her contract.

Which means the porters available are busy and in short supply.

And that's part of the problem!

You know, I would've taken him myself,

but I had to wait for my own heart to stabilize.

So we have to pick up your slack?

When it affects a patient's well-being,

we do what's necessary, Arnold!

Enough! Both of you!

Sérieusement!

Oh no. No, no, no.

No, hey, Solomon, hey, look!

You're in the hospital, it's okay!

We're taking good care of you, no...

Slow down. Alright, look at me.

There is a large surgical incision on your leg, okay?

I know it's disorienting. - What happened?

They found you collapsed on the street with compartment syndrome.

It means your leg was seconds away from losing its blood supply.

- I need to leave. - No, you need to stay.

Okay? At least until the swelling goes down.

Listen, hey, listen, listen.

Man, I promise, alright?

You can tell me whatever happened.

Okay? I'm required to keep it confidential.

I'm not a criminal. I'm a culinary student.

And I can't pay for this. - Okay. Um, you're...

you're from out of the country, right?

Alright, then your tuition covers health-care.

Not if I lose my scholarship and flunk out.

Look, I have sickle cell anemia.

I kept missing classes, I was trying to get it under control,

but the meds... the meds are expensive.

Compartment syndrome can be a complication of sickling.

If you knew you had to manage this,

can I ask why you didn't pick a school closer to home?

No insurance at home either.

I thought I'd take a swing, you know?

But now you've cut me open,

and I'm gonna get a bill I won't be able to pay.

Look, there is a very serious risk of you getting an infection

if you leave here, Solomon.

We don't charge by the hour, okay?

So just... just sit tight.

We can figure this out.

What do you mean I don't have cancer?

Your diagnosis has a very real but small margin of error.

Symptoms very closely mimic autoimmune pancreatitis.

- But I've been so sick. - Pancreatitis can cause

extreme pain and make you very ill, but we've got you on fluids and antibiotics.

But this means she's gonna live?

This is great news!

All the things we did were for no reason?

Boss, it's okay, you got swept up...

What if I was holding onto that for a long time?

Then I don't know what you want me to say.

You can talk to me about it.

Or you can go. - That's not fair.

I've been here supporting you, and now,

I have to justify how I care about you?

No, you've been here because it worked out for you,

your marriage ended, and you were freaked out about your own future.

Look, our concern right now

is whether your pancreas is necrotizing.

Which means if parts of it are dying.

Now we've sent samples over to our lab,

and we'll be repeating a CT in the morning.

Zola needs to rest right now.

So, Riley, maybe you should come back later.

No. She should go.

What now?

Just uh, try to get as much rest as you can.

Okay. Here you go.

Uh... can we skip whatever that is?

I tend to react to medication.

Yeah. It's just a mild analgesic.

I mean, we can, but unless you're allergic,

you're gonna want the freezing. - Um, alright.

Yeah? Okay. Here you go.

One, two, three.

Your heart imaging came back normal

which doesn't explain the arrhythmia.

I told you it would be...

Okay, this is gonna be uncomfortable.

I'll do it quickly.

Alright. Ready? - Yep.

One, two, three...

Here you go. Okay. Doing great, doing great.

You're doing great.

Okay. So this will keep the bone aligned

and we can take it out in about a week.

It is burning? Or is it... uncomfortable?

- Well... - Let me see.

Okay, you have hives now.

Are you sure you're not allergic?

They'll go away as quickly as they can.

I normally try to avoid telling people this but, I'm an HSP.

Highly sensitive person.

I fainted because I was spent emotionally from therapy.

The stress from the crash made my heart race

and I thought I'd been forgotten so I panicked.

My body plays by its own rules.

And when I explain this to doctors, they look at me...

well, like you are now.

No... I mean, there is literature on people

who feel feelings more deeply,

but there's no data connecting it to SVT.

No, my thing's like, the opposite of science.

I mean, there's no medical cause for what happened to me today

other than being a more fragile person.

Mm.

You're not convinced.

Even though your test shows nothing.

No, I still would like to sign you for a test called electrophysiology,

it'd be a bit more invasive,

but at least we can rule out anything serious.

Well, how invasive? Because I'm telling you,

there's nothing medically wrong with me.

But Brock, your heart was beating so fast

that we had to shock you.

We need to make sure.

Then if it is something serious?

Well, then we try to fix it.

And you don't have to feel fragile anymore.

Ah, hopefully not much longer.

Claire! The guy in A, Mr. Morris...

What is it, Nancy? I've got four places I need to be.

The fasciotomy patient needs to get admitted

and his infusion is almost done. - Yes so check the chart orders.

They're not there. And I know I'm not supposed

to chase down doctors right now. - I'll handle it.

Theo, why didn't you admit Solomon Morris?

Um, he is a sickler with no insurance.

So if I waive my fee on the fasciotomy

and we keep him in emerg, he won't get billed for a room.

Great, so you get to magnanimously waive your fee,

while my team does all the monitoring and the treatments?

I'm trying to help someone in a desperate situation, Claire.

And we're trying to make sure every other patient's looked after.

Are you? Or are you more concerned about your work stoppage?

Look, I know it's been a little bumpy,

but do you really not see the value of what Dr Devi's trying to do here?

Do you not see how hypocritical that is?

All the labor in her plan fell on us

and you are doing the same thing right now with Solomon.

Fine. Then I will monitor him myself.

You're gonna check his fluids every 20 minutes?

Change the bedpan? And what happens if a trauma comes in and you can't?

Who do you think wears that?

Write your instructions on his chart, and leave it with me.

No, it's a question of resources.

We're looking into it today.

I'm waiting to hear back on that.

Okay, bye.

That was extremely unprofessional of me

to lose my cool like that in front of my patient.

- Agreed. - He's stable.

Um, I think. He says the cause of his heart event

is that he's a highly sensitive person,

but I still want him to go for electrophysiology.

I have a cousin who's an HSP.

He's an artist.

Some people feel more deeply,

but their bodies pay for it in either ways.

So you think it's a real thing.

They say Einstein was one and he was frequently ill.

But I mean, definitely get your guy checked out.

And it wasn't just about Brock with Arnold.

My own heart rate spiked and I needed to get it down.

Are you feeling better?

Yeah, and I didn't mean to say that to pile on

and I wasn't disregarding your instructions, I've got your back.

I could swing a physician's assistant for the day.

No, thanks, but I'm sure you've got other places that need support. But thank you.

Appreciate it.

Actually, I read this article,

about 500 doctors in Quebec that rejected raises

in a bid to divert money toward nurses.

I'm pretty sure that staff here would feel the same way.

Let me see what else I can dig up before we resort to crowdsourcing.

- Okay. - Okay.

Hello? Guys?

June? I was just finishing my prayers.

Uh... I'm early.

Mags said 6:30, uh, I can run some errands.

No, no, don't be ridiculous. She's still on shift.

Uh, fridge? Alright. Should I take that?

Uh, you know, Singh let me jump in on a lab today.

He did not let me operate Hal.

Uh, that could take years, so don't worry about it.

Well, he did ask me about Amira.

Just uh, how we balance and all that.

He started talking about his daughters.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

These are good.

You make yourself at home.

The aromatics add like a whole other layer to this.

It's... it's amazing, just trust me.

Dammit! How are you so fast?

We want to choose toppings.

You know, technically, manaeesh is a breakfast flatbread,

but... - Move, move, move! Ah!

Okay. I'll just plate it then.

So, seriously no other takers of what will easily be

the best gin martini they've ever had?

Why don't I just go help Bash.

How's that going? Your health stuff?

It's messy.

I mean, you can't really stop saving someone's life

because your heart rate spikes.

You know, people telegraph support, but the truth is

I'm just a burden, and accepting those limitations

and that everybody else knows about them... yep.

You know...

most people just say "fine".

Boom! You're done.

It's exactly because of that attitude that there are

no systems in place for someone like me.

Uh, I was kidding.

But if you wish to risk arrhythmia,

I'd be happy to give you the best two out of three.

Oh, you're on.

Okay, so everybody tells a story from the age that they roll.

And then we go eat. - Pass.

- I love these games. - You love these games.

Can you please explain to them why this is not a good idea?

The sooner we play, the sooner we eat.

- You serious right now? - Roll the dice!

Roll the dice! Roll the dice!

Roll the dice! - Alright, just stop.

Oh, there we go! That's the spirit!

Woo! - Nine.

So, when I was nine, there were these woods outside my school,

and I would go out back, burying myself in leaves and sticks,

and just wait stealth mode for someone to come and find me,

but no one ever came so I was like playing hide and go seek by myself.

- Oh. - June, that's like the saddest

story I've ever heard in my life.

No, it was funny...

It was hide and seek...

Okay, whatever, you guys weren't there.

Well, when I was nine, I pooped in a kitty litter box and blamed it on the dog.

It's disgusting.

Still glad you invited me?

Why are you here so late?

Contractual hours only, remember?

We're off the clock. Look, taking breaks on schedule

and not doing unpaid work is one thing.

I know today was rough.

I don't get my tired ass out of bed every morning for the garbage pay.

I do it for the patients.

Are people getting hurt because of us?

Guys, you can't crack on me.

How can you not care about what we're saying, Claire?

I was accused of that today by a doctor.

I didn't expect from you.

You asked me to fight and I fought.

We have leverage now, if we back down we lose it.

Devi was okay with you not apologizing?

Not really, but uh... feel like my job is pretty safe.

- Not worried? - Uh no, standing on principle

is gonna be a risk, but uh, weirdly no.

Why, should I be?

I mean... sounds like your safety net is airtight.

- I'm a privileged ass. - You said it, not me.

You know, we'd only really need a third of ED

giving a small percentage of the wages.

Mags, that's not gonna be an easy sell.

- No, I know, but... - Who's selling what?

No, I'm just running an informal poll to see

who'd be willing to subsidize another full-time nurse

or at least cover the overtime. - I'm all for it.

And not just 'cause I'm a privileged ass.

Well then, that's a slippery slope, isn't it?

Asking individuals to solve an institutional problem?

Yeah, no, maybe, but since I'm like directly contributing

to the burden of the nurses, I don't have the luxury

of waiting for the institution. - You know, I wanna know

what Devi thinks about all this. - Since when?

Since when Novak asked me to make her an ally for the sake of Trauma OR?

- Why would he do that? - Because he's Novak

and he's a mid-level misogynist.

- Low-level... misogynist. - Mid-level.

Anyways, he cares about the work that we're doing down there.

Is that really necessary? I mean, our work should speak for itself.

Easy for you to say. You've done what, two procedures

with Singh and he's out here telling you his life story.

Singh, really? What did he say?

- He mentioned his daughters. - He had daughters?

- It's not a big deal. - Seriously?

I was his resident for three years.

I bet you I can go in there do a whipple blindfolded

and he'd end up taking you for dinner.

Okay, okay, but that's probably more like

a father-to-father thing.

Bash has Amira. - June has Shay.

And has June talked to Singh about Shay?

No, no, that is not the point.

The point is that men just feel more comfortable

talking to other men and that's just a subtle way

that we get edged out.

You're doing it right now.

Okay, speaking of father,

how have you been since Amira's been gone?

Either than torturing himself endlessly?

Um, she said she's not ready to be around me yet.

And uh, part of me thinks I should just give in.

Oh then, she'll know she can hold you hostage and get whatever she wants.

- Even though she has a point? - Anyone wants more wine?

You know, you could use this opportunity to reset things.

And when she is ready to talk,

you'd have somewhere to go with her.

Bash, I was... I was just trying to help.

I know how... how hard it's been.

You have no idea what it's been like for us.

Okay?

I could fix this with some super glue.

I shoudn't have lost my temper.

You're allowed to be upset when something you care about breaks.

You seem better.

With the distance from the crash,

and I know it's been a journey since your marriage, uh...

Broke.

Eh, I mean it's hard to have perspective

when you're in it, but the girls and I are finding a rhythm.

It's nice to feel like I can see the other side.

Any idea what's there?

You know, when I met you, I was like...

I was just a passenger in my own life.

And then you...

You had no safety net, and just so unafraid of doing what you believed in.

I just... I just have more practice, Theo.

Oh, don't deflect man.

Or do, if you have to.

It's just...

My life is better with you in it.

And she's gonna come back.

You'll see.

So, are things okay with Bash?

Is that another one of those questions where I'm just supposed to say "fine"?

And I'm very well aware that you think I should mind

my own business with him and Amira.

You know, it's weird. My baking skills, Michelin-star level.

My relationship skills have not been getting great reviews.

So are you gonna let me scrub in on those,

or do I have to cozy up and make you an ally first?

That depends, is that a dig about the whole Devi thing?

Because you know you're the one who keeps telling me to make connections.

It just seems like such a cynical reaction

to what you said before about Singh.

I'm being strategic, Mags.

Look, she already told me she's rethinking Trauma OR.

And don't act like you're not doing the same thing.

- No, I'm-- - Yeah, no.

You're supporting her for your own benefit.

I believe in her. I'm trying to build something real.

Oh, I'm sorry that I can't just strip naked and bare my soul, Mags, alright?

I'm built different. - Fine.

But you're not that little girl

burying herself in leaves anymore either.

People are looking for you, June.

You need to stop with that, alright?

Just forget that I said that. Ah!

Here.

Thanks, guys. - Thanks, Mags.

- Thanks for coming. - See you tomorrow.

I know we're going to talk about it, so let's go.

Please, Mags, drag it out of me.

Okay. If you don't want to, that's fine.

Good.

How am I supposed to know what you've been through

if you keep walling off parts of yourself?

You know, people keep saying that, you, Rania, Amira,

why can't people just let me be who I am?

I don't know, I can't speak for those two,

but I know that if I'm in a relationship,

I need to be let in. I need intimacy.

We have that. I thought we did.

Clearly, if I'm bringing it up.

And what do you mean, "you can't speak for them"?

All you do is speak for other people.

What's it like, Mags, always knowing exactly

what people are afraid of? - It's terrible!

I think you're so afraid that there isn't a place for you

that you can't help prove how essential you are.

I hate... needing something from you

that you don't wanna give me.

And you've barely touched me since my heart...

Okay, so we're talking about sex, I'm not talking--

No, intimacy! I'm talking about real intimacy!

But for you doesn't that just mean like fixing me?

Like I'm some kind of medical mystery that you get off on solving?

Bashir, are you suggesting that I'm attracted to your pain?

Is that what you're saying? - Tell me I'm wrong.

I think you would know who you are without your pain.

I think you... you cling to it.

And you keep it shrouded in mystery because

you know it draws me in and because you want me

to come digging for it.

How long have you been waiting to say that?

You tell me I'm wrong.

Clear a path, please!

Solomon!

What are you doing out here?

I'm gonna get some help. - No, no, no!

No one else from the hospital!

Can you give him some space?

You should still be in your bed.

At like 4:00 AM, some new doctor came in,

and told the nurse they had to admit me.

Which means I'd be getting billed.

When they weren't looking, I left and I figured

I'd recover at home, but when the painkillers wore off...

You had to come back.

Only now, triage said I had to pay upfront unless I'm critical.

I was gonna start over at another ER,

but when I tried to stand up again...

Look, you're anemic from the sickling, alright?

You need blood transfusions, pain meds...

I know! I know!

What am I supposed to do?

Riley. You're not supposed to be here.

I lied to a nurse and said I was her sister.

She's so much worse.

They're saying her pancreas is necrotic and she's septic.

And choices will have to be made?

Is there any way we can contact her immediate family?

Her mom's gone, her dad's in assisted living

and he's not in a position to make decisions.

Who does that fall on? - Her doctors.

We do the best we can to make informed decisions on her behalf.

She would do everything she could to fight this.

I knew how she felt.

I maybe even liked knowing it.

I do love her, just... not in the way she wants me to.

I'm sorry, but you're not family.

Except I am!

And if anyone is speaking for her, it should be me.

Dr Olsen. I was gonna come find you.

If we scale back 20 percent of what's allocated to Trauma OR,

we can fund raises for the nurses to compensate...

You have a problem with Trauma OR?

I think it has certain advantages, but I also think

it's run by a man who isn't a team player.

So you're punishing doctors now?

- What?! - I've heard from multiple

sources that you're gonna be asking them

to personally subsidize nurses?

I'm sorry, you heard that where?

Do you have any idea how something that provocative

makes the hospital look? Makes me look?

As CMO? Like we can't handle a budget?

Like we don't care about retention?

Just... hold on, um, doctors foregoing pay

was an idea brought to me by a resident.

I shut it down. - Obviously not hard enough.

When I said "don't be everyone's friend" that didn't mean

taking a flamethrower to people that are trying to help you.

I turned my life upside down to come here.

The only reason I did that is because I care about people.

That doesn't mean you know how to lead them.

Fix this. Today.

Page me when she's ready.

Let me know how long for the interventional radiologist,

and I'll have Dr Hamed set up the suite.

I was just going to book an OR

to remove the dead tissue from her pancreas.

You want to send her back to surgery?

No, just start with the percutaneous drainage

and we'll see how she reacts to that first.

And risk more bacteria going into her bloodstream?

She has a fully inflamed pancreas, it's the safest option.

No, it's the less effective option.

Okay. Look, I'm hearing you,

but this is up to us, which really means it's up to me.

Look, her friend is here and she's adamant that Zola

would not want to play it safe. - And what is this, a friend

with power of attorney, Bash?

At least Singh should hear both sides.

Oh. Would you like to go over my head?

Np, if this is you feeling Singh and I are pushing you out,

I would never do that to you. As your friend.

Look, just set her up for drainage.

- June. - What?!

You hand may be infected.

I could find.

There should be enough there to manage your anemia

and sickle cell pain for two months.

Thank you. And uh, what about my leg?

Well, we'll check to make sure it's not infected.

These transfusions should help.

But if you notice any swelling, you can just call me.

But look, Solomon, this is all just a stop gap, alright?

You're eventually gonna have to make a plan.

Maybe even head home to reset.

Yeah, no. I made a choice to go after something

and I don't plan to give up.

Are we burnt?

I might be.

But you, you have nothing to worry about.

Suction carefully. Don't compromise the vital tissues.

BP's dropping, she's coding. Starting compressions.

Charge to 150 and call for more bodies!

Clear!

Resuming compressions!

Charge 200.

Clear!

We've got sinus. She's stabilizing.

I need more light.

What happened? What is this?

- Get over here, June. - This is Zola?

Debridement of necrotic tissue,

but the septic shock proved more than her body could handle.

Are you helping or hovering, June?

- Going in with the ligature. - While she's doing that,

tell me why this happened, Dr Hamed?

It's a statistical risk of the surgical procedure.

Which is why I told Dr Hamed to play it safe

with percutaneous drainage and not to jump into surgery.

He talked the family through both options, they chose surgery.

Friend. Not family. As in no legal status.

- It's more complicated. - Scrub out, Dr Hamed.

We're team, not a one-man band,

I will not have surgeons who don't tell me the whole story.

- Sir... - You heard me. Go.

Dr Curtis, take over.

Brock.

They're telling me that you're having second thoughts, what's going on?

I don't wanna do this.

I should've said so yesterday when you scheduled it.

I'm sorry. - It's okay.

I'm sorry, can you give us a minute please? Thank you.

That poor woman got me

on that table and was about to sedate me

and thread a wire from my thigh to my heart, and Mags, I couldn't...

Brock, you're not gonna feel anything.

I'll react to the sedation. And definitely the wire,

but that's not it.

Something inside me, it feels wrong.

And when it feels wrong, I've learned to trust that.

I just... I thought that you wanted to know for sure.

No, you wanted to know.

I already do.

And I promise to always wear my heart-rate watch from now on,

but I spent all night thinking about how hard I've worked to accept

that this is how things are for me.

And how I don't need anyone else to believe me or fix me.

I like how I am. - Why?

Why do I like myself?

I didn't mean... I didn't mean... I'm sorry.

Okay, sure, I feel stress and pain more palpably,

but also, I feel the good stuff more too.

And I have to believe it's a price worth paying.

Even if you don't.

Dr Curtis. You okay?

Just buried in leaves.

I let this fester too long, and now, I'm paying the price.

But that's not all?

I had to shut down my resident today and he's also my friend.

I can either channel my inner bitch

or let my feelings govern how I do my job.

And risk losing everything you've worked for.

If we revert to status quo,

will you take your demands off the table?

- Pressure from on high? - You predicted this, Claire.

That my big ideas would hurt your team.

Well, I get no satisfaction from being right.

Not when the hospital's solution is budget over patients.

Mm-hmm.

I will discharge Solomon today.

- You should admit him. - Claire, look, you don't have

to be a part of this, but I'm not gonna make

this guy's situation any harder than it already is.

Okay, Theo, just look.

You took his address out of our system?

Yeah, when he came back this morning.

It's the only way we can admit,

treat and ensure he never sees a bill.

I didn't know we could do that.

We can't.

Word is you are an attending again?

Is that official? - Yeah.

Hey! It's Dr Hamed.

Dr Curtis said you're not my doctor anymore.

Yeah, I was just, uh...

Spray paint's off the table, so...

Instead of firing her boss, she's firing her oncologist.

Dr Hamed. - Mm-hmm?

Thank you. For fighting for us.

Does this mean you two are okay?

We agreed to move messily into the future.

Whatever that means.

I'm going to tell Amira to stay as long as she wants.

I'm just packing some things she'll need.

Why don't you let me help you?

difuze