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Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

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Hi, I'm jayne Mansfield.

For the next couple of hours,

I'd like you to come along with me.

I want you to share some of the wild,

way-out experiences I had during my last trip

around the world.

I loved Rome.

My trip started at the famous Spanish steps,

built by olivares 500 years ago.

And what do you think they're most used for?

That's right, a place where lovers meet.

By day, the tourists stand around,

hoping to see movie stars.

By night, the Roman lovers come out, ready for,

well, you know what happens

when night and lovers get together.

When I started walking down the steps,

there were all these dark-eyed Italian men.

Some of them were yelling things out at me.

Maybe it was a good thing I didn't speak Italian.

Who can resist Rome?

The men are all handsome,

and the ancient buildings are so beautiful!

There's no other city like it in the world.

I still had hoards of admires following me

when I saw the fountain of trevi.

Oh, what a masterpiece!

This is the most famous fountain in Europe,

in the world, even!

From the first time it was built,

people have thrown coins in this fountain for good luck.

Also, the legend is that if you throw a coin

into the fountain, you'll return to Rome.

This nice stranger gave me three coins.

I wish for a handsome man to cuddle me

and to love me.

I wish the world will never forget me and always love me.

I wish, I wish that the legend was true,

and I would soon come back to Rome.

As I signed all those autographs,

I hoped my wishes would all come true.

I headed for the via veneto.

This is the most famous street in all of Italy.

Here's where the tourists will see the movie stars

from all over.

Here's where Dukes and counts

and the ladies of the night all mingle.

It's a street where you can get anything you want,

any hour of the day and night.

I soon found out it's also the street

where the men have hand problems.

There was this fat guy breathing so hard,

he drowned out the car horns.

Out of the side of my eye,

I noticed him staring at my backside.

Suddenly, ouch!

He pinched me!

It hurt too.

Then, I remembered

that this was the Italian national pastime, pinching girls.

Every girl was fair game.

This time, I was tagged it.

I had to get out of there fast.

Ouch!

A kind stranger grabbed my hand and we took off.

Here it was, only a few minutes before two in the afternoon,

and the wolves were on the prowl.

No wonder Italy never gets anything done!

The men are all too busy watching the girls.

I don't know what you men see in girls

that takes so much of your time.

After all, once you've seen a girl, isn't that enough?

I mean, we all have the same features.

But down there, on that warm day in Rome,

the girls in their miniskirts and tight sweaters,

Well, they had the Italians goggle-eyed.

There's a girl who's prepared.

Serves him right.

Serves him right too.

After all, he has a fine-looking wife.

Isn't one woman enough?

The paparazzi, the nightmare of Rome.

These pests make a living from photographing celebrities.

They're absolute madmen when trying to get a picture.

These gangs of street photographers

have been known to do terrible things.

Once, they surrounded a starlet, and ripped her clothes off.

Then they sold the photos of her,

saying she walked the via veneto naked for kicks.

So you can see why we movie stars hate the paparazzi.

Poor Ava gardner, Anita Ekberg, Liz and Eddie,

Audrey hepburn, she never wants to come back to Rome.

I made it to my hotel, safe at last.

Then I had to laugh.

It was photographs which made me famous,

and now, I was running from these characters.

I picked up a copy of playboy.

It was the issue everyone was talking about.

It was hard finding this magazine in Rome.

The government had banned it.

I had a friend get one for me from the black market.

I certainly was glad to see such terrific publicity.

What was all the fuss about it, I wondered.

There's nothing wrong.

What a view!

You just don't know how wonderful it is

to be so many thousands of miles from home

and be recognized by so many people.

Roma, there's no place like roma.

Guido, my guide at the forum,

told me that on this very spot, brutus killed poor Caesar.

After all, Caesar was very close to brutus.

It wasn't fair that he was stabbed in the back by his buddy.

Was my face red!

Those girls!

They're taking off their dresses!

Guido told me it's one of the most famous sites in Rome.

This is where the working girls change their clothes

after work for their evening dates.

Women do things differently here.

Even in Hollywood, you wouldn't see anything like this.

At least, not among the ruins.

"Oh, Caesar," I thought.

What would you say if you could see what's going on now?

Hmm, come to think of it,

Caesar was an Italian.

He'd probably grab a pair of binoculars

and join in the fun.

How did he get in here?

He's wondering too.

I decided to see the wonderful colosseum.

I'd seen many pictures of that famous place,

where the early christians were torn to shreds

by wild animals.

Strange, in the very city where the ancient christians

were murdered by romans, the center of christianity grew up.

Walking outside the still-standing ruins,

I thought about the stories of the ancient orgies

which took place after the games.

The spectators would get all worked up

after seeing the killings.

The only way they could calm down

was to go on a drinking and sex binge.

Saturday night in old Rome

must have been just the living end.

I'm glad I wasn't around then.

I looked up at the now silent bleachers.

The echoes of 2,000 years seemed to fill the colosseum.

I could hear the roar of the crowd.

Stand your ground, men!

Suddenly, I was part of a great spectacle

taking place over 2,000 years ago.

Before me, magically, in some kind of unbreakable trance,

ancient Rome awakened.

Oh, it was majestic in all its splendor!

And the gladiators those days were unbelievably strong.

They could practically beat an army single-handed.

Forget the good old days.

I'll take what we have now.

My next stop was the olympic stadium.

There was a soccer game going on.

If you think our American football is rough,

you ought to see soccer.

I didn't mean to break up their game,

but suddenly, I was surrounded by 50,000

adoring, wonderful, handsome Italians.

If I could have kissed each one, I would have,

but I didn't have time that day.

I was in love with Rome and Rome was in love with me.

Then I just had to look at the park of the gladiators.

I couldn't get in.

These statues were built for the olympic games

that were held in Rome in 1960.

The government had fig leaves pasted on the statues.

Can you imagine such nonsense?

After all, there are only two sexes.

Well, more or less.

And let's face it, men know what women look like,

and no girl was ever seduced by a statue, right?

Rome must have been getting to me because suddenly,

I had another of those recurring daydreams.

I looked up at one of the statues,

and he almost seemed human.

I imagined what it would be like

to actually be in the company of a group of gladiators.

They were all terribly strong boys.

My statue became blood and flesh

and muscle in my silly wicked little daydream.

I'd have to choose my champion for the Roman games.

My statue come to life would be there.

The others would be very strong, brute, probably.

I'd have a heck of a time choosing.

Any one of them would be able to overpower me.

I wondered if I would ever meet anybody

who could be even 1/10th the man

those Roman gladiators were.

They lived hard, died hard, and from what I've heard,

they loved hard.

I would have given anything to have been

at an ancient Roman party.

Most of the time, they're turned into orgies.

My hero!

He could conquer anything if he put his mind to it.

Wow, a real dragon!

And it has three heads!

I haven't seen anything like that

since the last time I had a hangover.

Oh, I hope he makes it!

Oh, he cut off the dragon's head!

I knew he would.

How could he miss?

Oh, he's so big and strong!

My hero.

Oh, that ferocious bull!

I was so afraid.

Just like one of those Spanish matadors.

He grabbed the bull by the horns.

Oh, I just can't stand the sight of blood.

He could throw a bull, kill a dragon,

and break a girl's heart.

He was so big and so modest.

I was invited to the cannes film festival on the riviera.

I was sorry to leave the eternal city.

On the way to the airport,

I noticed several girls standing on the roadside.

I asked the driver if the girls were waiting for a lift.

He said, "they're waiting, but not for a lift.

"They're waiting for customers."

Sure enough, a man stopped his car

in front of one of the girls

and seemed to be bargaining with her.

I asked my driver to stop.

I had to see this.

My driver told me

that although there was a pretty standard price,

about 2,000 lira, it's customary to bargain.

Otherwise, the prostitute feels some of the fun

is taken out of the game.

After all, they may be girls of the road,

but they're still fun-loving romans.

Incidentally, 2,000 lira is about $3.

I wouldn't work that cheap for anything.

Well, the first man had made a deal.

Sure does drive a hard bargain.

Too bad that on this road,

love had to be made.

I've always insisted on romance.

I shook my head sadly for the little man.

He even came prepared with a blanket

in case the ground was wet.

How sad to think his poor wife is sitting home,

doing dishes, feeding the kids,

and here's her husband, just too sad for words.

My driver told me a strange story.

He said that a top star in the movies

got her start this way, on this very road to stardom.

I couldn't wait to get to the riviera.

Cannes, the French riviera!

Oh, the beach with the shortest bikinis in the world.

The typical girl in cannes is able to make a bikini

out of a midget's handkerchief,

but that's the way it is on the riviera.

People just act different.

I was so happy to be here for the cannes film festival.

Every year, the movie industry comes through

to pick the best films of the year.

And as for pretty girls, well,

they flock to cannes from all over the world.

And once they're in the riviera,

well, you can see that the amount of clothing

is kind of tiny.

Inhibitions drop with the neckline too.

I've never been ashamed of my own figure,

so I put on a bikini too.

I had decided that if they can go half naked, I could too.

Let's face it, the human body is a wonderful thing.

If you have a good figure, why not take advantage of it?

Once again, I was in my own brand of heaven.

Admirers flocked around me, demanding my autograph.

Gosh, it's just absolutely great being a star.

Our fleet was in, and I just couldn't resist

giving an autograph to two awfully cute sailors.

I just love our boys in uniform.

When some of the press from around the world

wanted me to pose in the Marquis de sade fountain,

well, I just had to oblige.

After all, publicity is awfully important for a girl.

Oh, what a girl has to do for her career.

I was so happy.

Everybody seemed to adore me.

What a feeling!

Jโ€œ bird is the word. Jโ€œ

j'heyj'

jโ€œ there jโ€œ

jโ€œ everybody jโ€œ

Then I heard this absolutely way-out music.

My ears directed my body towards the sound.

Jโ€œ yeah, I'm gonna get her jโ€œ

It was rocky Roberts & the airedales,

one of the biggest main groups in Europe.

Jโ€œ yeah, yeah jโ€œ

jโ€œ yeah jโ€œ

jโ€œ I got my baby jโ€œ

jโ€œ there's no time to spare jโ€œ

Jโ€œ get it, baby, yeah jโ€œ

Jโ€œ yeah, yeah jโ€œ

jโ€œ yeah jโ€œ

jโ€œ people, come and meet her jโ€œ

jโ€œ from everywhere jโ€œ

Jโ€œ and the boogie-woogie tune jโ€œ

jโ€œ but she knows the bird, the bird, the bird, the bird jโ€œ

jโ€œ baby, yes, you do jโ€œ

jโ€œ clap your hands jโ€œ

jโ€œ stomp your feet jโ€œ

jโ€œ wiggle your hips, baby jโ€œ

jโ€œ in time with the beat jโ€œ

jโ€œ you know you're looking good now jโ€œ

jโ€œ just like I knew you would jโ€œ

jโ€œ yeah, you're doing the bird, bird, bird jโ€œ

jโ€œ yeah, yeah jโ€œ

jโ€œ wake up jโ€œ

Jโ€œ yeah, yeah jโ€œ

jโ€œ tweet, tweet jโ€œ

jโ€œ bird, bird jโ€œ

jโ€œ you know, the bird is the word jโ€œ

jโ€œ ah-ah-ah-ah, yeah jโ€œ

Jโ€œ yeah jโ€œ

jโ€œ baby jโ€œ

jโ€œ tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet jโ€œ

jโ€œ oh, wake up, baby jโ€œ

I almost couldn't stop!

There was one place I just had to see, the isle of levant,

that famous nudist colony just an hour away.

I was fascinated by the thought of going to an island

with nude people.

I told the boat driver to keep his eyes fonnard.

Then I slipped off my bikini top.

I wanted to get in a little practice

in case I decided to go native on levant.

I hope nobody was watching me.

I'm basically very shy.

I hope my sailor friends aren't fooling around

with their telescopes.

And before I knew it, we were at the island.

Before going to the main nudist part of levant,

I just had to test the sparkling clear water.

Sometimes, I think fish are so lucky,

especially when the sun's dragging down.

I was getting a terrific tan.

Not as good as some of those

I had arranged for a Jeep to drive me over

to the main part of levant, heliopolis.

This is really the heart of the island,

and where the real nudism goes on.

You must have heard of it.

I think just about every serviceman

in Europe has been there.

They used to say, "see Naples and die."

Now, it's, "cut loose in heliopolis."

At last, we were there.

I had an immediate urge to fling off my bikini,

but I was really too timid.

I looked at some picture postcards.

I guess this is what they mean by French postcards.

Wandering around, talking to the nudists,

I really began to dig the whole idea.

These people were so unaffected.

You take off the clothes, you sort of become natural.

No put-ons, no lording it over your neighbor

because you have a mink and she doesn't.

I walked over to a lonely pile of rocks.

"Jaynie," I said to myself, "it's your turn."

I hope nobody was looking.

I took off my top, but I,

well, I just couldn't bring myself to take off my bottoms.

I felt silly going only halfway,

but I had a lot of years of inhibitions to work off.

Gee, I hope no one sees me like this.

It's all right for a movie, but not in real life.

The cool water running through my toes was refreshing.

Looking at them, I had to laugh.

They reminded me of other times

and other toes I once saw in a nightclub.

It may have been a little naughty, but nice.

It was one of the loveliest days in my life.

I was sorry it came to an end.

Just getting on the boat to go back

made me miss the isle of levant.

I hope I'd return, and I knew one thing,

the next time, I'd take off the whole darn bikini!

As we sped out into the harbor,

I bid a fond farewell to the isle of levant.

The people were kind to me and very understanding.

They were among the nicest people I met in Europe.

I wanted to come back to levant, soon.

Just a day later, I was in Paris.

What a difference from the isle of levant!

From the warm rays of the sun

to the warm stares of my public.

I just didn't know which made me happier.

I was on the famed champs-elysees,

the boulevard of broken dreams,

the most famous street in the world.

I made an appointment to visit fernand aubry.

He's one of the most well-known cosmeticians in Europe.

I could hardly wait to get on his fabulous workbench.

I almost got lost, but one of those nice French policemen

pointed the way.

Fernand aubry is famous all over Europe.

Movie stars flock to him whenever they're in Paris.

You can go in feeling grubby and heavy in the hips.

When you come out, you feel like a teenager.

You get the whole treatment.

He checks your complexion.

Then he prescribes the right amount of sunlamp treatment,

the right places for a massage.

It's just so relaxing

that you never want to get off the table.

Monsieur aubry let me look in on a couple of girls

who were getting their treatment.

It looked awfully soothing.

I couldn't wait for my turn on the table.

The overall work can be very expensive,

but the studio was picking up my tab.

I wish we had someone as talented

as monsieur aubry in america.

Maybe it's a special French talent.

A woman has to take awfully good care of her body.

It's her most important asset.

So many girls today think it's in and groovy

to dress sloppy, but take it from me,

a man will fall in love faster

with a well-groomed, ordinary-looking girl

than he will with a beautiful girl who's untidy.

Like an artist, he paints my lips.

I could see the change already.

And now, the time had come.

Do you know how artists airbrush pictures?

Here, they airbrush the body

for a smooth and natural complexion.

Ooh, it feels good!

I wanted to stay all day, but my appointment was at an end.

After an hour of total relaxation,

I headed out into the streets again.

In a few minutes, I was in the most fabulous shopping center

in the whole world, the flea market.

Everybody started here from scratch.

It was just wild.

Some people think you can only find junk here,

but I met a woman who bought an original Picasso

in a pile of old paintings.

That's the beauty of the flea market.

You never know what kind of treasure you can find,

and it's really awfully cheap.

Oh, you can get stuck if you come on like a real tourist.

That dog was eying my choo choo,

but I took good care of choo choo.

No French romance for him.

You can get a lot of surprises if you don't watch yourself.

The next morning, bright and cheery,

I went off to see the Eiffel Tower.

Hey, do you know it's the most famous monument

in the entire world?

That's right.

Even the empire state building isn't as well-known.

Before going up the tower,

a few hell's angels from Los Angeles rode up.

When they offered me a spin, I couldn't resist.

Support the boys from back home, you know.

The m was for Malibu.

Once around was enough for me.

The Eiffel Tower

was built in 1889.

That's so long ago!

And high!

984 feet.

Now, even the empire state building

is only a few feet higher than that.

And the Eiffel Tower is so much older.

I hope they never tear it down and put in a parking lot.

So here was Paris, the city of dreams, of enchantment,

where anything goes.

A very beautiful city, but also a city of sin,

Of vice, and unashamed love.

Here I was, at the top of the Eiffel Tower,

at the top of the world, it seemed.

Below, wonderful, wild, wicked, wicked Paris.

Oh, I'd read about Paris.

I was thinking about all the risque things

I'd heard about Paris, when I looked down, and,

wow!

The chamber of commerce would have been proud of those two.

My imagination ran away with me.

I just knew all kinds of wild things were going on below.

In the distance, I could see a guy and his girl in a park.

Shocking, but awfully French.

That hotel down there, I heard it was one of those places

where you could ring for special kinds of room service.

You push a button for a waiter, for ice water,

and of course, for a very special room service.

And somewhere, a pretty French girl

will be getting ready to meet her boyfriend,

or someone else's husband.

French girls are the cleanest in the world, so they say.

And down there, maybe one of those poor girls

without husbands, who had to do all kinds of things

to make ends meet.

Midgets and dwarves need sex too,

but she'll cut them down to size.

I'd read enough about the parisians

to know that they were among the most uninhibited people

in the world.

Far away, there was a small park near some houses.

A girl was sunbathing there.

Honestly, a girl just can't get any privacy around here.

So many voyeurs getting their kicks

watching unsuspecting girls trying to relax.

I just couldn't wait to see what further adventures

Paris was going to offer.

After all my wild, wild thoughts

about what went on in Paris,

I thought a little bit of culture might be nice.

I got in a sight-seeing boat, a trip around the seine river.

Oh, you've heard of it,

probably in those wonderful old horror movies.

You know, the "phantom of the left bank."

Anyway, the guide told me something I almost didn't believe.

We always think of the seine as a little river

winding its way through Paris,

but did you know that little old river is 480 miles long?

It goes all the way to the English channel.

Off in the distance, on a house boat,

it was just too cute for words.

I hoped he wasn't going to spank her when he caught her,

not in the city of love.

There are nicer things to do than spank a girl, oui?

It was a lovely trip.

Ah, Paris,

if only I had been lucky enough to be born here.

Jayne Mansfield.

I just had to go over and have a look

at the arc de triomphe.

Did you know that in 1806,

Napoleon got the whole thing started?

That's right.

He had sort of kicked the stuffing

out of everybody else in Europe,

and decided to let the rest of the world

remember what he did.

Oh, it's so grand going into a strange city

and having people come up to you and say,

"jayne, give us your autograph, okay?"

Well, I'd had enough of the sightseeing bit.

I went through the gate which said, "keep out, don't enter."

What the heck, I thought, live a little!

This was my secret passage to the Paris underground world.

That night, I went off alone to a way-out nightclub.

It was chez michou, very in at the time.

They said that everybody in the place was homosexual.

That is, the people in girl's clothes

were supposed to be girls.

Oh, it was just too darn confusing.

I just couldn't believe that some of those

sweet-looking girls could possibly be men!

And these two cute boys, believe it or not, are girls.

I'm a little confused about these two.

Jโ€œ all the cats are hauling to the jungle twist jโ€œ

jโ€œ nobody knows when to start with the twist jโ€œ

jโ€œ somebody said that it came from the west jโ€œ

jโ€œ you never know when jโ€œ

Then, two of the girls,

I thought, came over.

They just gushed over me and admired my figure.

One of them said she was just green with jealousy.

Ilaughed.

I figured I was going through a great put-on.

Jโ€œ and all the drums, drums are beating like mad jโ€œ

jโ€œ whether you take it as fiction or fact jโ€œ

jโ€œ all the cats start twisting to the jungle twist jโ€œ

We were comparing hairdos.

Then, what do you think happened?

I flipped!

And here, I was going to ask her

to show me to the lady's room.

This, well, I think it was a boy, asked me to dance.

What could I do?

After all, a movie star is supposed to be a sophisticate.

Jโ€œ and all the drums, drums were beatin' like mad jโ€œ

jโ€œ whether you take it as fiction or fact jโ€œ

I think it was a guy.

By the next morning, when I got out into the street,

I tuned in to some of the funny stuff

which went on in Paris,

like this little scene I saw right off the champs-elysees.

It was a lesson, a life and times of your average parisian.

These men were soliciting, waiting for customers,

just like those girls in Rome,

only, these men were waiting for men.

You've heard of Irma ia douce.

You might call this scene Pierre ia douce.

They like to drive a hard bargain here too.

I realize that everybody has a price in this world.

Then I had to chuckle.

Ooh-ia-ia, Paris!

That chic girl, probably a patroness of the arts.

And the boy, all he was interested in was the girl.

Her form, her hair, her,

Good for her!

She doesn't stand still for that kind of baloney.

Parisian girls have their pride.

Oh, no!

This is too much.

And then there was this other scene

which just sort of broke me up.

I've seen guys try to pick up girls, but the same sex?

Well, it was kind of fun to watch.

In a way, I hoped the poorjerk would make it.

C'est la vie.

Wanting to get away from the sorry sight I had just seen,

I took a cab over to montmartre.

This is the center of painting in Paris,

and you all know that Paris and painting

are a man and woman.

One can't exist without the other.

All the great painters have lived for a while in montmartre.

You know, you can pick up something from an unknown

which could be worth thousands later on.

This one artist asked me to pose for a sketch.

Why not, I figured.

I might even wind up in a museum some day.

He was cute!

I'll bet he had more than one girlfriend hanging on to him.

Artists in Paris live very bohemian lives.

Oh, brother!

Is that all I'm ever gonna be known for?

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to the 16th annual bust-out.

I was invited to the annual party

of the bust-out society.

Once a year, they have a contest

for the most beautiful breasts in the world.

- It will be by the shape, the size, the contour.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's most important

that you meet the gentleman who will decide

who has the best bust for our bust-out.

Ladies and gentlemen, our judge, monsieur Jean leplan.

Ladies and gentlemen,

may I present the number one bust from Sweden?

That was some bust.

Now, ladies and gentlemen,

may I present another Scandinavian bust-out,

the young lady from Denmark.

Now, from way down in Australia's bust-out, miss Australia!

Now, may I present France own bust-out, miss France?

We will now see from england, miss england.

Now, mon ami, the grand finale.

Here, you see the finest bust chosen

from all over the world.

This is the final countdown.

Look closely, my dear friends,

because among all these magnificent flowers

is the grandest, proudest bust of them all.

Which one shall it be, this one?

That one, that?

To me, they all look so beautiful.

Some of the girls are fighting for a position.

The judge looked as though

he was fit to be tied to the table.

I wonder what would have happened

if they had let him loose.

- Ladies and gentlemen, it was a close contest,

won by a tight squeeze.

The winner.

There comes a time when a decision has to be made.

- From Sweden, the land of smorgasbord!

- Beautiful, fantastic!

Gosh, miss Sweden was a beautiful girl.

I hope she had a boyfriend to go home to.

I'd seen too much funny stuff in this crazy city.

You know, I frankly think I could have won that contest.

Look at that.

Show business is the same everywhere.

The mc gets the girl.

Poor judge.

- This was really indeed a wonderful

and gratifying experience and convention.

So until next year, au revoir.

I decided to be a contestant next time.

It would be a ball!

After the bust contest, I had to see more

of the famous parisian night life.

A girl I had met invited me to le sexy.

She worked there as a stripper.

What's this?

Oh, it undresses!

Everything in Paris strips.

Gloria, my stripper friend, came over to say hello.

She told me how she got started.

I was discovered in

By bulu, the instructor.

He's a lovely dancer, knows more about stripping

than most girls do.

Let me tell you, it ain't easy.

That first day, I thought me legs would fall off.

Oh, the pain!

My boyfriend massaged them back into shape.

Anyway, bulu worked and worked with me.

I often thought I could never be

as good a stripper as bulu.

Poor bulu, he never got over being a boy.

He so desperately wanted to be a famous stripper.

But it made things easy for me.

When bulu offered to walk me home, I knew we'd just walk,

not like some of the other characters in this business.

Ah, that bulu.

Do you know he's the most famous nightclub choreographer

in all of France, maybe even in Europe!

Finally, after weeks of practicing,

after weeks of nightly thigh massages,

I began to get the idea.

Me hips were loosening up, me body began to move gracefully.

I still dream at night of those long sessions.

Bulu may not seem like a very masculine type,

but can he drive you!

Bulu is a perfectionist.

He's better than most of the girls,

and lets you know it too.

I was fascinated.

I'd always thought all you did was go on stage

and take your clothes off.

It was much more difficult.

I could see that now.

Gloria left the table.

It was time for the big number.

A terrific thought hit me as I watched Gloria.

Why not do a strip routine in my next movie?

I'd have to take lessons, but first,

I decided to study Gloria's act.

After all, bulu taught her.

I marveled at Gloria's skill, but I knew I could learn.

I decided the first thing in the morning

to make an appointment.

This was Pierre's striptease school,

but this guy, Pierre, wasn't any bulu, not even close!

Pierre said he was familiar with all of bulu's movements,

but it wasn't like having bulu himself.

Pierre was good, but just good enough to be a chorus boy.

But working with Pierre was really something.

At least if I didn't learn how to strip,

I'd lose a lot of weight.

But soon, some kind of natural talent asserted itself.

I suddenly began to do things with my hips,

which no man can.

Before long, I was teaching Pierre a few things.

Suddenly, I had a flash of inspiration.

I could see exactly the kind of scene

I'd do in my next movie.

It would really turn on my audience.

They'd just love me, I knew.

Even I was getting wicked.

I was going to audition for my producer

and demonstrate my newly-found talent.

This should help my career.

The signs on the night Any girl blush.

I was absolutely enchanted with Paris,

and this place pigalle!

You know, you can get everything you want here.

The streetwalkers create a traffic jam.

Marijuana and LSD are sold by every other person.

If you want a girl, you can buy one.

If you want a boy, you can buy one.

Anything goes.

It's the wildest place imaginable.

A friend had told me to go to the Eve club.

She said they had an act that was the living end.

I couldn't resist.

After all, we all like to see something

just a bit wicked, right?

After the two fellows had finished their routine,

the mc announced the Adam and Eve dance.

This was what I was waiting for.

What a guy!

And his costume!

Let me tell you, in Bryn mawr, pa, my hometown,

he'd have been arrested two seconds after he came on stage.

My evening started off great.

Now, on to one of those nice places

where they feature the can-can.

This was just like Paris in the last century.

When the can-can was over, they brought out a flock of girls

dressed as everything under the sun.

I'd never seen anything like it.

One thing about these girls,

most of them were not French.

That's right, the most beautiful and the best-shaped girls

in Paris nightclubs are English.

English girls seem to have better breast shapes

than French girls.

That's why so many of these girls

are right out of merry old england,

and they make life very merry for the parisians.

This was the first bottomless club I'd ever been in.

Anyone for an auction?

She must be going camping with the foreign legion.

This one looks like it's right out of bonanza.

I was having just the greatest time of my life.

Talk about fun!

There were so many nightclubs to choose from.

Where now?

Where now?

Ah, I remember, the crazy horse,

one of the most famous in the world,

like the Latin quarter, or the copa in New York.

I made up my mind, I'd go there.

When the act came out, I stared!

What a couple!

All I know is that this act turned on the whole place.

I had to cut my Paris trip short and fly back to the states.

First stop, New York City.

I had a whole day to myself

before continuing on to Hollywood.

A friend invited me to a beauty contest.

I told him I'd had enough of that kind of thing.

Then he said something which changed my mind.

This was a beauty contest for boys,

but they'd all be dressed like girls.

And on top of that, it was highly illegal.

We were really lucky the place wasn't raided.

My studio wouldn't like that.

I got there just as the contestants were arriving.

I just couldn't believe my eyes.

Well, these boys look more feminine than most girls I knew.

They were unbelievable!

My gosh!

They almost looked as though they were real girls!

I'd seen some strange things in Europe,

but this took all the cakes ever made.

The crazy thing about this contest

was that everybody in the place, except for me, was a boy.

I could almost imagine some guy falling for one of these

girls.

It seems too harsh to say transvestites, which they are.

There wasn't a real girl in the place.

A couple of thousand years ago,

men in Europe used to wear what looked like a dress,

but at least you knew they were men.

These days, you see someone with a sexy backside,

long hair, very tight blue jeans,

and when that person turns around,

it's a guy with a long mustache.

It sure is a mixed-up world.

And the costumes!

Did you ever see anything so fantastic?

They look more like girls than a lot of girls do.

Guess nobody goes to the men's room in this place.

It's unbelievable.

There wasn't another real girl in the place.

When it came time to pick the beauty queen,

the tension was terrific.

The boy-girls were all twittering and giggling,

laughing nervously.

Poor dears.

Each of them desperately wanted to be the queen of the ball.

I could see the judges were having a difficult time

deciding which one should get the title.

I thought it would be a wild thing

if I snuck into the line,

but I'd be recognized.

It would have been funny to have a real girl compete,

but you know, I don't think she'd win.

There was something so absolutely feminine about these boys.

It really was amazing.

Even I would get arrested in a dress like that.

These boys get top-heavy by taking hormone injections.

These transvestite balls are underground affairs

held twice a year.

They're really hard to get invited to.

At last, the judges reached a decision.

The winner, a lovely slim girl, boy, girl.

Oh, well, let's call him a girl.

That's what he wants to be, and tonight,

he's queen of the ball.

For one night, he was the most important queen in town.

The losers retire to the ladies' room to cut their throat.

Later, I met with one of the contestants.

You've been called a jayne Mansfield female impersonator.

Do you really think you look like me?

- Oh, I guess we do look alike a little.

Well, do you like big, strong men like I do?

- Of course, honey, we're both looking for the same thing.

What kind of men do you look for?

- Oh, as long as they're tall, dark, and handsome.

Do you intend to ever become a real woman?

- Of course I do, that's the only thing in my life

I'm waiting for, till I can party like you.

Will you have as many children as I have?

- No, I don't want children.

Do you want to get in the movies?

- I'd love to be in the movies.

I'm always willing to be a star.

After my brief stay in New York,

I was back in Hollywood, and did I notice a change, wow!

Even during the few months I was out of the country,

the topless nightclubs and activities had mushroomed.

Someone told me that if my movie career ever stopped,

I'd have a big future as a topless waitress.

Driving around in a car,

I saw the wildest topless things you could imagine.

Now, take that ice cream truck.

That girl could sell ice cream cones at the north pole.

Now, there's a girl who's going to make her fortune

by the time she's 20.

Well, she's doing some good.

Men look nice in shiny shoes.

But what's the big attraction?

There's an old Italian down the street

who gives the best shine in town.

How come he has no customers?

When I saw that girl on the ladder,

I thought this craze was getting out of hand.

Can you imagine topless stewardesses on a jet?

Or a topless taxi driver?

Can you imagine sitting home, having breakfast,

and finding this staring in your face?

I was in for another surprise.

I had an appointment with a big producer.

When I parked my car in the garage,

I couldn't believe what I saw.

What was happening to Hollywood?

Would teachers go topless next?

What a girl will do to get an extra big tip from a man.

This was a full-service garage.

They came out of the woodwork.

This one is a grease monkey, no less.

And look at the ape she's talking to.

She's telling him he needs a carb and a valve job.

When I got to the producer's office after nine,

I just about threw my hands up in despair.

Talk about living like a posher!

This producer used to have a fine barber come to his office.

After all those years of service,

how could he change barbers?

This girl wasn't doing as good a job as the old one.

The way things were going in this town,

I wouldn't have been surprised if he said,

"take off your bra and have a seat."

I couldn't get away from the topless frenzy in Hollywood.

That night, we went to a nightclub, the blue bunny.

The sign said it was a topless club.

What could be inside, I wondered.

Topless customers?

Jโ€œ I can't stand to feel the pain jโ€œ

j'oohj'

jโ€œ my heart keeps burning, burning jโ€œ

jโ€œ I just can't stand jโ€œ

jโ€œ to feel the pain jโ€œ

j'oohj'

jโ€œ my heart keeps burning, burning jโ€œ

Oh, that girl!

She was so lovely!

But good thing they had her in a cage.

The featured act came on, the ladybirds.

Oh, they were good!

I was surprised, they were all lovely girls.

Jโ€œ I can't stand, no jโ€œ

jโ€œ I can't stand, no jโ€œ

jโ€œ I can't stand the pain jโ€œ

jโ€œ I just can't stand now jโ€œ

jโ€œ I just can't stand now jโ€œ

As for the girl in the cage,

a little silicone will go a long, long way.

Jโ€œ can't stand the pain jโ€œ

jโ€œ in my heart jโ€œ

jโ€œ keeps on burning, burning jโ€œ

jโ€œ I can't stand the pain jโ€œ

jโ€œ in my heart jโ€œ

jโ€œ keeps on jโ€œ

Some of the guys in the club

were kind of wild-eyed.

If I could read their minds,

I would have brushed all over!

One thing was obvious.

In america, a girl with a beautiful bust line

can make her fortune.

Well, look at me.

I'm proof of that.

Jโ€œ I can't stand, no jโ€œ

jโ€œ I can't stand, no jโ€œ

jโ€œ I can't stand the pain jโ€œ

jโ€œ I just can't stand now jโ€œ

jโ€œ I can't stand the pain jโ€œ

jโ€œ I just can't stand now jโ€œ

jโ€œ I can't stand anymore jโ€œ

jโ€œ I can't stand now jโ€œ

jโ€œ I can't stand jโ€œ

As long as they didn't get stuck in a guitar,

everything would be all right.

J'oohj'

jโ€œ stop, stop, I can't stand the pain jโ€œ

jโ€œ ooh, I can't stand anymore jโ€œ

Oh, well, I guess the whole world

was going topless.

I could see how I would end my strip routine

in my next movie, just the way Sophia loren did it

in her picture "yesterday, today and tomorrow."

But even I wasn't a stranger

to permitting my bust to be photographed.

I had already done that.

Here's the playboy issue which shows the movie I was in,

"promises, promises."

It showed just about everything that jayne Mansfield

had to show.

Jโ€œ loo, loo, loo, loo, loo, loo, loo, loo, loo, loo, loo jโ€œ

jโ€œ I'm in love jโ€œ

jโ€œ la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la jโ€œ

jโ€œ from above jโ€œ

jโ€œ I hear blue birds sing new words so clear and strong jโ€œ

jโ€œ enraptured, I'm captured by love that we found jโ€œ

jโ€œ loo, loo, loo, loo, loo, loo, loo, loo, loo, loo, loo, loo jโ€œ

jโ€œ I'm in love jโ€œ

there's Tommy noonan who played my husband in the picture.

Oh, well!

I put everything I had into this scene.

Yes, I certainly had fun on the riviera,

in Rome, Paris, New York, and Hollywood.

What way-out things I saw!

It really is a wild, wild, world.

A bulletin has just been handed to me.

Hollywood star, the buxom and beautiful jayne Mansfield,

is dead.

She was killed instantly when the car she was riding in

collided with a truck a few miles from New Orleans

early this morning.

Aflaming, grinding car crash ended the bright movie career

of famed jayne Mansfield on June 29th, 1967.

Jayne Mansfield died while driving to New Orleans.

At 33 years of age, Hollywood's smartest dumb blonde

lay at the side of the road.

She died instantly and was almost decapitated.

Ironically, jayne Mansfield had a fear of cars.

She had a superstition she would meet her end while driving.

The house jayne Mansfield and Mickey hargitay shared

is more rightly called a mansion.

It is one of Hollywood's largest homes,

with 17 rooms and a swimming pool.

In Hollywood, it's known as the house that love built.

A few days after the accident,

Mickey hargitay, jayne's second husband,

returned to their home to relive old memories.

The heart-shaped swimming pool

where he and jayne had so much fun,

where he taught jayne how to swim, Mickey built this pool,

with an inscription at the bottom,

which reads, "I love you, jayne."

Two of jayne Mansfield's sons, miklos and zoltan,

are also here.

Until the estate is settled, they will continue to live

at this imposing mansion.

The boys do not remember much about that tragic night.

They were asleep in the backseat of the car.

Only that saved them from certain death.

Time will erase the memory of the accident.

It will never erase the memory of their mother.

Jayne Mansfield was a starry-eyed romantic.

She had a passion for love

and a passion for heart-shaped objects.

To jayne Mansfield, love was the reason for life.

Without it, there would be no reason to live.

From the time they were married 10 years ago,

while she was still struggling

to earn a place in show business,

Mickey reminisces about their wonderful times together.

He spends a few moments at the souvenir wall in their den,

where hundreds of jayne's magazine covers

are carefully framed.

Jayne was lifted to instant stardom in this Broadway comedy.

She was a pal of many major film stars.

This issue of playboy featuring jayne

is perhaps the most famous issue in its history.

Manufacturers dedicated many products to her.

You could even get a life-like hot water bottle

shaped like jayne.

Jayne Mansfield performed all over the world

to millions of people.

Jayne Mansfield was one of the most publicized,

most photographed sex symbols the world has ever known.

She was also the symbol of the dumb blonde.

Amazingly, though, jayne Mansfield had a degree

from the university of Texas.

Her io was a startling 163,

among the top 5% in the nation.

Yet, she chose show business as a career

instead of her original goal to be a scientist.

Everything in the house is left exactly it was.

Jayne's shoes laid out as though

she were coming home this evening.

Who can fill these shoes?

The era of the great stars may have come to an end

with her death.

Mickey at the piano he bought jayne

for their first wedding anniversary.

It seemed so long ago.

Mickey remembers many things.

He remembers how happy they were together.

He remembers the good days,

the golden days before his world began to crumble.

He remembers the movies, the magazines,

the hysterical fans.

He remembers the good times, the bad times.

It's as if he were saying,

"jayne, my poor jayne.

"You were such a wonderful girl.

"I'll never forget our first meeting.

"You looked so beautiful.

"Could I ever love another as much as I loved you?

"Could I ever expect to find the same happiness

"we once shared?

"I'm sad for the children,

"to have you taken from them forever.

"I'll never forget you.

"Wherever you are, I hope we'll meet again.

"Goodbye, darling."

Outside these walls, the world knew jayne Mansfield

as a sexpot, a symbol of the sensuous woman.

Inside these walls, she was a model mother,

a fine homemaker, a type we may never see again.

The voice of jayne Mansfield will never again caress a child

or soothe a man.

Mickey remembers many things of their life, but most of all,

he remembers that awful night of the tragedy.

And so ended the wild, wild world of jayne Mansfield,

one of the most publicized women of our time

and a phenomenon of our century.

In the world of motion pictures, she was a true star.

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