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1
00:00:03,099 --> 00:00:04,691
Tyrannis:
Hey. Thanks again for the hogs.
2
00:00:04,842 --> 00:00:06,084
We go through them so fast,
3
00:00:06,086 --> 00:00:07,510
and you never have a hog
when you need one.
4
00:00:07,529 --> 00:00:09,512
Asskill:
Well, I'm happy to help out.
5
00:00:09,589 --> 00:00:11,439
If I've got a spare hog
lying around, it's yours.
6
00:00:11,516 --> 00:00:14,108
Tyrannis: Oh, and, um, also,
thank you for not eating me.
7
00:00:14,110 --> 00:00:15,426
I don't say that enough.
8
00:00:15,445 --> 00:00:17,945
Oh, come on!
I'd never eat you.
9
00:00:18,022 --> 00:00:21,374
-You're all bone.
-I appreciate that.
10
00:00:21,376 --> 00:00:22,617
Ooh! Caravan!
11
00:00:22,619 --> 00:00:24,452
We don't get many
travelers through here,
12
00:00:24,529 --> 00:00:27,881
and we certainly don't get
many pretty lady travelers.
13
00:00:27,957 --> 00:00:29,365
[Horse neighs]
14
00:00:29,384 --> 00:00:30,866
Hello there.
Welcome to the area,
15
00:00:30,868 --> 00:00:33,278
or as I like to call it...
the area.
16
00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,113
I'm sorry. I thought something
would come to me.
17
00:00:35,115 --> 00:00:37,706
Anyway, what brings you h-here?
18
00:00:37,726 --> 00:00:40,709
I'm Sophie, these are my guys.
We're mapmakers.
19
00:00:40,787 --> 00:00:42,562
Map...makers.
20
00:00:42,564 --> 00:00:45,123
Have you not heard of maps?
They're the next big thing.
21
00:00:45,141 --> 00:00:46,566
They help you find
where you're going.
22
00:00:46,568 --> 00:00:48,293
Like, if you needed to
get from here to Thebes,
23
00:00:48,295 --> 00:00:50,144
how would you do that?
24
00:00:50,238 --> 00:00:52,297
Well, I'd ask our finder.
We have this guy Casey.
25
00:00:52,299 --> 00:00:54,649
His whole job is just
knowing how to get places.
26
00:00:54,651 --> 00:00:56,076
He's not that great, though,
27
00:00:56,152 --> 00:00:57,410
unless you're looking
for a brothel.
28
00:00:57,487 --> 00:00:59,137
Oh, we have a great
finder--Loretta.
29
00:00:59,139 --> 00:01:00,655
Every city has a finder.
30
00:01:00,807 --> 00:01:02,749
Well, every city's finder
is about to kill themselves
31
00:01:02,826 --> 00:01:04,900
because this is a map.
32
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,145
See? It shows mountains,
rivers, paths,
33
00:01:07,147 --> 00:01:09,238
and of course
all the important cities.
34
00:01:09,316 --> 00:01:11,332
And there we are.
We're an important city!
35
00:01:11,484 --> 00:01:14,094
I'm an important king!
Oh, shame.
36
00:01:14,096 --> 00:01:15,929
Looks like Killassas
didn't make it this time.
37
00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:18,506
I understand,
but they've come so far.
38
00:01:18,658 --> 00:01:20,916
-Oh, Killassas is on there.
-That's not Krapopolis?
39
00:01:20,994 --> 00:01:22,602
No. Krapopolis isn't on the map.
40
00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:24,996
And Killassas is?!
It's barely a city!
41
00:01:25,014 --> 00:01:26,755
No offense.
42
00:01:26,757 --> 00:01:28,666
Hey. I'm selling these things.
To get on the map,
43
00:01:28,668 --> 00:01:30,835
a city has to have something
a traveler's gonna care about.
44
00:01:30,837 --> 00:01:32,170
We're a democracy!
45
00:01:32,188 --> 00:01:33,671
They're a city of cannibals!
46
00:01:33,673 --> 00:01:35,506
Again, no offense.
47
00:01:35,508 --> 00:01:37,342
It's the "no offense"
that's starting to bug me.
48
00:01:37,344 --> 00:01:39,619
City of cannibals is
exactly the kind of thing
49
00:01:39,696 --> 00:01:41,937
a traveler wants on the map
so they can steer clear.
50
00:01:42,015 --> 00:01:43,623
What about your city is
as useful to know
51
00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:45,350
as "They eat people here"?
52
00:01:45,352 --> 00:01:47,460
We have a very nice place
to poo.
53
00:01:47,462 --> 00:01:49,036
Everywhere has
a nice place to poo.
54
00:01:49,113 --> 00:01:50,946
Do you have a restaurant?
55
00:01:50,966 --> 00:01:52,523
-We could.
-Tell you what.
56
00:01:52,525 --> 00:01:54,116
We're coming back around
in a few days.
57
00:01:54,136 --> 00:01:55,877
If you've got a decent
restaurant by then,
58
00:01:55,953 --> 00:01:57,211
I'll put you on the map.
59
00:01:57,288 --> 00:01:59,881
-Restaurant.
-Hey. could you take
60
00:01:59,957 --> 00:02:01,474
our city off the map?
61
00:02:01,551 --> 00:02:04,051
-Travelers are 60% of our diet.
-Oh, I don't know.
62
00:02:04,053 --> 00:02:05,961
Travelers really
should be warned about--
63
00:02:05,963 --> 00:02:07,872
please remove us,
or we'll eat you.
64
00:02:07,874 --> 00:02:09,482
Will do!
65
00:02:26,150 --> 00:02:28,075
Singers: ♪ Huh huh huh huh
66
00:02:28,152 --> 00:02:32,213
♪ Huh huh huh whoo
67
00:02:35,993 --> 00:02:37,402
It's called a map,
68
00:02:37,404 --> 00:02:39,012
and it shows
where everything is.
69
00:02:39,088 --> 00:02:40,680
Casey's gonna kill himself.
70
00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:42,407
That's the least
of our problems.
71
00:02:42,409 --> 00:02:44,350
I didn't mean that, Casey.
We'll find you another job.
72
00:02:44,427 --> 00:02:45,501
Casey: Ohh.
73
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,595
Why is it the least
of our problems?
74
00:02:47,597 --> 00:02:49,672
Because it shows
every significant city
75
00:02:49,749 --> 00:02:50,932
in the modern world
76
00:02:51,026 --> 00:02:52,583
with the notable
exception of mine.
77
00:02:52,585 --> 00:02:53,860
You mean ours.
78
00:02:54,011 --> 00:02:55,010
Deliria: I don't think mortals
should know
79
00:02:55,088 --> 00:02:56,421
where things are.
80
00:02:56,423 --> 00:02:58,105
It's more fun
to watch them wander.
81
00:02:58,107 --> 00:02:59,199
The cities who don't get on
this thing are
82
00:02:59,201 --> 00:03:00,608
going to be left in the dust.
83
00:03:00,610 --> 00:03:01,850
I have to be on it!
84
00:03:01,852 --> 00:03:03,277
-We.
-Look Kissuria's a city
85
00:03:03,354 --> 00:03:05,205
you can't even get to,
and it's on the map.
86
00:03:05,207 --> 00:03:07,356
Wait, that's
where Kissuria is?
87
00:03:07,358 --> 00:03:09,209
Past the Ice Mountains
of Death all the way
88
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,193
on the other side
of the Uncrossable Chasm?
89
00:03:11,271 --> 00:03:12,937
I always thought
it was reachable.
90
00:03:12,939 --> 00:03:14,439
Well, now you know it's not,
91
00:03:14,441 --> 00:03:16,049
but what you don't know,
looking at this map,
92
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,051
is that my city exists.
93
00:03:18,053 --> 00:03:19,868
-Our city.
-And that's why we're
94
00:03:19,888 --> 00:03:21,128
opening a restaurant.
95
00:03:21,205 --> 00:03:22,538
Deliria: A restaurant?
96
00:03:22,540 --> 00:03:23,965
The thing where humans
go to eat
97
00:03:24,117 --> 00:03:25,800
as if they're worth
serving food to?
98
00:03:25,802 --> 00:03:27,618
I wouldn't be caught dead
in a restaurant.
99
00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:29,637
Shlub: I've been caught
dead in several.
100
00:03:29,789 --> 00:03:31,731
Tyrannis: Well, we need
a restaurant to get on the map,
101
00:03:31,808 --> 00:03:33,307
and Hippo's gonna be our chef.
102
00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:35,293
Hippocampus: Me?!
I'm not cooking for people!
103
00:03:35,295 --> 00:03:37,403
Oh, I forgot. You only care
about yourself.
104
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:38,721
Correct.
105
00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:40,073
Why did I think
that would work?
106
00:03:40,149 --> 00:03:41,557
Come on!
For once in your life,
107
00:03:41,559 --> 00:03:43,225
do something for the good
of the city.
108
00:03:43,303 --> 00:03:45,361
Oh. The city you can't stop
calling your city?
109
00:03:45,363 --> 00:03:46,913
What is there, some girl,
110
00:03:46,990 --> 00:03:48,322
some girl you're
trying to impress?
111
00:03:48,324 --> 00:03:49,974
If you're not
going to cook simply
112
00:03:49,976 --> 00:03:51,142
to make other people happy,
113
00:03:51,144 --> 00:03:52,643
how about I appeal to your ego?
114
00:03:52,645 --> 00:03:56,071
What if someone could be
the best at cooking?
115
00:03:56,149 --> 00:03:58,649
Well, obviously, it would be me.
116
00:03:58,651 --> 00:03:59,984
-Prove it.
-I will!
117
00:03:59,986 --> 00:04:01,502
And I know you just played me,
118
00:04:01,504 --> 00:04:04,338
but well played
because I am completely in.
119
00:04:04,415 --> 00:04:05,932
Guess we've got
ourselves a restaurant.
120
00:04:05,934 --> 00:04:07,675
I guess we have.
121
00:04:07,827 --> 00:04:09,160
[Cheering]
122
00:04:09,162 --> 00:04:10,103
Stupendous:
What the hell is this?
123
00:04:10,179 --> 00:04:11,679
Spike, what is this?
124
00:04:11,831 --> 00:04:13,498
Spike: They saw the damn map.
125
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:15,775
They're celebrating because
those baby-eating bastards
126
00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:17,685
from Kissuria can't invade us.
127
00:04:17,687 --> 00:04:19,261
End of an era, huh?
128
00:04:19,281 --> 00:04:21,522
All my life, I've been
preparing to be invaded
129
00:04:21,524 --> 00:04:23,283
by the Kissurians.
130
00:04:23,285 --> 00:04:25,343
I was raised on stories
about those animals,
131
00:04:25,345 --> 00:04:27,862
how they eat babies,
how they chop off your fingers
132
00:04:28,014 --> 00:04:29,847
one by one and feed them
to your baby
133
00:04:29,849 --> 00:04:31,291
and then still eat the baby.
134
00:04:31,442 --> 00:04:33,108
Don't forget the butt sewing.
135
00:04:33,110 --> 00:04:35,461
The most twisted, vile
battlefield torture
136
00:04:35,538 --> 00:04:38,131
ever conceived--
sewing your butt closed
137
00:04:38,282 --> 00:04:40,708
and then force feeding you
till you explode?
138
00:04:40,785 --> 00:04:44,045
Hey, guys! We don't need
our butt guards anymore.
139
00:04:44,121 --> 00:04:45,638
Throw them on the fire!
140
00:04:45,715 --> 00:04:47,473
[Cheering]
141
00:04:47,475 --> 00:04:48,883
Stupendous:
Look at them, goofing around,
142
00:04:48,959 --> 00:04:50,292
not a care in the world.
143
00:04:50,312 --> 00:04:52,203
I can't let that happen to me.
144
00:04:52,205 --> 00:04:54,314
I am keeping this butt guard
and these finger holders
145
00:04:54,316 --> 00:04:57,224
until I have properly
killed those Kissurian bastards
146
00:04:57,226 --> 00:04:58,876
on a field of battle!
147
00:04:58,878 --> 00:05:00,227
Spike: Hell, yeah! I'm in!
148
00:05:00,380 --> 00:05:02,280
Let's go kick some ass!
149
00:05:06,143 --> 00:05:09,887
Hello, and welcome to Ty's Man
Woman Table Chairs Food.
150
00:05:09,889 --> 00:05:11,572
Catchy name.
151
00:05:11,724 --> 00:05:13,482
Have you eaten
in a restaurant before?
152
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:16,227
We've never eaten
indoors before.
153
00:05:16,229 --> 00:05:19,005
Well, you're in for a treat.
154
00:05:19,082 --> 00:05:20,340
Let me tell you how it works.
155
00:05:20,342 --> 00:05:22,083
You order food, we cook it.
156
00:05:22,085 --> 00:05:23,343
It's really that simple.
157
00:05:23,494 --> 00:05:25,086
-Do we have to kill it?
-Nope.
158
00:05:25,088 --> 00:05:26,571
-Gut it?
-Nope.
159
00:05:26,589 --> 00:05:28,739
Skin it, bleed it,
make it into chunks?
160
00:05:28,758 --> 00:05:30,408
Nope! We do all that for you.
161
00:05:30,410 --> 00:05:33,001
Should be called
Ty's Kill Gut Skin Bleed
162
00:05:33,021 --> 00:05:36,171
Man Woman Table Chairs
Food Chunks Eat.
163
00:05:36,191 --> 00:05:38,024
We will certainly take
a look at that.
164
00:05:38,101 --> 00:05:40,209
So I can order anything?
165
00:05:40,211 --> 00:05:41,844
No. I should have
been more specific.
166
00:05:41,921 --> 00:05:43,846
You can order any amount
of one thing,
167
00:05:43,848 --> 00:05:45,773
and that thing is chicken,
168
00:05:45,850 --> 00:05:47,758
and the amount
can't be too much.
169
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,778
Great. We'll have one.
170
00:05:50,855 --> 00:05:52,597
Hippo, we've got our
first customers,
171
00:05:52,599 --> 00:05:54,615
and they will have
one delicious chicken.
172
00:05:54,692 --> 00:05:57,877
Chicken is child's play.
Every cook can make chicken.
173
00:05:57,954 --> 00:05:59,879
I'm making octopus.
174
00:05:59,881 --> 00:06:02,273
Octopus?
Humans don't eat octopus.
175
00:06:02,275 --> 00:06:04,609
You should. All they talk
about is eating you.
176
00:06:04,611 --> 00:06:05,960
OK. Noted.
177
00:06:06,112 --> 00:06:07,720
Seriously,
they have 17 different words
178
00:06:07,797 --> 00:06:09,614
for human meat.
179
00:06:09,616 --> 00:06:11,282
They're crossbreeding
themselves to become giant.
180
00:06:11,284 --> 00:06:12,950
Point taken,
but this is just supposed to be
181
00:06:12,952 --> 00:06:14,376
a simple,
functioning restaurant.
182
00:06:14,454 --> 00:06:17,212
Wrong! It's a test of my genius.
183
00:06:17,232 --> 00:06:19,065
I tenderized this thing
precisely
184
00:06:19,142 --> 00:06:20,641
for the best mouthfeel.
185
00:06:20,718 --> 00:06:22,902
I seared it the perfect
amount for caramelizing,
186
00:06:22,979 --> 00:06:24,645
and here--lemon juice.
187
00:06:24,722 --> 00:06:26,147
Enhances the flavor.
188
00:06:26,223 --> 00:06:27,798
This is scientifically
delicious.
189
00:06:27,817 --> 00:06:29,367
Taste.
190
00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:34,488
Oh! Oh, Hippo.
You're a genius.
191
00:06:34,641 --> 00:06:36,140
I just said that.
192
00:06:36,142 --> 00:06:38,066
What is that thing your eyes
are doing?
193
00:06:38,144 --> 00:06:39,977
Showing pleasure?
194
00:06:39,979 --> 00:06:42,647
Yeah, but why does
it feel good to me?
195
00:06:42,649 --> 00:06:44,907
Because there's a simple
joy in making people happy?
196
00:06:44,984 --> 00:06:46,759
That can't be it.
Wait a minute.
197
00:06:46,911 --> 00:06:49,153
The satisfaction of the eater
is how I can measure
198
00:06:49,155 --> 00:06:50,930
my greatness!
199
00:06:51,007 --> 00:06:54,583
You think the people out there
will make the same face?
200
00:06:54,585 --> 00:06:57,828
Mmm! Oh, my God.
201
00:06:57,830 --> 00:06:59,997
Mmm!
202
00:06:59,999 --> 00:07:01,182
Feels good, right?
203
00:07:01,184 --> 00:07:03,184
Feels great! Let's go, people.
204
00:07:03,260 --> 00:07:04,777
Fire up the grill!
205
00:07:04,854 --> 00:07:06,946
I got an idea
for a new oyster dish!
206
00:07:07,097 --> 00:07:08,689
Do they hate humans, too?
207
00:07:08,766 --> 00:07:09,949
Hmm. Let me think.
208
00:07:10,026 --> 00:07:11,117
Do you steal their jewelry?
209
00:07:11,194 --> 00:07:13,619
All right! Let's start shucking!
210
00:07:17,292 --> 00:07:19,533
Hi. Welcome to Ty's Man Woman
211
00:07:19,610 --> 00:07:21,109
Table Chairs Food.
212
00:07:21,187 --> 00:07:23,354
Man: The branding is all wrong,
but the food.
213
00:07:23,356 --> 00:07:25,039
Woman: He does a thing
with octopus.
214
00:07:25,191 --> 00:07:26,466
Trust me.
215
00:07:26,617 --> 00:07:28,375
You need to
put octopus on the sign.
216
00:07:28,452 --> 00:07:30,211
Tyrannis: Can I be in charge
of the name, please?
217
00:07:30,287 --> 00:07:32,120
Wait. They kill it
and gut it, too?
218
00:07:32,198 --> 00:07:36,033
Yeah. The sign is
very misleading.
219
00:07:36,035 --> 00:07:38,035
Hippocampus: More turmeric.
220
00:07:38,037 --> 00:07:39,479
Getting there.
221
00:07:39,481 --> 00:07:40,813
Start over!
222
00:07:40,965 --> 00:07:42,315
Chef, I made this chicken.
223
00:07:42,466 --> 00:07:44,041
Be honest. What do you think?
224
00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:45,226
What is it? Boiled?
225
00:07:45,378 --> 00:07:46,727
And you didn't even pluck it!
226
00:07:46,879 --> 00:07:48,062
Casey, you're fired.
227
00:07:48,138 --> 00:07:50,639
Please. I can't lose
another job.
228
00:07:50,641 --> 00:07:53,400
Then stay,
but don't touch anything.
229
00:07:53,553 --> 00:07:54,810
Tyrannis: Hello, hello, hello.
230
00:07:54,887 --> 00:07:55,995
Great business out there.
231
00:07:56,072 --> 00:07:57,071
How's it going back here?
232
00:07:57,223 --> 00:07:59,815
Ty, I'm crushing this.
233
00:07:59,892 --> 00:08:01,242
It's like with science
234
00:08:01,394 --> 00:08:03,318
I make something,
and it's done,
235
00:08:03,338 --> 00:08:06,397
but with food, what I'm
making is deliciousness,
236
00:08:06,399 --> 00:08:08,174
and there's no
upper limit to that,
237
00:08:08,325 --> 00:08:10,510
or if there is,
I intend to find it.
238
00:08:10,512 --> 00:08:12,160
That's why we do it!
239
00:08:12,180 --> 00:08:13,754
So anyway, table 8 would like
the octopus dish
240
00:08:13,756 --> 00:08:15,422
-from yesterday.
-No, no, no.
241
00:08:15,499 --> 00:08:17,925
The octopus dish from yesterday
won't enthrall them
242
00:08:17,927 --> 00:08:19,185
like it did yesterday.
243
00:08:19,187 --> 00:08:20,686
I'm sure they'll be fine
with it.
244
00:08:20,763 --> 00:08:22,838
I just told you
I'm not working for fine.
245
00:08:22,915 --> 00:08:24,582
I'm working for better
than anything,
246
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,508
and better than anything
keeps getting redefined
247
00:08:26,586 --> 00:08:28,102
every time I cook.
248
00:08:28,178 --> 00:08:30,012
I worry that redefining
greatness is getting away
249
00:08:30,089 --> 00:08:31,364
from the original mission.
250
00:08:31,515 --> 00:08:33,424
We only need a functioning
restaurant
251
00:08:33,426 --> 00:08:35,785
-to get on the map.
-Tut, tut, tut.
252
00:08:39,782 --> 00:08:41,374
Mmm!
253
00:08:41,376 --> 00:08:42,875
They will get their food,
they will make the face,
254
00:08:42,952 --> 00:08:44,693
I will be the best,
you will be happy.
255
00:08:44,771 --> 00:08:46,695
OK. Just don't take too long
to cook the food.
256
00:08:46,697 --> 00:08:48,047
These people will eat worms.
257
00:08:48,124 --> 00:08:50,274
And if they do, they will
be the greatest,
258
00:08:50,276 --> 00:08:53,719
most exquisitely prepared worms
anyone has ever tasted.
259
00:08:53,721 --> 00:08:55,370
I don't doubt that.
260
00:08:55,390 --> 00:08:58,373
Bard: ♪ And Deliria's ass
is the finest ass ♪
261
00:08:58,393 --> 00:09:00,375
♪ That the world has ever seen
262
00:09:00,453 --> 00:09:02,970
♪ You could bounce a coin
off a perfect little tushy ♪
263
00:09:03,047 --> 00:09:06,065
Darling, have you heard?
Hippo is quite the chef.
264
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:08,550
The line at the restaurant
reaches all around the block.
265
00:09:08,570 --> 00:09:10,795
In other news,
we have blocks now.
266
00:09:10,813 --> 00:09:12,905
Interesting,
but I already said
267
00:09:12,907 --> 00:09:14,148
I had no interest.
268
00:09:14,224 --> 00:09:16,058
I'm on record.
269
00:09:16,135 --> 00:09:17,968
♪ She already said she could
not care less ♪
270
00:09:17,970 --> 00:09:20,654
♪ But now she's curious
about it ♪
271
00:09:20,731 --> 00:09:22,081
[Screech]
272
00:09:22,158 --> 00:09:24,658
Ow! Why a cat?!
You know I'm allergic.
273
00:09:24,735 --> 00:09:26,660
This is over the top!
274
00:09:26,662 --> 00:09:27,920
There has to be a give and take.
275
00:09:28,072 --> 00:09:29,738
Haven't I earned that?
276
00:09:29,816 --> 00:09:31,332
Now I'm all the way outside,
277
00:09:31,408 --> 00:09:34,485
and both of my hands
are cats? Why?!
278
00:09:34,487 --> 00:09:35,502
[Cats yowling]
279
00:09:35,655 --> 00:09:36,762
What if we went
to the restaurant
280
00:09:36,989 --> 00:09:38,431
but not as ourselves?
281
00:09:38,433 --> 00:09:40,825
Shlub: I'm always up
for some roleplay.
282
00:09:40,843 --> 00:09:42,417
Ooh. look at us.
283
00:09:42,437 --> 00:09:44,103
[Exaggerated voice]
I'm Cato, a potter.
284
00:09:44,180 --> 00:09:46,847
[Exaggerated voice]
And I'm Dolores, a milkmaid.
285
00:09:46,999 --> 00:09:48,441
And we're not married
286
00:09:48,443 --> 00:09:50,776
Ooh. We're playing
with fire, aren't we?
287
00:09:50,853 --> 00:09:53,129
Ooh! If my husband
were to find out.
288
00:09:53,131 --> 00:09:56,674
Would he fly
into a violent rage?
289
00:09:56,676 --> 00:09:59,101
We're gonna have to
try less sexy disguises,
290
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:02,079
or we'll never make it
to the restaurant.
291
00:10:06,794 --> 00:10:08,610
[Grunting]
292
00:10:08,688 --> 00:10:10,445
Aah!
293
00:10:10,523 --> 00:10:11,538
Unh!
294
00:10:11,540 --> 00:10:13,633
Aah! Oof!
295
00:10:13,784 --> 00:10:15,384
[Both grunt]
296
00:10:20,475 --> 00:10:22,032
[Spike groans]
297
00:10:22,051 --> 00:10:23,517
Stupendous: No!
298
00:10:27,482 --> 00:10:29,315
[Grunting]
299
00:10:37,325 --> 00:10:38,382
Huh?
300
00:10:38,384 --> 00:10:40,551
This is the Uncrossable Chasm?
301
00:10:40,553 --> 00:10:42,903
It's way more uncrossable
than I thought.
302
00:10:42,980 --> 00:10:44,997
Damn it!
303
00:10:45,149 --> 00:10:47,333
Man: Damn it!
304
00:10:47,335 --> 00:10:49,985
Wait. Are you an echo
or a person?
305
00:10:50,079 --> 00:10:52,505
Man: Wait. Are you
an echo or a person?
306
00:10:52,656 --> 00:10:54,398
No, wait. You go first.
307
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,658
Man: No, I want to go first.
308
00:10:56,660 --> 00:10:58,493
That's what I--hey!
309
00:10:58,571 --> 00:11:02,423
I am Babak
of the Kissurian people.
310
00:11:02,425 --> 00:11:06,018
I am Stupendous of Krapopolis.
311
00:11:06,020 --> 00:11:08,746
-We got maps.
-So did we.
312
00:11:08,748 --> 00:11:10,672
I came here to kick your ass!
313
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:13,250
Same. I had hoped
the Uncrossable Chasm
314
00:11:13,252 --> 00:11:15,252
was a hyperbolic nickname.
315
00:11:15,254 --> 00:11:17,604
Me, too.
Like the Bottomless Lake.
316
00:11:17,681 --> 00:11:21,534
No, I have been there.
That thing is bottomless.
317
00:11:21,610 --> 00:11:25,854
Huh. Well, I'm not leaving
without kicking your ass.
318
00:11:25,873 --> 00:11:27,873
Ohh--
319
00:11:27,875 --> 00:11:30,376
-We should build a bridge.
-Agreed,
320
00:11:30,453 --> 00:11:32,527
and this is not gonna be
one of those things
321
00:11:32,529 --> 00:11:34,621
where we realize
we work better together.
322
00:11:34,698 --> 00:11:36,106
Absolutely not.
323
00:11:36,108 --> 00:11:38,718
Once the bridge is built,
you die.
324
00:11:40,412 --> 00:11:42,888
Tyrannis: Oh, wow!
The joint is jumping.
325
00:11:42,890 --> 00:11:45,115
Welcome to Ty's Man Woman
Table Chairs
326
00:11:45,117 --> 00:11:46,374
Different Types of Food.
327
00:11:46,452 --> 00:11:48,210
There's just a bit of a wait.
328
00:11:48,287 --> 00:11:51,288
Should be called Ty's Man Woman
Wait Table Chairs Diff--
329
00:11:51,307 --> 00:11:53,140
Can I be in charge
of the name, please?
330
00:11:53,217 --> 00:11:54,883
Fine.
Oh, there's some lady
331
00:11:54,961 --> 00:11:56,460
back there who says
she's a mapmaker.
332
00:11:56,479 --> 00:11:59,554
She's here? Sophie,
welcome to my restaurant.
333
00:11:59,574 --> 00:12:02,299
Is it even a restaurant?
So far, it's just a line.
334
00:12:02,301 --> 00:12:03,743
It's a restaurant!
335
00:12:03,819 --> 00:12:05,168
We're just working out
a few kinks.
336
00:12:05,170 --> 00:12:06,487
You're gonna love it, though.
337
00:12:06,489 --> 00:12:08,305
I'll be the judge
of that, though.
338
00:12:08,307 --> 00:12:09,974
♪ Love our playful banter
339
00:12:09,976 --> 00:12:11,751
Just want food.
340
00:12:13,755 --> 00:12:15,588
[Grunting]
341
00:12:19,743 --> 00:12:23,821
-Aah!
-Arrr!
342
00:12:23,823 --> 00:12:28,267
I will remove your head
and parade it around my city!
343
00:12:28,344 --> 00:12:30,269
I'll put your corpse on a pole
344
00:12:30,346 --> 00:12:32,271
and use strings to move
your arms and mouth
345
00:12:32,422 --> 00:12:34,999
and make it seem like
you're saying bad things.
346
00:12:35,001 --> 00:12:36,424
Like what?
347
00:12:36,444 --> 00:12:39,019
Like "Hi. I'm Babak,
and I eat babies."
348
00:12:39,096 --> 00:12:40,595
[Grunting]
349
00:12:40,615 --> 00:12:42,189
Why would I eat babies?
350
00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:44,599
You Krapopolites
are the baby eaters.
351
00:12:44,601 --> 00:12:46,844
That's a lie!
We fight with honor.
352
00:12:46,846 --> 00:12:49,288
I love that sword!
353
00:12:49,290 --> 00:12:52,699
-[Screaming]
-[Grunting]
354
00:12:52,701 --> 00:12:56,278
You're the ones who sew people's
butts closed like cowards.
355
00:12:56,355 --> 00:12:59,356
We did that one or two times
as a joke.
356
00:12:59,358 --> 00:13:02,134
Meanwhile, you people do
nothing but suck out
357
00:13:02,211 --> 00:13:06,697
your enemies' eyeballs
and feed them to your babies.
358
00:13:06,699 --> 00:13:08,549
Stupendous: I strongly
reprimanded the soldier
359
00:13:08,643 --> 00:13:12,144
-who did that.
-Aah!
360
00:13:12,221 --> 00:13:13,704
-Wait, wait.
-What?
361
00:13:13,706 --> 00:13:15,706
You want to kiss me
before I kill you?
362
00:13:15,708 --> 00:13:16,982
That ain't happening.
363
00:13:16,984 --> 00:13:18,892
No. Why would I want
to kiss you?
364
00:13:18,894 --> 00:13:20,544
It happens more often
than you think.
365
00:13:20,546 --> 00:13:22,804
Sometimes, signals get
crossed in the brain.
366
00:13:22,806 --> 00:13:24,156
No. I--I can see that.
367
00:13:24,233 --> 00:13:26,158
No. The reason I said wait is
368
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,569
does anyone know you're here?
369
00:13:28,645 --> 00:13:29,978
-No.
-Look.
370
00:13:30,072 --> 00:13:31,572
You're gonna kill me,
which is fine.
371
00:13:31,574 --> 00:13:33,073
I accept that.
372
00:13:33,075 --> 00:13:34,741
Then I fall
into the Uncrossable Chasm,
373
00:13:34,743 --> 00:13:39,730
so I die down there,
but I got your leg pretty good.
374
00:13:39,732 --> 00:13:42,733
You won't make it back
across those mountains.
375
00:13:42,826 --> 00:13:45,069
You die on an ice shelf
somewhere,
376
00:13:45,087 --> 00:13:46,570
and then what are we?
377
00:13:46,572 --> 00:13:48,906
A couple of dead fools who
died in a place
378
00:13:48,908 --> 00:13:50,683
no one's ever gonna go to.
379
00:13:50,834 --> 00:13:53,644
Frigging maps. Get up here!
380
00:13:56,506 --> 00:13:58,582
It was gonna be so cool
watching you
381
00:13:58,584 --> 00:14:00,175
fall all that way.
382
00:14:00,252 --> 00:14:02,436
I would have screamed
all the way down for you.
383
00:14:02,588 --> 00:14:08,592
Aaaaaaaaah!
384
00:14:08,594 --> 00:14:13,688
[Trailing off]
385
00:14:13,766 --> 00:14:15,599
Don't rub it in.
386
00:14:15,618 --> 00:14:16,876
We can do this.
387
00:14:16,952 --> 00:14:18,118
We just have to come
up with the most
388
00:14:18,270 --> 00:14:20,528
unsexy personas imaginable.
389
00:14:20,530 --> 00:14:22,364
Let's try this.
390
00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:25,275
[Exaggerated voice]
I'm Sol, a plain old man.
391
00:14:25,294 --> 00:14:28,053
I'm married to my job,
which is counting beans.
392
00:14:28,205 --> 00:14:29,889
[Exaggerated voice]
And I'm Helen.
393
00:14:29,891 --> 00:14:32,540
I have severe body odor
and a stump for a leg.
394
00:14:32,618 --> 00:14:34,542
[Normal voice]
How big of a stump?
395
00:14:34,562 --> 00:14:37,079
[Exaggerated voice] Why don't
you find out, Mr. Bean Counter?
396
00:14:37,081 --> 00:14:38,564
[Moaning]
397
00:14:38,715 --> 00:14:40,457
[Exaggerated voice] I'm
an absolute douchebag
398
00:14:40,476 --> 00:14:44,052
named Money Man
with disgustingly long toenails.
399
00:14:44,130 --> 00:14:46,554
[Normal voice]
Ohh! My top 3 weaknesses.
400
00:14:46,556 --> 00:14:48,298
[Moaning]
401
00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:50,651
-I'm a jellyfish.
-I'm dead.
402
00:14:50,727 --> 00:14:53,061
How dead? No wrong answers.
403
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,396
[Moaning]
404
00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:55,915
Well, I'm beginning to
think that we may
405
00:14:55,917 --> 00:14:57,917
never taste Hippo's food.
406
00:14:57,919 --> 00:15:00,085
Oh, roleplay is
simply too stimulating.
407
00:15:00,237 --> 00:15:02,479
I may just have to swallow
my pride and go as myself.
408
00:15:02,481 --> 00:15:04,164
Bard: ♪ She's swallowing
her pride because ♪
409
00:15:04,241 --> 00:15:05,740
♪ The roleplay was too sexy
410
00:15:05,818 --> 00:15:08,168
Who said you could watch,
not sing.
411
00:15:08,170 --> 00:15:10,003
Hippo, she's here, the map lady.
412
00:15:10,005 --> 00:15:12,005
We need to get moving. Hippo?
413
00:15:12,082 --> 00:15:13,933
He's been like this for an hour.
414
00:15:14,084 --> 00:15:15,659
Brother, brother,
what's going on here?
415
00:15:15,661 --> 00:15:18,345
I'm just trying to
figure out a bay leaf.
416
00:15:18,422 --> 00:15:21,014
Hippo, no. Bay leaves are
already figured out.
417
00:15:21,091 --> 00:15:22,683
They're leaves of bay.
418
00:15:22,685 --> 00:15:24,835
Chef, table 6 is still
waiting on the salmon.
419
00:15:24,837 --> 00:15:26,779
-Is it ready?
-Is it ready?
420
00:15:26,855 --> 00:15:28,930
Let's find out.
421
00:15:29,008 --> 00:15:31,266
No. It's Average.
422
00:15:31,343 --> 00:15:34,178
Average is good,
and good is torture.
423
00:15:34,180 --> 00:15:35,362
Then torture yourself!
424
00:15:35,514 --> 00:15:37,347
Fine. Casey,
get the salmon out
425
00:15:37,349 --> 00:15:39,683
of the garbage and serve it up.
426
00:15:39,685 --> 00:15:42,252
Is it OK if there's
a couple bites missing?
427
00:15:47,451 --> 00:15:50,118
Hello again,
and welcome to Ty's, just Ty's.
428
00:15:50,196 --> 00:15:51,878
Your server then explains
the concept
429
00:15:51,955 --> 00:15:53,288
once you've sat down.
430
00:15:53,365 --> 00:15:55,290
-I like the name.
-You're the first one.
431
00:15:55,309 --> 00:15:57,309
Look at that.
Even gods eat here.
432
00:15:57,386 --> 00:15:59,144
Tell me, son, is this one
of those places
433
00:15:59,221 --> 00:16:01,146
with peanut shells on the floor?
434
00:16:01,223 --> 00:16:02,706
It could be.
Excellent because
435
00:16:02,708 --> 00:16:06,226
on the floor in my scat
are peanut shells.
436
00:16:06,303 --> 00:16:07,878
I could come back.
437
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,804
It seems like you're still
working out the kinks.
438
00:16:09,882 --> 00:16:11,215
No, no, no. Don't leave.
439
00:16:11,217 --> 00:16:12,566
I'll seat you in just a second.
440
00:16:12,642 --> 00:16:14,218
Mum, Dad, do not turn this
into a place
441
00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:15,736
where people don't want to eat.
442
00:16:15,812 --> 00:16:17,721
Hippocampus: Why not?
Couldn't get any worse.
443
00:16:17,723 --> 00:16:20,073
He's got me cooking
crap chickens for crap people.
444
00:16:20,150 --> 00:16:22,150
I thought you were cooking food
worthy of a god.
445
00:16:22,228 --> 00:16:24,411
I was getting there,
but he stopped me.
446
00:16:24,488 --> 00:16:27,840
Screw him. Make me something
that would blow my mind.
447
00:16:27,916 --> 00:16:29,324
I will!
448
00:16:29,401 --> 00:16:30,843
Can I just have
a piece of chicken?
449
00:16:30,919 --> 00:16:32,511
I'm so hungry.
I skipped breakfast.
450
00:16:32,588 --> 00:16:38,592
No. No one eats until
I have pleased this customer.
451
00:16:38,668 --> 00:16:40,335
Tyrannis: Mother, can I ask you
the biggest of favors?
452
00:16:40,412 --> 00:16:42,079
Could you just quickly tell
Hippo that he's
453
00:16:42,081 --> 00:16:43,338
blown your mind,
and be sure to
454
00:16:43,415 --> 00:16:44,672
roll your eyes back
in your head.
455
00:16:44,750 --> 00:16:46,174
He likes that.
456
00:16:46,252 --> 00:16:47,918
If he blows my mind,
I'll let him know.
457
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,011
[Sizzling]
458
00:16:50,089 --> 00:16:51,346
Hmm. Interesting.
459
00:16:51,423 --> 00:16:53,181
Not the best thing you ever had?
460
00:16:53,259 --> 00:16:54,591
Of course not.
461
00:16:54,593 --> 00:16:55,776
[Hippocampus sighs]
462
00:16:55,852 --> 00:16:57,036
[Sizzling]
463
00:16:57,112 --> 00:16:58,762
It's good for humans or dogs.
464
00:16:58,764 --> 00:17:00,539
I can't remember
who eats better.
465
00:17:04,861 --> 00:17:06,119
Hmm. Pleasant.
466
00:17:06,121 --> 00:17:08,047
Pleasant is the baseline!
467
00:17:09,942 --> 00:17:11,942
Hippo, the map lady,
she's gonna leave.
468
00:17:11,944 --> 00:17:13,552
Sophie: Thinking about it.
469
00:17:23,622 --> 00:17:27,140
It's...quite good
for what it is.
470
00:17:27,217 --> 00:17:28,792
Hippo, take the win.
471
00:17:28,794 --> 00:17:31,478
I can't. I can't do it!
472
00:17:31,555 --> 00:17:35,240
I'm a fraud!
I'm an absolute fraud!
473
00:17:35,317 --> 00:17:37,725
Why did I ever think I could be
the best at cooking?
474
00:17:37,803 --> 00:17:39,636
-Mmm!
-Mmm!
475
00:17:39,638 --> 00:17:40,728
Ha ha ha!
476
00:17:40,806 --> 00:17:42,306
Everyone, out!
477
00:17:42,308 --> 00:17:45,142
A delight from start to finish!
We'll dine again!
478
00:17:45,144 --> 00:17:48,570
I said out! Get out!
479
00:17:48,647 --> 00:17:49,755
Rah!
480
00:17:49,832 --> 00:17:52,091
[People shouting]
481
00:17:52,167 --> 00:17:53,926
I think I've seen
what I need to see.
482
00:17:54,002 --> 00:17:56,153
Hippocampus: Aah!
483
00:17:56,155 --> 00:17:57,429
Tyrannis:
Thank you for dining at Ty's
484
00:17:57,506 --> 00:18:00,933
Walk In Sit Down
Don't Eat Run Away.
485
00:18:01,009 --> 00:18:02,509
I hate the mapped world.
486
00:18:02,586 --> 00:18:05,086
It used to be you'd go off on
an adventure.
487
00:18:05,106 --> 00:18:06,605
You wouldn't know what
you'd find
488
00:18:06,682 --> 00:18:08,423
or who you'd have to kill.
489
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:10,834
Yeah, used to be anyone
could show up
490
00:18:10,836 --> 00:18:12,594
at your doorstep, anyone?
491
00:18:12,671 --> 00:18:14,780
My whole army was driven
by the possibility
492
00:18:14,857 --> 00:18:16,340
of your invasion.
493
00:18:16,342 --> 00:18:18,600
-Us, too.
-That's why I came here.
494
00:18:18,677 --> 00:18:21,194
What I really wanted
to fight was that map,
495
00:18:21,196 --> 00:18:23,271
but I guess the map won.
496
00:18:23,349 --> 00:18:26,199
Wait, but now the map is wrong.
497
00:18:26,276 --> 00:18:29,611
This is supposed to be
the Uncrossable Chasm,
498
00:18:29,688 --> 00:18:31,188
but now it's covered
499
00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:33,523
by the Dangerous
but Doable Bridge.
500
00:18:33,525 --> 00:18:36,877
You go home and tell your people
that map is wrong.
501
00:18:36,953 --> 00:18:38,453
Tell them we're coming,
502
00:18:38,530 --> 00:18:40,955
and our babies are hungry
for eyeballs.
503
00:18:41,033 --> 00:18:44,125
-Ha ha ha!
-Ha ha ha!
504
00:18:44,145 --> 00:18:45,702
[Babak grunts]
505
00:18:45,704 --> 00:18:48,038
Wait. You think we have
enough battle scars?
506
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:49,556
It's got to be realistic.
507
00:18:49,633 --> 00:18:52,042
Oh, right. You want to just
take this eyeball?
508
00:18:52,044 --> 00:18:54,044
-Sure.
-You want to sew my butt shut?
509
00:18:54,046 --> 00:18:58,382
I'd like that.
I'd like that very much.
510
00:18:58,384 --> 00:18:59,474
[Sobbing]
511
00:18:59,551 --> 00:19:01,476
-You did this to me.
-I did?
512
00:19:01,553 --> 00:19:03,311
You let me believe that cooking
513
00:19:03,389 --> 00:19:05,071
could be
scientifically measurable.
514
00:19:05,148 --> 00:19:06,573
That's because I couldn't
get you to just cook
515
00:19:06,650 --> 00:19:08,074
for the sheer pleasure
of doing something
516
00:19:08,151 --> 00:19:09,559
for someone else.
517
00:19:09,561 --> 00:19:11,077
Altruism? There's no such thing.
518
00:19:11,154 --> 00:19:13,397
Helping other people
is always self-serving.
519
00:19:13,399 --> 00:19:15,174
I built this city
for other people,
520
00:19:15,250 --> 00:19:17,901
and I wanted a restaurant
for the good of the people.
521
00:19:17,903 --> 00:19:22,014
Oh, a restaurant called Ty's,
where I did all the work?
522
00:19:22,090 --> 00:19:23,665
Branding was important!
523
00:19:23,742 --> 00:19:25,667
You didn't build
this city to help people, Ty.
524
00:19:25,744 --> 00:19:28,187
You built it to be the guy
who helped people.
525
00:19:28,263 --> 00:19:30,580
The city was my penis,
wasn't it?
526
00:19:30,582 --> 00:19:32,098
-What?!
-No.
527
00:19:32,175 --> 00:19:34,768
I was just saying
it's an extension of my ego.
528
00:19:34,844 --> 00:19:36,102
Then say that.
529
00:19:36,179 --> 00:19:38,438
Well, forgive me
for being poetic.
530
00:19:38,515 --> 00:19:40,273
Casey: Hey, guys.
What's so wrong
531
00:19:40,350 --> 00:19:43,260
about helping people
for the sake of your own ego?
532
00:19:43,262 --> 00:19:45,278
-Huh?
-I mean, you made a city
533
00:19:45,355 --> 00:19:47,614
to get kudos,
and you cooked
534
00:19:47,766 --> 00:19:49,524
for the good eye rolls,
535
00:19:49,601 --> 00:19:52,211
but either way,
you guys gave me a job,
536
00:19:52,287 --> 00:19:55,029
and I was on the verge
of ending it all in a brothel.
537
00:19:55,107 --> 00:19:57,457
I'm just saying good
did come out of this,
538
00:19:57,534 --> 00:20:00,135
whether or not
it's why you did it.
539
00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:03,222
How do you like the sound
540
00:20:03,298 --> 00:20:07,184
of Casey's Man Woman Eat Chicken
Table?
541
00:20:08,620 --> 00:20:11,304
Thanks for coming back.
So was that the best
542
00:20:11,381 --> 00:20:12,898
whole, boiled, unplucked chicken
543
00:20:13,049 --> 00:20:15,308
-you've ever had?
-First and hopefully last.
544
00:20:15,385 --> 00:20:17,552
So good enough to put
us on the map?
545
00:20:17,629 --> 00:20:19,629
Yeah. I'll make a note
that Krapopolis has
546
00:20:19,631 --> 00:20:21,222
a restaurant you should
definitely avoid...
547
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:22,966
-Oh.
-but a king
548
00:20:22,968 --> 00:20:24,301
who tries real hard.
549
00:20:24,303 --> 00:20:26,987
I'll take the win.
Mum, Dad, no!
550
00:20:27,063 --> 00:20:29,806
My name is Sam the Jellyfish.
551
00:20:29,808 --> 00:20:32,125
And I'm Jessica,
and I'm dead.
552
00:20:36,315 --> 00:20:38,507
[Speaking Octopus]
553
00:21:22,452 --> 00:21:23,719
Dan Harmon: Did you get
any of that?
554
00:21:26,698 --> 00:21:27,681
Voice: Bento!
[Cheering]
40118
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