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1
00:00:11,516 --> 00:00:14,853
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:14,978 --> 00:00:16,563
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:16,688 --> 00:00:18,231
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:18,356 --> 00:00:21,443
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:21,568 --> 00:00:23,153
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:23,278 --> 00:00:24,589
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:24,613 --> 00:00:28,033
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:28,158 --> 00:00:30,994
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
9
00:00:31,119 --> 00:00:35,832
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:35,931 --> 00:00:38,976
[ Dramatic music plays ]
11
00:00:42,438 --> 00:00:46,192
CARTMAN: Oh, dude.
I just took the biggest crap!
12
00:00:46,317 --> 00:00:47,860
Hey, where are you guys?
13
00:00:47,985 --> 00:00:50,237
STAN:
We're over here by the cart!
14
00:00:51,655 --> 00:00:52,655
Okay.
I'm back.
15
00:00:52,740 --> 00:00:54,742
Dude, we've been waiting
forever!
16
00:00:54,867 --> 00:00:56,911
Well, I'm sorry.
I had to take a dump!
17
00:00:57,036 --> 00:00:58,276
KYLE:
If you didn't eat so much,
18
00:00:58,329 --> 00:01:00,249
you wouldn't have diarrhea
all the time, fat-ass.
19
00:01:00,331 --> 00:01:02,792
Hey, I don't need to take
any lip from a frickin' girl!
20
00:01:02,917 --> 00:01:04,460
KYLE:
Mrph rmhmhm rm rmph.
21
00:01:04,585 --> 00:01:06,462
- [ Laughs ]
- [ Chuckles ] Totally!
22
00:01:06,587 --> 00:01:09,090
Come on. We have to finish
the quest in Stonehaven.
23
00:01:09,215 --> 00:01:11,717
STAN'S DAD:
Stan? Stan?
24
00:01:11,842 --> 00:01:13,385
Hang on, guys.
My dad wants something.
25
00:01:13,511 --> 00:01:16,055
- Stan!
- What?!
26
00:01:16,180 --> 00:01:18,182
You've been on your computer
all weekend.
27
00:01:18,307 --> 00:01:20,559
Shouldn't you go out
and socialize with your friends?
28
00:01:20,684 --> 00:01:22,394
I am socializing, r-tard.
29
00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,439
I'm logged on to an MMORPG with
people from all over the world
30
00:01:25,564 --> 00:01:28,275
and getting XP with my party
using TeamSpeak.
31
00:01:30,903 --> 00:01:32,780
I'm not an r-tard.
32
00:01:33,906 --> 00:01:35,908
All right.
Sorry, guys.
33
00:01:36,033 --> 00:01:37,033
So, where to now?
34
00:01:37,076 --> 00:01:38,744
KYLE:
See where I am? It's this way.
35
00:01:38,869 --> 00:01:40,138
CARTMAN:
Yeah. Come on. Let's go.
36
00:01:40,162 --> 00:01:41,872
Right-click on me to follow.
37
00:01:41,997 --> 00:01:45,709
I am the mightiest dwarf
in all of Azeroth!
38
00:01:45,835 --> 00:01:47,920
Wow! Look at all these people
playing right now!
39
00:01:48,045 --> 00:01:49,046
Yeah.
It's bullcrap.
40
00:01:49,171 --> 00:01:51,382
I'll bet half of these people
are Koreans.
41
00:01:51,507 --> 00:01:53,884
Oh, crap!
It's that guy again!
42
00:01:55,344 --> 00:01:56,679
Who is this?
43
00:01:56,804 --> 00:01:58,490
STAN: This is the guy
that kept killing us last night
44
00:01:58,514 --> 00:01:59,723
after you went to bed!
45
00:01:59,849 --> 00:02:01,559
CARTMAN:
Get out of here, asshole!
46
00:02:01,684 --> 00:02:03,328
He's a way higher level than us.
It isn't fair.
47
00:02:03,352 --> 00:02:04,352
KYLE:
It's all right.
48
00:02:04,436 --> 00:02:06,272
He can't kill us
unless we agree to duel.
49
00:02:06,939 --> 00:02:09,358
[ Groans ]
50
00:02:09,483 --> 00:02:11,694
Oh, my God!
He killed Kenny!
51
00:02:11,819 --> 00:02:13,237
You bastard!
52
00:02:13,362 --> 00:02:14,362
[ Grunts ]
53
00:02:14,405 --> 00:02:15,739
[ Groans ]
54
00:02:15,865 --> 00:02:17,908
[ Grunts ]
55
00:02:18,033 --> 00:02:19,618
Don't you
have better things to do
56
00:02:19,743 --> 00:02:21,162
than going online
killing people?!
57
00:02:22,705 --> 00:02:25,749
No! I don't want to have to
start over at the graveyard! No!
58
00:02:25,875 --> 00:02:27,251
[ Groans ]
59
00:02:29,128 --> 00:02:30,713
That son of a bitch!
60
00:02:30,838 --> 00:02:32,131
Who is that guy?
61
00:02:32,256 --> 00:02:36,177
Whoever he is,
he is one tough badass.
62
00:02:36,302 --> 00:02:39,180
[ Dramatic music playing ]
63
00:02:41,682 --> 00:02:43,767
[ Telephone ringing ]
64
00:02:43,893 --> 00:02:45,477
"World of Warcraft"
support line.
65
00:02:45,603 --> 00:02:47,563
Yeah. We bought your game
and play it online.
66
00:02:47,688 --> 00:02:48,688
But every time we log in,
67
00:02:48,772 --> 00:02:50,250
some other player comes in
and kills us.
68
00:02:50,274 --> 00:02:52,193
Oh.
That shouldn't happen.
69
00:02:52,318 --> 00:02:54,546
We designed the game so that
players have to agree to a duel
70
00:02:54,570 --> 00:02:55,850
before they can kill each other.
71
00:02:55,905 --> 00:02:57,345
Yeah. Well, this guy
does it anyways!
72
00:02:57,406 --> 00:02:58,616
He's a goddamn butthole!
73
00:02:58,741 --> 00:03:00,159
Really?
That's odd.
74
00:03:00,284 --> 00:03:02,786
More people calling in about
their characters getting killed.
75
00:03:02,912 --> 00:03:03,787
Oh, no.
76
00:03:03,913 --> 00:03:06,123
Well, we'll certainly keep
a lookout for that player
77
00:03:06,248 --> 00:03:07,750
and ban him from the network.
78
00:03:07,875 --> 00:03:09,627
Better tell the guys upstairs.
79
00:03:11,003 --> 00:03:13,756
Fellow board members,
we have a problem.
80
00:03:13,881 --> 00:03:15,633
Somebody in
the World of Warcraft
81
00:03:15,758 --> 00:03:18,260
is ignoring the world's rules
82
00:03:18,385 --> 00:03:21,722
and is going around
killing innocent players.
83
00:03:21,847 --> 00:03:24,350
- [ Dramatic music plays ]
- Why kill innocent players?
84
00:03:24,475 --> 00:03:27,019
The game is about
finishing quests.
85
00:03:27,144 --> 00:03:29,271
We've got to delete him
from the servers.
86
00:03:29,396 --> 00:03:30,397
We can't.
87
00:03:30,522 --> 00:03:31,690
Whoever this player is,
88
00:03:31,815 --> 00:03:34,026
he's played "World of Warcraft"
so much
89
00:03:34,151 --> 00:03:37,196
that he has reached a level
we thought unreachable.
90
00:03:37,321 --> 00:03:39,949
He is actually able to kill
our admins,
91
00:03:40,074 --> 00:03:42,201
and he grows stronger every day.
92
00:03:42,826 --> 00:03:43,911
Jesus.
93
00:03:44,036 --> 00:03:45,454
I've got to get home!
94
00:03:45,579 --> 00:03:48,123
My kids are playing
"World of Warcraft" right now!
95
00:03:48,249 --> 00:03:52,211
Jim, your kids' characters
are already dead.
96
00:03:52,878 --> 00:03:54,296
No.
97
00:03:54,421 --> 00:03:56,090
No.
98
00:03:56,215 --> 00:03:59,301
They just started playing!
99
00:03:59,426 --> 00:04:01,720
What kind of person
would do this?
100
00:04:01,845 --> 00:04:03,514
Only one kind.
101
00:04:03,639 --> 00:04:06,308
Whoever this person is, he has
played "World of Warcraft"
102
00:04:06,433 --> 00:04:10,562
nearly every hour of every day
for the past year and a half.
103
00:04:10,688 --> 00:04:14,733
Gentlemen, we are dealing with
someone here who...
104
00:04:14,858 --> 00:04:17,027
has absolutely no life.
105
00:04:17,152 --> 00:04:19,071
[ Dramatic music plays ]
106
00:04:19,196 --> 00:04:22,324
How do you kill
that which has no life?
107
00:04:27,913 --> 00:04:30,291
Randy, you working on
that sediment analysis?
108
00:04:30,416 --> 00:04:31,416
Not now, Nelson.
109
00:04:31,458 --> 00:04:33,085
I just joined a big party
of night elves,
110
00:04:33,210 --> 00:04:35,879
and we're gonna explore
the Tower of Azora together.
111
00:04:36,005 --> 00:04:37,381
Is that a computer game?
112
00:04:37,506 --> 00:04:40,009
No, r-tard.
It's an MMORPG.
113
00:04:40,134 --> 00:04:41,653
These are real people
I'm playing with.
114
00:04:41,677 --> 00:04:44,054
See?
I'm a hunter, level 2.
115
00:04:44,179 --> 00:04:45,699
I can chat
with all these other people.
116
00:04:45,806 --> 00:04:47,516
I can even wave to this guy.
See?
117
00:04:47,641 --> 00:04:48,726
Hello!
118
00:04:48,851 --> 00:04:51,854
In the outside world,
I'm a simple geologist.
119
00:04:51,979 --> 00:04:53,397
But in here...
120
00:04:53,522 --> 00:04:56,692
I am Falcorn,
defender of the alliance.
121
00:04:56,817 --> 00:04:58,569
I have braved
the Fargodeep Mine,
122
00:04:58,694 --> 00:05:00,414
defeated the bloodfish
at Jerod's Landing --
123
00:05:00,446 --> 00:05:02,489
[ Groans, sighs ]
124
00:05:04,408 --> 00:05:08,620
Hm. Looks like that guy
just killed you.
125
00:05:09,121 --> 00:05:10,247
What?!
126
00:05:10,372 --> 00:05:11,623
Why?
127
00:05:11,749 --> 00:05:12,749
Why?!
128
00:05:13,334 --> 00:05:15,794
My friends, as you all know,
129
00:05:15,919 --> 00:05:17,963
some giant butthole keeps
logging on to Warcraft
130
00:05:18,088 --> 00:05:19,548
and killing all our characters.
131
00:05:19,673 --> 00:05:21,508
The past four nights
we've tried to play,
132
00:05:21,633 --> 00:05:22,760
he shows up and kills us.
133
00:05:22,885 --> 00:05:25,304
He killed my character
right in the middle of a quest!
134
00:05:25,429 --> 00:05:26,597
Mine too!
135
00:05:26,722 --> 00:05:28,908
We've learned that the four
of us can't fight him alone.
136
00:05:28,932 --> 00:05:32,644
But if we all log in together,
we might have a chance.
137
00:05:32,770 --> 00:05:33,854
Hey! Yeah!
138
00:05:33,979 --> 00:05:36,523
We can really stick it
to that ass m-munch.
139
00:05:36,648 --> 00:05:37,648
Are you guys dumb?
140
00:05:37,691 --> 00:05:39,360
We can't beat him,
even with all of us.
141
00:05:39,485 --> 00:05:41,403
- It's a waste of time.
- Dude, we have to try.
142
00:05:41,528 --> 00:05:43,322
I've got better things to do.
143
00:05:43,447 --> 00:05:44,531
Clyde! Clyde!
144
00:05:44,656 --> 00:05:46,700
If you had a chance right now
to go back in time
145
00:05:46,825 --> 00:05:49,453
and stop Hitler,
wouldn't you do it?
146
00:05:49,578 --> 00:05:51,246
I mean,
I personally wouldn't stop him
147
00:05:51,372 --> 00:05:53,391
because I think he was awesome,
but you would, right?
148
00:05:53,415 --> 00:05:55,167
I'm just gonna stop playing.
149
00:05:55,292 --> 00:05:57,228
When Hitler rose to power,
there were a lot of people
150
00:05:57,252 --> 00:05:58,754
who just stopped playing.
151
00:05:58,879 --> 00:06:01,173
You know who those people were?
The French.
152
00:06:01,298 --> 00:06:02,383
Are you French, Clyde?
153
00:06:02,508 --> 00:06:03,509
No.
154
00:06:03,634 --> 00:06:05,803
Voulez-vous coucher
avec moi, Clyde?
155
00:06:05,928 --> 00:06:07,721
All right! All right!
I'll do it!
156
00:06:07,846 --> 00:06:08,931
So what's the p-plan?
157
00:06:09,056 --> 00:06:09,932
All right,
158
00:06:10,057 --> 00:06:12,518
Log in tonight from your
computers at precisely 7:30.
159
00:06:12,643 --> 00:06:13,519
We will meet here,
160
00:06:13,644 --> 00:06:15,372
on the plains of the
Elwynn forest near Westfall.
161
00:06:15,396 --> 00:06:17,314
My friends, to victory!
162
00:06:17,439 --> 00:06:19,191
ALL:
To victory!
163
00:06:19,316 --> 00:06:21,735
I don't play
"World of Warcraft."
164
00:06:22,820 --> 00:06:24,980
Butters, you said you're
on your computer all the time.
165
00:06:25,030 --> 00:06:27,825
Yeah, but I'm playing
"Hello Kitty Island Adventure."
166
00:06:29,410 --> 00:06:31,662
Butters,
go buy "World of Warcraft,"
167
00:06:31,787 --> 00:06:34,068
install it on your computer,
and join the online sensation
168
00:06:34,164 --> 00:06:35,374
before we all murder you.
169
00:06:35,499 --> 00:06:38,961
Oh. Oh, all right.
All right, then.
170
00:06:39,086 --> 00:06:41,296
[ Dramatic music plays ]
171
00:06:45,717 --> 00:06:47,469
CARTMAN: All right, you guys!
This is it!
172
00:06:47,594 --> 00:06:48,804
When the attack begins,
173
00:06:48,929 --> 00:06:50,848
all warriors click
on "defensive stance."
174
00:06:50,973 --> 00:06:53,892
Everyone else wait for Craig
to cast his intellect buff.
175
00:06:54,017 --> 00:06:55,394
- TOKEN: Okay!
- JASON: Got it.
176
00:06:55,519 --> 00:06:56,937
The battle is sure to be long,
177
00:06:57,062 --> 00:06:59,022
so make sure you all have
your special abilities
178
00:06:59,148 --> 00:07:00,357
macroed to your keyboards.
179
00:07:00,482 --> 00:07:03,235
JIMMY: All right, Eric.
You can c-c-c-count on us.
180
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:04,611
TIMMY:
Timmy!
181
00:07:04,736 --> 00:07:06,780
This shall be a day
for all to remember!
182
00:07:06,905 --> 00:07:09,158
Let us bravely charge
the fields of Azeroth!
183
00:07:09,283 --> 00:07:11,076
- From which --
- BUTTERS: Hey, fellas!
184
00:07:11,201 --> 00:07:13,829
Boy, this is neato, huh?
185
00:07:13,954 --> 00:07:16,081
[ Birds chirping ]
186
00:07:16,206 --> 00:07:18,459
Butters, what the hell
are you doing?
187
00:07:18,584 --> 00:07:21,336
I got "World of Warcraft"
like you said.
188
00:07:21,462 --> 00:07:23,255
You can't be the dwarf
character, Butters.
189
00:07:23,380 --> 00:07:24,380
I'm the dwarf.
190
00:07:24,465 --> 00:07:26,425
Well, there's only like
four races to choose from.
191
00:07:26,508 --> 00:07:27,384
So pick another one!
192
00:07:27,509 --> 00:07:28,844
I'm the dwarf,
you stupid asshole!
193
00:07:28,969 --> 00:07:31,638
Log out, create a new character,
and log back in!
194
00:07:31,763 --> 00:07:33,432
I like
"Hello Kitty Island Adventure"
195
00:07:33,557 --> 00:07:34,683
a lot more than this stuff.
196
00:07:34,808 --> 00:07:36,059
Come on!
Let's do this!
197
00:07:36,185 --> 00:07:38,687
CRAIG: Yeah. My mom says
I have to be in bed at 9:30.
198
00:07:39,396 --> 00:07:41,023
Then let's move out!
199
00:07:41,148 --> 00:07:42,858
[All shouting ]
200
00:07:42,983 --> 00:07:46,069
[ Music continues ]
201
00:07:49,198 --> 00:07:50,908
[ Grunts ]
202
00:07:51,992 --> 00:07:54,912
[All groaning ]
203
00:07:55,537 --> 00:07:57,331
Look!
There he is!
204
00:07:57,456 --> 00:07:59,374
Everyone hold!
205
00:08:01,418 --> 00:08:02,503
He's targeting us!
206
00:08:02,628 --> 00:08:04,004
Prepare to charge!
207
00:08:04,129 --> 00:08:07,049
Scroll over him
with your mouse cursors...
208
00:08:07,174 --> 00:08:09,468
and... right-click!
209
00:08:09,593 --> 00:08:11,261
[All shouting ]
210
00:08:13,388 --> 00:08:14,264
What the...
211
00:08:14,389 --> 00:08:16,350
Oh, Jesus!
He summoned scorpions!
212
00:08:16,475 --> 00:08:19,228
[ Shouting in distance ]
213
00:08:19,353 --> 00:08:22,022
[All shouting, groaning ]
214
00:08:24,191 --> 00:08:26,401
Aah!
I'm burning!
215
00:08:26,527 --> 00:08:28,695
Oh, Jesus!
I'm burning!
216
00:08:28,820 --> 00:08:31,281
Rm!
Mrph rm!
217
00:08:31,406 --> 00:08:34,034
Kenny's down.
K-Kenny is down!
218
00:08:34,159 --> 00:08:35,911
TWEEK:
[ Screaming ]
219
00:08:36,036 --> 00:08:38,914
IKE:
I'm gonna poop in my pants.
220
00:08:39,039 --> 00:08:39,915
Ike, look out!
221
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,793
- [ Grunts ]
- Aah! Kyle!
222
00:08:44,294 --> 00:08:47,130
All right, Clyde!
Hit him with your crossbow!
223
00:08:48,257 --> 00:08:49,925
Hit him now, Clyde!
224
00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:51,343
Clyde?!
225
00:08:51,468 --> 00:08:52,719
Clyde!
226
00:08:52,844 --> 00:08:55,347
Clyde!
Clyde, you asshole!
227
00:08:55,472 --> 00:08:56,974
God damn it!
We lost Clyde!
228
00:08:59,935 --> 00:09:02,563
Hey, Stan,
can I play with you guys?
229
00:09:02,688 --> 00:09:03,397
Dad?
230
00:09:03,522 --> 00:09:05,232
Yeah.
I'm playing from the office.
231
00:09:05,357 --> 00:09:07,276
Dad, get off our TeamSpeak line!
232
00:09:07,401 --> 00:09:09,403
[ Groans ]
233
00:09:09,528 --> 00:09:10,612
That's it.
I'm dead.
234
00:09:10,737 --> 00:09:12,698
[ Grunts ]
235
00:09:12,823 --> 00:09:14,866
That's it.
Screw this game.
236
00:09:14,992 --> 00:09:16,451
No!
Leave me alone!
237
00:09:16,577 --> 00:09:18,787
Don't -- Aah!
238
00:09:22,749 --> 00:09:24,668
God [bleep] damn it!
239
00:09:24,793 --> 00:09:26,003
[ Down-tempo music playing ]
240
00:09:26,128 --> 00:09:28,130
[ Farts ]
241
00:09:29,590 --> 00:09:30,799
Oh, Jesus.
242
00:09:30,924 --> 00:09:32,551
- Oh, God, no.
- [ Keys clicking ]
243
00:09:32,676 --> 00:09:34,136
What?
244
00:09:34,261 --> 00:09:37,180
He's just finished killing
every single player
245
00:09:37,306 --> 00:09:38,849
in the Arathi Highlands.
246
00:09:38,974 --> 00:09:40,809
How many people's characters
were in there?
247
00:09:40,934 --> 00:09:42,352
Over 5,000.
248
00:09:43,770 --> 00:09:45,856
There are over 7 million people
249
00:09:45,981 --> 00:09:47,566
who log on
to "World of Warcraft."
250
00:09:47,691 --> 00:09:49,610
Are you telling me
all those people's characters
251
00:09:49,735 --> 00:09:50,735
are going to die
252
00:09:50,819 --> 00:09:53,030
and there's nothing we can do
to save them?!
253
00:09:53,155 --> 00:09:55,449
Yes, and it won't be long
254
00:09:55,574 --> 00:09:57,374
before everyone gets really,
really frustrated
255
00:09:57,409 --> 00:09:59,119
and stops playing altogether.
256
00:09:59,244 --> 00:10:02,789
Gentlemen, this could very well
lead to the end
257
00:10:02,914 --> 00:10:06,084
of the World... of Warcraft.
258
00:10:06,209 --> 00:10:07,294
No!
259
00:10:07,419 --> 00:10:10,130
N-o-o-o!
260
00:10:16,345 --> 00:10:18,305
What the hell
are you guys doing?
261
00:10:18,430 --> 00:10:20,891
Don't tell me you all quit
playing "World of Warcraft" too!
262
00:10:21,016 --> 00:10:21,892
Dude, we're done.
263
00:10:22,017 --> 00:10:23,578
We're sick of getting killed
all the time.
264
00:10:23,602 --> 00:10:25,145
Guys, when things look bad,
265
00:10:25,270 --> 00:10:27,773
you can't just give up
on the World... of Warcraft.
266
00:10:27,898 --> 00:10:29,149
We don't have a choice, dude.
267
00:10:29,274 --> 00:10:31,401
That guy killed our characters
14 times!
268
00:10:31,526 --> 00:10:33,028
I have a solution, you guys.
269
00:10:33,153 --> 00:10:34,404
That guy can kill us so easily
270
00:10:34,529 --> 00:10:36,156
because he's a super-high level,
right?
271
00:10:36,281 --> 00:10:38,158
But if we were
super-high level, too...
272
00:10:38,283 --> 00:10:39,785
We can't get to a higher level
273
00:10:39,910 --> 00:10:42,120
because that dude doesn't
let us finish quests!
274
00:10:42,245 --> 00:10:43,872
That's why we need to
just log in
275
00:10:43,997 --> 00:10:46,208
and stay in the forest,
killing boars.
276
00:10:46,792 --> 00:10:47,459
Boars?
277
00:10:47,584 --> 00:10:49,354
There's lots of computer-
generated boars in Warcraft
278
00:10:49,378 --> 00:10:50,587
that die with just one blow.
279
00:10:50,712 --> 00:10:53,048
Dude, boars are only worth
2 experience points apiece.
280
00:10:53,173 --> 00:10:54,525
Do you know how many
we would have to kill
281
00:10:54,549 --> 00:10:55,549
to get up 30 levels?
282
00:10:55,592 --> 00:10:57,302
Yes.
283
00:10:57,427 --> 00:11:00,639
65,340,285,
284
00:11:00,764 --> 00:11:02,283
which should take us
seven weeks, five days,
285
00:11:02,307 --> 00:11:03,600
13 hours, and 20 minutes,
286
00:11:03,725 --> 00:11:05,286
giving ourselves
three hours a night to sleep.
287
00:11:05,310 --> 00:11:06,687
What do you say, guys?
288
00:11:06,812 --> 00:11:08,873
You can just -- You can just
hang outside in the sun all day
289
00:11:08,897 --> 00:11:10,190
tossing a ball around,
290
00:11:10,315 --> 00:11:12,755
or you can sit at your computer
and do something that matters.
291
00:11:12,859 --> 00:11:16,113
[ Up-tempo rock music plays ]
292
00:11:21,159 --> 00:11:22,661
[ Boar shrieks ]
293
00:11:24,454 --> 00:11:26,998
MAN:
♪ Live to win ♪
294
00:11:27,124 --> 00:11:28,750
♪ Till you die ♪
295
00:11:28,875 --> 00:11:32,170
♪ Till the light dies
in your eye ♪
296
00:11:32,295 --> 00:11:34,423
♪ Live to win ♪
297
00:11:34,548 --> 00:11:36,425
♪ Take it all ♪
298
00:11:36,550 --> 00:11:40,262
♪ Just keep fighting
till you fall ♪
299
00:11:40,971 --> 00:11:44,766
♪ Day by day,
kickin' all the way ♪
300
00:11:44,891 --> 00:11:47,853
♪ I'm not cavin' in ♪
301
00:11:47,978 --> 00:11:51,231
♪ Let another round begin ♪
302
00:11:51,356 --> 00:11:53,066
♪ Live to win ♪
303
00:11:53,191 --> 00:11:55,318
♪ Yeah ♪
304
00:11:55,444 --> 00:11:56,862
♪ Live ♪
305
00:11:56,987 --> 00:11:58,697
♪ Yeah ♪
306
00:11:58,822 --> 00:12:00,907
♪ Win ♪
307
00:12:01,032 --> 00:12:02,743
Sir, you'd better have a look
at this.
308
00:12:02,868 --> 00:12:04,494
Four of our subscribers --
309
00:12:04,619 --> 00:12:07,456
They've gone up 50 levels
in three weeks!
310
00:12:07,581 --> 00:12:08,749
My God.
311
00:12:08,874 --> 00:12:10,876
They must have no lives at all.
312
00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:12,210
A hope?
313
00:12:12,335 --> 00:12:13,378
A chance.
314
00:12:13,962 --> 00:12:16,006
♪ Live to win ♪
315
00:12:16,131 --> 00:12:18,049
♪ Till you die ♪
316
00:12:18,175 --> 00:12:21,553
♪ Till the light dies
in your eye ♪
317
00:12:21,678 --> 00:12:23,805
Dude, my mouse-clicking finger
hurts.
318
00:12:23,930 --> 00:12:25,290
Keep clicking, Kyle.
You can do it!
319
00:12:25,390 --> 00:12:30,312
♪ Just keep fighting
till you fall ♪
320
00:12:30,437 --> 00:12:33,315
♪ Day by day,
kickin' all the way ♪
321
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:36,985
♪ I'm not cavin' in ♪
322
00:12:37,110 --> 00:12:40,280
♪ Let another round begin ♪
323
00:12:40,405 --> 00:12:43,116
♪ Live to win ♪
324
00:12:46,244 --> 00:12:47,287
♪ Yeah ♪
325
00:12:47,412 --> 00:12:49,706
♪ Live ♪
326
00:12:49,831 --> 00:12:51,666
♪ Yeah ♪
327
00:12:51,792 --> 00:12:54,169
♪ Win ♪
328
00:12:58,298 --> 00:13:00,675
The admins tell us
they are four players
329
00:13:00,801 --> 00:13:02,844
from a small town in Colorado.
330
00:13:02,969 --> 00:13:06,014
Are they strong enough
to defeat the evil one?
331
00:13:06,139 --> 00:13:07,139
We ran the numbers.
332
00:13:07,224 --> 00:13:09,059
Even with their amazing rise
in levels,
333
00:13:09,184 --> 00:13:11,728
they have a 90%
mortality probability.
334
00:13:11,853 --> 00:13:13,438
They'd be walking
into a slaughter.
335
00:13:13,563 --> 00:13:16,441
There has to be some way
we can help them.
336
00:13:17,108 --> 00:13:22,364
What about...
the Sword of A Thousand Truths?
337
00:13:22,489 --> 00:13:24,783
Quiet, Thomas! We aren't
to even speak of that sword!
338
00:13:24,908 --> 00:13:26,243
But maybe these new players
339
00:13:26,368 --> 00:13:28,286
are the ones
the prophecy foretold of!
340
00:13:28,411 --> 00:13:29,411
It is not an option!
341
00:13:29,496 --> 00:13:31,122
What is this sword?
342
00:13:31,248 --> 00:13:34,167
Long ago, when the
World of Warcraft was created,
343
00:13:34,292 --> 00:13:36,127
one of the programmers
put a sword
344
00:13:36,253 --> 00:13:37,963
called the Sword
of A Thousand Truths
345
00:13:38,088 --> 00:13:39,422
into the game inventory.
346
00:13:39,548 --> 00:13:42,467
Apparently it could cause
120 damage per second
347
00:13:42,592 --> 00:13:44,636
with an instant manna burn
and an enchantment
348
00:13:44,761 --> 00:13:46,721
that boosted stamina plus-80.
349
00:13:46,847 --> 00:13:49,349
But the sword was considered
to be too powerful
350
00:13:49,474 --> 00:13:50,851
for anyone to possess.
351
00:13:50,976 --> 00:13:52,811
So it was removed from the game
352
00:13:52,936 --> 00:13:55,605
and stored
on a one-gig flash drive.
353
00:13:55,730 --> 00:13:57,816
But it was foretold that one day
354
00:13:57,941 --> 00:14:01,278
players who could wield the
sword might reveal themselves.
355
00:14:01,403 --> 00:14:03,196
Who foretold this prophecy?
356
00:14:03,321 --> 00:14:06,032
Saltzman.
He's in accounting.
357
00:14:18,336 --> 00:14:22,173
Behold.
The Sword of A Thousand Truths.
358
00:14:22,299 --> 00:14:23,633
[ Dramatic music plays ]
359
00:14:23,758 --> 00:14:25,135
PRESIDENT:
We must get this sword
360
00:14:25,260 --> 00:14:27,762
to the ones who have proven
they have no life.
361
00:14:27,888 --> 00:14:30,223
Let's just hope to Christ
they don't start the battle
362
00:14:30,348 --> 00:14:32,267
before we can reach them.
363
00:14:32,851 --> 00:14:35,645
All right, you guys.
The moment of truth is here.
364
00:14:35,770 --> 00:14:37,606
It is time for our final battle.
365
00:14:37,731 --> 00:14:38,982
Everyone, log in!
366
00:14:39,691 --> 00:14:40,901
I'm in.
367
00:14:41,026 --> 00:14:42,110
Me too.
368
00:14:42,235 --> 00:14:43,570
Mrph rmh.
369
00:14:43,695 --> 00:14:45,530
Everyone equip healing potions
to the hotbar
370
00:14:45,655 --> 00:14:47,198
if you haven't already.
371
00:14:47,324 --> 00:14:49,044
Uh, Kyle go ahead and cast
arcane brilliance
372
00:14:49,159 --> 00:14:50,535
to raise our intelligence.
373
00:14:50,660 --> 00:14:52,954
Hang on. I'm chaining
my fire spells for max range.
374
00:14:53,079 --> 00:14:54,080
Nice.
375
00:14:54,205 --> 00:14:56,583
Stan, what enchantment does
your Cloak of the Tiger have?
376
00:14:56,708 --> 00:14:58,209
Plus-15 agility.
377
00:14:58,335 --> 00:14:59,335
Give the cloak to Kenny.
378
00:14:59,377 --> 00:15:01,254
He needs the agility boost
for bow attacks.
379
00:15:01,379 --> 00:15:02,172
'Kay.
380
00:15:02,297 --> 00:15:04,549
Hold on. This fight could last
more than 12 hours.
381
00:15:04,674 --> 00:15:05,800
What if we run out of food?
382
00:15:05,926 --> 00:15:07,802
Don't worry.
I have that covered.
383
00:15:07,928 --> 00:15:09,763
- Mom?
- CARTMAN'S MOM: Yes, hon?
384
00:15:09,888 --> 00:15:11,181
More Hot Pockets.
385
00:15:11,306 --> 00:15:12,349
Right away, hon.
386
00:15:12,474 --> 00:15:13,934
That's uber-cool.
387
00:15:14,059 --> 00:15:15,518
All right.
Everyone ready?
388
00:15:15,644 --> 00:15:16,770
- Ready.
- KYLE: Ready.
389
00:15:16,895 --> 00:15:18,146
Let's go get him!
390
00:15:18,271 --> 00:15:21,983
[ Dramatic music plays,
keys clicking ]
391
00:15:27,030 --> 00:15:28,490
Wait.
I think I see him.
392
00:15:28,615 --> 00:15:30,200
Yeah. Yeah.
He's here in Goldshire.
393
00:15:30,325 --> 00:15:33,495
Okay, everyone open your F-list
and auto-locate to Stan.
394
00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:35,580
What's the auto-locate macro?
395
00:15:36,247 --> 00:15:38,124
Command-zero.
[ Sniffs ]
396
00:15:38,249 --> 00:15:40,418
Okay.
Right behind Stan.
397
00:15:40,543 --> 00:15:42,754
Kenny, get ready
to turn on trueshot aura.
398
00:15:42,879 --> 00:15:45,215
At that moment,
I will use intimidating shout.
399
00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:47,050
Okay.
He sees us.
400
00:15:47,175 --> 00:15:49,886
[ Music continues ]
401
00:15:50,011 --> 00:15:51,346
He's targeted us.
402
00:15:51,471 --> 00:15:53,515
Okay.
Hit him with pyroblast, Kyle.
403
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:54,516
Casting.
404
00:15:54,641 --> 00:15:56,351
There's an eight-second
cast time.
405
00:15:56,476 --> 00:15:58,311
Aren't you spec'd
to reduce cast time?
406
00:15:58,436 --> 00:16:00,271
No.
I'm an arcane fire mage.
407
00:16:00,397 --> 00:16:01,439
Christ.
408
00:16:01,564 --> 00:16:03,024
He cast summon again.
409
00:16:03,149 --> 00:16:04,693
Everyone target the scorpions.
410
00:16:04,818 --> 00:16:07,070
[ Keys clicking ]
411
00:16:09,073 --> 00:16:12,868
[ Dramatic music plays ]
412
00:16:12,993 --> 00:16:15,412
[All grunting ]
413
00:16:24,296 --> 00:16:25,589
[ Knock on door ]
414
00:16:26,381 --> 00:16:27,091
Yes?
415
00:16:27,216 --> 00:16:29,093
We are looking for
a great knight
416
00:16:29,218 --> 00:16:31,386
by the name of luvs2spooge.
417
00:16:31,512 --> 00:16:34,473
That's my son's character's name
in Warcraft.
418
00:16:34,598 --> 00:16:35,349
Where is he?!
419
00:16:35,474 --> 00:16:36,767
Who are you?
420
00:16:36,892 --> 00:16:38,268
Sir, we don't have time!
421
00:16:38,393 --> 00:16:39,728
We just heard from our admins
422
00:16:39,853 --> 00:16:41,939
that your son's party
is already in battle!
423
00:16:42,064 --> 00:16:43,649
Unless they have this sword,
424
00:16:43,774 --> 00:16:45,901
your son's character
is going to die.
425
00:16:46,026 --> 00:16:48,070
[ Insects chirping ]
426
00:16:48,195 --> 00:16:49,696
Oh, my God.
427
00:16:49,822 --> 00:16:51,657
[ Glass shatters ]
428
00:16:51,782 --> 00:16:53,158
[ Dramatic music plays ]
429
00:16:53,283 --> 00:16:54,993
[ Grunts ]
430
00:16:55,119 --> 00:16:56,286
Kyle, fire spell!
431
00:16:56,411 --> 00:16:58,831
Ha! Aah!
Aah!
432
00:16:58,956 --> 00:16:59,748
Kyle?
433
00:16:59,873 --> 00:17:01,500
Aah!
Aah!
434
00:17:01,625 --> 00:17:03,085
Kyle!
Dude, what's wrong?
435
00:17:03,210 --> 00:17:04,795
Carpal tunnel!
Carpal tunnel!
436
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:06,088
It's -- Aah!
437
00:17:06,213 --> 00:17:07,589
Oh, Jesus!
He's got it bad!
438
00:17:07,714 --> 00:17:10,134
Quick!
We need Ben Gay!
439
00:17:15,264 --> 00:17:16,348
Hurry, dude!
440
00:17:16,473 --> 00:17:18,016
I'm going as fast as I can!
441
00:17:18,142 --> 00:17:19,560
Kyle, you have to keep playing.
442
00:17:19,685 --> 00:17:21,311
I can't.
Just leave me behind.
443
00:17:21,436 --> 00:17:23,605
We can't do this without you!
Now come on!
444
00:17:23,730 --> 00:17:26,316
Stan, Stan!
445
00:17:26,441 --> 00:17:27,985
Sharon, where's Stan?
446
00:17:28,110 --> 00:17:28,902
I don't know.
447
00:17:29,027 --> 00:17:31,989
He took his computer somewhere
to play that stupid online game.
448
00:17:32,114 --> 00:17:33,323
Stupid?
449
00:17:33,448 --> 00:17:35,659
- Where?!
- I don't know!
450
00:17:35,784 --> 00:17:38,662
Sharon, his character is going
to die if we don't get to him!
451
00:17:38,787 --> 00:17:39,787
So what?
452
00:17:39,872 --> 00:17:41,874
- So what?!
- So what?!
453
00:17:41,999 --> 00:17:43,333
We're too late.
454
00:17:43,458 --> 00:17:45,085
Without the sword,
the players will fail.
455
00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:46,670
If we could get to a computer,
456
00:17:46,795 --> 00:17:48,395
we could sign on
to the World of Warcraft
457
00:17:48,463 --> 00:17:50,632
and give the boys the sword
online.
458
00:17:50,757 --> 00:17:52,402
I don't have
a "World of Warcraft" account.
459
00:17:52,426 --> 00:17:55,304
- Do you?
- No. I have a life.
460
00:17:55,429 --> 00:17:56,972
Give me the sword.
461
00:17:57,097 --> 00:17:59,600
- You?
- I have a Warcraft character.
462
00:17:59,725 --> 00:18:02,561
I'm a newb, but I can log on and
get the sword to Stan online.
463
00:18:02,686 --> 00:18:05,731
We can't trust the Sword
of A Thousand Truths to a newb!
464
00:18:05,856 --> 00:18:07,608
Sounds to me like
we don't have a choice.
465
00:18:07,733 --> 00:18:09,193
Give me the sword.
466
00:18:09,318 --> 00:18:11,904
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
467
00:18:13,530 --> 00:18:15,741
Ahh.
468
00:18:15,866 --> 00:18:18,577
Come on. We've got to get
to a computer that works!
469
00:18:18,702 --> 00:18:19,870
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
470
00:18:19,995 --> 00:18:22,206
- Where's your car?!
- We took a cab here!
471
00:18:22,331 --> 00:18:23,707
Damn it!
Mine's in the shop!
472
00:18:23,832 --> 00:18:25,250
Hey! Help! Stop!
473
00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:27,044
Please!
It's an emergency!
474
00:18:27,169 --> 00:18:28,962
[ Tires screech ]
475
00:18:29,087 --> 00:18:29,963
[ Grunts ]
476
00:18:30,088 --> 00:18:31,173
Come on!
477
00:18:31,298 --> 00:18:33,175
[ Engine revs, tires squeal ]
478
00:18:33,300 --> 00:18:36,803
Nelson! Nelson, I need to come
over and use your computer!
479
00:18:36,929 --> 00:18:38,972
No, I need to play
"World of Warcraft"!
480
00:18:39,097 --> 00:18:40,307
Nelson?!
481
00:18:46,688 --> 00:18:49,566
All right. Major stone shield
potions should be --
482
00:18:49,691 --> 00:18:52,027
Oh, God.
I'm gonna have diarrhea again.
483
00:18:52,152 --> 00:18:53,779
[ Groans ]
484
00:18:53,904 --> 00:18:56,615
You can't go to the bathroom.
You're stacking sunder armor.
485
00:18:56,740 --> 00:18:57,741
It's okay.
486
00:18:58,575 --> 00:19:00,285
Mom, bathroom!
487
00:19:00,410 --> 00:19:02,246
- CARTMAN'S MOM: What, hon?
- Bathroom!
488
00:19:02,371 --> 00:19:03,372
Bathroom!
489
00:19:07,834 --> 00:19:08,919
[ Farting ]
490
00:19:09,044 --> 00:19:11,630
Oh!
That's a big boy, isn't he?
491
00:19:12,214 --> 00:19:13,090
All right, Kenny.
492
00:19:13,215 --> 00:19:14,591
Drink your elixir
of the mongoose.
493
00:19:14,716 --> 00:19:17,094
I am now going to use
mocking blow.
494
00:19:17,219 --> 00:19:18,762
[ Dramatic music plays ]
495
00:19:21,098 --> 00:19:23,267
"World of Warcraft"!
I need to play!
496
00:19:23,392 --> 00:19:25,435
Our demo is set up
right over by the --
497
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,813
[ Keys clicking ]
498
00:19:29,147 --> 00:19:30,691
Got to sign in.
499
00:19:30,816 --> 00:19:32,985
Character name.
All right! I'm in!
500
00:19:33,110 --> 00:19:34,945
Dude, I'm almost dead.
501
00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:36,530
Kyle, cast arcane missiles!
502
00:19:36,655 --> 00:19:38,282
I'm out of manna.
I told you!
503
00:19:38,407 --> 00:19:40,784
I've got to heal!
504
00:19:40,909 --> 00:19:43,078
Stan!
505
00:19:44,454 --> 00:19:45,789
Dad?
Not now!
506
00:19:45,914 --> 00:19:50,085
Stan, I've been sent here...
to bring you this.
507
00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:52,796
This sword can completely drain
his manna!
508
00:19:52,921 --> 00:19:54,131
Dad, how did you get that?
509
00:19:54,256 --> 00:19:55,966
No time!
Just take it!
510
00:19:56,091 --> 00:19:57,342
Here!
511
00:20:00,679 --> 00:20:03,098
How -- How do you hand something
from one player to another?
512
00:20:03,223 --> 00:20:05,809
Bring up your inventory screen.
Control-I!
513
00:20:05,934 --> 00:20:06,643
Okay.
514
00:20:06,768 --> 00:20:09,313
Stan, what the hell
are you doing?!
515
00:20:09,896 --> 00:20:11,982
- I got it!
- Aah!
516
00:20:12,107 --> 00:20:12,899
Dad!
517
00:20:13,025 --> 00:20:14,484
[ Weakly ]
Stan!
518
00:20:14,609 --> 00:20:15,652
Dad, no!
519
00:20:17,612 --> 00:20:20,198
You killed my father.
520
00:20:21,158 --> 00:20:22,158
Aah!
521
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,161
- [ Groans ]
- [ Electricity crackling ]
522
00:20:24,286 --> 00:20:25,954
His shield and armor spells
are down!
523
00:20:26,079 --> 00:20:27,873
Attack!
524
00:20:28,832 --> 00:20:29,875
[ Grunts ]
525
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,043
Aah!
526
00:20:31,168 --> 00:20:33,211
[ Groans ]
527
00:20:35,922 --> 00:20:38,550
Looks like you're
about to get pwned.
528
00:20:39,384 --> 00:20:41,136
Yaah!
529
00:20:47,351 --> 00:20:49,227
Dad?
Dad?
530
00:20:49,353 --> 00:20:51,146
[ Weakly ]
Stan.
531
00:20:51,271 --> 00:20:54,733
I've never been able to say this
before, but...
532
00:20:54,858 --> 00:20:56,526
I love you, son.
533
00:20:56,651 --> 00:20:58,528
I know you do, Dad.
534
00:20:58,653 --> 00:21:00,655
[ Groaning ]
535
00:21:02,491 --> 00:21:05,702
[ Groaning ]
536
00:21:05,827 --> 00:21:07,162
They did it!
537
00:21:07,287 --> 00:21:09,373
Our world is saved!
538
00:21:10,916 --> 00:21:12,959
They did it!
They killed him!
539
00:21:13,085 --> 00:21:15,170
- They did it!
- They killed him!
540
00:21:15,295 --> 00:21:16,838
- We can come out!
- Come out!
541
00:21:16,963 --> 00:21:17,839
- Yes!
- Mrph rm!
542
00:21:17,964 --> 00:21:19,466
- All right!
- Yeah!
543
00:21:19,591 --> 00:21:20,591
- All right.
- Yeah.
544
00:21:20,634 --> 00:21:21,968
- Yeah.
- Mrph rm.
545
00:21:22,094 --> 00:21:25,055
We did it, you guys.
We're totally heroes.
546
00:21:25,180 --> 00:21:26,890
That was such uber-pwnage.
547
00:21:27,015 --> 00:21:29,059
I can't believe it's all over.
548
00:21:29,184 --> 00:21:31,061
What do we do now?
549
00:21:32,396 --> 00:21:33,897
What do you mean?
550
00:21:34,022 --> 00:21:35,607
Now we can finally play
the game.
551
00:21:35,732 --> 00:21:36,566
Oh, yeah.
552
00:21:36,691 --> 00:21:37,859
Okay, Kenny.
553
00:21:37,984 --> 00:21:40,195
Add eyes of the beast
to your hotbar.
554
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:43,407
Stan, check your fury talents
to boost your shouts.
555
00:21:43,532 --> 00:21:44,908
Got it.
38498
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