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1
00:00:01,875 --> 00:00:03,211
Ta-da!
2
00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:04,794
- Oh.
- Tasty treats!
3
00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:06,838
Are these your famous
three-ingredient scones?
4
00:00:06,839 --> 00:00:07,838
Yes, they are.
5
00:00:07,839 --> 00:00:09,006
Ooh, you can call me
6
00:00:09,007 --> 00:00:10,341
George Thorogood
& the Destroyers
7
00:00:10,342 --> 00:00:11,675
'cause I'm bad to the scone.
8
00:00:11,676 --> 00:00:13,678
Get in there.
9
00:00:13,679 --> 00:00:15,303
Yeah, I learned how
to make these in prison.
10
00:00:15,304 --> 00:00:17,515
Um, where'd you get butter?
11
00:00:17,516 --> 00:00:21,687
You find it.
12
00:00:24,356 --> 00:00:25,356
Little help here?
13
00:00:25,357 --> 00:00:26,524
Oh, Wendy.
14
00:00:26,525 --> 00:00:27,817
Oh, Wendy! Let me give you a--
15
00:00:27,818 --> 00:00:29,192
- Ooh, yeah.
- Oh.
16
00:00:29,193 --> 00:00:31,239
- Thank you, Howard.
- I was also gonna--
17
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:32,988
Sorry I'm late.
18
00:00:32,989 --> 00:00:34,743
Got myself into
a bit of a situation.
19
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,200
Mm-hm?
20
00:00:36,201 --> 00:00:38,413
You know, my friend,
Dottie, in circulation,
21
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:41,372
she's trying to save
some books from extinction--
22
00:00:41,373 --> 00:00:42,707
I'm sorry, "extinction?"
Is that the word?
23
00:00:42,708 --> 00:00:44,708
No. It's, uh-- Uncircu-fying?
24
00:00:44,709 --> 00:00:46,168
Deading. Deading a book.
25
00:00:46,169 --> 00:00:48,045
Either way, I offered to help.
26
00:00:48,046 --> 00:00:51,259
So, she sent me 10 of each book,
and anything we can do to help,
27
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:52,841
she would really
greatly appreciate.
28
00:00:52,842 --> 00:00:55,095
So, what have we got here?
29
00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:57,513
How to Beat Any
Nintendo 64 Game.
30
00:00:57,514 --> 00:00:59,934
That's handy.
31
00:01:00,059 --> 00:01:03,060
Uh, and, Mansplaining--
32
00:01:03,061 --> 00:01:04,394
Well, that's, um...
33
00:01:04,395 --> 00:01:07,899
That's there.
And An Uncivil War,
34
00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:11,279
The Five Moments the South
Could Have Turned the Tide.
35
00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,570
Hopefully that's not
the Civil War we think it is.
36
00:01:13,571 --> 00:01:16,072
No. It, uh, it definitely is.
37
00:01:16,073 --> 00:01:18,409
I don't know, guys, maybe these
books should be Darwin-ized.
38
00:01:18,410 --> 00:01:21,370
Look, we shouldn't be
forced to circulate any book.
39
00:01:21,371 --> 00:01:23,247
As Granny Delora once said,
40
00:01:23,248 --> 00:01:25,081
"When something's
old and nearly dead,
41
00:01:25,082 --> 00:01:27,295
bury it before
the stench kills us all."
42
00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:31,215
Why does Dottie want us
to save these books?
43
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:35,051
She didn't say and I didn't ask.
Look, I need a solid.
44
00:01:35,052 --> 00:01:38,221
Dottie only has eight fingers
and it's my fault.
45
00:01:38,222 --> 00:01:39,807
You know what?
I'll help. I'm sorry, what?
46
00:01:39,932 --> 00:01:42,266
Oh, Howard! Thank you.
Thank you so much. My hero!
47
00:01:42,267 --> 00:01:43,645
Yeah, I mean, it's my pleasure.
48
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:44,979
You know, at Midtown
we always created demand
49
00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:46,771
by doing a book push.
50
00:01:46,772 --> 00:01:48,063
Oh, I love this!
51
00:01:48,064 --> 00:01:50,441
Use anyone
and anything you need.
52
00:01:50,442 --> 00:01:52,986
Seriously? Well, I'd kill
for a subcommittee.
53
00:01:53,111 --> 00:01:55,113
- Done. Jaq, Bryce.
- A subcommittee?
54
00:01:55,114 --> 00:01:56,114
Help Howard out.
55
00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:57,615
For Dottie!
56
00:01:57,616 --> 00:01:58,992
All
For Dottie.
57
00:01:59,117 --> 00:02:01,076
And for her
three-legged dog, Ringo.
58
00:02:01,077 --> 00:02:04,456
All (half-heartedly): And for
her three-legged dog, Ringo.
59
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:13,133
Subcommittee! Our post-meeting
meeting begins, wait for it...
60
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:17,259
Now! Roll call. Jaq?
61
00:02:17,260 --> 00:02:18,802
There are three of us.
We're here.
62
00:02:18,803 --> 00:02:20,304
Present. Bryce?
63
00:02:20,305 --> 00:02:22,806
Delightfully present.
64
00:02:22,807 --> 00:02:26,020
Alright, very good.
We have a quorum.
65
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:29,646
So, at Midtown we used
a friendly competition to
66
00:02:29,647 --> 00:02:32,150
help push books that
we wanted off our shelves.
67
00:02:32,151 --> 00:02:33,651
One flaw.
Competition is a fundamental
68
00:02:33,652 --> 00:02:36,444
element of capitalism
and I'm a socialist.
69
00:02:36,445 --> 00:02:37,822
Remember, this isn't for me.
70
00:02:37,823 --> 00:02:40,324
- This is for Wendy.
- Is it though?
71
00:02:40,325 --> 00:02:42,035
I sort of feel like Dottie's
the only one winning here.
72
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:43,786
Lucky Dottie
and her eight fingers.
73
00:02:43,787 --> 00:02:45,206
I'm just trying to help.
74
00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:47,789
Unhoused Wendy:
I don't care! I don't care!
75
00:02:47,790 --> 00:02:50,044
You're being so unreasonable!
76
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,961
I'm leaving!
I don't feel safe here!
77
00:02:52,962 --> 00:02:54,715
What?!
78
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,799
You're the one with a purse
full of sharpened toothbrushes!
79
00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:00,177
And I will not
hesitate to use one.
80
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,683
Okay, I went too far.
81
00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,022
Wendy!
82
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,903
Have those two ever
argued like that before?
83
00:03:16,028 --> 00:03:16,904
Never.
84
00:03:17,029 --> 00:03:18,528
I'm going to check on her.
85
00:03:18,529 --> 00:03:19,989
Oh, no, no. Just give her
a minute to cool down.
86
00:03:19,990 --> 00:03:20,990
You know what would
make her feel better?
87
00:03:20,991 --> 00:03:22,365
Hm?
88
00:03:22,366 --> 00:03:24,034
Is if the two of you
push books with me.
89
00:03:24,035 --> 00:03:25,828
Okay. Fine, but I'm not
saying "book push." Ew.
90
00:03:25,829 --> 00:03:26,873
Ah, you just did.
91
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,174
It couldn't be simpler.
92
00:03:38,175 --> 00:03:41,551
See, there's three books
and three of us.
93
00:03:41,552 --> 00:03:44,013
Why don't we each take a book
and try to move it?
94
00:03:44,014 --> 00:03:46,890
And whoever gets rid of their
book first, wins something.
95
00:03:46,891 --> 00:03:48,350
Like what?
96
00:03:48,351 --> 00:03:50,061
Well, I'm meeting
Dane for lunch today.
97
00:03:50,062 --> 00:03:53,188
Maybe I could get him to give us
a couple of museum tickets.
98
00:03:53,189 --> 00:03:54,899
Oh, I thought it was going
to be something we wanted to do.
99
00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:56,444
you know what? I'm not
having this argument again.
100
00:03:56,569 --> 00:04:00,404
The Acropolis On-top-olis
exhibit was pure fire.
101
00:04:00,405 --> 00:04:01,782
Oh, it was fire, Howard?
It was pure fire?
102
00:04:01,907 --> 00:04:03,198
Okay, look,
I know where this is going--
103
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,200
No. No, no, no, no.
As a fellow youth,
104
00:04:04,201 --> 00:04:05,700
I totes agree, fam.
105
00:04:05,701 --> 00:04:07,913
Museums aren't cringe,
they're lit, bitch.
106
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:10,914
Are you quite finished?
107
00:04:10,915 --> 00:04:12,248
Yes, bitch. Slay.
108
00:04:12,249 --> 00:04:13,708
Slay.
109
00:04:13,709 --> 00:04:16,255
How about extra paid days off?
110
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,926
She's stubborn and mean.
111
00:04:21,927 --> 00:04:24,219
Like a goat that
missed breakfast.
112
00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,306
Why was she so upset?
113
00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:26,763
Exactly! What's her problem?
114
00:04:26,764 --> 00:04:29,810
No, no, no. I'm asking you--
115
00:04:29,935 --> 00:04:31,602
Wendy, I need to use
the employee washroom.
116
00:04:31,603 --> 00:04:33,938
Someone's in the big, nice one
with all the handle bars.
117
00:04:33,939 --> 00:04:35,231
The accessible one?
118
00:04:35,232 --> 00:04:36,773
Just use the one
you're supposed to.
119
00:04:36,774 --> 00:04:38,609
I need privacy when
I am doing private things.
120
00:04:38,610 --> 00:04:40,277
And the stalls
aren't private enough?
121
00:04:40,278 --> 00:04:41,945
The gap by my feet
is unnerving.
122
00:04:41,946 --> 00:04:43,780
Go over to Coffee & Such, then.
123
00:04:43,781 --> 00:04:45,493
The place with the one-ply?
124
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:46,493
You know, why don't you just
hand me sandpaper, Sheila?
125
00:04:46,618 --> 00:04:47,909
No, before it's too late,
126
00:04:47,910 --> 00:04:49,496
I'll have an accident
in the stacks.
127
00:04:49,621 --> 00:04:51,121
Yes, I'll do it.
128
00:04:51,122 --> 00:04:54,457
It's not an accident
if it's a threat.
129
00:04:54,458 --> 00:04:56,626
Okay, go!
130
00:04:56,627 --> 00:04:59,173
Thank you!
131
00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:00,842
He is far too comfortable.
132
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,967
The individual with
the most books signed out
133
00:05:03,968 --> 00:05:07,515
by 5:00pm today wins
all three personal days.
134
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,931
Pick a book, Jaq.
135
00:05:08,932 --> 00:05:10,351
Ladies first after all.
136
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:12,353
Nope. Screw you. Bryce, you go.
137
00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:14,354
Finally,
a white man gets some love.
138
00:05:14,479 --> 00:05:15,479
Okay, you know what?
You ruined it.
139
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,815
Alright. Uncivil War. What?!
140
00:05:17,816 --> 00:05:19,359
Okay, and I got Mansplaining--
141
00:05:19,484 --> 00:05:21,195
Nintendo 64.
142
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,945
- I'll trade you?
- Please!
143
00:05:22,946 --> 00:05:25,155
I wanted Mansplaining, anyway.
It's an important book.
144
00:05:25,156 --> 00:05:26,323
And I'll tell you why,
young lady--
145
00:05:26,324 --> 00:05:27,950
Absolutely not.
No. Listen to me.
146
00:05:27,951 --> 00:05:29,827
No tradesies and no redraws,
this is what it is.
147
00:05:29,828 --> 00:05:34,164
Incipiant ludi.
148
00:05:34,165 --> 00:05:35,375
Let the games begin.
149
00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:39,503
Excuse me.
150
00:05:39,504 --> 00:05:41,839
Hi.
It's Wendy, the branch manager.
151
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:43,008
Is everything okay?
152
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:48,722
Wendy? If that you in there?
153
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,518
This silent treatment
is real mature.
154
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,022
And it is not fair
that you're acting this way
155
00:05:58,023 --> 00:06:00,068
when you're the one who
should be apologizing!
156
00:06:01,693 --> 00:06:05,197
Is the name of a great
podcast I just started.
157
00:06:06,698 --> 00:06:08,198
Hey, Jaq.
How you doing with your book?
158
00:06:08,199 --> 00:06:10,659
Well, I haven't seen
any complete dill-holes yet,
159
00:06:10,660 --> 00:06:11,659
so I still have 10.
160
00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:13,162
Yeah. Me neither.
161
00:06:13,163 --> 00:06:14,748
I probably won't have
to try too hard, though.
162
00:06:14,873 --> 00:06:16,499
Okay, let's get you sorted.
163
00:06:18,210 --> 00:06:22,423
You know what? You are going
to love this book, you know?
164
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,758
So important to read our
history so we don't repeat it.
165
00:06:24,883 --> 00:06:29,221
Or write about it again.
Alright, take care. All set.
166
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:35,103
I'm sorry, guys.
That's two down, eight to go.
167
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,893
- Easy peasy.
- Two down?! What the fu--
168
00:06:36,894 --> 00:06:38,729
Ew, gross. I'm not losing
to a guy who says "peasy."
169
00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:40,231
- Seriously.
- Yeah.
170
00:06:40,232 --> 00:06:41,898
Hi, you look like you
like explaining things.
171
00:06:41,899 --> 00:06:43,566
- This is an excellent book.
- Hey, check this book.
172
00:06:43,567 --> 00:06:44,859
- You are gonna love this.
- It's called Mansplaining.
173
00:06:44,860 --> 00:06:45,904
You look like a nerd.
Are you a nerd?
174
00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:02,544
The only way to
topple the patriarchy
175
00:07:02,545 --> 00:07:04,380
is by understanding it,
176
00:07:04,381 --> 00:07:06,047
and the only way
we can understand it is
177
00:07:06,048 --> 00:07:08,383
by reading this book. Bam!
178
00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:09,926
Are you reverse-mansplaining me?
179
00:07:09,927 --> 00:07:11,219
I see what you did there,
180
00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:12,974
but reverse oppression's
not a thing.
181
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:16,144
Is this about how to stop
mansplaining or how to start?
182
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,436
Which is better?
183
00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:20,147
Yeah, I'm gonna stick
with The Y Chromosome.
184
00:07:20,272 --> 00:07:21,938
Oh, I just read that,
it's amazing.
185
00:07:21,939 --> 00:07:23,484
It's actually my staff
pick of the month.
186
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:25,275
And Mansplaining is next month?
187
00:07:25,276 --> 00:07:28,656
No. Oh, no. It's not my pick.
188
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:31,448
Like, it's kinda--
I'm just trying to, um--
189
00:07:31,449 --> 00:07:32,993
If you read it,
it's a page turner.
190
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,912
Um, hi.
191
00:07:36,913 --> 00:07:38,414
Welcome to Jameson.
192
00:07:38,415 --> 00:07:40,457
We are showcasing
some titles around here.
193
00:07:40,458 --> 00:07:43,294
Maybe this one catches your eye.
It's called Mansplaining.
194
00:07:43,295 --> 00:07:44,462
- I guess--
- Ah!
195
00:07:44,463 --> 00:07:45,962
I've been looking for this!
196
00:07:45,963 --> 00:07:47,631
Okay.
197
00:07:47,632 --> 00:07:49,967
You have no idea how
important this book is.
198
00:07:49,968 --> 00:07:53,261
Okay, well, have a good day.
199
00:07:53,262 --> 00:07:55,015
Going on break
so I can throw up.
200
00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:57,685
I saw that. Very impressive.
201
00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,977
I love how you're
connecting with our community.
202
00:07:59,978 --> 00:08:02,938
It's all Howard's fault.
He's the worst.
203
00:08:02,939 --> 00:08:05,359
Or the best.
204
00:08:05,484 --> 00:08:07,695
Right this way
to periodicals, good sir!
205
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:11,364
Oh, say.
Are you into civil wars?
206
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,823
No, what I said.
207
00:08:13,824 --> 00:08:16,784
Good news!
208
00:08:16,785 --> 00:08:18,453
I got another book for you.
209
00:08:18,454 --> 00:08:19,829
I really want these five books.
210
00:08:19,830 --> 00:08:21,999
- Oh, take another one.
- You know I can't.
211
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,710
My parents have
a very strict rule about
212
00:08:23,835 --> 00:08:25,213
how many books I can
take out at a time.
213
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,505
What's that over there?
214
00:08:27,672 --> 00:08:29,506
Hey, you just scanned that book.
215
00:08:29,507 --> 00:08:30,506
No I didn't.
216
00:08:30,507 --> 00:08:32,300
Yes, you did. Take it off.
217
00:08:32,301 --> 00:08:34,678
If my parents check my account,
they're going to ground me.
218
00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:36,056
They won't check.
219
00:08:36,181 --> 00:08:37,972
They check every time!
Take it off!
220
00:08:37,973 --> 00:08:39,683
I'll tell you what.
How about we don't scan
221
00:08:39,684 --> 00:08:41,394
one of the other books so it
looks like you've only got
222
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,852
five in the system here?
223
00:08:42,853 --> 00:08:45,313
And then what?
I get hooked on taking out six,
224
00:08:45,314 --> 00:08:46,982
then seven, then nine?
225
00:08:46,983 --> 00:08:48,192
Until Dad checks my book-bag
226
00:08:48,193 --> 00:08:50,528
and I get busted
with 10 hardcovers?
227
00:08:50,529 --> 00:08:51,530
You know, it sounds like your--
228
00:08:53,365 --> 00:08:56,410
Keep your gateway book.
229
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,869
Okay.
230
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:00,413
Thank you.
231
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,749
Unscanned. There you go.
232
00:09:04,209 --> 00:09:05,709
Oops.
233
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,425
Howard, question for you.
234
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,217
Yeah, anything.
What do you need?
235
00:09:13,218 --> 00:09:15,762
I just saw Jaq initiate
a conversation with a patron.
236
00:09:15,887 --> 00:09:17,054
What's going on?
237
00:09:17,055 --> 00:09:18,680
We're having a little contest,
238
00:09:18,681 --> 00:09:21,225
and the winner gets paid
days off from the others.
239
00:09:21,226 --> 00:09:22,226
Can you do that?
240
00:09:22,227 --> 00:09:23,852
Yeah, Wendy's cool with it.
241
00:09:23,853 --> 00:09:26,107
You know, she put me in
charge of the subcommittee.
242
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,276
Looks like someone's
finally fitting in.
243
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,609
Hey, do you have lunch plans?
244
00:09:29,734 --> 00:09:31,901
Do you want to
get something to eat?
245
00:09:31,902 --> 00:09:34,362
Yes! I mean, why not?
I mean, I like lunch.
246
00:09:34,363 --> 00:09:36,073
Well, great. Coffee & Such?
We can walk over together.
247
00:09:36,074 --> 00:09:38,074
Perfect.
248
00:09:38,075 --> 00:09:39,242
You're definitely not peeing.
249
00:09:39,243 --> 00:09:40,370
What gives?
250
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:45,292
Wendy, we have to
talk eventually,
251
00:09:45,417 --> 00:09:47,210
and I'd rather
do it face to face.
252
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,756
You know I was just
looking out for you, right?
253
00:09:52,757 --> 00:09:54,719
I actually care
about your wellbeing.
254
00:09:56,177 --> 00:09:57,137
Wendy?
255
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,141
Alright, I'm getting the fob.
256
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,642
Oh, did you hear?
257
00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:04,101
Two books left.
258
00:10:04,102 --> 00:10:06,770
Seriously?! I still have six!
259
00:10:06,771 --> 00:10:07,938
Seven.
260
00:10:07,939 --> 00:10:09,984
No, that's it.
261
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:10,984
What are you doing?
262
00:10:11,109 --> 00:10:12,320
Nothing.
263
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,901
She's pushing
her book on our social!
264
00:10:13,902 --> 00:10:15,069
That's the library's account,
Jaq!
265
00:10:15,070 --> 00:10:16,657
You gotta push all the books.
266
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:18,115
Well, then I guess you should
log in and make a post.
267
00:10:18,116 --> 00:10:19,408
By the time
I figure out how to do that,
268
00:10:19,409 --> 00:10:21,117
all your books'll be gone!
269
00:10:21,118 --> 00:10:22,495
Then I guess you should've
listened when I young-splained
270
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,953
social media to you.
271
00:10:23,954 --> 00:10:26,124
Fine. Time to bring out
the heavy artillery.
272
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:32,129
Here today, scone tomorrow.
273
00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:33,340
- Hm.
- Hah!
274
00:10:36,676 --> 00:10:39,180
Okay, finally. Guess what?
275
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:42,682
I am about to go to lunch
in a minute with Sheila.
276
00:10:42,807 --> 00:10:44,808
I know! She asked me.
Can you believe it?
277
00:10:44,809 --> 00:10:45,976
That's huge. Are you nervous?
278
00:10:45,977 --> 00:10:46,977
A little. What do you think?
279
00:10:46,978 --> 00:10:48,770
Tuck or untuck?
280
00:10:48,771 --> 00:10:50,690
You're a badass mother-tucker,
Howie.
281
00:10:50,815 --> 00:10:51,939
Okay, I know you meant
that sarcastically,
282
00:10:51,940 --> 00:10:53,608
but I'm taking it
as a compliment.
283
00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:55,276
That means that
you'll be gone for a while.
284
00:10:55,277 --> 00:10:56,696
Perfect.
285
00:10:56,821 --> 00:10:58,447
Jaqueline, do not make me laugh.
286
00:10:58,448 --> 00:11:00,323
I will be back soon enough
to wrap up this competition
287
00:11:00,324 --> 00:11:01,491
in a neat little bow.
288
00:11:01,492 --> 00:11:03,327
Yeah, probably.
289
00:11:03,328 --> 00:11:04,537
I don't think my post about
mansplaining will get much
290
00:11:04,662 --> 00:11:07,164
traction on a the Internet.
291
00:11:07,165 --> 00:11:09,165
Oh, Howard. Howard's thinking,
292
00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:12,461
"Sheila, day off,
Sheila, day off."
293
00:11:12,462 --> 00:11:14,170
Oh, a potential soul mate or--
294
00:11:14,171 --> 00:11:18,386
or a day to get paid to
delve into new exhibits.
295
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,178
Ugh!
E pluribus unum, what to do!"
296
00:11:21,179 --> 00:11:22,846
Now you're thinking,
"She's misusing Latin !
297
00:11:22,847 --> 00:11:25,473
Do I correct her
or go on my date?
298
00:11:25,474 --> 00:11:27,685
Is this even a date?"
299
00:11:32,690 --> 00:11:34,734
Okay.
300
00:11:34,859 --> 00:11:36,485
Alright.
301
00:11:36,486 --> 00:11:39,655
Right over here, gentlemen.
302
00:11:39,656 --> 00:11:42,243
Okay. One for you,
and one for you,
303
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:46,080
and one for you,
and one for your friend?
304
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,496
Eh? You got a friend
who wants this? Yeah?
305
00:11:48,497 --> 00:11:49,539
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Come on.
306
00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:50,874
You guys don't want that book.
307
00:11:50,875 --> 00:11:52,253
It's marked.
There's a lady lib group
308
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,044
that tracks any man
that checks it out,
309
00:11:54,045 --> 00:11:56,380
and if they catch you--
310
00:11:56,381 --> 00:11:57,713
Okay, don't listen to him,
311
00:11:57,714 --> 00:11:59,174
and I wouldn't eat
that if I were you.
312
00:11:59,175 --> 00:12:00,217
He learned how to
make those in prison.
313
00:12:00,218 --> 00:12:01,510
They're
three-ingredient scones.
314
00:12:01,511 --> 00:12:06,055
One of the ingredients
is butter.
315
00:12:06,056 --> 00:12:09,936
They are-- They are delicious!
This is discrimination, Jaq!
316
00:12:10,061 --> 00:12:11,352
Get your books here!
317
00:12:11,353 --> 00:12:14,564
How to Beat Any
Nintendo 64 Game!
318
00:12:14,565 --> 00:12:15,857
Like, all of them!
319
00:12:15,858 --> 00:12:17,445
- Hey, dawg! Dawg!
- Yeah? Yeah?
320
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,280
Cut it with all that noise, fam!
This a library, dawg.
321
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:20,571
Sorry, sorry.
322
00:12:20,572 --> 00:12:21,737
And why them scones so dry?!
323
00:12:21,738 --> 00:12:24,031
They too dry even
for scones, fam!
324
00:12:24,032 --> 00:12:27,287
Okay, I-I am sorry,
but, um, now it seems like
325
00:12:27,412 --> 00:12:28,746
you're being the loud one.
326
00:12:28,747 --> 00:12:30,079
Touche.
327
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,372
Thanks for lunch.
328
00:12:31,373 --> 00:12:32,540
It's nothing.
329
00:12:32,541 --> 00:12:33,916
Thanks for saying yes.
330
00:12:33,917 --> 00:12:36,377
Hey, you two want
some carrot muffins?
331
00:12:36,378 --> 00:12:37,755
Mom.
332
00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:39,088
It's okay.
My mom's a food pusher too.
333
00:12:39,089 --> 00:12:40,756
We're fine, thank you.
334
00:12:40,757 --> 00:12:42,469
Oh, she don't care
about feeding us.
335
00:12:42,594 --> 00:12:43,804
Why you pushing muffins,
Old Lady?
336
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,097
Your fool of a father
bought an extra dozen.
337
00:12:47,098 --> 00:12:48,809
They gon' expire. Take them, no?
338
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,391
Mom, we're good. Leave us now.
339
00:12:50,392 --> 00:12:52,059
I'll bring six.
340
00:12:52,060 --> 00:12:53,772
You can take them
back to the library.
341
00:12:56,316 --> 00:12:58,107
Hey, how come I never see
your mom and dad here together?
342
00:12:58,108 --> 00:12:59,943
I mean, I know they're divorced,
but it can't be that bad.
343
00:12:59,944 --> 00:13:03,157
Oh, it's bad.
Like, stabbed-in-the-leg bad.
344
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:06,116
So, did she stab him
or did he stab her?
345
00:13:06,117 --> 00:13:08,117
Mm. Yes.
346
00:13:08,118 --> 00:13:10,245
Oh, God.
347
00:13:10,246 --> 00:13:11,746
Well, then I'm glad
that I dodged
348
00:13:11,747 --> 00:13:13,624
the whole marriage bullet.
349
00:13:13,625 --> 00:13:16,959
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to be insensitive.
350
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,794
I know that things are kind of
rough with you and your ex.
351
00:13:18,795 --> 00:13:22,509
It's okay. The divorce
is almost official now.
352
00:13:22,634 --> 00:13:23,511
Really?
353
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:24,844
Really?
354
00:13:24,969 --> 00:13:27,804
Dane!
I mean, Dane, this is Sheila.
355
00:13:27,805 --> 00:13:29,305
Sheila, this is Dane.
356
00:13:29,306 --> 00:13:31,518
Would you excuse me
for one second?
357
00:13:31,643 --> 00:13:32,934
Yeah.
358
00:13:32,935 --> 00:13:33,977
Dude, I am so sorry.
I totally forgot,
359
00:13:33,978 --> 00:13:36,438
but Sheila asked me to lunch.
360
00:13:36,439 --> 00:13:39,315
I took two streetcars here,
dude. Two.
361
00:13:39,316 --> 00:13:40,483
You poor thing. I'm so sorry.
362
00:13:40,484 --> 00:13:41,943
I promise
I'll make it up to you.
363
00:13:41,944 --> 00:13:43,779
But it's good to
see you as usual!
364
00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:46,823
You know what?
Try a muffin, carrot.
365
00:13:46,824 --> 00:13:48,826
Does he want to join us?
366
00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:51,828
Uh, no. He's got one
too many streetcars to ride.
367
00:13:51,829 --> 00:13:53,329
No, no, no, no, no. You can't
send these out yourself.
368
00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:55,164
That doesn't count, right?
369
00:13:55,165 --> 00:13:56,500
Oh, I know.
370
00:13:56,501 --> 00:14:00,504
These are perfect
for your LAN party.
371
00:14:00,505 --> 00:14:01,837
LAN party?
372
00:14:01,838 --> 00:14:02,883
You're not
the only one who knows
373
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:05,051
how to use the Internet, Jaq.
374
00:14:05,176 --> 00:14:07,177
Ever hear of Reddit?
375
00:14:07,178 --> 00:14:08,722
Have you?
376
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:09,847
Have a great day.
377
00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:10,847
No, don't...
378
00:14:10,848 --> 00:14:13,183
One book left.
379
00:14:13,184 --> 00:14:14,854
No. No, no.
380
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:19,482
The key fob is in
here somewhere, I know it.
381
00:14:20,984 --> 00:14:23,318
Wendy, open up!
382
00:14:23,319 --> 00:14:25,319
It's too far now.
383
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,907
Do you want me to get the tools?
384
00:14:29,033 --> 00:14:32,370
No, Ervin. It's okay. Thank you.
385
00:14:36,916 --> 00:14:39,670
I'm sorry. Okay?
I'm-- I'm sorry.
386
00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:44,548
I didn't know that
finding you a place to live
387
00:14:44,549 --> 00:14:46,259
would be such
a terrible thing.
388
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:51,056
It took forever to
get you into that program.
389
00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:55,891
Oh...
390
00:14:55,892 --> 00:14:57,521
I over-stepped, didn't I?
391
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,441
You know me.
I'm passionate. I--
392
00:15:03,985 --> 00:15:06,403
I don't know why this
isn't a good thing for you,
393
00:15:06,404 --> 00:15:08,949
but I'm listening now.
394
00:15:10,033 --> 00:15:11,034
So, what's up?
395
00:15:13,911 --> 00:15:14,872
Wendy?
396
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:19,417
Wendy!
397
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:22,296
Stay alive!
398
00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:27,676
Hey, you look like a loser.
In a good way.
399
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:30,345
Help! Help, it's Wendy!
400
00:15:30,470 --> 00:15:31,347
We gotta get that washroom open!
401
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:32,681
What happened?!
402
00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:33,681
I don't know.
I think she collapsed.
403
00:15:33,806 --> 00:15:35,598
The door is stuck.
404
00:15:35,599 --> 00:15:39,602
Oh, no.
I am not a ginger beer guy.
405
00:15:39,603 --> 00:15:41,270
You trust me?
406
00:15:41,271 --> 00:15:44,192
That's a trick question.
So, yes.
407
00:15:44,317 --> 00:15:45,277
Have at it.
408
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,946
Mm!
409
00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:51,615
Wow.
That tastes like a temperature.
410
00:15:51,616 --> 00:15:53,784
It's good to know
that you trust me.
411
00:15:53,785 --> 00:15:55,785
I'm not sure I do anymore.
412
00:15:55,786 --> 00:15:57,996
I miss joking with people.
413
00:15:57,997 --> 00:15:59,499
It's been a while.
414
00:16:01,709 --> 00:16:05,795
Well, what happened with Adonis?
415
00:16:05,796 --> 00:16:10,634
I'm just not the person
I was when I was 23. You know?
416
00:16:10,635 --> 00:16:11,635
Yeah.
417
00:16:11,636 --> 00:16:13,470
Huh.
418
00:16:13,471 --> 00:16:14,556
What?
419
00:16:14,681 --> 00:16:17,307
My ex, I think that, well,
420
00:16:17,308 --> 00:16:18,893
maybe she might be
in the same boat.
421
00:16:19,018 --> 00:16:22,188
You know.
The S.S. I've Outgrown You.
422
00:16:23,648 --> 00:16:25,401
I'm sure it wasn't
the same thing.
423
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,483
Look, I'm not upset anymore.
424
00:16:27,484 --> 00:16:29,151
She was right.
425
00:16:29,152 --> 00:16:30,571
Just took me a while to see it.
426
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,032
How long did it take you?
427
00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:36,744
Just now.
428
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:42,832
Well, personally, I think you're
a really good guy, you know?
429
00:16:42,833 --> 00:16:45,168
You're smart, you're attentive,
430
00:16:45,169 --> 00:16:48,424
you're easy to talk to.
431
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:52,009
So easy that I forgot the reason
that I asked you to lunch.
432
00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:55,430
I am taking my finals soon
and I need help studying.
433
00:16:55,555 --> 00:16:57,599
It's weird, I know, but you just
are so detail-oriented,
434
00:16:57,724 --> 00:16:59,016
you know all that Latin--
435
00:16:59,017 --> 00:17:00,017
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes!
436
00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:01,393
Tu in me.
437
00:17:01,394 --> 00:17:03,185
You in me?
438
00:17:03,186 --> 00:17:05,273
No, no! "Tu in me."
439
00:17:05,398 --> 00:17:07,275
It's Latin for "you can
depend on me." I'll help.
440
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:11,446
Oh. Oh, okay. Thank you.
441
00:17:11,571 --> 00:17:14,530
It would mean
seeing me outside of work.
442
00:17:14,531 --> 00:17:17,201
Well, look, I think I'll manage.
443
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,290
You got a soft throat.
444
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:30,047
What's going on here?
445
00:17:30,048 --> 00:17:31,048
Wendy's in there,
we think she's hurt.
446
00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:33,635
Okay, almost got it, and-- Yeah!
447
00:17:35,762 --> 00:17:37,053
Wendy?
448
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,222
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
449
00:17:40,223 --> 00:17:41,433
Jaq, say something to it.
450
00:17:41,434 --> 00:17:43,100
I'm Native,
not a (bleep) superhero!
451
00:17:43,101 --> 00:17:44,980
It's staring right at me.
452
00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:46,271
Easy, Howie.
453
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:50,399
- Oh--
- Oh, my God.
454
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:51,820
Everybody, just don't worry.
Don't sweat.
455
00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:53,612
It can smell confusion!
456
00:17:53,613 --> 00:17:55,614
Cover your bits!
Cover your bits!
457
00:17:55,615 --> 00:17:56,615
Open the door, Howard!
458
00:17:56,616 --> 00:17:57,658
No!
459
00:17:57,784 --> 00:17:59,160
You're right next to it!
460
00:18:02,455 --> 00:18:03,579
Where's Wendy?
461
00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:05,624
I don't know.
462
00:18:05,625 --> 00:18:06,918
Wendy was a racoon.
463
00:18:15,468 --> 00:18:18,679
Oh, how was lunch?
464
00:18:18,805 --> 00:18:21,097
Good, not great.
465
00:18:21,098 --> 00:18:23,851
Hey, team.
Looks like that raccoon was
466
00:18:23,976 --> 00:18:25,810
living in our ceiling
for a while.
467
00:18:25,811 --> 00:18:27,604
Mm.
468
00:18:27,605 --> 00:18:29,106
Would explain the smell.
469
00:18:29,107 --> 00:18:30,773
But, hey! Thank you so much
for the book push!
470
00:18:30,774 --> 00:18:33,443
Watching you all engage
with our community was exactly
471
00:18:33,444 --> 00:18:36,780
what I needed today,
plus or minus a toilet raccoon.
472
00:18:36,781 --> 00:18:38,155
Well, it was our pleasure.
473
00:18:38,156 --> 00:18:39,616
Oh, and Dottie called.
474
00:18:39,617 --> 00:18:42,285
She's tracking the books
and she is so happy.
475
00:18:42,286 --> 00:18:44,287
Dottie is happy that
books about the South winning
476
00:18:44,288 --> 00:18:46,664
the Civil War are moving?
477
00:18:46,665 --> 00:18:48,458
Mm-hm.
478
00:18:48,459 --> 00:18:52,714
Wendy, I don't think this
Dottie is a good friend for you.
479
00:18:52,839 --> 00:18:54,463
Oh, she's adorbs.
You would love her.
480
00:18:54,464 --> 00:18:57,051
She is a part-time archer!
481
00:18:57,176 --> 00:18:58,387
- Sorry, part-time?
- Why would we love that?
482
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,135
I'm starting to
think Dottie's not real.
483
00:19:00,136 --> 00:19:01,723
- Oh, yeah. No, totally!
- That she exists.
484
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:02,806
It makes sense
that she doesn't exist,
485
00:19:02,807 --> 00:19:04,225
because I don't understand--
486
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:07,896
Have you done this before or?
487
00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:09,311
Uh, something like this.
488
00:19:09,312 --> 00:19:11,189
There it is.
I was looking for that.
489
00:19:11,190 --> 00:19:14,317
- Thank you, Saint Anthony.
- Wendy!
490
00:19:14,318 --> 00:19:16,318
Geez!
491
00:19:16,319 --> 00:19:18,864
I'm so sorry. I-- I overstepped.
492
00:19:18,865 --> 00:19:20,576
I promise I will consult you
493
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,160
if I ever do anything
like that again.
494
00:19:23,161 --> 00:19:26,163
Good, because you don't
know what's best for me,
495
00:19:26,164 --> 00:19:27,539
and that place you got me
496
00:19:27,540 --> 00:19:31,166
is wrong for a hundred reasons.
497
00:19:31,167 --> 00:19:32,335
A hundred reasons?
498
00:19:32,336 --> 00:19:33,922
It's outside of the city.
499
00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:36,757
All my health resources
are here in Parkdale.
500
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:40,175
All my food resources.
All my friends are here.
501
00:19:40,176 --> 00:19:42,345
Aww, we're your friends.
502
00:19:42,346 --> 00:19:44,055
Don't make me regret this.
503
00:19:44,056 --> 00:19:47,183
Listen,
I've done programs like that
504
00:19:47,184 --> 00:19:49,184
and they always end badly.
505
00:19:49,185 --> 00:19:51,855
Okay.
506
00:19:51,856 --> 00:19:53,690
But where have you been all day?
507
00:19:53,691 --> 00:19:56,526
As you know, once a year
508
00:19:56,527 --> 00:20:01,196
me and my squad
go through Drake's garbage.
509
00:20:01,197 --> 00:20:03,032
Drake Day!
510
00:20:03,033 --> 00:20:04,533
Has it been a year already?
511
00:20:04,534 --> 00:20:07,871
Oh, and this year
his trash was lit.
512
00:20:09,081 --> 00:20:12,043
Check this out.
513
00:20:14,754 --> 00:20:16,754
- I found this.
- Oh.
514
00:20:16,755 --> 00:20:18,466
It's an Aubrey.
515
00:20:18,591 --> 00:20:19,467
- Wow.
- Yes.
516
00:20:19,592 --> 00:20:20,468
What's it for?
517
00:20:20,593 --> 00:20:21,802
I have no idea.
518
00:20:23,554 --> 00:20:25,888
Maybe he got it for wearing
those skinny little beards.
519
00:20:25,889 --> 00:20:27,057
Oh, the skinny beards to
match the skinny jeans.
520
00:20:27,058 --> 00:20:28,060
Yes.
521
00:20:30,478 --> 00:20:31,895
It's almost home time.
522
00:20:31,896 --> 00:20:33,395
Looks like it's gonna
end in a tie, guys.
523
00:20:33,396 --> 00:20:34,606
Mm-hm. Oh, Howard,
we forgot to tell you that
524
00:20:34,607 --> 00:20:36,107
your friend came by earlier.
525
00:20:36,108 --> 00:20:38,902
He knows. He knows.
526
00:20:38,903 --> 00:20:39,985
Dane, you came back.
527
00:20:39,986 --> 00:20:41,695
Do you wanna grab some dinner?
528
00:20:41,696 --> 00:20:45,617
Mm, got plans. I'm gonna curl up
with this book tonight.
529
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:48,619
- No, no. No, no, no, no, no.
- Um, no. We've got other books.
530
00:20:48,620 --> 00:20:49,870
Exactly. I promise you,
531
00:20:49,871 --> 00:20:50,872
you don't know
what you're doing.
532
00:20:50,873 --> 00:20:52,206
Oh, I do.
533
00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:54,166
Bag it and tag it, Howie. Woo!
534
00:20:54,167 --> 00:20:56,711
Dane, I mean.
There's two other books here.
535
00:20:56,712 --> 00:20:58,003
You haven't left
the library yet.
536
00:20:58,004 --> 00:20:59,505
Technically,
you haven't gotten it.
537
00:20:59,506 --> 00:21:00,508
You can change your mind,
it's not too late!
538
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,344
Oh, my.
539
00:21:06,013 --> 00:21:08,222
Ooh!
540
00:21:08,223 --> 00:21:09,268
No.
541
00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:21,154
You happy now?
38287
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