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1
00:00:10,062 --> 00:00:11,897
Alright, Mom,
2
00:00:12,022 --> 00:00:14,167
I'm all done wrapping Dad's
anniversary present for you.
3
00:00:14,191 --> 00:00:15,376
Oh, is it someone's
anniversary soon?
4
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:16,276
Oh, you.
5
00:00:16,401 --> 00:00:17,694
Just kidding.
6
00:00:17,819 --> 00:00:19,029
Ooh, I wonder
what it is.
7
00:00:19,154 --> 00:00:20,238
It's a--
8
00:00:20,363 --> 00:00:21,698
Oh, shucks,
I can't tell you.
9
00:00:21,823 --> 00:00:23,408
But it's really nifty.
10
00:00:23,533 --> 00:00:25,428
Well, it looks like we're
gonna have to do something
11
00:00:25,452 --> 00:00:27,638
extra special for Mommy and
Daddy's anniversary this year.
12
00:00:27,662 --> 00:00:28,872
How about on Saturday
13
00:00:28,997 --> 00:00:30,957
we all go have dinner
at Bennigan's?
14
00:00:31,083 --> 00:00:32,876
Bennigan's?
Oh, boy, you mean it?
15
00:00:33,001 --> 00:00:35,003
Whoopee!
16
00:00:35,128 --> 00:00:37,148
At Bennigan's I'm gonna get
the Ranch Hand Baby Back Ribs.
17
00:00:37,172 --> 00:00:38,172
Calm down there, cowboy.
18
00:00:38,215 --> 00:00:39,255
You've still got
four days.
19
00:00:39,299 --> 00:00:40,801
Four days?
20
00:00:40,926 --> 00:00:42,844
Oh, I don't know how
I'm gonna wait that long.
21
00:00:42,969 --> 00:00:46,223
[singing] Who's the boy that
can laugh at a storm cloud?
22
00:00:46,348 --> 00:00:49,059
Turn a frown
into a smile for free?
23
00:00:49,184 --> 00:00:51,728
Who's the kid with
the heart full of magic?
24
00:00:51,853 --> 00:00:53,522
Everyone knows
it's Butters!
25
00:00:53,647 --> 00:00:55,190
Well, that's me!
26
00:00:55,315 --> 00:00:57,651
[singing] Who's the boy
with eyes full of wonder?
27
00:00:57,776 --> 00:01:00,779
Who thinks being yourself
is the best thing to be?
28
00:01:00,904 --> 00:01:03,573
Who's that rascal with
the tweezers in his pocket?
29
00:01:03,698 --> 00:01:05,367
Everyone knows
it's Butters!
30
00:01:05,492 --> 00:01:06,993
Well, that's me!
31
00:01:07,119 --> 00:01:09,371
[singing] Jumping in puddles,
skipping down the hallway
32
00:01:09,496 --> 00:01:10,723
petting goats
at the petting zoo
33
00:01:10,747 --> 00:01:12,332
he loves John All-way
- Elway.
34
00:01:12,457 --> 00:01:15,544
[singing] Who's that tyke with
the cutest little dimples?
35
00:01:15,669 --> 00:01:17,921
Batting his eyes
at every puppy he sees?
36
00:01:18,046 --> 00:01:20,006
If you look inside yourself
you might be surprised
37
00:01:20,132 --> 00:01:22,592
when you find
a little boy named
38
00:01:22,717 --> 00:01:23,844
Butters!
39
00:01:23,969 --> 00:01:26,596
Well, that's--
that's me, yeah.
40
00:01:26,721 --> 00:01:28,974
Three more days
'til we eat at Bennigan's.
41
00:01:29,099 --> 00:01:31,977
That's 72 hours.
Oh, gee whiz.
42
00:01:32,102 --> 00:01:33,395
Well, if you two
will excuse me,
43
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,248
I need to go out and buy
a certain special lady
44
00:01:35,272 --> 00:01:36,439
her anniversary present.
45
00:01:36,565 --> 00:01:37,691
I hope he means me.
46
00:01:37,816 --> 00:01:38,692
Don't be silly, Mom,
47
00:01:38,817 --> 00:01:40,485
of course
he means you.
48
00:01:40,610 --> 00:01:41,903
I'll be back
in a little bit.
49
00:01:42,028 --> 00:01:43,339
Butters, you're in charge
of the house.
50
00:01:43,363 --> 00:01:45,115
Yes, sir!
51
00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:46,968
Oh, I wonder what
he's gonna get me this year.
52
00:01:46,992 --> 00:01:48,512
We won't know
till we're at Bennigan's.
53
00:01:48,577 --> 00:01:49,619
Every year
it's the same.
54
00:01:49,744 --> 00:01:50,888
Your father gets me
some great gift
55
00:01:50,912 --> 00:01:52,581
and my gift to him
falls short.
56
00:01:52,706 --> 00:01:54,166
I've just got to
outdo him this year.
57
00:01:54,291 --> 00:01:55,375
I've just got to!
58
00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:56,835
Dad's a good shopper,
alright.
59
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,254
Butters, maybe you could
secretly follow your dad
60
00:01:59,379 --> 00:02:00,505
and see what
he's getting me.
61
00:02:00,630 --> 00:02:02,132
You mean spy on him?
62
00:02:02,257 --> 00:02:03,925
But ain't that kind of
like fibbin'?
63
00:02:04,050 --> 00:02:05,510
No, it's a little
different.
64
00:02:05,635 --> 00:02:07,929
You remember when the nice
policeman gave you a badge
65
00:02:08,054 --> 00:02:09,323
and made you
an Honorary Inspector?
66
00:02:09,347 --> 00:02:10,849
Sure, I do.
67
00:02:10,974 --> 00:02:12,618
Why, I think Inspector
Butters could find out
68
00:02:12,642 --> 00:02:14,537
what daddy's getting mommy
without him ever knowing.
69
00:02:14,561 --> 00:02:16,188
What do you say?
70
00:02:16,313 --> 00:02:17,981
Inspector Butters
is on the case, ma'am.
71
00:02:18,106 --> 00:02:19,608
[singing] Everyone knows
it's Butters!
72
00:02:19,733 --> 00:02:21,276
Well, that's me!
73
00:02:26,990 --> 00:02:31,870
[ominous piano music]
74
00:02:40,754 --> 00:02:42,422
Hmm, Dad's going
to see a movie.
75
00:02:42,547 --> 00:02:45,342
How nice.
76
00:02:45,467 --> 00:02:48,845
[doorbell rings]
77
00:02:50,931 --> 00:02:53,225
"White Swallow
Bath House."
78
00:02:53,350 --> 00:02:54,827
[singing] Everyone knows
it's Butters!
79
00:02:54,851 --> 00:02:56,853
Well, that's me!
80
00:02:58,563 --> 00:02:59,439
I'm back, Ma.
81
00:02:59,564 --> 00:03:00,899
Oh, hi, sweetie.
82
00:03:01,024 --> 00:03:02,210
Did you get to follow
your dad around?
83
00:03:02,234 --> 00:03:03,235
I sure did.
84
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:04,903
Dad sure had
a nice night out.
85
00:03:05,028 --> 00:03:07,006
Well, did you see what he
got me for our anniversary?
86
00:03:07,030 --> 00:03:08,531
Well, first he went
to see a movie.
87
00:03:08,657 --> 00:03:10,325
A movie?
Huh.
88
00:03:10,450 --> 00:03:12,577
I wonder why he'd want to
see a movie by himself.
89
00:03:12,702 --> 00:03:14,680
I don't know, but it wasn't at
the movie theater at the mall.
90
00:03:14,704 --> 00:03:16,331
It was that really old
theater downtown,
91
00:03:16,456 --> 00:03:18,500
The Studcat.
92
00:03:18,625 --> 00:03:19,825
I didn't even know
it was open.
93
00:03:19,918 --> 00:03:22,003
Wait a minute.
What was the movie called?
94
00:03:22,128 --> 00:03:23,588
"Fisting Firemen 9."
95
00:03:23,713 --> 00:03:24,941
I've never seen
one through eight.
96
00:03:24,965 --> 00:03:26,383
Oh, my God.
97
00:03:26,508 --> 00:03:28,260
It must've been
a real short movie, though,
98
00:03:28,385 --> 00:03:30,595
because Dad came out, like,
10 minutes later.
99
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,180
It must've been
a sad film, too,
100
00:03:32,305 --> 00:03:34,033
because he had a bunch of
tissue paper with him
101
00:03:34,057 --> 00:03:35,225
when he came out.
102
00:03:35,350 --> 00:03:37,185
Poor ol' dad.
Movie really got to him.
103
00:03:37,310 --> 00:03:39,521
Butters, where did Daddy
go after the movie?
104
00:03:39,646 --> 00:03:40,522
To the gym.
105
00:03:40,647 --> 00:03:41,815
To the gym?
106
00:03:41,940 --> 00:03:42,774
Yeah,
the White Swallow Spa.
107
00:03:42,899 --> 00:03:43,984
Ah!
108
00:03:44,109 --> 00:03:45,549
Yup, he went in there
and he wrestled
109
00:03:45,652 --> 00:03:46,528
with all kind of guys.
110
00:03:46,653 --> 00:03:47,821
He wasn't too good, though.
111
00:03:47,946 --> 00:03:49,090
This one black guy
had him pinned down
112
00:03:49,114 --> 00:03:51,116
for 15 minutes straight.
113
00:03:51,241 --> 00:03:52,784
Butters,
are you sure about this?
114
00:03:52,909 --> 00:03:54,619
You have to be
absolutely sure.
115
00:03:54,744 --> 00:03:56,288
Inspector Butters
gets all the facts.
116
00:03:56,413 --> 00:03:57,956
I even got some
neat-o pictures.
117
00:04:03,878 --> 00:04:05,380
The only thing
I can't figure out
118
00:04:05,505 --> 00:04:07,441
is why dad told you he was going
shopping for your present
119
00:04:07,465 --> 00:04:09,884
when he was going out
seeing movies and wrestling?
120
00:04:10,010 --> 00:04:11,636
Oh, did you have
a nice trip, Ma?
121
00:04:11,761 --> 00:04:13,763
See you next fall.
[laughs]
122
00:04:13,888 --> 00:04:15,181
Mom?
123
00:04:15,307 --> 00:04:17,183
[singing] Butters!
- Well, that's me!
124
00:04:20,687 --> 00:04:22,564
Paint...
Must paint...
125
00:04:22,689 --> 00:04:24,232
Everything clean...
126
00:04:24,357 --> 00:04:25,942
Paint...
127
00:04:26,067 --> 00:04:28,486
Well, honey, you've painted
the entire house
128
00:04:28,611 --> 00:04:29,863
three times.
129
00:04:29,988 --> 00:04:31,031
Must paint.
130
00:04:31,156 --> 00:04:34,034
Everything clean.
Everything new.
131
00:04:34,159 --> 00:04:36,036
Say, Butters,
I'm having real trouble
132
00:04:36,161 --> 00:04:37,746
finding an anniversary
present for mom.
133
00:04:37,871 --> 00:04:38,871
Any ideas?
134
00:04:38,913 --> 00:04:40,540
Hmm, I can't think of one.
135
00:04:40,665 --> 00:04:42,310
Well, then, it looks like
I'm gonna have to
136
00:04:42,334 --> 00:04:43,543
go out shopping again.
137
00:04:43,668 --> 00:04:45,211
Ah!
Paint.
138
00:04:45,337 --> 00:04:47,172
Everything clean,
everything new.
139
00:04:47,297 --> 00:04:48,423
Paint.
140
00:04:48,548 --> 00:04:52,510
I'll be back
in a little while.
141
00:04:52,635 --> 00:04:54,363
Should I go try and see
what he gets you again, Mom?
142
00:04:54,387 --> 00:04:56,222
I don't think
Daddy's shopping.
143
00:04:56,348 --> 00:04:58,725
I think Daddy's going out
wrestling again.
144
00:04:58,850 --> 00:05:01,519
Paint.
Paint.
145
00:05:01,644 --> 00:05:03,146
Must be made clean.
146
00:05:03,271 --> 00:05:04,105
New.
147
00:05:04,230 --> 00:05:05,774
Hey, a new paintbrush.
148
00:05:05,899 --> 00:05:07,585
That's what Dad could get
Mom for their anniversary.
149
00:05:07,609 --> 00:05:08,735
I gotta go tell him.
150
00:05:08,860 --> 00:05:10,653
Must clean Butters.
151
00:05:10,779 --> 00:05:11,654
Clean.
152
00:05:11,780 --> 00:05:14,115
Never be clean.
153
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,826
Must... kill?
154
00:05:16,951 --> 00:05:18,787
The only way...
155
00:05:18,912 --> 00:05:21,414
Must kill Butters.
156
00:05:21,539 --> 00:05:22,832
Paint.
157
00:05:22,957 --> 00:05:25,001
[singing] Butters!
- Well, that's me!
158
00:05:26,628 --> 00:05:29,381
[doorbell rings]
159
00:05:29,506 --> 00:05:30,548
One, please.
160
00:05:30,673 --> 00:05:31,758
Locker 213.
161
00:05:31,883 --> 00:05:34,260
Thanks.
162
00:05:34,386 --> 00:05:38,723
[singing]
That's what takes me high
163
00:05:38,848 --> 00:05:41,768
Dad?
Dad, you in here?
164
00:05:45,188 --> 00:05:47,524
Hello, anybody in here?
165
00:05:47,649 --> 00:05:49,275
There, do you think
that works?
166
00:05:49,401 --> 00:05:50,795
Well, that's four fingers.
Try five.
167
00:05:50,819 --> 00:05:52,320
Mr. Garrison?
168
00:05:52,445 --> 00:05:53,445
Who is that?
169
00:05:56,116 --> 00:05:57,242
Dad?
170
00:05:57,367 --> 00:05:58,660
Dad!
171
00:05:58,785 --> 00:06:00,161
Are you wrestling in here?
172
00:06:00,286 --> 00:06:01,162
Dad?
173
00:06:01,287 --> 00:06:02,789
This room's taken.
174
00:06:02,914 --> 00:06:06,126
Oh, pardon me, sirs.
175
00:06:06,251 --> 00:06:07,419
Dad?
176
00:06:07,544 --> 00:06:09,129
No.
177
00:06:09,254 --> 00:06:10,755
Hmm.
178
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,799
Ah, Butters!
179
00:06:12,924 --> 00:06:14,175
Hi, Dad!
180
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:15,677
Oh, God.
181
00:06:15,802 --> 00:06:17,554
I'm glad I found ya.
182
00:06:17,679 --> 00:06:19,490
I think I know the perfect
anniversary present for Mom.
183
00:06:19,514 --> 00:06:21,492
What are you doing with
your wiener out there, Dad?
184
00:06:21,516 --> 00:06:23,476
Butters, you need
to leave here right now.
185
00:06:23,601 --> 00:06:25,186
You need
to get out of here.
186
00:06:25,311 --> 00:06:27,439
Go home and wait for me
to talk to you.
187
00:06:27,564 --> 00:06:28,940
Oh, alright then.
188
00:06:29,065 --> 00:06:31,568
We'll see you at home.
189
00:06:31,693 --> 00:06:33,570
Oh, Jesus, no.
190
00:06:33,695 --> 00:06:34,863
Oh, what have I done?
191
00:06:36,448 --> 00:06:37,550
[singing] Everyone knows
it's Butters!
192
00:06:37,574 --> 00:06:38,909
Well, that's me!
193
00:06:39,034 --> 00:06:41,119
Butters.
Oh, Butters.
194
00:06:41,244 --> 00:06:43,413
Could you come see me
in my study real quick?
195
00:06:43,538 --> 00:06:44,873
Hey, Dad.
196
00:06:44,998 --> 00:06:46,559
Come here, Son.
I want to have a talk with you.
197
00:06:46,583 --> 00:06:47,792
Well, sure thing, Dad.
198
00:06:47,918 --> 00:06:50,462
Son, I want to talk to you
about lying.
199
00:06:50,587 --> 00:06:53,548
Oh, I know lying's bad, Dad.
You told me so.
200
00:06:53,673 --> 00:06:55,467
Yes, it sure can be.
201
00:06:55,592 --> 00:06:57,219
But there are also times
202
00:06:57,344 --> 00:07:00,472
when distorting the truth
a little is appropriate.
203
00:07:00,597 --> 00:07:02,724
These are called
"little white lies."
204
00:07:02,849 --> 00:07:04,392
Little white lies?
205
00:07:04,517 --> 00:07:06,686
You see, sometimes telling
a little white lie is okay.
206
00:07:06,811 --> 00:07:09,064
Like, for instance,
when you catch your father
207
00:07:09,189 --> 00:07:11,399
jacking off
in a gay men's bath house.
208
00:07:11,524 --> 00:07:12,524
Who's Jack?
209
00:07:12,609 --> 00:07:14,653
Butters,
the point is that
210
00:07:14,778 --> 00:07:17,405
I think that if you told Mommy
what Daddy was doing tonight,
211
00:07:17,530 --> 00:07:20,408
well, she might go
completely insane.
212
00:07:20,533 --> 00:07:21,785
Oh, no, that
won't happen, Dad.
213
00:07:21,910 --> 00:07:23,411
It won't?
Alright, good.
214
00:07:23,536 --> 00:07:25,830
No, because I already
told Mom and she's fine.
215
00:07:25,956 --> 00:07:27,540
You what?
216
00:07:27,666 --> 00:07:30,460
Butters, Mommy wants to take
you for a little drive now.
217
00:07:30,585 --> 00:07:31,878
A drive?
Oh, boy!
218
00:07:32,003 --> 00:07:34,089
I love a good drive.
Is Dad coming, too?
219
00:07:34,214 --> 00:07:36,424
No, sweetie.
Daddy needs to sit and think.
220
00:07:36,549 --> 00:07:37,968
Alright.
See you in a bit, Dad.
221
00:07:38,093 --> 00:07:40,595
Oh, boy, a drive.
222
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:44,432
[singing] What a bright time,
it's the right time
223
00:07:44,557 --> 00:07:46,327
Oh, jeez, you wouldn't
believe how angry I was
224
00:07:46,351 --> 00:07:48,246
when the teacher said I had to
share my finger paints,
225
00:07:48,270 --> 00:07:50,063
because I've been
sharing them all along.
226
00:07:50,188 --> 00:07:52,315
Butters,
you know that Mommy loves you
227
00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:53,483
an awful lot, don't you?
228
00:07:53,608 --> 00:07:55,944
Well, sure I do, Mom.
I love you, too.
229
00:07:56,069 --> 00:07:57,445
And sometimes
mommies do things
230
00:07:57,570 --> 00:07:59,447
that seem hurtful
to their babies,
231
00:07:59,572 --> 00:08:01,574
but it's really
for the best.
232
00:08:01,700 --> 00:08:03,636
You mean like the time you
washed my mouth out with soap
233
00:08:03,660 --> 00:08:05,137
for saying "nut sack"
in front of Grandma.
234
00:08:05,161 --> 00:08:06,663
Yeah, I need
to behave myself.
235
00:08:06,788 --> 00:08:08,081
If a mommy
has to end her life,
236
00:08:08,206 --> 00:08:09,558
she can't let her baby
alone in the world
237
00:08:09,582 --> 00:08:11,960
to be raised
by a sick pervert.
238
00:08:12,085 --> 00:08:14,212
Well, sure, that makes sense,
I suppose--yeah.
239
00:08:14,337 --> 00:08:15,648
Hey, did you see
my mittens anywhere?
240
00:08:15,672 --> 00:08:17,007
It's cold out here.
241
00:08:17,132 --> 00:08:19,050
I'm going to get out
of the car now, Butters.
242
00:08:19,175 --> 00:08:21,386
I want you to stay put
with your seatbelt fastened.
243
00:08:21,511 --> 00:08:23,513
Oh, well,
alright, Mom.
244
00:08:23,638 --> 00:08:27,100
Okay, then.
245
00:08:27,225 --> 00:08:29,853
You know, I think the car
might be moving, Mom.
246
00:08:29,978 --> 00:08:32,355
Yep, I'm pretty sure
the car's moving.
247
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:33,982
Looks like I'm heading
for the water.
248
00:08:34,107 --> 00:08:36,401
Shh. Shh.
It's okay, baby.
249
00:08:36,526 --> 00:08:38,570
Mommy will be
with you very soon.
250
00:08:38,695 --> 00:08:40,238
Well, I think--
251
00:08:40,363 --> 00:08:42,365
Yep, it looks like the car's
filling up with water.
252
00:08:42,490 --> 00:08:44,326
Yeah, I think maybe now
might be a good time
253
00:08:44,451 --> 00:08:47,620
to come back inside the car
and drive, Mom.
254
00:08:47,746 --> 00:08:49,140
[singing] Everyone knows
it's Butters!
255
00:08:49,164 --> 00:08:50,874
Well, that's me!
256
00:08:50,999 --> 00:08:52,417
"Dear Bastard Husband,"
257
00:08:52,542 --> 00:08:54,627
No.
"Dear Lying Son of a Bitch!"
258
00:08:54,753 --> 00:08:56,087
No.
259
00:08:56,212 --> 00:08:57,922
"Dear Ass Face."
Yes, that's it.
260
00:08:58,048 --> 00:08:59,049
"I will no longer--"
261
00:08:59,174 --> 00:09:00,425
Linda, what are
you doing?
262
00:09:00,550 --> 00:09:02,218
Stay away from me, bastard!
263
00:09:02,344 --> 00:09:03,845
Linda, I know
this is very hard.
264
00:09:03,970 --> 00:09:05,889
You don't know anything!
265
00:09:06,014 --> 00:09:07,867
I've been wanting to stop
going to those places, Linda,
266
00:09:07,891 --> 00:09:08,767
but I couldn't.
267
00:09:08,892 --> 00:09:09,892
I still love you.
268
00:09:09,934 --> 00:09:11,603
Then why, Chris, why?
269
00:09:11,728 --> 00:09:14,606
It just--it started as some
curiosity on the internet.
270
00:09:14,731 --> 00:09:17,192
I would chat with other
married guys in the chat rooms,
271
00:09:17,317 --> 00:09:19,361
and, well, the things
they would talk about, Linda.
272
00:09:19,486 --> 00:09:21,406
I don't know why I found it
exciting; I just did.
273
00:09:21,488 --> 00:09:23,573
And it grew from there
and spun out of control.
274
00:09:23,698 --> 00:09:26,284
And...
Damn you, internet!
275
00:09:26,409 --> 00:09:28,370
You don't have to worry
about your family
276
00:09:28,495 --> 00:09:30,163
being in your way anymore.
277
00:09:30,288 --> 00:09:32,374
No, Linda.
I don't want that lifestyle.
278
00:09:32,499 --> 00:09:34,250
It's just kind of
an addiction.
279
00:09:34,376 --> 00:09:36,419
I want help,
and I'm going to get help.
280
00:09:36,544 --> 00:09:38,439
Please, just give me a chance
to make this all up to you.
281
00:09:38,463 --> 00:09:39,964
We can have a normal life.
282
00:09:40,090 --> 00:09:42,509
There is no going back, Chris.
283
00:09:42,634 --> 00:09:43,676
Sure there is.
284
00:09:43,802 --> 00:09:46,388
No!
Our son is dead.
285
00:09:46,513 --> 00:09:48,515
What?
286
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,433
I killed him.
287
00:09:50,558 --> 00:09:52,018
I was going to end it all
288
00:09:52,143 --> 00:09:54,396
and everything spun
out of control for me.
289
00:09:54,521 --> 00:09:58,316
I drowned Butters in the car,
Chris!
290
00:09:58,441 --> 00:09:59,692
Oh, no.
291
00:09:59,818 --> 00:10:02,821
No, no, Jesus, Linda.
What were you thinking?
292
00:10:02,946 --> 00:10:04,406
I wasn't thinking!
293
00:10:04,531 --> 00:10:06,157
I couldn't think.
294
00:10:06,282 --> 00:10:09,160
You destroyed my life, you!
295
00:10:09,285 --> 00:10:11,746
Oh, God, what have I done?
296
00:10:11,871 --> 00:10:14,040
Oh, Butters!
297
00:10:14,165 --> 00:10:15,834
This can't be happening.
298
00:10:15,959 --> 00:10:17,419
This is a bad dream.
299
00:10:17,544 --> 00:10:19,504
Just go away and let me die!
300
00:10:19,629 --> 00:10:21,172
No, Linda, we--
301
00:10:21,297 --> 00:10:23,049
I'm a murderer, Chris.
302
00:10:23,174 --> 00:10:26,886
I don't have a life now!
303
00:10:27,011 --> 00:10:28,805
Linda, Butters is gone.
304
00:10:28,930 --> 00:10:30,223
Oh, Christ.
305
00:10:30,348 --> 00:10:31,558
If Butters is gone,
306
00:10:31,683 --> 00:10:34,018
there's nothing
we can do about that.
307
00:10:34,144 --> 00:10:35,784
But I won't let you go to jail.
I promise.
308
00:10:35,854 --> 00:10:37,939
Linda, please.
309
00:10:38,064 --> 00:10:41,568
[both sobbing]
310
00:10:47,740 --> 00:10:50,452
Oh, boy, this thing
ain't never gonna stop.
311
00:10:50,577 --> 00:10:53,121
I must be all the way
down to Denver by now.
312
00:10:54,956 --> 00:10:55,956
Crash!
313
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:57,333
Oh, whoopee!
314
00:10:57,459 --> 00:10:58,710
Finally.
315
00:10:58,835 --> 00:11:00,354
Well, now that the car
has come to a stop,
316
00:11:00,378 --> 00:11:02,046
it's safe for me
to unfasten my seatbelt.
317
00:11:04,716 --> 00:11:07,385
Boy, Mom must be worried sick
about me right now.
318
00:11:07,510 --> 00:11:11,264
I gotta get back home.
319
00:11:11,389 --> 00:11:13,016
Gee whiz.
Where the heck am I?
320
00:11:14,725 --> 00:11:15,827
[singing] Everyone knows
it's Butters!
321
00:11:15,851 --> 00:11:17,395
Well, that's me!
322
00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:18,789
Tom, I'm standing
in front of the home
323
00:11:18,813 --> 00:11:20,439
of Chris and Linda Stotch.
324
00:11:20,564 --> 00:11:22,501
They're living every parent's
nightmare right now,
325
00:11:22,525 --> 00:11:23,961
As last night,
while Mrs. Stotch was driving
326
00:11:23,985 --> 00:11:25,444
with her son in the car,
327
00:11:25,569 --> 00:11:26,797
a man stopped her,
put a gun to her head,
328
00:11:26,821 --> 00:11:28,197
and took her son away.
329
00:11:28,322 --> 00:11:30,533
When asked who the man was,
Mrs. Stotch replied,
330
00:11:30,658 --> 00:11:32,576
"some Puerto Rican guy."
331
00:11:32,702 --> 00:11:34,304
Naturally, the police
are on an all-out manhunt
332
00:11:34,328 --> 00:11:36,497
for some Puerto Rican guy.
333
00:11:36,622 --> 00:11:39,500
Looks like the parents are about
to make a statement, Tom.
334
00:11:39,625 --> 00:11:40,960
Mrs. Stotch.
Mrs. Stotch.
335
00:11:41,085 --> 00:11:42,646
Any word yet from the man
who took your son?
336
00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:44,005
No, no.
Not yet.
337
00:11:44,130 --> 00:11:46,007
But if you're out there,
we beg you.
338
00:11:46,132 --> 00:11:49,051
We just want our baby
returned safely back to us.
339
00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:50,976
Mrs. Stotch, what did
the kidnapper look like?
340
00:11:51,053 --> 00:11:51,929
Puerto Rican.
341
00:11:52,054 --> 00:11:53,264
Was he tall?
Short?
342
00:11:53,389 --> 00:11:56,392
He was average
Puerto Rican height.
343
00:11:56,517 --> 00:11:58,728
Please, just bring
our baby back to me.
344
00:11:58,853 --> 00:12:01,897
[singing] Butters!
- Well, that's me!
345
00:12:02,023 --> 00:12:04,150
So then my friend
started hollering at me, saying,
346
00:12:04,275 --> 00:12:05,693
"you took my rubber bands."
347
00:12:05,818 --> 00:12:07,004
Well, I didn't take 'em;
Craig did.
348
00:12:07,028 --> 00:12:08,654
I saw Craig take 'em.
349
00:12:08,779 --> 00:12:10,382
Anyway, boy, I sure am lucky
you came along, Mister.
350
00:12:10,406 --> 00:12:11,741
Yeah, too bad
you're not a broad
351
00:12:11,866 --> 00:12:13,951
'cause I need some
God damn poontang.
352
00:12:14,076 --> 00:12:15,916
Yeah, I could use some
God damn poontang myself
353
00:12:16,037 --> 00:12:17,580
right now.
354
00:12:17,705 --> 00:12:18,724
Have you ever been
to Bennigan's, Mister?
355
00:12:18,748 --> 00:12:20,333
Oh, it sure is great.
356
00:12:20,458 --> 00:12:22,352
I'm going to Bennigan's
tomorrow night with my family.
357
00:12:22,376 --> 00:12:23,416
Oh, I can just see it now.
358
00:12:23,502 --> 00:12:25,046
We'll walk in
the front doors
359
00:12:25,171 --> 00:12:26,571
and the nice Bennigan's
hostess lady
360
00:12:26,672 --> 00:12:28,215
will take us
to our cozy booth.
361
00:12:28,341 --> 00:12:31,218
Then we'll order some mozzarella
sticks for appetizers.
362
00:12:31,344 --> 00:12:33,554
Dad will open his present;
Mom will open hers.
363
00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:36,015
Then the Bennigan's
waitstaff will sing.
364
00:12:36,140 --> 00:12:37,516
[singing]
Happy, happy anniversary
365
00:12:37,641 --> 00:12:39,560
from everyone at Bennigan's
366
00:12:39,685 --> 00:12:43,147
Happy, happy anniversary
from everyone at Bennigan's
367
00:12:43,272 --> 00:12:44,440
Happy, happy anniversary
368
00:12:44,565 --> 00:12:46,275
from everyone at Bennigan's
369
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:47,400
Happy, happy--
370
00:12:47,443 --> 00:12:48,736
Ooh, are we stopping for sodas?
371
00:12:48,861 --> 00:12:50,780
Hey, can I get
a chocolate milk?
372
00:12:57,703 --> 00:13:00,289
He must like
T.G.I. Friday's.
373
00:13:02,875 --> 00:13:04,335
[phone ringing]
374
00:13:04,460 --> 00:13:05,669
Let us handle it.
375
00:13:05,795 --> 00:13:07,546
Barbrady.
376
00:13:07,671 --> 00:13:08,798
Hello?
377
00:13:08,923 --> 00:13:09,965
Oh, hello.
378
00:13:10,091 --> 00:13:10,966
Who is this?
379
00:13:11,092 --> 00:13:12,468
Who is this?
380
00:13:12,593 --> 00:13:14,470
Uh, is this
the Stotch residence?
381
00:13:14,595 --> 00:13:16,555
Yes, are you calling
about the abduction?
382
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:17,680
No.
383
00:13:17,765 --> 00:13:19,892
Oh.
Are you Puerto Rican?
384
00:13:21,727 --> 00:13:22,978
No.
385
00:13:23,104 --> 00:13:24,355
We need to keep
this line clear.
386
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,732
Call back another day.
387
00:13:26,857 --> 00:13:28,609
It wasn't the abductor.
Sorry.
388
00:13:28,734 --> 00:13:30,861
Chief, two more parents
from the next town over
389
00:13:30,986 --> 00:13:32,530
have shown up,
saying their child
390
00:13:32,655 --> 00:13:33,965
might've been killed
by the same guy
391
00:13:33,989 --> 00:13:35,616
that took the Stotch boy.
392
00:13:35,741 --> 00:13:36,992
Really?
393
00:13:37,118 --> 00:13:39,245
This is John and Patsy Ramsey
from Boulder.
394
00:13:39,370 --> 00:13:40,579
We saw your story
on the news.
395
00:13:40,704 --> 00:13:42,540
We're so sorry
to hear about your loss.
396
00:13:42,665 --> 00:13:43,850
Our daughter
was killed a few years ago
397
00:13:43,874 --> 00:13:45,501
in our house.
398
00:13:45,626 --> 00:13:47,711
Yes, I remember hearing
something about that.
399
00:13:47,837 --> 00:13:50,631
And we realized
the man that murdered your son
400
00:13:50,756 --> 00:13:52,758
must be the same person
that killed our daughter.
401
00:13:52,883 --> 00:13:54,443
Yeah, because we
certainly didn't do it.
402
00:13:54,510 --> 00:13:56,303
No.
[nervous laughter]
403
00:13:56,429 --> 00:13:57,429
No.
- No.
404
00:13:57,471 --> 00:13:59,140
Well, our son
was abducted.
405
00:13:59,265 --> 00:14:00,641
We don't know that
he's dead yet.
406
00:14:00,766 --> 00:14:03,018
Both: Right...
407
00:14:03,144 --> 00:14:06,147
[singing] Butters!
Well, that's me!
408
00:14:06,272 --> 00:14:08,274
Sir?
Hello?
409
00:14:08,399 --> 00:14:09,692
Yeah, what can I do for ya?
410
00:14:09,817 --> 00:14:11,402
I have to get
to South Park.
411
00:14:11,527 --> 00:14:12,736
If you give me a ride,
412
00:14:12,862 --> 00:14:14,655
I can pay you the $4
I made at the titty bar.
413
00:14:14,780 --> 00:14:16,940
Sorry, wife took the car
to Estes Park for the weekend.
414
00:14:17,032 --> 00:14:19,160
Won't be back until Sunday.
415
00:14:19,285 --> 00:14:20,911
I can give you a ride
Sunday if you like.
416
00:14:21,036 --> 00:14:22,538
I can't wait till Sunday.
417
00:14:22,663 --> 00:14:24,516
I'm eating with my family
at Bennigan's tomorrow.
418
00:14:24,540 --> 00:14:26,017
Well, then, looks like
you're walking.
419
00:14:26,041 --> 00:14:27,310
Will I eventually
get to South Park
420
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:28,544
if I follow this road?
421
00:14:28,669 --> 00:14:30,296
That road leads to Conifer.
422
00:14:30,421 --> 00:14:31,523
You want to go to South Park,
423
00:14:31,547 --> 00:14:33,549
you gotta go down that road.
424
00:14:33,674 --> 00:14:36,177
[lightning crackles]
425
00:14:36,302 --> 00:14:39,513
Of course, I ain't never seen
anyone go up that road.
426
00:14:39,638 --> 00:14:42,266
Six years ago a group of campers
went up there and got lost.
427
00:14:42,391 --> 00:14:44,059
Had to eat each other
to stay alive.
428
00:14:44,185 --> 00:14:45,620
Used to be the way
to the O'Reilly house.
429
00:14:45,644 --> 00:14:46,937
He butchered
over 50 children
430
00:14:47,062 --> 00:14:48,689
and kept their bodies
in a cellar.
431
00:14:48,814 --> 00:14:50,858
But you should find
an old bridge about halfway up.
432
00:14:50,983 --> 00:14:52,359
That bridge is cursed,
you know.
433
00:14:52,485 --> 00:14:54,379
They built it with the bones
of 200 Chinese laborers
434
00:14:54,403 --> 00:14:55,613
who were massacred in '34.
435
00:14:55,738 --> 00:14:58,741
Yeah, a lot of history
on that road.
436
00:14:58,866 --> 00:15:00,868
Well, it's my Parents'
anniversary tomorrow
437
00:15:00,993 --> 00:15:03,054
and they're gonna be awful sad
if I'm not there with them.
438
00:15:03,078 --> 00:15:05,206
Well, good luck then.
439
00:15:05,331 --> 00:15:08,792
Oh, jeez.
440
00:15:08,918 --> 00:15:12,421
Or is South Park
down that road?
441
00:15:12,546 --> 00:15:15,090
It's so very hard to lose
a loved one, isn't it?
442
00:15:15,216 --> 00:15:17,009
Yes, it--it sure is.
443
00:15:17,134 --> 00:15:20,095
Thank goodness we have
each other to share our grief.
444
00:15:20,221 --> 00:15:21,222
Thank goodness.
445
00:15:21,347 --> 00:15:22,223
Here he is.
446
00:15:22,348 --> 00:15:23,599
John, Patsy.
447
00:15:23,724 --> 00:15:25,226
Hello, Gary.
Great to see you.
448
00:15:25,351 --> 00:15:26,560
Chris and Linda,
449
00:15:26,685 --> 00:15:28,565
this is our good friend
Congressman Gary Condit.
450
00:15:28,687 --> 00:15:29,980
He also lost someone
close to him
451
00:15:30,105 --> 00:15:31,607
and thinks it has
something to do with
452
00:15:31,732 --> 00:15:33,418
the same Puerto Rican guy
that hurt our kids.
453
00:15:33,442 --> 00:15:35,236
We're going to get
that son of a bitch.
454
00:15:35,361 --> 00:15:37,488
Yes, I sure hope we do.
455
00:15:37,613 --> 00:15:38,864
I spoke with the F.B.I.,
456
00:15:38,989 --> 00:15:40,241
and some Puerto Rican guy
457
00:15:40,366 --> 00:15:42,701
has just made their number one
most wanted.
458
00:15:42,826 --> 00:15:45,329
Oh, good.
Maybe now they'll catch him.
459
00:15:45,454 --> 00:15:47,294
Oh, here's another member
of our support group.
460
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:48,414
O.J.
461
00:15:48,499 --> 00:15:49,583
Hey, guys.
462
00:15:49,708 --> 00:15:51,168
Chris, Linda,
you know O.J. Simpson.
463
00:15:51,293 --> 00:15:53,128
Oh, sure.
464
00:15:53,254 --> 00:15:56,757
O.J.'s wife was killed
by some Puerto Rican guy, too.
465
00:15:56,882 --> 00:15:58,759
Yep, it was some
Puerto Rican guy, alright.
466
00:15:58,884 --> 00:16:00,219
So you see,
Chris and Linda,
467
00:16:00,344 --> 00:16:01,988
There are people like you
all over the country
468
00:16:02,012 --> 00:16:03,931
who have been affected
by some Puerto Rican guy.
469
00:16:04,056 --> 00:16:05,349
Hey, let's make
Chris and Linda
470
00:16:05,474 --> 00:16:07,184
an official part
of the group.
471
00:16:07,309 --> 00:16:08,435
Yeah!
- Alright!
472
00:16:08,561 --> 00:16:10,854
One of us.
One of us.
473
00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:12,106
Gooble gobble.
474
00:16:12,231 --> 00:16:14,275
[all chanting]
One of us. One of us.
475
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,360
Gooble gobble.
Gooble gobble.
476
00:16:16,485 --> 00:16:17,361
Gooble gobble.
477
00:16:17,486 --> 00:16:19,405
One of us.
One of us.
478
00:16:22,283 --> 00:16:25,286
[singing] For family fun
and great food, too
479
00:16:25,411 --> 00:16:28,372
come on down to Bennigan's
480
00:16:28,497 --> 00:16:31,000
[creature howling]
481
00:16:31,125 --> 00:16:34,253
[singing] Buffalo wings
and fried cheese sticks
482
00:16:34,378 --> 00:16:37,923
the best are found
at Bennigan's
483
00:16:39,258 --> 00:16:41,719
Ah, hello?
484
00:16:41,844 --> 00:16:45,931
[creature howling]
485
00:16:46,056 --> 00:16:50,102
[singing] So, come and eat
at Bennigan's
486
00:16:50,227 --> 00:16:54,732
you'll love all our
shenanigans
487
00:16:54,857 --> 00:16:57,401
[creature growling]
488
00:17:00,946 --> 00:17:02,156
Oh, nut sack.
489
00:17:02,281 --> 00:17:03,490
[gasps]
Oops!
490
00:17:05,451 --> 00:17:06,553
[singing] Everyone knows
it's Butters!
491
00:17:06,577 --> 00:17:07,870
Well, that's me!
492
00:17:07,995 --> 00:17:09,955
No, Linda,
because you can't now say
493
00:17:10,081 --> 00:17:11,874
that the abductor
was Costa Rican.
494
00:17:11,999 --> 00:17:13,310
You have to learn
to keep it straight!
495
00:17:13,334 --> 00:17:14,794
I can't keep it straight
496
00:17:14,919 --> 00:17:16,759
when you keep inventing
new parts to the story.
497
00:17:16,837 --> 00:17:18,798
Hey, don't forget
that I'm covering for you!
498
00:17:18,923 --> 00:17:21,133
Don't forget your lies
started all this.
499
00:17:21,258 --> 00:17:22,676
My lies may have
been deceitful,
500
00:17:22,802 --> 00:17:24,446
but your lies cover up
something much more horrible
501
00:17:24,470 --> 00:17:26,180
than anything I ever did.
502
00:17:26,305 --> 00:17:27,181
Happy anniversary!
503
00:17:27,306 --> 00:17:28,306
Not now, Butters.
504
00:17:28,349 --> 00:17:29,350
Oh, alright then.
505
00:17:29,475 --> 00:17:31,060
Butters?
506
00:17:31,185 --> 00:17:33,145
Oh, Butters.
- Son, I don't believe it!
507
00:17:33,270 --> 00:17:34,313
I'm sorry.
508
00:17:34,438 --> 00:17:35,718
The car just
rolled into the lake
509
00:17:35,815 --> 00:17:37,334
and then floated all the way
down the river.
510
00:17:37,358 --> 00:17:38,734
Oh, my baby's back!
511
00:17:38,859 --> 00:17:40,069
I ain't grounded, am I?
512
00:17:40,194 --> 00:17:41,779
No, no, Butters.
513
00:17:41,904 --> 00:17:43,447
Oh, Son, we're--
514
00:17:43,572 --> 00:17:46,867
Oh, we're gonna need you
to tell a little white lie
515
00:17:46,992 --> 00:17:48,592
about where you've been,
though, alright?
516
00:17:48,619 --> 00:17:49,495
Lie?
517
00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:50,788
Oh, yes.
518
00:17:50,913 --> 00:17:52,265
Darling, you're going to
have to say
519
00:17:52,289 --> 00:17:53,582
you don't know
how you got home.
520
00:17:53,707 --> 00:17:55,018
No, you have to say
that a Puerto Rican man
521
00:17:55,042 --> 00:17:56,919
dropped you off.
522
00:17:57,044 --> 00:17:58,814
Oh, who's going to believe
he would just drop him off?
523
00:17:58,838 --> 00:18:00,297
Hey, you should stop
your hollering.
524
00:18:00,423 --> 00:18:01,799
It's your anniversary.
525
00:18:01,924 --> 00:18:03,426
You're the one
who made up the stuff
526
00:18:03,551 --> 00:18:04,385
about the Puerto Rican,
idiot!
527
00:18:04,510 --> 00:18:05,928
Stop it,
Mom and Dad.
528
00:18:06,053 --> 00:18:07,781
Well, you're the one
that couldn't back it up
529
00:18:07,805 --> 00:18:08,889
with a description,
stupid!
530
00:18:09,014 --> 00:18:12,226
Now, gosh darn it,
you listen here!
531
00:18:12,351 --> 00:18:15,646
Now, I am sick of these harmless
lies and little white lies.
532
00:18:15,771 --> 00:18:18,107
You know, you can call a shovel
an ice cream machine,
533
00:18:18,232 --> 00:18:19,942
but it's still a shovel,
Mom and Dad.
534
00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:21,819
And you can call a lie
whatever you want
535
00:18:21,944 --> 00:18:24,405
but it's still
a no-good, stinkin' lie.
536
00:18:24,530 --> 00:18:26,740
And when you start covering up
one lie with another lie,
537
00:18:26,866 --> 00:18:29,285
why, that's when you get
into real trouble.
538
00:18:29,410 --> 00:18:33,914
Boy, I--I've just about had it
up to here with you two.
539
00:18:35,791 --> 00:18:37,460
Butters...
540
00:18:37,585 --> 00:18:39,003
You're as right as rain.
541
00:18:39,128 --> 00:18:40,963
You sure are.
542
00:18:41,088 --> 00:18:43,132
I ain't in trouble
for hollering at you, am I?
543
00:18:43,257 --> 00:18:46,135
No, Butters, you're the best
son in the whole world,
544
00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:49,096
and I am so happy
you're alive.
545
00:18:49,221 --> 00:18:51,140
Well, I'm happy
you're alive too, Mom.
546
00:18:51,265 --> 00:18:52,892
So now can we
go to Bennigan's?
547
00:18:53,017 --> 00:18:54,393
You bet, son.
548
00:18:54,518 --> 00:18:57,438
But Mommy and Daddy have
something they have to do first.
549
00:19:00,524 --> 00:19:03,652
We have an announcement
to make.
550
00:19:03,777 --> 00:19:05,821
Our son has been returned to us.
551
00:19:05,946 --> 00:19:06,947
[cheers and applause]
552
00:19:07,072 --> 00:19:08,824
Oh, alright!
553
00:19:08,949 --> 00:19:10,117
Butters was missing?
554
00:19:10,242 --> 00:19:12,077
But that isn't all
we have to say.
555
00:19:12,203 --> 00:19:15,039
You see, we learned a very
important lesson tonight,
556
00:19:15,164 --> 00:19:17,875
and it took the smarts
of our young son to show us.
557
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,210
Yeah!
558
00:19:19,335 --> 00:19:20,961
We've learned
that deception is wrong
559
00:19:21,086 --> 00:19:22,731
and that the only thing
to ever make it right again
560
00:19:22,755 --> 00:19:23,631
is to come clean.
561
00:19:23,756 --> 00:19:25,466
Yeah!
562
00:19:25,591 --> 00:19:28,093
You see, I've been deceiving
my wife for several months.
563
00:19:28,219 --> 00:19:30,095
I was going to gay movie
and bath houses
564
00:19:30,221 --> 00:19:33,098
and having sex with random men
who were complete strangers.
565
00:19:33,224 --> 00:19:34,892
Yeah--
wait, what?
566
00:19:35,017 --> 00:19:36,519
Ha-ho!
567
00:19:36,644 --> 00:19:38,145
And when I found out
I went crazy.
568
00:19:38,270 --> 00:19:41,106
I went crazy and I drove my son
into the lake to kill him.
569
00:19:41,232 --> 00:19:44,026
Uh, kill me?
Jesus Christ!
570
00:19:44,151 --> 00:19:45,486
Damn, dude.
571
00:19:45,611 --> 00:19:48,405
So you see, there was no
"some Puerto Rican guy."
572
00:19:48,531 --> 00:19:50,074
He doesn't exist.
573
00:19:50,199 --> 00:19:52,451
And so the people
we owe the biggest apology to
574
00:19:52,576 --> 00:19:55,496
are the Ramseys,
Congressman Condit, and O.J.
575
00:19:55,621 --> 00:19:57,039
We gave you false hope
576
00:19:57,164 --> 00:19:59,100
for finding the person
who hurt those close to you,
577
00:19:59,124 --> 00:20:00,918
and we're sorry.
578
00:20:01,043 --> 00:20:03,271
Now we're just happy we won't
have to live a life of secrets.
579
00:20:03,295 --> 00:20:05,232
For I knew that even though
some of you supported us,
580
00:20:05,256 --> 00:20:07,633
some others were looking
at me and thinking,
581
00:20:07,758 --> 00:20:10,094
"you're a liar!
"You're a liar!"
582
00:20:10,219 --> 00:20:12,179
"You know something
that you're not telling us,
583
00:20:12,304 --> 00:20:15,766
you slimy scumbag liar!"
584
00:20:15,891 --> 00:20:17,619
You know, that's what people
would say to me.
585
00:20:17,643 --> 00:20:20,020
And then people would see
my wife in the supermarket,
586
00:20:20,145 --> 00:20:22,185
and they would say, "hello,"
but they'd be thinking,
587
00:20:22,273 --> 00:20:25,025
"ah, there goes that murderer!
588
00:20:25,150 --> 00:20:26,277
"You got away with murder,
589
00:20:26,402 --> 00:20:29,029
you murdering,
lying waste of life!"
590
00:20:29,154 --> 00:20:31,907
And to me, people might
say things like,
591
00:20:32,032 --> 00:20:33,242
"liar!"
592
00:20:33,367 --> 00:20:36,996
"Tell us what you know,
you Goddamn liar!"
593
00:20:37,121 --> 00:20:38,497
And so to both of us,
594
00:20:38,622 --> 00:20:41,166
people all over town
would be saying things like,
595
00:20:41,292 --> 00:20:43,919
"you know goddamn well
what happened to your kid,
596
00:20:44,044 --> 00:20:45,754
"so stop acting
like victims
597
00:20:45,879 --> 00:20:49,592
"and confess,
you murdering murderers!"
598
00:20:49,717 --> 00:20:53,345
"Confess, liar, confess!"
599
00:20:53,470 --> 00:20:56,307
You know, and that's what people
would be saying to us.
600
00:20:56,432 --> 00:20:59,685
And, so, we just had to come
forward and tell the truth.
601
00:20:59,810 --> 00:21:01,103
We're sorry
we lied to you all.
602
00:21:01,228 --> 00:21:02,479
It won't happen again.
603
00:21:02,605 --> 00:21:04,106
And now if you'll excuse us,
604
00:21:04,231 --> 00:21:06,317
this family
has to get to Bennigan's.
605
00:21:06,442 --> 00:21:07,860
Oh, alright!
606
00:21:11,322 --> 00:21:12,781
Wow, dude.
607
00:21:12,906 --> 00:21:14,426
Your dad's a perv
and your mom tried to kill you.
608
00:21:14,450 --> 00:21:16,118
Yeah.
609
00:21:16,243 --> 00:21:17,971
Boy, you fellas sure are gonna
rip on me in school now.
610
00:21:17,995 --> 00:21:19,246
We sure are.
611
00:21:19,371 --> 00:21:20,914
I really wish
I didn't know that stuff.
612
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,268
I guess I learned that sometimes
lying can be for the best, yep.
613
00:21:23,292 --> 00:21:25,353
Oh, well, when I have a chipotle
blue cheese bacon burger
614
00:21:25,377 --> 00:21:26,920
at Bennigan's,
615
00:21:27,046 --> 00:21:28,356
I'll forget all about
my dad being queer
616
00:21:28,380 --> 00:21:29,482
and my mom trying
to kill me.
617
00:21:29,506 --> 00:21:30,506
I'm gonna be okay.
618
00:21:30,591 --> 00:21:31,634
Really?
- No, I'm lying.
619
00:21:31,759 --> 00:21:32,759
Let's go, Son.
620
00:21:32,843 --> 00:21:34,136
Coming, Dad!
621
00:21:34,261 --> 00:21:35,614
[singing] Everyone knows
it's Butters!
622
00:21:35,638 --> 00:21:36,847
Well, that's me!
44126
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