Original subtitles

(tense dramatic music)

- Okay, Venus? - Okay, Steve.

- Right, let's go.

(bikes whirring) (tense dramatic music)

(explosion booming) (spacecraft whirring)

(uptempo dramatic music)

(tense mysterious music)

(Ultrascope whirring)

(tense dramatic music)

- Everything a-okay, Dr. Stamp.

Ultrascope fully extended.

- Good, Professor, now I'll activate the screen.

(uptempo dramatic music)

(screen buzzing)

- Whoa, wonderful size.

- The most powerful Ultrascope in the universe.

- I'd better switch on the remote TV cameras (chuckles).

Just think of it, Professor Matic and Dr. Stamp,

stars of the interplanetary television network.

- Well, frankly | deplore television.

- (chuckles) You're camerashy, that's all.

(button flicking) (machine whirring)

- Through the medium of the Univision link, ETV,

Earth Television will be bringing you

the most historic moment in the century of television.

As you know, this is universal astronomic year 2062,

a year for which there's been endless preparations

by scientists throughout the entire universe.

Every member planet

of the Neutral Planet Scientific Organisation

has contributed to this year of discovery.

Planets hitherto uncharted and unknown

to the people of our universe will be revealed

in all their magnificence and splendour

by the miracle of the new Ultrascope.

(Zoonie snoring)

This latest space probe can tell--

- Really, you lazy lazoon,

this is no time to go to sleep.

- Television always send him to sleep,

and in the case of a good many programmes these days,

| can't say | blame him.

- | don't agree at all, Steve.

| think the programmes are of an amazingly high standard.

- You can't be serious, Venus.

All these canned programmes from Mars.

- Just because you only enjoy endless telecasts

of interplanetary ballgames--

- Ah, quit arguing, you two.

We're going over to the observatory any second.

- And now for the moment we've all been waiting for.

Over to the IAC Space Observatory,

and the man in charge of the whole programme,

Professor Matthew Matic.

- Suffering space cats, not a breakdown.

- No, no.

Look, Commander, Steve, the picture, it's coming through.

- Howdy, folks!

- Hush, Zoonie.

- This is (stammers) Professor Matic

in the Interplanetary Astronomers Committee

(stammers) Space Observatory number one.

With me is Dr. Stamp,

the well-known expert for the equipment

in this observatory.

The important thing to watch,

as far as the viewers are concerned,

is this screen.

It is on this that we shall all see the first pictures

that the powerful, new Ultrascope picks up (clears throat).

That's all, and now to business.

All a-okay, Dr. Stamp?

- All a-okay, professor.

- | think Matic is very telegenic, don't you, Steve?

- He'll be topping the bill

on the Saturn and Sunday Night Spectacular after this.

- Quiet please, colonel.

- Hey look, Stamp, something's coming through.

It can't be!

- It is!

- The perfect planet, Newtopia.

- Never been seen before by eyes from our universe.

- Let's take a closer look, can we?

- Of course.

The Ultrascope still has plenty of power in reserve.

(Ultrascope whirring)

(machine beeping)

- And (stammers) there you see, my friends,

the first view of what is reputed to be

the most beautiful planet in any universe.

Newtopia.

- This is wonderful.

- It sure looks good.

- Yeah, too good to be true.

(tense dramatic music)

(alarm ringing)

- The alarm.

Who dares to look upon the perfect planet of Newtopia?

- Turn on the Ultrascope, Perfectos.

Whoever it is, they must be destroyed.

(tense dramatic music)

(machine beeping)

- Look, an Ultrascope

scanning the sky like our own.

(tense dramatic music)

(desk whirring)

- Earth men? - Spying on us

from a space sphere.

- They must not be allowed to return to Earth

to divulge their secret.

- Newtopia and its secrets must remain unknown

to the rest of the universes.

- Project protector ray.

(tense ominous music)

(ray whirring)

(tense ominous music)

(both groaning)

- Venus, Commander, come on.

Something's gone wrong up there.

- Okay, let's go.

Come on, Venus.

- We regret that we've temporarily lost touch

with the Space Observatory

due to circumstances beyond our control.

We hope to resume our programme soon.

Meanwhile, we'll show you a short film.

(indigenous Americans chanting)

(gunshots firing) (tense traditional music)

- Maybe it was just a breakdown in the TV link, Steve.

- That was no ordinary breakdown.

Matt and Dr. Stamp are in trouble.

We've gotta get up there, and help them but fast.

Hold tight, Commander - Take it easy, Steve,

or we won't ever get as far as Space City.

(tense dramatic music)

- The Earth spies.

They are quite senseless.

- Do we leave them there or bring them back?

- Bring them back, and destroy them,

and with them, any knowledge of Newtopia.

Activate the travel transmitter.

(switch flicking) (transmitter whirring)

(alarm ringing)

- All systems go, go, go.

- All checks here are go.

- Take it easy, Steve.

(explosion booming)

(spacecraft whirring)

(tense dramatic music)

- You have set the controls for a return journey?

- A return journey for four.

(transmitter whirring)

- [Perfectos] Very convenient,

being able to travel through space

without being seen.

- [Alien] No doubt the Earth people

will try to effect a rescue, but by the time they arrive,

we shall be back on Newtopia with our prisoners.

- [Perfectos] No one who looks upon Newtopia

must ever be allowed to survive.

- [Alien] So this is the Earth spy machine.

- [Perfectos] Mm-hmm, very primitive.

- [Alien] But a menace to our perfect privacy nevertheless.

- [Perfectos] The inside isn't much either.

- Very primitive.

Quite a smooth journey. - Very.

Now for the return trip

with the Earth men (chuckles).

(spacecraft whirring)

- How are you making out with that course, Venus?

- According to my calculations,

| think you should hold course 1860-Red.

- Robert, course 1860-Red.

- [Robert] Course 1860-Red.

- If only we could go faster.

(tense dramatic music)

(transmitter whirring)

(tense dramatic music)

(uptempo dramatic music) (spacecraft whirring)

Well done, Venus.

| guess Matic couldn't have navigated better.

- Thanks a lot, Steve.

(spacecraft whirring)

- Parking in free float.

We leave Robert on board while you and |

take a look around, Venus. (tense dramatic music)

- When shall we put the Earth intruders in the destructor?

- All in good time, Perfectos.

Let us observe them first.

We gain valuable information for the future

from these specimens.

(desk whirring)

It's a long time since we had such interesting specimens

to observe. (Perfectos chuckling)

- Like a couple of helpless space fish.

Let's switch on the audio, and listen in for a moment.

- Now don't worry, Stamp.

Steve'll be on his way soon.

I'm sure.

- | admire your optimism.

- As soon as we went off the air,

Steve would have been on his way to the Space Observatory

to investigate.

- Most interesting.

- Sounds as though we may have another specimen

to pick up soon.

- But professor, what chance is Steve Zodiac

against beings with such advanced knowledge

as these Newtopians?

- (stammers) | don't know,

but Steve has got us out of worst jams than this before.

- This time, | think Zodiac has met his match.

(tense dramatic music)

(door whirring)

- Stick close and take it easy, Venus.

We don't know what's going on inside that space observatory.

- Okay, Steve. (tense dramatic music)

- No sign of anyone or anything.

Let's take a look inside.

(tense ominous music)

- Steve's walking right into a trap.

- Shall | transmit the stunner ray?

- No, let us toy with them a little first.

- They've just disappeared into outer space.

- No, not disappeared.

Not yet, Steve Zodiac.

Your fellow Earth creatures are quite safe so far.

- And who, may | ask, are you?

- | am Privator,

guardian of Newtopia.

- What do you want with us?

- That you will see, Steve Zodiac.

- Look over there,

a tube.

- Like a sort of travel transmitter.

So that's how they got us here.

(transmitter whirring) (tense dramatic music)

- There, you see, Zodiac, are two specimens.

| look forward to your joining them very soon.

- What harm have they done you?

What harm have any of us done you?

- You have dared to look upon the forbidden planet,

our planet, Newtopia.

It holds many secrets,

secrets that we have guarded for many light years.

Ours is a perfect planet,

and we must guard our perfection.

- Quick, Venus. (Privator murmuring)

Make a break for Fireball.

Get a message to Commander Zero.

I'll Keep him talking on this thing.

It'll be a long time before any Newtopians can get here.

But you don't understand, Earth is a friendly planet.

- It would not be friendly for long

if you Earth people discovered our secret.

The secret of eternal life.

You would want to share it with us.

- [Perfectos] You shouldn't come any further, Earth woman.

(tense dramatic music)

(transmitter whirring)

- Now how do we get out of here, professor?

- Welcome to Newtopia, Colonel Zodiac

and if | may say so, to your beautiful Earth woman.

Colonel Zodiac can go in the tank

with the other Earth specimens.

- And the Earth woman?

- | have other plans for her.

- You lay a finger on her and I'll--

- You'll do what?

| don't think you are in a position

to do anything, Colonel Zodiac.

- Don't worry, we will treat her

with the utmost respect.

(tense dramatic music)

- One false move from Zodiac,

and we can destroy the Earth woman

in the destructor just like that.

- But you wouldn't.

- Oh but of course.

She's only a woman.

Don't say you're actually attracted to her.

- No, of course not.

- Never forget, Perfectos,

that it was the Newtopian women

that nearly destroyed our planet.

That is why we had to rid ourselves

of all females of the species.

So that we could take advantage of the privilege

of eternal life on a perfect planet.

- You have no need to remind me.

- | hope not.

| shall go to get some rest now.

You keep watch.

I'll relieve you in a few hours.

(tense dramatic music)

(tense ominous music)

- Any word from Zodiac yet?

- None, sir.

- You and | are gonna take a look

at that space observatory, Lieutenant.

- Yes sir.

(tense dramatic music)

(door unlatching)

(door latching)

- [Perfectos] Earth woman, Earth woman.

- Oh.

- Do not be afraid, Earth woman.

| only want to help you.

- Help me?

- Yes, help you.

| will arrange for your Earth men to escape if--

- If what?

- If you will stay here as my eternal companion.

- Never.

- Think again, Earth woman.

If you refuse, you will be destroyed

together with your friends,

Professor Matic,

Dr. Stamp,

and Steve Zodiac.

- It seems | do not have much choice.

- No choice at all.

This is your last chance.

Do you agree?

(Perfectos chuckling)

I'm so glad.

(tense dramatic music)

(door unlatching)

- [Privator] Earth woman, Earth woman.

- Ooh.

- Do not be afraid, Earth woman.

| want only to help you.

- Help me?

- Yes, help you.

| will arrange for your Earth men to escape if--

- If what?

- If you will stay here as my eternal companion.

- Never!

- Think again, Earth woman.

If you refuse, you will be destroyed

together with your friends, Professor Matic,

Dr. Stamp, and Steve Zodiac.

- It seems | do not have much choice.

(door unlatching) (tense dramatic music)

- The Earth woman is mine!

- Yours? - Yes, mine.

She agreed.

- You know what this means, don't you?

- Yes,

a duel.

- The first duel on Newtopia for a 1,000 years,

and all because of an Earth woman.

(explosion booming)

- Hold tight, lieutenant. (spaceship whirring)

(uptempo dramatic music)

- Remember, no tricks.

The Earth woman is still in the destructor.

One false move and the automatic setting will destroy her.

- This may be an affair of Newtopian honour,

but we will destroy her if any of you try anything.

- Choose your weapons, gentlemen.

- Well, | think this is the oddest situation

I've ever been in.

- | feel I'm about to wake up any moment.

- When | drop my hand, | want you to take 25 paces,

turn, and fire.

(uptempo snare music)

(tense dramatic music)

(gunshots booming)

(both thudding)

Come on, we haven't much time.

- They're both dead.

- Only stunned, professor.

You see, | substituted the stunning capsules

for the death cartridges, look.

They'll be coming round soon, so let's go.

(spaceship whirring)

- Look!

The Space Observatory, and Fireball.

- The dial should be set to get us back to the observatory.

- Here goes.

(transmitter whirring)

- No sign of them.

If only this robot could talk.

- [Robert] Longing in memory load,

longing in memory load.

- [Matthew] | wonder whether | should have switched off

the dials on that machine before we left.

- [Steve] It's too late now, Matt.

- If only we knew where Steve was heading.

(transmitter whirring)

What the?

- Jumping space cats!

- Instant travel through the courtesy

of the Newtopian travel machine.

There, you see, we've still got a picture of it.

- Sure wish | had time to figure out the principle of it.

Hey, say Steve, there's smoke coming

from the base of the travel machine.

Wonder whether | should have switched off those dials.

(transmitter whirring)

- The Earth people have escaped.

- They must have used the travel machine.

- Quickly, Privator, they haven't switched off the dials!

(transmitter buzzing)

(transmitter thudding)

(explosion booming)

- [Matthew] As | thought,

| should have switched off those dials.

(uptempo whimsical music)

("I Wish | Was a Spaceman" by Barry Grey)

~ 1 wish | was a space man J

~ The fastest guy alive

f I'd fly you around the universe f

f In Fireball XL5 I

~ Way out in space together J

~ Conquerors of the sky

~ My heart could be a fireball, a fireball S

f Every time | gazed into your starry eyes f

¢ We'd take a path to Jupiter

~ And maybe very soon J

¢ We'd cruise along the Milky Way ¢

¢ And land upon the moon J

¢ To a wonderland of stardust J

f We'll zoom away to Mars S

My heart would be a fireball, a fireball S

~'Cause you would be my Venus of the stars