Original subtitles

♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!

♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

Halloween is a night for evil.

It is time for me to take what is mine.

What do you plan, Lord Satan?

On Halloween, we shall open the gates of hell,

rise up to the earth,

and we will rent out the entire W Hotel for an awesome party

and invite a bunch of celebrities!

How big a party are we talking?

Have you seen those rich, spoiled teenage girls

who have massive sweet-16 parties?

That big.

Halloween is about me, and I deserve a party.

This shall be my super sweet 16!

[ Laughs evilly ]

[ Roars ]

[All screaming ]

Minions of hell!

The time has come for us to rise...

for my super sweet 16 Halloween party!

I got Bacardi and Ketel One to sponsor the alcohol.

And I'm calling it... "Hell on Earth 2006."

[ Cheering ]

But now heed my words!

In order to get into the party,

you have to RSVP and get a blue wristband.

Everyone is gonna try to get into this party,

so if don't get your wristband in advance

and you're not wearing your wristband at the door,

you're not getting in!

[ Screaming, gasping ]

And now know this!

It's a costume party, so you have to wear a costume --

but nobody better show up as The Crow.

I'm serious!

Every costume party, there's like 14 guys

come dressed like The Crow

'cause they want to look hot and hook up.

It's lame.

If you come dressed as The Crow,

you're not getting into the party!

[ Murmuring, gasping ]

Go now and prepare!

If you miss my party, you are a lo-o-o-ser!

[ Laughs evilly ]

Oh, boy, a Halloween party up on earth!

I can't believe he got the entire W Hotel!

This is going to be the best Halloween ever!

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

Go ahead, Kyle. Do it.

I'm doing it!

No, don't do it!

What's the big deal, Kyle?

You just look in the mirror and say the name three times.

Biggie Smalls.

Biggie Smalls.

See? You're scared.

Because you know if you say it a third time,

he's gonna show up and shoot you in the face.

[ Clucking ]

Fine! Then you do it, you're so tough.

- I've done it lots of times. - Prove it!

[ Chuckles ]

Biggie Smalls.

Biggie Smalls.

This is dumb, you guys. Let's do something else.

- You're afraid to do it, too! - I am not!

Then do it, if you're not yellow!

Biggie Smalls.

Biggie Smalls.

- Biggie -- - Hey, fellas!

[ Screaming ]

You should come downstairs. Stan's mom made p-pizza.

- Let's go! - Let's go!

Fun.

Oh, my God. I crapped my pants.

You guys, I crapped my pants!

[ Chuckles ] You guys! You guys, check it out!

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

Satan, I must speak with thee.

What is it?

You've invited so many celebrities on earth

to your party that people in hell can't get wristbands.

Well, I have to invite celebrities

or else my party won't be cool.

Satan, I warn thee.

Do not throw this party at the cost of alienating your friends.

I'm not alienating my friends!

I know they come first!

I hope for your sake that's true.

You've never thrown a party of this magnitude before, Satan.

Be wary.

[ Choir vocalizing ]

Halloween has always been a time of evil and darkness.

But now it appears that Satan will literally be among us.

He is bringing hell here to Los Angeles.

And from what we understand...

the gathering is going to be... completely off the hook.

How can this be happening right now?

There's more.

None of us are invited.

[All murmuring ]

None?

Satan mocks us.

His party must be stopped.

Yes. We cannot let evil take over our city, even for a night.

What can we do?

Tomorrow night, after all of Satan's guests have arrived,

we'll call in a complaint about how many people are there.

We'll see how long Satan's party lasts

after the fire marshal shows up.

♪ That's why I love to brush my teeth ♪

♪ I love 'em pearly white ♪

♪ Oral hygiene can't be beat ♪

♪ I truly love to brush my teeth ♪

Biggie Smalls.

Biggie Smalls.

Biggie Smalls.

What the [bleep] is this?

[ Screams ]

Hey!

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

Butters, we told you to be in bed!

What are you doing?

I summoned Biggie Smalls, the hip-hop rapper!

You had a nightmare.

Turn around and get back in your room right now!

But, Dad, he's gonna bust a cap in my ass!

Well, you want to get shot or you want to be grounded?

[ Screaming ]

Honestly, why do you let him watch

that darned Black Entertainment Channel?

So I want the deejay to set up over here.

And then the main dance-floor area

can be this whole area right here.

What about valets?

How will people be arriving from hell?

Oh, it's like a dimensional vortex gate thingie.

They won't have cars.

But we're probably gonna want security

at the dimensional vortex gate.

I want all the servers dressed in skimpy outfits

serving all the hors d'oeuvres.

This is getting really expensive.

Shut up! It's Halloween! This is my night!

Then at midnight, for dessert,

I'm thinking over here we bring out

a huge chocolate fondue fountain.

Oh, yeah.

P. Diddy had his birthday party here a couple years back,

and he had one of those.

Oh, screw that, then.

I don't want a fondue fountain if P. Diddy had one.

Does it matter?

Yes, it matters!

I don't want to do it if Diddy did it.

How about a doughnut machine?

- Did Diddy do it? - Diddy did do it.

- A full ice-cream bar! - Diddy did it.

Damn it! What didn't Diddy do?!

Wait.

I know.

Yes. It's perfect.

At midnight, all the lights go down, the music stops.

And then we wheel in... a Ferrari.

Only it isn't a Ferrari.

It's a cake.

And everyone gets a piece.

A Ferrari cake.

Diddy didn't do it.

Satan, really, the logistics of getting a cake

the size of a Ferrari made in time --

This party has to be the bomb! Don't you get it?!

When everyone sees the Ferrari cake,

they will shudder and know my greatness.

Hear me, demons!

Lord Satan hath demanded a Ferrari cake!

Now I will take charge of Halloween

and call upon the spirits of hell's most evil souls!

Ted Bundy!

Jeffrey Dahmer.

And John Wayne Gacy.

You shall rise once again to walk the earth.

For tomorrow is Halloween, and I need you...

to pick up Satan's Ferrari cake and deliver it to the W Hotel.

No problem.

We can handle it.

Heed my words.

Satan's entire Halloween depends on this Ferrari cake.

Fail, and you will know his greatest wrath.

[ Hinges squeaking ]

[ Gun cocks ]

You punk-ass fool!

Aah!

Why'd you summon me?

P-P-Please don't ice me, homey.

You better have a good reason, sucka!

I just -- I was seeing if it works!

Damn!

Every Halloween I gots to deal with this [bleep]

I'm in hell, minding my own business,

and the next thing I know, I'm in some kid's bathroom!

I-I apologize, Mr. Smalls!

You don't understand, fool!

- I ain't missing the party! - What party?!

I already got my wristband! See?

You've got to get me to Los Angeles.

Well, can't you just take a plane?!

How, punk?

We don't use money in hell, nigga!

Well, damn, nigger, there's got to be some way!

This is your fault, homey.

You've got to get me to that party in L.A.,

or I'm gonna smoke your ass!

Oh, hamburgers!

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

Yes. Yes, Satan.

Your Halloween costume turned out perfect.

Yeah, it's okay.

But everyone thinks Zazul's schoolgirl costume is hotter.

[ Growls ]

Zazul, switch costumes with me.

Satan, Zazul worked really hard on his costume.

Nobody can look hotter than me!

It's my super sweet 16 Halloween party!

Take it off, Zazul.

And what about my Ferrari cake?

Where's the Ferrari cake?

Relax. It's being picked up from the bakery.

[ Yello's "Oh Yeah" plays ]

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Chika-chika ♪

All right. This is the place.

Now, remember, you numskulls,

this Ferrari cake is really important for Satan's party.

So don't louse it up.

Who's lousing?

Come here. Shut up!

[ Bell jingles ]

Can I help you?

We're here to pick up the Ferrari cake.

Oh, yes. It's just about finished.

What kind of truck are we loading it onto?

We got that flatbed.

Okay. We're just gonna need to --

[ Groaning ]

Gacy, you numskull! What'd you kill him for?!

I didn't mean to!

- Give me that! - Ooh!

What's the matter with you? Take this!

Everything all right?

[ Groaning ]

You nincompoop! That was the baker!

He startled me!

Gacy!

[ Groaning ]

What'd you kill him for?

Sit down!

I'm a victim of circumstance.

Ah! Who you hittin'?

- Oh! - Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk.

Get outta here. Be quiet.

Waah!

You idiots.

Now who's gonna help us load the Ferrari cake onto the flatbed?

[ Siren wails ]

Did your son say anything before he disappeared, Mrs. Stotch?

He just said something about summoning Biggie Smalls.

Dude.

D-D-Dude.

- Dad! Dad! - What?

If you look in the mirror and say Biggie Smalls three times,

he doesn't come and get you, right?

Biggie Smalls?

You know -- "Escargot, my car go, 118,

sippin' on booze at the House of Blues."

All right, boys.

I know it's Halloween,

but you can't summon dead rappers in the mirror.

How do you know?

I'm a geologist.

He's right. It's just a spooky story.

Aah! Then how come you couldn't do it?

I can do it. I just got --

Look, it just doesn't matter, because it's not true.

How can we be sure?

How do we know Butters isn't with Biggie right now,

being tormented by him?

♪ I'm going, going back, back to Cali, Cali ♪

♪ Unh, yeah ♪

♪ I'm going, going back, back to Cali, Cali ♪

Yo, dawg, keep it down!

Yo, dawg, can't I just go right back home after the flight

so I don't get grounded?

Oh, no. You summoned my spirit.

You're getting me all the way to the party.

As long as I get to the party in time to party,

everything will be all right.

Hey!

...Smalls.

Oh, God damn it!

[ Screaming ]

- It does work! - Holy crap!

That's it. Now I'm pissed!

[ Screaming ]

[ Horns honking ]

[ Crowd cheering ]

[ Up-tempo music playing ]

Hey, everybody! Check out Hitler!

He's the "Can you hear me now" guy!

- Oh! - Yeah!

[ German accent ] Can you hear me now?

Can you hear me now?

[ Laughter ]

MAN: Everyone quiet!

Here he is -- the man of the night, Satan!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Get out of the way, Hitler!

You're ruining my entrance. Gawl!

Yes. Hello? Is this the fire department?

- Get 'em, get 'em, get 'em! - Yeah, tell 'em.

Okay! Shh! Shh!

I need to make a complaint to the fire marshal.

He's what?

Where?

Damn your evil heart, Satan!

What?

The fire marshal is at the party!

Satan invited him!

Satan's trickery knows no bounds!

That's it.

One way or another, we're crashing this party!

[ Music continues ]

This is V.I.P.

Don't just let anybody into my V.I.P. area, okay?

Hey, Satan, you got a little problem.

What?

Somebody showed up in a Crocodile Hunter costume.

It's really offending some of the other guests.

Oh, geez.

Hey, uh, hi. Listen, dude.

You know, the whole "Crocodile Hunter" thing,

it's -- it's just a little soon, you know?

I mean, he just died a few weeks ago,

and it's just not super cool.

You got to leave.

But it's me, Satan -- Steve Irwin.

I am the Crocodile Hunter.

Oh.

Oh, but then, dude, no costume.

Sorry. You got to go.

Wait! I thought we were friends!

Oh, hey, Sinatra!

Demonius! Demonius, we have a problem!

What is it?

The Ferrari cake -- It isn't here!

What? Don't even tell me that!

It was never delivered to the hotel.

Zeebob, fetch my BlackBerry!

That Ferrari cake must get here by midnight!

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

Do you gentlemen need a hand?

- [ Grunts ] - Gacy!

What'd you do that for?

I did it for Dahmer!

For Dahmer?

Yeah! He likes having sex with dead bodies.

[ Squishing ]

Dahmer, stop having sex with them intestines!

What good are intestines if you can't have sex with 'em?

We got to get rid of this body before anyone sees it!

[ Buzzing ]

[ Creaking ]

Now get those to the trash can.

Stop eating that!

Leave him alone!

- [ Grunts ] - Cut it --

- Oh! - Come here, ya --

- Oh! - Oh!

- Mmm-uh! - Mmm!

- There. - Ooh!

Oh!

The cake!

Oh, no!

Mmm! Ferrari!

- Oh! - What's the matter with you?

It's ruined!

We're gonna get it now.

[ Dance music plays ]

This is a really extravagant party, Satan!

I know! But just wait till midnight.

You're all not gonna believe what's coming for dessert!

[ Laughs evilly ]

Uh, these aren't the right wristbands.

Yes, they are.

Then how come they say "Knott's Berry Farm"?

In the name of Christ, just let us in!

We're really sorry, Mr. Smalls.

Not as sorry as you're gonna be if I completely miss the party!

Here you go -- Flight 72 to Los Angeles,

boarding in 10 minutes.

See, you can still make it for the end of the party.

Yeah, I'm just gonna be pissed if I miss --

What the...

No! No!

...Smalls.

No way!

Mother[bleep] God damn it!

That's pretty cool. Hey -- Hey, Sharon.

Cool this, sucka!

Aah! Oh!

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

All right. Listen, you mugs. It's now 11:30.

That means we only have 20 minutes

to bake a new Ferrari cake.

No problem.

It just so happens I went to an Italian cooking school.

Yeah? Why'd you quit?

There weren't enough Italians to eat.

Ooh!

Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk!

- Aah, aah! - Now get over here.

All right. What's the recipe call for first?

Ten thousand eggs.

Gacy, go get 10,000 eggs.

You get 'em.

Shut up!

Nyaaaah!

Oh! Oh, a wise guy, eh?

[ Screaming ]

How's that?

Hey, leave him alone!

- [ Screams ] - Nyaaa!

Try that again.

Nyaaaa!

[ Groans ]

- What happened? - Shut up!

[ Gagging ]

[ Clang, birds chirping ]

[ Up-tempo music playing ]

- [ Laughter ] - Can you do it? Can you do it?

He can't do it! He can't do it!

All right! Be quiet!

Biggie Smalls.

Biggie Smalls.

Oh, I can't do it. I'm too freaked out!

[ Laughter ]

What do we do? It's midnight!

The Ferrari cake never arrived!

This is terrible!

It's okay!

It's okay. I found a backup.

Go ahead and start the ceremony.

[ Music stops ]

Your attention, please. It is now midnight.

Time for Satan's special surprise!

[ Crowd murmuring ]

I wonder what this is gonna be.

Just you wait.

[ Engine revving ]

Yes. Here it comes!

ZAZUL: Ladies and gentlemen, a fully edible Acura cake!

[ Cheering ]

Acura?

But I wanted a Ferrari!

We did the best we could. There was a problem.

Acuras are really nice.

It's not the car I wanted!

The whole party's ruined!

It doesn't matter. Your guests are having fun!

They don't care!

It's not about them!

[ Echoing ] It's all about me!

Wow. What a jerk.

Come on, Helen. Let's just go back to hell.

I'm suddenly not so hungry for Acura cake.

Oh, God. What's happened to me?

I've never been this terrible before.

By trying to have a party

like those spoiled, rich teenage girls on MTV,

I've become like one of them.

Satan, don't be so hard on yourself.

You're not as bad as they are.

But I am.

Throwing people out, making a big entrance,

having these stupid pictures of me all over.

Halloween is supposed to be for everyone.

Everybody, I'm sorry.

This party is for you.

It's for all of you who make my life so special.

If I don't realize that,

then I'm no better than a rich American teenage girl.

Open the doors!

Let everyone in, wristband or no!

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

[ Cheering ]

Whoo-hoo!

Uh, excuse me, ma'am.

C-Can I borrow that?

[ Up-tempo music playing ]

Biggie Smalls, Biggie Smalls, Biggie Smalls.

- What the... - Thanks.

I am so sick of this.

Wait. I'm at the party!

Sure, homey. I got your back, yo.

And it's not too late.

Hey, why don't you come in with me?

What the heck?

I'm gonna get grounded anyway. Might as well!

[ Mid-tempo hip-hop playing ]