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1
00:00:08,635 --> 00:00:11,971
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,681
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,350
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:15,475 --> 00:00:18,561
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,271
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,606
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:25,109
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:25,235 --> 00:00:28,488
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
9
00:00:28,613 --> 00:00:32,951
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:38,790
The popular cartoon
"Family Guy"
11
00:00:38,915 --> 00:00:41,834
is going to show the image
of Muhammad uncensored!
12
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:44,087
If we all bury our heads
in sand,
13
00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:46,506
we can avoid being any part
of this.
14
00:00:46,631 --> 00:00:47,924
And I'm gonna do whatever I can
15
00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:50,260
to get that episode pulled
before this gets out of hand.
16
00:00:50,385 --> 00:00:52,387
You just want "Family Guy"
off the air.
17
00:00:52,512 --> 00:00:53,429
[ Tires screeching ]
18
00:00:53,555 --> 00:00:54,847
Kyle, stop it!
19
00:00:54,973 --> 00:00:56,516
So long, Kyle!
20
00:00:56,641 --> 00:00:58,851
You son of a bitch!
I won't let you win!
21
00:00:58,977 --> 00:01:00,770
Mr. President...
there's something
22
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:04,107
about the "Family Guy" writing
staff I think you should know.
23
00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:09,028
MAN: And now the thrilling
conclusion of "Cartoon Wars"...
24
00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:11,739
will not be seen tonight
so that we can bring you
25
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:14,492
this "Terrance & Phillip"
television special!
26
00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:18,413
[ Horn toots,
mid-tempo jazz plays ]
27
00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:23,334
[ Music continues ]
28
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:26,212
Say, Terrance, isn't it
wonderful having a holiday
29
00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:27,672
here at the Lazy "J" ranch?
30
00:01:27,797 --> 00:01:29,090
It sure is, Phillip.
31
00:01:29,215 --> 00:01:31,593
But I do believe this steer
I'm riding has the farts.
32
00:01:31,718 --> 00:01:32,969
[ Farts ]
33
00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:35,138
[ Both laugh ]
34
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:36,472
Oh!
Look who's coming!
35
00:01:36,598 --> 00:01:40,268
Isn't that Muhammad, the holy
prophet of the Muslim religion?
36
00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:45,440
Hey, guys.
How's it going?
37
00:01:45,565 --> 00:01:46,566
Hello, Muhammad.
38
00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:48,276
We've read all aboot you
in the Qur'an.
39
00:01:48,401 --> 00:01:49,861
I'm here to investigate
a murder.
40
00:01:49,986 --> 00:01:53,114
TERRANCE: All right! Just what
the hell is going on here?!
41
00:01:53,239 --> 00:01:54,991
You censored out
the image of Muhammad
42
00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,492
in our television special!
43
00:01:56,618 --> 00:01:58,202
Eh.
You guys know the rules.
44
00:01:58,328 --> 00:02:00,079
Nobody can show the image
of Muhammad anymore.
45
00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:02,415
- It's dangerous.
- But you ruined the whole show!
46
00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:03,791
Look, I'm not going to risk
the lives
47
00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:04,959
of the people at this network.
48
00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:06,377
Let's just forget aboot it,
okay, guys?
49
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:08,171
[ Farts, laughs ]
50
00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:10,840
Oh, come on, guys.
Give me a break.
51
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,676
We demand you rerun
"Mystery at the Lazy 'J' Ranch"
52
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,345
with Muhammad uncensored!
53
00:02:15,470 --> 00:02:17,180
Eh! I run this network,
not you guys!
54
00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:18,181
And if you ask me,
55
00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:19,766
your show has become
so preachy and full of messages
56
00:02:19,891 --> 00:02:20,892
that you've forgotten
how to be funny!
57
00:02:21,017 --> 00:02:21,601
No Muhammad!
58
00:02:21,726 --> 00:02:23,436
But "Family Guy"
is going to show Muhammad
59
00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:25,355
on an episode that airs tonight!
60
00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:26,439
I doubt it!
61
00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:28,358
I'll bet that right now,
somebody is on their way
62
00:02:28,483 --> 00:02:30,943
to Fox network to demand that
that episode be pulled!
63
00:02:31,069 --> 00:02:33,529
[ Dramatic music plays ]
64
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,916
Ma'am, I need to speak with
the president of this network
65
00:02:45,041 --> 00:02:45,917
right away.
66
00:02:46,042 --> 00:02:47,377
What is it regarding?
67
00:02:47,502 --> 00:02:49,087
It's regarding "Family Guy."
68
00:02:49,212 --> 00:02:52,173
I demand the Muhammad episode be
pulled before it airs tonight.
69
00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,467
It's incendiary,
it's offensive to Muslims,
70
00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:55,718
and people can get hurt.
71
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,221
It's wrong.
It's wro-o-o-ng!
72
00:02:58,346 --> 00:03:01,140
Okay, but if you've got
a problem with "Family Guy,"
73
00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,600
you'll have to wait in line.
74
00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:04,310
That little boy over there
has an appointment
75
00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:08,314
to try and get "Family Guy"
off the air altogether.
76
00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:11,651
Dude, can I go before you?
77
00:03:11,776 --> 00:03:13,194
Eat my shorts.
78
00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:15,947
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
79
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:21,411
What the hell is going on?
80
00:03:24,789 --> 00:03:26,290
Hello?
81
00:03:26,416 --> 00:03:29,627
Excuse me?
I need to get to Los Angeles.
82
00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:31,462
Hey!
83
00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:36,759
Hello?!
84
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:40,012
...starting in a small town
in central Colorado,
85
00:03:40,138 --> 00:03:43,433
the idea has now spread
all over America.
86
00:03:43,558 --> 00:03:45,852
Muslims continue to riot
in the Middle East,
87
00:03:45,977 --> 00:03:49,188
demanding that "Family Guy"
not air tonight's episode.
88
00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:52,233
And Muslim terrorists continue
to make threats.
89
00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:02,535
Osama bin Laden
had this to say.
90
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:05,663
[ Dramatic music plays ]
91
00:04:15,465 --> 00:04:16,716
Bin Laden went on to say
92
00:04:16,841 --> 00:04:20,052
that if "Family Guy" shows the
image of Muhammad as planned,
93
00:04:20,178 --> 00:04:22,472
the terrorist retaliation
will be immediate.
94
00:04:22,597 --> 00:04:24,223
[ Gun cocks ]
95
00:04:24,348 --> 00:04:26,726
- You one of them?
- Who?
96
00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:29,228
How come your head
ain't in the sand?
97
00:04:30,396 --> 00:04:33,232
[ Muzak playing ]
98
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:40,239
So...you don't like "Family Guy"
either, huh?
99
00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:43,367
I hate "Family Guy."
100
00:04:43,910 --> 00:04:44,827
So what's your plan?
101
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,370
You gonna ask the president
of the network nicely
102
00:04:46,496 --> 00:04:47,663
to take it off the air?
103
00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,166
Not nicely.
104
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,210
Look, kid,
if you hate a TV show,
105
00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:54,670
all you have to do
is get an episode pulled.
106
00:04:54,796 --> 00:04:56,130
Pretty soon the show
is compromised,
107
00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:57,465
and it goes off the air.
108
00:04:57,590 --> 00:04:58,758
Cool, man!
109
00:04:58,883 --> 00:04:59,634
Yes.
110
00:04:59,759 --> 00:05:01,511
So my plan is to use
this whole Muhammad thing
111
00:05:01,636 --> 00:05:04,263
as a way to scare the network
into pulling tonight's show.
112
00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:07,266
I'm going to use fear
to get them to do what I want.
113
00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:09,727
Isn't that like terrorism?
114
00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:12,480
No, it isn't like terrorism.
115
00:05:12,605 --> 00:05:13,940
It is terrorism.
116
00:05:14,065 --> 00:05:15,483
I can do that!
117
00:05:15,608 --> 00:05:17,235
This is manipulation
at its highest level.
118
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,319
You should let me handle this.
119
00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:20,071
I'm a pretty bad kid.
120
00:05:20,196 --> 00:05:22,156
Really? What's the worst thing
you've ever done?
121
00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:24,575
I stole the head
off a statue once.
122
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,869
Wow.
That's pretty hard-core.
123
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:27,787
Geez.
124
00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:29,997
That's like this one time
when I didn't like a kid,
125
00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:33,626
so I ground his parents up
into chili and fed it to him.
126
00:05:35,837 --> 00:05:38,256
You got it, man.
You got it.
127
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:39,298
See ya.
128
00:05:39,423 --> 00:05:41,676
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
129
00:05:43,469 --> 00:05:47,014
I want to assure the American
people that as president,
130
00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:49,517
I have exhausted
every possible solution.
131
00:05:49,642 --> 00:05:52,562
Unfortunately,
Muhammad will appear uncensored
132
00:05:52,687 --> 00:05:54,605
on "Family Guy" tonight at 7:00.
133
00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:57,525
ALL:
Mr. President! Mr. President!
134
00:05:57,650 --> 00:06:00,403
Mr. President, can't the writers
of the show be reasoned with?
135
00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,405
Don't they know they're putting
the country in danger?
136
00:06:03,239 --> 00:06:05,700
I have come to understand
137
00:06:05,825 --> 00:06:08,369
something about the "Family Guy"
writing staff.
138
00:06:08,494 --> 00:06:11,664
Suffice it to say that they
will not be persuaded
139
00:06:11,789 --> 00:06:13,374
by the possibility of violence.
140
00:06:13,499 --> 00:06:14,750
ALL:
Mr. President! Mr. President!
141
00:06:14,876 --> 00:06:16,002
Mr. President!
Mr. President!
142
00:06:16,127 --> 00:06:17,169
What exactly did you learn
143
00:06:17,295 --> 00:06:19,630
about the "Family Guy"
writing staff, Mr. President?
144
00:06:20,965 --> 00:06:22,925
I'm afraid that information
is classified.
145
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,427
ALL:
Aww!
146
00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,888
Mr. President!
Mr. President!
147
00:06:27,013 --> 00:06:29,932
Mr. President, can't you force
the "Family Guy" writing staff
148
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,684
not to write anything
about Muhammad?
149
00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,185
Couldn't you throw them
in prison?
150
00:06:33,311 --> 00:06:36,689
Look, the fact of the matter is
the "Family Guy" writing staff
151
00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:40,192
is protected by something
called the First Amendment.
152
00:06:40,318 --> 00:06:44,238
And what exactly is this
First Amendment, Mr. President?
153
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,242
You know --
right to free speech.
154
00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:50,953
ALL:
Aww!
155
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,747
ALL:
Mr. President! Mr. President!
156
00:06:52,872 --> 00:06:53,581
Mr. President!
157
00:06:53,706 --> 00:06:55,458
Mr. President,
when your administration
158
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:57,627
came up with
this First Amendment,
159
00:06:57,752 --> 00:07:00,254
did it not foresee a problem
like this might happen?
160
00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:04,216
Well, we didn't come up with
the First Amendment.
161
00:07:04,342 --> 00:07:05,635
It was already in place.
162
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:07,303
What do you intend to do
163
00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:09,764
about this First Amendment,
Mr. President?
164
00:07:09,889 --> 00:07:12,725
Forgive me, Mr. President,
but this First Amendment
165
00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:15,603
sounds like a lot
of bureaucratic jibbery-joo.
166
00:07:15,728 --> 00:07:17,229
- Yeah!
- That's right!
167
00:07:17,355 --> 00:07:19,440
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
168
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,569
Okay.
Let's discuss the fall lineup.
169
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:25,613
Sir, there's still
one little boy out here
170
00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:26,697
who wants to speak with you
171
00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,491
about pulling
the "Family Guy" episode.
172
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:30,451
All right.
Let's get this over with.
173
00:07:33,037 --> 00:07:35,039
Hello, gentlemen, ladies.
174
00:07:35,164 --> 00:07:37,041
My name is little Danny Pocket,
175
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:38,751
and I won't take
much of your time.
176
00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,419
Please excuse my tiny crutch.
177
00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,630
It's the only way
I can get around these days.
178
00:07:42,755 --> 00:07:43,464
Ow.
179
00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:45,591
- Oh, poor kid.
- Poor kid. Yeah.
180
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:48,010
You see, my father
worked for a newspaper
181
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,929
in my native country of Denmark.
182
00:07:50,054 --> 00:07:51,514
His newspaper showed
an image of Muhammad,
183
00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:55,434
and two days later, terrorists
suicide-bombed his building.
184
00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:56,978
I was in the lobby
when it happened.
185
00:07:57,103 --> 00:07:58,938
First one terrorist
suicide-bombed us,
186
00:07:59,063 --> 00:08:00,314
and then dozens more.
187
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:01,273
They just kept coming --
188
00:08:01,399 --> 00:08:03,150
suicide bombers running
in the building
189
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:04,819
and blowing up,
one after another.
190
00:08:04,944 --> 00:08:06,779
They were like
Mexican jumping beans.
191
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,283
I just don't want to see people
here at your studio getting hurt
192
00:08:11,409 --> 00:08:14,912
because that would be,
of course, your responsibility.
193
00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:17,289
[ Coughs ]
Ow.
194
00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:19,834
I feel terrible.
195
00:08:19,959 --> 00:08:21,794
It's so easy to put
terrorism out of mind
196
00:08:21,919 --> 00:08:24,880
until one of its victims
is staring you in the face.
197
00:08:25,006 --> 00:08:26,340
Sir, if we pull the episode,
198
00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:29,677
the "Family Guy" writing staff
will refuse to work again.
199
00:08:29,802 --> 00:08:32,847
Little boy, will you talk to
the "Family Guy" writing staff?
200
00:08:32,972 --> 00:08:36,475
If your story touches
their hearts like it has ours,
201
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,937
perhaps they'll back down from
demanding we air the episode.
202
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:42,231
I'll certainly do my best.
[ Coughs ] Ow.
203
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:44,775
Take this noble child over
to the "Family Guy" offices.
204
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,610
If he can scare them
like he has us,
205
00:08:46,736 --> 00:08:49,363
maybe we can pull
the Muhammad episode after all.
206
00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:51,699
Yes. And then "Family Guy"
is as good as dead.
207
00:08:51,824 --> 00:08:52,783
What was what?
208
00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:56,620
I-I said thank you.
Thank you for listening.
209
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,044
Thanks a lot for the ride.
210
00:09:03,169 --> 00:09:04,962
Hey, it's the least I could do.
211
00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:06,589
I hope you succeed, kid.
212
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:09,175
I really don't want to see
"Family Guy" go off the air.
213
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:10,843
I love that show!
214
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:12,470
I'll do everything I can.
215
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:15,806
I mean, I know it's just joke
after joke, but I like that.
216
00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:17,183
At least it doesn't get
all preachy
217
00:09:17,308 --> 00:09:20,144
and up its own ass
with messages, you know?
218
00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:29,945
Excuse me!
219
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,115
Do you know which way the
network president's office is?
220
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,575
Who wants to know?
221
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,952
Look, my fat bastard friend
is trying to trick the network
222
00:09:37,078 --> 00:09:39,163
into getting "Family Guy"
off the air.
223
00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:43,209
The network president's office
is in there.
224
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,337
Oh.
Thanks, dude.
225
00:09:46,462 --> 00:09:48,130
No problem, man.
226
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,134
Hello?
227
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,553
This can't be right. I --
[ Grunts ]
228
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:58,432
Cowabunga, motherfucker!
229
00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:01,852
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
230
00:10:02,478 --> 00:10:03,521
Hello, Mitchell.
231
00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:04,855
Oh, hi, Ms. Travis.
232
00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:07,775
The president has asked
that little Danny Pocket here
233
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,236
speak with the "Family Guy"
writing staff.
234
00:10:10,361 --> 00:10:11,654
Are you sure?
235
00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:13,656
They're working on
a new episode right now.
236
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:14,865
It won't take long, sir.
237
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,909
[ Coughs ]
Ow.
238
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:18,244
All right.
I'll take him back.
239
00:10:18,369 --> 00:10:20,246
Follow me, little Danny.
240
00:10:20,371 --> 00:10:21,831
You must be excited.
241
00:10:21,956 --> 00:10:23,833
Not many people get to meet
our writing staff.
242
00:10:23,958 --> 00:10:25,376
Yes.
I'm totally excited.
243
00:10:25,501 --> 00:10:27,419
"Family Guy" is so funny.
244
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,297
Well, here we are.
245
00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:33,134
Danny, the "Family Guy"
writing staff.
246
00:10:34,093 --> 00:10:35,302
What?
247
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:38,597
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
248
00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:44,728
- What are they?
- They're manatees.
249
00:10:44,854 --> 00:10:47,231
Gretchen and Flubber
are from the Gulf of Mexico.
250
00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:49,316
Tigger, Pete, and Lucy
are from the Caribbean Sea.
251
00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:52,570
"Family Guy" is written
by manatees?
252
00:10:53,154 --> 00:10:55,447
Of course.
It all makes sense now.
253
00:10:55,573 --> 00:10:57,074
They really are
brilliant creatures.
254
00:10:57,199 --> 00:11:00,035
You see, the right side of the
tank is filled with idea balls.
255
00:11:00,161 --> 00:11:02,079
Each idea ball has a verb, noun,
256
00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:03,831
or pop-culture reference
written on it.
257
00:11:03,956 --> 00:11:04,874
There's millions of them.
258
00:11:04,999 --> 00:11:07,084
The manatees choose an idea ball
259
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:09,712
and swim it to the joke combine
on the other side of the tank.
260
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:13,090
There goes Gretchen!
She's coming up with an idea!
261
00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:15,176
Oh, she came up
with Gary Coleman.
262
00:11:15,301 --> 00:11:17,303
The idea balls
drop into the joke combine
263
00:11:17,428 --> 00:11:19,430
and form a part
of the new script.
264
00:11:19,555 --> 00:11:24,268
"Laundry," "date," "winning,"
"Mexico," "Gary Coleman."
265
00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:25,603
A perfect "Family Guy" joke!
266
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:27,646
I can see it now!
267
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:30,524
Peter, you didn't do the laundry
today.
268
00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:32,234
You think that's bad?
269
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:36,614
Remember the time I won a date
to Mexico with Gary Coleman?
270
00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:39,033
- [ Mariachi music playing ]
- ¿Qué pasó, señors?
271
00:11:39,158 --> 00:11:40,784
What you talking 'bout, Willis?
272
00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:41,827
W-Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
273
00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:44,288
These manatees demanded
that Muhammad be shown?
274
00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:45,998
How?
Manatees don't talk!
275
00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:48,334
When Fox censored the image
of Muhammad last week,
276
00:11:48,459 --> 00:11:49,793
it also meant
that the Muhammad ball
277
00:11:49,919 --> 00:11:52,046
had to come out
of the idea tank.
278
00:11:52,171 --> 00:11:54,506
It made the manatees very upset.
279
00:11:54,632 --> 00:11:57,051
Pull just one idea ball
out of the idea tank,
280
00:11:57,176 --> 00:11:58,802
and the manatees stop working.
281
00:11:58,928 --> 00:12:00,387
Here. I'll show you.
Keith?
282
00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:06,018
[ Dramatic music plays ]
283
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:11,273
All right. All right.
Put it back in!
284
00:12:13,234 --> 00:12:15,402
Manatees are
very ethical writers.
285
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:18,239
Either everything is okay
to write about or nothing is.
286
00:12:18,364 --> 00:12:20,032
Anyway, the president
of the network
287
00:12:20,157 --> 00:12:21,992
wanted you to speak
with the manatees?
288
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:23,994
Oh.
Yes, yes.
289
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:26,330
Um...hello, manatees.
290
00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:27,873
I-I think you should allow
the network
291
00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:29,625
to pull your episode
with Muhammad.
292
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,710
See, I'm the victim
of a-a terrorist attack,
293
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,671
and terrorists might
come after you if --
294
00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:35,756
- That isn't gonna work on them.
- Why not?
295
00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:37,758
Don't you know anything
about manatees?
296
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,843
They're the only mammals
that are completely unmoved
297
00:12:39,969 --> 00:12:41,679
by terrorist threats.
298
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:44,807
Son of a bitch.
299
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,684
[ Grunting ]
300
00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:49,019
Let me out of here, kid.
Why are you doing this?!
301
00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:51,605
CARTMAN:
Well, well, well.
302
00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:54,900
- Cartman!
- Hello, Kyle.
303
00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,652
Looks like you've run into
a little snag
304
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:57,903
in your plan as well.
305
00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,363
You fat son of a bitch!
306
00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:01,615
You came so close to
stopping me, didn't you, Kyle?
307
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:03,284
There was just one thing
you didn't count on --
308
00:13:03,409 --> 00:13:06,120
that more people besides me
hate "Family Guy."
309
00:13:06,245 --> 00:13:07,871
Yeah.
310
00:13:07,997 --> 00:13:09,832
Well, a lot of people like
"Family Guy," too!
311
00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,750
Who are you to decide
it shouldn't be on the air?!
312
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:14,295
Shut up!
You shut your fucking face, man!
313
00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:15,296
Did it work?
314
00:13:15,421 --> 00:13:17,756
Did you scare the network
into pulling the episode?
315
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:20,801
Not yet, but I've come up
with a new plan.
316
00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:22,928
I've learned how to make
the "Family Guy" writing staff
317
00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:23,971
stop working.
318
00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:25,764
As soon as everyone goes
on their lunch break,
319
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,057
I can sneak back in.
320
00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:28,225
Cool, man.
321
00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,436
Cartman, let me out
of this stupid net!
322
00:13:30,561 --> 00:13:31,395
Good, Kyle!
323
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:32,813
That's good anger
you're showing there!
324
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:33,647
You see that?
325
00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:34,940
That's emotional
character development
326
00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:37,109
based on what's happening
in the story line.
327
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:38,861
Not at all like "Family Guy."
328
00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:41,405
Now, if you'll excuse me, Kyle,
329
00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:45,242
I've got some idea balls
to remove from a manatee tank.
330
00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:47,745
What?!
331
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:49,747
I don't understand it.
332
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:51,874
What's wrong with them?
333
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:54,084
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
334
00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:57,171
We don't know, Mr. President.
They just stopped working.
335
00:13:57,296 --> 00:14:00,215
But nobody took any idea balls
out of the tank, did they?
336
00:14:00,341 --> 00:14:02,593
No, sir.
None of us did.
337
00:14:02,718 --> 00:14:04,678
Then why are they refusing
to write?
338
00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:07,222
I agreed to show Muhammad
uncensored!
339
00:14:07,348 --> 00:14:08,932
I did what you asked!
340
00:14:09,058 --> 00:14:11,101
What do you want from me?!
341
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,186
Sir, sir.
342
00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:15,606
If you don't mind my saying,
I think you asked for this.
343
00:14:15,731 --> 00:14:18,150
You gave in to the manatees
last week.
344
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:19,902
Now they know all they
have to do is refuse to work
345
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,362
and they can get
whatever they want.
346
00:14:21,487 --> 00:14:23,072
You've spoiled them
by caving in.
347
00:14:23,197 --> 00:14:24,907
Now they think they can walk
all over you.
348
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:28,410
Sir, you are in charge
of this network, not them.
349
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,955
Maybe it's time you showed them
who's in charge.
350
00:14:32,081 --> 00:14:33,582
You're right.
351
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:36,126
It's time I stop letting
these prima donna manatees
352
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:37,378
tell me what to do!
353
00:14:37,503 --> 00:14:39,254
I'm pulling
the Muhammad episode!
354
00:14:39,380 --> 00:14:40,172
You got that?!
355
00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:41,924
And if you all don't
want to work tomorrow,
356
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:43,759
you can just find other jobs!
357
00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:45,761
How long before "Family Guy"
is supposed to air?
358
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:46,887
25 minutes.
359
00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:48,722
I got to hurry!
360
00:14:49,473 --> 00:14:50,682
I did it.
361
00:14:50,808 --> 00:14:53,811
I...am...God!
362
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:56,772
♪ "Family Guy"
is goin' off the air ♪
363
00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,941
♪ No more "Family Guy" for me,
mon frère ♪
364
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:00,776
Cartman!
365
00:15:01,402 --> 00:15:03,570
You fucking fat ass.
366
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:04,947
How the hell did you get out?
367
00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:07,074
That kid and I had a long talk.
368
00:15:07,199 --> 00:15:08,867
I told him he was
on a slippery slope
369
00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,702
to becoming a monster like you.
370
00:15:10,828 --> 00:15:11,620
Oh, God damn it,
371
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,497
you gave him one of your gay
little speeches, didn't you?
372
00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:16,083
You are not killing
"Family Guy."
373
00:15:16,208 --> 00:15:17,126
You're too late, Kyle.
374
00:15:17,251 --> 00:15:19,086
The president of the network
is pulling the episode.
375
00:15:19,211 --> 00:15:21,046
"Family Guy" is as good as dead.
376
00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:22,881
There's still time to tell
the network president
377
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,258
you're full of crap!
378
00:15:24,842 --> 00:15:26,009
I can't let you do that.
379
00:15:26,135 --> 00:15:27,553
Get out of my way
or I'll kick your ass!
380
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,388
Fine, Kyle.
381
00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:31,014
I guess it was inevitable.
382
00:15:32,433 --> 00:15:34,685
Let this be our final battle.
383
00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:38,355
[ Dramatic music plays ]
384
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,523
Aah!
385
00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:41,692
Ow. Ow!
Stop it!
386
00:15:41,817 --> 00:15:43,444
Kyle, that's too hard!
Ow!
387
00:15:43,569 --> 00:15:45,195
[ Grunts ]
Kyle, stop it!
388
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,363
Ow! Quit it!
389
00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:47,739
Quit it, Kyle!
Let -- Kyle!
390
00:15:47,865 --> 00:15:49,867
[ Grunts ]
391
00:15:53,454 --> 00:15:54,830
- Stop it!
- Quit it!
392
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,582
Quit it, Kyle!
Let -- Kyle!
393
00:15:56,707 --> 00:15:58,459
Let -- Okay, okay.
Time out!
394
00:15:58,584 --> 00:16:00,961
Time out! Kyle! Time out!
Time out! Time out!
395
00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:02,588
Time in!
396
00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:05,591
I -- Ow!
[ Grunting ]
397
00:16:05,716 --> 00:16:08,510
Okay, okay! Time out! Kyle!
Time out! Time out! Time out!
398
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,137
- No more time-outs, fat-ass!
- Time out! Time out! Time out!
399
00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:11,805
Time out, Kyle.
400
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:18,270
[ Birds chirping ]
401
00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:20,397
[ Both grunting ]
402
00:16:22,274 --> 00:16:24,318
- Kyle --
- [ Grunts ]
403
00:16:24,443 --> 00:16:25,611
Get the -- Kyle.
404
00:16:25,736 --> 00:16:27,488
Kyle, dude, that was --
that was in the balls!
405
00:16:27,613 --> 00:16:29,615
Dude, seriously! Seriously!
That was in the balls!
406
00:16:29,740 --> 00:16:32,451
No hitting --
No hitting in the balls!
407
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:35,954
Kyle.
408
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:41,627
[ Both panting ]
409
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:47,174
[ Muffled ]
Let me up, Kyle!
410
00:16:47,299 --> 00:16:49,301
Let me up, Kyle!
411
00:16:51,512 --> 00:16:54,598
[ Both grunting ]
412
00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:55,641
Okay.
413
00:16:55,766 --> 00:16:57,976
Stop it!
Okay, okay, okay!
414
00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,561
You win!
415
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,147
You win.
I give up.
416
00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:03,899
[ Grunts ]
417
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:06,527
Ha ha!
I had my fingers crossed.
418
00:17:06,652 --> 00:17:07,945
[ Coughing ]
419
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:09,780
[ Thud ]
420
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,826
[ Coughs ]
Thanks, kid.
421
00:17:14,952 --> 00:17:17,621
Network control,
this is the president.
422
00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:19,456
I want you to pull the episode.
423
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:21,124
What?
424
00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:23,168
Mr. President, are you sure?
425
00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:24,753
I'm sure.
426
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:28,048
Begin episode jettison sequence
0-2-900.
427
00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:33,929
- [ Whirring ]
- Abort system initiated.
428
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:35,305
Awaiting confirmation.
429
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,808
Mr. President, we need
your final approval code.
430
00:17:37,933 --> 00:17:40,811
Presidential approval code
zero, zero, destruct--
431
00:17:40,936 --> 00:17:43,355
Sir! Mr. Television executive!
Stop!
432
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,982
- Who are you?
- Listen to me.
433
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:47,067
The little boy who convinced you
to pull the episode
434
00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:48,193
is a bastard child.
435
00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:49,236
He only wants you to pull it
436
00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:51,863
because he knows it will be
the end of "Family Guy" forever.
437
00:17:51,989 --> 00:17:53,115
The end of "Family Guy"?
438
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,450
Mr. President,
we need final authorization.
439
00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:57,661
Hold on, Julie.
What are you talking about, kid?
440
00:17:57,786 --> 00:17:59,246
Pulling an episode
because somebody is offended
441
00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:00,539
starts a chain reaction.
442
00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:02,082
You'll have to pull
more and more episodes
443
00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:03,792
until the show goes off the air
completely.
444
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,460
It's what happened
to "Laverne & Shirley"!
445
00:18:05,586 --> 00:18:09,172
You mean...the manatees aren't
trying to run the network?
446
00:18:09,298 --> 00:18:11,091
What manatees?
447
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:12,092
[ Grunts ]
448
00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:14,344
Go ahead, Mr. President.
Continue what you were doing.
449
00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:16,722
No! You have to show Muhammad,
Mr. President!
450
00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:18,807
Mr. President,
we're awaiting your orders!
451
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,476
Sir, just think about what
you're doing to free speech.
452
00:18:21,602 --> 00:18:23,228
No. Think about the people
who could get hurt!
453
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:25,772
I-I don't know who to listen to!
454
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:28,108
Okay.
I'll make it easy for you.
455
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,110
- Pull the Muhammad episode now!
- [ Gun cocks ]
456
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:32,237
Okay. I'll listen to you.
Julie?
457
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,406
No! Wait!
You can't listen to him!
458
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:35,741
He's a lying, deceitful monster
459
00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:37,409
who only wants "Family Guy"
off the air!
460
00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:38,493
But he has a gun.
461
00:18:38,619 --> 00:18:40,162
You can't do what he wants
462
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,581
just because he's the one
threatening you with violence!
463
00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:43,790
Shut up, Kyle!
464
00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,209
I can't be responsible
for people getting hurt.
465
00:18:46,335 --> 00:18:47,210
Especially me.
466
00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:50,547
Yes. People can get hurt.
That's how terrorism works.
467
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,090
But if you give in to that,
Doug,
468
00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:54,009
you're allowing terrorism
to work.
469
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,594
Do the right thing here.
470
00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:57,512
Give the orders to pull
the episode, Mr. President.
471
00:18:57,638 --> 00:18:59,598
I shouldn't even be
in the office still!
472
00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:02,142
It's supposed to be
half-day Fridays!
473
00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,977
Mr. President,
30 seconds to airtime.
474
00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:05,437
What do you want us to do?
475
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,272
Do the right thing,
Mr. President.
476
00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,024
How about I allow the episode
to air
477
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,151
but just censor out
the image of Muhammad again?
478
00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,402
I wish that was good enough.
479
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:14,029
But if you censor out Muhammad,
480
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,989
then soon you'll have to
censor out more.
481
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,741
No gay speeches, Kyle!
482
00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:20,285
If you don't show Muhammad,
then you've made a distinction
483
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:22,871
between what is okay
to poke fun at and what isn't.
484
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,499
Either it's all okay
or none of it is.
485
00:19:25,624 --> 00:19:27,000
Five seconds, Mr. President!
486
00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:31,213
Do the right thing.
Show Muhammad.
487
00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:34,758
Do the right thing.
488
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:37,386
Mr. President,
we need a decision now!
489
00:19:37,511 --> 00:19:39,596
[ Dramatic music plays ]
490
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:44,184
"Family Guy" goes on air
as planned, uncensored.
491
00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:45,811
- Yes!
- No!
492
00:19:45,936 --> 00:19:47,145
No!
I hate "Family Guy"!
493
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,523
[ Gun clicking ]
494
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,943
Air it!
495
00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:55,237
[ Bell ringing ]
496
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,951
Peter, you got a pink slip
at work?
497
00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:02,911
You think that's bad?
498
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:06,039
Remember the time I got
a salmon helmet from Muhammad
499
00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,416
while wearing a toga?
500
00:20:07,541 --> 00:20:08,792
[ Doorbell rings ]
501
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:11,253
Coming, Muhammad!
502
00:20:23,682 --> 00:20:25,392
Wow!
A salmon helmet!
503
00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:27,185
Thanks!
504
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,104
Anyway, what were we
talking about?
505
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,106
Oh, yeah.
My pink slip.
506
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,775
Hey, that wasn't bad at all.
507
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,945
They just showed Muhammad
standing there, looking normal!
508
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:39,698
Mr. President, the terrorists
are retaliating!
509
00:20:39,823 --> 00:20:41,366
- What?!
- Remember the time I --
510
00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:43,493
And as soon as the image
of Muhammad appeared,
511
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:46,747
terrorist leader al-Zawahiri
announced the retaliation.
512
00:20:57,048 --> 00:20:59,634
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
513
00:21:02,137 --> 00:21:04,097
Hello!
I am American!
514
00:21:04,222 --> 00:21:05,682
I am American, too!
515
00:21:05,807 --> 00:21:07,392
We like to crap on each other!
516
00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:09,060
[ Farting ]
517
00:21:09,186 --> 00:21:12,189
Hello. I am the President Bush.
I will crap on both you.
518
00:21:12,314 --> 00:21:13,190
- [ Farts ]
- Oh!
519
00:21:13,315 --> 00:21:14,649
We love to crap!
520
00:21:14,775 --> 00:21:15,901
I'm American!
521
00:21:16,026 --> 00:21:18,028
I'm pregnant with a baby,
but I'm not married.
522
00:21:18,153 --> 00:21:19,571
Let's crap!
523
00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:20,947
[ Farting ]
524
00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:22,199
Look at me.
I'm Jesus.
525
00:21:22,324 --> 00:21:24,993
Would you like for me
to crap on you, Mr. Bush?
526
00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:26,161
[ Farting ]
527
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,622
ALL:
Mmm! Yummy, Yummy crap!
528
00:21:28,747 --> 00:21:30,332
[All farting ]
38884
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