Original subtitles

♪Subtitles: Arpan Bhatia, MohdAsriDungun, Gunjan♪ Asif Akheir☻

How many stars are in the sky?

Have you ever tried to count them?

If you started today, it would take 6000 years to

count the stars in our galaxy alone.

But how many galaxies are there?

Scientist say perhaps more than 2 billon.

Isn't it possible

that out of so many galaxies

there is one planet out there

where people like us exist.

Just as we are traveling

to the moon and Mars looking for them,☻

they may also be reaching out

looking for us.

♪ [radio]

The thief stole...

the remote device used to signal the space ship.

Without it he can't go back home

He doesn't know our language

and has no friends here.

Alone, helpless,

he thought of only one thing:

How can I go home now?

PK - peekay = drunk (Hindi pun)

♪ Life is running and I go behind it

♪ New paths, all new turns

♪ To go somewhere far away

♪ Heart dreams

♪ Who knows when

♪ or which stranger, I will find

♪ Who touches my heart

♪ And makes me smile, and cry.

Extra tickets! Anyone, extra ticket?

Sorry, I raised my hand first.

But I shouted for it first, then you...

Look I'm big fan of Harivansh Rai Bacchan

But I'm also a big fan of Amitabh Bacchan.

I started reading his poems when I was 10.

I memorized his dialogues when I was 5, before I could read.

Who'll take it? Have you decided?

Give it to me. He knows nothing of poetry.

100 euros.

A 40 euro ticket for 100?!

Black-market poetry?!

I stood in line 6 hours.

Time is money.

Go, listen to your dialogues.

No, you go ahead. Ladies first.

Just a sec. Why don't we share a ticket?

You can listen to poetry, before the interval.

Afterwards I can watch Amitabh, please.

It's a damn good idea!

10..20..30..40

- 50 - 6

- 96 - 96.

96. Give us a discount, friend?

We're from the same country. Up India, bro!

"Vande Matram"... 100 euro. [I praise thee, Mother (India)]

Extra ticket! Anybody, extra ticket!

Uncle, could you lend us 4 euros, please?

Take my watch, until I pay you back, tomorrow.

Please uncle, it's the last ticket.

But it's a full house. No more tickets, now.

No uncle, he's scalping tickets.

That black-marketeer!

Scoundrel!

His kind gives our country a bad name.

True.

Wait here, child, I'll get you the ticket.

Thank you.

Yes!

Uncle ..

Who?

What do you mean who? My ticket!

Oh... Ticket.

100 euro.

You bloody cheat!

You fraud, liar! Capitalist!

Mind your language!

Mind your language, to hell!

Security!

Go see your "Madhushala", now, old jack-ass!

Security! Security!

Let's go, let's go!

I'll fix you!

- Go go go. - Get that cursing girl!

If I catch that old jack-ass...

Old people, nowadays! What a generation!

Just let it go. Let bygones be bygones.

How can I let it go?

He's enjoying poetry and here I am...

Forget it.

"Our memories sting but for a moment."

"As the vast, beckoning futures awaits."

I can write a bit, too.

Really? Very good. Continue.

No, I couldn't.

If you hear the rest of it

you'll end up proposing to me.

Are you crazy?

No really!

Your favorite poet Harivansh Rai Bacchan

met a woman one morning, recited a poem to her

and by evening she married him.

- Really? - Oh, yeah!

And now, he has fathered a legend...

Amitabh Bacchan.

Jaggu.

Jaggu?

My name.

Short, for the odd name my parents gave me.

Jagat Jannani.

I got teased at school, so I shortened it.

Jaggu.

-You from Mumbai? - No, Delhi!

I'm here doing a TV Production Course. You?

I'm Sarfaraz.

I'm studying architecture, and doing a part-time job,

here, at the Pakistani Embassy.

The Pakistani Embassy. Why?

Because I'm from Pakistan.

The Indian Embassy wouldn't hire me, right?

What's the matter?

No, nothing.

Because I'm Pakistani, you lost your smile?

Well then...

Khuda hafiz. (good bye - urdu)

♪ Hm, hmm hmm...

♪ Without asking my name and address

♪ keeping tradition aside,

♪ A few steps, just a few steps,

♪ Come walk with me.

♪ Without asking my name and address

♪ keeping tradition aside,

♪ A few steps, just a few steps,

♪ Come walk with me.

♪ Without saying or asking anything

♪ Holding my hand in yours

♪ A few steps, just a few steps

♪ Come walk with me.

♪ Without saying or asking anything

♪ Holding my hand in yours

♪ A few steps, just a few steps

♪ Come walk with me.

♪ If the harsh sunlight troubles your eyes

♪ I'll make shade, for you.

♪ If dark skies frighten you, I'll cross the horizon

♪ and adorn the sky with the moon, for you

♪ If sadness surrounds you I'll be your jester

♪ and make you laugh again.

♪ Laughing and humming like this

♪ we'll take these few steps.

♪ Now that I’ve found a companion like you

♪ why should I fear the world?

♪ Not just a few steps, but my whole life

♪ I’ll walk together with you

♪ Without saying or asking anything

♪ Holding my hand in yours

♪ Only a few steps, just a few steps

♪ Come walk with me.

Thank you

Mummy!

Papa! She's fallen in love!

Fallen in love?

He's so cute!

Show us more pictures.

What does he do?

I hope he's not from a joint* family. (extended)

Calm down, I'll tell you everything.

First, his name.

Sarfaraz.

A Muslim?!

Yes papa, he studies architecture.

His family's in Pakistan.

Pakistan?! Which Pakistan?

Ma, there's only one Pakistan.

Will you wear a burka? Pray namaz (to Mecca)?

- Are you mad? -Jaggu, don't disconnect!

Quick, get in the car!

What a catastrophe, help us Guru!

I knew where Papa was going.

Ever since I was little, I saw...

Guru Tapasvi's face more than my parents'.

Bye Mom.

On my school bag

on the bathroom wall

Tapasvi ji was everywhere.

He wouldn't even have

root-canal without consulting him.

Papa got a God-box from Tapasvi ji

with a patron god for every occasion.

When papa traded shares

he showed the Godess Lakshmi the computer screen.

On the treadmill he had a Hanuman Idol.

Internet prayers, online readings,

courier delivered prasad* (blessing food)

All, Tapasvi ji's ideas.

Jaggu, touch his feet*. (receive his blessing)

Why, Jagat Janani?

Why are you killing yourself?

Get pen and a paper and write:

Lord, enlighten me.

Yes..

Yes.

As you wish, Lord.

This is your future, Jagat Janani.

That Pakistani boy...

named Sarfaraz...

will deceive you.

Sarfaraz will not.

Look at history.

These people have always cheated and connived.

He'll use you for a bit of fun,

but never marry you.

He'll soon disappear.

Jaggu, come home, now.

If you stay one more night,

you're no longer my daughter.

Mr. Sahni, Sir, let me speak to her

Child...

press the delete button,

and get him out of your system.

Hello.

What's up?

Do you love me?

Of course I do. Why?

Will you marry me?

-Hello? What happened? - Yes or no, Sarfaraz.

-Yes but when? - Tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Tomorrow we'll get married.

Tapasvi ji's prediction is wrong.

I'll prove it.

Congratulations.

Mr James Herrick and Miss Oprah Brown, you're next.

James isn't here yet.

Oh, talk to the Registrar.

Could you just hold this please. - Of Course.

This is for you.

For me? - Yeah.

Thank you.

It was a letter from Sarfaraz.

He wrote, marriage isn't just between two people, but two families.

Our countries, peoples, religions, are all different.

How can we be happy by making our families sad?

Don't try to contact me.

Sorry.

Where to go, young lady?

New Delhi.

I returned to my city,

but papa wouldn't let me stay in the house.

I joined a news channel.

The boss found a depressed dog...

to generate some Breaking News.

Sometimes we'd find news,

sometimes we invented news.

"Missing"

"If found contact PK."

I found a story.

Go to the office, be there soon.

Hurry.

Excuse me.

Why are you distributing these pamphlets?

I have a case pending with God.

He won't resolve it, and I can't contact Him.

My life is hell.

Don't know where He's disappeared to.

Any idea where He is?

No.

♪ [Religious chant]

Why are you wearing a helmet?

To stand out.

Yellow color...

can be seen a long way off,

even in heavy traffic.

I learned this from taxis. - So?

So God can see me.

How else can He spot me in this crowd?

Huh?

Go left...

Yeah, perfect, perfect.

Background ..

Cue, Jaggu...

They say animals don't commit suicide.

This is Nikku...

Dr. Sweetie Singh's dog, from Delhi, Ramesh Nagar.

Last month, it made three suicide attempts.

It tried jumping off the roof, eating sleeping tablets,

and jumping onto a gas burner.

Why did Nikku do this?

Is Nikku suffering from a mental disorder?

Is Nikku?...

What is it, Jaggu?

What is this shit, here, Mittu?

We'll talk more with famous industrialist, Ratan Atarival...

after a short break.

Went well, Ratan. Coffee?

Hey! Someone get the man a coffee.

- Jerry? - Oh no!

What do you think it has? Depression? Anxiety disorder?

Schizophrenia or attention deficit, hyperactivity disorder?

Whatever! Why would I care?

Exactly!

Why would anyone care?

So why are we showing such stupid content?

What do you want to show?

Here, hold this, a sec.

See this,

I met a man today, who distributes these pamphlets

searching for God.

He found Him?

No, but..

Seaching for God - that's religion,

FINDING God - that's news!

When he finds God I'll put him on air.

- But -You know the company policy.

No news on religion and no news on God. Finished!

What's wrong with you?

Where's the old fighter, Jerry?

You want to see the fighter?

Look...

here...

Wanna see the three marks, here?

They're not birthmarks!

Courtesy of your father's friend Tapasvi.

I did an unfavorable news item and

one of his devotees stuck a trishul* (trident)

here, right in my bum.

So I decided, if I want to stay in this country,

I can't mess with religion. That's it!

I've got a show to run, now. Bye bye!

Welcome back from the break,

we're talking with industrialist Ratan...

The boss didn't let me follow up that story.

But two weeks later,

the story resurfaced.

Thief! Thief! Thief!

Catch him,

he stole from the donation box.

Where d'you think you're going?

Hold him.

Out of the way.

How dare you pick the Lord's pocket, fool?

Pundit ji, he is not a thief.

I was putting in my donation and my purse fell in.

He was helping me get it out.

It's true. Check it yourself.

My purse has around 5,000 rupees.

Check it out.

Pundit ji, that's mine.

Once you offer, that's it.

- But... - it's God's!

Move along. Let them leave.

Hey

What were you doing?

Getting my refund.

He accepted payment but didn't perform the work.

Hang on...

You took 500, then put back 300?

I had only offered Him 200,

to do the work.

Before, you wore lots of amulets and talismans...

Rejected! I was a fool. No more.

What about God stickers on your face?

Self-defense.

People put God's image on their wall

so nobody pees on it.

I put it here, so nobody hits me.

Mittu. where are you?

Can you pick me up?

I have no money to get home.

I'm at the big temple, in Mudrika.

Come quickly. Thanks, bye.

Here, take this. - What for?

A taxi ride home.

When people can't get home...

I feel bad

Listen...

No more. That was it.

No no. I can't take this.

Why?

You need this to get yourself home.

Money is no use to get ME home.

Why, where do you live?

Usually,

I stay in Agrasen's Baoli. (stepwell)

But it's raining hard lately,

so, I'll check into the lock-up.

Lock-up... as in 'Police Lock-up'?

Yeah in Delhi there are 122. I do them in rotation.

And they let you check in like a hotel?

Come, I'll explain.

[ Urinating is prohibited ]

Stay here.

Hey thulley (cop), Look!

I'll fix you.

Jaggu.

You sit behind me, we must follow that car.

- Who's in the car? - Our story!

Get your purse. I need money.

Hurry, Mittu!

Thanks, bye.

Excuse me.

Yes?

I want to go in the lock-up.

Why?

To meet that guy.

Lady, does this look like

a college canteen to you?

Where you can eat, drink...

and have fun with friends, as you please?

This is a lock-up.

Only people who do crimes can go in. Understand?

Madam, bribery is a crime.

Yes, a crime. That's why I'm offering it.

I could lock you up for this.

Do it. Please!

Thank you, Pandit ji. - Just one hour.

Hi.

I want to know your story.

Will you tell me?

Why?

I'm a TV reporter. It's what I do.

Ask me...

whatever you want.

Awesome!

So, what's your name?

I don't have a name.

But everyone calls me PK, PK, all the time.

What do you do?

Ash-toro-naut.

Astronaut?...

Like people who go to the moon?

I was there once.

Very dull place.

Accha! Ok, so what's your favorite planet?

My own.

Sure, but apart from Earth?

Earth is so messed up!

I mean my own planet.

At night it's visible.

Up there is my home.

What a huge to-do!...

...the day we found out

there's another planet, where people like us live!

They sent me here, to do research.

But, as soon as I got here,

someone swiped my remote control.

Without it I can't signal my home.

If I don't signal,

nobody'll come take me back.

I'm in a dangerous spot.

I may be here till I die.

Hello... Listen. - What?

Open up please. I wanna go home.

Oh, Madam, we out here, determine who gets out,

not you, in there.

But, I'm not a thief.

Hm, that's what they all say.

Where is Pandit ji? Please, call him.

Pandit ji's doing his rounds.

Pandit ji!

- Pandit ji! Hey girl, shut up or else...

You think I'm spouting nonsense?

What else?

Your planet's official language is Bhojpuri?!

Our planet doesn't even..

Our planet has no language.

We talk with our minds. No confusion.

Here they say one thing,

and mean something else.

One statement has four meanings.

Shake your head and say: accha, accha

It means 'very good'.

Pop out your eyes and say: 'accha', it expresses shock.

"Your mother had an accident. Accha"?... Shock.

A loud angry 'accha' means

You 'REALLY' think you can teach ME a lesson?!

When one is thinking,

there's the long 'accha'.

Acchaaa!

With words you need to learn the feelings behind them,

to make any sense at all.

So damn confusing! Took me a full 6 hours...

to learn Bhojpuri.

It took you 6 hours,

to learn the whole Bhojpuri language?!

Nobody would let me hold their hand!

But then I found a co-operative lady.

I held her hands

and transferred her whole language to me.

You just can't stop lying!

There are limits even to tall tales.

Are your hands USB cables

that transfer files between computers?

And what about your clothes?

Do they also wear faded jeans on your planet?

No, no, no!

On our planet...

On our planet nobody wears clothes.

When I first landed here I thought that...

your people had different skins from ours.

Some with shiny skin, some black.

Some with colorful skin, and some just plain white.

Some skins cling to the body, some are saggy and loose.

Then one day I saw a car.

A dancing car.

Then I understood,

that people's bodies here are the same as on my world.

They just put something called "fashion"

all over their bodies.

Now I could blend in with people from your planet.

But strangely, everyone was laughing at me.

It took a while to understand that

men's fashions are different from ladies'.

Morning fashion was different from night fashion.

Sports-playing fashion was different from toast-serving fashion.

With some clothes I also found a picture.

It gradually dawned on me

that this picture is very important for survival on this world.

I could exchange this picture for food.

So I started collecting pictures of this famous old man.

What?

Why are you giving me this?

Why do you bring junk to my shop?

Ah, I'll take that!

There you go, carrots.

It seemed this picture was only useful on one kind of paper.

On other papers, its has zero utility.

Now I could get both money and clothes from the dancing car.

It became my bank, and my tailor.

Once I found such wonderful attire,

that I didn't even need the paper with the picture.

Food came running to me, on its own.

Sir, take this.

Now in order to find my remote control

I needed to learn this planet's language.

Without language nothing was possible here.

Like, communicating to this gentleman

that he may have a wardrobe malfunction.

Perhaps I'd spoiled the look he was going for.

So, I re-corrected.

I found him on the road.

Probably a hit-and-run.

Seems alert enough...

but he's not responding.

Perhaps he's deaf?

Are you deaf!

He hears but won't answer.

The shock from the blow, induced...

memory loss.

Memory's gone.

Do you remember who hit you?

Remember?... Car's number?

Anything at all?

Let's go, brother.

Come with me.

You're my guest until your memory comes back.

Keep banging your head into things.

If a blow to the head can take away your memory,

another blow can also return it.

I've seen it in films.

I didn't understand a word.

I needed to hold his hands

and do a language transfer.

Woah!

Have you forgotten the difference between male and female?

Hold on a sec.

Look at my driver's license.

Sex - male, man,

mister, a guy, dude...

If I ever wanted to get back home,

I just had to hold someone's hand,now.

♪ O Brothers, a colorful guest has come

♪ Who doesn't differentiate between boy and girl.

♪ O brothers, a colorful guest has come

♪ Who doesn't differentiate between boy and girl

♪ You'll get me in trouble You'll get me beaten up

♪ Don't do this, don't do this don't, don't...

♪ The lewd boy has come here, as my guest

♪ The colorful boy has come here, as our guest

♪ In your multi-colored garb, which village are you from?

♪ Have you come from Patna or from Paatan or from Patiala?

♪ In your multi-colored garb, which village are you from?

♪ Have you come from Patna or from Paatan or from Patiala?

♪ You must have a name, o brother,

♪ With which you registered at school.

♪ You must have a name, o brother,

♪ With which you registered at school.

♪ You must have some address, some ration card

♪ Did you fall from a crack in the sky, or sprout from a hole in the ground?

♪ You'll get us killed,

♪ You'll get me beaten up

♪ Don't do this Don't do this. Don't do this

♪ The lewd boy has come here, as my guest

♪ The lewd boy has come here, as my guest

♪ Losing your memory is a blessing in disguise -- no fights, no quarrels

♪ Losing your memory is a blessing in disguise -- no fights, no quarrels

♪ No dealing with anybody, nor any loans to pay

♪ You look lovable, O pervert, You look innocent, O pervert.

♪ Don't do this, don't do this don't do this

♪ This lewd boy has come, as our guest.

♪ This lewd boy has come, as my guest.

♪ My colorful guest has arrived

♪ The boy who'll jump on anyone

♪ My colorful guest has arrived

♪ The boy who'll jump on anyone

♪ This lewd boy has come, as my guest.

♪ This lewd boy has come, as my guest.

♪ This lewd boy has come, as my guest.

I can understand your pain,

but you can't hold hands in public, here.

I know you're tempted,

but it can be life threatening.

Don't be sad, brother.

Come, I know what to do.

Here, you can hold hands, feet, whatever...

nobody's going to beat you up.

This place was a paradise,

everyone was very beautiful and friendly.

They all took my hand to welcome me into their home.

Then I met a gentle lady named Phuljhariya. (firecracker)

Hey, Phuljhariya, take him to the honeymoon suite.

Phuljhariya patiently sat

while, for 6 hours,

I transferred her language to me.

From 1 2 3, to XYZ

I transferred all she had.

Your first time?

Burnt out before you even started, eh?

Yes.

Where are you from?

I came from far away, miss.

You may not have heard of the place.

But you talk just like me, though.

I speak like you

because I learned it from you, sister.

Hey! Your sister, is your mother!

Get lost!

Brother!

Wake up brother!

Brother!

You can talk now, brother!

I need your help brother.

What magic did Phuljhariya work on you?

Come with me quick!

Memory must have a direct connection to sex.

We must tell the doctor,

we found the most delightful cure for amnesia.

It's very important, brother. Let's go, hurry!

Stop.. stop!

Brother, a guy snatched my chain right here.

I need that chain, brother.

- Is it valuable? - Very valuable.

That thief may be from our village.

But he must have sold it in Delhi.

Here in Mandawa he'd get caught with something so valuable.

Then, I must go, brother.

Where?

Delhi.

- Sir - What?

My remote control's been stolen.

Are you peekay? (drunk)

Police have nothing better to do than finding TV remotes?

It wasn't a 'TV' remote.

What, then?

I can't tell you, but it was on a chain around my neck,

and it's priceless.

Where it was stolen?

In Mandawa. (Rajasthan)

It was stolen in Mandawa, idiot!

And you look for it in Delhi?!

But the thief came to Delhi.

- So? So where can I find him?

Idiot! The population is 1.5 crore (15 million).

The Police are only human, not Gods.

(...not Gods)

Only God can help you.

Praise the Lord. Only He can help you.

God knows where to find it!

God only knows! Now get lost!

Have faith in God, son.

Who is this God, who can help me?

Everyone I ask mentions His name.

The more I heard, the more confused I got.

People here seem to know who made them.

They build places for Him to live.

A house of God on every street.

Millions of people go to Him with their problems,

and He takes away all their troubles, for a small fee.

We don't have such wonders on our world.

I couldn't believe it at first.

Then I thought, I must try.

One God for me please, brother.

Which one? This is 20, 50. That is 100, 500, rupees.

What is the difference between the 20 and 500?

Only the size, the rest is the same.

The 20 rupee one works just fine as well, right?

Here, give me 15. Just take it and go.

God I'm starving. Give me something to eat.

I went totally out-of-control!

This God seemed to be working.

Now, I could go back home!

God my remote control got stolen.

Please get it back for me I want to go home.

Sir, has this God's battery run down?

It worked for a while then it stopped.

What do you mean?

I mean, put in a new battery.

Hey it doesn't run on batteries.

Why doesn't it work, is it a manufacturing defect?

I don't make defective pieces.

You made this God?

Yes, with my own hands.

You made God or did God make you?

Brother, God made us all!

We just make sculptures of Him.

Why do you make His sculpture?

So we can pray to Him.

To tell Him about our joys and sorrows.

Did you install a transmitter?

How do the messages reach Him?

God doesn't need a transmitter.

He hears us, directly.

If He hears us directly,

what use are these sculptures?

Oh man, how can I explain this to him?

Are you trying to drive me out of business?

What is your problem?

My remote control got stolen.

I told God, but He won't say where it is.

Are you PK? (drunk)

What do you mean?

You're overloading this little God!

How can He chase a thief with such little legs?

Go in the temple

they have a bigger God, who can run faster.

Give Him this coconut and some money.

He'll get the job done.

Huh? That'll be 200 rupees.

Everyone waited with coconuts and money in hand

for their own special task.

Two hours later, it was my turn.

God, oh God.

God, get my remote control back.

- Where is it? - Come on, move.

Wait, I didn't get my thing, yet.

He's not doing His job.

-And I paid Him already. -Your job will be done.

- When? - Who knows when?

Soon.

Move along.

-But when will I get my thing? -Don't block the line! Move along.

What if I move on and someone else get my thing?

Are you PK? (drunk)

Wait, madam. What are you doing?

-Where do I get my thing? -Look in mental hospital.

How's that? I paid cash here

but delivery is in mental hospital?

- Get him out of here. -At least give me a receipt.

Give me a receipt.

What'll I show for proof of purchase at the mental hospital?

- Get out, go. - But, my remote?

Out, out.

Brother, I can't find my sandals.

Someone must've taken them.

Take someone else's.

In temples such rotation is common.

I paid in full but didn't get my job done.

What's his name?

- Bhagwan (Lord) - Full name.

I don't know the full name.

Where does he live?

In the temple, nearby.

You put the money in his hands?

No. I put in his box.

Did he say he would finish your job?

That's the problem. He doesn't talk.

Why, is he mute?

He might be.

Really?

Describe his appearance.

He looks exactly like this.

In a larger size.

Come here. Come.

Are you PK? (drunk)

Yeah... how does everyone know?

You think we're jack-asses?

I've been a policeman for 20 years.

I can tell who's drunk or sober, like that.

Kripal Singh. Search him.

What's he got? Give it to me.

Dr. D'Mello.

Doctor, why do you get so drunk

that you forget your own religion?

Instead of a church you went to a temple!

You wanna start a riot?

Go to your own church,

to your own God.

Church?

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ O for a thousand tongues to sing

♪ my great Redeemer's praise,

♪ the glories of my God and King,

♪ the triumphs of his grace!

♪ My gracious Master and my God,

♪ assist me to proclaim...

Get him out. - But, but...

- Get out. - But my remote?

God died on the cross for your sins, and you...

DIED?! On a cross? When?

2000 years ago. For your sins.

What did I do? I just got here.

Are you PK? (drunk) - ...Ahah...

God is watching you. He's looking at your behaviour.

Where? Where is He?

What's in that cup? - Wine.

Wine!... Now I understood

God got bored of coconut water.

Now He enjoys wine, instead.

I had to give Him wine.

So I started collecting money.

Some money, from the dancing car.

And some

from a gentleman with a bowl

who always stands on the bridge.

He lets people take whatever they want.

Brother, is there a House of God nearby?

Yes, straight ahead.

Hold it.

What's in there?

Wine! For God.

Where is He?

One Madam seemed very sad.

To find out her problem, I needed to hold her hands.

Jerk! Trying to hit on a widow?!

Huh? How do you know she's a widow?

Can't you see she's wearing white?!

Is everything fine?

Just relax. Smile.

I'm so sorry your husband died.

What?! When?

How should I know, 'when'? You're wearing white!

White is for weddings.

No white is for mourning.

Black is for mourning, stupid. Get lost! Go!

You all lost your husband at the same time?

Hey I'm still alive. You want one of these?

After several beatings, I understood.

On this planet, there isn't just one God,

but many.

Each God has different rules.

Each God opened His own company.

People here call them religions.

Each religion has a different manager.

Everyone on this world

is affiliated with one religion, or 'company'.

Each following only one company God

and no other.

Which company, am I a member of?

Which God should I pray to?

Knowing this was essential to finding my remote.

What are you doing?

Where is the hallmark seal?

Which hallmark seal?

The religious stamp?

How can one tell, which Company God this child belongs to?

Where does God put his stamp?

Security!

Finding my religion was a tough problem.

But there was a way around it.

I would pray to all Gods

One of them must be my God...

who would hear my plea.

♪ I've heard that You run the whole world,

♪ Listen to my prayer too, my home calls me

♪ O Lord

♪ Where are you?

♪ Khuda*, where are you? (Allah)

♪ I've heard you show the path to lost hearts

♪ I am lost too

♪ My home calls me back

♪ O Lord, where are you?

♪ Khuda*, where are you? (Allah)

♪ Should I worship you (Puja-Hindu),

♪ or should I offer you namaaz (Muslim)

♪ Should I offer an ardaas (Sikh)

♪ You are neither found in the temple

♪ nor in the Church,

♪ My tired eyes look for you.

♪ My tired eyes look for you.

♪ My tired eyes look for you.

♪ I observe all the rites correctly.

♪ I bow my head as millions do.

♪ O Lord, where are you?

♪ Khuda*, where are you? (Allah)

♪ You have many names

♪ You have many faces

♪ There are many paths to find you

♪ I walked all those paths,

♪ but couldn't find you.

♪ I can't understand what you want.

♪ I can't understand what you want.

♪ I can't understand what you want..

♪ I perform rites, without thinking or understanding

♪ I follow your commands, obediently

♪ O Lord ..

♪ Where are you?

♪ Khuda*, where are you? (Allah)

♪ O Lord, where are you?

♪ Khuda*, where are you? (Allah)

I'm very confused, my Lord.

I must be doing something wrong, that you can't hear me.

Hear my troubles.

Show me the way.

Please

Should I hold my hands like this?

Should I kneel at your feet

and touch my head to the floor?

Should I ring a bell

or use a loudspeaker to wake you up?

Should I read the Gita,

Koran

or Bible?

All your managers say something different.

Some say to fast on Monday,

some on Tuesday.

Some say eat before sunrise,

some after sunset.

Some say, worship cows,

others say, sacrifice cows.

Some say, bare feet in the temple,

some say, wear boots in church.

Who's right? Who's wrong?

I don't understand any of this.

It's frustrating, God.

I just want to go home.

I'll do whatever you want.

Just take me home,

please.

Say something.

Wherever you are,

answer me,

please.

Please.

Please.

[MISSING]

Hey, why'd you lock the door?

I won't let you go this time!

My big entrance is next.

"Shiva, destroyer of evil"

"afraid of nothing..."

Security!

- Who are you? - Don't recognize me, huh?

I'm PK. PK. (I'm drunk)

Security!... Anybody?

Some drunk locked the toilet!

I can't do my act from here.

Open the door... now!

First, my remote.

What remote?

My spaceship's remote.

Spaceship?

You forgot?!

I told you so many times.

I'm not from this planet, I come from far away.

Put this away!

Just get my remote, so I can go home.

Understand?

Brother let me go, I have small children.

I know...

Ganesh and Kartik. They're all grown up,

they're OK on their own.

Get my remote...

then go see your family.

Lord, save me.

There's a Lord above you?!

Om namah Shivaya (adoration to Shiva)

Where?

Now presenting the dance of Shiva, the fearless.

Save me!

Save me!

Somebody help!

Ohmm...

Bole, bole, bole...

I was in the snow-capped Himalayas,

in deep meditation.

Suddenly... a light.

A great infinite light...

emanating from a small object on the ground.

I looked at it.

I closed my eyes in meditation.

Suddenly I felt a connection to God.

God enlighten me...

What is this marvellous object...

which even in the snows of winter gives me warmth?

And God said... my son,

it's a jewel from Lord Shiva's broken pellet drum.

Take it.

Take it and build a shrine to venerate it.

for, the mere sight of it

will dispel the suffering of all loyal devotees.

Hail the Great Lord Shiva! (bole bole...)

Would you like to see it?

The jewel from Lord Shiva's broken drum?

Bole-bole, bole. Bumm-bumm, bole (Hail the Great Lord Shiva)

Bole-bole, bole. Bumm-bumm, bole

Bumm-bumm, bole! Bumm-bumm, bole!

A miracle! A miracle!

- Stop! Don't stop him.

Let him come, he's just excited. Come.

Bumm-bumm, bole! Greetings

Not there, my son, here.

Say what you want, right here. Bumm-bumm, bole!

Bumm-bumm, bole!

Praise the Lord!

Lord, where are you?

Come on stage. I want to thank you.

He's here.

I met Him in the toilet.

I asked for my lost property and he ran off.

I wondered, why is He running away?

But no!...

He was leading me here to my property.

Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!

This is not a jewel from Shiva's drum.

It's my property, delivered to you by mistake.

And your jewel ended up somewhere else

Just ask Him. He's here.

God, come up front. Tell him.

OK, I'll just take my property and go, huh?

- Stop brother. - Oh .. its mine.

Bole bole...

♪ A traveller of dreams

♪ Neither a devotee, nor an unbeliever

♪ O God, please tell me

♪ Where am I at now?

♪ Why play hide and seek with me?

♪ Take me home, O God..

♪ My heart seeks refuge

♪ My heart seeks refuge

How long have you felt...

that you're from another planet?

Listen.

You need a psychiatrist.

A mental doctor.

Time to go, Madam.

That's all the jail time you get for 500 rupees.

One minute.

Here's my card.

That's my number.

I can arrange a session with a psychiatrist.

Call me anytime. Ok?

Take care.

Thank you, Pandit ji.

You think my story is fake?

Go, broadcast your suicidal dog story.

Nikku,...

...that is your destiny!

Pandit ji. I want to go back. 2 more minutes.

What's all this in and out?

How about this?

Another 500 rupees, and you take him with you.

Nikku, the suicidal dog...

When did I tell you this?

You didn't.

How do you know, then?

I read your mind

when you held my hand.

You thought, my story is bogus.

It's your fate to do stories like Nikku's.

Liar! I must have told you.

- Don't lie! Madam, I don't know how.

To lie, you must twist words.

On my world, we hold hands and read the mind directly.

Gimme your hand. - No way.

Hey..

Help me, son,

I took my sick wife to the hospital.

They want 10,000 rupees to admit her and I'm short 500.

Could you let me have 500 rupees, son?

Here...

There you go.

Give me your address, I'll send you a money order.

Where I live, money orders can't go. Keep it.

Thank you, son.

Uncle!

Here's 100 more for the tip.

God bless you, son.

Look, that's proof, you can't read minds.

Can't you see? He made a fool out of you.

There's no hospital nearby.

I know.

He's treating his wife to dinner at a 5 star hotel.

It's her 75th birthday,

and she's never been to 5 star hotel.

He's been saving a bit from his pension, each month.

But she ordered an extra ice cream. It cost more than he'd planned.

So, he excused himself to the bathroom but came here for money.

What a load of crap!

Madam, on our planet nobody lies.

Believe it or not.

Wait, hold on.

You give it to him.

It's your birthday, enjoy!

[Agrasen's Baoli]

[Agrasen's Baoli] (stepwell)

I told you. Nobody lies on my planet.

Did you tell anybody...

You didn't tell anyone you're an alien, did you?

No!

They'd lock me up in a laboratory,

then, do an alien autopsy.

Then, why did you trust me?

Since I got here,

everyone just took my money.

Not you.

In fact it cost you 5000 rupees

for a donation to help me out.

I felt you were a gentleman and I could trust you.

I'll get your remote control, PK

How?

How -- I dont know.

But, I'll make sure you get home.

That's my promise.

What are you staring at?

You.

Aliens don't visit me, often.

Say, does everyone on your planet

have big ears, like you?

All the same.

And they all walk around naked?

Don't you find it strange?

That crow is naked.

Do you think it's strange?

It'd be strange, if it wore a tie.

PK, I couldn't sleep last night.

I kept thinking about

how to get your remote from Tapasvi.

Hello!

Hello, connect to Balbir Singh in room No. 4.

Wrong number.

This isn't Fortis Hospital?

I told you yesterday, you got a wrong number.

What do you mean, 'wrong'?

I saved it in my mobile, personally.

So what was it, you were thinking?

Hello, connect to Balbir Singh, room No. 4

Oh, you called too late,

Balbir died this morning.

What?

How could someone die in a hemorrhoid operation?

That is embarrassing. But never mind.

The death certificate will say "heart attack",

Your family reputation won't be spoiled.

Come by to pick up the body.

-Yes... umm ah... - OK, bye.

- Why did you say that? - Just spreading happiness.

When he goes to the hospital

and sees his friend is alive,

he'll be pleasantly surprised.

What?

I'm fed up with his wrong numbers,

so I pranked him.

Pranked?

PK, I was just kidding.

Oh...

Now I get it!

I understand everything. It's a prank!

When Tapasvi calls God,

he tilts his head and says, "God, enlighten me"...

it gets directed to the wrong number!

The person at the other end is pulling a prank.

Why would God say my remote

is a jewel from a broken drum?

It seems..

the God-to-Earth communications system

is totally scrambled.

All managers are getting wrong numbers.

Meaning?

That's why God was giving me weird solutions to my problems.

Sometimes He'd say,

come to me, rolling on the ground and I'll do your work.

Tell me, aren't we all God's children?

What normal parent tells their kids,

"roll on the ground and I'll give you what you want"?

Did your papa ever say,

"if you want a new dress, roll on the ground"?

Sometimes He says,

"bathe me in milk every day".

How bizarre!

PK...

if these calls reached the right number...

what would He say?

He'd say, "millions of my children go to sleep hungry, in the streets,

give the milk to them".

"Why drench me in milk?"

I'm sure someone is pranking,

like you, just, did.

PK thought Tapasvi was decent.

But I said nothing to clarify his confusion.

Because an idea came into my head.

An idea that would get PK's remote back.

Who is this PK?

No idea, who he is or where he's from.

But he sees the world in his own special way.

- Meaning? - Meaning...

If he sees you smoking

he'll call the police saying you're committing suicide.

Why?

Because the packet says: "Smoking Kills"

So, what's your angle?

A great war.

We arrange a face-off between Tapasvi and PK.

We just broadcast what they say.

TRP will go sky-high! (Target Ratings Points)

Jaggu, I already have 3 scars on my right bum.

You want the left bum to balance is that what you're saying?

No, Jerry,

the best thing about this war

is that PK won't fight with Tapasvi.

He will calmly explain that Tapasvi reached the wrong number.

Tapasvi will have no idea how to answer him.

Jerry... Jerry...

He's sitting out there. Just meet him once.

I challenge you, to answer his questions.

Trust me, please.

Brother, this fell from your pocket.

Oh, thank you.

It's... not mine.

Kama Sutra, strawberry flavor.

I hate strawberry jam.

Ask them.

It's not mine!

Weirdo!

- Is it yours? - How dare you?

- Check your purse if one's missing. - Who is this dickhead!

- Uncle is it yours? - No not mine.

PK! It's his.

You can ask him all about it. Come.

Come in.

What is this?

It's a condom.

What's it for?

For world population control.

How?

By wearing it...

...while having sex.

How is the world's population controlled if you wear this?

Not just me. Millions of people wear it.

Do you give these to everyone?

Everyone has them.

I have a question.

Ask, PK. Ask anything!

When money drops, everyone says "it's mine, it's mine".

But when a condom drops, everyone's afraid

and runs off, saying "its not mine". Why is that?

You see, sex is a private matter.

Why?

You don't simply announce to the world "today I'm having sex".

But in wedding ceremonies,

don't the firecrackers, loudspeakers and orchestras...

announce to the whole town: "today I'm having sex"?

What?

I don't have a reply to that.

But, I do have a job for you.

Let's go, before he changes his mind.

Watch your ass, Tapasvi,

my trishul's coming at you! (trident)

PK, Tapasvi ji meets his followers here every day to talk to God.

We'll go in and listen to their phone calls.

When you feel there's a mix-up with the line, tell him.

Explain to him that his calls are going to the wrong number.

Then he'll return my remote?

Once he sees it's a prank

he'll know the story about

the jewel from Shiva's drum is false,

and return your remote control.

Ok I'll explain it to him.

To build a house is virtuous.

To build God's house, is the greatest virtue.

Open wide your arms and give,

to rid yourselves of suffering.

Tell me, devotee, what troubles you?

Tapasvi ji, my wife's been paralysed for 6 months.

The doctors have done all they can.

I wish you would...

God, enlighten me.

Yes.

What else, God?

Where?

As you wish, God.

Have you heard of the Rathong glacier?

No, sir.

It's in the Himalayas. Take the train to Siliguri.

From there take the bus to Gangtok.

From there bareoot... for 8 days.

On Mount Kanchenjunga is God's divine temple.

Go there.

Your wish will be fulfilled.

Wrong number! It's a wrong number.

-What? -Wrong number.

Tapasvi ji,

the technology you're using

to reach God is faulty.

All your calls are going to a wrong number,

and there, some duplicate God pulling a prank on you.

Wh-what are you trying to say?

I'll explain. We're all God's children, right?

Yes, so?

So if your child comes to you with a problem,

what would you do?

Solve his problem, right?

Or would you say, "2000 km. away I have another house.

"Visit me there and explain your problem once again...

"Then I'll resolve it". How absurd!

If your call had reached the right God,

He'd have said, "Take care of you sick wife.

"Why leave her, and chase after Me?

"One day, you'll die. You can meet Me, then.

For now, spend time with her."

Right?

I can prove someone's pulling your leg.

Tapasvi ji, call God again.

Ask if He'll guarantee

that aunty will be cured?

Uncle, get written confirmation first.

Don't leave aunty without it.

Call now, everything will be clarified.

It's time for Tapasvi ji's meditation.

♪ Oh God, destroyer of all evils

♪ Remover of all suffering Hail the Lord!

Hey Tapasvi ji

That false God who misled you

has also stolen my remote.

It's not God, but a fraud.

Fraud!...Fraud!...Fraud!

So far nobody has ever seen or heard God.

What God expects of us

we hear through His so-called managers.

PK raised an important question.

What?

Do these God's Managers

ever reach the true God?

No!

Do the answers come from God, or is it fraud?

- All wrong numbers. - PK, what can people do?

Until the network lines are fixed,

we should resolve our problems,

by helping each other.

PK makes an important point.

As long as the managers

cannot contact the true God,

we should not seek their aid,

but simply help each other.

Bole-bole bole bumm-bumm bole!

Bumm-bumm bole! Bumm-bumm bole!

PK says this temple shouldn't be built,

because that jewel is his property.

What's in your pocket?

You smoke cigarettes, huh?

Yes.

Drink alcohol too, right?

Occasionally.

You smoke and drink

after knowing that it kills.

The government issues permits,

factories produce this poison

and it's sold openly in shops.

Yet nobody questions that.

But when I choose this holy site,...

the birthplace of Rama,...

sacred to Lord Krishna,...

and wish to build a temple,...

why all these questions?

If you want to ask questions,...

then question, the one...

who's trying to stop construction.

Who is this PK?

Is he Parwesh Khan? (Muslim)

or Pasha Khaman? (anti-Hindu)

Please do me a favour.

If you want to ask questions, ask PK...

What's his religion?

His beliefs, his customs,...

what are they?

Long ago, a man named Mahmood Ghazni (971–1030 ad)

came to to destroy our temples.

Today, another man intends to repeat history.

A man, who...

Tapasvi ji, can you phone your God?

He wants to know my religion, right?

Ask Him what is the religion of these children of His

What kind of joke is this?

Call Him up and ask.

I don't have to ask God their religion.

I can tell that myself.

He's Hindu, he's Catholic, he's Sikh, he's Jain...

and this one,...

must be of your sect, a Muslim

Could you tell Tapasvi ji your names, now?

Hello ji, my name is Sukhwinder Singh, Bedi.(Sikh)

Assalamu alaikum. My name is Abbas Ali Yaakob.(Muslim)

Jai Hind (Hail India), My name is Mahaveer, Jain.

Hi, I'm Christopher D'Souza. (Catholic)

Namaskar. My name is Jagat Janini Sahni. (Hindu)

Hm! Confused?

I switched their clothes randomly.

Get it?

Religion is connected to fashion.

Let me explain. Come here.

Beard and turban means Sikh.

Remove the turban -- Hindu.

Remove the moustache -- Muslim.

These differences were made up

by a duplicate God.

If the real God wanted differences

He'd stamp the body permanently. Check your own body.

Mine?

What are you looking at?

Remove your clothes and check.

Don't be shy!

Let's all take off our clothes

and show Tapasvi ji if there's a stamp on our bodies.

Why so shy? OK, I'll go first.

Look.

Is there a stamp, huh?

See? Any marks at all?

Anything, at all?

Any marks? OK!

- HEY!

Get him out of here!

What are you doing? Let me show my proof.

Start the chanting!

It's my property, not God's.

Jaggu!

Stop all this nonsense!

Papa?

You were just 40 days old

when Tapasvi ji named you.

Remember, the one who gave you your name,

can also ruin it.

Papa, he named me Jagat Janani.

How much more can he ruin me?

You!

How much money do you want? - Papa!

You're trying to extort money from Tapasvi ji!

No.

You'll burn in hell!

Beware wrath of God!

Thank you..papa. thank you.

I barely understood half of it. Now I understand it all!

This game's all about fear.

The wrong number fellow isn't just pulling pranks

He's exploiting our fear. Get it?

PK, can you explain it to papa?

U-huh! I can explain and prove it.

Come, come.

I don't have time for this nonsense.

Papa, if this is nonsense, I'll stop my TV show.

Papa, this college is having exams.

Students are all in a panic.

Now we'll start our fear business.

I'll show you.

Come.

Here's the plant machinery.

Initial investment.

And now, the inauguration.

Now, you'll see...

in 15 minutes investment will double.

There's one.

We're in business.

Chai! Hot tea!

See, to sell tea, you need a much greater investment:

Bicycle, tea leaves, sugar, water, glasses, thermos, gas etc...

But here... a stone and a red mark.

Chai! Hot tea chai!

He must call his customers.

We have so many, that we must tell them to go.

Come on, be quick!

Give others a chance. Move on!

There, you bow to the customers.

Here, customers bow to you.

See?

If a guy is really scared

he'll prostrate himself, outright.

The wrong number fellow is in business.

The fear business.

He figured out that scared people

go to the temple.

You're pretty scared, too. Take this off.

Never question religion!

It's about faith!

If God didn't want us to question,

He wouldn't have given us

the faculty of reason.

Faced with questions they can't answer,

zealots get violent.

They stifle us by intimidation.

But now, we won't shut up.

So far, one PK is questioning,

now, thousands of PKs will raise questions

So, friends keep your cell phones handy.

If you see any "wrong numbers" in religion

record it and send it to us.

We'll broadcast it on our channel.

Raise your phones, raise your questions!

Baba ji. Baba ji! (Holy man)

One question.

If you can produce gold out of thin air

why don't you cure the nation's poverty, Baba?

Please answer.

Baba ji,

if you can make your own gold,

why ask us for donations?

Please reply.

Hario, hario! (Hail the Lord)

It's a wrong number. Wrong number.

Jaggu! Come with me.

come with me.

just... come with me!

What are you doing?

The wole nation's calling with wrong numbers.

What?

Terrific job!

Look at this.

He says, feed the cow, you'll find a job.

Will this cow pass on my C. V. from company to company?

or post it on monster.com?

It's a wrong number.

There's more.

He said become Christan or God will send you to hell.

If God wanted He'd have had me be born in Christain family.

Why make me convert, now? Wrong number.

We all want to go to school.

Now there's a fatwa to shoot girls who go to school.

Is God so narrow-minded as to be against education!

Wrong number.

Only what is written in our destiny, will happen.

God has made a single masterplan for the entire universe.

You must accept that.

Outside your followers are selling your holy books for 10 rupees.

They say, if you read Page 4, you will have a son.

That means by reading a 10 rupee book,

you can screw up God's masterplan.

PK, your show is a hit. The whole world is texting.

Here's another.

What is it?

Papa sent a message, he's ashamed of me.

You know,...

I was 10...

when I wrote my first poem.

To papa.

Everyone says I look like mother

Everyone says so, its true

But I'm, my daddy's girl.

I recited this poem on Annual Day.

Everyone was clapping.

Above the clapping,

someone was whistling very loudly

The applause faded,

but the whistling didn't.

That was my papa.

He was so proud of me.

And today he texted...

"Ashamed of you"

In your father's mind,

this wrong number has taken over

The day he clears his mind

of the wrong number,

he'll whistle non-stop.

That day'll never come, PK.

Don't be sad. Come, get up.

On our planet, when someone's sad,

you know what we do?

- What, PK? - Come.

Follow me, your battery will recharge automatically.

-What? -Just copy me.

PK, what we are doing?

Close your eyes.

How can I copy you, then?

Good point.

Keep them open.

♪ Just keep staring at you

♪ Just keep listening to whatever you say

♪ Forgetting all my work

♪ Just following you, wherever you go

♪ It's such a waste of time,

♪ Love is a waste of time.

♪ Love is a waste of time.

♪ This love is a waste of time.

♪ Yet, I've decided in my mind,

♪ at least once in this life

♪ I should do this waste-of-time

♪ I want to do this waste-of-time

♪ I want to waste my time

♪ I love this waste-of-time

♪ Many many times, I look at my face in the mirror

♪ Many many times, I fix my hair

♪ I change my clothes, many times

♪ I spray full bottles of perfumed scent, all over

♪ I keep dressing, I keep combing I don't do anything else

♪ Today, I understood brother, love is a waste-of-time

♪ Yet, I've decided in my mind,

♪ at least once in this life

♪ to do this waste-of-time

♪ should do this waste-of-time

♪ - I want to waste my time - I want to waste my time

♪ - I love this waste-of-time - I love this waste-of-time

♪ Strange, weird things are happening in my heart

♪ How can I explain, what kind of feeling this is.

♪ I just sit and smile, for no reason

♪ Whatever's happening, I can't understand any of it

♪ I feel like flying in the sky

♪ I feel like shouting loudly

♪ Today, I understood brother, love is a waste-of-time

♪ Yet, I've decided in my mind,

♪ at least once in this life

♪ - I should do this waste-of-time - (I should do this waste-of-time)

♪ - should do this waste-of-time - (should do this waste-of-time)

♪ - I want to waste my time - (I want to waste my time)

♪ I love this waste-of-time

More questions than money, in the donation box, guru.

Sir, all your products stopped selling:

pictures, books, medicine, oil, incense...

Facebook and twitter are full of negative comments.

Only five?

These are the positive ones.

The negative are here

Do something, sir

we can't lay low for long.

Call the media.

Likes to ask questions, does he?

Now it's our turn to ask questions.

- Hey Jaggu? - Yeah.

What happened?

Tapasvi wants to be on the show. What? - He wants to debate PK.

That's awesome! PK will shine.

Exactly, it's gonna be one mother of a show! Prepare PK.

Mittu, put the promos on.

Don't forget to watch, "One More Question"

Sunday evening at 6.

My friend has become star.

Look man, my friend's a star.

No. He was running around naked!

I made him a star.

That jackass is on TV.

And me?

Here in this shitty little village,

unknown, in a filthy bar,

drinking booze with an idiot like you.

Star? I made him a star!

Hmph!

PK!

Bhairon Singh calling for you.

Bhairon?

Take that line.

- Brother? - Hey, lewd boy.

So, you're a star, now!

Brother, where are you?

Now, in Mandawa,

but I'll join you in the city tomorrow.

I have a gift for you.

I caught the thief who stole your thing.

He's right here.

Says he sold it for 40,000 rupees

to some guy.

Ask me who. - Who?

To Tapasvi ji.

And God said... my son,

it's a jewel from Lord Shiva's broken pellet drum.

Take it.

Take it and build a shrine to venerate it.

for, the mere sight of it will dispel the suffering

Hey!

Hello, what's up?

The thief who stole my remote...

has been caught.

What? Really?

Brother said...

the thief...

sold the remote to Tapasvi ji.

Then Tapasvi is in trouble.

We'll take the thief to Tapasvi ji and tell him:

"You fat cheat, return the remote, or we'll show it on TV"

Tapasvi didn't find my remote in the Himalayas?

That means he is lying.

Which means...

no wrong number, no duplicate God.

Tapasvi ji is spreading the lie!

Did you know this already Jaggu?

PK, remember the first time you mentined the wrong number?

When Tapasvi calls God,...

it gets directed to the wrong number!

I knew, then, you were not doing it right.

But I didn't clear up your confusion,

because if you'd called Tapasvi ji a fraud

his followers would've beaten you.

PK, people always want something new

Hold it. Wrong number!

And your 'wrong number' idea really caught their attention.

Now, they're all behind you. - It's a wrong number.

PK, my plan worked. You'll get your remote, for sure.

But..

you're leaving tomorrow.

Gone.

I'll never see you again.

I'll really, really miss you.

I'll really, really miss you.

Shall I stay, then?

Don't joke.

I'm serious.

I have a job.

I could get a ration card

and settle here.

I could find someone

who'd waste her time with me.

We'd get married. Why not?

Who would marry you?

Why?

How would she introduce you?

Meet my husband, PK. (the drunk)

That's not my name.

Everyone's talking nonsense. - PK haha

I'll change my name.

You suggest a name for me.

A name you like.

You see...

name and personality...

should match.

Absolutely.

So, how is my personality?

I'll give you a demo

A saint once said...

"The differences between name and character"...

I'm in no mood for poetry. I mean something else.

"The differences between name and character. Have you ever noticed"

How can I explain to her.

"a person with a name so different from his personality."

"A man called Fire who is always cold

"A man called Peace who causes wars.

A tailless man called Hanuman.

"Arjun, the archer, without a bow."

"But Phool Chand ji is so utterly fat,"

"he broke the chair wherever he sat."

Very good, very good.

I wrote a different name on each of these cards

Choose one of them you think suits me best. Have a look.

Tandlu Ram Chittey

Atrocious!

Tuktaari Singh.

Sshh... pfffff!

Sarfaraz...

Sarfaraz.

What's wrong?

Keep looking, there are more good names

What's wrong, Jaggu?

Nothing.

Hey, brother!

[♪ radio]

A terrorist organization claimed responsibility for this attack.

They said, "this was just a small sample...

"of what happens to those who attack our religion.

"We'll protect our religion until our dying breath."

Where are you going, PK?

To the show.

No, it's not important. Leave it

It's very important, now.

"One More Question"

Welcome, everyone, to what will be one "hot show"

Let's join PK and... - One minute.

Just a minute.

Bring it.

What is this?

God says...

this is a broken piece of his drum

But, he says...

it's his property.

God says...

build temples.

He says...

forget the temples.

Now, who should we listen to?

God?

Or this guy?

who wears a yellow helmet and distributes these pamphlets.

Look.

Look.

First he said...

God is missing.

Then he said God is a fraud.

Tomorrow he may even say...

God is dead.

Son, what do you want?

A world without God?

Do you have...

any idea about common people's suffering?

Some have no food...

no roof for a shelter...

no friends to talk to.

Do you know how many commit suicide every day?

They cut their veins, hang from ceiling fans.

Why?

Because they have no hope.

If, bowing to God...

anointing their foreheads with holy ash,...

tying a thread on their wrist,...

gives them hope to carry on,...

then who are you to take their hope away?

And if..

you really want to take God away from people,

then tell us what you'd give us in return.

Enough of repeating "wrong number, wrong number".

Tell us all today, exactly what is the "right number".

What you say right, Tapasvi ji.

Once, I too...

had no food to eat.

No place to live.

I used to cry a lot...

because I had no friends, either.

At that time, I had only one support

God.

Every day I felt...

tomorrow won't be as bad as today.

God will do something.

I agree..

believing in God...

gives us hope.

and to deal with suffering

gives us courage

gives us strength.

But I have one question.

Which God to believe in?

You say, God is one.

I say, wrong.

There are two gods.

One, who created us...

and...

one, you created.

I don't know anything about the one who created us.

But the one you created...

is just like you...

small...

corrupt...

makes false promises.

He greets the rich quickly,

and makes the poor wait in line.

is happy when praised.

frightens people for nothing.

The right number is quite simple.

The God...

who made us all...

can be trusted.

But the one you made...

the duplicate God...

stay away from him!

You think you can insult God and I'll stay quiet?

Son, we know how to protect our God.

You will protect God?

You?

This is such a small planet.

There are millions of bigger planets in the universe.

And you, sitting on a little planet...

in a little city, in a little room,

you talk about protecting God?!

The one who created all this?

He doesn't need your protection.

He can protect himself, just fine.

Today somebody protected their god

and my friend died.

All I have left, is this shoe.

Stop protecting God,

or all that's left on this planet will be shoes.

A Muslim sets off a bomb...

but a Hindu guru has to listen to your lecture.

Hm?... Nice!

Who's Hindu, who's Muslim?

Where is the stamp? Show us.

Not God's, but mankind's distinctions.

That's the most dangerous wrong number on this planet.

The most deadly.

People die because of it, become alien to each other.

The same wrong number

you planted in Jaggu's brain to alienate her from Sarfaraz.

What wrong number?

Sarfaraz would deceive her.

Muslims are all hypocrites.

So? He did, deceive her!

Where's the lie?

One second. - No, what's going on, here?

Just wait.

Are you telling me...

that my prediction regarding Sarfaraz...

was wrong?!

Yeah, of course. - Prove it.

Prove that my prediction was wrong.

And if you can't..

prostrate yourself at my feet

and beg forgiveness, for slandering me

in front of everyone.

And if I prove it?

PK, don't!

Then, it's yours, son.

It's a deal.

Could we have the camera on Jagat Janani?

Jagat Janani,

I hope you will answer all my questions...

truthfully.

In Belgium,

you fell in love with a Pakistani boy.

Yes or no?

Why is my personal life being discussed here?

On a Friday...

at 3:21 pm, I predicted that...

this boy will deceive you.

And the next day...

you went to the Marriage Registrar's office...

but, this boy didn't come.

Yes...

or no?

Yes, he didn't come. Can you please stop this?

Now...

shall you come to my feet,

or shall I bring my feet to you?

Sarfaraz did not deceive.

PK let it go, please

No, tell everyone exactly what happened that day.

PK, please!

Just once...

for my sake.

I was in the Marriage Registrar's office and a letter arrived.

Sarfaraz delivered it?

No.

A little boy did.

Was it signed?

Noooo!

How do you know it was Sarfarz's letter?

It could have been for another girl.

Wasn't there another girl in the place?

a girl with a cat.

Didn't she ask you to hold her cat?

The boy with letter, did he know you?

No.

Did you know him?

No.

How would either of you know the letter was meant for you.

Perhaps he was told...

to deliver the letter...

to a lady with a cat.

He gave you the letter...

you read it...

but you didn't even call Sarfaraz, after.

Did you call Sarfaraz?

Because Tapasvi ji...

planted a wrong number in your brain...

that Muslims are dishonest.

Sarfaraz didn't deceive you, Jaggu.

What's going on here?

A cat, dog, whatever... you're making up stories

and expect us to swallow it, huh?

One moment. We'll get the truth, right now.

Jaggu, get your phone. Call Sarfaraz.

Come on, Jaggu, hurry!

Dit nummer is niet in gebruik (not in use)

This number does not exist.

Another number...

friend, college, something?...

Come on Jaggu!

Belgium University. - Dial.

- Hello. - Hello.

I actually need to get in touch with one of your grad students

Sarfarz, Yusuf?

Oh, yeah, he left for Pakistan last year.

(Contact?)

Has he left a number? - I'm sorry,

we're not authorized to give out information.

Ma'am, this is really important

E-mail us your request. I can forward it to student affairs.

Have a nice day, dear.

Pakistan home number.

- No. - Think, Jaggu, think.

I have a part-time job at the Pakistani Embassy.

He had a part-time at the Pakistani Embassy.

- Mittu, call the Pakistan Embassy, Belgium. - Copy, Sir.

And put it on speaker.

Assalamu alaikum. Pakistan Embassy.

Hello..umm

did you have a student from Lahore working there...

Sarfaraz Yusuf?

Is your name Jaggu?

Hello, is your name Jaggu?

Yes, how do you know?

The phone call finally came!.

The Delhi girl phoned

Farah, Jaggu phoned, come quick!

Mr Syed, come fast, Jaggu's phone call came!

We got a call from India, come, everyone.

Miss,...

Sarfaraz Yusuf phones every morning at 9, from Lahore.

And politely asks, always the same question.

Did someone named Jaggu, call from India?

We say no, and he hangs up.

Drove us all mad.

Hold on, I'll connect you.

[ringing]

Hello.

- Mr Sarfaraz Yusuf? - Yes, Assalamu alaikum.

Where are you speaking from?

Um, from Lahore, why?

Where are you right now?

I'm at my home, why?

Do you have a chair or a bench handy?

If you do, please sit down,

because you may fall from the shock.

Uh, sorry, I didn't get that.

You have a phone call from Delhi.

Go ahead, talk to her.

Hello.

Sarfaraz!

Jaggu

Hello?

Jaggu, are you ok? Hello?

Did you come to the Marriage Registrar office?

Yes I did.

But you'd left.

Why didn't you ever call?

How could I? I read your letter.

It said, "Don't try to contact me"

I knew you had a lot of family pressure.

I don't know why, but

I always felt

you'd try to contact me someday.

Took you a long enough, hey, Jaggu?

What could I do?

I had your number, all wrong.

A friend just gave me your right number.

Thank you, son.

Hold this, a sec.

- PK, you're taking batteries? - You can't get them, there.

What are you going to do with so many?

I'll listen to these recordings I made.

What kind of recordings?

Sounds of this planet, birds, crows, traffic.

You're gonna listen to traffic noise?

Whenever I start to miss this planet

I'll listen to these sounds.

Hey wait!

I have one more trunk.

PK, let it go.!

What do you mean, let it go?

I need those other batteries.

Do you hear me?

Driver, do you hear?

...does everyone on your planet have big ears, like you?

And they all walk around naked?

What are you looking at? Is there dirt on my face?

You know I was 10 when I wrote my first poem...

To papa.

Everyone says I look like mother Everyone says so, its true

Poetry means

saying something big, with few words.

By the way you're really cute.

One more toast for a friend, who...

[Jaggu] ♪ I know, I'm poor in money...

There was no sound of birds, crows or traffic..

Every tape had only my voice.

I got it.

He sure made me run a lot!

PK, what did you record in the tapes?

I told you, birds, crows, traffic.

Whenever I miss earth, I'll play these tapes.

I'll wave to you, from there...

like this, fast.

Please wave back to me...

whenever you have time.

They're not tapes of my voice?

Your voice...

Yes, it's there.

That poem you recited.

Only poetry?

What? Am I in love with you,

that I'd waste all my tapes on you?

He didn't look back, once.

Perhaps he was hiding his tears.

He learned something and taught something.

He learned to lie.

And taught us the true meaning of love.

He loved me enough, to let me go.

He also arrived naked,

like a newborn child.

Also, like a child, he asked a million questions.

Then, one day...

he went away.

About 4000 million kilometers away.

But he left me two beautiful gifts.

Sarfaraz...

and papa.

I'll gaze at his star, as long as I live...

and wave.

I'm sure he'll do the same.

I miss him.

Brothers, in an hour we'll be landing on earth.

Don't forget what I taught you.

Four major points:

1... It's forbidden to walk naked on Earth.

All kissing, smooching and getting naked

are done behind closed doors out of sight.

Thing like, fighting, cursing, wars etc.,

are done in the open.

2... The most confusing thing is language.

If you hear someone at the market say,

"I love chicken, I love fish"

It doesn't mean they're animal-lovers.

It means, today, for lunch they'll eat chicken or fish

There is a huge difference in what people think and say.

Our research will focus on this.

3... We'll steal clothes from a dancing car as soon as we land.

Everyone, put your remote control in your underwear.

Really, really deep, where no one can steal it

And 4... the most important point!

If you meet someone who says he can connect you to God.

Then, to hell with research!

Make a U-turn and hurry at full speed, back home.

Come bro, don't be scared. come.

What are you staring at, eh?

I have a question.

What?

Last time how many times were you slapped around?

What's that for?

Self defense.

Aha, safety?

- Let's go - Let's go.

Hey, where you goin'? This way.

♪Subtitles: Arpan Bhatia, MohdAsriDungun, Gunjan♪ Asif Akheir☻