All language subtitles for Shelved.S01E03.Drag.The.Complete.Story.NONFIC.DOO.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

Patton Jefferson liked my post.

I don't care.

Which one, you ask?

"Hey, Toronto,
let's fix the highways

with fake meat and feminism."

- Sounds like a mad lib.
- You sound like a mad lib.

Oh, that's a good one.
Hi. Paige Phlip?

- Hey.
- Hi. I'm Jaq.

Um, Wendy's expecting you.
Just one second.

Wendy?

Yeah. How you doing?
Paige Phlip?

That's an interesting name.

What is that,
European or something?

No. It's a house name.

All my siblings
are part of the Phlip dynasty.

Aerial Phlip.
Twist Phlip. Table Phlip.

What, what? You're a--

Paige Phlip?

- Wendy Yarmouth.
- You look fantastic.

Here. Let me show you the setup
for story time.

Great.

Thank you so much for coming,
Paige.

That's a drag queen, yeah?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.
What was your first clue?

She's here to read
for story time.

Sally has
hand-foot-mouth disease.

- That's our story time reader?
- Mm-hmm.

Fudge bags. Oh, this is going to
be a whole thing.

Excuse me.

Uh, you're not excused.

Oh. Did you need something else?

Mm-hmm. Um--

Uh, okay. Now, you're excused.

- Oh, Bryce?
- Yeah?

- Now, you're excused.
- Argh!

Oh.

Flower delivery here?

Strange.

Ah, thanks.

They're for Alvin Canada.

Gross.

Yeah. From a client of his,
I guess.

"Roses are red. Money is green.

Thanks for your advice
and time to convene."

What it should say is,

"Roses are red. Money is green.
You're a loser."

You know what?
I might write that one down.

No, no, no. That's a felony.

I'm going to have a word
with him.

Mm-hmm. Uh, wait.
Can you give these to him?

I think he's getting audited.

Yeah.

- Oh.
- Oh, no. I--

That's so sweet.

Oh.

- Correct.
- Oh, yeah. That's a good one.

Why is the man dressed
like a woman?

Shh.

She's confusing the kids.

- Do you like this one?
- Oh, I do like this one.

And now, we are losing patrons.
Great.

Are you going to read that?

What? No. Here.

Wait.

- You look conservative.
- Thank you.

Did you know there's a drag
queen here to read to children?

Show me.

- Great, great, great.
- This one's a fabulous one.

This one is about--

- Subhan Allah.
- Yeah. Exactly.

You calling your boys
down at the mosque?

Razia, there's a drag queen
at the library.

Story time.

No. For the children.

Yes. Kids. Okay. Be quick.

She's on her way.

- Tell me something.
- Mm-hmm?

Why is it only for the children?

You can direct
all your complaints

to Wendy,
our branch manager. She--

Wait. Did you say "only"?

My wife loves "Drag Race."

We don't have any kids,

but is it all right
if we sit in the back?

Will the queen take a selfie
with us?

Oh, for--

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sorry, folks.

If you're here for story time,
I hate to tell you

there's been a bit of an issue.

Our reader cancelled,
and our branch manager here

thought it'd be a good idea
to have a--

- Paige Phlip!
- Don't point, honey. It's rude.

You're here to see the
drag queen with your children?

Oh, yes, we are.
My kids love her.

We saw her post
and rushed right down.

Come on, kiddos.
Let's get a good seat.

- Thanks for your help.
- I didn't help you.

- Come on.
- Come on down, kiddos.

- Get in there. Aw.
- Great.

- Welcome.
- This one's for you.

Psst.

Oh. I'm sorry. Can you hold this
for one second?

- Okay. Yep.
- I just have to--

I'll talk to you later.

I just want to have a quick
word, if you don't mind.

Just this way, okay?

Do you think this is appropriate
for such young children?

Yeah. I mean,
there are a few little ones,

but this is the biggest crowd
we've had yet.

Kids should not be exposed to
adult issues.

Adult issues?

Sexuality is not a topic

that should be explored
at story time, Wendy.

Sexuality? Paige is using

the same approved book list
as Sally.

The book? Ha!

Kids are going to have questions
about him, not the book.

I got to say, Bryce, I was
really hoping that you would

not be as closed-minded
as you're being right now.

Okay. Look. Paige can do
whatever she/her does

at the nightclubs and
the discotheques or whatever.

But the library is a safe space.
Okay?

And how is it closed-minded
to want to protect children?

Protect them from what?

How is a parent
supposed to explain

a drag queen to their kids?

It's pretty simple.
Dad just explained to me.

A drag queen is a man,
but doesn't have to be a man,

who dresses up fancy
for a performance,

and it's part of being
their true self.

Bryce, really?

Well, you tried.

Oh, no. No. This is not over.

It's a sit-in.

Of pretty flowers--

This is a sit-in!

Keep story time safe
for children.

Keep story time
safe for children!

Hashtag,
make story time great again.

- Do not post that, Jaq.
- Post it.

Ahmed, my dude,
it's already posted.

Don't post that, Jaq. Jaq? Jaq?

Why are you coming
from that way?

Well, you know, it's
the most efficient way to go

if you want to take
the long way around

to avoid seeing Sheila again.

What did you do?

I had to go past
the suit of happiness room,

through a back alley,
down the freight elevator--

No, dummy. Why?

I think she thought that

Alvin's flowers were
from me to her.

And when she kind of reached
for them,

I sort of yanked them away.

Ugh.

And she played it off like
she didn't reach for them.

- I ran.
- Cringe.

I know.

But then, I don't know.
Maybe that means that

she kind of, I don't know,
wants flowers from me?

But what does a married woman
want with flowers from me?

Well, who told you
she was married?

- Bryce?
- Bryce.

- So, she's not married?
- Well, technically, she is.

But you know, she's separated

and finalizing her divorce.

So long as we're

on this line of questioning,
you know, is she dating?

I mean, you know, who's
all dating? Is Wendy? Are you?

I want to know about all my
co-workers, not just Sheila.

Okay. Oh, my God.
Dude, shoot your shot.

Oh.

Go.

And when I turn the page,
you say, "Paige Phlip."

- Paige Phlip!
- Yes, Kareem.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

Shh. What is the problem now?

Patton Jefferson reposted
that story time photo

that Jaq took of me.

- Don't you love that guy?
- With all my heart.

- Then it's a good thing.
- No. He wrote,

"Look at these immoral liberals
wasting our tax dollars.

And this clown's just sitting
there letting it happen."

I'm not the clown.
That's the clown!

Excuse me?

Bryce, I think you should
go on your break now.

Go on your break!

Go on.

He's lucky that wasn't
Kick Phlip.

"Jameson Library is committed
to creating

"a diverse and safe environment
for its employees

"and our patrons
regardless of age, colour, race,

gender identity
or expression..."

"...sexual orientation..."

"...national origin,

genetics..."

"...religion, disability,
citizenship

or immigration status."

Quick question.

How many lunches have to be
ruined by sensitivity training

because Bryce said
something stupid?

He's not even taking
this seriously.

You know,
he offended one of our patrons.

How is she, or is it he?

"It"?

Oh, no.
I didn't mean to say that.

- I'm so sorry.
- Paige is "she/her."

Roger-roger.
Thank you. Shutting up.

Regardless of pronouns,

if you see something that you
believe violates this statement,

you can report
the incident to me

or our assistant branch manager.

Actually,
best to report it to me.

I like Paige.
She's more provocative.

What exactly is provocative
about her?

Oh, no. Did I do it again?
Owen, I'm so sorry.

Why me?

- Your moms.
- They're not drag queens.

I haven't eaten.

Don't. Don't.

Is this chip carbonated?

Look. I thought Paige
did a fantastic job,

but we shouldn't sideline Sally

just 'cause she's not
a drag queen.

- Right on, Howie.
- I'm not on your side.

Don't you find Sally
a little bit vanilla?

Are we allowed to say "vanilla"?

Yes, but white ladies
cannot say "chocolate."

Bryce?

Went down the wrong hole.

My acai smoothie!

I'm okay. I'm okay.

Oh. Just a second.

If we have to do
another sensitivity seminar,

we're going to need
a workplace violence meeting.

Yes. I wholeheartedly agree.

Could I get your opinion
on something?

How would you go about
wooing someone?

Oh, damn it. Are we still
on this conversation?

- Help me out?
- Mm-mmm.

Okay.
Well, I could do it myself.

I could find Sheila's number.

Just get her handle
and like a few of her posts

and slide into her DMs
like a normal person would.

And now, don't talk to me
for 10 minutes.

- See? Handles. There's a--
- 10 minutes.

Thank you. Goodbye.

Time to go home.
Got work to do around here.

- Bryce, Bryce?
- Real work. Yeah? What?

I am really disappointed that

you didn't take
the meeting seriously.

Who did? Thing was a mess.

Tanya left that meeting

more confused than
when it started, all right?

If Tanya can't understand,
how do you expect kids to?

Kids don't understand
a lot of things.

But both Tanya and kids
are open to learning,

which is more than I can say
about you right now.

You make me come to
these meetings

to understand
your point of view,

but you never have meetings
to listen to mine.

How is that inclusive?

Your point of view
is literally excluding

a vital member of our community.

Hmm. It's a slippery slope,
and not the waterpark kind

but equally as dangerous.

If you have a drag queen
reading to kids, who's next?

Who's next?

Excuse me.
I've about had enough.

Honey, you are a dinosaur.

And you better evolve
before you go extinct,

you dusty old pattosaur.

Patt-riot, actually, okay?

Before misinformation meteors
rain down on you

and relegate you to irrelevance,

evolve, boo-boo,
before they find your fossils

and the kids find out
that what could've been

a magnificent creature
is actually just

an oversized chicken
with a pea-sized brain.

They're gonna put your bones
on display, you ignoramus rex.

Dinosaur!

Do his clothes now.
Do his clothes.

Wait a minute. I'll start.

This outfit is one Tiki torch
away from a hate crime.

Mm-hmm.

Look at that sad plaid
and tacky khaki.

Where'd you get your clothes
from, huh? H&M?

Heterosexual and Mad about it?

- You ate that.
- Mmm!

What is happening?

I believe you got read to filth.

Yes, you did, honey.

Consider the library closed.

Closed.

Closed.

Hey, Sheila.
Um, you need some help?

- No, I'm good.
- Oh.

Actually, sure. Thank you.

- So, did you see the--
- How are you?

Uh, you first.

Sorry.

So, did you see the commotion

with Wendy and Bryce?

- Yeah. Paige is so cool.
- Yeah. She is.

I actually got a picture
with her for my socials.

Can I see that?
Oh, give me your handle.

Oh. It's my full name
with "XO" at the end.

Uh-huh.

Wow. You know what?
These are really handsome--

What?

Excuse me. I'm just...

...looking for the exercise
and sports science section?

No. I'm here to talk to my--

Howard, this is Adonis.

Yes. I can see that.

Adonis is my ex-husband.

Current husband.

- Ex-husband.
- Current husband.

I said what I said. It's ex.

Okay. Whatever.

It's winter.
Where's your jacket?

- I run hot.
- Sorry.

If could just excuse us
for one second--

This way.

Adonis.

I feel horrible about today.

Oh, don't. Nothing can make me
hate this place. It's magic.

Oh, it is magic.

And Bryce? He should not
have been so rude.

Thanks for trying to talk
to him.

We can't move forward
unless we talk to each other.

But still, I want to make it up
to Parkdale's drag community,

and I have an idea.

Girl! Lay it on me.

What are you doing here?

- I have tried calling you.
- You cannot come down here.

You're going to have to learn
to be more covert

with your eavesdropping.

I wasn't eavesdropping.

Everybody else is eavesdropping.

They're just better at it
than you.

See Tanya, putting books
back on the shelf?

It's the same book.

Puts it on the shelf,
then takes it right back off.

That's why
she's always shelving.

Uh-huh.
That lady checking her makeup?

Her mirror is pointed directly

at Sheila and that Adonis.

And look. That kid's been tying
their shoelace

for the past 10 minutes.

And they're Velcro.

Yeah. Now, use this.

Pretend to clean
so you don't look like a creep.

Yeah. Thank you.

- Yeah.
- Good eye.

- Custody.
- What do you mean?

What do you mean,
what do I mean?

What do you mean, cat custody?
Do you even want Gregory,

or are you trying to make this
difficult?

My condo has floor-to-ceiling
windows

that create a giant sunbeam.
He loves it.

He loves me.

- Well?
- Well?

I guess the lawyers
will be involved.

- I guess they will be.
- Mmm.

- You want Rob?
- Mm-hmm.

No problem.

- Okay, great.
- Great.

Ugh. Not this again.

Bryce, come and get
your makeup done.

- Pass.
- Try it.

You might like it.

This isn't Peter Pan, Wendy.

You can't make people
just clap their hands

and believe.

This is weird.

Instead of laughing at me
in this filth library,

I figured
you'd respect my opinion,

because I've had your back
for 10 years.

I love it, but every section of
this library seems to be drama.

Hmm.

Can I help you find a book?

I'm fine.

You sure?

It's my favourite section.

I'm pretty familiar with
all these authors.

- Do you know me?
- Uh, no. I'm sorry.

I'm Bryce,
assistant branch manager.

I'm Antwan.
I'm looking for "Apoca-Tips:

Your Source for Surviving
the End of the World."

Uh-huh.

Great choice, Antwan.

It is nice to meet
another prepper.

Ah. I'm just getting
into prepping.

I figured if the world's
going to end,

might as well have snacks.

That's so true.

So true. First step of prepping?

Huh? Huh? Huh?

- Hmm? What?
- Be prepared.

That's sort of a trick question,
but you know--

No. I got you. I got you.
I've got two weeks' supply

of food and water.

Good.
You got your bug-out bag yet?

Oh, no. Not yet.

I was going to use the list
in this book.

Ooh. Actually, you know what?

2012, that list was torn
out of here

by a previous prepper.

Hmm.

Or so they want us to believe.

- Okay.
- Okay?

You got to be careful sometimes.

All right. Here you go.
This one will help you out.

"Surviving Your Family
in a Bunker."

Oh, God.

I could not survive in a bunker
with my parents.

We'd be at each other like
you and your co-worker earlier.

Yeah. Um, I'm sorry
you had to see that.

You know, honestly,

Wendy wouldn't be bad
in a bunker.

She's not normally like that.

That's good to hear.

And I don't know
all your business,

but I do know that keeping
friends and chosen family close

is the only way I stay sane
in this crazy world.

Tell me about it.

It's hard to find someone
who sees you for who you are,

flaws and all,
and still accepts you.

Keep those people close.

- Thanks for this.
- Yeah.

Whoa.
Where you going with those?

I bought them for Sheila.

Uh, you're going to make things
way more awkward,

if that's even possible.

No. These will undo the awkward.

How?

This bouquet says,

"Look. I see that you're glum.

I hope you have a better day,
buddy."

Oh. "Buddy"? I don't know.

When I said "shoot your shot,"
I didn't mean in your foot.

- Too late. I'm going.
- Oh.

I got to go.

For me?

Yeah, buddy.

Buddy?

I'm sorry.
If you could just excuse me--

Oh. Ugh.

Congrats.
Way more awkward, buddy.

I was hoping we could talk

without the whole library
chiming in.

Yeah, sure. Take a seat.

We've been through too much

to let something so trivial
get between us.

That's the thing.

What you see as trivial
is actually a way of life

and a livelihood
for drag queens.

I can't tolerate the way
you treated our guest.

I'm not alone here.

I mean, I may be alone here,

but there are others
who think like me, Wendy.

Oh? Who?

Your patt-riot friends?

Well, they're not my friends,
but like them,

I don't think we should flaunt
drag queens

in front of children.

Flaunt? Bryce, what is
the difference between

Paige wearing a sparkly dress

and Sally wearing
her polka-dot overalls?

You just have to be careful
who you expose kids to.

Like an ex-con?

It says here you have experience
managing a library,

but it doesn't say which branch.
Midtown?

No. Not Midtown.

- Somewhere in Mississauga?
- No.

Which branch did you work at?

It wasn't a branch per se.

Well, I would love to know
where you--

It was at the penitentiary.

I love books and libraries.

I was damn good at my job
in the pen.

I just need a safe space
to prove myself,

and no one's willing
to give that to me.

You were looking for
a safe space,

and I offered that to you.

And now, you're trying to take
that same freedom

from someone else who needs it.

So, in conclusion,
I'm a jackass?

Language.
But not, you're not a donkey.

Not all the time.

I always saw something more
in you.

And look at how you flourished
when you had a place to belong.

You're the assistant head
of this branch.

You cannot exclude
members of the community

based on your own biases.

I get it.

I mean, I get it, but--

I get it.

And Paige is a wonderful,
intelligent, talented person

with interesting passions.

Besides, it looked like you
were already getting along.

What do you mean?
When she filth-read me?

No. You were talking to her
in the stacks.

Well, not to Paige,
but to Antwan.

That's Paige
when she's not in drag.

No, 'cause he was manly
and strapping.

- Mm-hmm.
- But, like, how?

It's okay, Bryce.
You'll get there.

Yeah.

Oh. What?

I know, right?
Aren't they beautiful?

Did you see that?

She hates the flowers,
so she hates me.

I moved too fast.
She's going to block me.

Should I block myself?
Should I start a new account?

Howard,
what were you thinking?

Um, whoever told you to shoot
your shot, though,

that was bad advice.

No, no, no. That was you.
That was you. Jaq, that was you.

Whatever.

- Ah, it burns.
- Oh, suck it up, tough guy.

Just joking.
It's a good burn.

- What is this stuff?
- Moisturizer.

What does it do?

It moisturizes.

That explains
this crusty-ass skin.

Now, this has Vitamin D and C.

Good for when you're not going
to see the sun for weeks.

Oh. Well, they should sell this
at prep-cons.

Ah. It smells nice, actually.

Oh, that's the citrus, baby.

Ah.

I'm going to miss fruit most
of all when I'm bunkered up.

There's always canned fruit.

I've got peaches
and mandarin oranges.

You hang on to that stuff.

That's going to be currency
when the nuclear war begins.

Oh, my money's on
climate change.

That's going to force us
underground before that.

We're all going to die.

All right. Now, stand still.
This is very dry skin.

- Hey, Big Library.
- Hmm?

- Did you see Sheila's post?
- No. Why?

Check it out.

"Got these from a co-worker.
Too bad I'm severely allergic

"and had to go home,
but I really needed it today.

"Hashtag, allergies.
Hashtag, achoo."

Yeah. Allergies.

Don't get too ahead of yourself
there, Team Jacob.

She called you a co-worker.

You know what?

I'm going to need you to not say
anything for 10 minutes.

Oh!

You happy now?