Original subtitles

Previously on Cruel Intentions.

So you'll be paying Caroline,

your actual daughter, a visit while you're here?

Yeah, I know, I'm just your stepmother.

I always thought of you as a little bit mine.

You know what?

- Fuck that book. - Fuck it.

Fuck Heaven and fuck dictatorships.

Fuck ex-wives.

My dad comes here for Parents' Weekend, so we gotta stop whoever's doing this.

Like, the gay stuff.

I'm not gay. Yeah, I love girls.

- Scott. - Annie Grover. Hi.

I'm so glad I ran into you again.

Guess the heart wants what the heart wants.

We need Annie. She's the vice president's daughter.

We haven't received your RSVP for Heaven tonight.

I don't want to be disappointed in you again.

But I have a plan. Mom, I'm getting Annie Grover.

Welcome to Heaven.

♪ My friend has problems With winter and autumn ♪

♪ They give him prescriptions They shine bright lights on him ♪

♪ They say it's genetic They say he can't help it ♪

♪ They say you can catch it But sometimes you're born with it ♪

♪ My friend has maladies Rickets and allergies ♪

♪ That she dates back to The 17th century ♪

♪ Somehow she manages in her misery ♪

♪ Strips in the city And shows all her best tricks ♪

♪ With me, well, I'm well Well, I mean I'm in Hell ♪

♪ Well, I still have my health At least that's what they tell me ♪

♪ If wellness is this What in Hell's name is sickness? ♪

♪ But business is business And business runs in the family ♪

♪ We tend to bruise easily They say that I'm crazy ♪

♪ But they would say anything If it would shut me up ♪

So chic.

Not for today.

That was good.

- Yeah, that was really good. - Mm-hmm.

I like your mouth shape.

- Thank... Thank you. - Yeah.

So, you're gonna come to the lacrosse game tonight?

- Oh, um, my mom is here, so... - Bring her.

It's the fastest game on two feet,

which I never really understood

because there's more than one player on the team, so wouldn't it make it, like,

the fastest game on, like, a bunch of feet?

- Hmm. - I don't know. Whatever.

It's... It's the fastest.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, we like fast.

Um, I just don't...

I don't wanna make it weird

'cause I-I may have told my mom that we're, like, hanging out and stuff.

No, yeah. That's... That's awesome 'cause, uh,

like, I told my parents we're...

- we're hanging out and stuff too, so... - Oh.

They always really liked you.

Mine always really liked you too.

They're probably gonna want to say hi, you know?

My dad likes to shake hands and stuff.

Yeah, my... my dad likes to shake hands too.

So, I'll see you later then?

Yeah, uh, at dinner and after at the, uh, the hotel.

What?

My parents got me a room just to be closer to them.

- Oh. - Yeah.

It's not, like, too close or anything.

- It's not, like, attached. It's just... - Right.

- Yeah. So... - Oh, okay.

We could hang out there later, but only... only if you want.

At-At the hotel?

Yes. Yeah.

- Uh, yeah, I would. - Cool.

Okay.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Bye. - Bye.

Excuse me, miss, this is really strange,

but you look almost identical to this girl I know.

Cassidy Featherstone.

Oh, I get that a lot, but I'm not her.

Okay, wait, how have you been?

- I've been great. - That's great.

I'm glad you've been great. I've been really great too.

I haven't really seen you around much lately.

Oh, well, I have been.

Have been what?

Around.

- Oh, you have, have you? - Mm-hmm, yeah.

Just, um, not around you.

But have a good weekend.

- Is the bulimia back? - No. I wish.

I think I might be really sick.

Oh, no.

I can't sleep. I'm having heart palpitations.

I know I'm hungry, but I can't keep any food down.

You don't think I'm pregnant, do you?

When did you have sex?

When did... Blandsman!

Who?

Okay, not that there was any real penetration or anything,

but, well, trust me, there was ejaculate everywhere.

I mean, a lot of semen on a lot of surfaces.

So, like it or not, it is medically possible.

Feel that chill in the air?

Yes, yes, Mother's arrival is imminent.

I'm actually excited to see her.

Especially since my mom scheduled a colonic for this weekend.

Apparently, she already moved it twice so she can't move it again.

- Didn't that happen last year? - And the year before that.

Okay, I should probably go home before I throw up so I'm ready for dinner.

Nice, the bulimia is back.

Okay, go get some rest, CeCe.

So, Scott Russell's really the best you could do?

As much as I'd like to take credit for Annie's newfound love life,

I, unfortunately, had nothing to do with it.

But seeing as it does serve my purposes,

maybe you stay out of it.

So, you're calling off the bet?

That's a forfeit.

No, I'm taking a gentleman's intermission.

- What the fuck's that? - Leave her alone this weekend.

Oh, so you don't want a fourth with your three-way with Mommy?

You said you were bored.

I'm giving you a chance to regroup.

I don't need to regroup.

- Take one. - What if I don't wanna?

You can't win this weekend.

So, Mommy's really got you that stressed, huh?

Lucien... ...I have this meticulously planned out,

and I don't need your grubby little fingers in the pot.

Scott Russell is not gonna get in the way

of me getting what you promised me, Caroline.

And I wish you nothing but success in your future endeavors.

Guess I'll have to go entertain myself.

- Hey. - Oh, hey, dude. What's up?

Oh, I just got some fraternity business here for you, Mr. President.

Okay, one sec.

How's everything going with Annie?

Dude, pretty good.

We were making out earlier and it was, like...

It was hot.

- I can only imagine. - Yeah, she's awesome.

And she kind of reminds me of, like... like my mom.

Or, uh, Christina Aguilera.

- Well, she certainly has it all. - Yeah.

Look, I just need your signature here just to reimburse me

for everything I got for the luau.

Okay.

Whoa, that's... that's kind of a lot.

I got the biggest pig they had.

You got a pig?

Like from a... like from a pet store? Like...

Dude, I didn't even know they sold those.

Like... Like maybe a guinea pig, but, like, a pig-pig?

That's crazy.

Yeah, I went to a butcher.

You know, this is your first event as president.

I wanna make sure everyone's impressed,

and I also wanna show your dad a good time too, you know?

As a kind of thank-you for everything he's done for me.

Giving me a job after graduation and all.

Dude, you don't need a big pig to impress my dad.

You're my best friend.

That's all he cares about.

He got a hotel room.

Look at you, you big slut.

You think so? I... I hope so.

You're gonna fuck Scott. Tonight.

I mean, I don't know.

We've only just kissed.

Well, get ready 'cause you're about to do a lot more.

What if he just meant like hanging out?

You know, he probably invited Blaise.

Well, that'd certainly be interesting because

I'm telling you hotel rooms mean fucking.

Okay, so this is it?

What do I do?

- Shave your legs. Watch some porn. - Caroline.

What? This is what you wanted.

Okay, what do I wear?

- Nothing. - Seriously, like, before that.

Okay, we'll go shopping. It'll be fine.

I know the perfect place.

Okay, well, I have class, but maybe this afternoon?

- Okay. - Do you think that'll give us enough time?

...and everybody got to sleep on Porthault sheets

because I landed the Carl girl.

That's a great story. It's true.

- She told me that last year... - Who is that?

...when we all went for dinner.

Apparently my mother is overly punctual this year.

It was right before the waiter spilled that bowl of bisque

all down my back, remember?

Hard to forget that scream.

I hope we're going somewhere with a nice gazpacho on the menu this year,

just in case... ...'cause, you know,

stain potential is greater, but it's definitely easier on the skin.

I'm so sorry, CeCe. I thought I told you.

Unfortunately, we have other plans this year.

Oh.

Oh.

That's, uh... That's...

Yeah, I should probably stay in just in case I throw up again.

I'm not bulimic.

Clearly.

Right.

I'll bring you a doggie bag.

Caroline.

I'd like to introduce you to Annie Grover,

one of our very favorite PNMs.

Oh, it's so nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Merteuil.

I'm so happy that you and your mother are joining us for dinner.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I completely forgot.

My mom wants to have dinner with Scott's family tonight.

Oh. Oh, Caroline didn't tell me.

I'm actually just finding out too.

Again, I'm-I'm so sorry.

It's just, once my mom sets her mind on a plan,

it's kind of hard to talk her out of it.

But thank you so much again for the invitation.

Um, and I'll see you later for the stuff?

Okay.

- You told me this was a done deal. - I'll handle it.

I cleared my schedule for this.

I'll get it done.

Cannot believe I drove all the way down here.

Girls, you have changed something down here.

Is it the crown molding?

How are you doing?

All right.

Hey, man. Keep it up. I'm totally feeling Hawaii.

Nice pig.

Aloha, Lucien.

So, I see you got Scott a new look.

Very presidential.

I guess if it worked for Abraham Lincoln then, uh...

I can't even pretend to know what you're talking about.

It's the new beard. I think I prefer him clean-shaven.

Abe? With that chin?

I get it.

Scott suddenly gets eyes for Annie Grover just before his very conservative,

very-likely-homophobic father comes into town to see his two best boys.

So, what's your timeline on it?

There's no timeline on true love.

Bullshit.

Maybe Scott really likes Annie.

And what's in it for you?

Nothing.

Maybe a very sought-after job in the congressman's office?

Oh, no. He, uh...

He already offered me the job.

Oh, offered you the job as in, "negotiate your salary" kind of way,

or a little pat on the back and,

"Any friend of my son has a place in my administration," kind of way?

Stay out of it.

I just want to make sure that

your Scott's girl Friday is over by Monday.

Or what, Lucien?

I guess we'll see, won't we?

Did you need instructions?

No.

Press the button.

I don't need instructions per se

because I did look it up, extensively even.

But I guess the thing I'm wondering is

how set in stone the whole "up to five days after" thing is.

- What? - It's been more than five days.

How many more days?

Five... teen.

Fiveteen? Wh-What is that?

Fifteen.

Okay.

- Give or take a week or three. - Right.

Well, that's gonna be more of a plan C situation.

And you'll need a positive pregnancy test for that.

I don't really think I'm pregnant.

So, why do you need to end a nonexistent pregnancy?

I was hoping. But it's a pipe dream.

I-I'm sorry. Did you want to be pregnant?

At least then it would be treatable.

Right now, I'm looking down the barrel of a worrying array of symptoms.

Yes, they may come and go, but that seems even worse.

Level with me here.

It could potentially be pretty serious, right?

Lady, I'm a pharmacist.

Useless.

- Oh. - Thank God you're here.

I was just calling you.

Okay, I have no idea what I'm doing.

Um, what about this one?

Whatever you think.

I just don't know what he would like, you know?

Like, I-I also picked out this one, but it might be too much.

Like maybe it's not me?

Mmm, it's fine.

It's just kind of nothing.

Um, are you okay?

Being a Delta Phi is more than just parties and lingerie, Annie.

It's a commitment.

It's about honor and loyalty.

Is this about dinner?

You know, this rush process is about getting to know one another.

Maybe we just have different values.

Was your mom really that mad?

This isn't about her.

I've been a good friend to you.

I've been there for you and supported you and...

I have to go.

I'm meeting my mother for high tea.

Good luck.

Ellen, you were saying?

Oh, I just wanted to thank Caroline.

- Annie said the nicest things. - Mom.

Oh, well, it's been so much fun getting to know her. Really.

Well, I'm glad she has you

and that she seems to be finding her footing.

Even if it has to be at Delta instead of Sigma.

Oh, but you know what they say?

It's Sigma for a night, Delta for life.

- I think it's the opposite. - I don't.

Well, if all Deltas are like yours, I suppose that it's all right.

Yes.

Yes, we are very proud of our Caroline and who she's become.

But she did used to call me crying every weekend...

...to come home.

Freshman year was really hard for me.

Yeah, it was like the baby bird needed to be pushed from the nest.

But now look at her. She's President of Delta Phi.

You must be proud of your son too.

Annie's told me all about Lucien.

Um, does anyone want some more tea?

My stepson, Lucien.

Yes, he's a... he's a very spirited young man.

Oh, yes.

You know, they say that blending families can be complicated,

but I have got to tell you, ours...

- ours is the exception, right? - Mmm. Mm-hmm.

- Mmm. That's so nice. - Mmm.

Thanks.

Here you are.

- Oh, Ellen, please. Let me. - Oh, nonsense. It's my treat.

Plus, we can't take gifts. You know how it is.

Fine. I'll let you get it this time.

It'll give us an excuse to get the families together in DC.

- Mmm. - Over the holidays perhaps?

We usually travel for the holidays, but this has been great.

It certainly has, as brief as it was.

If you'll excuse me.

Have you, um, tried the tea at Claridge's in London?

I think it's the best.

Caroline?

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

Um, your mom seems nice.

It's hard to imagine that she's the same woman with,

you know, the tennis coach stuff.

I have a confession to make.

Okay.

My mother is a master manipulator.

- She's a lobbyist. - And she's very good at what she does.

When she found out we were friends,

she convinced me to set this whole thing up.

She's been pushing for an in with your dad.

It's why she was so angry at the change of plans

and why she's been working you and your mother all afternoon.

I just wanted to apologize.

That's pretty fucked up.

I should have never put you in this position.

And I should have never used our friendship like this.

I should have just said no and suffered the consequences.

Well, thank you for telling me.

Well, I'm glad your mom said no.

I don't care how disappointed my mother is in me.

Our friendship is more important.

I just really hope you can forgive me.

- Oh! - Let's go, Dad. Nice shot.

I used to call that one the Arc of the Covenant.

You see that? The perfect spin.

Stunning, sir. What a shot.

Oh, thank you, Blaise.

Sailed right through.

Uh, it's kind of like when you brought HR 10-0-2 to the floor last year.

Right. You studied that one closely.

Congressman.

- Lucien! - Really good to see you again, sir.

- It's been way too long. - Please, son, call me John.

- Oh, if you insist, John. - I do. I do.

Hey, I was hoping I'd see you today.

I ran into your father on the back nine at the club the other day.

Ooh, had to suffer the slow play.

- Yeah, that guy always took forever. - Oh, he's a good man.

He tells me you're a senior this year, huh? A finance major.

Yes, he wanted me in finance, so here I am in finance.

But I gotta tell you, I've been flirting

with the idea of getting into politics instead.

Well, just say the word if you want to get serious.

I've always got a place for a friend of Scott's in my administration.

That's awfully kind of you, John.

I... I'll have to get back to you on that soon.

All right, Lucien.

You want a celebrity shot, or what?

- Hell yeah, buddy. - Come on. All right.

Okay.

- There ya go. - That was easy.

Well, this has been a real pleasure.

And, um, Annie, I'm so happy to finally have a face

to put to the name of all of Caroline's stories.

Thank you for taking such good care of my baby.

Of course.

Um, you know what I was thinking actually, Mom?

We should invite them to the Christmas tree lighting ceremony.

That way Dad can meet Caroline too.

And Claudia, of course. The whole family.

Oh, sure, hon.

That sounds fun.

Uh, we have a big dinner after.

I'll have one of the social secretaries set it up.

Oh, that sounds wonderful.

I'm sure my husband will absolutely love that.

Thank you.

Mine too.

Excuse me.

Lucien.

Oh, hi. You need another drink? Something a bit stronger, maybe?

I told you, I had nothing to do with Scott and Annie.

Whatever you're doing, back off.

- It isn't funny. - Really? Because it tickled me.

Leave the tickling to the perverts.

Love that documentary.

You will not steal this job from me, you understand that?

Relax, Blaise. I'm just having some fun.

I have an entire weekend to kill.

This is my fucking livelihood.

Wow.

You know, family really does bring out the worst in people.

I mean it.

Thought you loved Mussolini.

Hmm?

I do.

You all right?

What?

I miss your running commentary.

Really?

CeCe, are you sick?

Do I look sick?

I have been feeling kind of sick, but everyone says I'm fine.

No, you look good. I mean, fine. I mean...

You do look pale.

More pale than usual?

Have you eaten?

I was supposed to eat, but my best friend disinvited me from dinner.

Let me get you something to eat.

No, I'm sorry. I should go.

Because I know you're talking to me, but it's just sounding like, frankly,

echoes in the hallways of my brain right now.

Is that a song?

I'm sure it's not.

Okay.

Oh, shit.

I just don't know what to do about her.

And she skulks.

I wasn't suspicious until she started acting all suspicious.

She's so...

She's just so sneaky.

No, I suppose it's in their nature.

It suits you. The necklace.

I'm glad I gave it to you.

Thank you.

I love it.

What are you having?

Maybe the fish?

Gosh. Everything looks awful.

How do they prepare that?

With wine, hopefully.

- That looks good. What is that? - It's chicken.

- Oh, yeah, I can see how that's a chicken. - Do you want a bite?

Yes, I do.

Look at that.

Look at these two, huh? Sweet as pie.

- She is a gift from God. - Oh.

My husband and I certainly think so.

We know He works in mysterious ways.

So I'm a mystery to you?

Just the outfit.

I think you look really beautiful.

You see, that's all he's needed.

- Mm-hmm. - A good girl in his life

after all that bad business last year.

Oh, that was so awful.

How are you feeling, Scott?

Mmm. I feel really good. Yeah, why?

He's been great.

Well, thanks to you, Blaise.

Thanks for being such a good friend.

Keeping him on the straight and narrow.

Yes. Real straight and real narrow.

- Hmm. - Lucien!

Hey. Pull up a chair. Join us.

I would love to, but, unfortunately, I'm late for my own family affair.

Attaboy.

Remember what I said, just say the word if you want to get serious about politics.

You know, I-I thought about it and,

uh, I really should follow in the old man's footsteps.

So, finance, here I come.

But, uh, Blaise, here, he's the real politico of the house.

You should be sure to nail him down before your son does.

You know, when he becomes president.

I'm already president.

I meant of the country.

Fair enough.

Blaise, why don't you give my office a call on Monday?

We'll, uh, sort it all out.

You must be Mrs. Grover.

- I am. What a pleasure. - Annie's told me so much about you.

- Yes. Nice to meet you. - Pleasure to meet you too.

Sorry I'm late.

Good to see you. Well, uh,

someone smells nice. What is that?

Bal áVersailles and barely concealed rage.

Well, I'm glad I missed it.

Let's get you a drink, so the fun can begin.

- Oh, here. Share mine. - Very generous.

Oh, it's dry anyway.

I prefer mine filthy.

We should toast.

To what?

To a well-won dinner in DC with the vice president.

Which apparently would not have been possible without Lucien.

I hear Annie Grover's a fan.

Mmm. Fan, friend, Lucien will fuck anything.

Oh, Caroline, please.

Just sit still. Look pretty.

I might just get some drinks for the table.

What do you want?

I want what everyone wants.

Love. A trip to Disneyland. To be able to piss in peace.

Just tell me what the game is so we can deal.

There's no deal.

You wanted a job, you got the job.

Yeah, I didn't need your help.

I'm not gonna let you hold that over me.

So I take the job, you're angry. I get you the job, you're angry.

You see how that's a toxic cycle, right?

Just tell me why.

I'm a nice person.

You are not a nice person.

Let's just say I realized that you needed the job,

and so I decided to help a poor brother out.

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm frat treasurer. Things started to come together,

like how many reimbursement checks Scott was signing over to you.

I got a big pig.

I'm rich, so I don't really know what things cost,

but my gut's telling me that a big pig doesn't cost over three grand.

- What the fuck do you want? - Relax.

I've done a lot worse than embezzle money from people

that don't need it and won't miss it.

Hmm.

Do not fuck me, Lucien.

You're not my type, Blaise.

But, uh, nice try.

How's the patient?

A little bit better. Um, I was just thinking

about how FDR got us out of the Great Depression

and he was in a wheelchair.

Polio is not really a thing anymore.

And your legs seem good.

Really? Even in this weird gown?

It kind of hits at a weird...

My mom's having a colonic.

Okay.

You know, you don't have to stay. I'll be fine now. I have cookies.

Um, I'm sure you have better things to do.

What, like leftovers and dating apps?

No, that's okay. I can stay here.

So, if it's not polio, what do you think it is?

When did it start?

Now that I'm thinking of it, right after we left the bar the other night.

Are you feeling sick too?

- Do you think we were poisoned? - I don't think so.

I ate the mixed nuts on the bar before you got there.

I don't think it was the nuts.

What if something's really wrong with me?

I've never felt this way before.

I'm sorry, I just... I really don't know what's happening to me.

Hey, hey. It's okay. Just take a deep breath.

That's good.

Now breathe in.

Breathe out.

Yeah, I think that's breathing.

And now, breathe in.

Okay. So that's good.

Now how's that? You feel better?

No.

It's nice. Nice in here.

Yeah, it's beautiful.

Hotels, they really make you...

think sometimes.

Yeah, it really makes you feel adult, you know?

That monkey from Dunston Checks In has gotta be dead by now, right?

Oh, I don't... I don't think I've seen that one.

I heard somewhere that that monkey hated bare feet, which is like...

like, did somebody kick him or...

Maybe you should be a vet.

Yeah. Yeah, I just... I don't really like war.

Right.

Right.

Uh, do you want a drink?

- Yeah. - Okay.

Sorry, I'm kind of nervous.

No, me-me too.

- That's for you. - Thanks.

Um, well, cheers to Dunston.

Yeah, his-his real name was Sam.

Okay, then, uh, cheers to Sam.

Cheers to Sam.

Uh, Annie, I, uh...

I really like you.

I really like you too.

No, I...

I, like, I really like you.

Like, more than just the shape of your mouth.

You know,

I like your whole thing.

I like your whole thing too.

I... Uh...

Uh, no, I'm sorry, I just...

No, no. I'm-I'm... I'm good.

I've been working on your father, but you're gonna have to do your part.

You know, spend some quality family time.

I don't think he wants that.

Mmm.

He just wants to know that you're motivated

to be the kind of man that we both know you are.

Well, I can be any kind of man that you want.

It's one of the things I like most about you.

Just love quality family time.

Caroline, I'm just trying to help your brother get his car back.

Mmm.

Give me till we get back from Gstaad.

I think you overestimate your power.

Oh, trust me. I've got my ways.

How can I ever thank you?

You've earned it.

I did it. I did it.

I did it all.

I'm the one who got you exactly what you wanted.

I orchestrated this entire thing for you.

You wanted someone better than Rourke.

You wanted an inside track, so I got you Annie Grover.

Why do you think Lucien's even bothering with her?

Because I told him to.

I got you your fucking tea,

and when her mother didn't want anything to do with you,

I got you your dinner.

You couldn't even get a meeting with the vice president.

I got you in. I got you the vice president's ear.

I did it. I got you everything!

You got me the wife.

She always makes everything about her.

You know, last I checked, you were just the wife.

I like this little...

...strappy thing you got going on.

Oh, thank you.

Um, I have to tell you something though.

I-I've never done this before.

What, like, in a hotel room or...

Anywhere.

Oh.

I haven't done it anywhere either, so...

Okay.

I just... I want... I want everything to be good for you, Annie.

Oh, it is.

So...

- Everything okay? - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

Scott?

- Yeah, it's getting... It's nothing. - What's...

- What's wrong? Did I... - It's just...

- Nothing. Nothing. - Did I do something?

I just gotta go. I gotta... I gotta go.

♪ You can bend me Shake me anyway you wanna ♪

♪ Make me over ♪

Home sweet home.

You sure you're gonna be okay?

Yeah.

Thank you so much for this. You should go. You have an early class.

Yeah, I really don't think you should be all by yourself.

The house is full of sisters.

They're my best friends, so you don't need to worry.

Well, I know I don't have to, but I'm gonna.

I think you're the nicest person I've ever met.

I'm not that nice.

Anyway, I'm sure the blood tests are gonna come back fine.

You should try not to stress about it.

I'm not stressed. I've been stressed my whole life.

I actually do really well with stress. This isn't stress.

Well, whatever it is, we'll figure it out.

Right, thanks.

No, no, no, no, keep it. It's fine.

Okay.

How are you?

I have a lot to do, Lucien.

Dinner was interesting.

It was exactly what I thought it would be.

- You don't have to do this, you know? - I have a lot to do, Lucien.

Between rush and formal, please, so if you'll excuse me.

- Your mother's a cunt. - Yeah, I know.

You don't have to tell me that.

No, Caroline. Your mother is a fucking cunt.

It's okay.

It's okay.

You haven't won yet.

Okay then.

Game on.

- Thought you were with Annie. - Leave me alone.

- Scott, what's going on? - Stay the fuck away from me.

You realize you're sitting in the dark, right?

It's what people do when they're having a crisis, Lucien.

- It's cinematic. - Okay then.

Well, I'll let you enjoy.

I'm worried about my health.

I'd love to tell you my condition has improved,

but it's actually declining, insofar as I can now add fainting

in Professor Chadwick's office to a long list of symptoms.

We were in the infirmary all evening.

They ran a battery of tests, useless, all of them, by the way.

And the doctor seems to think it's stress related.

But like I told Professor Chadwick, I'm great under stress.

- I thrive under stress. I revel in stress. - Do you need me for this, or can I...

What I don't understand is why I'm suddenly falling apart

like a used car in it's a hundred-thousandth mile.

I don't even know what I would have done

if Professor Chadwick hadn't stayed with me the whole time

and taught me how to breathe and fed me cookies.

So, the history professor fed you cookies?

He drove me home and told me we'd figure out what's wrong with me.

And I'd like to believe him. I really would.

He's the smartest person I know.

You know, talking about this is actually making me feel kind of sick again.

I know people think I'm being hyperbolic when I say this,

but I really am thinking I could die tonight.

I'll probably be fine though.

I'll just sit here.

Okay then.

Well, I'll let you sit here and, uh, be in love with your professor.

But, Lucien, I'm ill.

No. No, that...

No, that's... Absolutely not. No!

What do you know about love anyways?

And no. No.

Absolutely not. No, no.

If it isn't the next first Mrs. Russell.

What's wrong? You okay?

I'm not talking to you about this.

What's happened?

I'm going to talk to Caroline.

I don't think that's a really good idea. She's having a bit of a rough night.

You can talk to me though.

I think that's a terrible idea for all involved.

Well, how about I walk with you?

No talking.

Not a word.

♪ Every me and every you ♪

♪ Every me and every you ♪

♪ Every me ♪

♪ Sucker love is known to swing ♪

♪ Prone to cling and waste these things ♪

♪ Pucker up for heaven's sake ♪

♪ There's never been so much at stake ♪

You like that?

- How bad do you want it? - Fuck me, Lucien! That's good.

Oh, fuck me.

Oh, my God.

Oh, what are you doing to me?

♪ Every me ♪

♪ Every me and every you ♪

♪ Every me ♪

Next on Cruel Intentions.

Happy Birthday.

The theme is "Paradise Lost."

I really hope everything goes smoothly tonight.

This party is gonna blow your mind.

I look forward to being blown.

I just needed a signature real quick 'cause I'm out a lot of money.

Cover it yourself.

I'll get to it when I get to it, okay?

He's a man, CeCe.

And men, beyond all reason, and above all else, want one thing.

To fuck.

Lucien Belmont, the boy who cares for nothing.

Well, maybe I care about you.

You don't have the upper hand anymore, Caroline.

I'm done playing by your rules.

You are the stuff nightmares are made of.