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1
00:00:08,635 --> 00:00:11,971
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,681
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,350
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:15,475 --> 00:00:18,561
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,271
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,606
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:25,109
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:25,235 --> 00:00:28,112
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
9
00:00:28,238 --> 00:00:32,992
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:34,327 --> 00:00:36,621
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
11
00:00:39,499 --> 00:00:41,918
"But the Bubble Gum Prince
wasn't afraid."
12
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:44,170
"He knew that
the Land of Chocolate was safe
13
00:00:44,295 --> 00:00:46,589
forever and ever."
14
00:00:47,966 --> 00:00:49,717
Good night, my little angel.
15
00:00:56,474 --> 00:00:58,309
- Stan!
- What?! What?!
16
00:00:58,434 --> 00:00:59,602
Get up!
Get your shoes on!
17
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:00,979
We've got to get out of here!
Move!
18
00:01:01,646 --> 00:01:02,522
Take this!
19
00:01:02,647 --> 00:01:04,148
We've got to bring
all the water we can!
20
00:01:04,274 --> 00:01:05,733
Shelly, go get my gun!
21
00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:07,193
What's going on, Dad?
22
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:09,529
Just get the gun!
23
00:01:10,572 --> 00:01:12,490
All right.
Come on!
24
00:01:12,615 --> 00:01:15,243
[All screaming ]
25
00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:18,121
[ Groaning ]
26
00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:19,747
WOMAN:
Look out!
27
00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:22,166
Kyle, what the hell
is going on this time?
28
00:01:22,292 --> 00:01:23,626
I have no idea!
29
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,795
[ Engine revs ]
30
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,338
[ Screams ]
31
00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:30,091
Oh! Oh!
32
00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:33,428
MAN: Take cover in
the community center again!
33
00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:39,892
All right! Everyone get in
and get a seal on that door!
34
00:01:40,018 --> 00:01:41,728
Oh, my God, Stephen!
We've left Butters!
35
00:01:41,853 --> 00:01:43,229
We can't go back out there,
Linda!
36
00:01:43,354 --> 00:01:44,439
It's too late for him!
37
00:01:44,564 --> 00:01:47,108
Dad?
Dad, what the hell is going on?!
38
00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:49,569
[ Sighs ]
A cartoon.
39
00:01:49,694 --> 00:01:53,531
A cartoon is about to air
on American television with...
40
00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:56,868
with the Muslim prophet
Muhammad as a character.
41
00:01:57,827 --> 00:01:58,995
So?
42
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:02,540
So?! Stanley, Muhammad is sacred
to the Muslim people.
43
00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:05,543
Ever since those cartoons in
Denmark, the rules have changed.
44
00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:08,463
Nobody shows an image
of Muhammad anymore.
45
00:02:08,588 --> 00:02:09,756
Which cartoon is it?
46
00:02:09,881 --> 00:02:11,382
What cartoon would be
so insensitive
47
00:02:11,507 --> 00:02:13,551
as to have Muhammad
as a character?
48
00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:14,844
Who do you think?
49
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,387
The cartoon that's
always pushing buttons
50
00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:18,973
with their careless
toilet humor.
51
00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:20,475
"Family Guy"!
52
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:21,768
ALL:
Aww!
53
00:02:21,893 --> 00:02:24,562
How could "Family Guy" do that?
54
00:02:24,687 --> 00:02:27,607
Why would "Family Guy"
so blatantly insult Muslims?
55
00:02:27,732 --> 00:02:30,568
Because "Family Guy"
doesn't care who they insult!
56
00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:33,571
They only care about
their precious money!
57
00:02:33,696 --> 00:02:34,489
Oh, come on, people.
58
00:02:34,614 --> 00:02:36,949
You think anybody's gonna be
that pissed off about a cartoon?
59
00:02:37,075 --> 00:02:39,494
- We've got the TV working!
- [ Static ]
60
00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:43,289
Once again, a cartoon depicting
the Muslim prophet Muhammad
61
00:02:43,414 --> 00:02:46,376
is set to air tonight
on "Family Guy."
62
00:02:46,501 --> 00:02:48,086
Oh, Randy, hold me.
63
00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:50,838
The news has already sparked
a shock wave of protests
64
00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:52,548
throughout the Muslim world.
65
00:02:52,674 --> 00:02:53,841
All over the Middle East,
66
00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:55,343
Muslims are burning
American flags
67
00:02:55,468 --> 00:02:57,095
and "Family Guy" posters.
68
00:02:57,220 --> 00:03:00,431
Muslim terrorists al-Zawahiri
made this statement.
69
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:18,241
So what happens now?
70
00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:19,909
We stay here through the night.
71
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:22,620
Wait it out
to see if they do anything.
72
00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:24,914
If we're still alive
in the morning...
73
00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:27,291
then we'll know we're not dead.
74
00:03:28,126 --> 00:03:30,378
[ Birds chirping ]
75
00:03:33,965 --> 00:03:35,591
It's okay!
76
00:03:35,717 --> 00:03:37,009
We're alive?
77
00:03:37,135 --> 00:03:38,845
We're alive!
78
00:03:38,970 --> 00:03:40,805
Everyone!
Everyone listen!
79
00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:44,517
Fox network censored the image
of Muhammad at the last minute!
80
00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:46,310
- Oh, thank God.
- Oh, good.
81
00:03:46,436 --> 00:03:48,855
Well, it looks like
we dodged a bullet.
82
00:03:48,980 --> 00:03:51,315
They censored the image
of Muhammad? How?
83
00:03:51,441 --> 00:03:52,483
I TiVo every episode.
84
00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:55,027
We can go to my house
and see what they did.
85
00:03:57,989 --> 00:04:00,158
- Okay, you guys. Check it out.
- [ Popping ]
86
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:02,201
You TiVo every episode
of "Family Guy"?
87
00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:03,286
Dude, it's a good show.
88
00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:04,829
Yeah. Lots of people
like "Family Guy."
89
00:04:04,954 --> 00:04:05,997
Ugh.
90
00:04:06,122 --> 00:04:08,166
Peter, I can't believe
you invited
91
00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:11,794
your old high school sweetheart
over for dinner!
92
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,463
You think that's bad?
93
00:04:13,588 --> 00:04:16,799
Remember when I auditioned
to be David Hasselhoff's car?
94
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,634
Hey, there, Knight Rider!
95
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,595
After those bad guys, KITT.
96
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,139
[ Humming ]
97
00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:25,224
Yeah, but, Dad,
why would you invite
98
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:26,893
an ex-girlfriend to dinner?
99
00:04:27,018 --> 00:04:29,520
Perhaps he wants to make
our mother nervous.
100
00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:30,730
Nervous?!
101
00:04:30,855 --> 00:04:34,567
Like when I had to sell pancakes
to the school soccer captain?
102
00:04:34,692 --> 00:04:35,777
[ Doorbell rings ]
103
00:04:35,902 --> 00:04:37,695
Pancakes for you, Captain.
104
00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:40,406
I'll be the Captain,
and you be Tennille!
105
00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:42,241
[ Down-tempo introduction
plays ]
106
00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,619
♪ Love will keep us together ♪
107
00:04:44,744 --> 00:04:46,954
- [ Laughs ]
- Ugh.
108
00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:49,540
But, Peter, I don't want
to cook dinner
109
00:04:49,665 --> 00:04:51,250
for your ex-girlfriend.
110
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,628
Well, maybe we can
just have tea.
111
00:04:53,753 --> 00:04:55,963
You mean like the time
you had tea with Muhammad,
112
00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:57,840
the prophet
of the Muslim faith?
113
00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,301
Come on, Muhammad.
Let's get some tea.
114
00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:01,803
[ Birds chirping ]
115
00:05:01,928 --> 00:05:05,556
Try my Mr. T Tea.
116
00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:07,475
Boy, was that ever weird.
117
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,602
Anyway, I can't believe
I invited
118
00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:11,604
my old sweetheart to dinner,
huh?
119
00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:14,524
That's it?
That's all they did?
120
00:05:14,649 --> 00:05:16,275
Oh, man.
That's not cool.
121
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,944
Seriously, that is not cool.
122
00:05:18,069 --> 00:05:19,195
What?
What's the big deal?
123
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:20,238
What's the big deal?
124
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:21,823
You guys, they just made fun
of the religion
125
00:05:21,948 --> 00:05:23,407
of an entire group of people.
126
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,369
You guys think that's okay?
127
00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:28,162
Do you care at all
about people's feelings?
128
00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:29,205
Since when do you care about
129
00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:30,957
being sensitive to people's
religion, Cartman?
130
00:05:31,082 --> 00:05:32,792
Yeah, you rip on people's
religion all the time!
131
00:05:32,917 --> 00:05:35,044
That's different!
I'm just a little boy.
132
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:37,380
That's a cartoon.
Millions of people watch it.
133
00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:38,422
How would you feel, Kyle,
134
00:05:38,548 --> 00:05:39,799
if there was a cartoon
on television
135
00:05:39,924 --> 00:05:42,301
that made fun of Jews
all the time, huh?
136
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:43,845
Uh...
137
00:05:43,970 --> 00:05:46,514
I'm telling you guys,
it's wrong.
138
00:05:46,639 --> 00:05:48,432
It's wrong!
139
00:05:49,642 --> 00:05:52,395
It's wro-o-o-o-ng!
140
00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:56,983
Kyle? Kyle!
What are you watching?!
141
00:05:57,108 --> 00:05:58,901
Hey, Brian,
this is like the time
142
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,695
I got a job as a carrot cake.
143
00:06:00,820 --> 00:06:02,488
Aah!
It's "Family Guy"!
144
00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:04,115
Quick, Gerald!
Do something!
145
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:05,449
Hyah!
146
00:06:05,575 --> 00:06:08,035
- Gaah! Aah!
- [ Electricity crackling ]
147
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,329
Dad! Dad!
Jesus Christ!
148
00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:12,707
[ Breathing heavily ]
It's okay.
149
00:06:12,832 --> 00:06:13,708
It's dead.
150
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:15,793
You boys know you're
not supposed to watch
151
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,044
that careless show!
152
00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:18,337
Mom, it was nothing.
153
00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:20,423
Muhammad just stood there
and then drank some tea.
154
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:22,592
You boys don't understand
anything!
155
00:06:22,717 --> 00:06:26,804
It's obvious that you all need
Muslim sensitivity training!
156
00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:30,182
Welcome to Muslim
sensitivity training.
157
00:06:30,308 --> 00:06:32,810
It is important
for us to understand
158
00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:35,187
why the Muslims feel
the way they do
159
00:06:35,313 --> 00:06:38,316
and why we can never show
an image of Muhammad.
160
00:06:38,441 --> 00:06:40,776
No, Muslims can't show
an image of Muhammad.
161
00:06:40,902 --> 00:06:42,612
Kyle, you're not being
very sensitive.
162
00:06:42,737 --> 00:06:43,404
Yeah, Kyle.
163
00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:46,240
Maybe you think this is funny,
but the rest of us don't.
164
00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:48,826
Let's all look at
why Muslims are upset.
165
00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:51,162
First of all,
in the Muslim religion,
166
00:06:51,287 --> 00:06:53,998
you're not allowed to have what?
167
00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:56,042
Sex!
Good.
168
00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:59,170
There's no sex until marriage
in the Muslim world.
169
00:06:59,295 --> 00:07:01,839
Now, this would be fine, except
that in the Muslim religion
170
00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,549
you also can't...
171
00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:05,426
Anybody?
172
00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:07,386
Jack off.
Okay?
173
00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:10,598
Jacking it is strictly forbidden
in the Muslim religion.
174
00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:13,559
And what do we know
about the places Muslims live?
175
00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,603
They live in...
176
00:07:15,728 --> 00:07:18,230
Good.
Sand.
177
00:07:18,356 --> 00:07:20,566
Now, put yourself
in the shoes of a Muslim.
178
00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:22,026
It's Friday night,
179
00:07:22,151 --> 00:07:25,029
but you can't have sex,
and you can't jack off.
180
00:07:25,154 --> 00:07:26,280
There's sand in your eyes
181
00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:27,740
and probably in the crack
of your ass,
182
00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:29,200
and then some cartoon
comes along,
183
00:07:29,325 --> 00:07:31,285
from a country where people
are getting laid,
184
00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:32,745
and mocks your prophet.
185
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:35,581
Well, you know what?
I'd be pretty pissed off, too!
186
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:37,875
Mrs. Garrison,
that is ignorant and racist!
187
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,543
Muslims are mad
because of "Family Guy,"
188
00:07:39,669 --> 00:07:40,962
not because they can't jack off.
189
00:07:41,087 --> 00:07:42,088
Right, Wendy?
190
00:07:42,213 --> 00:07:43,381
Yeah.
191
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:46,509
MR. MACKEY: Attention, students,
proceed to the school gymnasium
192
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:49,428
immediately for
an emergency announcement!
193
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,806
What the hell is going on now?
194
00:07:51,931 --> 00:07:53,516
[ Indistinct conversations ]
195
00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:55,935
Shh!
Quiet, students! Quiet!
196
00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:57,728
Once again,
we have just learned
197
00:07:57,853 --> 00:08:00,356
that the "Family Guy" episode
featuring Muhammad
198
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:03,067
was only part one
of a two-parter!
199
00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:05,569
And part two is going to air
next week
200
00:08:05,695 --> 00:08:07,738
with Muhammad uncensored.
201
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,824
- What?
- Why would they...
202
00:08:09,949 --> 00:08:12,493
Fox Studios claims that
the "Family Guy" writing staff
203
00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:15,830
has demanded the Muhammad
character be seen in full view.
204
00:08:15,955 --> 00:08:17,707
The head of Fox had this to say.
205
00:08:17,832 --> 00:08:19,875
"Family Guy"
is our biggest show.
206
00:08:20,001 --> 00:08:23,713
If they insist we don't censor
their work, then we -- we can't!
207
00:08:23,838 --> 00:08:25,923
"Family Guy"!
208
00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:27,842
I damn you to hell!
209
00:08:27,967 --> 00:08:30,720
MAN: Once again, bitter riots
have started in the Middle East,
210
00:08:30,845 --> 00:08:32,471
this time even more massive.
211
00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:35,933
And terrorist leader al-Zawahiri
has issued a threat.
212
00:08:53,034 --> 00:08:55,578
- [ Dramatic music plays ]
- Retaliation.
213
00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:58,122
Oh, my God, m'kay.
214
00:08:58,247 --> 00:09:00,291
[ Bell rings ]
215
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:02,710
Goddamn "Family Guy."
216
00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:04,378
Now they're just
provoking people.
217
00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:06,047
It's like they want a holy war.
218
00:09:06,172 --> 00:09:07,798
Does this mean we don't
have school all week?
219
00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:09,717
You guys, this is serious!
220
00:09:09,842 --> 00:09:11,802
- We have to do something.
- Mrph rmh?
221
00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,888
We have to go to Fox network
in L.A.
222
00:09:14,013 --> 00:09:17,058
We have to go and...
try to get that episode pulled.
223
00:09:17,183 --> 00:09:18,768
You guys with me?
224
00:09:18,893 --> 00:09:19,852
Dude, we can't go anywhere.
225
00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:21,604
They've shut down the airports
and the buses.
226
00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:23,397
Then we'll ride our Big Wheels!
227
00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:25,941
- To Los Angeles?
- If that's what it takes, yes!
228
00:09:26,067 --> 00:09:27,276
We have to talk to the network.
229
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,528
The "Family Guy" writers
aren't gonna back down!
230
00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:31,155
Well, good for them!
They shouldn't!
231
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,239
The writers are standing up
232
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:34,075
and saying they aren't
going to be intimidated.
233
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,242
Intimidated?
234
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,827
Is that what you think
this is about, Kyle?
235
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:38,746
All right, dude. What the hell
has gotten into you?
236
00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:40,164
I don't trust for one second
237
00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:42,666
that your sudden concern
for the Muslim people is real.
238
00:09:42,792 --> 00:09:43,751
All right.
Fine, Kyle.
239
00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:45,377
Forget the Muslim faith
for a minute.
240
00:09:45,503 --> 00:09:46,879
People can get hurt.
241
00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,506
If 10 people die
because "Family Guy"
242
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,174
just had to have
their little joke,
243
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:51,509
will you still think it's funny?
244
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,219
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
245
00:09:53,344 --> 00:09:56,055
What if a hundred people die?
Will it be funny then, Kyle?
246
00:09:57,807 --> 00:10:00,768
I'm going to Los Angeles,
and I'm gonna do whatever I can
247
00:10:00,893 --> 00:10:02,937
to get that episode pulled
before this gets out of hand.
248
00:10:03,062 --> 00:10:05,481
Somebody has to speak
for the Muslim people.
249
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,525
Somebody has to speak
for what's right.
250
00:10:13,823 --> 00:10:16,033
[ Insects chirping ]
251
00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:21,497
Kyle! Kyle, wake up!
We have to go!
252
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,958
The terrorists are attacking!
253
00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:25,626
[All screaming ]
254
00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,294
Dad, are you sure this time?
255
00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:28,671
This isn't a joke, Kyle.
256
00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:31,132
Bombs have already gone off
in six cities!
257
00:10:31,257 --> 00:10:32,550
- No!
- Wait a minute!
258
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,426
- Where's Ike?!
- He was just here!
259
00:10:34,552 --> 00:10:36,095
- Ike!
- Ike!
260
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:38,222
[ Crowd screaming ]
261
00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:40,099
Ike?!
Ike!
262
00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:41,100
Ike!
263
00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:43,477
Ice cream!
264
00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:45,437
I want chocolate!
265
00:10:45,563 --> 00:10:47,648
Ike, this way!
266
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,193
Ike!
267
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,155
Kyle!
268
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,323
No!
269
00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:57,867
[ Gasps ]
270
00:10:57,992 --> 00:10:59,952
[ Breathing heavily ]
271
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:06,917
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
272
00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:20,014
You come to try and stop me?
273
00:11:20,139 --> 00:11:22,600
It isn't gonna work.
274
00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:24,101
I didn't come to stop you.
275
00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,937
I-I think you're right, Cartman.
276
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:29,648
I want to help you get
the "Family Guy" episode pulled.
277
00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:31,567
[ Music continues ]
278
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:34,361
Yeah. Well, I don't need
a partner on this.
279
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:37,239
Especially one
who doesn't trust me.
280
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,490
Look, Cartman.
281
00:11:38,616 --> 00:11:39,909
I don't know what's gotten
into you,
282
00:11:40,034 --> 00:11:42,286
but I think it's pretty amazing.
283
00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:43,537
And I think it's real.
284
00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:46,957
You have to understand why
I didn't believe you before.
285
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,878
Yeah, I do understand, Kyle.
286
00:11:51,003 --> 00:11:53,339
I've been doing the wrong things
for a long time,
287
00:11:53,464 --> 00:11:55,758
doing things
for my own selfish reasons.
288
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:58,385
I just want to do something
right, you know?
289
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,304
Just this one time.
290
00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:02,765
It's a long trip, dude.
You're gonna need help.
291
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:05,559
We can try and get
the episode pulled together.
292
00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:08,062
You know, we might not
even make it into the studio.
293
00:12:08,187 --> 00:12:09,230
I know.
294
00:12:09,355 --> 00:12:13,317
But just like you...
I feel like I have to try.
295
00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:15,527
People can really get hurt.
296
00:12:15,653 --> 00:12:17,446
And a joke just isn't worth
that.
297
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,490
So what made you change
your mind?
298
00:12:20,241 --> 00:12:23,410
I got some sound advice
from an old friend.
299
00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:28,332
Well, Kyle,
we'd better get going.
300
00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:29,458
Yeah!
301
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:32,795
[ Dramatic music plays ]
302
00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:35,881
You set?
303
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:37,424
I'm set.
Let's do this!
304
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:38,550
All right!
Let's roll!
305
00:12:43,514 --> 00:12:44,682
[ Indistinct shouting ]
306
00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:47,226
People!
People, quiet, please!
307
00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:48,769
We must not panic.
308
00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:50,229
Well, what are we gonna do,
Mayor?
309
00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:53,482
Part two of the "Family Guy"
episode airs in six days!
310
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:56,610
I believe that Professor Thomas
from the university
311
00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,279
has come up with a solution.
312
00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:00,489
Thank you, Mayor.
313
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,824
Now, look, everyone.
314
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:04,493
Muslim terrorists and extremists
are threatening us
315
00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:06,245
for what "Family Guy"
is going to do
316
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,539
because they've wrongly
grouped us together.
317
00:13:08,664 --> 00:13:11,500
Our only hope is to make
the Muslim extremists know
318
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:14,253
that we had no part
in the Muhammad episode,
319
00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:16,005
that even though
the episode aired,
320
00:13:16,130 --> 00:13:18,966
we didn't watch it,
we didn't hear it,
321
00:13:19,091 --> 00:13:21,093
and we didn't talk about it.
322
00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:22,428
So how do we do that?
323
00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:27,057
We bury our heads...in sand.
324
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:31,061
We take 20 to 25 dump trucks,
325
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,771
fill them with sand
from Monarch Lake,
326
00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:35,190
and then dump the sand
along South Park Avenue.
327
00:13:35,316 --> 00:13:37,109
By using approximately
18 dozen shovels,
328
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,111
we could each dig a hole
in the sand,
329
00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:40,362
stick our heads in the holes,
330
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,698
and then have the person
to our left bury them.
331
00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:44,658
If we can manage
to get every person's head
332
00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:45,993
buried deep, deep in sand
333
00:13:46,118 --> 00:13:48,078
before the Muhammad episode
airs,
334
00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:49,955
we could avoid looking
like we're responsible
335
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,457
for any part of this at all.
336
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:54,918
No. No. Wait a minute.
That's ridiculous.
337
00:13:55,044 --> 00:13:57,880
Look. What we need to do
is just the opposite.
338
00:13:58,005 --> 00:13:59,548
Freedom of speech is at stake
here.
339
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:00,758
Don't you all see?
340
00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:03,802
If anything, we should all
make cartoons of Muhammad
341
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:06,347
and show the terrorists
and the extremists
342
00:14:06,472 --> 00:14:08,349
that we are all united
in the belief
343
00:14:08,474 --> 00:14:11,143
that every person has a right
to say what they want.
344
00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:14,313
Look, people, it's...
it's been real easy for us
345
00:14:14,438 --> 00:14:16,190
to stand up
for free speech lately.
346
00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:17,441
For the past few decades,
347
00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:20,361
we haven't had to risk anything
to defend it.
348
00:14:20,486 --> 00:14:22,821
But those times
are going to come.
349
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,032
And one of those times
is right now.
350
00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:29,536
And if we aren't willing
to risk what we have,
351
00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:32,831
then we just believe
in free speech,
352
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:35,292
but we don't defend it.
353
00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:38,379
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
354
00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:40,714
I like the sand idea.
355
00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:41,840
Yeah.
Me too.
356
00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:44,009
Yeah. The sand thing
sounds a lot simpler.
357
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:46,637
- Let's do the sand thing.
- Yeah. Let's do the sand thing.
358
00:14:46,762 --> 00:14:49,306
We're gonna need eight dozen
shovels and 16 tons of sand!
359
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:51,100
Let's move, people!
360
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,314
We've got six days
to make it to Los Angeles.
361
00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:58,816
If we keep our stops
to a minimum,
362
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,901
we should be able to get
the episode pulled just in time.
363
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:03,278
Yes, and in just a few weeks
from now,
364
00:15:03,404 --> 00:15:06,073
"Family Guy" will be
off the air forever!
365
00:15:06,198 --> 00:15:07,616
Off the air?
366
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:08,784
But we're just going to try
367
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:10,327
to get the Muhammad episode
pulled.
368
00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:12,204
It's simple television
economics, Kyle.
369
00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:13,705
All it takes to kill a show
forever
370
00:15:13,831 --> 00:15:15,541
is get one episode pulled.
371
00:15:15,666 --> 00:15:17,334
If we convince the network
to pull this episode
372
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:18,585
for the sake of Muslims,
373
00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:21,004
the Catholics can demand a show
they don't like get pulled.
374
00:15:21,130 --> 00:15:22,506
And then people
with disabilities can demand
375
00:15:22,631 --> 00:15:24,925
another show get pulled,
and so on and so on,
376
00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:27,010
until "Family Guy" is no more.
377
00:15:27,136 --> 00:15:29,179
It's exactly what happened
to "Laverne & Shirley."
378
00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:33,016
- Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute!
- [ Tires screech ]
379
00:15:33,142 --> 00:15:34,435
This isn't what I signed up for!
380
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:35,853
I like "Family Guy."
381
00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:37,813
Why do we have to get it
off the air forever?
382
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:40,149
Because they --
they made f-fun of Muslims,
383
00:15:40,274 --> 00:15:41,275
and -- and that's wrong.
384
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,277
But that doesn't mean
it has to go off the air!
385
00:15:43,402 --> 00:15:44,361
You should like that show.
386
00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:46,321
Your sense of humor
is just like "Family Guy."
387
00:15:46,447 --> 00:15:47,781
[ Dramatic music plays ]
388
00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:50,951
Don't you ever, ever
compare me to "Family Guy."
389
00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:52,119
You hear me, Kyle?!
390
00:15:52,244 --> 00:15:53,829
Compare me to "Family Guy"
again,
391
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:57,166
and so help me,
I will kill you where you stand.
392
00:16:00,419 --> 00:16:03,088
You unbelievable son of a bitch.
393
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:04,965
You never cared about
the Muslim religion
394
00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:07,092
or the safety
of people in America.
395
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:09,219
You just want "Family Guy"
off the air.
396
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:11,388
Do you have any idea
what it's like?
397
00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:12,556
Everywhere I go --
398
00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:14,725
"Hey, Cartman, you must like
'Family Guy,' right?"
399
00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:16,852
"Your sense of humor reminds me
of 'Family Guy,' Cartman."
400
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,771
I am nothing like "Family Guy."
401
00:16:19,897 --> 00:16:22,024
When I make jokes,
they are inherent to a story,
402
00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:23,859
deep situational
and emotional jokes
403
00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:25,986
based on what is relevant
and has a point,
404
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,821
not just one random,
interchangeable joke
405
00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:29,031
after another!
406
00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:30,782
What are you talking about?
407
00:16:30,908 --> 00:16:31,992
You don't understand!
408
00:16:32,576 --> 00:16:35,537
I can't believe I let you
scare me into taking your side.
409
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,499
You used fear to make me
stop believing in free speech.
410
00:16:38,624 --> 00:16:41,877
Well, I guess you won't
be helping me now.
411
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,337
No biggie.
412
00:16:43,462 --> 00:16:45,506
I don't need you
to get the episode pulled.
413
00:16:45,631 --> 00:16:46,256
No.
414
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:48,550
I am not letting you go
to that television studio
415
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,220
and pretend to care
about safety and sensitivity
416
00:16:51,345 --> 00:16:53,180
to get a show you don't like
off the air!
417
00:16:53,305 --> 00:16:55,265
Well, then, Kyle, I guess --
418
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:56,808
Oh, my God.
Is that Tim McGraw?
419
00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:58,185
What?
[ Grunts ]
420
00:16:58,310 --> 00:16:59,811
[ Dramatic music plays ]
421
00:16:59,937 --> 00:17:01,772
Cartman!
422
00:17:03,315 --> 00:17:06,109
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
423
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,489
- [ Grunts ]
- [ Tires screeching ]
424
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:16,453
Kyle, stop it!
425
00:17:31,343 --> 00:17:32,636
[ Music continues ]
426
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:35,222
[ Tires screeching ]
427
00:17:41,562 --> 00:17:42,938
[ Horn blares ]
428
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,898
- Holy crap!
- Aah!
429
00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:46,900
[ Horn blares ]
430
00:17:50,696 --> 00:17:53,615
[ Siren wailing ]
431
00:17:58,829 --> 00:18:00,289
Stay on 'em!
432
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:05,961
[ Tires screeching ]
433
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,463
Jesus, Mary!
434
00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:23,729
If you have children, be sure
to bury their heads in the sand
435
00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:25,439
before you bury your own.
436
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,819
Dad, I don't want to bury
my head in the sand.
437
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:33,238
It's the best way, Stanley.
Did you eat your Fruit Roll-up?
438
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,156
Yeah.
439
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:35,741
Make sure your snorkel
is working.
440
00:18:36,867 --> 00:18:38,285
All right.
Now get your head in the hole.
441
00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:39,661
Dad, this is stupid.
442
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,455
Stanley, there's no time
for your immaturity!
443
00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:42,664
Do it!
444
00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:46,752
All right, Sharon.
Now do me.
445
00:18:51,465 --> 00:18:53,258
Professor, we all
just thought of something.
446
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,302
If everyone has
their head buried
447
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:57,137
by the person standing
to their left,
448
00:18:57,262 --> 00:19:00,557
then who's gonna bury
the last person's head?
449
00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:03,810
Yes, I'm afraid one person
is going to have to be last
450
00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:07,356
and...not have his head
in the sand.
451
00:19:07,481 --> 00:19:10,192
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
452
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:11,151
I'll do it.
453
00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,444
Dylan, no!
454
00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:15,280
You realize by not burying
your head in sand,
455
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:18,241
you'll appear to be a part
of the "Family Guy" audience.
456
00:19:18,367 --> 00:19:19,701
Yes.
I know.
457
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,161
Dylan, please!
You can't!
458
00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:23,121
Somebody has to do it, Sarah!
459
00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:25,707
You run along now and you
get your head in the sand.
460
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,918
I'll be all right.
461
00:19:28,043 --> 00:19:29,920
[ Sobbing ]
462
00:19:30,045 --> 00:19:31,797
You have to understand.
463
00:19:31,922 --> 00:19:33,131
I'm all she has.
464
00:19:35,634 --> 00:19:37,803
Who are those people?
465
00:19:37,928 --> 00:19:40,138
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
466
00:19:57,322 --> 00:19:58,198
No!
467
00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:00,701
[ Tires screeching ]
468
00:20:00,826 --> 00:20:02,369
[ Screams ]
469
00:20:04,788 --> 00:20:05,831
Aah!
470
00:20:14,131 --> 00:20:16,591
[ Grunts ]
471
00:20:16,717 --> 00:20:20,095
[ Laughs ]
So long, Kyle!
472
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,764
You son of a bitch!
I won't let you win!
473
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:23,765
You hear me?!
474
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,935
Suck my balls, Kyle!
475
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:29,312
[ Sobs ]
476
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:31,898
[ Screams ]
477
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:34,109
[ Dramatic music plays ]
478
00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:41,408
Are you the network president?
479
00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:42,743
Yes, Mr. President.
480
00:20:42,868 --> 00:20:46,371
We need to discuss this "Family
Guy" episode, Mr. President.
481
00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:48,290
Mr. President,
my hands are tied.
482
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:51,334
The "Family Guy" writers insist
I don't censor Muhammad.
483
00:20:51,460 --> 00:20:54,254
But, Mr. President, this is
a matter of national security.
484
00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:55,964
They must be reasoned with.
485
00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:57,591
Mr. President...
486
00:20:57,716 --> 00:20:59,926
there's something about
the "Family Guy" writing staff
487
00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:02,262
I think you should know.
488
00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:04,723
[ Music continues ]
489
00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:07,142
MAN:
Next week on "South Park"...
490
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,144
the race continues.
491
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:11,813
Cartman reaches
the "Family Guy" studio
492
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,148
and learns the shocking secret
493
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:15,400
behind the "Family Guy"
writing staff...
494
00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,611
This explains everything.
495
00:21:17,736 --> 00:21:20,489
MAN:...as an entire nation
buries its head in sand...
496
00:21:20,614 --> 00:21:22,240
The idea has swept the nation.
497
00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:25,076
But where will we find
enough sand for everyone?
498
00:21:25,202 --> 00:21:28,789
MAN:...and the battle between
good and evil is finally waged.
499
00:21:28,914 --> 00:21:30,248
Kyle, quit it!
500
00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:31,458
Stop it, Kyle!
501
00:21:31,583 --> 00:21:34,461
MAN: Will the cartoon be allowed
to appear uncensored?
502
00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:36,463
Will "Family Guy" be destroyed?
503
00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:39,424
Will television executives
fight for free speech,
504
00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:41,468
or will Comedy Central puss out?
505
00:21:41,593 --> 00:21:43,970
Tune in to see part two
of "Family Guy,"
506
00:21:44,095 --> 00:21:45,722
next week on "South Park."
36847
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