Original subtitles

(arrows whooshing)

(energetic music)

(ominous music) (banging)

(footsteps clacking)

(muffled breathing)

- [Jess] Did I say you could speak, weasel?

(muffled speaking)

(footsteps clacking)

(muffled groan)

(muffled whimpering)

Are you going to behave?

- [Captive] I'm trying.

(suspenseful music)

(Jess sighs)

- Liar! (lid slams)

(muffled speaking) (camera beeping)

(suspenseful music continues)

Such a pity, Mr. Westley.

If only you had to approve.

Oh, you poor, pathetic man.

Oh, nobody loves you.

(phone rings loudly)

Time's up.

(muffled screaming)

(Jess grunting) (muffled speaking)

Take it out! (dog barking)

Ferry schedule, leaving Staten Island.

- [Recording] The next ferry leaving from Manhattan terminal

is in 20 minutes.

(tape ripping)

(Jess grunts)

(captive grunts)

Okay, get out, I have to go.

- Wait. - No.

- Please, just one more time.

- No way, Jose.

- Oh, my wife, she won't do this for me, please.

- [Jess] Oh.

- [Mr. Westley] It's just--

- I would love to meet wife, man.

- Please, I really need it.

No, but--

- You owe me another 50 for going over.

- Another 50?

I already gave you $400.

Hey, wait, wait, before you go could you hit me in the face?

Slap me real good.

Hey, I gotta get to my kid's recital, come...

Please, let me out of this!

(ferry horn honking)

- A very good masochist.

Awfully nice guy.

Not creep.

Okay, so don't forget to subscribe

and join me next week for the next episode.

(suspenseful music)

(message whooshes)

I love you, Jellybelly.

(suspenseful music continues)

(vibrant pop rock music)

(beeping)

♪ If we start cracking at the center, I won't let it break ♪

♪ Hold it together through the weather, it's my DNA ♪

♪ So sick of being your giver, throwing my soul away ♪

♪ A-a-a-all give ♪

♪ No-no-no-no take ♪

♪ Look what you started ♪

♪ You're turning me heartless ♪

♪ I'm trying my hardest ♪

♪ If I'm being honest ♪

(cash register rings)

♪ I can't take it over and over ♪

♪ Dead weight hanging off of my shoulder ♪

♪ Nothing changes, I'm getting colder ♪

♪ Dead weight hanging off of my shoulders ♪

(popping) (music continues)

♪ Dead weight hanging ♪

♪ Off of my shoulders ♪

♪ If I start cracking at the center, all this goes away ♪

♪ I'm staying numb to my feelings ♪

♪ Dodge 'em like novocaine ♪

♪ My back is breaking from taking all of this dead weight ♪

♪ A-a-a-all give ♪

♪ No-no-no-no take ♪

♪ Do you even notice ♪

♪ How easy you got this ♪

♪ A-a-a-all give ♪

- [Jess] How long is this screen test?

- [Client] Do you mind if I strap you down?

- [Jess] Gum commercial, huh?

♪ No-no-no-no take ♪

♪ A-a-a-all give ♪

- [Client] Are you ready?

- To be tortured?

Of course. (laughs)

(Jess speaking indistinctly)

(Jess chuckles)

Fuck!

Okay!

♪ Dead weight hanging off of my shoulders ♪

You're liking this way too much.

Ladies, beware. (chuckles)

Unless, ya'll be into feather dusters in your armpit

and barbecue prongs in your groin.

That was 100%, bullshit!

But I got paid!

Oh God.

(mellow R&B music) (siren wailing)

♪ All I need to stay afloat ♪

(notification bell rings)

(message box whooshes)

(cat meows)

(sighs)

Okay.

(cat meows)

(siren wails)

Job was total BS, guy was harmless.

(hums)

(cat meows)

Okay, I'm coming!

Ah, damn feed you.

(cat meowing)

Ooh, tuna entree.

She knows you're hungry.

Here you go.

(mellow R&B music continues)

(notification bell dings)

Dad's day today.

Yeah, me too.

(suspenseful music)

(mother coughing)

(mother coughing)

- [Young Jess] Mom?

(suspenseful music continues) (mother coughing)

Mom?

(mother coughs)

Mom, wake up, wake up!

Wake up!

(gasps) (child screams)

(Jess groans)

- Why does that keep happening?

(suspenseful music)

(notification bells ding) (cat meows)

(energetic synth music)

(cat meows)

(notification beeps)

Holy shit, Squeaks, we're in 12th place!

(energetic synth music continues)

(sighs)

Holy shit.

(notification beeps)

Finally.

Five million followers.

Five million followers?

(energetic synth music continues)

Huh?

What?

No, it's not.

(energetic synth music continues)

(dramatic music)

Oh, fuck!

Oh, come on!

(sighs) I swear to God.

That can't even happen.

Oh, my God.

I just posted my best episode,

and the dude's face is exposed.

Can you call me ASAP?

Exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark.

(tense music)

(computer keys clicking)

Okay.

(notification bell beeps)

Ah, I don't know what to do.

(scoffs)

(tense music continues)

(computer keys click)

Please have a technician reach out ASAP.

(notification beeps)

Five business days, five business days?

(message whooshes)

(register clangs) (Jess groans)

(pedestrians chattering)

- [Director] Slate, please.

- Hi, I'm Jess Peters.

I'm five-six.

- Your role, and state that you're comfortable

with the explicit material in the scene.

- I am auditioning for Girlfriend Two. (laughs)

I'm auditioning for Girlfriend. (laughs)

Okay. (groans)

I'm auditioning for Girlfriend Two.

And I am comfortable with the explicit nature of the scene.

(Jess chuckles)

Can I take it again?

(notification bell rings)

(train rumbling)

(people chattering)

(indistinct conversation)

- Happy birthday!

- Oh, what?

I can't believe you.

- Hey! - How are ya?

Aren't you a little old to have the pink hair?

- Yeah, it's for a job.

- Ah, a job?

Did you say a job?

- Yeah, I have jobs, for my show.

- Ah, huh.

- And I almost...

Ah, nevermind.

How's your birthday?

- Good.

Good, darling, darling, look who's here.

- Oh, yes.

Hello, Jess.

- Hello, Irina.

(mellow modern jazz music)

Where's Nathaniel?

- He has his closing argument in the morning.

- Look at this.

(mellow modern jazz music continues)

- Oh. - Happy birthday, Dad.

(phone camera clicks)

- Um...

no cameras, no cell phones, no video.

Hello?

Which in your case means, no life.

(both chuckling)

- Did you tell her?

- I will tell her. - Tell me what?

- We've put an offer down on the house.

- A second house?

- It's upstate.

- Oh, where?

- [Irina] Chappaqua.

- Like a vacation home?

- To live.

- That's like three hours away.

You wanna move upstate?

- We wanna sell the apartment.

- What apartment?

- The one you're living in.

(Jess laughs)

- Yeah.

(notification bell dings)

- Can we back this up a second?

- I need to stop enabling you.

- Enabling me? - Yes.

- Can we table this for later?

- My client is here. - Oh.

- You just need to get a real job

and start paying real rent.

- Yeah, I would love to.

But nobody can reasonably afford to live here

and still pursue their dreams.

- Maybe you need to pursue another dream.

(sighs)

Right?

(tense music)

(train rumbling)

(notification bell dings)

(man speaking indistinctly over PA)

(button buzzes)

(notification bell dings)

(motorcycle engine revs)

(playful piano music)

- [Jess] Toe tango?

What?

(playful piano music continues)

(Jess gasps)

Yikes.

(door buzzes)

- [Kai] Pretend like you really like each other, okay?

Stare into each other's eyes, super lovey dovey.

Feel up each other.

- (sighs) How did I not get into the top 10?

- Oh, who cares?

- Says a girl who makes all her money off Live Hive.

- You're right, I do.

- Sorry, this last thing.

I don't know if I should do this job tomorrow.

Can you come with me?

I need a bodyguard.

- And it's not gonna be sketchy?

- It's outside.

It's a public park, upstate.

I will get our train tickets with the $14

that I made on monetization!

- $14.

Okay, deal.

But only if you film me on the train.

Will you do that?

- Yes.

But if you ditch me again, I'm doing it alone.

And that is dangerous 'cause I could die.

- You could die. Okay.

(traffic humming) (horns honking)

- [Jess] I'm on my way to meet Tom B.

I'm going under the name Lucy Byers,

attractive female writer for erotic thriller

in the vein of Hitchcock.

Live inside the life of my lead female character

to help me write the ending to my film.

Writing experience is a must.

Will pay $1500, $100 cash upon arrival.

Girls only.

Guaranteed 100 bucks.

What do we think, shoes will be staying on or off?

(Jess chuckles)

(car horns honking) (traffic humming)

(suspenseful music)

(notification bell dings)

Kai.

(suspenseful music)

(man speaking indistinctly over PA)

(phone rings)

- [Richard] Jess?

- Yes, Richard.

- Don't call me that.

Are you recording me again?

- No.

- I told you not to record me.

You're violating people's rights without their permission.

What don't you understand about that?

- And you're not?

Because you work for the law, that entitles you

to access hidden cameras and IP addresses

as, what, evidence?

How's that any different? - I can sue you.

Not that you're worth anything.

- Yes, sue me for-- - Jess.

You're driving us away.

- Dad.

- Jess?

Hello?

(phone beeps) Hello?

(Jess sighs)

(suspenseful music)

(message box whooshes) (crow caws)

- Okay, I've arrived.

As you can see, it's quite desolate.

Pointing it, back.

(phone beeps) (Jess groans)

Just gonna have to record you instead.

(dramatic music)

Shit!

- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.

I'm so, I'm so sorry.

- It's okay.

(laughs)

- I'm Tom.

- You're Tom? - Yeah.

- Who were you talking to?

- Oh, nothing.

I'm Je...

Lucy.

- Hi, Je-Lucy.

- (laughs) Lucy, sorry.

- Nice to meet you. - So frazzled.

- Yes, I could tell.

(both laughing)

- Sorry, can you just give me one second?

I just need to finish. - Sure, take your time.

Defrazzle, fine, no problem.

(crow cawing)

- Okay, done. - Cool.

- How are you?

- I'm, oh, I'm better now that I found my co-writer.

Do you wanna talk about the job?

- Sure.

- Cool. - Yeah.

- I'm sorry I startled you. - It's okay.

- I got you.

I'm sorry.

Well, basically...

Are you okay?

- Yeah, what's your accent?

- What do you think it is?

- British?

- Ouch. - It's Australian.

- Thank you, thank you. - Ah.

- It's offensive.

- I'm sorry. - No, that's good.

Well, basically it's all in the ad,

but I really just want somebody to help me

come up with an ending for my film.

- Hitchcock. - That's right.

I've got the grunt of the story work done,

but I just need an ending that does the story justice.

- Okay.

Yeah, I can help you with that.

- Cool.

You have a really good resume.

- Oh, thank you, Tom. - Very good.

You'll have to bear with me 'cause I'm not as good as you.

How did you get into writing?

- Ah, oh, it just kind of happened.

I was working as a writer for the last couple years.

- Cool.

- Before that I was trying to be an actor.

- Oh.

Trying.

- Mm-hmm. - Hmm.

Maybe you can be in this film.

- Maybe? - As an extra.

- Yeah. - If we can...

(both laughing)

- Actually, I'd be a great extra.

- I think you'd kill it.

We can both be extras.

- Glad that you're confident. - Yeah.

- Yeah, how do you, did you want me to write it myself?

- Oh no, I thought we could do it together.

- Okay. - Yeah.

- Okay, yeah.

Thou shall be done.

What was your last name?

- Brady.

Yes.

- Tom Brady. - Yes, Tom Brady.

- With the super soft hands.

- Yes, everybody says that.

Well, everybody who doesn't punch me.

Yeah.

- So sorry to hear that.

Cool.

How do you wanna proceed?

Do you send it to me, what you've written so far?

- Do you have time now?

- To read it? - To work on it.

- Oh.

Ah, oh.

- It'll only take 90 minutes.

So.

- You know that guy? - Where did he come from?

- I have no idea.

- Did your ex follow you all the way from New York City?

- He's taking the break up really hard.

- Yes, huge fall from grace.

Should we get going?

- Yeah, where are you--

- Well, I don't have my script,

so we'll just go to my house, grab it, continue our date.

- Oh yeah, I have time. - As promised.

(ominous music)

- Did you say this was a date?

- I did, but then I paid you money.

- Right. - So.

It's a bit of a weird date.

- It is, isn't it? - Isn't it?

- Okay. - Shall we?

- Yeah, let's do it.

Should I invite my ex?

- Nah, he's busy.

(ominous music continues)

- [Jess] So why a script? (laughs)

Like why not a novel?

- Oh, novels are just a bit passive.

I wanted to...

Well, I came up with this killer concept for a film,

and I thought, well, I want to get it up on its feet,

and really grind it out, you know?

(leaves crunching) (water rushing)

- [Jess] This is way further than I thought.

- [Tom] Would you mind if I smoked?

Just a little bit? - Go for it, I don't care.

- Thank you.

If there is a place to smoke, it's out here.

Look at it, beautiful.

(lighter clicks) (ominous music continues)

Mm.

You want some?

- I don't usually smoke.

- No?

- It makes me paranoid. (Tom laughs)

(animal squawks)

Did you hear that?

You heard that? - I did.

Watch out!

(Tom laughs)

Oh, the man-eating bunnies!

- The man-eating bunnies.

- Well, that was good. - Don't touch me.

How much further we got on this trail?

- Not long.

(ominous music continues)

- Where are we?

Is this where you live?

Wait, you live in a barn?

Oh, boy.

(ominous music continues)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music continues)

Do you like living all the way out here?

- [Tom] I do.

It's nice, it's quiet.

It's private.

Nobody can see you.

Just me and my little purr ball, Milo.

- [Jess] You have a cat?

- No, I don't.

But I want one, I want heaps of 'em.

I got mice.

- Ah.

I have a cat.

You could borrow mine.

- What kind of cat have you got?

- A gray kind.

- Could you untangle this for me?

I spend so long untangling these bloody things.

- Yeah.

I have the same problem.

I probably lose four minutes every day,

which probably amounts to eight years off my life.

(Tom chuckles)

You play piano?

- [Tom] Nope.

(wind howling)

- Do you mind if I play?

- [Tom] Of course, go for it.

I'm just printing the script.

(suspenseful music)

(printer buzzes) (suspenseful music continues)

(printer buzzes)

(suspenseful music continues) (camera hums softly)

(somber piano music)

(somber piano music continues)

You're quite good. - Ah, geez.

- Can I sit here?

Where'd you learn to do that?

- Ah, my mom taught me.

- Huh? - When I was six.

She was an amazing pianist.

- That's an interesting thing to say about your mom.

She was an amazing penis?

Oh.

- That's so ridiculous.

(wind howling)

- You know, you are much prettier than your picture.

- What picture? - The one in your email.

- What?

No way, that's an amazing picture.

- Hmm?

- 1500 likes on it on Facebook.

- Oh, well, wow.

Shouldn't have said anything.

1500 likes on Facebook.

Wow, incredible.

- What's wrong with that picture?

- It's not who you are.

- Because you know who I am.

- I have an idea.

- It's glamorous. - It's phony.

It's phony.

You are not phony.

It diminishes your intelligence.

It looks like your name might be like Kandi with a K.

- Okay.

(Tom laughs)

Get lost.

What do you do for work?

I know you're trying to be a writer,

but what do you do to afford all this?

- I'm a trapeze artist. (chuckles)

- Oh my God.

- One thing you should know about me, Luce,

I like to have fun.

I don't like to take things very seriously.

I don't take my career very seriously.

And I don't take money very seriously.

- Says people with money.

- Would it change your perception of me

if you knew I was rich?

- No. - Aw, that's a shame.

I'm an old romantic.

- Can I use your restroom?

- About that.

(dramatic piano music)

I have an outhouse.

- No, you don't. - I live in a barn.

Sorry.

- (sighs) Who doesn't have a real bathroom?

(leaves crunching)

Are you kidding me with this shit?

(owl hoots) Oh, it's so creepy.

Yuck.

Ah! (groans)

Not going to that.

Oh!

(bell dings)

Hey guys, oh my God.

I'm so sorry, my live feed cut out.

The service out here is super shoddy.

Anyway, I am recording it also.

I'm gonna upload an episode for all of you later tonight.

I'm at...

No, no.

Ah! (phone beeps)

Why?

Crap.

Okay, so back to recording. (phone beeps)

Right there.

So I'm at Tom B's, and we are about to write the script.

I don't know, it seems legit.

Something is definitely off though.

He's also surprisingly good looking.

Oh, I did make 100 bucks.

He actually paid.

Wait, where did I put it?

(suspenseful music)

Ah.

Ah, shit!

(Jess gasps) (Jess groans)

No! (laughs)

(suspenseful music continues)

(sighs)

Kandi with a K.

(loud banging) Jesus!

Holy shit.

(suspenseful music continues)

(owl hoots) (suspenseful music continues)

(toilet flushing)

Oh.

Really? (Tom laughs)

Where's the script?

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- [Jess] Shut up.

- What happened to your hair? - What's your wifi?

- Why is your hair all standing up?

- What's wrong with my hair?

- Your hair's all standing up, isn't it?

- Leave it. - Okay, fine, I'll leave it.

Why?

- Who cares?

I don't kiss on the first date.

- Guess what?

- What?

- Neither do I.

(Jess moans)

(both moaning)

- Okay.

- (clears throat) Sorry.

- That's okay.

Sorry. - Woo!

What?

- You sound like such an American.

- Yeah, well, I guess...

- Oh!

- You're rubbing off on me.

(Jess moans)

It is too bad about our rule, Ms. Byers.

- It is, isn't it? - Mm-hmm.

- Mr. Brady.

What is this?

(piano key striking discordantly)

(sultry music)

You're trouble.

- Oh, I'm trouble? - Mm-hmm.

Where are you going? - I don't wanna trouble you.

- I like when you trouble me.

This is a bad idea.

- Why?

- I just don't want it to get in the way of our writing.

- It could make it more it more fun.

(loud banging) (Tom gasps)

- What the hell is that?

- I don't know.

(suspenseful music)

Will you check that?

I'm just gonna close this.

(suspenseful music continues)

(lock clicks)

(door bangs)

Gotta keep those bunnies out.

(camera buzzes)

Are you okay?

I'm gonna get the script.

- Great.

(fire crackles)

Oh my God.

Get yourself together, Jess.

(Jess sighs)

(water splashes)

(floor creaking)

(Jess gasps) - Ooh, scary.

- Okay, give me.

- So, just a little backstory before you read this.

It's a two-person script.

The main character is fleshed out for the most part.

The secondary character is what I need help with.

I really want this to feel like it's actually happening.

- Okay, excited to read it.

What kind of story is it?

- It's a psychological thriller.

I haven't written any dialogue.

I've been waiting for the right voice clearly.

- You want me to read now or wait till we go somewhere?

- You're cute.

- Okay.

Just 'cause we almost skipped to third base,

doesn't mean that you're off the hook

and don't still owe me a dinner.

- Owe you dinner, really?

- Okay.

"Classified Killer," shocking.

(suspenseful music)

Fade in, exterior park, day.

Jess, 27, is one of those beautiful but interchangeable

American girls.

A bit sure of herself and yet somehow still angry.

She sits consumed by her absent photos,

obsessed with selling herself for clicks,

fixing her hair and pretending

to be far more comfortable in this world.

Tom approaches, an Australian man, tall and charming.

You're Tom?

- [Tom] I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.

I'm so sorry.

(tense piano music)

- [Jess] Do you mind if I play?

Can I use your restroom?

- [Tom] I have an outhouse.

Just gonna close this.

Gotta keep those bunnies out.

(tense music)

- [Jess] If her character dies, she dies.

(tense music continues)

(pages rustling)

(glasses clank)

Cute. - You like it?

I bluffed his age a little bit.

I'm yet to add the bit about almost kissing on the piano.

I thought that was rich.

I think that'll really push the audience

to root for their relationship.

Or at least just wanna see 'em fuck, you know?

What do you think?

- What do I think?

It's three pages.

- To start.

- Right.

Yeah.

- You don't like it?

- [Jess] It's good.

- Ah, you're lying.

- Yeah, well, it's pretty fucking creepy,

but it's interesting.

Should we go?

- What do you think about the title?

I like it 'cause it implies like one of us is the killer.

You know, like one of us kills people.

- Yeah, I got it. - Yeah, but who?

- You clearly. - That's rude, isn't it?

- You wrote, "Jess is trapped in your house."

- His house.

What if, what if it is revealed Jess exposes parts

of herself that makes her out to conclusively be the killer?

Bam!

Completely takes the audience by surprise.

What do you think?

- Fine, Jess is the killer.

You can't have a male killer these days anyway.

- Why?

- It's too predictable.

Man lures woman back to his house and tries to kill her?

Like we haven't seen that a thousand times.

- Huh.

Huh, I hadn't thought of that.

- Of course, you hadn't.

Let's go.

- Before we go, what do you think of the idea

of creating the story through improv?

- Huh?

- I think it would be so much fun to create the ending

through improvisation.

You know, really beat out the second act.

I'll be the main character, you be Jess, huh?

Just get it up on its feet like we've been doing.

You know, I too once dreamed of been an actor.

- Ah, sure, that can work.

Let's improvise in the park. - Stay with me here.

'Cause I really wanna pretend to be these people.

I wanna live inside the heads of these characters.

I think, as far as intentions go,

Tom's intentions are clear. - Are they?

- It's Jess that I've been stuck on.

What does Jess want?

- What does Tom want?

- I can't tell you that, you minx.

How about this?

You come up with your intention,

and then we'll improvise, see how it pans out.

Who survives?

What do you think about that, Jess?

Do you like the name Jess?

- Uh-huh.

- Tom and Jess, it's like Tom and Jerry.

Except I'd never torment you that much.

(tense music)

- Yeah, I need some air.

What?

(tense music continues)

The windows are all boarded?

Why are your windows all boarded?

- It's a barn.

(Jess sighs)

- I need to make a call.

Do you have service?

- Yeah.

- Can I use your phone? - Of course.

Sorry, I'm not freaking you out too much, am I?

- Yeah. - I'm just having fun.

You know, I wrote the script

while you were playing the piano.

Seriously, while you were playing so beautifully,

I just thought, "This is perfect."

I think it would be so much fun to really live

inside these characters' heads.

Just really start to understand them.

While you were playing, I was like, "Oh, yes."

This is like an onion, there are so many layers to unravel.

- I'm like an onion?

What are you?

- I'm like a, like a walnut.

I'm delicious and hard.

(Tom chuckles)

How about this?

You come up with the next part of the script,

I'll give you another 100 bucks?

Great, okay, let's review.

So we've started writing the script.

We've established the female is the killer.

I love that, okay.

We need something big to happen now

'cause I feel like the audience is getting bored.

What do you think, Ms. Byers?

- I don't know. - Oh, come on, I'm paying you.

- Jess turns into a vampire.

(lips blowing)

What, sci-fi thriller, they're all the rage.

- Cute.

How about this?

(dramatic music)

Everything is better when the lights are out.

- [Jess] Holy shit.

Okay, yeah.

You can turn the lights back on now.

- [Tom] Oh, but how are we gonna create the right ambiance?

We're trying to write an award-winning script.

- Yes, super creepy.

Tom, fuck off!

Don't!

At least turn off the music, it's really loud.

(creepy carnival-style music) (Tom shouts)

(Jess screams) No, don't fucking!

(Tom laughs)

- [Tom] Oh, this definitely needs to be in the film.

- Don't, don't! - Woo!

- Don't, please.

Oh, don't please.

- [Tom] Oh, you like it, don't you?

- [Jess] No.

No, I don't.

- [Tom] I feel like you're the kind of person

who likes being scared.

- [Jess] Yeah, what tells you that?

- You've come back to a stranger's house

in the middle of nowhere.

Did you know when a person is scared

they release endorphins.

The same hormones they release when they're aroused.

- [Jess] That's why you wrote a scary movie,

so I'd get aroused by it and sleep with you?

- [Tom] Ah, that is so fucking boring!

My character needs a challenge!

(Tom groans)

- [Jess] Tom, are you okay?

Do not fuck with me about this.

Tom.

(Tom groans)

Tom?

(Tom chokes)

(eerie chiming music)

- Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

You okay?

- Yeah, fine.

I'm fine.

Oh, I fucking hated that.

- I was just having fun.

- Yeah, so fun.

I gotta go.

(shoes clacking)

(camera buzzes)

(suspenseful music)

Maybe we can meet tomorrow.

- I can't tomorrow.

- Next week then.

- Tied up next week.

- Oh, the extra 100 bucks.

For your next bit.

(Tom groans)

(can pops)

- It's all about the money.

(money rustling)

(suspenseful music)

- Thanks.

(suspenseful music) (camera buzzes)

(dramatic music)

You just gonna let me go?

- You gotta get to your cat.

(suspenseful music)

- You didn't even try.

(door closes)

What happened to being an old romantic?

Don't even offer the lady a drink?

- You send a lot of mixed signals.

- Yeah, you like that though?

One drink, then I'll go.

(upbeat funk music)

- Ah, yeah, that is it.

Come on.

Come on.

(funk music continues)

Boom, there it is again.

Downtown.

Come on, dance with me.

Come on.

Let's boogie.

- You're not writing a romantic comedy.

- Shush up.

It's the point of living off the grid.

You can just let loose and be yourself.

Oh, that's it, that's it.

Undo all that, loosen up.

Oh, shh, oh, that's it.

Loosen it up.

Come over here.

Get on it, come on.

Get on it.

- Woo!

(funk music continues)

(lips smacking)

- Okay.

See you tomorrow.

- Yeah, when you wake up in my bed.

- Ah. (laughs)

(funk music continues)

- What, what? - I need...

I need my carrot.

- At least the speakers will survive.

(funk music continues)

- Where are we going?

- Where are we going?

To the bed, baby.

(funk music continues)

(Jess moans)

(Jess moans)

(both moaning) (lips smacking)

(both moaning) (lips smacking)

What is that?

- What, what?

- No.

- Oh my God. - What is this?

- It's just extensions.

- Extensions?

What, like fake hair?

- No, it's not fake hair.

It's real, it's just not my hair.

- You have somebody else's hair on your head?

- No.

Sort of.

Oh my God. - Can you take it out?

- What, now?

- Yeah.

- No, they're-- - Why?

- Oh, they're like woven in.

- (laughs) Oh.

Well, is there anything else on you that isn't real?

(Jess laughs)

(Jess groans)

Maybe like these things, huh?

- Fuck off! - Oh!

What are you gonna do about it?

You know what I want?

I want this.

- Yeah, you do. - I'm hungry for it.

Yes.

Get these going.

(Jess moans)

Get these off. (boot thuds)

- Easy.

- Easy, no.

(boot thuds)

- All right.

- Oh, gosh, what's happening now?

- Oh, shut up.

- Oh, no.

Oh, gosh.

What are you gonna do now?

- Where are your ropes?

- My ropes?

- Yeah, your ropes.

- How did you know I had ropes?

- I saw them in your video, Toe Tango.

- I don't know if I trust you.

- Well, you don't have to trust me, but you will thank me.

- Whew.

All right, take this off.

Take it off.

- Are you lying?

- No.

(hand slaps) (Jess groans)

(dramatic music)

(Tom chuckles)

(dramatic music)

- Got 'em.

- Here?

Oh.

Oh gosh, kinky. - Shh!

- Did you want to tie an actual knot?

Because I'm assuming you want to tie--

- I know how to tie knots, thanks.

- Do you really though because this doesn't--

- Stop talking. - Okay.

Fine.

Oh yeah, get this side.

- Have you ever heard of capture bonding?

It's when people are sexually attracted to their captors.

It's a fetish.

- Hmm.

What about the captor being attracted to the captive?

I bet you're captivated by that.

- Maybe I am.

- Mm, oh gosh.

- [Jess] Do you have any fetishes?

- Do you?

- I ask the questions.

- Okay. (groans)

- This is the part in the script where Tom reveals himself.

- Oh, is that so? - Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh.

If he doesn't,

he will be tortured

by the tickle monster.

- (laughs) No, no, ah!

No!

Ah! (laughs)

- Seriously, you said you wanted to improvise.

Let's play a game.

I'll ask you questions, and if you answer truthfully,

you will be rewarded.

If you lie, you will be punished.

- [Tom] Ah, no, ah!

- You're so ticklish. - Ah!

I like this game.

- Okay, first question.

Is Tom your real name?

- Yes.

- So impatient.

Where's your family?

- Dead.

(Tom groans) - You're lying.

(Tom laughs)

- They're in Australia.

What, do you wanna see my passport?

Foot in mouth!

- Have you ever lured a woman home to have sex with you?

- Oh, of course I have.

I am a human.

But I didn't lure her.

She mutually consented to making love to me,

and she mutually consented to coming.

Toe in mouth now.

(Jess moans) (lips smack)

- Why do you live all the way out here?

- So nobody can hear you.

- I can't tell with you.

- That would ruin the game.

- Where are the scars from?

- Was a...

cooking accident.

(Tom laughs)

No, okay!

Okay, okay!

- You're lying. - Isn't it obvious?

Actually, I don't really know.

- You don't know how you got burned?

- Okay.

Okay, fine, okay! - Stop lying!

(Tom laughs)

- No, no!

Okay, I'll fucking tell you.

When I was five, there was a fire in my house.

And I was there, but I got out.

(suspenseful music)

But my mom died.

- Is that true?

- You tell me.

- God, you're too good at this game.

Hmm.

(suspenseful music continues)

Did you know my mom died?

- No.

- Did you know her name?

- No.

- But you know my cat's name.

- You told me. - I didn't tell you.

- You didn't tell me.

- What else do you know about me?

- I know more about you than you know about you.

(suspenseful music continues)

Can you untie me now? - I'm going home.

- What, now?

- Mm-hmm.

- But, but what about me, how will I survive?

I'm tied up here.

- I'm sure you'll figure it out.

- But you don't know the way home.

- I'll follow the breadcrumbs.

- What if the real killer is out there in the woods?

- I'll take my chances.

Give you some time to reconsider your intentions,

you sick fuck!

- Oh, well that's not very nice.

Wait, are you actually leaving?

- Killer in the woods, I like that.

I'd be careful if I were you, Tom.

We already decided who the real killer is.

(suspenseful music)

- [Tom] Okay!

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

I saw your web series.

Can you blame me?

It's kind of hard to miss,

and you weren't exactly offering any truth.

(suspenseful music continues)

Okay, fine, clearly I'm the antagonist.

(Jess breathing heavily)

Good luck getting out, Barbie Girl.

(dramatic music)

(nervous sigh)

(dramatic music continues)

- No!

Come on.

Ah!

(Jess groans)

(foot bangs)

(suspenseful music continues) (Jess grunts)

- [Tom] Three.

Two.

One.

Here I come.

(dramatic music)

I told you you didn't tie it right.

(lights click)

(piano key striking discordantly)

- [Jess] Don't come any closer.

- [Tom] Or what?

- Or I smash your signal blocker.

Yeah, I know what this is, you lunatic.

(signal blocker cracks)

- [Tom] Shit!

Shit.

(suspenseful music continues)

(thud)

(suspenseful music continues)

(notification bells ding)

- Stop.

(notification bells ding) Stop!

(Jess groans) (phone rings)

- [Richard] What now?

- Dad, I need your help.

- [Richard] Jess.

Jess, I'm not gonna give you another lecture.

So you can put me in another episode.

- No, no, no, no, I'm not messing with you.

I swear.

(Richard's voice crackling over phone)

(phone beeps) No, no, no!

No, come on!

(dramatic music)

(Jess sighs)

Oh, please, I'm begging you.

I'll just, I'll go.

I won't even tell anyone that I was here.

I don't even know anything about you.

I just, I don't wanna die today.

I can't die.

- What if, part of you had to die, in order to live?

- No, no, no.

Tom, stop! (groans)

- Tell me, why shouldn't you die?

Your character I mean?

- Because it's...

It's just another story.

The script, you said it...

- Go on.

- The, the, the char--

Just, you need to change location.

You said you didn't want your audience to get bored.

You can't stay inside a whole film.

- Ah.

No, I do like the idea that you get out.

But where will you go?

- I will go home.

I'll go home.

I'll hide in the woods until I know you can't find me.

I'll be like, I'll be like the protagonist

that's always trying to track you down.

- What if, what if, what if, what if, what if?

What if?

What if you go home, and when you get there,

and I'm already there.

And you go to your window and open it.

And I'll be on the sidewalk across from the organic market.

- Oh goddamn it.

Tom, stop fucking with me!

- You fuck with people all the time!

(Tom laughs)

(Tom sighs)

(doors click)

(suspenseful music)

Good luck on your escape.

Go on.

I'll do the slow walk after you leave.

(leaves crunching) (Jess grunting)

(dramatic music)

(Jess panting)

(light booms) (Jess shouts)

(suspenseful music) (Jess panting)

(Jess groans)

(suspenseful music) (Jess panting)

(phone rings)

(footsteps thudding)

(suspenseful music rising)

(footsteps thudding)

(Jess groans)

- Stop, stop!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.

(Jess groans)

(Jess yells)

(crickets chirping)

(owl hoots)

Beautiful.

You look like Karl Lagerfeld.

Boop.

Okay.

Jess tries escaping into the woods.

Too bad she's too slow because of her enormous ass!

Oh, come on, laugh a little.

All good horrors have comedy.

- So you're pretending to be American now.

- See, this scene, too shaky.

Might need to redo it.

But look, look at this.

This turned out great.

- [Jess] Have you ever heard of capture bonding?

Some people are sexually attracted to their captors.

It's a fetish.

- What about the captor being attracted to the captive?

I bet you're captivated by that?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did you not know I was filming?

Silly me.

I'm not even the expert on hidden cameras.

- Yeah, I knew you were filming,

you misogynistic prick.

- No, misogynists hate women.

I don't hate women.

I just hate you.

Did you know, that I knew, that you were filming me?

Great placement.

I mean, the glasses on the table.

Oh, great, very central.

Oh, and the little pin above the fireplace.

Subtle because people just always take their little pins

and put it above fireplaces.

Really good, genius. (laughs)

- Who was in the woods?

- You know, I actually thought to myself,

if she goes anywhere off the beaten path,

I'm gonna let her go.

Oh, I'm sorry, am I boring you?

- [Jess] How long is this screen test?

- This is great content.

Really good.

(Jess laughs)

(Jess speaking indistinctly)

Stop. (laughs)

[Jess] Okay, okay!

Oh, oh! (moans)

- Are you ready? - To be tortured?

- Hashtag relatable.

(Jess laughs in video)

- [Jess] What is it?

What'd you put on my eyes?

- What'd you put on my eyes?

(Tom mumbles)

- [Jess] Can you take if off my eyes?

Take it off my eyes right not, you son of a bitch!

- Right here.

This.

Flubbed this part, didn't you?

At what point after you realized that Bryan's face

was exposed did you decide to keep the video up?

- I didn't know.

(lips blowing)

- 100% bullshit!

Wasn't that you didn't know, it's just that you didn't care.

What's your password?

- I'm not giving you my password.

- Your password or die.

- F-U-C-K-Y-O-U.

- B-A-R-B-I-E, star, dollar sign, enter.

Let me ask once more.

At what point after you realized that Brian's face

was exposed did you decide to keep the video up?

- I didn't know.

(screaming indistinctly) Oh fuck, ah!

- God, it's really woven in there, isn't it?

Oh.

Oh man, that is hideous.

At what fucking point? - Like 10 minutes after.

- What inspired you?

- (sighs) Somebody commented on my channel

that if I kept the video up,

they would share it with this massive network

connected to their channel.

I wanted to move out of 11th place.

Please.

- Thank you.

The truth, thank you.

My next question is this.

Would you rather stay in 11th place with no harm done

to anybody or move to first

even if it costs somebody everything?

- Number one, the fir--

- Bingo. - No, no harm done.

Oh, no, please, no, please, no! (groans)

Ah, please stop!

(Jess groans) (Tom grunts)

- This is disgusting.

Just tell the truth.

The next part is multiple choice.

Did Bryan, A, hire me to kill you?

B, kill himself?

Or, C, both?

- It was a mistake, I don't...

- Wow.

- It was false advertising.

For a gum commercial, really?

- Your brother and father, Nathaniel and Richard.

Can I call them Nathaniel and Richard?

They're lawyers.

What do you think their stance on this would be?

Or should we ask them?

- Please, no.

- Tick, tock.

Tick, tock. - C, it's C, both.

- Ah.

Brava, ragazza, grazie mille, si.

(lips smacking)

Okay, perfect timing.

God, your followers are gonna love this.

(tense music)

- You got what you wanted, can you let me go?

(tense music continues)

Oh, no.

(tense music continues)

(light hums)

You know the whole tickling thing

is likely a result from trauma.

It's, it's, I've researched it.

It's like a need for power by making others feel small

and under control.

I'm not responsible for that

or any of the twisted shit that people put online.

- Who are you to decide that it is twisted shit?

- I just mean that,

ah, it's their choice to do what they want to do.

I'm only highlighting what they're already doing.

And anyway, they're lying.

They lie in their ads to get away with perverted shit!

- You lie.

You social media stars,

you think the world is all

about your shitty fucking content.

No, this is people's lives.

And Jess, this is your life.

- I lie to help people.

(Tom laughs)

Just like my father.

- Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Shut up!

I am the director, and you are my puppet.

You speak when I say you can speak.

(tense music continues)

I'm gonna go finish writing your speech.

Get ready to be famous.

- Tom, let me out!

(Jess screams)

Help me! (cries)

(Jess screams)

Let me out!

(footsteps tapping)

- [Tom] You wanna rehearse?

(notification bells dinging) (siren wailing)

(notification bells dinging)

(computer beeps)

- I'm Jess Peters, or as you guys know me, J-PEEPS.

- Perfect, okay. - This is the last time--

- [Tom] Sorry, I don't wanna interrupt, I just--

- Yo, Kai.

- [Tom] The other people's hair out of your hair.

- [Jess] Please don't.

- [Tom] Oh God, what's this?

Oh, oh my fucking God.

That came out so easy. - What the fuck?

- [Tom] And I do want to get your eyelashes if we can.

So just behave for me. - What is she doing?

- [Tom] Right now.

- [Friend] She's really committing to this one.

- I should have went with her.

- Dude.

- Take, it off! - Okay.

We're just gonna get it off nice and slow now, okay?

Okay, gotta get the other one now.

God, there it is.

Good God, it's really-- - Who is J-PEEPS?

- You follow her.

- [Tom] Good, that one was, okay, good.

Now. (sighs)

I think we're ready J-PEEPS.

Continue reading.

(Jess sighs)

- I'd like to apologize to you, my loyal followers.

- [Tom] Keep going.

- Because I have betrayed your trust.

- [Tom] Good.

- What I'm about to say may shock you,

but the truth is that I have faked every episode of my show.

- [Tom] Perfect. - It's a little weird.

- Over the past few years, I manufactured situations.

- Dad watches this.

- [Jess] Doctored footage, added audio,

and did my best to deceive you about who I really am.

- [Tom] You bitch.

- In order to make myself seem heroic and likable.

- [Tom] Mm-hmm.

- She's faking this. - Nobody has ever hurt me.

Nobody has taken advantage of me.

- [Tom] Nope.

- I have fabricated all of these abuses,

and my entire show is bullshit.

From now on, do not like, follow or subscribe.

Goodbye.

- [Tom] And end recording.

- Who is this guy?

- What the hell?

- Wow, you really are a bad actress.

Impressive.

Okay.

- [Jess] What are you gonna do with that video?

- Now.

- I don't know if she knows she's being live streamed.

(friend gasps)

- Do you wanna fuck me?

- She's a fetishist now? - Oh, good of you to offer?

- Does Mom know you watch this?

- [Tom] No, okay.

Here we go.

Bam.

Delete.

Yes, delete that.

Bam.

Bam. - On, come on, please.

- Bam.

- Just keep my channel, come on.

- [Tom] Hold on.

And this one should be, yep.

- Why do you have to delete them all?

- [Tom] You have a lot to bargain with.

Be my prisoner, delete. - Why are you doing this?

- Latex leggings, that sounds great, delete.

Deleting this one.

Now this one, this one stays.

I can't wait to be a lead on "Classified Crazies."

It's gonna be amazing. (laughs)

This one delete.

This one I thought we could do together.

Just for old time sake.

(tense music)

Just gotta give me that finger onto the button!

Okay, because we're gonna to do it together.

It's gonna be nice.

Come on.

Get it over there.

Get it over.

(Jess grunts)

- Ah, you bitch! - Oh.

(Jess groans)

- Oh!

Oh my God! (groans)

What are you gonna do?

(Jess grunts)

What are you gonna do? - Come on, Jess, stop.

Don't do that. - What are you gonna do?

What, are you gonna kill me in front of 20,000 people?

Huh?

You see?

We're live.

There are cameras everywhere. (laughs)

- [Friend] This guy is a lunatic.

- [Tom] Live.

Kill me, I dare you.

- Oh my God.

- She won't do it.

- Then you'll really be the killer.

(notification bell dings)

Oh, look.

It's what you've always wanted.

See?

I'm not the only one who likes watching you suffer.

- Fuck you, you piece of shit.

- Oh my God.

Jess, stop!

- [Tom] And cut!

- No, no, no, get it back, come on.

- Guys, get that back up.

- What?

- That is a wrap on the barn.

Beautiful work, people.

- [Crew member] All right guys, let's get out of here.

We gotta get going.

- Yo, that bed was so tight under there,

when you guys were bouncing up and down.

I almost got a concussion.

- [Tom] What about when she reached for the rope?

- She got so close, she almost touched my hand.

Dead ass.

- And what about you, what were you doing in the park?

- Hey man, I was running to Vegas.

- Oh, my God.

Okay, great stuff.

Jess, let's go.

Great work, really special stuff.

Now, money, money, money, money.

You're all about the money.

(crew chattering)

Awesome.

Great work.

(suspenseful music)

(Jess laughs)

(onlookers applaud) (suspenseful music continues)

- Run.

(suspenseful music)

(footsteps thudding)

(train rumbling)

- [Detective] But he didn't physically hurt you?

- No.

Yeah, when he ripped out my hair.

- The hair that wasn't yours.

- Oh my God.

- Did he physically hurt you anywhere else?

- No, not exactly.

- [Detective] That's a straightforward question.

- He hurt me mentally.

- And why did you go to his house

all alone in the woods if you didn't know him?

- It was for a job.

- Which, he paid you for in advance.

- Yeah, like 100 bucks.

- So this is your profession, writing movies?

- No.

- But the screenplay was about you?

- Yeah, sort of.

I mean, we were improvising.

- So when he tied you up, was that improvising?

- No.

- So when did it stop being improvising?

- As soon as he wouldn't let me out of his house.

- He let you out earlier, and you didn't want to go.

- Okay.

Look, I thought he was gonna kill me.

He tied me up in his house and forced me

to give him my passwords and delete personal videos

that I worked on for five years.

Like he clearly set the whole thing up.

- Videos?

Live Hive videos.

(menacing music) (camera buzzes)

So, you're upset because he didn't ask your permission.

Did you ask permission of anyone in your videos?

(menacing music continues)

- [Jess] What if it's still going on?

Oh my god.

What if it's not the end of the movie?

- What movie?

- The movie that we're writing.

The Hitchcock twist ending.

Do you listen to anything that I say?

- Yes, Hitchcock, I got you.

- How did he know my passwords unless he was watching me?

Inside my apartment.

You're gonna say it with me.

- No, I can't get there.

- Okay, so...

(tense music)

He gives me the script and then he lets me out unscathed.

Cut to one month later.

This is the climax of the movie.

We're in the climax of the movie.

(car horns honk)

(tense music continues)

(pedestrians shouting) (siren wailing)

Thank you.

(car alarm blares)

(suspenseful music)

Okay.

(buttons click)

- [Recorded Announcement] Door open.

(door bangs closed)

(suspenseful music continues)

(door creaks)

(door bangs)

(baby cries)

(keys jangle)

Squeakers?

(door closes)

Squeakers!

Oh, hey, little guy.

(cat meows)

Oh my God.

What are you doing, you scared me.

Ah.

(tense music)

(dramatic music)

(Jess gasps)

(loud ringing)

Hello?

Yeah, who is it?

Hello. (phone rings)

(dramatic music) (door buzzing)

(tense music)

(lock clicks)

(dramatic music) (Jess gasps)

(masked person laughs)

(masked person laughs)

(package thuds)

(masked person laughs)

(lock creaks slowly)

(lock clicks)

(tense music)

(eerie music)

(toy laughing maniacally)

(eerie carnival music)

(door slams)

(static buzzes)

(foreboding synth music)

(computer keys click) (computer buzzes)

(computer keys click)

(computer buzzes)

(computer keys click)

(computer buzzes) (Jess sighs)

(dramatic music)

B-A-R-B-I-E.

(computer key clicks) (computer hums)

(computer beeps)

We are the Collective.

(computer beeps)

(computer buzzes)

(foreboding music)

(static buzzes)

(masked figure laughs)

(tense music)

And there's Tom.

(tense music continues)

In production.

(screen whooshes)

(button clicks)

Fuck!

Oh, come on!

(button clicks)

What?

(Tom laughs)

- [Tom] Take it off.

- [Jess] Are you lying?

- No.

(hand slaps)

I am the director and you are my puppet.

You speak when I...

(Jess gasps)

- Oh.

Oh, fuck.

(tense music)

(dramatic music) (Jess moans)

(Jess cries) (dramatic music continues)

(notification bell dings)

(camera buzzes)

Oh my God.

(static buzzes)

(eerie carnival music) (Jess groans)

(doorknob rattles)

Oh God.

What do you want from me?

Stop watching me, you sick fucks!

(static buzzes) (Jess groans)

(suspenseful music)

Oh geez, don't hurt Squeakers.

Please don't hurt Squeakers.

(masked figure laughs)

[Jess] (laughs) You're so fucked up.

You're all so fucked up.

(screen buzzes)

Continue your movie.

Stay the star if you can stay alive?

(suspenseful music)

End your movie, become the director, cast the next star.

(bell dings) Oh, Kai.

(suspenseful music continues) (bell dings)

(tape rips)

(suspenseful music rises) (bell dings)

(computer key clicks)

(pop rock music)

♪ Whoo-ooh, ooh-ooh, whoo-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Whoo-ooh, ooh-ooh, whoo-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Whoo-ooh, ooh-ooh, whoo-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Whoo-ooh, ooh-ooh, whoo-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

(pop rock music continues)

♪ Like wildfire smoke filling up the sky ♪

♪ You pull me and my walls inside ♪

♪ I breathe and I choke, it's burning up my eyes ♪

♪ How your image does agonize ♪

♪ So far from your place and it's making me crazy ♪

♪ Put the fire out, you're sweating me to drown ♪

♪ I watch for your taste ♪

♪ Nothing less will do to save me, save me ♪

♪ Save me ♪

♪ Whoo-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ I'm the fan to your flame ♪

♪ A sucker for the burn, begging you for my turn ♪

♪ Ohh, you tease when I shame ♪

♪ You play me like a toy, paper fan to your flame ♪

♪ Sitting at this desk, my head is a mess ♪

♪ Scrolling through your page instead what I should address ♪

♪ I got so much goddamn work to do ♪

♪ But all I'm thinking 'bout is how I'm gonna work on you ♪

♪ The openness of your eyes it send away me ♪

♪ Save me ♪

♪ Waste me ♪

♪ I'm the fan to your flame ♪

♪ A sucker for the burn, begging you for my turn ♪

♪ Oh, you tease when I shame ♪

♪ You play me like a toy, paper fan to your flame ♪

♪ Oh, the wind of your change ♪

♪ Coming for you fast, soon to blow your heart away ♪

♪ So deprived and deranged ♪

♪ How I'm falling in love as your fan to flame ♪

♪ Everybody wants to turn their hose on you ♪

♪ And I'd gladly watch if it meant I have you ♪

♪ But what's a fire that cannot breathe ♪

♪ It's this ache inside of me ♪

♪ So let me flurry in ♪

♪ Together we'll rise above the trees ♪

♪ Whoo-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ I'm the fan to your flame ♪

♪ A sucker for the burn, begging you for my turn ♪

♪ Oh, you tease when I shame ♪

♪ You play me like a toy, paper fan to your flame ♪

♪ I'm the fan to your flame ♪

♪ A sucker for the burn ♪

♪ Such a sucker for you, baby ♪

♪ Oh, you tease when I shame ♪

♪ How you tease and you please and you make me wanna scream ♪

♪ I'm the wind of your change ♪

♪ I'm gonna blow ya, I'm gonna blow ya away ♪

♪ So deprived and deranged ♪

♪ How I'm falling in love as your fan to flame ♪

♪ How I'm falling in love as your fan to flame ♪

♪ How I'm falling in love as your fan to flame ♪