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1
00:00:08,725 --> 00:00:10,335
Aw, look at that.
2
00:00:10,509 --> 00:00:11,554
Such a good pop-pop.
3
00:00:11,684 --> 00:00:12,598
You want to give her
back to me now?
4
00:00:12,729 --> 00:00:14,209
Mm, I can't.
5
00:00:14,339 --> 00:00:16,080
Oh, I know, she's so sweet.
6
00:00:16,211 --> 00:00:17,690
No, no, I...
7
00:00:17,777 --> 00:00:19,866
I can't move my arms or my legs.
8
00:00:21,564 --> 00:00:22,695
Every part of me is asleep.
9
00:00:22,826 --> 00:00:24,045
I've been sitting here for--
10
00:00:24,132 --> 00:00:26,134
Well, I'd tell you,
11
00:00:26,264 --> 00:00:28,266
but I can't turn my head
to look at my watch.
12
00:00:28,397 --> 00:00:30,399
You want me
to crack your neck?
13
00:00:30,529 --> 00:00:31,922
No, no, don't touch me
that much--I'm just gonna get back here...
14
00:00:32,053 --> 00:00:33,445
Don't, don't-- oh!
15
00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:35,012
Oh! Oh!
16
00:00:35,143 --> 00:00:36,796
Whew! Oh!
17
00:00:36,927 --> 00:00:38,929
Oh, that was okay right there.
18
00:00:39,016 --> 00:00:40,539
Where'd you learn to do that?
19
00:00:40,670 --> 00:00:42,150
TikTok.
20
00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:44,108
I wasn't actually sure
if it would work.
21
00:00:45,153 --> 00:00:46,545
Ooh, wait a min-- Okay.
22
00:00:46,676 --> 00:00:48,939
Yeah, I'm starting to feel
a little life in my foot
23
00:00:49,113 --> 00:00:50,506
right there,
that's good.
24
00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:51,507
All right.
25
00:00:51,637 --> 00:00:52,986
Well,
26
00:00:53,117 --> 00:00:54,510
Malcolm is outside in the car,
27
00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:57,208
bidding a fond adieu
to Museum Girl.
28
00:00:57,339 --> 00:00:59,297
I mean fond, I'm talking...
29
00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:03,649
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
30
00:01:03,823 --> 00:01:04,868
Museum Girl.
31
00:01:06,957 --> 00:01:09,307
Ooh, ooh, Malcolm!
32
00:01:09,438 --> 00:01:11,570
Ooh!
33
00:01:11,701 --> 00:01:12,745
Ooh.
34
00:01:12,876 --> 00:01:15,183
Uh, would you like some time
35
00:01:15,357 --> 00:01:17,228
to be alone with yourself?
36
00:01:18,490 --> 00:01:20,492
I'd like to be dead.
37
00:01:20,623 --> 00:01:22,538
Okay, so, uh...
38
00:01:22,668 --> 00:01:24,366
who's Museum Girl?
39
00:01:24,496 --> 00:01:26,194
Oh, it's this new woman
Malcolm's been seeing,
40
00:01:26,324 --> 00:01:27,369
but he's being
super secretive about it.
41
00:01:27,499 --> 00:01:28,805
He won't even tell us her name.
42
00:01:28,892 --> 00:01:30,589
Yeah. But we do know
he met her at a museum.
43
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,200
Hence the sobriquet.
44
00:01:32,330 --> 00:01:33,679
Uh, say what now?
45
00:01:33,766 --> 00:01:35,290
Moniker.
46
00:01:36,769 --> 00:01:37,770
Nickname.
47
00:01:37,944 --> 00:01:39,294
Oh, okay.
48
00:01:40,686 --> 00:01:42,558
Well, if we know Malcolm,
49
00:01:42,645 --> 00:01:45,517
her nickname should
be "gone soon."
50
00:01:47,215 --> 00:01:49,173
What does that mean?
51
00:01:49,260 --> 00:01:51,001
Well, you see, Courtney,
52
00:01:51,132 --> 00:01:53,873
whenever Malcolm starts
to date someone seriously,
53
00:01:54,004 --> 00:01:57,573
he always comes up with a reason
to break up with her.
54
00:01:57,660 --> 00:02:00,315
You know, "Dad, she's great,
55
00:02:00,445 --> 00:02:03,187
but... she blinks too much."
56
00:02:04,710 --> 00:02:07,060
There is always a "but."
57
00:02:07,191 --> 00:02:10,325
Oh, one time,
the "but" was a flat butt.
58
00:02:10,455 --> 00:02:12,370
Which actually
made sense...
59
00:02:12,501 --> 00:02:13,719
That did make sense,
it made a lot of sense.
60
00:02:15,504 --> 00:02:16,722
Oh!
61
00:02:16,853 --> 00:02:18,202
Hi, Malcolm.
62
00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:19,943
Nice try, Courtney.
63
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:22,075
I saw you spying on us.
64
00:02:22,206 --> 00:02:23,642
I'm sorry.
65
00:02:23,729 --> 00:02:25,731
If it makes it any better,
I didn't see her face.
66
00:02:25,862 --> 00:02:27,603
'Cause your mouth was
all over it.
67
00:02:29,692 --> 00:02:31,955
Why are you keeping her
a secret, Malcolm?
68
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,478
Is she ugly?
69
00:02:33,609 --> 00:02:35,437
Is she missing a side tooth?
70
00:02:36,438 --> 00:02:38,962
She is beautiful, damn it, okay?
71
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:41,834
Her name is Angela,
and we get along great.
72
00:02:41,921 --> 00:02:44,489
She is smart, she is funny...
73
00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:46,926
But...
74
00:02:49,059 --> 00:02:51,540
There is no "but."
75
00:02:51,670 --> 00:02:53,759
Okay, okay, okay,
is there a "though"?
76
00:02:53,890 --> 00:02:55,848
Or a "however," or...
77
00:02:55,979 --> 00:02:57,763
"having said that"?
78
00:02:57,850 --> 00:02:59,635
That was the old me.
79
00:02:59,722 --> 00:03:01,811
But I have never dated
anyone like Angela.
80
00:03:01,941 --> 00:03:03,073
She is amazing.
81
00:03:03,204 --> 00:03:05,118
Look, check this out:
We just went
82
00:03:05,206 --> 00:03:06,903
to the Goya exhibit
at the Norton Simon,
83
00:03:07,033 --> 00:03:08,861
and she knew more
than the tour guide.
84
00:03:09,035 --> 00:03:11,124
Well, that's good, man.
85
00:03:11,212 --> 00:03:12,082
You know what?
I'm happy for you.
86
00:03:12,213 --> 00:03:13,475
Thank you, Pop.
87
00:03:13,605 --> 00:03:15,346
Yeah, your mom is going
to be thrilled.
88
00:03:15,433 --> 00:03:17,043
- Oh, no, no.
- No, no.
No, no, no, no.
89
00:03:20,046 --> 00:03:21,483
As soon as she finds out,
90
00:03:21,613 --> 00:03:23,049
she'll want to meet her,
she'll make a big fuss.
91
00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:24,399
She will scare her off.
92
00:03:24,529 --> 00:03:25,661
Yeah, she does
tend to go overboard.
93
00:03:25,791 --> 00:03:26,923
Overboard?
94
00:03:27,053 --> 00:03:28,011
She starts
underwater.
95
00:03:29,578 --> 00:03:31,928
Yeah, she can get
a little crazy, right?
96
00:03:32,972 --> 00:03:34,800
Hey, keep my mother's name
- out of your mouth!
- You know what?
97
00:03:34,974 --> 00:03:36,324
I don't know
who you think you are.
98
00:03:36,454 --> 00:03:37,847
I don't know who
you think you are,
99
00:03:37,977 --> 00:03:39,109
but that's a no up in here.
100
00:03:39,196 --> 00:03:40,763
- My bad.
- You don't talk about Tina.
101
00:03:40,893 --> 00:03:42,330
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
102
00:03:42,504 --> 00:03:43,766
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
103
00:03:48,727 --> 00:03:50,294
I got to say, Marty,
104
00:03:50,468 --> 00:03:52,601
you did a nice job getting
Daphne dressed this morning.
105
00:03:52,688 --> 00:03:54,733
She's even got
the right kind of diaper on.
106
00:03:54,864 --> 00:03:57,258
You may also notice
it is not on backwards.
107
00:03:57,432 --> 00:03:58,781
Or sideways.
108
00:03:59,999 --> 00:04:02,437
I still don't know
how he managed to do that.
109
00:04:02,567 --> 00:04:04,700
Those diapers had
a very counterintuitive design!
110
00:04:06,267 --> 00:04:07,659
Hey.
111
00:04:08,878 --> 00:04:10,227
Ooh!
112
00:04:10,358 --> 00:04:12,795
Divine, simply divine.
113
00:04:12,882 --> 00:04:15,450
- Oh, that's beautiful, babe.
- Yeah, that's the one, Mama.
114
00:04:15,580 --> 00:04:18,191
I don't know,
it's for Daphne's christening.
115
00:04:18,322 --> 00:04:20,063
You know,
I want something that says,
116
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:21,934
"I'm the grandmother,
but I can still
117
00:04:22,108 --> 00:04:23,371
read without my glasses."
118
00:04:24,894 --> 00:04:26,548
But you can't though.
119
00:04:26,722 --> 00:04:29,290
I know, Calvin, that's why
I want the dress to say it.
120
00:04:30,726 --> 00:04:32,815
- Hey, hey, everybody.
- Oh, hey, Malcolm.
121
00:04:32,989 --> 00:04:34,730
Amazon for Mama.
122
00:04:34,904 --> 00:04:37,298
Please tell me
that's not more dresses.
123
00:04:37,428 --> 00:04:39,604
No, it's not dresses.
124
00:04:39,735 --> 00:04:43,042
It's the baby stuff that
I subscribe to on Amazon.
125
00:04:43,173 --> 00:04:45,088
Because Marty doesn't know
what he's doing.
126
00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:49,310
Like when he bought
the sideways diapers.
127
00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:52,530
Hey, guys.
128
00:04:52,704 --> 00:04:54,576
Oh, hey, Gemma.
129
00:04:58,449 --> 00:05:00,669
He's mad about the evite.
130
00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:02,714
I'm not mad.
131
00:05:03,759 --> 00:05:06,109
I'm just disappointed.
132
00:05:07,153 --> 00:05:08,590
Uh, I didn't get
an evite.
133
00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:10,548
Uh, yes, you did get an evite,
you did.
134
00:05:10,722 --> 00:05:12,289
You see, the funny thing
about an evite is
135
00:05:12,376 --> 00:05:13,986
it tells you
when someone opens it.
136
00:05:14,117 --> 00:05:15,988
And you all opened it.
137
00:05:17,468 --> 00:05:18,861
- Oh, oh, that-that evite.
- Yeah, right.
138
00:05:19,035 --> 00:05:20,558
- That one.
- Yes.
139
00:05:20,732 --> 00:05:22,865
He's very excited for his party,
140
00:05:22,995 --> 00:05:25,258
because it has kombucha
and bocce ball.
141
00:05:25,346 --> 00:05:27,522
Or as we like
to call them,
142
00:05:27,652 --> 00:05:29,785
"Booch and Botch."
143
00:05:29,915 --> 00:05:31,134
All right, you know what, Dave?
144
00:05:31,308 --> 00:05:33,049
We'll come, uh, we'll all come.
145
00:05:33,179 --> 00:05:34,006
Okay.
All right?
146
00:05:34,137 --> 00:05:35,486
Ooh!
147
00:05:35,573 --> 00:05:37,662
I say yes to that dress.
148
00:05:37,793 --> 00:05:38,750
Oh, I love it.
149
00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,012
It's perfect.
150
00:05:40,143 --> 00:05:41,840
Oh, yeah, perf. Totes perf.
151
00:05:43,146 --> 00:05:44,321
No, I-I don't know,
don't you think
152
00:05:44,452 --> 00:05:46,367
it's a little flashy
for a christening?
153
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:55,506
Excuse me?
154
00:05:56,507 --> 00:05:57,900
Uh, Gemma, a little help here?
155
00:05:57,987 --> 00:06:00,468
Mm-mm. Don't put me in this.
156
00:06:01,425 --> 00:06:02,557
Why do you hate it?
157
00:06:02,687 --> 00:06:03,993
Or is it
that you hate your mother?
158
00:06:04,123 --> 00:06:05,255
Do you not want me
to come?
159
00:06:05,386 --> 00:06:06,648
Is this how you disinvite me?!
160
00:06:06,778 --> 00:06:08,345
Malcolm has
a serious girlfriend!
161
00:06:08,476 --> 00:06:10,303
What?!
162
00:06:11,392 --> 00:06:12,958
Oh, wow.
163
00:06:13,089 --> 00:06:15,134
Marty, that's cold.
164
00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,615
We are no longer brothers.
165
00:06:19,182 --> 00:06:21,402
Malcolm, is that true?
166
00:06:21,489 --> 00:06:22,751
Mama, Mama, look,
just calm down, okay?
167
00:06:22,838 --> 00:06:24,274
It's only been a month.
168
00:06:24,405 --> 00:06:25,580
Ooh, let's set up a dinner!
169
00:06:25,754 --> 00:06:27,016
What does she like to eat?
170
00:06:27,146 --> 00:06:28,321
Does she have any allergies?
171
00:06:28,452 --> 00:06:29,627
You know what,
I can just call her.
172
00:06:30,976 --> 00:06:32,369
Tina, I got it.
173
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:33,718
The Booch and Botch party
tomorrow night.
174
00:06:33,849 --> 00:06:35,154
You know what, Malcolm,
175
00:06:35,285 --> 00:06:36,199
I'm gonna put you down
for a plus-one.
176
00:06:36,373 --> 00:06:37,766
Oh, perfect!
177
00:06:37,896 --> 00:06:38,810
Thank you, Dave.
178
00:06:38,984 --> 00:06:40,159
This is so exciting.
Okay.
179
00:06:40,290 --> 00:06:41,900
Two more dresses.
180
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,340
- Hey, Marty?
- Yeah?
181
00:06:47,428 --> 00:06:49,734
- Run.
- Okay.
182
00:06:53,477 --> 00:06:56,088
Ooh, great shot.
183
00:06:56,262 --> 00:06:58,830
You know, Dave,
I don't get this kombucha.
184
00:06:59,004 --> 00:07:00,528
There's no alcohol in it?
185
00:07:00,615 --> 00:07:02,617
It-it just tastes bad?
186
00:07:03,574 --> 00:07:05,228
Dave, mine is great.
187
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,578
Well, I'm glad
some people appreciate it.
188
00:07:09,754 --> 00:07:11,539
I poured mine out.
This is pinot.
189
00:07:11,669 --> 00:07:13,236
- Hook a brother up.
- Okay.
190
00:07:15,281 --> 00:07:16,544
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
191
00:07:16,631 --> 00:07:19,721
They just pulled up,
and guess what?
192
00:07:19,895 --> 00:07:22,419
Angela is really great
at parallel parking.
193
00:07:23,202 --> 00:07:24,421
Hey, everybody.
194
00:07:24,552 --> 00:07:25,422
This is--
195
00:07:25,553 --> 00:07:27,729
Angela!
196
00:07:28,686 --> 00:07:32,081
Ooh, oh, my goodness,
I love your outfit.
197
00:07:32,211 --> 00:07:34,344
And your hair
and that jewelry.
198
00:07:34,475 --> 00:07:35,824
I just love you.
199
00:07:35,954 --> 00:07:37,565
Aw, that's so nice.
200
00:07:37,652 --> 00:07:39,001
Well, that's me.
I'm nice.
201
00:07:39,131 --> 00:07:40,219
You're gonna love me.
202
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:42,134
Uh, Pop?
203
00:07:42,265 --> 00:07:43,701
Yeah, I got this.
Uh, hey, uh...
204
00:07:43,875 --> 00:07:45,747
Um, nice to meet you.
I'm Malcolm's dad.
205
00:07:45,877 --> 00:07:48,532
Tina, Tina, Tina,
come on, babe, we--
206
00:07:48,706 --> 00:07:50,142
we need you
to take it down a notch.
207
00:07:51,187 --> 00:07:54,843
Calvin, Marty's about to see
his baby be christened, okay?
208
00:07:54,973 --> 00:07:58,411
And I have yet to see either
of my babies married.
209
00:07:58,542 --> 00:08:01,110
Let me speak this
into existence.
210
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:03,765
You're about to speak her
back into the car.
211
00:08:05,549 --> 00:08:07,682
I cannot tell you how excited
212
00:08:07,812 --> 00:08:09,901
I am to finally meet you.
213
00:08:10,075 --> 00:08:12,513
Ooh! I know what we can to do.
214
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,472
My other son Marty has
the cutest little baby.
215
00:08:15,646 --> 00:08:17,866
Marty!
216
00:08:17,996 --> 00:08:19,607
Wave to Angela.
217
00:08:22,218 --> 00:08:24,699
Yeah, I don't know
if Malcolm told you,
218
00:08:24,873 --> 00:08:27,440
but she's gonna be
christened Sunday.
219
00:08:27,571 --> 00:08:29,355
We would love
for you to come.
220
00:08:29,486 --> 00:08:30,705
I would love that.
221
00:08:30,835 --> 00:08:32,097
I've never been
to a christening.
222
00:08:32,228 --> 00:08:33,229
Oh, it's so fun.
223
00:08:33,359 --> 00:08:34,447
Oh, and you're gonna
love my outfit.
224
00:08:34,578 --> 00:08:36,449
It's a little bit
of Gayle King,
225
00:08:36,580 --> 00:08:38,277
with a splash
of Olivia Pope,
226
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:40,323
and a hint
of "Housewife Reunion."
227
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:42,107
Atlanta not Potomac.
228
00:08:43,544 --> 00:08:44,893
All right,
I'm not familiar.
229
00:08:45,023 --> 00:08:46,590
Oh, you know.
230
00:08:46,721 --> 00:08:48,636
The most stylish
Black women on TV.
231
00:08:48,723 --> 00:08:50,072
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
232
00:08:50,159 --> 00:08:51,029
I don't have a TV.
233
00:08:51,116 --> 00:08:52,335
What?
234
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:53,554
It's such a time suck.
235
00:08:53,728 --> 00:08:55,860
Empty calories for
the mind, you know?
236
00:08:55,947 --> 00:08:57,340
Oh, well...
237
00:08:57,427 --> 00:08:59,081
I don't watch
that much TV anyway.
238
00:09:00,909 --> 00:09:02,171
I'm really more
of a book girl.
Ooh.
239
00:09:02,301 --> 00:09:04,869
My grandma always called
TV the "idiot box."
240
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,958
I love your top.
241
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:08,438
Thank you.
242
00:09:08,525 --> 00:09:09,744
I go thrifting, too.
243
00:09:13,443 --> 00:09:15,010
- That's your little one?
- Mm-hmm.
244
00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:16,707
So precious!
245
00:09:16,838 --> 00:09:18,404
Yeah, that's my baby girl.
246
00:09:18,535 --> 00:09:20,406
And in her little
princess onesie.
247
00:09:20,537 --> 00:09:22,147
Smart, better
she know now
248
00:09:22,234 --> 00:09:24,193
she'll be living in a
patriarchy her whole life.
249
00:09:26,804 --> 00:09:29,590
Wow, a principal at
a private school?
250
00:09:29,764 --> 00:09:31,026
My seventh year.
251
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,810
I hope you don't listen
when people say
252
00:09:32,897 --> 00:09:35,204
you're just perpetuating
a two-tiered educational system.
253
00:09:37,336 --> 00:09:39,904
I'm not saying kombucha
doesn't improve gut health.
254
00:09:39,991 --> 00:09:42,994
I'm just asking,
who wants us to believe that?
255
00:09:43,168 --> 00:09:45,649
The people who've made it
their life's work
256
00:09:45,780 --> 00:09:47,738
to study
stomach microbiomes?
257
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,436
I'm just saying...
258
00:09:50,567 --> 00:09:51,829
follow the money.
259
00:09:53,570 --> 00:09:56,181
Hey, I hate to
interrupt you two,
260
00:09:56,268 --> 00:09:57,487
but I come bearing
kombucha.
261
00:09:57,574 --> 00:09:58,923
Thanks.
262
00:09:59,010 --> 00:10:01,230
Your friend Dave has been
telling me all about it.
263
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:04,015
Oh, well, I have
come to save you.
264
00:10:06,191 --> 00:10:07,584
Save her?
265
00:10:14,069 --> 00:10:16,506
You sure I can't
help you clean up?
266
00:10:16,637 --> 00:10:17,812
Oh, no, we got this. Thanks.
267
00:10:17,942 --> 00:10:21,206
All right, well, it was
so nice to meet you all.
268
00:10:21,337 --> 00:10:23,295
- Bye-bye.
- Bye, y'all.
269
00:10:27,125 --> 00:10:28,518
Ain't she great?
270
00:10:30,259 --> 00:10:32,740
I love the way she just says
whatever's on her mind.
271
00:10:34,089 --> 00:10:37,570
Her fearlessness
is just so inspiring.
272
00:10:37,658 --> 00:10:41,052
Yeah, I see all your teeth,
- man. That's a good sign.
- She's... pretty.
273
00:10:41,139 --> 00:10:42,837
Okay.
274
00:10:45,056 --> 00:10:46,884
You know what? Good for Malcolm.
275
00:10:47,015 --> 00:10:48,756
You know,
not long ago,
276
00:10:48,886 --> 00:10:51,236
he would have been searching for
something wrong with that lady.
277
00:10:51,367 --> 00:10:54,326
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, Angela's great.
278
00:10:54,457 --> 00:10:55,458
Yeah. So great.
279
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:56,720
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
280
00:10:56,894 --> 00:10:59,114
- Really, really great.
- Yeah.
281
00:10:59,244 --> 00:11:00,985
But is she great?
282
00:11:01,116 --> 00:11:02,334
Ooh.
283
00:11:02,465 --> 00:11:04,119
Uh, guys,
284
00:11:04,249 --> 00:11:05,947
uh...
285
00:11:06,121 --> 00:11:07,252
she sucks.
286
00:11:07,383 --> 00:11:09,037
Dave!
Ugh.
287
00:11:09,167 --> 00:11:10,429
Dave.
288
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:12,344
You shouldn't say that.
You can think that--
289
00:11:12,475 --> 00:11:14,651
I was thinking it--
but you shouldn't say it.
290
00:11:14,782 --> 00:11:17,654
Well, it had to be said.
She's a booch hater.
291
00:11:17,785 --> 00:11:19,438
And she hates princesses.
292
00:11:19,569 --> 00:11:21,484
She called my school "elitist."
293
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:23,051
- She said that?
- She didn't say it,
294
00:11:23,181 --> 00:11:25,923
she said "people" say it,
but I know she's "people."
295
00:11:26,054 --> 00:11:27,708
Yeah.
296
00:11:27,838 --> 00:11:29,361
I knew there was something
wrong with that girl.
297
00:11:29,492 --> 00:11:31,233
Who doesn't like TV?
298
00:11:33,278 --> 00:11:35,454
You know what? I'm taking
her off the evite list.
299
00:11:35,585 --> 00:11:36,847
- Yeah.
- That's it.
300
00:11:37,718 --> 00:11:39,632
Oh, boy.
301
00:11:41,417 --> 00:11:43,462
What did you do?
302
00:11:43,593 --> 00:11:45,551
I invited her to
Daphne's christening.
303
00:11:45,726 --> 00:11:47,162
Oh, God, no!
304
00:11:47,292 --> 00:11:50,165
I know. What was I thinking?
305
00:11:50,339 --> 00:11:52,254
Well,
306
00:11:52,384 --> 00:11:54,647
maybe Angela's not that bad.
307
00:11:54,778 --> 00:11:55,779
Maybe she was just nervous.
308
00:11:55,953 --> 00:11:58,216
There's a lot of us
and one of her.
309
00:11:58,390 --> 00:12:00,131
Yeah-- and, look,
and Malcolm's smart.
310
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:02,786
You know? I'm sure he sees
something that we don't see.
311
00:12:02,873 --> 00:12:05,833
You know, great qualities
underneath all the...
312
00:12:05,963 --> 00:12:08,096
terrible qualities
that we've seen.
313
00:12:10,402 --> 00:12:12,404
Yeah. Everybody
has good and bad.
314
00:12:12,535 --> 00:12:14,450
With every relationship,
you have to put up
315
00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:16,365
with little annoyances
about your partner.
316
00:12:16,539 --> 00:12:18,236
God knows we have them.
317
00:12:18,323 --> 00:12:20,108
Yeah.
318
00:12:24,329 --> 00:12:25,461
"We..."
319
00:12:25,591 --> 00:12:27,419
meaning "us"?
320
00:12:33,817 --> 00:12:34,992
No.
321
00:12:37,995 --> 00:12:40,606
Okay-- what exactly
about me annoys you?
322
00:12:40,781 --> 00:12:42,391
I shouldn't have
said "annoying."
323
00:12:42,521 --> 00:12:43,696
Uh, but you did.
324
00:12:43,827 --> 00:12:45,568
So, please,
325
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,265
tell me what I do
that annoys you.
326
00:12:47,352 --> 00:12:50,225
And be specif.
327
00:12:50,355 --> 00:12:52,140
That.
328
00:12:52,270 --> 00:12:53,489
What?
329
00:12:53,619 --> 00:12:54,707
Shortening words for no reason.
330
00:12:54,795 --> 00:12:56,579
Just say "specific."
331
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,059
Yeah, but it saves time
and it's cool.
332
00:12:58,233 --> 00:12:59,974
You know what?
You're being totes ridic.
333
00:13:00,104 --> 00:13:01,889
Oh.
334
00:13:02,063 --> 00:13:05,631
I'm the one who sounds
totally ridiculous?
335
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:07,111
Oh. Oh, did you see that?
336
00:13:07,242 --> 00:13:09,810
That right there--
that just took forever.
337
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,427
What is up, Calvin and Tina?
338
00:13:18,557 --> 00:13:20,690
It is lovely to see you.
339
00:13:20,777 --> 00:13:22,735
- Oh, come on, Dave.
- Oh.
340
00:13:22,866 --> 00:13:25,390
I am surprised that
you do not like this.
341
00:13:26,914 --> 00:13:28,916
Uh, Dave, why are you
talking like that?
342
00:13:29,003 --> 00:13:30,569
Oh, well, it was
brought to my attention
343
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:32,267
that I am known
for truncating words
344
00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:34,922
in a way that Gemma Johnson
345
00:13:35,096 --> 00:13:37,098
finds unattractive.
346
00:13:37,228 --> 00:13:38,882
Like when you said Daphne
347
00:13:39,013 --> 00:13:40,753
was "adorbs"?
Mm.
348
00:13:40,928 --> 00:13:42,538
That is correct.
349
00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:45,149
So now I am only
using full words
350
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:46,803
with Gemma Johnson
351
00:13:46,977 --> 00:13:48,805
in the hopes
of increasing my odds
352
00:13:48,936 --> 00:13:51,242
of sexual intercourse.
353
00:13:52,287 --> 00:13:54,332
Those odds are
plummeting, David.
354
00:13:55,943 --> 00:13:58,510
Hey, hey, everybody.
355
00:13:58,641 --> 00:14:01,209
Oh, this is so nice.
356
00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:02,732
Hi, Malcolm. Um...
357
00:14:02,863 --> 00:14:04,603
that's a new look.
358
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,956
Why the hell does my
son have on a purse?
359
00:14:09,130 --> 00:14:11,088
I got him a man-bag.
360
00:14:11,175 --> 00:14:13,134
His look needed some updating.
361
00:14:14,004 --> 00:14:15,963
Boy, are your toes
out in church?
362
00:14:17,834 --> 00:14:19,836
Uh, yes, Pop.
363
00:14:19,967 --> 00:14:22,186
Angela got me thinking
when she asked,
364
00:14:22,317 --> 00:14:25,363
"Why are we hiding our feet
from God? He made them."
365
00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:28,758
Well, isn't Angela just
full of good questions?
366
00:14:31,108 --> 00:14:32,849
Yeah, Angela's full of...
367
00:14:32,980 --> 00:14:35,069
Uh, Tina-- church.
368
00:14:36,766 --> 00:14:37,941
Would you listen to them?
369
00:14:38,072 --> 00:14:40,030
Makes me glad
we're not a couple.
370
00:14:40,161 --> 00:14:42,119
Don't worry,
we would never be a couple.
371
00:14:44,643 --> 00:14:46,471
Boy, you hit that "never"
pretty hard.
372
00:14:49,257 --> 00:14:51,172
Why have we not started?
373
00:14:51,302 --> 00:14:53,261
It is three of the clock.
374
00:14:57,221 --> 00:15:00,181
Oh. We should take our seats.
375
00:15:03,184 --> 00:15:05,926
We should take our seats.
376
00:15:06,056 --> 00:15:08,058
I mean, how is she
gonna tell us when to sit
377
00:15:08,189 --> 00:15:09,625
at our own grandbaby's
christening?
378
00:15:09,712 --> 00:15:12,106
Right? I mean, she got
some nerve, right?
379
00:15:12,236 --> 00:15:14,369
We gonna sit down
when we want to sit.
380
00:15:14,499 --> 00:15:16,110
Ain't nobody gonna tell us... When we want to sit
is when we sit.
381
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:17,807
- ...when we sit. Not a word.
- Nobody tell us when to sit.
382
00:15:17,894 --> 00:15:20,027
We should probably
- go sit, though.
- Yeah, we should sit.
383
00:15:22,159 --> 00:15:25,902
Welcome, everyone,
to this most blessed occasion.
384
00:15:26,076 --> 00:15:29,297
Will the parents of Daphne Luna
Pridgeon-Butler come up,
385
00:15:29,427 --> 00:15:31,995
- along with the godparents?
- All right.
386
00:15:34,171 --> 00:15:35,433
Oh, no.
387
00:15:35,564 --> 00:15:36,826
Where does she think she going?
388
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,046
No... Where does she think she...
389
00:15:40,786 --> 00:15:42,484
Angela.
390
00:15:43,615 --> 00:15:45,617
Hello.
391
00:15:45,704 --> 00:15:47,271
What is Museum Girl
- doing up here?
- I am not responsible for her.
392
00:15:47,445 --> 00:15:49,317
- She's here with your brother.
- She's just gonna accuse me
393
00:15:49,447 --> 00:15:51,188
- of being part of the patriarchy!
- You better make her leave.
394
00:15:51,319 --> 00:15:53,277
If we may begin?
395
00:15:53,408 --> 00:15:54,670
We may.
396
00:15:56,454 --> 00:15:57,716
Dearly beloved,
397
00:15:57,847 --> 00:15:59,327
we gather today to welcome
398
00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:02,286
a child of God into the fold.
399
00:16:02,417 --> 00:16:05,855
This child has been born
in baptism,
400
00:16:05,986 --> 00:16:08,553
and she is now called
a child of God.
401
00:16:08,727 --> 00:16:10,468
And so, indeed she is.
402
00:16:10,599 --> 00:16:12,470
The confirmation...
403
00:16:12,601 --> 00:16:14,342
My dear brothers and sisters,
404
00:16:14,429 --> 00:16:17,301
let us ask our Lord
to look lovingly on this child
405
00:16:17,388 --> 00:16:20,696
who is to baptized,
from her parents and godparents
406
00:16:20,870 --> 00:16:23,481
and on all the baptized.
407
00:16:23,568 --> 00:16:27,007
We look upon this baby
in wonder and love,
408
00:16:27,137 --> 00:16:29,313
but now I ask you to
look at one another.
409
00:16:29,444 --> 00:16:31,533
Because you all are examples
to this innocent soul.
410
00:16:31,663 --> 00:16:33,013
Yes, we are.
411
00:16:33,143 --> 00:16:35,145
This is the best day of my life.
412
00:16:35,319 --> 00:16:37,017
And let her remind us
of the joy
413
00:16:37,147 --> 00:16:40,107
we can feel when we look
past our petty differences
414
00:16:40,281 --> 00:16:42,674
and rejoice in Your glory.
415
00:16:46,026 --> 00:16:48,158
What?
416
00:16:57,994 --> 00:17:00,127
Gemma, I'm so sorry
I was a jerk.
417
00:17:00,214 --> 00:17:02,520
Life is too short
and it's too precious.
418
00:17:02,651 --> 00:17:04,914
Ugh, it's totes presh.
419
00:17:07,482 --> 00:17:09,571
I'm sorry about
the "never" thing.
420
00:17:09,701 --> 00:17:12,704
Of all the people I could have
had an illegitimate baby with,
421
00:17:12,835 --> 00:17:15,142
I'm glad I did it with you.
422
00:17:15,316 --> 00:17:16,882
So am I.
423
00:17:17,013 --> 00:17:20,016
Will all of you assembled
here promise to guide Daphne
424
00:17:20,190 --> 00:17:23,759
to the path of righteousness,
purpose and prosperity?
425
00:17:23,846 --> 00:17:24,934
- Oh, yes.
- Yes, sir.
Yes, we will.
426
00:17:25,108 --> 00:17:27,284
Hundo P.
427
00:17:29,591 --> 00:17:32,420
Okay, people, if we can
all gather over here?
428
00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:33,638
Oh.
429
00:17:35,945 --> 00:17:37,468
You got her, baby?
430
00:17:39,470 --> 00:17:42,169
No. No.
431
00:17:43,866 --> 00:17:45,476
Angela cannot be
in this photo.
432
00:17:45,607 --> 00:17:48,914
The photo that's gonna be
over our fireplace forever?
433
00:17:49,045 --> 00:17:50,307
All right, let me
think, let me think.
434
00:17:50,438 --> 00:17:51,700
Okay, everybody!
435
00:17:51,830 --> 00:17:54,094
Tall people in the back.
436
00:17:54,224 --> 00:17:56,705
Angela, you stand
to the right over here.
437
00:17:56,792 --> 00:17:58,620
Okay, here we go.
438
00:17:58,750 --> 00:17:59,751
Okay, everyone, look right here.
439
00:17:59,882 --> 00:18:02,624
One, two, three.
440
00:18:03,538 --> 00:18:05,105
Looks great.
441
00:18:05,235 --> 00:18:07,455
Okay, we're gonna do another.
Okay, uh, g--
442
00:18:07,585 --> 00:18:08,412
well, hold on, hold on, hold on.
443
00:18:08,543 --> 00:18:09,979
Uh, Angela?
444
00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:11,589
- Yeah?
- Why don't we scooch you
445
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,288
- right back here?
- Okay.
446
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,945
Okay. One, two, three.
447
00:18:23,427 --> 00:18:25,342
You have got to be kidding me.
448
00:18:25,473 --> 00:18:27,605
- C-Can you give us a minute?
- Give us, give us a minute.
449
00:18:27,692 --> 00:18:29,346
Just give us a minute.
450
00:18:29,477 --> 00:18:32,828
You know what? It is time
to rip the Band-Aid off.
451
00:18:32,958 --> 00:18:34,308
- Yeah.
- Malcolm?
452
00:18:34,438 --> 00:18:36,571
Can I talk to you for
a minute over here?
453
00:18:36,701 --> 00:18:37,920
- Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, come on.
454
00:18:39,574 --> 00:18:41,228
Hey, sure thing. What's up, Pop?
455
00:18:41,358 --> 00:18:43,143
Hey, look, uh, Malcolm,
you know what?
456
00:18:43,317 --> 00:18:46,711
Your mother and I, we are
very, very, very proud of you.
457
00:18:46,885 --> 00:18:51,107
You have put in a lot
of good work on yourself,
458
00:18:51,238 --> 00:18:53,283
and it's just great to see you
459
00:18:53,457 --> 00:18:56,068
in a committed
relationship, you know?
460
00:18:56,199 --> 00:18:58,810
Oh. Thank you, Pop.
461
00:18:58,897 --> 00:19:01,813
But what the hell
are you doing?
462
00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,338
Excuse me?
463
00:19:04,468 --> 00:19:06,078
Look, I-I don't know
how to put this--
464
00:19:06,253 --> 00:19:07,732
there's no other
way to say it.
465
00:19:07,906 --> 00:19:09,734
I can't sugarcoat it,
I can't salt-pinch it--
466
00:19:09,908 --> 00:19:12,215
it's just that we
don't like Angela.
467
00:19:13,738 --> 00:19:14,826
Really?
468
00:19:14,957 --> 00:19:17,264
You... Mm-mm.
469
00:19:19,048 --> 00:19:19,614
Why?
470
00:19:19,788 --> 00:19:20,745
I mean, it's just...
471
00:19:20,876 --> 00:19:22,269
everything that she says
472
00:19:22,443 --> 00:19:23,966
and-and she does and...
473
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:26,621
just pretty much her
whole personality.
474
00:19:26,751 --> 00:19:28,710
Wow.
475
00:19:28,797 --> 00:19:31,582
Look, I'm sorry, because I
know this is what you wanted,
476
00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:33,671
that you really,
really like her...
477
00:19:33,802 --> 00:19:35,020
No, I don't.
478
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,457
I mean,
I thought I did at first,
479
00:19:36,587 --> 00:19:38,546
but once I got to know her...
480
00:19:38,676 --> 00:19:40,678
Ooh, she is awful.
481
00:19:42,202 --> 00:19:45,422
You know, I just thought it was
me finding excuses again, Pop.
482
00:19:45,553 --> 00:19:46,989
I've been trying
so hard to mature
483
00:19:47,163 --> 00:19:47,990
and hang in there
with Angela,
484
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,122
even though things
aren't perfect.
485
00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:51,907
You know, I just want
what you and Mama have.
486
00:19:52,037 --> 00:19:53,952
And you'll have it, son.
487
00:19:54,083 --> 00:19:55,476
With somebody else, though.
488
00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:59,175
Anybody else.
489
00:20:00,176 --> 00:20:02,396
Look-- ugh, Malcolm, I'm sorry,
490
00:20:02,526 --> 00:20:05,790
I guess I'm partly responsible
why Angela is here.
491
00:20:05,877 --> 00:20:07,314
Partly?
492
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,100
It's okay, Mama.
493
00:20:11,231 --> 00:20:13,537
- I guess I know what I got to do.
- All right?
494
00:20:13,668 --> 00:20:16,323
Do it, and then get rid
of that damn scarf
495
00:20:16,410 --> 00:20:18,325
so we can take this
family picture.
496
00:20:19,108 --> 00:20:20,022
I'm on it.
497
00:20:20,109 --> 00:20:22,067
Hey, Angela? Hey.
498
00:20:22,198 --> 00:20:23,504
Can we talk outside
for a minute?
499
00:20:23,634 --> 00:20:24,940
Please.
500
00:20:25,114 --> 00:20:26,985
Smells like mold in here.
501
00:20:29,336 --> 00:20:30,989
Hold this.
502
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:34,210
You know what?
503
00:20:34,341 --> 00:20:35,690
I think I'm gonna
go out there, too.
504
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,648
I just need to talk to Angela.
505
00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:39,128
Just some things
that I need to say
506
00:20:39,259 --> 00:20:40,434
that I can't say
in this damn church.
507
00:20:40,564 --> 00:20:41,826
No, Tina. No, no, Tina, no.
508
00:20:41,957 --> 00:20:44,612
No, no, no.
Tina, don't you try. Hey.
509
00:20:44,699 --> 00:20:45,743
I need a press.
I need a full press right here.
510
00:20:49,356 --> 00:20:51,401
Moth...
511
00:20:53,055 --> 00:20:54,317
Ugh, get her.
512
00:20:54,404 --> 00:20:56,363
- Get her!
- Put me down!
513
00:21:01,281 --> 00:21:04,022
Captioning sponsored by
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514
00:21:04,109 --> 00:21:06,982
and TOYOTA.
515
00:21:07,156 --> 00:21:10,377
Captioned by
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