All language subtitles for The Neighborhood - 07x01 - Welcome to the Neighborhood, Daphne.LAZYCUNTS+FLUX+YELLO+JFF+TiPEX+1080p.MeGusta+ELiTE.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,550 --> 00:00:15,420 _ 2 00:00:15,470 --> 00:00:17,950 All right, Grover. Great job. 3 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,360 Yeah. Anytime, Dad. 4 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:20,420 Ah. 5 00:00:22,170 --> 00:00:23,190 Really? 6 00:00:23,696 --> 00:00:24,890 "Great job"? 7 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:27,648 It says, "It's a gril." 8 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:30,920 I know what it says, 9 00:00:30,976 --> 00:00:32,730 but Grover's been applying to high schools, 10 00:00:32,740 --> 00:00:33,760 and it's been stressful. 11 00:00:33,780 --> 00:00:35,690 I'm trying to keep things positive. 12 00:00:36,380 --> 00:00:39,408 Well, maybe, if he can't spell "girl," 13 00:00:39,450 --> 00:00:41,490 he might want to do another year in middle school. 14 00:00:44,368 --> 00:00:47,600 _ 15 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:49,504 Calvin. 16 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,040 Marty just called. 17 00:00:51,090 --> 00:00:53,550 Courtney and the baby have been discharged from the hospital. 18 00:00:53,590 --> 00:00:54,599 They're on their way. 19 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:55,648 Aw. 20 00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:56,830 Remember that feeling? 21 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,350 Bringing our baby home for the first time? 22 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,050 Oh, that was heaven. 23 00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:02,600 - Where are the instructions? - I read the instr... 24 00:01:02,650 --> 00:01:03,792 - Oh, wait. Was there instructions? - Are you sure 25 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:05,440 - you're following the instructions? - I wasn't sure. I didn't see them before. 26 00:01:05,450 --> 00:01:07,180 No, I read... please stop yelling at me. 27 00:01:07,558 --> 00:01:08,690 But it's still wiggly. 28 00:01:08,747 --> 00:01:10,350 Okay, it's not wiggling. It's as tight as I can get... 29 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,510 - It's cutting into the vegan leather. - Look. 30 00:01:12,568 --> 00:01:14,560 It's wiggling. 31 00:01:14,610 --> 00:01:17,940 Yeah, if you yank on it like that, Thor. 32 00:01:18,592 --> 00:01:19,650 Yep. 33 00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:22,190 They're never gonna be happier than they are right now. 34 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,280 Tina. 35 00:01:24,864 --> 00:01:27,560 I found some of Grover's old bibs and burp cloths. 36 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:31,750 They're so cute. Look at this. "Spit happens." 37 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,370 Yeah, I'm-a throw away all this spit. 38 00:01:38,464 --> 00:01:39,760 Feels like she could've waited five minutes 39 00:01:39,776 --> 00:01:41,888 till I walked away, but whatevs. 40 00:01:43,712 --> 00:01:45,430 Ah, Gemma, you remember this day? 41 00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:47,220 Coming home with a perfect little baby? 42 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,000 Yeah. 43 00:01:49,059 --> 00:01:50,510 And now he's a teenager. 44 00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:52,270 We get side hugs. 45 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:53,856 And he calls us "bruh." 46 00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,630 I just hope Marty and Courtney appreciate 47 00:01:56,656 --> 00:01:57,940 these precious moments. 48 00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:01,570 Marty, slow down. 49 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:02,869 Well, I'm going ten miles an hour. 50 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,200 Baby on board! 51 00:02:07,104 --> 00:02:09,420 Hey. She stopped crying. 52 00:02:09,479 --> 00:02:10,870 Oh, good. 53 00:02:10,923 --> 00:02:12,500 Wait, no, i-is she okay? 54 00:02:12,550 --> 00:02:14,064 I-I don't know. Maybe she fainted. 55 00:02:14,110 --> 00:02:15,219 You're driving like a maniac. 56 00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:17,000 I'm going ten! 57 00:02:19,658 --> 00:02:20,870 She's okay. She's crying again. 58 00:02:20,928 --> 00:02:22,460 Oh, thank God. 59 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:25,550 Hey, yo, there is a baby on board! 60 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,180 Hey, hey, guys, guys? 61 00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:29,712 I-I think I see Marty's car. 62 00:02:29,740 --> 00:02:30,944 Ooh! 63 00:02:30,990 --> 00:02:32,144 Is it parked? 64 00:02:33,488 --> 00:02:35,680 Um, I think it's moving. 65 00:02:35,730 --> 00:02:37,936 Guys, he's got a baby on board. 66 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,624 You know, I hope he has one of those signs. 67 00:02:41,776 --> 00:02:43,792 Well, we'll know in about half an hour. 68 00:02:44,949 --> 00:02:46,870 You know, I could just walk down there and get the baby. 69 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,920 Oh, yeah, yeah, I can't wait to hold that baby. 70 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,240 Wait, wait, wait, here you go. 71 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,410 Oh, it's okay. I just washed my hands. 72 00:02:53,088 --> 00:02:54,330 I didn't see it. 73 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:58,400 Oh, there's my baby! 74 00:02:58,420 --> 00:03:00,130 - No, not you. Move! - Oh... oh! 75 00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,460 Give me my baby. 76 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,930 Sorry, Mrs. B, she's a little fussy. 77 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,176 Oh, come here, come here. 78 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:13,220 All she needs is her pop-pop. 79 00:03:13,270 --> 00:03:17,040 That's all. That's all, yeah. 80 00:03:17,090 --> 00:03:18,730 Go-go on, now. We good. 81 00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:25,900 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 82 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,312 Oh, you like your uncle now. 83 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,210 Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay. 84 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:37,830 She's happy now. 85 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:40,790 Time for some grandma snuggles. 86 00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,990 Here you go, Grandma. 87 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:46,860 You know what? I-I must have squeezed her too hard. 88 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,970 - I'm sorry, Mrs. B. It's okay. - Yeah. 89 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:51,312 Oh, okay. Come on. Come to... 90 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,470 Oh, no, no, no, Daphne. 91 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:58,640 It's okay. It's me. Mama Tina. 92 00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,700 I-It's probably just too much excitement, Mom. 93 00:04:00,736 --> 00:04:01,770 It's not you. 94 00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:03,350 You know what? 95 00:04:03,408 --> 00:04:05,930 - She's probably just hungry. - Yeah. 96 00:04:05,990 --> 00:04:08,610 Oh, hungry. Yeah, feed that baby. 97 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,610 Why would you hand me a hungry baby? 98 00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:12,760 I mean... 99 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:16,150 - Uh-oh. Dinnertime. - Oh, we're doing this right here. 100 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,344 Ooh. 101 00:04:18,650 --> 00:04:21,380 Ah, you had the stucco removed during the remodel, huh? 102 00:04:21,410 --> 00:04:22,428 Yeah, see that... 103 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,260 Guys, grow up. 104 00:04:24,310 --> 00:04:26,800 Breastfeeding is a beautiful, natural thing. 105 00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:28,780 Oh, of course. That-that goes without saying. 106 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:30,040 That's... 107 00:04:30,090 --> 00:04:31,728 Is she still doing it? 108 00:04:32,490 --> 00:04:36,016 Okay. So, help me out here. Given that we're not a couple, 109 00:04:36,060 --> 00:04:39,520 uh, am I being supportive by looking or not looking? 110 00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:41,060 It's not like you haven't seen them. 111 00:04:41,110 --> 00:04:44,080 Right, right, but that-that was that one time, 112 00:04:44,110 --> 00:04:45,552 when, you know, we made her. 113 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,280 It's fine. You're the father. You can look. 114 00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:51,490 Okay. Okay. 115 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,670 Okay, I'm not gonna look. 116 00:04:57,720 --> 00:04:58,760 - Yeah, please don't. - I'm not gonna look. 117 00:04:58,770 --> 00:04:59,780 Ooh, whoa, uh... 118 00:04:59,790 --> 00:05:00,801 - Dad? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 119 00:05:00,810 --> 00:05:02,496 Can... let's talk way over here, please. 120 00:05:03,730 --> 00:05:05,040 Uh, Marty, 121 00:05:05,090 --> 00:05:08,050 - so the two superchargers came in. - Yeah. 122 00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:10,880 And tomorrow, I'm-a need you to come in and check them 123 00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:13,730 to make sure we got enough megatrons to run them. 124 00:05:15,152 --> 00:05:17,180 Okay, Dad, um... 125 00:05:19,216 --> 00:05:22,180 Megatron is the bad guy from Transformers. 126 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,650 Do you mean "megawatts"? 127 00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:25,784 Yeah, him, too. 128 00:05:26,928 --> 00:05:29,200 Look, uh, Marty, you know this tech stuff 129 00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:30,740 is out of my wheelhouse. 130 00:05:30,799 --> 00:05:32,910 All right? But we got to be ready. 131 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,496 We just signed a deal 132 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:38,990 to service all of the electric vehicles for the gas company. 133 00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:41,200 Okay, well, I mean, tell Stefan to take the lead on that. 134 00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:42,990 Stefan? 135 00:05:43,048 --> 00:05:45,170 That's the kid with the big holes in his earlobes? 136 00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:46,352 Yeah. 137 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,110 Clearly, he makes bad decisions. 138 00:05:48,169 --> 00:05:52,180 No. No, I-I need you. I need regular earlobes. 139 00:05:52,230 --> 00:05:54,600 Okay, but-but, Dad, I'm not gonna be in the office. 140 00:05:54,650 --> 00:05:55,840 I'm taking my paternity leave. 141 00:05:55,890 --> 00:05:56,912 Taking it? 142 00:05:58,220 --> 00:05:59,610 Who's giving it? 143 00:06:00,950 --> 00:06:04,690 We are. It's... It's Fusebox policy. 144 00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:06,440 No, no, no. I didn't agree to that. 145 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,750 Dad, it's in our 60-page onboarding handbook. 146 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,620 - You signed it. - I may have signed it, 147 00:06:10,672 --> 00:06:12,940 but I definitely didn't read it. 148 00:06:13,776 --> 00:06:16,280 You didn't read my handbook? 149 00:06:18,630 --> 00:06:20,400 Dave, you didn't tell me anything 150 00:06:20,450 --> 00:06:22,580 about a paternity leave in the handbook. 151 00:06:22,630 --> 00:06:24,320 Don't you mean, "Thanks, Dave, 152 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:26,950 "for using your years of HR experience 153 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,710 to write a free 60-page handbook"? 154 00:06:30,766 --> 00:06:34,590 All I know is, in my day, we didn't have paternity leave. 155 00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:37,110 Your mother gave birth to you in the morning 156 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,296 and I was back to work before noon. 157 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,080 And you know how I knew that? 158 00:06:41,138 --> 00:06:44,460 Because I got a egg and cheese biscuit on the way. 159 00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:49,990 Okay, okay, okay. Give me that happy baby. 160 00:06:50,048 --> 00:06:51,520 Okay. 161 00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:53,060 Come on, come on. 162 00:06:53,118 --> 00:06:57,490 Oh, no, no, no, Daphne. 163 00:06:57,540 --> 00:06:59,795 Remember? We love each other. 164 00:07:02,496 --> 00:07:03,700 What? 165 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:07,040 You know newborns. She's probably just gassy. 166 00:07:07,090 --> 00:07:09,000 Gassy. 167 00:07:09,056 --> 00:07:10,960 Now, why would you hand me a gassy baby? 168 00:07:12,810 --> 00:07:15,750 Calvin, you got to go to the drugstore right now 169 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:16,880 and get some gripe water. 170 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:17,940 What's gripe water? 171 00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,470 Uh, they'll know at the drugstore. 172 00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:20,550 Okay, well, what's it for? 173 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,290 Well, by the time you finish asking me questions, 174 00:07:22,326 --> 00:07:23,350 you could've been back already. 175 00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:25,150 Go! 176 00:07:27,296 --> 00:07:30,100 Sound like you the one need some gripe water. 177 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:31,868 Dave? Come on. 178 00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:35,400 - Are you hungry again? - Oh, my God. 179 00:07:38,630 --> 00:07:41,710 Well, the good news is there is such thing as gripe water. 180 00:07:41,730 --> 00:07:45,664 The bad news is that it's locked up like a fifth of Jim Beam. 181 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:49,040 Look, okay, Calvin, it's not that hard. 182 00:07:49,090 --> 00:07:51,670 Look, there's a little "get help" button right here. 183 00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:54,680 Associate needed in the gas relief aisle. 184 00:07:56,590 --> 00:07:58,208 Uh, uh, no, no. It's for a baby. 185 00:07:58,250 --> 00:08:01,010 Baby gas. I'm-I'm not gassy at all. 186 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,316 Why are you so grouchy? 187 00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:05,350 Are you gassy? 188 00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:06,520 No. 189 00:08:07,632 --> 00:08:10,820 Look, it's just a very busy time at the Fusebox. 190 00:08:10,870 --> 00:08:12,910 And all the extra work is laying on me 191 00:08:12,930 --> 00:08:15,860 because of this paternity leave nonsense. 192 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,660 Nonsense? I took three months off with Grover. 193 00:08:18,710 --> 00:08:20,512 Why? Gemma was there. 194 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,110 What the hell were you doing? 195 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:25,240 Bonding. Singing. Skin-to-skin. 196 00:08:25,952 --> 00:08:27,700 Skin-to-skin? 197 00:08:27,750 --> 00:08:29,660 Yes. Skin-to-skin. 198 00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:32,170 Look, I would take my shirt off and I would just hold Grover. 199 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:33,930 Skin-to-skin contact is the reason 200 00:08:33,988 --> 00:08:36,180 he and I are so close to this day. 201 00:08:36,230 --> 00:08:38,970 Well, I kept my shirt on. And you know why? 202 00:08:39,028 --> 00:08:40,360 Because I was at work. 203 00:08:43,810 --> 00:08:46,384 Okay. 204 00:08:46,420 --> 00:08:50,010 Now let me hold this sweet baby. 205 00:08:50,068 --> 00:08:51,690 Yes. 206 00:08:54,464 --> 00:08:55,700 Oh... 207 00:08:56,288 --> 00:08:59,029 But... But... 208 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,456 Oh... 209 00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:05,600 Now, wait a minute! Wait a minute! 210 00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:08,720 I know what's going on here. 211 00:09:09,472 --> 00:09:11,380 The poor little thing is having a reaction 212 00:09:11,430 --> 00:09:13,472 to these cheap diapers that Gemma bought! 213 00:09:14,058 --> 00:09:15,420 You can insult me all you want 214 00:09:15,460 --> 00:09:16,800 as long as I get to hold this baby. 215 00:09:18,832 --> 00:09:20,710 Okay, you know what? I'm gonna call Calvin. 216 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,850 I'll have him get the good ones while he's at the drugstore. 217 00:09:25,870 --> 00:09:26,890 Hey, what's up? 218 00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:29,440 Hey, we need hypoallergenic diapers stat. 219 00:09:31,910 --> 00:09:33,110 You got to go to the drugstore. 220 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,690 I just got back. 221 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:38,112 He's just embarrassed because they thought he had gas. 222 00:09:41,373 --> 00:09:43,160 Well, Gemma bought cheap diapers. 223 00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:44,864 Keep 'em coming. I'm in heaven. 224 00:09:46,576 --> 00:09:48,370 And the baby won't stop crying. 225 00:09:49,168 --> 00:09:50,580 But the baby's not crying. 226 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,600 Well, she's about to cry again. 227 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,352 Look, you got to go to the drugstore. 228 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:55,470 Go on, now. 229 00:09:57,456 --> 00:09:59,920 Hey, Dad, uh, I'm putting the bassinet together. 230 00:09:59,970 --> 00:10:02,304 Can you lend me your drill? And show me how to use it? 231 00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:04,340 And just do it for me? 232 00:10:04,390 --> 00:10:06,912 Hey, hey, hey. No, no and no. 233 00:10:06,928 --> 00:10:08,590 Your father's going to get diapers now. 234 00:10:08,648 --> 00:10:11,220 Are you trying to make it so I can never take my baby to my house? 235 00:10:11,270 --> 00:10:14,698 If that's the way things have to be, then so be it. 236 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,600 Hey. Hey, you know what? 237 00:10:18,650 --> 00:10:21,600 Uh, Marty, about this whole paternity leave thing, 238 00:10:21,650 --> 00:10:23,170 listen, I get it now. 239 00:10:23,228 --> 00:10:24,450 Dave made some good points. 240 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,570 Oh. 241 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,010 Uh, did I? Which ones? 242 00:10:27,068 --> 00:10:28,760 Mm. I'll be quiet. 243 00:10:30,176 --> 00:10:32,370 Yeah, and, uh, you know what? I get it now. 244 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:33,549 Oh. You do? 245 00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:34,770 I do. 246 00:10:34,827 --> 00:10:37,429 A-Also, take your shirt off when you give her the bottle. 247 00:10:37,430 --> 00:10:38,670 Oh, right, for skin-to-skin. 248 00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:40,630 No, no, no, no. No, not that one. 249 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:45,140 Look, but really, go ahead, take you some time off. 250 00:10:45,190 --> 00:10:46,690 Hell, you know what? 251 00:10:46,749 --> 00:10:48,840 You can have the whole week off if you want. 252 00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:50,890 Dad, I'm entitled to eight weeks. 253 00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:53,230 Eight weeks? Eight weeks to do what? 254 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:54,500 What you gonna be doing in eight weeks? 255 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,180 What the hell you gonna do... 256 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,490 - H-Hello? - Diapers! 257 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,990 Associate needed in the incontinence aisle. 258 00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:10,990 It's for a baby, sir. 259 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:12,172 A baby. 260 00:11:12,590 --> 00:11:16,790 A-And eight weeks for paternity leave? For what? 261 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,710 Well, to bond. 262 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,864 Dads don't bond that early. 263 00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:22,500 We don't nurse. That's a fact. 264 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:26,260 Well, actually, I nursed Grover. 265 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:30,310 Yeah, I wore an apparatus that simulated a breast. 266 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,940 Okay, okay. Dave, you... 267 00:11:32,998 --> 00:11:36,390 I don't need to hear any more of your bonding stories. 268 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:40,030 You were no more bond-ier than I was with my boys. 269 00:11:40,050 --> 00:11:41,488 Okay, you know what? 270 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:44,140 I bet I still have that old daddy nurser at home in the attic. 271 00:11:44,192 --> 00:11:46,300 - I'm gonna go get it. - No. No, no, no, no, no, no. 272 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:47,669 I don't want it! I don't want it! 273 00:11:47,670 --> 00:11:49,328 I don't... No, not you, sir. 274 00:11:49,350 --> 00:11:50,590 No, come back. Come back. 275 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:51,968 I need that little key! 276 00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:57,180 Just wish I could make Calvin understand 277 00:11:57,190 --> 00:11:59,300 why paternity leave is so important. 278 00:11:59,358 --> 00:12:03,320 You know, bonding is the manliest thing a man can do. 279 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,800 Good God! 280 00:12:09,660 --> 00:12:10,680 You remember this? 281 00:12:10,738 --> 00:12:14,150 I do. I spent 14 years trying to forget it. 282 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,030 Ah, okay. You know what? 283 00:12:16,089 --> 00:12:18,980 Me going the extra mile to bond with my son really paid off. 284 00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,024 And Marty is gonna regret it 285 00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:23,312 if he and Daphne don't have the same great memories 286 00:12:23,330 --> 00:12:24,530 that Grover and I have. 287 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,480 Good God! 288 00:12:33,264 --> 00:12:36,629 Hey, uh, why do you have all that baby stuff out? 289 00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:37,929 Ah, it's for Marty. 290 00:12:37,930 --> 00:12:39,744 But you know it reminded me of all the great times 291 00:12:39,770 --> 00:12:41,792 that you and I had when you were tiny. 292 00:12:41,820 --> 00:12:43,840 Remember how I used to read you that book 293 00:12:43,870 --> 00:12:46,420 about the angry little bulldozer and you would imitate him, 294 00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:49,460 like: "Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom." 295 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:50,630 Nope. 296 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,010 What? Ah, you were pretty young back then. 297 00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:57,470 You remember when I took you to Safari Selina on Ice? 298 00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:58,880 I do not. 299 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:02,880 Really? 300 00:13:02,938 --> 00:13:05,050 Wh-What about the Michigan State Fair? 301 00:13:05,108 --> 00:13:06,950 Cows, pigs, cotton candy? 302 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,480 Mm, no. 303 00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:12,300 - Avalanche Bay Waterpark? - No. 304 00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:14,080 - Jumpy Town? The petting zoo? - No. No. 305 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:15,960 - Gymboree? - No. 306 00:13:16,018 --> 00:13:17,020 - Build-A-Bear? - No. 307 00:13:17,058 --> 00:13:18,320 - The Wiggles? - Nada. 308 00:13:21,220 --> 00:13:22,590 Are you sure I was there? 309 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,000 Yes, I'm sure you were there! 310 00:13:25,968 --> 00:13:27,616 I bought those Wiggles tickets off a scalper 311 00:13:27,630 --> 00:13:30,300 in a very sketchy parking lot. 312 00:13:30,896 --> 00:13:33,590 For five times face value. And you don't remember it? 313 00:13:34,592 --> 00:13:37,250 Oh, oh! Oh, yeah. 314 00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:38,688 Yeah, The Wiggles. 315 00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:41,184 I remem... They-they-they sang. 316 00:13:41,856 --> 00:13:43,270 And wiggled. 317 00:13:49,648 --> 00:13:51,620 All right, I got the diapers. 318 00:13:51,670 --> 00:13:52,992 - Oh, damn. - Oh, damn. 319 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,540 Does that baby ever stop eating? 320 00:13:57,590 --> 00:13:59,240 Tell me about it. 321 00:13:59,298 --> 00:14:00,400 Oh, speaking of which, 322 00:14:00,450 --> 00:14:01,900 the next time you're at the store, 323 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,670 can you get me some nipple cream? 324 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,296 Is that a real thing? 325 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,000 Oh, yeah. 326 00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:10,090 These bad boys take a beating. 327 00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:11,380 Okay, you know what? 328 00:14:11,439 --> 00:14:14,220 I just spent $75 on 12 diapers. 329 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:16,430 I'm-a let the baby's daddy get the nipple cream. 330 00:14:18,580 --> 00:14:19,640 Oh, come on. 331 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,190 You all did this with your moms. 332 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:22,496 Oh, that's nasty. 333 00:14:24,272 --> 00:14:26,770 - Good morning, baby. You hungry? - No! 334 00:14:29,856 --> 00:14:32,128 Hey, uh, where's your brother? 335 00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:35,040 He at home, watching a YouTube video 336 00:14:35,090 --> 00:14:37,120 on how to assemble a Diaper Genie. 337 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,380 L-Let me ask you something. 338 00:14:40,438 --> 00:14:41,720 We're close, right? 339 00:14:41,776 --> 00:14:43,590 Even though I worked a lot when you were little? 340 00:14:44,176 --> 00:14:46,210 Is, uh, something bothering you, Pop? 341 00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:50,790 Well, Dave says that bonding starts 342 00:14:50,816 --> 00:14:52,460 when the baby is born. 343 00:14:52,518 --> 00:14:54,190 Well, I didn't take a paternity leave. 344 00:14:54,218 --> 00:14:55,890 I went right back to work. 345 00:14:55,949 --> 00:14:58,690 And the truth is, he's got me worrying 346 00:14:58,719 --> 00:15:00,850 that I didn't bond with you boys. 347 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:05,350 No, no, w-we did all types of stuff together, man. 348 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,504 I-I remember, when we were little, 349 00:15:07,550 --> 00:15:09,359 you would take us to the drive-in movies. 350 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:10,896 That was fun. 351 00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:13,710 Yeah, yeah. You used to make us lay down in the backseat 352 00:15:13,769 --> 00:15:15,650 so you didn't have to pay for us. 353 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,290 But-but, hey, that-that made it exciting. 354 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,904 Yep, that's why I did it. 355 00:15:22,470 --> 00:15:25,200 And remember you used to get us up 356 00:15:25,220 --> 00:15:27,290 at the crack of dawn on Saturdays 357 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:30,170 and put Pit Stop coupons on everybody's windshields? 358 00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:32,880 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So those were your teenage years. 359 00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:34,930 That's when you start to form a work ethic, you know? 360 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,130 I was in the second grade. 361 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:39,970 Marty was four. 362 00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:41,744 Oh. 363 00:15:41,770 --> 00:15:44,100 Okay, yeah, well, that was a little young. 364 00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:45,750 Okay, yeah, but-but it did, 365 00:15:45,808 --> 00:15:47,300 you know, it did build some character. 366 00:15:47,330 --> 00:15:48,750 I mean, you always said, 367 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,768 "Kickball don't keep the lights on." 368 00:15:51,410 --> 00:15:53,570 Yeah, that sound like me. 369 00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:56,850 Aw. 370 00:15:56,896 --> 00:15:59,530 Look at my happy girl. 371 00:16:01,330 --> 00:16:04,352 Ooh. That was a good burp. 372 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,290 Okay, all right now. 373 00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:08,130 - Okay. - Come on to Grandma. 374 00:16:08,189 --> 00:16:09,330 There we go. 375 00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:13,584 Oh. Come on. 376 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,712 Why do you hate me? 377 00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:17,160 I love you. 378 00:16:17,180 --> 00:16:19,088 I don't know what it is, Mrs. B. 379 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,100 Maybe you're giving "pick me" energy. 380 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,560 What kind of energy am I giving, now? 381 00:16:26,976 --> 00:16:29,640 I don't know, but I'm giving "I apologize" energy, so... 382 00:16:30,850 --> 00:16:34,020 Well, I mean, she was fine until I touched her bottom. 383 00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:35,730 It could be diaper rash. 384 00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,070 It sure could be. 385 00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:39,650 Well, why would you hand me a rashy-ass baby? 386 00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:43,160 She needs ointment. Calvin! 387 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:44,670 Yeah. Yeah, I'm going. 388 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:46,880 I'm going. I'm going, I'm going. 389 00:16:46,912 --> 00:16:49,830 I might as well get a job at the store at this point. 390 00:16:51,296 --> 00:16:53,080 Dave! Let's go! 391 00:16:56,933 --> 00:17:00,550 Associate needed in the fungal ointment aisle. 392 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:03,552 Yeah, that's right, it's fungus this time. 393 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,744 I'm more mushroom than I am man at this point. 394 00:17:08,496 --> 00:17:11,600 - Now, this man is basically shiitake! - Hey. 395 00:17:12,416 --> 00:17:15,650 Dave, calm down, okay? Are you all right? 396 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:16,890 No, I'm not all right. 397 00:17:16,944 --> 00:17:19,250 Grover doesn't remember any of the things that we bonded over. 398 00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:21,570 Have you ever seen Safari Selina on Ice? 399 00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,780 ♪ When you're looking at something far away ♪ 400 00:17:23,838 --> 00:17:25,840 ♪ There's only one thing that you've got to say ♪ 401 00:17:25,899 --> 00:17:28,280 ♪ Telescope, telescope, telescope, hooray! ♪ 402 00:17:29,056 --> 00:17:30,210 You know how long that song was? 403 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,290 Eight minutes. You know many other verses there were? 404 00:17:32,340 --> 00:17:33,440 None! 405 00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:36,550 Okay, so what is your point? 406 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,632 My point is, I've suffered. 407 00:17:39,650 --> 00:17:41,190 And for what? 408 00:17:41,249 --> 00:17:42,769 He doesn't even remember any of it. 409 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:46,020 Well, unfortunately, my boys do remember. 410 00:17:46,070 --> 00:17:49,000 Malcolm remembers me breaking child labor laws 411 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:50,070 when he was seven. 412 00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:55,010 Calvin, you don't need to make up horrible stories 413 00:17:55,068 --> 00:17:56,650 just to make me feel better. 414 00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:00,680 Look, I've always been a workaholic. 415 00:18:00,730 --> 00:18:03,200 I-I just don't want Marty to be like me. 416 00:18:04,144 --> 00:18:07,230 Okay, look, well, you probably don't want to hear this, 417 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:10,210 but it's never too late for... 418 00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:11,960 - skin-to-skin. - Don't you say it. Don't you say skin-to-skin. 419 00:18:12,018 --> 00:18:13,300 Don't you say skin-to-skin! 420 00:18:15,350 --> 00:18:16,800 All right, Calvin, give me a buzz 421 00:18:16,820 --> 00:18:18,960 when it's time to go back to the drugstore. 422 00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:21,000 Don't take your shoes off. 423 00:18:25,008 --> 00:18:26,960 ♪ If you're looking at something far away ♪ 424 00:18:26,992 --> 00:18:29,060 ♪ There's only one thing you've got to say ♪ 425 00:18:29,110 --> 00:18:31,500 ♪ Telescope, telescope, telescope... ♪ 426 00:18:34,940 --> 00:18:36,000 ♪ Hooray. ♪ 427 00:18:39,072 --> 00:18:40,320 You remember. 428 00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:41,650 R-Remember what? 429 00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:44,280 Th-The song. You remember the song. 430 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:45,720 Oh, th... 431 00:18:45,779 --> 00:18:47,800 I don't know where that came from. 432 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:48,950 It's terrible. 433 00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:50,780 I know, isn't it?! 434 00:18:53,670 --> 00:18:55,090 Hey, I got the rash cream. 435 00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:56,470 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 436 00:18:56,528 --> 00:18:58,080 She's holding my finger. 437 00:18:58,130 --> 00:18:59,149 Oh. 438 00:18:59,150 --> 00:19:00,530 You know, that's what I was gonna say 439 00:19:00,570 --> 00:19:02,000 about the paternity leave thing. 440 00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:03,300 Oh, here we go. 441 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,100 No. No, no, no, no. 442 00:19:05,136 --> 00:19:06,550 I want you to take it. 443 00:19:07,504 --> 00:19:10,260 I mean, take all the time that you need. 444 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:13,060 Wow. Where'd this come from? 445 00:19:14,580 --> 00:19:15,760 I'm evolving. 446 00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:21,830 I mean, that little baby squishing your pinky right now, 447 00:19:21,888 --> 00:19:23,900 she's your most important priority, 448 00:19:23,958 --> 00:19:26,030 beyond anything else. 449 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:27,920 Don't worry about the Fusebox, all right? 450 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,370 Stephan can handle the megalodons. 451 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:32,990 Marty! 452 00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:34,440 Good God! 453 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,430 Sorry. 454 00:19:36,470 --> 00:19:38,000 Marty, I got a present for you. 455 00:19:38,030 --> 00:19:40,170 Calvin, eyes up here. 456 00:19:50,070 --> 00:19:51,840 Don't-don't-don't cry. 457 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,030 Don't cry. It's okay. 458 00:19:54,350 --> 00:19:56,416 Oh. Oh. 459 00:19:57,319 --> 00:19:59,070 Um, uh, Marty! 460 00:19:59,128 --> 00:20:01,270 G-Get me some hand sanitizer! 461 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,340 Marty! 462 00:20:04,350 --> 00:20:05,830 Calvin?! 463 00:20:06,624 --> 00:20:07,970 Oh. 464 00:20:08,029 --> 00:20:11,880 It just breaks my heart to hear my Daphne cry. 465 00:20:13,308 --> 00:20:15,880 Okay, shh, shh, shh. Okay. Okay. Okay. 466 00:20:15,939 --> 00:20:19,620 Whether you like me or not, I'm gonna pick you up. 467 00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:21,300 Okay. I know. 468 00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:22,768 D-Don't cry, don't cry. 469 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,128 Don't cry. Don't cry. 470 00:20:24,170 --> 00:20:26,464 I know, baby, I know. 471 00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:27,580 I know. 472 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,520 I know. 473 00:20:32,928 --> 00:20:35,440 You don't hate me. 474 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:38,944 Oh. 475 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,150 You hate the hand sanitizer! 476 00:20:46,910 --> 00:20:49,050 Oh, oh. 477 00:20:49,108 --> 00:20:52,020 Oh, Daphne. 478 00:20:52,064 --> 00:20:55,580 But why didn't you just say that? 479 00:20:57,500 --> 00:21:01,360 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 33861

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