Original subtitles

Our city is in crisis.

We must wake this prisoner from his cryosleep.

Sergeant Mack Tompkins, Chicago PD, from the 21st century.

He'll be a man out of time.

We have no choice.

Only he can stop the psychopath-tiberious rage, who

was also frozen in the past and recently unfrozen.

Unfreezing him in three.

Two.

One.

Sergeant Tompkins, I'm Lieutenant Zanna.

The year is 2421.

You've been frozen in a cryosleep prison for nearly 300 years.

So... my wife and children.

They're gone.

I'm sorry.

I imagine this is very painful.

Well... what about my burrito?

Sorry, what?

I had a leftover burrito in the fridge.

Have that?

Is this guy kidding?

Think of it from his perspective.

To him 300 years feels like 15 minutes ago.

It's gotta be here somewhere.

Don't tell me somebody tossed it.

Whatever food you once had is... long gone.

We need your skills as a cop.

A crisis engulfs our world.

We need... Me to save your bacon?

Get it!

I'm all alone!

My family's gone!

Look.

It's his family.

Oh, no wait.

It's a punch card for a burrito restaurant?

Take me to this place.

Nuclear war wiped out everything on earth.

Okay.

Including that restaurant.

No!

Only at 25 burritos would go before I got one for 10% off.

No!

I made it in a future!

Okay, let's hit!

Let's pimp!

We unfrozen you because we need your help to

stop a serial killer who came from your time.

Tiberious rage.

Tiberious.

I knew him.

I know what I need to do.

Give me a phone.

Oh, we stopped using phones long ago.

Are you sure about this?

Because I'm sure we can't.

Yeah.

How you doing?

Can I get one carne and start a burrito?

Actually, please don't stop.

You there?

Hello?

Hello?

No!

Max, Max, calm down.

You're confused and apparently hungry.

This isn't fair.

Everything I knew is gone.

My wife, my kids, my leather jacket with the skull on the back, please, please.

Tell me you're up.

Your wife and kids?

No.

No, I'm in my jacket.

I had gum in the pocket.

Really good gum.

Oh, what did I have to take my gum away?

Listen, just focus, please.

We tracked Tiberious to this abandoned desalination plant.

He has hostages.

What do you need to take him down?

A gun.

A car.

A quick ride to my old apartment.

I gotta be my goldfish.

Poor guy must be starving.

You're goldfish.

His head, Max, get over.

It's move on.

I'm sure.

Move on from everything I ever loved.

I had stuff.

I had a leather jacket with the skull on the back.

The foil is like the jacket of the burrito.

Wouldn't the tortilla be the jacket?

No, that's the burrito's t-shirt.

Drop it.

Drop the burrito.

Drop the jacket.

We can't help you with any of that.

Can you help us stop that maniac Tiberious?

My ears are burning.

My jacket, you psychopath.

Give me back my jacket.

Oh, no.

It's dangerous.

Thank you, Sergeant.

Yes, it's still fit.

I'm gum stealing the pocket.

No,

I don't think it is.

Still good.

I don't need a few.

videos.

We'll be the god of the sky in Thunder.

Poseidon will be god of the oceans and Hades.

We'll be And still... and eventually Wikipedia.

I want earthquakes.

What?

Is there a Yoshi?

I thought... I thought you like those.

Oh, no, no.

I still want the ocean.

I just want to add earthquakes.

How does that relate to the ocean?

Some earthquakes happen at sea?

But it's not like an ocean space.

I want all to be on-brand, you know?

We each have a theme.

I am to stop.

You're the sea.

Hades is the girl stuff.

I'm the god of the girl stuff.

Thank you.

And if his side is going to start adding things, I want to add a spouse.

That's not really what we're doing here, man.

I will be the god of having a wife.

That doesn't make sense.

If you want to be married, then go on some dates.

Have you been to the underworld?

It's a lot of sad people.

Then you'll have something in common.

I'm not sad.

I'm depressed.

Then I'll got a pet.

Something to chew you up?

A dog, maybe?

How many heads does it have?

One head.

Two?

Three?

Now we're talking.

I don't know why we're talking, but if that appears... I want horses.

Okay.

And to be clear, I don't want a few horses on a ranch or something like that.

I want to be the god of all horses.

Just help me connect the dots.

Oh, there's no connection.

I just like horses as whole.

Can I be the god of all dogs?

No!

You can fight free dogs!

Fine.

Then as god of the underworld, I'm going to charge people to get there.

What?

It'll cost them to die?

We are the Greek gods, not American.

Everyone pays a coin.

Why?

I don't like poor people.

That's great.

I also would like to sometimes be a horse.

Why are you like this?

I would like to sometimes be married.

I'm just fine, guys.

Fine!

Do whatever weird scitzes garbage you want.

Be a horse.

Be married part time.

I got a whole thing worked out with pomegranates.

I just want to finish these assignments.

So that the Greeks don't.

Who to ask for what?

And apparently, if they're in the midst of an earthquake or need new horse shoes,

they can pray to put sight in the god of the sea.

Bingo.

Hey, guys.

Just want to say thanks for making me proud.

We've got to be the god of horses.

It's all I've ever wanted.

I'm really happy and convinced.

I'm actually on.

So sorry.

How do you feel about chickens?

I want to have that makes me invisible.

What do we

do?

You need to jump.

I'll never make it.

I can't do that.

Yes, you can.

Trust me.

I'll catch you.

I promise.

You promise?

I promise.

What was that?

You said you had it.

I thought I did.

There's no time.

That thing is gonna fall.

Jump to me, John.

You have to catch me.

I will.

I promise.

John!

Are you guys here, sweaty?

My hands are so sweaty.

Alright, who's next?

John, look at me.

This is life or death.

Uh-huh.

Okay, I'm gonna count you in and you need to catch me.

I promise.

Okay.

Three, two, one.

John!

I didn't know if he was gonna go on one or if he was gonna go on go.

Okay, fine.

We go on go.

I love it.

Three, two, one, go.

What are you doing?

Pull me up.

Hold on.

I'm gonna sneeze coming.

Pull me up first.

Bless me.

Okay.

Who's that?

Two hands, John.

Two hands.

Here we go.

Yeah!

I got you.

Got him.

Need him your hand, John.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

It didn't work out.

I'm gonna be in on the way down from here.

It's gonna crumble.

We gotta go.

Catch me.

Oh.

Get on.

Oh.

Okay.

Six pounds of John.

Seven times the job.

Just stand back.

I think I can clear it myself, okay?

Hey.

Hey.

Looks like it's just you and me.

I think I'm just gonna stay here.

You can't, Sarah.

You'll die.

Oh.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh, wait a minute.

Before you jump.

Let me move my stuff so you don't slip.

All right.

Stupid backpack with this rope and harness.

John, let's use the rope.

Oh, yes.

All right.

I'm ready.

Throw it.

Look.

Yeah!

Today's have time event is all about saluting our community heroes.

Give it up for the heroes in the community.

All the way on our right.

We have Mark after the tornadoes last year.

Mark sacrificed his job and has spent the past

nine months helping people get back on their feet.

Next to him, we have Jane, a schoolteacher who went back into

her burning school to save every child and the class fish.

Up next.

I shouldn't be here.

Just skip me, please.

So humble.

Up next, we have Steve.

Steve is a father and a husband.

Who recently helped his wife bring in the groceries.

Come

on.

Oh, please.

How did you get nominated for this?

My wife.

I first thought it was nice.

But now I'm realizing it was definitely passive aggressive.

Okay.

Up next to Steve, we have Judy.

Judy has planted and I want to get this number right.

7,435 trees in our community.

And my wonderful team.

Oxygen sponsored by Judy and her team.

Oh, and Steve, it looks like I'm supposed to

point out that your team is at the game as well.

Hi, honey.

That's Steve around.

Just relax into it, Steve.

Don't try too hard.

Now up next, we have Patty.

Patty is a surfer who had her arm bitten off by a shark, out.

But now she saves the sharks.

Well, you know, it felt like my arms were about to

be ripped off carrying in the groceries a little.

Steve.

Patty, don't do that.

No, no, seriously.

My wife buys two gallons of milk at a time.

So it was very heavy.

So she does the shopping too?

Yeah, but with a shopping cart,

maybe I'm sorry.

I'll do more chores around the house.

I promise.

That's a good start, Steve.

Now, moving on.

We have a special gift presentation by Mayor Barnstale.

Mayor.

I have here a $1,000 check written out to Judy and

her team for the further beautification of our city.

Thank you, Judy.

Now, that's a good use of taxpayer dollars.

This next check is written out to Steven to help him with the thing he loves most.

A $1,000 check to the PlayStation store.

Now, that is not a good use of taxpayer dollars.

Okay, okay, honey.

I'm sorry.

I promise.

Starting today, I'm going to turn over a new lead.

I'm loading a dishwasher.

I'm scooping up the cat litter.

I'm going to get a job.

Steve, you don't have a job?

I plan to start looking for one.

Just think you're going to start speed.

Okay, I admit.

It's been a slow couple of months.

Okay, a slow couple of years.

Fine, decade.

But it's all changing now.

Oh, wait, you gave this to me.

I'm going to keep this thing.

Okay, not only do I want to pull my weight because it's the right thing to do.

But because I love you.

And I want to make your life easier.

What are you waiting for?

Go to him.

Oh, man, I didn't recognize you.

Wow.

It's so good to see you.

Oh, good to see you too.

It's been forever.

I didn't know you were back in town.

You know, my mom always teases me that you're the one that got away.

Anyway, are you ready to check out?

Oh, I think I'll use self-check out.

Okay, yes, you're wrong.

Good to see you.

Good to see you.

Oh, yeah.

Headlights shampoo.

Lights removal cone.

Extreme animal strength.

Lights repellent.

It's for my dog.

Yeah.

Lights repellent for humans only.

Oh, it's for my girlfriend.

Lonely man, TV dinner for home.

Okay, unnecessary detail.

Self-hugging sweatshirt for loads of men.

I'm not that lonely.

One book.

Oh.

Good thing it didn't read the title.

How to stop being sad and finally get a girlfriend.

Five rad, strongest, big font addition for bad readers.

Just some light reading.

Milton, are you okay?

You're sweating a lot.

No, barely ever sweat.

Oh, expensive sweating pads.

La la la!

Adult babes.

Wood remover.

Rat food.

Rat clothes.

Little table for rats to eat off of.

Error, help it on the way.

I'll hear it there, Milton.

Oh, no.

I don't have pit rats.

Put your little table for rats to eat off of.

In the bagging area.

Thanks.

You fixed it.

Clippers for extra thick toenails.

Fungal toe cream.

Fungal toe gel.

Anti-fungal socks for stubborn fungus boys.

Mystery ointment.

Mystery!

It's mystery!

Put your mystery ointment in the bagging area.

Toothbrush but for rats.

Dipers for rats.

I do not have pit rats so good work.

That's okay.

Self -greeting birthday card for forgotten birthdays.

Why do we even sell those?

Put your self-greeting birthday card for forgotten birthdays in the bagging area.

Your self-greeting birthday card for forgotten birthdays in the bagging area.

Please don't hit the machine.

Yeah, man, just put your sad card in the bag.

Would you like to donate to children's hospital?

You have selected no to donating money to the children's hospital.

Press okay to confirm.

You do not want to give one measly dollar to the children's hospital.

You have selected no again for the sick children in the hospital.

Please wait for your receipt.

Hey, Kyrie.

You want to go out sometime?

I'm engaged.

Same, same.

I got a rat date.

I mean a hot date.

He is mine.

He is mine.

He is mine.

He is mine.

He is mine.

He is mine.

They were stuck.

This is crazy.