All language subtitles for Acting Good s03e07 Secret Lies and Meatballs.eng

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Original subtitles

(Roger�speaking Anishinaabemowin)

-�Jo:�How�are�you�feeling? -�(Roger�continuing)

This�is�the�first�time�that we're�going�to�be�together,

you�know, in�front�of�my�family.

I�feel�great.

No,�that's�no�good! You�should�be�very�nervous.

Why?�I'm�going�to�win your�family�over

by�showing�them�that�they�can live�a�healthy�life

and�have�fun�doing�it at�the�same�time.

Okay. Let's�just�go�inside.

But�can�you�please�try and�not�be�so...

...Logan-y

Okay.

Roger: ...greeted�by�delegation.

And�Roger!

Thanks�for�filling�in�while�my radio�is�getting�fixed.

No�problem!

Anyway,�where�was�I?

?�'Cause�I�can�love�you,�baby�?

?�All�night�long�?

Hi,�Ma!

Hi.

I�hope�you're�hungry.

I�sure�am! Here,�I�made�this.

I�wasn't�sure�what�riboflavin options�you'd�be�serving,

so�I�brought�a�quinoa and�a�tofu�medley.

Quinoa!�I�didn't�know�that�he spoke�the�language,�Jo.

He�doesn't.

The�fibre�in�quinoa�results�in healthy�bowel�movements.

Oh,�Logan!

Let's�movement�into the�next�room.

You�can�put�the�quinoa�with the�meatballs�with�bacon,

the�moose�balls�with�bacon, and�the�bacon�balls�with--

Let�me�guess.�Bacon?

Oink-oink!

Great!�We're�the�last�ones�here!

Stephen�Harper,�you�should�have told�me�to�shower�sooner!

Sorry,�Paul.�I�was�busy�making all�this�food�you're�bringing.

(birds�chirping)

So,�you're�going�to�ask your�ma

if�we�can�move�into�the�lodge, right?

Yep.�Dean�barely�runs�it�now that�he's�at�Yeah�Man's.

What�else�is�she�going�to�do with�this�place?

It�would�be�real�nice�to�get�out of�that�tiny-ass�attachment.

We�should�have�a�plan�in�case she�says�no.

How�is�she�going�to�say�no to�her�baby,

who�is�about�to�have a�little�baby?

She�better�say�yes, so�suffocating�in�there

with�her�always�around.

That's�the�part I'm�gonna�miss.

Paul,�she�snuck�in�at 3�AM�last�night

to�clip�your�toenails.

Yeah,�that's�because�I�squirm when�I'm�awake!

Let's�say�it�doesn't�happen. Maybe�move�in�with�me.

Stephen�Harper!

I�would�never�move�into that�perv�house.

How�dare�you�even�put�that energy�in�the�air?!

Well,�his�place�does�have a�lot�of�space.

Okay,�then.�Let's�move�into�your ex-boyfriend's�place.

Right�after�he�donated�his�sperm to�us�so�we�can�have�a�baby!

Okay,�well,�when�you�put�it�that way,�it�does�sound�kind�of--

-�Beautiful? -�Stephen�Harper,

don't�jinx�this!

?

-�Hi,�my�boy! -�Aww.

Hi!

Oh,�and�my�baby!

My�baby's�baby.

Aww.

What's�wrong,�Paul?

It's�just...that�was�our�thing.

(Scoffing)

There�you�are.

Heh.�Hey.�Agnes�wanted�me to�give�you�these.

For�the�blessing�of�the�food, bro.

Excuse�you!

And�I'm�too�young�to�be an�elder.

Take�Roger�here.

Look�how�young�he�looks.

Miigwech,�Logan.

And�he's�not.�He's�old.

(Groaning)

Yo,�Rose.

Oh,�hey,�Chickadee.

Is�it�cool�if�we�talk?

Okay.

It's�just�that�we�never�talk.

I�guess�you're�kind�of�like, my�auntie.

(Gasping)

Aww!

I�never�thought�of�myself as�an�auntie!

Okay,�hold�on. Let�me�adjust.

Okay.

What's�up?

So,�you�know�that�ASMR�chick from�the�Chiefs�Conference?

The�Whispering�Blueberry?

Yeah.�Well,�I�guess,

-�I've�been�thinking�of�her. -�Why?

'Cause�she's�a�stupid�Buttern

and�all�Butterns�should fuck�off?

Not�exactly.

Rose: Oh.�I�see.

So...�Get�ready�for�this.

I�guess�I�kind�of...

...like�her?

Right�on.

No,�I�mean,�like, romantically�or�whatever.

Oh...

Aww,�that's�so adorable.

No,�it's�not�supposed to�be�adorable.

It's�supposed�to�be�badass.

I'm�a�badass.

Oh,�mothers,�lock�up your�daughters!

Somebody�call�the�Coast�Guard! We�need�back�up.

That's�so�fake.

(panting)

-�B'eb!�I�found�a�chocolate. -�And?

And�it�didn't�have�a�wrapper.

I�tried�to�stop�him.

Remember�what�we�said�about eating�food

that�doesn't�have a�wrapper?

It's�too�late. I�ate�it�already.

Sorry,�Chickadee.

I�got�to�go�make�sure�your uncle�doesn't�die.

(sighing)

I'm�pretty�sure�you're�eating rat�poop.

Agnes:�Okay,�we're�going to�get�started�now.

I'll�help.

Where�are�you�going�to�sit, best�mom�in�the�whole�world?

Ma,�look!�I�saved�you�the�best chair�in�the�house.

Ah-ah,�too�close, Doctor�Dumbass!

Go�sit�over�there.�I�don't�want to�smell�your�tofu�farts.

Actually,�tofu�is�good�for your�cholesterol.

The�fuck�did�you�just�say?

-�Hey! -�Enough.

Paul: But�Ma!

Logan�said�a�bad�word.

What�the�hell is�on�your�mind?

What?�Nothing. Just�some�insider�trading.

Well,�that�must be�everything.

Uh,�I...�I�think�you�forgot the�medley.

Hold�on,�I�just�wanted�to�say--

We've�got�an�announcement to�make!

Agnes: Okay!�One�sec.

I�just�want�to�say�that�I'm grateful�to�have�everybody�here.

We're�grateful�too!

-�I�also�would�like�to-- -�Agnes:�Okay.

I�just�want�to�say�it's�great that�we're�all�here.

Especially�elder�Roger.

Oh,�man,�that's�got�a�nice ring�to�it,�bro!

We've�had�this�lodge�in�our family�for�over�15�years.

Paul�and�Dean�have�done�a�job taking�care�of�it.

Don't�you�mean�a�good�job?

But�I'm�selling�the�lodge.

Oh,�Lord!�Paul! Are�you�okay?

Well,�guess�what?

Me,�Paul,�and�the�baby�are moving�into�Stephen�Harper's.

-�What?! -�I'm�so�happy�I�could�faint!

Chickadee,�what�were�you going�to�say?

Nothing.

?

e�you�are! I'm�so�sorry!

(grunting)

Is�it�true?�Are�you�moving�to Stephen�Harper's?

She�was�just�mad. Don't�let�it�ruin�your�supper.

You�cooked�so�many�balls!

You're�going�to�be so�far�away,

I'm�going�to�be�so�alone.

Ma,�Stephen�Harper�just�lives down�the�road!

-�They�explode! -�Ma!

Don't�say�that.

Who�is�going�to�cut�your toenails?

(inhaling�sharply)

They're�going�to�get�long like�eagle�claws.

Making�clickety-clack, clickety-clack.

I'm�just�going�to�take my�meatballs�and�go.

Ma,�Rose�didn't�mean any�of�that.

You�can�sell�the�lodge, we�can�live�together

just�like�you�wanted.

(laughing)

Oh,�my�boy, I'm�so�happy!

And�you�know�that�door you�bought�me�for�my�own�place?

Well,�guess�what? No�more�locks!

Even�better! No�more�hinges.

We're�going�to�take�that�door right�off.

(laughing)

How�could�I�not�know I�was�an�elder?

Well,�it's�because you're�old,

and�old�people�forget�shit.

All�the�signs�were�there, but�I�just�ignored�them.

My�sore�joints, my�inability�to�take�selfies.

And�when�you�said, "Roger,�you're�an�elder,"

it�was�all�there!

Bro,�just�look�on the�bright�side.

At�feasts, you�get�to�eat�first.

And�when�you�give�advice,

everyone�has�to�listen.

I've�always�dreamt�of�that.

Yeah,�man.�And�it's�like�being on�the�radio,

but�all�the�time.

?

Good�news. I�found�the�medley.

Oh,�for�fuck's�sakes.

Yeah,�it�was�tucked�behind the�toaster�oven,

and�then�covered�up�with some�hand�towels.

-�Can�you�believe�that? -�Get�over�here!

This�is�Health�Week all�over�again.

What�do�you�mean?

You're�making�a�fool of�yourself!

Cholesterol...

(in�a�high-pitched�voice) Riboflavin!

(in�a�deep�voice) Colons.

This�is�a�feast!

Them's�fighting�words.

(stammering)

I'm�just...

I'm�a�nurse, it's�hard�to�turn�me�off.

Well,�you're�doing�a�good�job turning�me�off�right�now.

Ouch.

Do�me�a�favour. Don't�refuse�any�of�the�food.

You�eat�everything�that's put�out�on�the�table.

-�In�moderation,�right? -�Hell�no!

In�fact,�the�more�you�eat,

the�more�this�family is�going�to�like�you.

Well,�that's�an�unhealthy attitude.

It's�one�meal.

And�please,

don't�give�people�any�health advice�whatsoever.

Okay.

Fine.

I�promise.

(sighing)

Thank�you.

(lighter�clicking)

Logan: Oh,�God...

Jo: Logan,�don't�do�it.

Oh,�but...

Out!�Butt�out!

It's�not�nice to�stare,�Logan!

Logan: That's�so�gross.

(clinking�noises�on�phone)

Oh,�Chickadee.

I'm�suddenly�feeling a�little�tired.

That's�okay.�I'll�leave.

I�remember when�I�was�your�age.

Yeah,�like�90�years�ago.

Okay,�relax,�young�one.

That�teenage�energy�is�hard to�control.�I�get�it.

You�want�to�be�heard, but�nobody�listens.

Yeah,�actually.

You�know,�Chickadee, I�learned�something�today.

That�it's�easier�to�just�get�up and�speak�your�truth

than�it�is�to�try and�bury�it.

Wow.

That�shit�was�actually kind�of�wise.

(wind�rustling)

Sorry.

It's�kind�of�breezy�in�here.

(snoring)

Are�you�trying�to�avoid�me?

No! (laughing�nervously)

I�was�just,�um,�uh...

I�love�you.

So,�you�told�your�Ma we're�still�moving�out?

Mmm-hmm.

And�she's�okay�with�it?

Yeah.

You�didn't�tell�her�that we're�staying?

Nah.

I'm�so�proud�of�you, sticking�up�for�your�b'eb

in�front�of�your�mom.

(groaning)

Where�am�I?�What�happened?

Take�it�easy,�Stephen�Harper. Go--�go�slow.

I�had�a�dream�that�Rose�said that�you�and�Paul

were�going�to�move�into�my�house with�the�baby

so�we�could�all�live�together.

That�wasn't�a�dream,�bro.

Yeah,�my�man�Paul made�it�happen.

Oh!�I'm�so�excited I�could�faint!

I'm�so�proud�of�you.

The�feast�is�back�on.

Thank�the�Creator! I'm�starving.

Feels�so�good�that�we�worked everything�out.

Nice�work,�Paul.

I'm�so�proud�of�you, communicating�openly�like�that.

Yes,�yes,�yes.

Uh,�let's�eat!

Why,�I'd�love�to.

I�will�bless�the�food dish�by�dish.

Mashed�potatoes�and�gravy, you�are�blessed.

Stuffing,�double-salted salt�pork,�and�poogitty�beans,

blessed,�blessed,�blessed.

Caribou�stew�and�Bannock,

you�are�very�blessed.

All�right,�come�on,�man. Let's�eat.

Quinoa�and�tofu, we'll�hold�off�on�that.

-�(sighing) -�Lastly,�me.

I�want�to�bless�myself.

Thank�you,�Creator, for�allowing�me--

Just�hurry�up,�bro!

Miigwetch,�Elder�Roger.

-�Everyone,�dig�in.�Weesinin! -�All�right!

That's�a�little�too�much.

Shh.�Shh,�shh,�shh.

Ah,�okay.

What's�the�matter, riboflavin?

Nothing. Everything�is�great.

I'm�ready�to�eat my�face�off.

Paul: Okay�there,�Nurse�Nervous.

We�should�get�you�a�bib�for�all the�food�you're�about�to�eat.

And�our�guest of�honour,�Logan.

Logan: Wonderful.

Come�on,�now. Eat�some.

-�Mmm. -�Jo,�he's�probably�full!

He�probably�had�an�apple yesterday.

Is�there�gravy�on�these?

-�Agnes:�There�is�now. -�Oh...

Jo: Do�it.

I'd�like�to�say�something.

What�now,�Chickadee?

Did�you�fail�out�of summer�school?

No.

I�just...

I�just�wanted�to�say...

I�like�girls.

And�boys.

-�Okay,�cool. -�That's�it?

(gagging)

Paul: Was�that�tofu?!

(groaning)

I�thought�it�was the�stuffing!

Oh!�You're�enjoying my�medley!

Mama,�I�don't�feel�so�good!

-�(groaning) -�My�boy!

Oh,�drink�some�gravy!

Hey,�you�did�good,�kid.

I'm�proud�of�you.

Yeah,�but�nobody�cares.

Paul,�see,�this�is�why you�need�all�of�us

living�in�the�same�house.

Paul? What�is�she�talking�about?

(chuckling)

You�know�how old�people�get.

Paul?�What�is�she talking�about?

(chuckling)

You�know�how�pregnant people�get.

Well,�I'm�not�sure�what Paul�told�you,

but�we're�moving to�Stephen�Harper's.

Well,�I'm�don't�know�what Paul�told�you,

but�I'm�selling�the�lodge�and you're�staying�with�me.

Why�don't�we�just�ask�Paul?

He�fucking�greased�us!

-(engine�cranking) -�Dean:�He's�over�there!

God�damnit!

Dean,�what�the�fuck are�you�doing?!

Sorry,�bro,�they�paid�me�off in�meatballs.

-�You�lied�to�your�Mama. -�And�your�baby�mama.

And�you�lied�even to�ninoosihs.

I�was�just�trying�to�make everyone�happy!

Yeah,�well,�now�everyone's�mad, bro.�Way�to�go!

Shut�up!�At�least�I�don't�sleep around�with�buckets!

What?�Don't�you�talk�about Bucket�Head�like�that!

Well,�if�you�love�me,�we'll�move into�Stephen�Harper's.

If�you�love�me,�you'll�stay in�the�attachment.

And�if�you�love�me,

you'll�take�back�that�comment you�made�about�Bucket�Head.

I�have�to�choose�between�my�Mama and�my�baby�mama.

We�need�more�space.

I�need�to�be�close.

Say�sorry,�bro.

Just�no�business! Your�bucket,�it's�stupid!

It's�stupid,�eh?�Yeah?

What...

If�she's�so�stupid, then�why�did�she�just�suggest

that�everyone�moves�in the�lodge�together.

Well,�that's�stupid�because...

...the�lodge,�it's�so�big...

and...�and�comfortable!

And�has�just�enough�space for�everybody.�Duh!

No,�shut�up,�Paul.

But�Agnes, you�want�to�sell�it.

Yeah!�Did�you�think�about�that, Bucket�Head?!

Wait,�it's�perfect!

I�keep�the�lodge, and�we�all�move�in!

Yeah!

Paul?

So,�in�this�scenario... I'm�still�good?

-�Yeah. -�Yeah.

Then�do�you�know�what?

I�owe�someone�an�apology.

Aww.

Mm-hmm.

Put�'er�there,�Bucket�Head.

Jo: Okay,�just�one�more.

Here�we�go!�Ah!

(groaning)

You�did�it! (gasping)

My�big�hungry�man. (chuckling)

(groaning)

-�I�love�you. -�Aww.

What's�up,�Roger?

It's�Elder�Roger.

And�I�think�the�ham�isn't�the only�thing�that�was�glazed�over.

What�nonsense�is�coming�out your�mouth?

She�told�you�something important,

and�you�need�to�validate�it.

Damn�it. Thanks,�Roger.

I�mean,�Elder�Roger.

Keep�an�eye�on�Cold�Hand�Logan here�for�me.

Sweetie�bird.

I�just�wanted�to�say

that�I�am�proud.

Like,�gay�proud.

Really?

Yeah!

That�was�so�brave�of�you,

to�say�what�you�did like�that.

In�front�of�our�whole�family like�that.

Didn't�seem�like�it.

(sighing)

I�just�never reacted�because...

I�always�trust your�decisions.

Except�when�you're�reversing toilets

or�making�up�fake�lottery tickets.

(laughing)

Thanks,�Ma.

You�know,�I�like�to�think of�myself�as�an�open-minded,

accepting�kind�of�person.

Like�a�dope�Mom.

Well,�that's�good, because�she's�a�Buttern,

and�I�know�you�hate the�Butterns,�so...

What?

No�daughter�of�mine�will�get mixed�up�with�a�Buttern!

I�don't�care�what�you�say!

I�like�her.

Great�news,�everyone.

We're�all�moving�into the�lodge�together.

Oh.

Wait.

Who�ate�all�the�meatballs?

Jo: It�was�Logan!

Impressive,�huh?

No,�it's�cool. No,�no.

No,�no,�I'm�not�going�to...

No,�b'eb,�it's�fine.

You�fucking�bastard!

(all�shouting)

?

Goodnight,�Paul.

Fuck�off,�Stephen�Harper!

Goodnight,�Rose.

Mmm.

And�goodnight,�Paul�Junior.

(baby�cooing)

I�love�you�guys.

Both:�We�love�you�too, Stephen�Harper.

(voices�distorting)

Stephen�Harper,�get�up! The�feast�is�over.

Oh,�my�Mom�announced�that everyone�gets�to�move

into�the�lodge,�except�for�you.

I�want�to�go�back!

?�She's�been�your�shelter from�the�storm�?

?�She's�even�there when�you're�all�alone�?

?�She's�the�one�you�run�to when�it�rains�?

?�And�you�build�your�dreams on�that�stone�?

?

?�She's�been�that�rock...�?

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