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1
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{\an8}
2
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I can't just manifest
a tree topper.
3
00:00:59,378 --> 00:01:03,047
Okay. Okay.
You don't need to give every
example of what you can't do.
4
00:01:03,048 --> 00:01:04,816
Why is this stuff so important?
5
00:01:04,817 --> 00:01:06,184
Because!
6
00:01:06,185 --> 00:01:07,953
It's been a hard year.
7
00:01:08,487 --> 00:01:10,455
The move, a new school.
8
00:01:10,456 --> 00:01:13,124
I mean, God, I just want it
to be special for Liam.
9
00:01:13,125 --> 00:01:17,895
I get it. I just don't know
where the tree topper is, okay?
10
00:01:17,896 --> 00:01:21,833
I can't magically make a box
with a-a star appear.
11
00:01:21,834 --> 00:01:24,569
And for the tenth time,
it's not a star,
it's an angel.
12
00:01:24,570 --> 00:01:26,904
Oh, an angel.
Yes, it's an angel.
13
00:01:26,905 --> 00:01:28,439
Okay.
And every year,
14
00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,374
it sits
on top of the tree, okay?
15
00:01:30,375 --> 00:01:33,177
And it looks down upon us
like it's a guardian angel.
16
00:01:33,178 --> 00:01:35,546
Oh.
A guardian angel.
Yeah.
17
00:01:35,547 --> 00:01:37,782
Well, maybe
we need a new one anyway.
18
00:01:37,783 --> 00:01:40,552
The old one wasn't doing
that great of a job, was it?
19
00:01:42,454 --> 00:01:43,589
Wow.
20
00:01:58,070 --> 00:02:00,805
Okay, so it's just vanished.
It's completely gone.
21
00:02:00,806 --> 00:02:02,173
Missing in action.
22
00:02:02,174 --> 00:02:04,976
For once in your life,
can you just let it go?
23
00:02:04,977 --> 00:02:06,210
Yeah.
For once?
24
00:02:06,211 --> 00:02:07,812
Can you do that?
Yes, I can
25
00:02:07,813 --> 00:02:09,914
when you admit
that you screwed up, okay?
How about that?
26
00:02:09,915 --> 00:02:13,251
Oh, I get it.
As long as I take the blame
for every little thing that ha--
27
00:02:13,252 --> 00:02:14,553
Hey, guys.
28
00:02:15,621 --> 00:02:18,222
Wow! It looks amazing in here.
29
00:02:18,223 --> 00:02:20,491
Thank you, honey.
Thank you.
30
00:02:20,492 --> 00:02:21,826
I was just looking for...
31
00:02:21,827 --> 00:02:23,728
...for the tree topper
that your father lost,
32
00:02:23,729 --> 00:02:26,297
and I just got a little bit
of tinsel in my eye.
Unbelievable.
33
00:02:26,298 --> 00:02:27,965
But I'm not crying,
because everything is great.
34
00:02:27,966 --> 00:02:30,134
We're gonna have
a great Christmas.
35
00:02:30,135 --> 00:02:32,236
Tree toppers?
Come on, Mom.
36
00:02:32,237 --> 00:02:37,241
Christmas isn't about
tree toppers and ornaments
and all that stupid stuff.
37
00:02:37,242 --> 00:02:42,281
It's about togetherness
and music and...
38
00:02:43,415 --> 00:02:45,082
Hey, guess what
I was doing upstairs.
39
00:02:45,083 --> 00:02:46,284
What were you
doing upstairs?
40
00:02:46,285 --> 00:02:48,085
Writing my letter to Santa.
41
00:02:48,086 --> 00:02:49,987
Really? You were?
Mm-hmm.
42
00:02:49,988 --> 00:02:51,489
Letter to Santa?
43
00:02:51,490 --> 00:02:53,925
Aren't you getting
a little too old for that?
44
00:02:53,926 --> 00:02:58,362
Oh, no, no.
What-What your dad means
is just that sometimes,
45
00:02:58,363 --> 00:03:02,767
Santa is too busy responding
to letters
from all of the little kids
46
00:03:02,768 --> 00:03:05,870
that then he doesn't always
have the time to respond to
the letters
47
00:03:05,871 --> 00:03:07,138
from the big kids too.
48
00:03:07,139 --> 00:03:09,240
No, that's not at all
what I meant.
49
00:03:09,241 --> 00:03:10,742
Bill, just...
50
00:03:11,710 --> 00:03:13,411
I've always written
letters to Santa.
51
00:03:13,412 --> 00:03:15,680
How else will he know
what I want for Christmas?
52
00:03:15,681 --> 00:03:17,214
Exactly, honey.
53
00:03:17,215 --> 00:03:19,183
I think
it's absolutely wonderful.
54
00:03:19,184 --> 00:03:20,585
Not all of us are a scrooge.
55
00:03:20,586 --> 00:03:23,721
No, I--
I'm not a scrooge.
56
00:03:23,722 --> 00:03:24,890
I just...
57
00:03:26,491 --> 00:03:30,328
Look, I know how hard it is
being the new kid in town.
58
00:03:30,329 --> 00:03:34,231
And as it is, school presents
challenges for you
because of your learning dis--
59
00:03:34,232 --> 00:03:35,634
Differences.
60
00:03:36,335 --> 00:03:38,135
Learning differences.
61
00:03:38,136 --> 00:03:40,271
Right, learning differences.
62
00:03:40,272 --> 00:03:45,176
Which is good,
but even more reason
not to write certain letters.
63
00:03:45,177 --> 00:03:47,912
Because that way,
when you go to meet
other sixth-graders
64
00:03:47,913 --> 00:03:48,980
and try to make friends,
65
00:03:48,981 --> 00:03:50,582
you won't get, uh...
66
00:03:52,117 --> 00:03:53,117
beaten up.
67
00:03:54,486 --> 00:03:58,255
What are you saying?
I have a friend-- friends.
68
00:03:58,256 --> 00:04:00,524
Really?
Well, I didn't know that.
69
00:04:00,525 --> 00:04:03,227
Mom, I've been at that school
for, like, three months.
70
00:04:03,228 --> 00:04:04,663
Why wouldn't I have friends?
71
00:04:05,397 --> 00:04:07,132
Just because of
social distancing.
72
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,267
Come on, Mom.
That ended two years ago.
73
00:04:10,268 --> 00:04:12,136
And I do have friends.
74
00:04:12,137 --> 00:04:15,039
My friend Gibby's
about one of
the most popular kids in school.
75
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,408
We play football at recess
and everything.
76
00:04:17,409 --> 00:04:18,710
Play football?
77
00:04:19,211 --> 00:04:21,045
Yeah.
78
00:04:21,046 --> 00:04:22,514
That's what I just said.
79
00:04:22,948 --> 00:04:24,248
Nice.
80
00:04:24,249 --> 00:04:25,316
Gibby!
81
00:04:25,317 --> 00:04:26,384
Ow.
82
00:04:26,385 --> 00:04:29,621
Gibby! Gibby!
83
00:04:30,222 --> 00:04:31,956
I'm so proud of you.
84
00:04:31,957 --> 00:04:33,924
Why'd you tell them
we play football?
85
00:04:33,925 --> 00:04:35,860
We don't even have
a football team.
86
00:04:35,861 --> 00:04:37,395
We're 11.
87
00:04:37,396 --> 00:04:41,332
I didn't say we were on a team.
I just said we played at recess.
88
00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:43,435
What kind of football
do we play?
89
00:04:44,469 --> 00:04:47,872
Flag football, I guess.
90
00:04:47,873 --> 00:04:50,341
Plus, they're not gonna
waterboard us about this.
91
00:04:50,342 --> 00:04:51,709
You don't know that.
92
00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:53,879
Parents can be weird.
They like to know stuff.
93
00:04:54,579 --> 00:04:56,648
What position
should I say I play?
94
00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,918
You're the kicker.
95
00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:03,587
Am I like the guy
who kicks it real high
96
00:05:03,588 --> 00:05:07,059
or the guy who tries to
get the ball
through the things?
97
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:09,860
The field goal kicker.
98
00:05:09,861 --> 00:05:13,098
Okay, cool. You know the game,
so we won't get tripped up.
99
00:05:14,366 --> 00:05:16,367
Oh, and one more thing.
100
00:05:16,368 --> 00:05:19,870
I also told them
you have cancer.
101
00:05:19,871 --> 00:05:21,740
What? Why?
102
00:05:22,641 --> 00:05:24,475
My parents know
I don't make friends easily,
103
00:05:24,476 --> 00:05:27,812
so to make it real,
104
00:05:27,813 --> 00:05:30,381
I told them I was nice
to a kid with cancer
105
00:05:30,382 --> 00:05:32,216
and he was nice to me back.
106
00:05:32,217 --> 00:05:34,018
But we are friends.
107
00:05:34,019 --> 00:05:36,455
Why'd you have to
make anything up?
108
00:05:37,789 --> 00:05:40,092
Hindsight is twenty-twenty.
109
00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:46,964
{\an8}The point is,
if you meet my parents,
110
00:05:46,965 --> 00:05:49,701
{\an8}just make sure
you act a little cancer-y.
111
00:05:50,302 --> 00:05:51,536
{\an8}Will do.
112
00:05:53,338 --> 00:05:55,272
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
113
00:05:55,273 --> 00:05:56,874
Hold your horses, hotshot.
114
00:05:56,875 --> 00:05:59,043
What do you think you're doing?
115
00:05:59,044 --> 00:06:00,644
Um, crossing the street?
116
00:06:00,645 --> 00:06:03,148
I'll tell you
when you can cross the street.
117
00:06:03,782 --> 00:06:05,249
But there are no cars.
118
00:06:05,250 --> 00:06:07,151
When did you finish
119
00:06:07,152 --> 00:06:10,988
your two-hour
crossing guard
certification course?
120
00:06:10,989 --> 00:06:12,289
I didn't.
121
00:06:12,290 --> 00:06:14,258
Oh, that's right.
122
00:06:14,259 --> 00:06:15,626
That was me.
123
00:06:15,627 --> 00:06:18,697
So I'll tell you
when there are no cars.
124
00:06:28,273 --> 00:06:30,709
Go. Go ahead.
125
00:06:31,643 --> 00:06:33,377
Mr. "I'm In A Hurry At First."
126
00:06:33,378 --> 00:06:35,713
Where'd he go? Bring him back.
127
00:06:35,714 --> 00:06:37,915
Good morning, ladies.
Hello.
128
00:06:37,916 --> 00:06:39,550
Hi.
Hello.
129
00:06:44,523 --> 00:06:45,656
There she is.
130
00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:08,612
Legit question.
131
00:07:08,613 --> 00:07:11,950
Why are you staring
at someone you cannot get?
132
00:07:12,884 --> 00:07:15,286
What, Emma?
We have a ton in common.
133
00:07:15,287 --> 00:07:16,588
Like?
134
00:07:17,689 --> 00:07:19,557
We both like cats.
135
00:07:19,558 --> 00:07:21,225
That's a ton?
136
00:07:21,226 --> 00:07:23,427
We can build off that.
137
00:07:23,428 --> 00:07:25,229
What's so great
about her anyway?
138
00:07:25,230 --> 00:07:27,264
You only like her
'cause she's pretty.
139
00:07:27,265 --> 00:07:28,899
What? No.
140
00:07:28,900 --> 00:07:32,169
I like her
'cause whenever I look at her,
she smiles.
141
00:07:32,170 --> 00:07:35,472
Big deal. Smiling's easy
when you have nice teeth.
142
00:07:35,473 --> 00:07:37,608
And she's kind.
143
00:07:37,609 --> 00:07:39,811
People that pretty
are usually mean.
144
00:07:40,312 --> 00:07:41,445
Yeah, I guess.
145
00:07:41,446 --> 00:07:43,582
She does have a lot of friends.
146
00:07:47,252 --> 00:07:48,285
Pray for me.
147
00:07:48,286 --> 00:07:50,621
No. Liam. Get-- Abort!
148
00:07:58,930 --> 00:08:01,166
I like the cat stickers
on your locker.
149
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:02,533
Thank you.
150
00:08:02,534 --> 00:08:04,836
My cat licks her nipples.
151
00:08:06,037 --> 00:08:07,838
Well, that's pretty random.
152
00:08:07,839 --> 00:08:09,773
Yeah, that was pretty random.
153
00:08:09,774 --> 00:08:12,142
Um, by the way,
do you like Post Malone?
154
00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:13,577
Love him.
155
00:08:13,578 --> 00:08:15,379
Don't you remember
when Mr. Charles asked me
156
00:08:15,380 --> 00:08:18,549
to name
my favorite piece of writing,
and I said "Congratulations"?
157
00:08:18,550 --> 00:08:23,721
Yeah. Well, he's in town
doing a concert.
Maybe we could--
158
00:08:23,722 --> 00:08:25,089
What's up, E?
159
00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:26,090
Hey, Aiden.
160
00:08:26,091 --> 00:08:27,726
How are you?
Good.
161
00:08:28,793 --> 00:08:30,561
Whoa.
Uh...
162
00:08:30,562 --> 00:08:31,896
What do you think you're doing?
163
00:08:31,897 --> 00:08:33,998
Oh, nothing really.
I was actually just...
164
00:08:33,999 --> 00:08:35,733
You trying to hit on my girl?
165
00:08:35,734 --> 00:08:37,569
Aiden, stop that.
166
00:08:38,436 --> 00:08:40,371
Well, were you?
No, no, no, no.
167
00:08:40,372 --> 00:08:44,341
No. No. I was just trying to
tell her about my cat's nipples.
168
00:08:44,342 --> 00:08:47,311
Your cat's nipple--
Bro, what are you talking about?
169
00:08:47,312 --> 00:08:49,281
And other stuff.
170
00:08:50,048 --> 00:08:52,516
Uh, tootles.
171
00:08:52,517 --> 00:08:53,784
Uh...
172
00:08:53,785 --> 00:08:57,722
I never say tootles,
just FYI.
173
00:08:58,456 --> 00:09:00,025
That was my first time.
174
00:09:01,192 --> 00:09:02,227
Okay.
175
00:09:04,162 --> 00:09:05,263
Darn it!
176
00:09:07,632 --> 00:09:09,000
How'd it go?
177
00:09:10,669 --> 00:09:13,038
I might have to
change schools again.
178
00:09:14,005 --> 00:09:18,309
My pupils,
focus your pupils on me
179
00:09:18,310 --> 00:09:21,312
as I mold your malleable minds.
180
00:09:21,313 --> 00:09:25,883
As I massage the clay
that is your cerebellum.
181
00:09:25,884 --> 00:09:30,988
Today, my friends,
we discuss A Christmas Carol.
182
00:09:30,989 --> 00:09:35,259
Perhaps the most overrated
of Charles Dickens's books.
183
00:09:35,260 --> 00:09:40,264
And I must say, it certainly
missed my "great expectations."
184
00:09:40,265 --> 00:09:41,932
Now, when I read the book,
185
00:09:41,933 --> 00:09:45,536
I felt like I was being visited
by the ghost of Christmas past.
186
00:09:45,537 --> 00:09:47,172
Hard pass for me.
187
00:09:49,607 --> 00:09:51,108
Liam.
188
00:09:51,109 --> 00:09:53,811
I'd be curious why you find
the young lady's hair
189
00:09:53,812 --> 00:09:55,846
more captivating
than my lecture.
190
00:09:55,847 --> 00:09:59,249
No, I wasn't--
I wasn't staring
at Emma's shiny hair.
191
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,452
Oh?
192
00:10:01,386 --> 00:10:05,023
Then what part of her
were you staring at?
193
00:10:07,225 --> 00:10:08,459
Arm.
194
00:10:09,828 --> 00:10:11,328
But I was also listening to you.
195
00:10:11,329 --> 00:10:14,765
Is that right?
So you're able to ogle her arm
196
00:10:14,766 --> 00:10:16,800
and listen to me
at the same time?
197
00:10:16,801 --> 00:10:18,402
Yeah, it's--
it's not that hard.
198
00:10:19,671 --> 00:10:22,740
Now, Liam,
if you're so hyperaware,
199
00:10:22,741 --> 00:10:26,044
maybe you can tell me
what book I am discussing.
200
00:10:29,714 --> 00:10:31,115
"Carol's Christmas"?
201
00:10:33,218 --> 00:10:34,651
Gotcha.
202
00:10:34,652 --> 00:10:36,688
Now pay attention.
203
00:10:37,555 --> 00:10:39,023
Demerit.
204
00:10:39,024 --> 00:10:40,724
"Carol's Christmas."
205
00:10:40,725 --> 00:10:43,394
Written by the great author,
Dickens Charles.
206
00:10:45,563 --> 00:10:49,134
Hey! You don't make fun of
dyslexia. Not cool.
207
00:10:50,535 --> 00:10:53,704
Oh, and by the way,
Einstein had dyslexia too.
208
00:10:53,705 --> 00:10:55,340
The bagel guy?
209
00:10:56,341 --> 00:10:57,942
No. No, the other one.
210
00:11:01,146 --> 00:11:03,313
You see the way
Emma stood up for me?
211
00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:05,216
Maybe she likes me too.
212
00:11:07,185 --> 00:11:09,953
Liam, you're right
about Emma being awesome.
213
00:11:09,954 --> 00:11:14,625
But she's not gonna be
interested in you unless
you pull it together, man.
214
00:11:14,626 --> 00:11:16,126
Attempt to be cool.
215
00:11:16,127 --> 00:11:18,329
Maybe you're right.
216
00:11:19,397 --> 00:11:22,233
All right, I gotta go.
I gotta mail a letter to Santa.
217
00:11:22,867 --> 00:11:24,468
What?
Letter to Santa?
218
00:11:24,469 --> 00:11:28,172
This is exactly
the kind of crap
I'm talking about.
219
00:11:28,173 --> 00:11:31,108
What are you doing
writing letters to Santa?
220
00:11:32,310 --> 00:11:35,646
Look, I know.
I know he's probably not real.
221
00:11:35,647 --> 00:11:38,082
But let's just say
there's, like,
a 1% chance he is
222
00:11:38,083 --> 00:11:39,716
and there's something
you really want.
223
00:11:39,717 --> 00:11:43,220
What possible harm
could there be
to write a stupid letter?
224
00:11:43,221 --> 00:11:45,056
Okay, I guess.
225
00:11:46,491 --> 00:11:51,628
And the big reason
I write it
is for my mom.
226
00:11:51,629 --> 00:11:54,031
What?
She wants stuff from Santa too?
227
00:11:54,032 --> 00:11:54,999
No.
228
00:11:56,234 --> 00:11:59,536
Nobody in this world
loves Christmas
more than my mom.
229
00:11:59,537 --> 00:12:01,139
Or did, anyway.
230
00:12:02,140 --> 00:12:05,810
I just think
me writing the letter
makes her happy.
231
00:12:06,945 --> 00:12:08,846
I like it better
when she's happy.
232
00:12:08,847 --> 00:12:10,881
Okay, okay, whatever.
233
00:12:10,882 --> 00:12:13,784
Just keep that letter thing
under wraps.
234
00:12:13,785 --> 00:12:18,455
If the kids at school
ever found out about this,
you'd be destroyed.
235
00:12:18,456 --> 00:12:21,558
Destroyed.
You're not gonna
tell anyone, right?
236
00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:24,862
Good God, no.
How do you think
it would make me look
237
00:12:24,863 --> 00:12:27,098
that my bestie
still believes in Santa?
238
00:12:27,899 --> 00:12:29,267
I'm your bestie?
239
00:12:30,835 --> 00:12:32,070
Yeah.
240
00:12:33,872 --> 00:12:35,073
Hey, Gibby...
241
00:12:36,474 --> 00:12:38,408
Remember I told you
we moved out here
242
00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:41,913
because I was supposed to be
in the witness protection
program?
243
00:12:42,514 --> 00:12:43,948
Yeah?
244
00:12:44,682 --> 00:12:47,185
Well, that wasn't true.
245
00:12:48,853 --> 00:12:52,089
Some bad stuff--
246
00:12:52,090 --> 00:12:54,258
bad stuff happened
back where we used to live.
247
00:12:54,259 --> 00:12:57,027
There was an accident,
and that was right before--
248
00:12:57,028 --> 00:12:59,563
Hey, hey. Have you ever had
the Impossible Burger lasagna?
249
00:12:59,564 --> 00:13:01,064
What?
Have you ever had it?
250
00:13:01,065 --> 00:13:03,100
I haven't,
but I hear it's really good.
251
00:13:03,101 --> 00:13:06,303
Come on, Gibby.
I was about to
tell you something huge.
252
00:13:06,304 --> 00:13:08,573
Yeah, that's why
I made small talk.
253
00:13:09,607 --> 00:13:12,177
I'm really bad
with that serious crap.
254
00:13:13,711 --> 00:13:15,113
Yeah, me too.
255
00:13:24,389 --> 00:13:26,890
Thanks for letting me
come with you
to mail your letter.
256
00:13:26,891 --> 00:13:28,393
It's more fun this way.
257
00:13:29,594 --> 00:13:32,229
Hey, I see the town's putting on
a big Christmas carnival
this week.
258
00:13:32,230 --> 00:13:34,464
Maybe you and I
can go to that.
259
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:35,866
Uh...
260
00:13:35,867 --> 00:13:37,769
Yeah, Mom. Maybe.
261
00:13:38,836 --> 00:13:41,705
A lot of kids from my class
are gonna be there and...
262
00:13:41,706 --> 00:13:42,873
Oh.
263
00:13:42,874 --> 00:13:44,576
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
264
00:13:55,820 --> 00:13:58,189
Come on, baby.
Let's go. Come on.
265
00:14:00,959 --> 00:14:02,527
To Santa.
266
00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:13,504
Care of the North Pole.
267
00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:50,540
Huh.
268
00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:53,077
Well, you don't see this
very often.
269
00:14:55,647 --> 00:14:58,282
But why do you
always have to cut me off?
270
00:14:58,283 --> 00:15:00,784
Are you kidding me?
You're always cutting me off.
271
00:15:00,785 --> 00:15:04,554
After everything
he's been through, I worry
about his mental well-being.
272
00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:08,258
Can we not turn this into
a therapy session?
273
00:15:08,259 --> 00:15:10,727
Okay, if believing in Santa
makes him happy,
274
00:15:10,728 --> 00:15:12,929
what right do you have
to say that he can't?
275
00:15:12,930 --> 00:15:15,766
Oh, come on.
Don't make me the bad guy.
276
00:15:15,767 --> 00:15:18,101
I wish there was a Santa.
277
00:15:18,102 --> 00:15:20,437
Because then I'd have a pony.
278
00:15:20,438 --> 00:15:23,073
'Cause that's what I asked for
every year when I was a kid.
279
00:15:23,074 --> 00:15:26,511
That's why you're mad?
You never got a pony.
280
00:15:27,245 --> 00:15:29,346
Knock it off.
281
00:15:29,347 --> 00:15:32,015
You said
you were gonna talk to him.
And I will.
282
00:15:32,016 --> 00:15:34,185
When?
I don't know. Soon.
283
00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:58,676
Blitzen, is that you?
284
00:16:00,845 --> 00:16:02,513
Use the litter box.
285
00:16:07,952 --> 00:16:09,786
That's putrid.
286
00:16:09,787 --> 00:16:11,356
Thank you.
287
00:16:12,423 --> 00:16:14,292
Who was that?
288
00:16:19,831 --> 00:16:21,699
Who are you? What do you want?
289
00:16:23,534 --> 00:16:25,737
What do you mean what do I want?
It's me.
290
00:16:26,204 --> 00:16:27,204
Who?
291
00:16:27,205 --> 00:16:29,140
Me. I got your letter.
292
00:16:29,707 --> 00:16:30,774
What letter?
293
00:16:30,775 --> 00:16:32,342
The letter you sent me.
294
00:16:32,343 --> 00:16:34,111
I never sent you a letter.
295
00:16:34,112 --> 00:16:36,381
What do you call this,
fudge nuts?
296
00:16:38,983 --> 00:16:42,353
You had a list in there
asking for all sorts of
stupid crap.
297
00:16:44,288 --> 00:16:47,124
So you mean you're S--
298
00:16:47,125 --> 00:16:48,825
In the naughty flesh.
299
00:16:48,826 --> 00:16:52,362
Hey, I really want to thank you
for writing me, Liam.
300
00:16:52,363 --> 00:16:54,498
What an unexpected treat.
301
00:16:54,499 --> 00:16:55,766
Unexpected?
302
00:16:55,767 --> 00:16:59,970
Very. Guess how many letters
I get from kids a year.
303
00:16:59,971 --> 00:17:01,605
I'm not a guesser.
304
00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:02,707
Guess!
305
00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:05,376
Seventy-one million?
306
00:17:06,377 --> 00:17:09,180
Seventy-one million? Uh, no.
307
00:17:09,714 --> 00:17:10,714
How many?
308
00:17:10,715 --> 00:17:12,649
None.
309
00:17:12,650 --> 00:17:13,717
What?
310
00:17:13,718 --> 00:17:15,385
Sure, I get a few manifestos
in the mail
311
00:17:15,386 --> 00:17:17,220
from some wonderfully deranged
grown-ups, but--
312
00:17:17,221 --> 00:17:18,555
What is going on here?
313
00:17:18,556 --> 00:17:21,124
This is insane.
You don't exist.
314
00:17:21,125 --> 00:17:25,630
Really? Do you usually write
letters to people
who don't exist?
315
00:17:26,597 --> 00:17:29,399
You're just--
You're not what I expected.
316
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,134
What'd you expect?
317
00:17:31,135 --> 00:17:34,805
Well, for one thing,
I thought you'd be
a little jollier.
318
00:17:34,806 --> 00:17:37,809
Jollier?
Who the hell's jolly these days?
319
00:17:38,743 --> 00:17:39,743
Fair point.
320
00:17:39,744 --> 00:17:41,011
But your suit is different.
321
00:17:41,012 --> 00:17:42,747
And your beard
doesn't look the same.
322
00:17:43,347 --> 00:17:44,781
But I guess you are, um,
323
00:17:44,782 --> 00:17:46,249
chunky enough.
324
00:17:46,250 --> 00:17:49,453
Wow, you went there.
325
00:17:49,454 --> 00:17:53,089
What, you don't put on
a few extra pounds
over the holidays?
326
00:17:53,090 --> 00:17:55,725
I guess.
Besides, who said I was chunky?
327
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:57,828
That's how they make you look
in the movies.
328
00:17:57,829 --> 00:17:59,596
Yeah, figures.
329
00:17:59,597 --> 00:18:02,032
If you're not a perfect size two
in Hollywood, they demonize you.
330
00:18:02,033 --> 00:18:07,605
And in the movies,
the reindeer usually have
the antlers, not you.
331
00:18:08,806 --> 00:18:10,173
Reindeer?
332
00:18:10,174 --> 00:18:11,508
Kid, are you high?
333
00:18:11,509 --> 00:18:13,444
Let me see that letter again.
334
00:18:14,812 --> 00:18:15,847
Give it.
335
00:18:20,885 --> 00:18:22,652
Oh, boy.
336
00:18:22,653 --> 00:18:27,424
Um, you wouldn't happen to
have trouble spelling,
would you?
337
00:18:27,425 --> 00:18:28,693
Yes.
338
00:18:29,894 --> 00:18:30,894
Sometimes.
339
00:18:30,895 --> 00:18:32,562
Ooh.
340
00:18:32,563 --> 00:18:34,731
Wait, how do I know
you're actually Santa
341
00:18:34,732 --> 00:18:36,766
and you're not
just messing with me?
342
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,236
Check this out.
343
00:18:40,571 --> 00:18:42,874
Ho, ho, frickin' ho.
344
00:18:44,542 --> 00:18:45,842
No way!
345
00:18:45,843 --> 00:18:47,110
Yeah way.
346
00:18:47,111 --> 00:18:48,746
Where's my milk and cookies?
347
00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:52,182
Usually I only do the outfit
on Christmas Day.
348
00:18:52,183 --> 00:18:53,885
Gotta keep a low profile.
349
00:18:55,987 --> 00:18:57,388
And I'm back!
350
00:18:58,422 --> 00:18:59,923
I don't believe this!
351
00:18:59,924 --> 00:19:01,124
Right? Good stuff.
352
00:19:01,125 --> 00:19:02,926
Okay,
enough of the party tricks.
353
00:19:02,927 --> 00:19:05,595
Down to biz.
I'm here to offer you a deal.
354
00:19:05,596 --> 00:19:07,297
A deal?
355
00:19:07,298 --> 00:19:11,001
Isn't the deal I'm good,
I write you a letter,
you get me stuff?
356
00:19:11,002 --> 00:19:13,637
The letter thing's
a total myth.
Fake news.
357
00:19:13,638 --> 00:19:16,873
You, my friend,
are getting wishes.
Three wishes.
358
00:19:16,874 --> 00:19:18,308
Three wishes?
359
00:19:18,309 --> 00:19:20,278
What, you mean like a genie?
360
00:19:20,878 --> 00:19:22,412
They stole that from me.
361
00:19:22,413 --> 00:19:24,047
Wait,
so there really are genies?
362
00:19:24,048 --> 00:19:27,218
Sorry, I can't discuss it.
It's under "litigaysh."
363
00:19:27,685 --> 00:19:28,653
Okay, ready?
364
00:19:29,153 --> 00:19:30,221
Wish time.
365
00:19:31,422 --> 00:19:35,158
Are you telling me
I can wish for anything
in the whole wide world?
366
00:19:35,159 --> 00:19:37,527
Yeah. I mean, within reason.
367
00:19:37,528 --> 00:19:40,330
I can't undo the War of 1812.
368
00:19:40,331 --> 00:19:42,266
What's the War of 1812?
369
00:19:42,967 --> 00:19:45,402
It was a war. In 1812.
370
00:19:45,403 --> 00:19:47,470
Look, the point is
I can't change history.
371
00:19:47,471 --> 00:19:49,940
But anything you want
moving forward,
I can deliver.
372
00:19:49,941 --> 00:19:51,508
So, come on, make a wish.
373
00:19:51,509 --> 00:19:53,910
Well, I mean,
there's a lot I could wish for
374
00:19:53,911 --> 00:19:56,681
and I wasn't expecting this,
so I'm trying to think.
375
00:19:57,415 --> 00:19:59,849
World peace, climate change.
376
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:02,752
Geez, childhood hunger is
a big problem right now.
377
00:20:02,753 --> 00:20:05,288
Are you kidding me with this?
You don't have a wish ready?
378
00:20:05,289 --> 00:20:08,758
I mean, you read my letter.
Shouldn't you already know
what I want?
379
00:20:08,759 --> 00:20:09,993
Okay, you got me.
380
00:20:09,994 --> 00:20:11,895
I didn't read the whole thing.
It was boring.
381
00:20:11,896 --> 00:20:14,331
Besides, what's with
all this Goody Two-shoes stuff?
382
00:20:14,332 --> 00:20:16,466
I can give you
anything you want.
383
00:20:16,467 --> 00:20:19,469
How about a dirt bike?
A yacht.
384
00:20:19,470 --> 00:20:21,137
I could get you a helicopter.
385
00:20:21,138 --> 00:20:23,073
What about your personal life?
386
00:20:23,074 --> 00:20:24,775
A girl?
387
00:20:25,343 --> 00:20:26,711
Is there a girl you like?
388
00:20:27,178 --> 00:20:29,313
Yeah. Emma.
389
00:20:30,948 --> 00:20:33,116
I do kind of wish
she'd give me a chance.
390
00:20:33,117 --> 00:20:34,818
Boom! Done!
391
00:20:34,819 --> 00:20:37,087
She's gonna give you a chance.
That's one wish, two to go.
392
00:20:37,088 --> 00:20:38,956
See you tomorrow.
Wait!
393
00:20:39,824 --> 00:20:40,790
That's it?
394
00:20:40,791 --> 00:20:42,025
That's it.
395
00:20:42,026 --> 00:20:44,362
How do I know my wish
is actually gonna come true?
396
00:20:45,096 --> 00:20:46,262
Really?
397
00:20:46,263 --> 00:20:48,098
The whirling around
and costume change
398
00:20:48,099 --> 00:20:49,299
didn't convince you?
399
00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:50,601
How about this?
400
00:20:52,436 --> 00:20:54,170
I've already seen that one.
401
00:20:54,171 --> 00:20:57,441
Okay. Have you seen this?
402
00:21:02,813 --> 00:21:03,848
Booyah!
403
00:21:05,616 --> 00:21:06,884
Huh?
404
00:21:07,652 --> 00:21:09,320
Santa's the shit!
405
00:21:11,689 --> 00:21:12,489
Sold.
406
00:21:12,490 --> 00:21:15,393
Yeah.
407
00:21:16,761 --> 00:21:18,429
Catch you on the flip-flop.
408
00:21:26,070 --> 00:21:27,370
Mom, wake up.
409
00:21:27,371 --> 00:21:29,407
Mom. Wake up.
410
00:21:30,007 --> 00:21:31,941
Hey. Is everything okay?
411
00:21:31,942 --> 00:21:33,543
Yeah, yeah.
Everything's great.
412
00:21:33,544 --> 00:21:36,646
I have amazing news, Mom.
Santa came to my room.
413
00:21:36,647 --> 00:21:37,847
What?
414
00:21:37,848 --> 00:21:40,583
Santa. He got my letter,
and he came to my room.
415
00:21:40,584 --> 00:21:42,619
You were dreaming.
Just go back to bed, honey.
416
00:21:42,620 --> 00:21:44,154
No, Mom. I'm wide awake.
417
00:21:44,155 --> 00:21:46,890
Here's the letter I sent him.
He gave it back to me.
418
00:21:46,891 --> 00:21:49,794
And he made Blitzen speak.
In English.
419
00:21:50,327 --> 00:21:51,928
Go back to sleep, honey.
420
00:21:51,929 --> 00:21:54,799
What, do you not believe me?
How would I have
the letter back?
421
00:21:56,033 --> 00:22:00,303
I don't know. I mean,
maybe you just forgot to
put it in the mailbox.
422
00:22:00,304 --> 00:22:01,806
No, I didn't--
423
00:22:02,907 --> 00:22:03,907
Where's Dad?
424
00:22:03,908 --> 00:22:06,977
Oh, he--
he's sleeping on the couch.
425
00:22:07,678 --> 00:22:08,411
Why?
426
00:22:08,412 --> 00:22:10,613
Uh, just because, you know,
427
00:22:10,614 --> 00:22:13,083
his back has been
hurting him lately.
428
00:22:13,084 --> 00:22:15,251
Should we wake him up
and tell him the good news?
429
00:22:15,252 --> 00:22:20,758
No, no. Your father
has work tomorrow,
so we should just let him rest.
430
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,127
Isn't it great though?
431
00:22:24,128 --> 00:22:25,996
Santa Claus is real!
432
00:22:26,764 --> 00:22:28,599
Good night, Mom. Love you.
433
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:30,434
Love you too.
434
00:22:32,937 --> 00:22:34,105
Huh.
435
00:22:46,317 --> 00:22:48,017
What the hell did you expect?
436
00:22:48,018 --> 00:22:50,687
You said you'd talk to him,
and then you keep
putting it off.
437
00:22:50,688 --> 00:22:52,990
It's not an easy thing
to just say to a kid.
438
00:22:53,624 --> 00:22:55,425
Actually, he's not a kid.
439
00:22:55,426 --> 00:22:58,461
And look what happened now.
He's having dreams
he thinks are real.
440
00:22:58,462 --> 00:23:01,432
Oh. Really gonna
lay that one on me too?
441
00:23:02,500 --> 00:23:04,434
What do you mean "too"?
442
00:23:04,435 --> 00:23:06,970
♪ Santa Claus
Is coming to town ♪
You know what I mean.
443
00:23:06,971 --> 00:23:12,408
♪ Santa Claus
Is coming to town ♪
444
00:23:12,409 --> 00:23:16,279
Morning, honey.
I got your lunch
and a snack in here, okay?
445
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:17,747
Thanks.
446
00:23:17,748 --> 00:23:20,083
Hey, Dad. Did Mom tell you
what happened last night?
447
00:23:20,084 --> 00:23:21,852
She, uh, mentioned it.
448
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:24,021
Isn't it incredible?
449
00:23:25,022 --> 00:23:27,957
Santa Claus,
right here in our house.
450
00:23:27,958 --> 00:23:30,193
He is a little different
than you think though.
451
00:23:30,194 --> 00:23:31,795
Yeah.
452
00:23:31,796 --> 00:23:34,464
Must've been some dream,
huh, kiddo?
453
00:23:34,465 --> 00:23:39,870
What? It wasn't a dream.
I mean, it was as real
as real can be.
454
00:23:40,638 --> 00:23:42,839
All right. See you guys later.
455
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,642
Have a good day.
Go get 'em.
456
00:23:45,643 --> 00:23:49,380
♪ Deck the halls
With boughs of holly ♪
457
00:23:53,551 --> 00:23:55,486
Yeah, okay, we got a problem.
458
00:23:56,554 --> 00:23:58,221
They're gonna stuff him
in a locker.
459
00:23:58,222 --> 00:23:59,523
Stop.
460
00:24:04,094 --> 00:24:05,028
Hey, buddy.
461
00:24:05,029 --> 00:24:06,930
Everybody,
please check to make sure
462
00:24:06,931 --> 00:24:10,066
that your animal
has plenty of food and water
463
00:24:10,067 --> 00:24:12,736
and is showing
no signs of distress.
464
00:24:16,707 --> 00:24:18,943
Hey, little buddy.
You doing okay?
465
00:24:32,423 --> 00:24:35,825
Psst. Yo, Señor Scaredy-cat.
466
00:24:35,826 --> 00:24:38,461
Down here. It's me, Santa.
467
00:24:38,462 --> 00:24:41,098
What are you waiting for?
Go make a move!
468
00:24:41,765 --> 00:24:43,900
H-How did you get so small?
469
00:24:43,901 --> 00:24:46,836
What do you mean "how"?
I can do stuff, remember?
470
00:24:46,837 --> 00:24:48,771
Now get over there
and talk to Emma.
471
00:24:48,772 --> 00:24:51,741
But I can't.
I don't know what to do.
472
00:24:51,742 --> 00:24:54,644
Are you kidding me right now?
Hey!
473
00:24:54,645 --> 00:24:58,147
Mind your manners.
It's off-limits, buster.
474
00:24:58,148 --> 00:25:01,985
Kid, you wished for her
to give you a chance.
This is it.
475
00:25:01,986 --> 00:25:05,121
You just have to go talk to her.
Take it to the next level.
476
00:25:05,122 --> 00:25:06,556
But what do I say?
477
00:25:06,557 --> 00:25:07,957
Ask her on a date.
478
00:25:07,958 --> 00:25:10,761
No. Kids don't do that anymore.
479
00:25:11,228 --> 00:25:12,263
Liam?
480
00:25:13,764 --> 00:25:14,898
Everything okay?
481
00:25:14,899 --> 00:25:17,067
Yeah,
everything's, uh, great.
482
00:25:19,003 --> 00:25:20,603
Get over there, you chicken!
483
00:25:20,604 --> 00:25:23,573
But... I'll talk to her later.
484
00:25:23,574 --> 00:25:24,908
Maybe in the hallway.
485
00:25:24,909 --> 00:25:26,809
If you don't get over there
right now,
486
00:25:26,810 --> 00:25:28,411
I'm gonna sic this hamster
on you.
487
00:25:28,412 --> 00:25:31,014
Yeah, I'm gonna have him
jump out of this cage
488
00:25:31,015 --> 00:25:32,916
and maul you
with his tiny teeth and claws
489
00:25:32,917 --> 00:25:35,351
until your own mother
doesn't recognize you.
490
00:25:35,352 --> 00:25:37,020
You'll never live it down.
491
00:25:37,021 --> 00:25:39,322
You'll be the kid
who barely survived
a hamster attack.
492
00:25:39,323 --> 00:25:40,690
Is that what you want?
493
00:25:40,691 --> 00:25:43,426
I'm not afraid of
a cute, little hamster.
494
00:25:44,528 --> 00:25:46,396
I'm going.
495
00:25:49,366 --> 00:25:51,501
Hey, Emma.
496
00:25:51,502 --> 00:25:54,971
L-Liam. Hi. Hey. How are you?
497
00:25:54,972 --> 00:25:58,107
Stupid question.
You're probably great.
Just ignore that.
498
00:25:58,108 --> 00:25:59,442
No, I'm fine.
499
00:26:00,844 --> 00:26:03,546
Anyway, uh,
I came over here to ask
500
00:26:03,547 --> 00:26:06,716
if you wanted to
hang out sometime. Soon.
501
00:26:06,717 --> 00:26:08,418
Me with you?
502
00:26:08,419 --> 00:26:10,853
Yes. Definitely.
Where? When?
503
00:26:10,854 --> 00:26:14,725
Uh, maybe we could go to
that Post Malone concert?
504
00:26:15,826 --> 00:26:18,929
Or-- Or-- Or not. Uh...
505
00:26:21,899 --> 00:26:23,433
What are you doing?
506
00:26:23,434 --> 00:26:26,536
I don't know. I panicked.
It scared me to be that brave.
507
00:26:26,537 --> 00:26:27,971
Go with it, buddy.
508
00:26:27,972 --> 00:26:29,672
You wanna go to
the Posty concert,
you got it.
509
00:26:29,673 --> 00:26:31,307
Now sell it!
510
00:26:31,308 --> 00:26:33,544
Really?
Yes!
511
00:26:37,881 --> 00:26:40,049
Hi again.
Hi.
512
00:26:40,050 --> 00:26:43,953
Liam, I don't know
if you were being serious.
513
00:26:43,954 --> 00:26:46,089
Like, were you kidding?
514
00:26:46,090 --> 00:26:49,625
If you don't wanna take me,
I get it. That's okay.
515
00:26:49,626 --> 00:26:51,260
No, no, I was being serious.
516
00:26:51,261 --> 00:26:55,431
I just didn't know
if your boyfriend would--
517
00:26:55,432 --> 00:26:57,000
That won't be a problem.
518
00:26:57,001 --> 00:26:59,602
I broke up with Aiden anyways.
519
00:26:59,603 --> 00:27:02,373
Sometimes he wasn't that nice.
520
00:27:03,507 --> 00:27:04,575
Okay. Uh...
521
00:27:05,209 --> 00:27:08,112
Uh, I'll text you the details.
522
00:27:08,612 --> 00:27:10,047
Great.
523
00:27:11,215 --> 00:27:12,349
Tootles!
524
00:27:14,051 --> 00:27:17,855
I never say "tootles" either,
just-- just FYI.
525
00:27:18,389 --> 00:27:20,290
That was my first time.
526
00:27:27,898 --> 00:27:30,167
Sue me, I'm thirsty.
527
00:27:35,139 --> 00:27:37,874
You're going to see
Post Malone with Emma?
528
00:27:37,875 --> 00:27:40,510
Yeah, and that's not even
the craziest part.
529
00:27:40,511 --> 00:27:43,379
You won't believe
what happened last night.
530
00:27:43,380 --> 00:27:47,350
I'm pretty sure you going to
Post Malone with Emma
is the craziest part.
531
00:27:47,351 --> 00:27:50,486
You'd think so,
but Santa came to my room
last night!
532
00:27:50,487 --> 00:27:52,422
Santa came to your room?
533
00:27:52,423 --> 00:27:53,856
I swear.
534
00:27:53,857 --> 00:27:55,892
But he didn't look like Santa.
He had antlers.
535
00:27:55,893 --> 00:27:59,529
But then he looked like Santa,
but he explained
he didn't walk around like that,
536
00:27:59,530 --> 00:28:00,997
except on Christmas.
537
00:28:00,998 --> 00:28:02,899
That had to be your imagination.
538
00:28:02,900 --> 00:28:04,734
If it was my imagination,
539
00:28:04,735 --> 00:28:06,936
then how do you explain him
being in the cage
with my hamster
540
00:28:06,937 --> 00:28:08,504
during science class?
541
00:28:08,505 --> 00:28:12,141
Santa Claus was in the cage
with your hamster?
Uh-huh.
542
00:28:12,142 --> 00:28:15,878
You must've been having
some weird dreams last night.
543
00:28:15,879 --> 00:28:17,880
But the hamster thing
happened today.
544
00:28:17,881 --> 00:28:19,282
Whatever.
545
00:28:19,283 --> 00:28:22,453
Night dreams, daydreams,
they can seem real.
546
00:28:23,921 --> 00:28:25,322
Look! There he is.
547
00:28:26,356 --> 00:28:27,357
Where?
548
00:28:27,858 --> 00:28:29,692
On the bench.
549
00:28:29,693 --> 00:28:31,160
Where on the bench?
550
00:28:31,161 --> 00:28:33,964
The only guy on the bench.
551
00:28:34,598 --> 00:28:36,132
That's Santa?
552
00:28:36,133 --> 00:28:39,302
Yeah. Yeah, he's the one
who brought me my letter back.
553
00:28:39,303 --> 00:28:40,269
Wanna meet him?
554
00:28:40,270 --> 00:28:42,172
Uh, that's gonna be a hard pass.
555
00:28:42,940 --> 00:28:45,776
Liam.
Look who you addressed that to.
556
00:28:46,677 --> 00:28:47,810
Santa? So?
557
00:28:47,811 --> 00:28:50,680
Look at it again.
Take your time.
558
00:28:51,849 --> 00:28:55,218
Satan. Oh, my God.
559
00:28:55,219 --> 00:28:57,753
Well, at least it somehow
still got to Santa.
560
00:28:57,754 --> 00:28:59,056
Did it?
561
00:28:59,823 --> 00:29:01,891
Are you saying... No.
562
00:29:01,892 --> 00:29:03,626
That can't be the devil.
There is no devil.
563
00:29:03,627 --> 00:29:06,095
There's no devil,
but there's a Santa Claus?
564
00:29:06,096 --> 00:29:08,365
Come on, man. Pick a lane.
565
00:29:09,233 --> 00:29:10,467
See you later, alligator.
566
00:29:11,335 --> 00:29:12,336
What the--
567
00:29:12,903 --> 00:29:13,903
Hey, Liam!
568
00:29:13,904 --> 00:29:16,639
There you are. Come over here.
569
00:29:18,342 --> 00:29:21,145
Come on.
What are you waiting for?
We're burning daylight.
570
00:29:21,645 --> 00:29:22,945
Get over here!
571
00:29:22,946 --> 00:29:24,814
What's with
the tiny, slow steps?
572
00:29:24,815 --> 00:29:27,084
Let's pick up the pace. Come on.
573
00:29:28,185 --> 00:29:29,519
What's your deal, kid?
574
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:30,753
First, you send me a letter,
575
00:29:30,754 --> 00:29:32,421
and then I make
your dreams come true,
576
00:29:32,422 --> 00:29:34,557
and then you avoid me like
I'm the frickin' Easter Bunny?
577
00:29:34,558 --> 00:29:38,094
Sorry, I didn't see you
over there on the bench
where you were sitting.
578
00:29:38,095 --> 00:29:39,996
Um, can I ask you
a question?
579
00:29:39,997 --> 00:29:42,499
Does Pinocchio poop pinecones?
580
00:29:43,133 --> 00:29:45,535
My God! You are Satan.
581
00:29:45,536 --> 00:29:47,136
No, I'm not.
582
00:29:47,137 --> 00:29:49,071
Come on, turd breath,
we've already been through this.
583
00:29:49,072 --> 00:29:51,407
I'm your friend, Santy Claus.
584
00:29:51,408 --> 00:29:53,476
Turd breath?
585
00:29:53,477 --> 00:29:54,877
Does my breath stink?
586
00:29:54,878 --> 00:29:57,513
No, I was just saying that
to make you feel bad.
587
00:29:57,514 --> 00:30:01,150
Okay, okay.
I'm Satan. You got me.
588
00:30:01,151 --> 00:30:02,852
Now quit being a baby.
589
00:30:02,853 --> 00:30:06,055
You lucked out big time,
dumbass.
I'm way better than Santa.
590
00:30:06,056 --> 00:30:08,090
How?
Come on, think about it.
591
00:30:08,091 --> 00:30:10,159
What do you want
under the Christmas tree?
592
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:12,528
A pair of itchy socks
that Grandma knitted you?
593
00:30:12,529 --> 00:30:15,999
Or anything in the world
your little selfish heart
desires?
594
00:30:16,967 --> 00:30:19,002
Oh, look, it's a dove.
Is it?
595
00:30:21,939 --> 00:30:24,575
Oh, God. Oh, God.
I can't move.
596
00:30:27,911 --> 00:30:29,579
If you touch me,
I'll scream.
597
00:30:29,580 --> 00:30:32,481
Why would I touch you?
I'm the devil,
not a trusted relative.
598
00:30:32,482 --> 00:30:35,851
Sorry.
That was low-hanging fruit.
599
00:30:35,852 --> 00:30:39,856
By the way, we got a lot of
those creepy uncle types
down where I'm from.
600
00:30:42,292 --> 00:30:43,759
All right?
601
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:46,295
Come on.
Now, just relax, kid.
602
00:30:46,296 --> 00:30:49,398
You and I
are gonna do a lot better
if we work together.
603
00:30:49,399 --> 00:30:51,234
I'm not comfortable with this.
604
00:30:51,235 --> 00:30:55,605
I don't wanna be seen talking to
some weird guy with horns.
605
00:30:55,606 --> 00:30:58,442
Okay, is it the horns
that bother you?
Watch this.
606
00:31:01,578 --> 00:31:02,913
All gone.
607
00:31:04,548 --> 00:31:08,084
Sir, since I was clearly writing
to Santa and not to you,
608
00:31:08,085 --> 00:31:12,255
maybe we can just forget
about all this
and you can go on your way.
609
00:31:12,256 --> 00:31:15,091
Not that easy, buddy boy.
You already made
your first wish,
610
00:31:15,092 --> 00:31:17,260
and that means
we have a deal in progress.
611
00:31:17,261 --> 00:31:21,264
There's no getting out of
this thing until
all three wishes are used up.
612
00:31:21,265 --> 00:31:24,101
By the way, check your phone.
613
00:31:29,439 --> 00:31:31,108
Oh, my God!
614
00:31:34,144 --> 00:31:36,078
That's it? OMG?
615
00:31:36,079 --> 00:31:37,380
Where's my thank-you?
616
00:31:37,381 --> 00:31:38,948
You can't get better tickets
than that.
617
00:31:38,949 --> 00:31:40,983
That's where Mama Posty sits.
618
00:31:40,984 --> 00:31:46,222
But I didn't ask for tickets.
I wished for Emma to like me.
619
00:31:46,223 --> 00:31:49,492
Nope. Technically,
you wished for her to
give you a chance.
620
00:31:49,493 --> 00:31:51,627
What's the difference?
Big difference.
621
00:31:51,628 --> 00:31:54,063
She's gonna give you a chance.
That's all.
You can still screw it up.
622
00:31:54,064 --> 00:31:57,266
But to give your chance
a chance, I threw in
those tickets as a freebie,
623
00:31:57,267 --> 00:32:00,704
'cause let's face it,
your game's a little weak.
624
00:32:01,538 --> 00:32:05,341
Sir,
I'm going to politely decline.
625
00:32:05,342 --> 00:32:08,445
You can have those tickets back.
Scalp 'em if you want.
626
00:32:09,246 --> 00:32:11,147
I wanna call off our deal
entirely.
627
00:32:11,148 --> 00:32:14,817
I told you, you can't.
You summoned me.
628
00:32:14,818 --> 00:32:16,352
No, I summoned Santa.
629
00:32:16,353 --> 00:32:19,388
Nope.
Pretty sure you wrote "Satan."
630
00:32:19,389 --> 00:32:20,623
S-A-T-A-N.
631
00:32:20,624 --> 00:32:22,158
It was a mistake.
632
00:32:22,159 --> 00:32:23,392
There are no mistakes.
633
00:32:23,393 --> 00:32:25,828
Everything happens for a reason.
634
00:32:25,829 --> 00:32:27,196
Just ask your God.
635
00:32:27,197 --> 00:32:29,098
This didn't happen for a reason.
636
00:32:29,099 --> 00:32:31,000
It was a total typo.
637
00:32:31,001 --> 00:32:32,468
I have learning differences.
638
00:32:33,437 --> 00:32:35,204
Everyone's a victim these days.
639
00:32:35,205 --> 00:32:39,008
OCD, ADD, L-M-N-O-P.
Blah, blah, blah.
640
00:32:39,009 --> 00:32:41,377
When I was a kid,
they'd slap you
in the back of the head
641
00:32:41,378 --> 00:32:42,813
and tell you to suck it up.
642
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:44,481
You were a kid?
643
00:32:45,082 --> 00:32:46,650
I don't wanna talk about it.
644
00:32:48,452 --> 00:32:50,586
Liam, you're looking
at this thing all wrong.
645
00:32:50,587 --> 00:32:54,056
The way I see it,
there's some good news
and some other news.
646
00:32:54,057 --> 00:32:56,692
The good news is
you've got two more wishes.
647
00:32:56,693 --> 00:32:57,860
That's pretty amazing.
648
00:32:57,861 --> 00:32:58,994
And the other news?
649
00:32:58,995 --> 00:33:00,329
Huh?
650
00:33:00,330 --> 00:33:02,631
You said
there was other news.
Oh, right.
651
00:33:02,632 --> 00:33:05,635
After you make two more wishes,
I'm taking your soul.
652
00:33:06,203 --> 00:33:07,703
What? Are you insane?
653
00:33:07,704 --> 00:33:10,239
I prefer "sanity adjacent."
654
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:12,975
Well, what if I don't make
the other two wishes?
655
00:33:12,976 --> 00:33:15,010
You will.
What if I don't?
656
00:33:15,011 --> 00:33:17,980
Uh, trust me, you will.
And if I don't?
657
00:33:17,981 --> 00:33:20,249
If you do not make three wishes,
658
00:33:20,250 --> 00:33:22,451
technically,
I cannot take your soul.
659
00:33:22,452 --> 00:33:23,552
But you will.
660
00:33:23,553 --> 00:33:25,955
Here.
See that cloud over there?
661
00:33:25,956 --> 00:33:29,091
Let me show you
a few of the things
I could do for you.
662
00:33:35,332 --> 00:33:36,399
Yeah!
663
00:33:40,370 --> 00:33:42,038
Oh, yeah!
664
00:33:43,173 --> 00:33:45,108
He's going over the top!
665
00:33:57,454 --> 00:33:59,455
Come on.
Pedal to the metal. Come on!
666
00:34:06,163 --> 00:34:07,730
All right. Let's go, kid.
667
00:34:18,742 --> 00:34:19,775
You see that, kid?
668
00:34:19,776 --> 00:34:22,545
You ain't never had
a friend like me.
669
00:34:22,546 --> 00:34:24,847
Okay, that I may have stolen
from Aladdin.
670
00:34:24,848 --> 00:34:26,750
Now we're even.
671
00:34:27,584 --> 00:34:30,186
Liam, you got the world
by the oysters.
672
00:34:30,187 --> 00:34:32,721
I don't really like oysters.
673
00:34:32,722 --> 00:34:35,525
I think I'm going to
politely pass on your offer.
674
00:34:36,593 --> 00:34:37,960
What's the matter with you?
675
00:34:37,961 --> 00:34:39,361
I don't know.
676
00:34:39,362 --> 00:34:41,797
I mean,
these are all nice ideas.
I just...
677
00:34:41,798 --> 00:34:43,933
I kinda don't wanna
give up my soul.
678
00:34:43,934 --> 00:34:45,668
On your left!
679
00:34:45,669 --> 00:34:48,772
Son of a... gun.
680
00:34:52,476 --> 00:34:54,443
Liam, do you know this man?
681
00:34:54,444 --> 00:34:56,111
Yeah, I'm his uncle. Beat it.
682
00:34:56,112 --> 00:34:57,813
Uh...
683
00:34:57,814 --> 00:34:59,316
Is this true, Liam?
684
00:34:59,950 --> 00:35:01,451
Yes. Yes, it is.
685
00:35:02,052 --> 00:35:04,253
Huh. Well, then.
686
00:35:04,254 --> 00:35:09,124
Maybe you can suggest to
your nephew to stop being
so inattentive in class.
687
00:35:09,125 --> 00:35:10,694
It's causing disruptions.
688
00:35:12,028 --> 00:35:14,830
How's that again?
I wasn't really paying attention
to anything you just said.
689
00:35:14,831 --> 00:35:18,501
I was saying young Liam here
has a bad habit of being in--
690
00:35:20,003 --> 00:35:21,871
Very funny, wise guy.
691
00:35:21,872 --> 00:35:25,007
Can you really blame him though?
You're pretty damn boring,
you know.
692
00:35:25,008 --> 00:35:27,009
Excuse me.
693
00:35:27,010 --> 00:35:30,079
Who do you think you are,
talking to me like that?
694
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:31,614
Here we go.
695
00:35:31,615 --> 00:35:34,783
Dressed like you're in
some apocalyptic biker gang,
696
00:35:34,784 --> 00:35:36,118
with your dead carcass.
697
00:35:36,119 --> 00:35:40,189
Now, I will not tolerate
obscene language directed at me.
698
00:35:40,190 --> 00:35:43,225
Ooh.
699
00:35:43,226 --> 00:35:44,461
Oh, my.
700
00:35:45,061 --> 00:35:46,061
Dear me.
701
00:35:46,062 --> 00:35:47,997
That doesn't sound right.
702
00:35:47,998 --> 00:35:50,533
I hope you're not getting
that stomach bug
that's been going around.
703
00:35:50,534 --> 00:35:52,201
Sir, I am the picture of health.
704
00:35:52,202 --> 00:35:53,836
Ooh.
705
00:35:53,837 --> 00:35:54,937
Oh!
706
00:35:56,273 --> 00:35:57,840
Pardon me. Kombucha.
707
00:35:57,841 --> 00:36:02,044
I hope it's not IBS.
Sometimes that can be unruly.
708
00:36:04,347 --> 00:36:05,814
Gentlemen, excuse me.
709
00:36:05,815 --> 00:36:09,218
It seems nature is calling,
and I intend to answer.
710
00:36:09,219 --> 00:36:11,554
Ooh.
711
00:36:11,555 --> 00:36:15,391
Oh, my. I've never heard
such a spirited bout
of flatulence.
712
00:36:19,262 --> 00:36:20,497
Watch this.
713
00:36:20,931 --> 00:36:21,797
Lock.
714
00:36:22,766 --> 00:36:25,401
No! No! Please! Let me in!
715
00:36:25,402 --> 00:36:26,602
I need a toilette.
716
00:36:26,603 --> 00:36:28,704
My kingdom for a toilette.
717
00:36:28,705 --> 00:36:31,307
Did you know every time
a grown man sharts himself,
718
00:36:31,308 --> 00:36:33,276
a demon earns its horns?
719
00:36:34,077 --> 00:36:35,177
It's true.
720
00:36:35,178 --> 00:36:37,846
Oh! No! Tummy tum.
721
00:36:39,015 --> 00:36:41,450
Never trust a fart.
You just gambled and lost.
722
00:36:43,386 --> 00:36:45,688
I apologize.
But it appears...
Oh, no.
723
00:36:45,689 --> 00:36:49,358
Something's come out-- come up--
and I have to run.
724
00:36:49,359 --> 00:36:51,461
So now, I will just m...
725
00:36:53,697 --> 00:36:55,832
I will just mount
my trusty steed.
726
00:37:00,003 --> 00:37:03,974
Gentlemen... tallyho!
727
00:37:07,978 --> 00:37:09,345
Nice to meet ya!
728
00:37:09,346 --> 00:37:11,815
The pleasure was mine!
729
00:37:18,188 --> 00:37:19,922
Let's look at the bright side.
730
00:37:19,923 --> 00:37:22,691
The first two wishes
are freebies, right?
731
00:37:22,692 --> 00:37:25,094
He only gets your soul
after the third?
732
00:37:25,095 --> 00:37:26,562
Yeah, but--
733
00:37:26,563 --> 00:37:29,131
And you can tap out
at any time before then. Right?
734
00:37:29,132 --> 00:37:33,168
Well, yeah, technically. But I--
Well, then what's the problem?
735
00:37:33,169 --> 00:37:36,905
Look, I'm worried Satan
is going to trick me
into making more wishes.
736
00:37:36,906 --> 00:37:38,073
He's pretty clever.
737
00:37:38,074 --> 00:37:40,442
He pretty much tricked me
into the first one.
738
00:37:40,443 --> 00:37:42,511
Yeah,
that's classic Satan stuff.
739
00:37:42,512 --> 00:37:44,681
But I think you'll be fine.
740
00:37:45,415 --> 00:37:47,149
Like, you're strong.
741
00:37:47,150 --> 00:37:49,986
You're not gonna make
any more wishes
if you don't want to.
742
00:37:51,354 --> 00:37:55,290
That's what I thought.
But Satan said
I definitely would.
743
00:37:55,291 --> 00:37:58,060
Don't worry about
what Satan said.
744
00:37:58,061 --> 00:37:59,829
You're the nicest kid I know.
745
00:38:00,330 --> 00:38:01,731
Thanks, Gibby.
746
00:38:02,198 --> 00:38:03,633
All right.
747
00:38:04,567 --> 00:38:06,201
I gotta go convince my parents
748
00:38:06,202 --> 00:38:08,071
into letting me go to
this concert.
749
00:38:08,905 --> 00:38:11,073
That's gonna be a tough one.
750
00:38:11,074 --> 00:38:12,876
Yeah. Wish me luck.
751
00:38:26,890 --> 00:38:29,492
Hey, Mom and Dad.
I wanted to ask if I could--
752
00:38:30,293 --> 00:38:31,628
Hi, honey.
753
00:38:32,095 --> 00:38:34,563
Hi.
Hello, Liam.
754
00:38:34,564 --> 00:38:36,398
I'm Dr. Finkleman.
755
00:38:36,399 --> 00:38:37,766
Hello.
756
00:38:37,767 --> 00:38:40,869
Dr. Finkleman is
a child psychologist, Liam.
757
00:38:40,870 --> 00:38:42,304
Hmm.
758
00:38:42,305 --> 00:38:44,173
I hear
that's an interesting field.
759
00:38:44,174 --> 00:38:45,475
Hmm.
760
00:38:46,676 --> 00:38:48,878
I'm gonna go watch
Salt Lake Housewives.
761
00:38:50,246 --> 00:38:51,748
Uh, Liam.
762
00:38:52,849 --> 00:38:53,749
Hmm?
763
00:38:53,750 --> 00:38:56,418
Dr. Finkleman
is here to see you.
764
00:38:56,419 --> 00:38:58,153
Oh, God.
765
00:38:58,154 --> 00:39:00,923
So, I wanna make sure
I have this straight.
766
00:39:00,924 --> 00:39:05,794
Uh, first, you thought
Santa came into your bedroom.
767
00:39:05,795 --> 00:39:10,199
But now you think
it wasn't Santa,
it was Satan.
768
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:12,869
Yeah, that's right.
No.
769
00:39:13,536 --> 00:39:14,536
He must be confused.
770
00:39:14,537 --> 00:39:16,673
He means Saint Nick, not Satan.
771
00:39:17,273 --> 00:39:19,475
No, no, that's what I thought.
772
00:39:19,476 --> 00:39:22,077
But then I realized
it was Satan.
773
00:39:22,078 --> 00:39:23,379
Oh, no.
774
00:39:24,047 --> 00:39:25,582
No, no, no, no, no.
775
00:39:26,282 --> 00:39:27,683
No. Think he's just confused.
776
00:39:27,684 --> 00:39:31,553
Well, um,
let's say he is confused.
777
00:39:31,554 --> 00:39:36,125
Liam, you confused
Santa and Satan. How?
778
00:39:36,126 --> 00:39:40,829
Well, they both have
surprisingly similar styles.
779
00:39:40,830 --> 00:39:45,934
I mean, you know, beards,
a generous build,
780
00:39:45,935 --> 00:39:49,905
and their clothing is reddish
with black boots.
781
00:39:51,641 --> 00:39:53,876
Where is this coming from?
I don't know.
782
00:39:53,877 --> 00:39:55,878
Did you know? What is this?
783
00:39:55,879 --> 00:39:57,946
It's fully thought out.
Where is this coming from?
784
00:39:57,947 --> 00:39:59,681
It's fully realized.
Yeah, it is.
785
00:40:00,984 --> 00:40:02,584
Hey, it's not
phone time right now.
786
00:40:02,585 --> 00:40:04,887
Come on, honey. Put it away.
787
00:40:04,888 --> 00:40:09,691
Do you have any idea why Satan
would come visit you
in your room?
788
00:40:09,692 --> 00:40:11,093
Well, because I wrote him
a letter.
789
00:40:11,094 --> 00:40:15,230
And again,
why were you writing to Satan?
790
00:40:15,231 --> 00:40:16,732
No, I wasn't.
791
00:40:16,733 --> 00:40:18,700
I meant to write it to Santa,
792
00:40:18,701 --> 00:40:21,503
but I mixed up the letters
and it went to Satan.
793
00:40:21,504 --> 00:40:22,838
Didn't you jot that one down?
794
00:40:22,839 --> 00:40:25,741
Hey. Liam. Calm down.
I'm sorry.
795
00:40:25,742 --> 00:40:28,877
It's been a tough year,
with the tragedy and all.
796
00:40:28,878 --> 00:40:33,549
I know it might sound crazy,
but the devil came to
my bedroom.
797
00:40:33,550 --> 00:40:35,017
With God as my witness.
798
00:40:35,018 --> 00:40:39,788
So, is God witnessing you now
as well, Liam?
799
00:40:39,789 --> 00:40:42,157
No. That was an expression.
800
00:40:42,158 --> 00:40:45,227
Mom, I really need to
talk to you about--
Not right now, Liam.
801
00:40:45,228 --> 00:40:47,429
We need to finish talking
with Dr. Finkleman, okay?
802
00:40:47,430 --> 00:40:48,997
And make sure you tell him
the truth.
803
00:40:48,998 --> 00:40:51,466
I am telling him the truth!
I already told you that.
804
00:40:51,467 --> 00:40:53,703
He's here to help us.
805
00:40:58,408 --> 00:41:01,911
No, it's okay.
I got something stuck.
806
00:41:03,179 --> 00:41:05,215
Dr. Finkleman,
can I get you a water?
807
00:41:06,816 --> 00:41:08,184
I'm gonna get it.
808
00:41:12,989 --> 00:41:15,158
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
809
00:41:17,126 --> 00:41:19,228
Sorry.
810
00:41:27,670 --> 00:41:31,007
Okay, then if that's the truth,
thank you for being honest
with us.
811
00:41:32,342 --> 00:41:33,643
So, do you believe me?
812
00:41:34,210 --> 00:41:35,310
Of course we believe you.
813
00:41:37,914 --> 00:41:39,214
He's nuts.
814
00:41:39,215 --> 00:41:40,750
Oh, God.
815
00:41:46,656 --> 00:41:47,891
Liam.
816
00:41:56,099 --> 00:41:57,066
Hi there.
817
00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:59,034
Can I help you?
818
00:41:59,035 --> 00:42:01,737
I'm Gibby, Liam's friend.
819
00:42:01,738 --> 00:42:03,673
The football player with cancer.
820
00:42:05,041 --> 00:42:06,508
Gibby!
821
00:42:06,509 --> 00:42:09,478
It is so nice to
finally meet you.
Oh.
822
00:42:09,479 --> 00:42:11,446
Nice to meet you too,
Mrs. Turner.
823
00:42:11,447 --> 00:42:14,783
Um, how--
how is everything going?
Are you feeling okay?
824
00:42:14,784 --> 00:42:18,420
You know, some good days,
some bad days. Mostly bad.
825
00:42:18,421 --> 00:42:21,189
Oh, well, come on in the house.
Let me get you something
to drink.
826
00:42:21,190 --> 00:42:23,792
Oh, no, thank you,
Mrs. Turner.
I don't have time.
827
00:42:23,793 --> 00:42:25,527
I'm just here to pick up Liam
828
00:42:25,528 --> 00:42:29,098
because he promised me to
go to my chemo session with me
tonight.
829
00:42:29,732 --> 00:42:30,966
Yeah.
Oh.
830
00:42:30,967 --> 00:42:32,534
Mom, I was trying
to tell you about that.
831
00:42:32,535 --> 00:42:33,869
Um...
832
00:42:33,870 --> 00:42:35,938
But I can go, right?
I mean, Gibby needs me.
833
00:42:35,939 --> 00:42:38,807
Oh, well,
I'm not sure if you--
834
00:42:38,808 --> 00:42:40,810
Bill?
I mean-- I--
835
00:42:45,081 --> 00:42:49,085
Of course. Yes. Go, Liam.
Go... Go support your friend.
836
00:42:49,819 --> 00:42:51,820
Do you guys need a ride?
No need.
837
00:42:51,821 --> 00:42:54,256
I'm on the job.
Howdy there, folks.
838
00:42:54,257 --> 00:42:57,159
I'm Gibby's dad,
Gibby the first,
Gibby Senior.
839
00:42:57,160 --> 00:42:58,660
Great to meet.
840
00:42:58,661 --> 00:43:00,929
I'll be taking
these two eager beavers
over to the clinic,
841
00:43:00,930 --> 00:43:04,132
and then, if it's okay with you,
I'd like to take them out
for a little boba.
842
00:43:04,133 --> 00:43:06,601
How about that, guys?
How's that sound? Little boba?
843
00:43:06,602 --> 00:43:10,138
♪ Bo-boba-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-boba
Bo-boba-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-boba ♪
844
00:43:10,139 --> 00:43:13,409
We love boba.
We can't get enough of that b--
those bobas.
845
00:43:14,143 --> 00:43:16,044
You're Gibby's dad?
846
00:43:16,045 --> 00:43:18,947
Yes, ma'am. Unfortunately,
he gets his good looks
from his mom,
847
00:43:18,948 --> 00:43:21,817
if you know what I mean.
848
00:43:21,818 --> 00:43:27,189
Anyway, we really appreciate
Liam being such a big support
to Gibby.
849
00:43:27,190 --> 00:43:29,524
Time with good friends
is so important.
850
00:43:29,525 --> 00:43:30,792
Especially when
you don't know...
851
00:43:30,793 --> 00:43:32,761
...how much time you got left.
852
00:43:32,762 --> 00:43:34,029
Yeah.
But, uh...
853
00:43:34,030 --> 00:43:36,064
...great kid.
854
00:43:36,065 --> 00:43:38,768
You did something right.
Come on, guys. Let's go.
855
00:43:39,502 --> 00:43:42,038
Yeah!
Okay, uh, bye.
856
00:43:42,905 --> 00:43:44,140
See you later.
857
00:43:45,541 --> 00:43:48,978
Okay. Have fun at chemo.
858
00:43:51,047 --> 00:43:53,416
Did you just lie
about chemotherapy?
859
00:43:55,018 --> 00:43:56,651
Do you know how wrong that is?
860
00:43:56,652 --> 00:43:58,887
I do,
and I'm not proud of it.
861
00:43:58,888 --> 00:44:00,822
I guess the devil made me do it.
862
00:44:00,823 --> 00:44:03,091
What the hell is going on?
863
00:44:03,092 --> 00:44:04,860
It wasn't my idea.
864
00:44:04,861 --> 00:44:06,495
He came to my house and told me
865
00:44:06,496 --> 00:44:08,663
that you wanted me
to go to the concert too.
866
00:44:08,664 --> 00:44:12,835
Come on, you chupacabras!
Hurry up. We're gonna be
late for the concert.
867
00:44:27,583 --> 00:44:29,584
This is so cool.
868
00:44:29,585 --> 00:44:31,920
I've never been
backstage before.
869
00:44:31,921 --> 00:44:33,722
Now, listen up,
mouse knuckle.
870
00:44:33,723 --> 00:44:36,792
If you want this girl to
find you interesting enough to
fall for you,
871
00:44:36,793 --> 00:44:39,528
you're gonna have to...
...you know.
872
00:44:39,529 --> 00:44:41,396
What? Be myself?
873
00:44:41,397 --> 00:44:43,698
No! Do not do that.
874
00:44:43,699 --> 00:44:45,000
You're gonna have to trick her.
875
00:44:45,001 --> 00:44:47,169
Trick her?
I don't wanna trick her.
876
00:44:47,170 --> 00:44:50,739
I just wanna make sure
she gets to see the real me.
877
00:44:52,108 --> 00:44:54,409
And what's the real you, Liam?
878
00:44:54,410 --> 00:44:58,547
A good and kind
and, I think,
a sensitive person.
879
00:44:58,548 --> 00:44:59,848
Hold up.
880
00:44:59,849 --> 00:45:01,616
Can I give you
some free advice?
881
00:45:01,617 --> 00:45:03,952
You wanna get ahead
in the world,
882
00:45:03,953 --> 00:45:05,987
you gotta think about
yourself first.
883
00:45:05,988 --> 00:45:08,523
Numero uno.
It's a time-tested formula.
884
00:45:08,524 --> 00:45:10,525
Just look at your politicians.
885
00:45:10,526 --> 00:45:12,661
Okay.
You know how when
you're on a plane,
886
00:45:12,662 --> 00:45:15,965
they say, "Put on
your oxygen mask first
before helping others"?
887
00:45:16,499 --> 00:45:18,433
Yeah?
Like that.
888
00:45:18,434 --> 00:45:21,837
Except maybe you don't even
have to help anyone else
with their mask, right?
889
00:45:21,838 --> 00:45:24,806
Who wants to share oxygen
when a plane's going down, anyway?
890
00:45:24,807 --> 00:45:26,843
Up top.
891
00:45:29,946 --> 00:45:31,713
We need to work on that.
892
00:45:31,714 --> 00:45:35,218
You two pieces of
belly button lint wait here.
I'll be right back.
893
00:45:37,420 --> 00:45:38,454
What's up?
894
00:45:44,494 --> 00:45:46,062
Whoa!
895
00:45:46,696 --> 00:45:48,131
It's Post Malone!
896
00:45:48,531 --> 00:45:50,365
Shut up.
897
00:45:50,366 --> 00:45:51,700
Liam!
898
00:45:51,701 --> 00:45:52,801
Dude!
899
00:45:52,802 --> 00:45:54,035
What is up, man?
900
00:45:54,036 --> 00:45:55,637
How are you, man?
901
00:45:55,638 --> 00:45:56,872
You know Liam?
902
00:45:56,873 --> 00:45:58,073
Hell yeah, I know Liam.
903
00:45:58,074 --> 00:46:00,108
Liam is my inspiration.
904
00:46:00,109 --> 00:46:02,377
Liam is--
is my motivation, dude.
905
00:46:02,378 --> 00:46:05,647
You're what drives me, man.
Thank you so much
for what you do.
906
00:46:05,648 --> 00:46:09,284
Hey, hey, hey. What's up?
I see you've already caught up
with Posty.
907
00:46:09,285 --> 00:46:11,586
What's up, bro?
Great to see you.
What's up, dude? Yes, sir.
908
00:46:11,587 --> 00:46:15,957
Look, I have to go,
but I wanted you to know.
909
00:46:15,958 --> 00:46:18,793
I am going to
kick this show's ass,
910
00:46:18,794 --> 00:46:21,296
and I wanna dedicate it
to you tonight, man.
911
00:46:21,297 --> 00:46:23,665
I gotta go, dude,
but I love you so much, man.
912
00:46:23,666 --> 00:46:27,135
You're a living legend.
You're an absolute stud.
913
00:46:27,136 --> 00:46:29,404
You're the biggest beast
on planet Earth, Liam.
914
00:46:29,405 --> 00:46:31,306
You're the biggest rock star
in the universe.
915
00:46:31,307 --> 00:46:33,975
I love you so much,
and I'll see you
after the show, man.
916
00:46:33,976 --> 00:46:35,443
Let's go!
What's going on here?
917
00:46:35,444 --> 00:46:38,346
Once again,
and hopefully for the last time,
918
00:46:38,347 --> 00:46:39,548
I can do cool shit.
919
00:46:39,549 --> 00:46:41,816
But how'd you get him to
know who I am?
920
00:46:41,817 --> 00:46:44,553
I put him under
a simple, little spell.
921
00:46:44,554 --> 00:46:47,022
Don't worry,
it's only temporary.
But--
922
00:46:47,023 --> 00:46:50,225
Don't ask how
the sausage gets made, okay?
923
00:46:50,226 --> 00:46:52,995
Here you go, Gibby.
You're in the nosebleeds.
924
00:46:54,363 --> 00:46:56,965
Nosebleeds?
But I wanna sit with Liam.
925
00:46:56,966 --> 00:47:00,402
Look, even Satan can't
outtrick Ticketmaster.
I'm not a bot.
926
00:47:03,439 --> 00:47:06,641
It's Emma.
She's at the seats.
I gotta go.
927
00:47:06,642 --> 00:47:09,044
Get going, Liam.
928
00:47:09,045 --> 00:47:12,013
Gibby, the nosebleeds
are that way and to the left.
See you later.
929
00:47:12,014 --> 00:47:13,782
Let's go!
930
00:47:13,783 --> 00:47:14,983
Yeah!
931
00:47:14,984 --> 00:47:16,952
Posty time. You excited?
932
00:47:16,953 --> 00:47:18,853
I am too. Let's do this.
933
00:47:21,791 --> 00:47:25,460
♪ My mama called
Seen you on TV, son ♪
934
00:47:25,461 --> 00:47:29,764
♪ Said shit done changed
Ever since we was on ♪
935
00:47:29,765 --> 00:47:33,368
♪ I dreamed it all
Ever since I was young ♪
936
00:47:33,369 --> 00:47:35,503
♪ They said
I wouldn't be nothing ♪
937
00:47:35,504 --> 00:47:39,274
♪ Now they always say ♪♪ Congratulations ♪
938
00:47:39,275 --> 00:47:42,544
♪ Worked so hard
Forgot how to vacation ♪
939
00:47:42,545 --> 00:47:46,514
♪ They ain't never had
The dedication ♪
940
00:47:46,515 --> 00:47:50,752
♪ People hatin', say we changed
And look, we made it ♪
941
00:47:50,753 --> 00:47:52,821
♪ Yeah, we made it ♪
942
00:47:52,822 --> 00:47:56,392
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
943
00:47:58,494 --> 00:47:59,929
Whoo!
944
00:48:05,101 --> 00:48:07,035
Thank you so very much,
ladies and gentlemen.
945
00:48:07,036 --> 00:48:08,370
Thank you so very much.
946
00:48:08,371 --> 00:48:10,205
I had the most amazing night,
947
00:48:10,206 --> 00:48:12,974
and I appreciate y'all's love
so very much.
948
00:48:12,975 --> 00:48:15,243
But, uh,
I wanted to take a moment
949
00:48:15,244 --> 00:48:21,249
and I wanted to bring up, uh,
probably the most important man
to my career,
950
00:48:21,250 --> 00:48:23,752
and, uh,
the inspiration for my music,
951
00:48:23,753 --> 00:48:28,490
and the absolute
biggest living legend,
um, of all time.
952
00:48:28,491 --> 00:48:31,059
Would you please
come up here, man?
Liam Turner.
953
00:48:34,697 --> 00:48:35,563
What?
954
00:48:35,564 --> 00:48:37,065
Oh!
955
00:48:37,066 --> 00:48:39,968
Yeah! Liam! Liam!
956
00:48:39,969 --> 00:48:42,537
Liam! Liam! Liam!
957
00:48:42,538 --> 00:48:45,441
That's so cool! How come
you never said anything?
958
00:48:58,988 --> 00:49:00,255
Yeah!
959
00:49:00,256 --> 00:49:01,556
I don't know what to do.
960
00:49:01,557 --> 00:49:03,958
I can't sing,
rap, dance, anything!
961
00:49:03,959 --> 00:49:05,960
Have we built no trust here?
962
00:49:05,961 --> 00:49:07,495
But what if I look stupid?
963
00:49:07,496 --> 00:49:09,597
You've been looking stupid
your whole life, kid.
964
00:49:09,598 --> 00:49:11,667
This is your chance
to show 'em you're not.
965
00:49:13,903 --> 00:49:14,969
Let's go.
966
00:49:14,970 --> 00:49:16,705
Yeah.
You got this.
967
00:49:16,706 --> 00:49:18,173
Yeah!
968
00:49:19,975 --> 00:49:22,078
You rock, Liam!
969
00:49:23,279 --> 00:49:25,281
You got anything
you wanna say, Liam?
970
00:49:29,185 --> 00:49:31,586
This song is dedicated to Emma.
971
00:49:37,193 --> 00:49:38,760
Oh, my God.
Is that Liam?
972
00:49:38,761 --> 00:49:40,028
Wait, that is Liam!
973
00:49:40,029 --> 00:49:41,529
Get a video.
Get a video.
Oh, my God!
974
00:49:41,530 --> 00:49:43,331
Oh, my God.
Liam! Liam!
Liam!
975
00:49:43,332 --> 00:49:46,568
♪ Ooh, girl, I like you
I do ♪
976
00:49:46,569 --> 00:49:48,770
♪ I wanna be your friend
Go shoppin' in a Benz ♪
977
00:49:48,771 --> 00:49:51,573
♪ I like you, I do ♪
978
00:49:51,574 --> 00:49:54,142
♪ I'll hit you when I land
Can you fit me in your plans? ♪
979
00:49:54,143 --> 00:49:56,144
♪ I like you, I do ♪
980
00:49:56,145 --> 00:49:58,880
♪ We went over to France
And we woke up in Japan ♪
981
00:49:58,881 --> 00:50:01,216
♪ I like you, I do ♪
982
00:50:01,217 --> 00:50:03,218
♪ Mmm, yeah ♪
983
00:50:03,219 --> 00:50:05,587
♪ Oh, girl,
I know you only like it fancy ♪
984
00:50:05,588 --> 00:50:07,922
♪ So I pull up
In that Maybach Candy ♪
985
00:50:07,923 --> 00:50:10,225
♪ Yeah, your boyfriend
Will never understand me ♪
986
00:50:10,226 --> 00:50:12,527
♪ 'Cause I'm about to
Pull this girl like a hammy ♪
987
00:50:13,863 --> 00:50:15,397
♪ Let's take a lil dip
Lil lady... ♪
988
00:50:15,398 --> 00:50:16,264
Come on!
989
00:50:16,265 --> 00:50:17,899
♪ Hit PCH, 180 ♪
990
00:50:17,900 --> 00:50:19,701
♪ Girl,
I've been thinkin' lately... ♪
991
00:50:19,702 --> 00:50:20,869
Come up.
992
00:50:20,870 --> 00:50:23,438
Emma!
993
00:50:23,439 --> 00:50:26,208
That looks like fun.
I gotta get in there.
994
00:50:27,643 --> 00:50:31,679
♪ But I need a good girl
I need someone to ground me ♪
995
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:34,449
♪ So please be true
Don't... around with me ♪
996
00:50:34,450 --> 00:50:36,484
♪ I need someone to
Share this heart with me ♪
997
00:50:36,485 --> 00:50:39,789
♪ Feel you up
Then run it back again ♪
998
00:50:40,689 --> 00:50:43,825
♪ But, girl, I like you
I do ♪
999
00:50:43,826 --> 00:50:46,094
♪ I wanna be your friend
Go shoppin' in a Benz ♪
1000
00:50:46,095 --> 00:50:48,296
♪ I like you, I do... ♪
1001
00:50:48,297 --> 00:50:50,665
Go, Emma! Go, Emma! Go, Emma!
1002
00:50:50,666 --> 00:50:53,268
♪ ...I like you, I do... ♪
1003
00:50:53,269 --> 00:50:56,004
Go, Liam! Go, Liam!
1004
00:50:56,005 --> 00:50:58,540
♪ I like you, I do ♪
1005
00:50:58,541 --> 00:51:01,510
Hey, hey!
We love you, Liam!
1006
00:51:02,478 --> 00:51:03,778
Hey, that's my bestie.
1007
00:51:03,779 --> 00:51:05,847
Wanna go backstage with me
and meet him after?
1008
00:51:05,848 --> 00:51:07,450
Are you kidding? Yes!
1009
00:51:09,752 --> 00:51:12,721
But I can't.
I kinda have a boyfriend.
1010
00:51:13,956 --> 00:51:16,759
It wasn't a date.
It was more of a meet and greet.
1011
00:51:17,593 --> 00:51:19,727
Go, Post! Go, Post!
1012
00:51:19,728 --> 00:51:22,264
Go, Post! Go, Post!
1013
00:51:34,443 --> 00:51:37,580
Yes!
1014
00:51:38,781 --> 00:51:40,748
I could go all night.
I love this.
1015
00:51:40,749 --> 00:51:43,452
Let's go!
Let's go!
1016
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:00,368
Hey.
Where'd you go tonight?
1017
00:52:00,369 --> 00:52:04,038
You have early onset dementia?
I was at the concert.
1018
00:52:04,039 --> 00:52:05,673
No, I mean after the show.
1019
00:52:05,674 --> 00:52:07,909
I looked all over for you
when I got offstage.
1020
00:52:07,910 --> 00:52:09,577
We were doing some fun stuff.
1021
00:52:09,578 --> 00:52:13,181
I left early.
Ubered home.
I was bored.
1022
00:52:13,182 --> 00:52:15,383
What?
I danced with Post Malone
1023
00:52:15,384 --> 00:52:18,386
then made out with Emma,
and that bored you?
1024
00:52:18,387 --> 00:52:20,388
You didn't make out with her.
1025
00:52:20,389 --> 00:52:21,923
It was just one kiss.
1026
00:52:21,924 --> 00:52:23,892
And I don't think
she even touched your lip.
1027
00:52:23,893 --> 00:52:26,828
She did touch my lip.
Looked like cheek to me.
1028
00:52:26,829 --> 00:52:30,533
It was way more
lip than cheek. Way more.
1029
00:52:31,534 --> 00:52:33,201
Wait, I thought you said
you left early.
1030
00:52:33,202 --> 00:52:35,570
Yeah,
right after the cheek kiss.
1031
00:52:35,571 --> 00:52:39,307
Lip kiss!
She got the corner, I swear.
1032
00:52:39,308 --> 00:52:42,110
Oh, you swear?
To God or to the devil?
1033
00:52:42,111 --> 00:52:43,444
Come on, Gibby.
1034
00:52:43,445 --> 00:52:45,380
Just because Satan's come
into my life,
1035
00:52:45,381 --> 00:52:47,483
doesn't mean I worship him now.
1036
00:52:48,117 --> 00:52:49,385
Oh, you sure?
1037
00:52:52,988 --> 00:52:53,923
What's wrong?
1038
00:52:54,823 --> 00:52:56,592
I think you better come
hear this.
1039
00:52:57,726 --> 00:52:58,761
Okay.
1040
00:53:07,603 --> 00:53:09,304
I never thought I'd say this,
1041
00:53:09,305 --> 00:53:11,906
but meeting Satan might be
the best thing
that ever happened to me.
1042
00:53:11,907 --> 00:53:14,442
Satan?
So you're not worried about him
1043
00:53:14,443 --> 00:53:16,044
tricking you into more wishes?
When did he meet Satan?
1044
00:53:16,045 --> 00:53:17,879
I don't know. Shh.
What does that even mean?
1045
00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:20,214
Nope. I'm one and done.
No more wishes necessary.
1046
00:53:20,215 --> 00:53:24,285
And by the way, tomorrow's
the big Christmas carnival.
1047
00:53:24,286 --> 00:53:26,688
It's gonna be
the best night ever.
1048
00:53:26,689 --> 00:53:29,591
The night where
it all goes down.
1049
00:53:29,592 --> 00:53:30,925
What's going down?
What?
1050
00:53:30,926 --> 00:53:32,293
What's gonna go down?
I don't know.
1051
00:53:34,263 --> 00:53:36,565
Hold on.
I think someone's at the door.
1052
00:53:49,478 --> 00:53:51,312
Must've been Blitzen.
Where were we?
1053
00:53:51,313 --> 00:53:55,316
You were saying tomorrow night,
it all goes down.
What goes down?
1054
00:53:55,317 --> 00:53:58,586
I'm gonna kiss Emma for real.
On the lips.
1055
00:53:58,587 --> 00:54:00,888
Then there will be no question,
buddy boy.
1056
00:54:00,889 --> 00:54:02,523
Yeah, that's great.
1057
00:54:02,524 --> 00:54:05,360
Gib. I finally got
the girl of my dreams.
1058
00:54:05,361 --> 00:54:06,661
Why aren't you happy for me?
1059
00:54:06,662 --> 00:54:08,529
I'm happy for you.
1060
00:54:08,530 --> 00:54:10,098
Come on, Gibby.
What's wrong?
1061
00:54:10,099 --> 00:54:12,768
This is what's wrong. This.
1062
00:54:13,969 --> 00:54:16,337
Look, you get to be the star,
1063
00:54:16,338 --> 00:54:18,506
and I can't even get a girl to
talk to me.
1064
00:54:18,507 --> 00:54:20,975
You know what, man?
1065
00:54:20,976 --> 00:54:23,444
I'm just gonna hang up.
I'll see you.
1066
00:54:23,445 --> 00:54:24,980
Oh, wait, Gib!
1067
00:54:32,588 --> 00:54:35,623
Oh, it's freezing.
It's colder than a witch's tit.
1068
00:54:35,624 --> 00:54:38,026
Why can't you leave
the damn window open?
1069
00:54:38,027 --> 00:54:39,694
It gets chilly out here.
1070
00:54:39,695 --> 00:54:42,563
Come on. Open the window!
1071
00:54:42,564 --> 00:54:45,334
I'm used to heat, man.
1072
00:54:53,976 --> 00:54:56,310
Did you have to
turn into a vulture?
1073
00:54:56,311 --> 00:55:00,248
What, too on the nose?
I was wondering about that.
I should've gone for a bat.
1074
00:55:00,249 --> 00:55:03,851
How much fun was that tonight?
1075
00:55:05,354 --> 00:55:06,621
It was very fun.
1076
00:55:06,622 --> 00:55:07,855
I'd almost forgotten
1077
00:55:07,856 --> 00:55:09,791
how much fun it was to dance
like that.
1078
00:55:09,792 --> 00:55:11,693
Just dance like
no one was watching you.
1079
00:55:11,694 --> 00:55:14,495
Except the whole auditorium was,
and that made it even better.
1080
00:55:14,496 --> 00:55:16,764
Booyah!
1081
00:55:16,765 --> 00:55:18,266
Hey.
1082
00:55:18,267 --> 00:55:20,168
Did your gal Emma
have a nice time?
1083
00:55:20,169 --> 00:55:21,903
Yes.
1084
00:55:21,904 --> 00:55:24,806
A very good time.
I wanna thank you for that.
1085
00:55:24,807 --> 00:55:29,177
Ew! Look, kid,
do not be polite with me, okay?
1086
00:55:29,178 --> 00:55:32,747
I'm not a fan of that crap.
It's like nails on a chalkboard.
1087
00:55:32,748 --> 00:55:35,283
Oh. I apologize for that, sir.
1088
00:55:35,284 --> 00:55:37,585
Ugh! There you go again!
1089
00:55:37,586 --> 00:55:40,054
You know,
you're starting to annoy me.
1090
00:55:40,055 --> 00:55:43,324
I come all the way up here
to offer you any three wishes
you want,
1091
00:55:43,325 --> 00:55:45,326
and what does
Mr. Goody Goody say?
1092
00:55:45,327 --> 00:55:47,062
"Nah, I'll just take one."
1093
00:55:47,663 --> 00:55:49,163
You're making me look bad.
1094
00:55:49,164 --> 00:55:53,368
Actually, I wanted to ask you
a question about your offer.
1095
00:55:55,237 --> 00:55:56,705
Do go on.
1096
00:55:57,506 --> 00:55:58,873
So, you said
1097
00:55:58,874 --> 00:56:02,343
you'd only own my soul
if I made three wishes.
1098
00:56:02,344 --> 00:56:04,646
Is that true?
I swear to God.
1099
00:56:05,280 --> 00:56:06,515
So, that m--
1100
00:56:07,683 --> 00:56:08,783
You swear to God?
1101
00:56:08,784 --> 00:56:10,151
It's a figure of speech.
1102
00:56:10,152 --> 00:56:12,353
I also say "go to hell"
when I'm pissed,
1103
00:56:12,354 --> 00:56:15,523
even though that'd be like
other people saying,
"Let's go to Bermuda."
1104
00:56:15,524 --> 00:56:18,826
Okay, good.
I'd like to make my second wish.
1105
00:56:18,827 --> 00:56:23,297
Finally! Here we go.
I was getting worried about you.
1106
00:56:23,298 --> 00:56:24,600
So...
1107
00:56:25,734 --> 00:56:27,536
what'll it be?
1108
00:56:38,247 --> 00:56:39,481
Hi, Liam.
1109
00:56:40,682 --> 00:56:43,852
Uh, hi? I guess.
1110
00:56:45,287 --> 00:56:46,854
Good morning, buddy boy.
1111
00:56:46,855 --> 00:56:48,589
Somebody's
in a good mood today.
1112
00:56:48,590 --> 00:56:53,027
Why wouldn't I be?
It's a super-duper day to
be alive.
1113
00:56:53,028 --> 00:56:56,798
Dude, you look awesome!
What happened?
1114
00:56:56,799 --> 00:57:00,701
I woke up this morning,
and my teeth were just fixed.
1115
00:57:00,702 --> 00:57:04,438
My mom always told me
I'd grow into them,
and I guess she was right.
1116
00:57:04,439 --> 00:57:08,309
My parents are happy.
They were about to take me
to go get braces.
1117
00:57:08,310 --> 00:57:09,844
Perfect timing.
1118
00:57:09,845 --> 00:57:11,012
What? Why?
1119
00:57:11,013 --> 00:57:12,880
Me and Emma are going
to the carnival tonight.
1120
00:57:12,881 --> 00:57:14,682
Maybe you wanna double-date?
1121
00:57:14,683 --> 00:57:17,118
You don't think
she'd feel like a third wheel?
1122
00:57:17,119 --> 00:57:21,622
No, I mean "double date"
as in you bring a girl.
1123
00:57:21,623 --> 00:57:26,427
I guess I could ask
my cousin Arielle,
but she's kinda picky.
1124
00:57:26,428 --> 00:57:28,429
No, not someone
you're related to.
1125
00:57:28,430 --> 00:57:29,797
A real girl.
1126
00:57:29,798 --> 00:57:31,599
I mean, you are a stud.
1127
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:33,868
S-U-T-D. A stud.
1128
00:57:33,869 --> 00:57:36,971
Actually, maybe you're right.
1129
00:57:36,972 --> 00:57:39,807
Me being this handsome
might magically attract girls,
1130
00:57:39,808 --> 00:57:42,610
so, you know,
why bring sand to the beach?
1131
00:57:42,611 --> 00:57:45,013
Tonight,
I could be a free agent.
1132
00:57:45,581 --> 00:57:46,814
Now you're talkin'.
1133
00:57:46,815 --> 00:57:47,682
See you.
1134
00:57:50,185 --> 00:57:51,486
Hey, Gibby.
1135
00:58:04,066 --> 00:58:05,934
This is dope.
1136
00:58:06,568 --> 00:58:07,803
Very.
1137
00:58:17,512 --> 00:58:19,313
Hey, look. That's Liam.
1138
00:58:19,314 --> 00:58:21,282
That is him. Isn't it?
1139
00:58:21,283 --> 00:58:23,117
This is sick, buddy.
1140
00:58:23,118 --> 00:58:25,820
Somehow or another,
we became the cool kids.
1141
00:58:25,821 --> 00:58:27,555
Who would've thunk it?
1142
00:58:27,556 --> 00:58:29,090
Hey, where's Emma?
1143
00:58:29,091 --> 00:58:31,159
Uh, she should be here
any minute.
1144
00:58:35,964 --> 00:58:38,532
Do you really think
this is necessary?
1145
00:58:38,533 --> 00:58:42,370
Molly, I don't know about you,
but-- but I-I-I'm terrified.
1146
00:58:42,371 --> 00:58:44,772
He's been talking nonstop
about Satan.
1147
00:58:44,773 --> 00:58:46,607
But are we sure
that we heard him say "Satan"
1148
00:58:46,608 --> 00:58:48,876
and not "Jason" or "Layton" or--
1149
00:58:48,877 --> 00:58:51,913
Who's Jason or Layton?
I have no idea.
I'm reaching.
1150
00:58:51,914 --> 00:58:53,915
Listen, we both definitely
heard him say
1151
00:58:53,916 --> 00:58:56,151
that tonight is the night
it all goes down.
1152
00:58:56,652 --> 00:58:57,920
We gotta do somethin'.
1153
00:58:58,620 --> 00:58:59,720
Hey, guys.
1154
00:58:59,721 --> 00:59:01,455
Sorry I'm late.
1155
00:59:01,456 --> 00:59:03,457
Gibby, you look so good.
1156
00:59:03,458 --> 00:59:04,859
Everyone's talking about it.
1157
00:59:04,860 --> 00:59:06,794
Thanks, Emma.
1158
00:59:06,795 --> 00:59:09,263
I can't believe how much fun
that was last night, Liam.
1159
00:59:09,264 --> 00:59:11,599
Yeah, that was pretty fun.
1160
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:13,034
You're so humble.
1161
00:59:13,035 --> 00:59:15,804
You never let on at all
about any of your talents.
1162
00:59:17,406 --> 00:59:18,674
I'ma get a corn dog.
1163
00:59:19,808 --> 00:59:21,442
Uh, do you guys want one?
1164
00:59:21,443 --> 00:59:22,443
Sure.
1165
00:59:22,444 --> 00:59:24,011
Yeah.
All right.
1166
00:59:24,012 --> 00:59:25,113
Be right back.
1167
00:59:28,183 --> 00:59:29,216
Are you ready?
1168
00:59:29,217 --> 00:59:30,319
Yeah.
1169
00:59:32,521 --> 00:59:33,888
Go get him.
1170
00:59:33,889 --> 00:59:34,889
Me?
1171
00:59:34,890 --> 00:59:37,024
Yeah. You're--
He listens to you.
1172
00:59:40,195 --> 00:59:42,531
I'm the driver.
Fine, fine.
1173
00:59:47,402 --> 00:59:48,370
You got it.
1174
00:59:50,706 --> 00:59:51,906
Come and get them.
1175
00:59:51,907 --> 00:59:54,742
{\an8}Nitrates, sodium,
artificial flavors.
1176
00:59:54,743 --> 00:59:56,510
{\an8}Really bad for you.
1177
00:59:56,511 --> 00:59:57,578
{\an8}Oh, hey there, kid.
1178
00:59:57,579 --> 00:59:59,113
What are you doing here?
1179
00:59:59,114 --> 01:00:00,915
I'm just staying close by,
you know,
1180
01:00:00,916 --> 01:00:04,085
in case I'm needed for, uh,
say, a third and final wish.
1181
01:00:04,086 --> 01:00:06,687
Yeah, well, you won't be.
1182
01:00:06,688 --> 01:00:08,589
And I wanna thank you
for your service.
1183
01:00:08,590 --> 01:00:11,058
You wanna thank me
for my service?
1184
01:00:11,059 --> 01:00:14,962
I'm done.
I really don't need
anything else.
1185
01:00:14,963 --> 01:00:18,165
Mm-hmm.
Can I ask you something?
1186
01:00:18,166 --> 01:00:20,868
Why aren't you taking credit
for what you did for your buddy?
1187
01:00:20,869 --> 01:00:23,037
What? Why should I?
1188
01:00:23,038 --> 01:00:25,840
I mean, literally
the only reason to
do stuff for other people
1189
01:00:25,841 --> 01:00:27,541
is to get the credit.
1190
01:00:27,542 --> 01:00:28,876
So then they owe you something.
1191
01:00:28,877 --> 01:00:30,811
What about doing
something nice for a person
1192
01:00:30,812 --> 01:00:32,380
because you care about them?
1193
01:00:32,381 --> 01:00:33,681
Like out of kindness.
1194
01:00:33,682 --> 01:00:35,549
I don't even know
what you just said.
1195
01:00:35,550 --> 01:00:38,619
I mean, I know all the words,
but I just never heard them
in that order.
1196
01:00:38,620 --> 01:00:39,820
Like a selfless act.
1197
01:00:39,821 --> 01:00:41,322
Still not following.
1198
01:00:41,323 --> 01:00:42,758
Forget it.
1199
01:00:44,126 --> 01:00:47,229
Hey, Mrs. Turner.
Is everything all right?
1200
01:00:48,130 --> 01:00:50,031
I'm Gibby, Liam's friend.
1201
01:00:50,032 --> 01:00:52,166
The football player with cancer.
1202
01:00:52,167 --> 01:00:54,435
Yeah, no, I know.
Gibby, hi.
1203
01:00:54,436 --> 01:00:57,471
God,
you just look so healthy.
1204
01:00:57,472 --> 01:01:01,108
The, uh, treatment
seems to really be working.
1205
01:01:01,109 --> 01:01:03,544
Yes, it's, uh,
doing the trick.
1206
01:01:03,545 --> 01:01:07,782
Have, um-- Have you seen Liam?
I-- I just need to talk to him
for a second.
1207
01:01:07,783 --> 01:01:10,651
Yeah, he's over there
at the corn dog stand.
1208
01:01:10,652 --> 01:01:12,686
Corn dog. Okay.
Thank you.
1209
01:01:12,687 --> 01:01:13,989
Bye now.
1210
01:01:15,457 --> 01:01:17,091
It was a pleasure
doing business with you,
1211
01:01:17,092 --> 01:01:19,860
but I made my two wishes
and I wanna enjoy them.
1212
01:01:19,861 --> 01:01:22,898
So no offense, but bye.
1213
01:01:24,399 --> 01:01:27,568
Oh! Oh. And can I get
three corn dogs?
1214
01:01:27,569 --> 01:01:29,804
Not a wish. I'm paying cash.
1215
01:01:29,805 --> 01:01:31,672
Coming right up!
1216
01:01:31,673 --> 01:01:34,875
Three corn dogs,
extra goat lips.
1217
01:01:34,876 --> 01:01:36,445
On the house.
1218
01:01:36,912 --> 01:01:38,313
Extra spicy.
1219
01:01:40,715 --> 01:01:41,850
Enjoy.
1220
01:01:42,784 --> 01:01:45,854
And don't chew
with your mouth open.
It's gross.
1221
01:01:50,892 --> 01:01:52,760
Mom,
what are you doing here?
1222
01:01:52,761 --> 01:01:55,796
Liam, I've been looking for you.
I just need you to come with me, please.
1223
01:01:55,797 --> 01:01:57,531
Right now?
Yeah, right now.
1224
01:01:57,532 --> 01:01:58,833
But I'm with my friends.
1225
01:01:58,834 --> 01:02:00,301
Liam, honey,
this will only take a moment.
1226
01:02:00,302 --> 01:02:03,237
Everything's okay.
Just come with me.
1227
01:02:03,238 --> 01:02:05,673
What are you doing?
Why are you pulling me so hard?
1228
01:02:05,674 --> 01:02:07,174
Come on. Hey, come on.
Emma and Gibby.
1229
01:02:07,175 --> 01:02:08,709
Let's go, let's go.
It's okay.
1230
01:02:08,710 --> 01:02:10,244
I just-- I missed you.
No-- Wait.
1231
01:02:10,245 --> 01:02:12,046
I needed to see you quick.
What's Daddy doing here?
1232
01:02:12,047 --> 01:02:13,747
Honey, how was the carnival?
We loved the carnival.
1233
01:02:13,748 --> 01:02:16,083
I got him! I got him!
All right.
Liam. Give me the corn dogs!
1234
01:02:16,084 --> 01:02:17,618
Come on. I see it.
Wait! Help!
1235
01:02:17,619 --> 01:02:20,254
I see it. I got it.
Be careful!
Don't hurt him.
1236
01:02:20,255 --> 01:02:22,189
I did it already.
Liam, lean back.
1237
01:02:22,190 --> 01:02:23,624
Let's go.
1238
01:02:23,625 --> 01:02:26,193
Why are you doing this?
Because we love you.
1239
01:02:26,194 --> 01:02:28,829
This is a horrible way to
show it.
I'm on a date.
1240
01:02:28,830 --> 01:02:30,398
Of course you are.
1241
01:02:42,377 --> 01:02:44,512
Everything's gonna
be all right, Liam.
1242
01:02:44,513 --> 01:02:48,449
We're gonna do a few tests
and keep you overnight.
1243
01:02:48,450 --> 01:02:52,287
Now I'm gonna go talk to
your parents
about a course of treatment.
1244
01:02:52,888 --> 01:02:54,089
Be right back.
1245
01:02:54,623 --> 01:02:56,457
Course of treatment?
1246
01:02:56,458 --> 01:02:59,828
Take me to
Christmas carnival, please.
1247
01:03:05,233 --> 01:03:07,568
What the hell
did they do to you, McMurphy?
1248
01:03:07,569 --> 01:03:09,336
Who's McMurphy?
1249
01:03:09,337 --> 01:03:11,539
Cuckoo's Nest.
1250
01:03:11,540 --> 01:03:14,176
It saddens me
that you don't know that.
1251
01:03:15,210 --> 01:03:16,443
Now, listen up, comrade.
1252
01:03:16,444 --> 01:03:18,480
I can get you out of here
in two seconds.
1253
01:03:19,181 --> 01:03:20,548
Really?
Of course.
1254
01:03:20,549 --> 01:03:22,383
You've still got
your third wish, remember?
1255
01:03:22,384 --> 01:03:25,186
Yeah, well,
I'm not giving you my soul.
1256
01:03:25,187 --> 01:03:26,720
No deal.
1257
01:03:26,721 --> 01:03:28,689
Okay, your call.
1258
01:03:28,690 --> 01:03:31,225
Just looks like your friends
are having so much fun
1259
01:03:31,226 --> 01:03:33,929
at the Winter
Christmas Carnival.
1260
01:03:35,564 --> 01:03:37,831
Liam never even
said goodbye, though.
1261
01:03:37,832 --> 01:03:39,300
I hope he's okay.
1262
01:03:39,301 --> 01:03:41,602
Ah, I'm sure he's fine.
1263
01:03:41,603 --> 01:03:42,970
I'm not fine.
1264
01:03:42,971 --> 01:03:44,505
How are you doing, Gibby?
1265
01:03:44,506 --> 01:03:46,840
Don't worry.
I won't tell anyone.
1266
01:03:46,841 --> 01:03:52,446
I know how freaked out
people can get when they
find out someone has... cancer.
1267
01:03:52,447 --> 01:03:55,015
Yeah.
Oh, you've gotta be joking me.
1268
01:03:55,016 --> 01:03:58,919
They look at you
like you're a patient,
not a person.
1269
01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:00,487
You don't even have cancer!
1270
01:04:00,488 --> 01:04:03,191
Well, I think
you're really brave.
1271
01:04:04,492 --> 01:04:06,227
Soldiers are brave.
1272
01:04:06,228 --> 01:04:08,896
I'm just courageous.
1273
01:04:08,897 --> 01:04:11,098
This kid is good.
1274
01:04:11,099 --> 01:04:14,236
You gotta hand it to him.
He's got the moves.
1275
01:04:14,970 --> 01:04:16,737
He does not have
the moves at all.
1276
01:04:16,738 --> 01:04:18,105
I don't know, Liam.
1277
01:04:18,106 --> 01:04:20,708
Looks like
they're really hitting it off.
1278
01:04:20,709 --> 01:04:26,414
Gibby, do you mind me asking
what kind of cancer you have?
1279
01:04:26,982 --> 01:04:30,485
The super-duper bad kind.
1280
01:04:32,153 --> 01:04:33,754
You got to admit, Liam,
1281
01:04:33,755 --> 01:04:35,456
they make a cute couple.
1282
01:04:35,457 --> 01:04:37,224
No, they do not!
1283
01:04:37,225 --> 01:04:38,192
Stop it.
1284
01:04:38,193 --> 01:04:40,428
I know what you're trying to do.
1285
01:04:41,963 --> 01:04:43,999
I'm not making my third wish.
1286
01:04:44,666 --> 01:04:45,666
Now get out of here.
1287
01:04:45,667 --> 01:04:47,369
Okay, your call.
1288
01:04:48,169 --> 01:04:50,971
I'll just head back to my room.
1289
01:04:50,972 --> 01:04:53,140
You have a room over here?
1290
01:04:53,141 --> 01:04:56,210
I'm staying at
the Red Rum Motor Lodge.
1291
01:04:56,211 --> 01:04:58,545
You can probably guess
my room number.
1292
01:05:03,385 --> 01:05:05,920
It's 666, just in case
you didn't know.
1293
01:05:14,829 --> 01:05:16,530
It's gonna be okay.
1294
01:05:16,531 --> 01:05:20,101
Whatever this is, we'll--
we'll get through it together.
1295
01:05:25,774 --> 01:05:28,610
Uh, I have bad news.
1296
01:05:29,344 --> 01:05:32,112
He does not have a brain tumor.
1297
01:05:32,113 --> 01:05:34,048
Damn it!
1298
01:05:34,049 --> 01:05:35,649
Well, what is it then?
1299
01:05:35,650 --> 01:05:37,017
Why is he acting this way?
1300
01:05:37,018 --> 01:05:40,221
Why are you acting this way?
This is good news.
1301
01:05:41,189 --> 01:05:44,591
Talking about Lucifer
and-and Post Malone.
1302
01:05:44,592 --> 01:05:45,826
That's good news?
1303
01:05:45,827 --> 01:05:48,028
Be honest, Doc.
Is there any hope?
1304
01:05:48,029 --> 01:05:51,799
Usually, I--
I'm a "optimistic person,"
1305
01:05:51,800 --> 01:05:53,901
but in this particular case,
I've gotta tell you,
1306
01:05:53,902 --> 01:05:56,036
the delusions seem to
be more acute--
Dr. Finkleman.
1307
01:05:56,037 --> 01:05:57,938
Do you know who that is
in there?
In where?
1308
01:05:57,939 --> 01:05:59,707
In the imaging room.
1309
01:05:59,708 --> 01:06:02,543
That's the kid that
blew Post Malone
off the stage last night.
1310
01:06:02,544 --> 01:06:03,477
What?
No, no, no.
1311
01:06:03,478 --> 01:06:05,245
Don't-- Don't listen to him.
1312
01:06:05,246 --> 01:06:07,114
He-- He's--
He's a little delirious
right now.
1313
01:06:07,115 --> 01:06:09,016
Mmm. No. I was there.
1314
01:06:09,017 --> 01:06:10,517
Where?
At the show.
1315
01:06:10,518 --> 01:06:13,387
The kid killed.
He's a rock star.
1316
01:06:13,388 --> 01:06:15,155
Here.
Is this person a patient?
1317
01:06:15,156 --> 01:06:17,057
This.
1318
01:06:17,058 --> 01:06:18,225
♪ Girl, I like you, I do ♪
1319
01:06:18,226 --> 01:06:19,727
Right?
Oh, my God.
1320
01:06:19,728 --> 01:06:22,229
Oh, my God. That's Liam!
Liam.
1321
01:06:22,230 --> 01:06:24,765
Who took him to this?
There's a lot of people there.
1322
01:06:24,766 --> 01:06:28,168
Is he moonwalking?
It's not great,
but it's spirited.
1323
01:06:28,169 --> 01:06:29,837
He's so cool.
1324
01:06:29,838 --> 01:06:31,772
That's our son?
This was last night?
Oh, my God.
1325
01:06:31,773 --> 01:06:34,408
Uh-oh. Here's when
we all went backstage.
What?
1326
01:06:34,409 --> 01:06:36,877
Liam! Liam! Liam!
Is he playing beer pong?
1327
01:06:36,878 --> 01:06:38,179
What?
1328
01:06:40,315 --> 01:06:45,720
Yeah! Yeah!
That's what I'm talking about.
Yeah!
1329
01:06:48,056 --> 01:06:49,890
He's so good at beer pong.
1330
01:06:49,891 --> 01:06:51,458
Oh, no.
1331
01:06:51,459 --> 01:06:53,561
Yeah.
Liam! Liam! Liam!
1332
01:06:58,199 --> 01:07:00,401
Liam,
can we just talk for a moment?
1333
01:07:00,402 --> 01:07:03,138
No! You ruined my life!
1334
01:07:04,072 --> 01:07:05,439
Look, I know it was scary.
1335
01:07:05,440 --> 01:07:07,442
It's just that
the doctors were try-- were--
1336
01:07:08,243 --> 01:07:09,677
Liam, honey, we--
1337
01:07:25,593 --> 01:07:27,228
I should've believed him.
1338
01:07:29,531 --> 01:07:31,833
What, that he was a rock star?
1339
01:07:33,334 --> 01:07:35,270
I mean,
why would you believe that?
1340
01:07:36,104 --> 01:07:37,705
Because he said he was.
1341
01:07:38,740 --> 01:07:39,674
And he's my son.
1342
01:07:42,510 --> 01:07:45,747
You did everything
a good father would do.
1343
01:07:47,315 --> 01:07:50,084
Did I?
Under the circumstances,
1344
01:07:51,152 --> 01:07:52,387
yeah.
1345
01:07:53,555 --> 01:07:56,291
Hey, you are
a really good father, Bill.
1346
01:07:57,025 --> 01:07:58,393
Really, you're amazing.
1347
01:07:59,627 --> 01:08:00,728
Thank you.
1348
01:08:05,867 --> 01:08:07,668
Oh, and, Bill,
1349
01:08:07,669 --> 01:08:10,605
I'm sorry you never
got that pony
when you were a kid.
1350
01:08:25,186 --> 01:08:26,620
Hey.
1351
01:08:26,621 --> 01:08:29,523
Hey. What the heck happened
to you tonight?
1352
01:08:29,524 --> 01:08:32,125
My parents are freaks.
That's what happened.
1353
01:08:32,126 --> 01:08:34,928
Well, we missed you, man.
Wasn't as fun without you.
1354
01:08:34,929 --> 01:08:38,232
Oh, really? Sure looked like
you were having a good time.
1355
01:08:38,233 --> 01:08:39,433
What do you mean?
1356
01:08:39,434 --> 01:08:40,801
You were all over her.
1357
01:08:40,802 --> 01:08:43,537
I saw everything.
Satan showed it to me.
1358
01:08:43,538 --> 01:08:45,506
Satan showed it to you?
Yeah.
1359
01:08:45,507 --> 01:08:47,574
He put it on the monitor.
1360
01:08:47,575 --> 01:08:49,643
So, you were just spying on us?
1361
01:08:49,644 --> 01:08:50,811
I was riveted.
1362
01:08:50,812 --> 01:08:53,447
"The super-duper bad kind."
1363
01:08:53,448 --> 01:08:55,582
Please.
1364
01:08:55,583 --> 01:08:58,285
You were the one
who came up with the cancer lie.
1365
01:08:58,286 --> 01:09:00,220
I guess that
no good deed goes unpunished.
1366
01:09:00,221 --> 01:09:03,957
So, making up a story
that I'm dying
is your good deed?
1367
01:09:03,958 --> 01:09:07,161
No. Fixing your teeth
was my good deed.
1368
01:09:07,162 --> 01:09:08,829
What?
That's right.
1369
01:09:08,830 --> 01:09:11,565
I used my second wish
to straighten out your teeth.
1370
01:09:11,566 --> 01:09:13,600
I didn't go after Emma.
1371
01:09:13,601 --> 01:09:15,869
And I never asked you to
fix my teeth.
1372
01:09:15,870 --> 01:09:19,139
Yeah, well,
I was being a good friend.
You should try it sometime.
1373
01:09:28,883 --> 01:09:30,384
Maybe he's right.
1374
01:09:30,385 --> 01:09:32,353
Maybe he did meet the devil.
1375
01:09:32,887 --> 01:09:34,721
Oh, come on.
1376
01:09:34,722 --> 01:09:37,324
You're the one who said
that we should believe him.
1377
01:09:37,325 --> 01:09:38,692
Within reason.
1378
01:09:38,693 --> 01:09:40,027
Bill, you saw him.
1379
01:09:40,028 --> 01:09:42,529
He was singing and dancing
and he was playing beer pong.
1380
01:09:42,530 --> 01:09:44,832
Our son can't do
any of those things.
1381
01:09:45,800 --> 01:09:47,935
Maybe he was practicing
at school.
1382
01:09:47,936 --> 01:09:50,238
Beer pong in middle school?
1383
01:09:52,073 --> 01:09:54,208
Maybe it was lemonade pong.
1384
01:09:54,742 --> 01:09:55,742
Okay, yeah.
1385
01:09:55,743 --> 01:09:57,912
Well, obviously,
he's a natural.
1386
01:09:58,513 --> 01:10:00,047
I mean, I was in a frat.
1387
01:10:00,048 --> 01:10:01,616
Yes, we know.
1388
01:10:03,518 --> 01:10:05,320
There's gotta be
some explanation.
1389
01:10:05,954 --> 01:10:06,987
Yeah, maybe there is.
1390
01:10:06,988 --> 01:10:08,822
Maybe he's telling the truth.
1391
01:10:08,823 --> 01:10:11,224
Are you listening to
yourself, Molly?
1392
01:10:11,225 --> 01:10:14,428
You're actually wondering
out loud if
there really is a devil?
1393
01:10:14,429 --> 01:10:17,265
Well, if there isn't,
then who took Spencer from us?
1394
01:10:18,266 --> 01:10:19,601
God?
1395
01:10:20,902 --> 01:10:23,705
Would God take Liam's
little brother
away from him?
1396
01:10:30,878 --> 01:10:33,614
There are bad things
in this world, Bill--
horrible things--
1397
01:10:33,615 --> 01:10:35,849
and we've seen them firsthand.
1398
01:10:35,850 --> 01:10:37,451
Where do you think
they come from?
1399
01:10:37,452 --> 01:10:38,953
Stop it, Molly.
1400
01:10:42,090 --> 01:10:45,994
Spencer didn't die
because of God or the devil.
1401
01:10:47,095 --> 01:10:48,528
He died because--
1402
01:10:48,529 --> 01:10:50,464
Because I let them play outside
without watching them.
1403
01:10:50,465 --> 01:10:52,600
Just say it. It was my fault.
1404
01:10:54,102 --> 01:10:56,236
I didn't say that.
But you were thinking it.
1405
01:10:56,237 --> 01:10:59,139
Don't tell me
what I'm thinking, okay?
You certainly don't tell me.
1406
01:10:59,140 --> 01:11:01,742
Maybe it's because I don't know
what I think anymore!
1407
01:11:01,743 --> 01:11:04,244
Nothing around here
makes any damn sense.
1408
01:11:04,245 --> 01:11:05,880
Yeah, I know you don't.
1409
01:11:14,155 --> 01:11:17,358
Maybe tomorrow,
I'll just go to my sister's
for a while.
1410
01:11:18,292 --> 01:11:20,395
Yeah, maybe you should.
1411
01:11:21,663 --> 01:11:23,497
Yeah, I think
it'll be better for everyone.
1412
01:11:23,498 --> 01:11:25,767
Yeah,
stay as long as you'd like.
1413
01:11:28,202 --> 01:11:29,437
I give up.
1414
01:11:32,774 --> 01:11:35,410
If you need me,
I'll be on my couch.
1415
01:12:25,059 --> 01:12:27,461
♪ I like you, I do ♪
1416
01:12:29,330 --> 01:12:31,932
And a-one, two, three, four.
1417
01:12:31,933 --> 01:12:33,734
Two, two, three, four.
1418
01:12:33,735 --> 01:12:36,336
And three, two, three, four.
1419
01:12:36,337 --> 01:12:38,271
Four, two, three, four.
1420
01:12:38,272 --> 01:12:40,474
♪ I like you, I do ♪
1421
01:12:40,475 --> 01:12:42,676
In other news,
entertainer Post Malone...
Kick-- What?
1422
01:12:42,677 --> 01:12:46,580
...checked himself
into Emory Medical Center
for extensive tests yesterday
1423
01:12:46,581 --> 01:12:49,616
after posting on social media
how he woke up
1424
01:12:49,617 --> 01:12:52,586
and had no recollection
of a two-hour concert
1425
01:12:52,587 --> 01:12:54,922
he gave at the Neary Theater.
I did that.
1426
01:12:55,890 --> 01:12:58,425
{\an8}Hey, guys. Um, Posty here.
1427
01:12:58,426 --> 01:13:00,694
{\an8}Um, weird story.
1428
01:13:00,695 --> 01:13:05,465
{\an8}So, uh, I'm sitting
in the greenroom,
getting ready for a show,
1429
01:13:05,466 --> 01:13:09,736
{\an8}and all of a sudden,
I wake up
and it's the next day.
1430
01:13:09,737 --> 01:13:12,439
{\an8}And, uh, I don't even remember
what happened.
1431
01:13:15,243 --> 01:13:17,978
{\an8}But I appreciate the love...
{\an8}He didn't know what hit him.
1432
01:13:17,979 --> 01:13:20,147
{\an8}...and, um,
I'm doing great now.
1433
01:13:20,148 --> 01:13:21,915
{\an8}Well, that sure sounds scary.
1434
01:13:21,916 --> 01:13:23,517
{\an8}It sure is.
But you know what?
1435
01:13:23,518 --> 01:13:25,552
{\an8}His fans
weren't complaining at all.
1436
01:13:25,553 --> 01:13:28,989
{\an8}In fact, many in attendance
thought it was
one of his best shows ever.
1437
01:13:28,990 --> 01:13:32,058
Now that's
what I'm talking about.
We sure have.
1438
01:13:32,059 --> 01:13:34,661
Best show he's done in year--
1439
01:13:34,662 --> 01:13:36,396
Damn, Uber Eats is fast.
1440
01:13:36,397 --> 01:13:38,565
Coming.
1441
01:13:38,566 --> 01:13:41,135
Double stuffed pizza crust.
1442
01:13:44,438 --> 01:13:45,907
Well, well, well.
1443
01:13:47,441 --> 01:13:49,110
I wanna make my third wish.
1444
01:13:49,744 --> 01:13:52,713
Please, come in.
1445
01:13:54,682 --> 01:13:55,916
What are you wearing?
1446
01:13:55,917 --> 01:13:59,619
Oh, it's just
a little exercise thing
1447
01:13:59,620 --> 01:14:01,454
I picked up at the store.
1448
01:14:01,455 --> 01:14:03,758
Come on in.
Make yourself comfortable.
1449
01:14:12,900 --> 01:14:14,434
Hey, Liam.
1450
01:14:14,435 --> 01:14:17,238
I know you're upset,
but I just wanted to say
good night, okay?
1451
01:14:19,006 --> 01:14:20,675
Liam.
1452
01:14:23,010 --> 01:14:24,111
Liam, come on.
1453
01:14:31,085 --> 01:14:32,854
Bill. Bill!
1454
01:14:34,455 --> 01:14:36,356
So let me try to
get this straight.
1455
01:14:36,357 --> 01:14:40,628
You're saying your third wish is
you want your parents to
not get a divorce?
1456
01:14:42,296 --> 01:14:43,331
That's right.
1457
01:14:44,165 --> 01:14:46,166
It's a little vague.
I mean, theoretically,
1458
01:14:46,167 --> 01:14:48,869
they could stay together
but still be miserable.
1459
01:14:48,870 --> 01:14:49,836
No.
1460
01:14:49,837 --> 01:14:52,305
I want them to smile again.
1461
01:14:52,306 --> 01:14:54,241
Go out to dinner.
1462
01:14:54,242 --> 01:14:55,710
Watch a band.
1463
01:14:56,344 --> 01:14:58,979
Hug, kiss, laugh.
1464
01:14:58,980 --> 01:15:01,616
And not say horrible things
to each other.
1465
01:15:03,718 --> 01:15:05,920
That kind of staying together.
1466
01:15:07,889 --> 01:15:08,990
Okay.
1467
01:15:09,657 --> 01:15:10,892
So, you can do it?
1468
01:15:11,459 --> 01:15:12,692
I'm usually pro-divorce,
1469
01:15:12,693 --> 01:15:15,263
but hell, yes, I can do it.
1470
01:15:16,497 --> 01:15:18,632
So, then what will happen to me?
1471
01:15:18,633 --> 01:15:20,367
Do I die
and go straight to hell?
1472
01:15:20,368 --> 01:15:22,369
No, no, no, no, not yet.
1473
01:15:22,370 --> 01:15:24,371
Not for a good 70 to 85 years
1474
01:15:24,372 --> 01:15:27,775
if you watch your weight
and get your
10,000 steps a day in.
1475
01:15:28,476 --> 01:15:30,778
Until then,
do me a favor.
1476
01:15:31,779 --> 01:15:33,014
Have some fun.
1477
01:15:33,714 --> 01:15:35,316
What kind of fun?
1478
01:15:36,017 --> 01:15:36,917
Fun, fun.
1479
01:15:36,918 --> 01:15:38,151
You're literally
going to hell.
1480
01:15:38,152 --> 01:15:40,320
You might as well
have fun with it.
1481
01:15:40,321 --> 01:15:41,821
Be a jerk.
1482
01:15:41,822 --> 01:15:43,156
Don't hold the door.
1483
01:15:43,157 --> 01:15:46,059
In fact,
slam the door in people's faces.
1484
01:15:46,060 --> 01:15:48,562
Rip a juicy one
on the bus.
1485
01:15:49,764 --> 01:15:52,365
Tell people
what you really think about 'em
right to their face,
1486
01:15:52,366 --> 01:15:54,000
even if it's rude.
1487
01:15:54,001 --> 01:15:55,736
Feels good.
1488
01:15:56,871 --> 01:15:58,705
What if I enjoy
being nice to people?
1489
01:15:58,706 --> 01:16:00,607
You don't.
1490
01:16:00,608 --> 01:16:03,576
You just believe you do
because you're worried about
what people think.
1491
01:16:03,577 --> 01:16:04,811
How do you know?
1492
01:16:04,812 --> 01:16:06,346
I may be Satan,
1493
01:16:06,347 --> 01:16:09,482
but I'm also a keen observer of
the human "condish."
1494
01:16:09,483 --> 01:16:10,885
Now, come on, kid.
1495
01:16:11,552 --> 01:16:12,619
Let's make it official.
1496
01:16:15,156 --> 01:16:16,289
How?
1497
01:16:16,290 --> 01:16:20,961
In a clear voice--
no mumbling-- just say,
1498
01:16:20,962 --> 01:16:25,199
"With this third and final wish,
Satan, you now have my soul,"
1499
01:16:25,733 --> 01:16:27,267
and then ask for the wish.
1500
01:16:29,704 --> 01:16:33,106
With this third
and final wish, Satan,
1501
01:16:33,107 --> 01:16:36,309
you now have my soul.
You now have my soul.
1502
01:16:38,446 --> 01:16:40,982
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
1503
01:16:42,116 --> 01:16:43,416
Go ahead now.
1504
01:16:43,417 --> 01:16:44,952
Ask for the third wishie.
1505
01:16:48,990 --> 01:16:52,425
Imagine getting
to see your mom smile again.
1506
01:16:52,426 --> 01:16:54,194
A real smile, guilt-free.
1507
01:16:54,195 --> 01:16:55,663
Your dad too.
1508
01:16:58,499 --> 01:17:03,938
I wish my parents
would stay together,
in love, forever.
1509
01:17:05,039 --> 01:17:07,008
Sucker!
1510
01:17:07,808 --> 01:17:09,909
I'm just messing with you.
1511
01:17:09,910 --> 01:17:12,346
Congrats.
Welcome to the squad.
1512
01:17:14,815 --> 01:17:17,050
What? Why so blue?
1513
01:17:17,051 --> 01:17:18,451
Why so blue?
1514
01:17:18,452 --> 01:17:20,887
I just sold my soul to
the devil.
1515
01:17:20,888 --> 01:17:22,589
Adorable.
1516
01:17:22,590 --> 01:17:24,024
Totes adorbs.
1517
01:17:24,025 --> 01:17:25,658
That's what they all say
at first,
1518
01:17:25,659 --> 01:17:28,328
but once you get the hang of it,
you're gonna have a blast.
1519
01:17:28,329 --> 01:17:30,630
Ooh, I get goose bumps
just thinking about it.
1520
01:17:30,631 --> 01:17:32,900
You never understand.
1521
01:17:34,735 --> 01:17:36,404
Aw, cheer up, dude.
1522
01:17:37,705 --> 01:17:39,073
Slam that door.
1523
01:17:42,109 --> 01:17:44,511
♪ I like it, I do ♪
1524
01:17:44,512 --> 01:17:46,946
♪ I catch a little soul
And I eat a whole bowl ♪
1525
01:17:46,947 --> 01:17:49,950
♪ I like it, I do ♪
1526
01:17:54,522 --> 01:17:56,389
Where is he?
Where could he be?
1527
01:17:56,390 --> 01:17:59,692
He was angry.
He probably went for a walk.
1528
01:18:01,295 --> 01:18:05,433
Look, let me just pull over
for a minute
so I can think.
1529
01:18:21,949 --> 01:18:24,718
I don't wanna fight with you
anymore about Liam.
1530
01:18:25,820 --> 01:18:28,422
I know you think
I'm the one to blame
for all of this.
1531
01:18:29,457 --> 01:18:30,857
What are you talking about?
1532
01:18:30,858 --> 01:18:32,492
I let him believe in Santa.
1533
01:18:32,493 --> 01:18:35,196
I baby him.
I don't challenge him enough.
1534
01:18:39,066 --> 01:18:41,135
Molly,
I don't blame you for this.
1535
01:18:42,036 --> 01:18:44,205
And I never blamed you
for Spencer.
1536
01:18:45,239 --> 01:18:48,209
The truth is,
if I blame anyone...
1537
01:18:50,411 --> 01:18:51,745
it was me.
1538
01:18:52,513 --> 01:18:53,781
You?
1539
01:18:54,515 --> 01:18:55,715
Why?
1540
01:18:55,716 --> 01:18:59,220
Why was I
not there that day?
1541
01:19:00,955 --> 01:19:03,390
What was so important
that I couldn't be there?
1542
01:19:06,594 --> 01:19:08,028
I was golfing.
1543
01:19:08,996 --> 01:19:10,763
Can you believe that?
I was fricking golfing.
1544
01:19:10,764 --> 01:19:13,500
It was a Saturday, Bill.
1545
01:19:13,501 --> 01:19:15,969
You were out having
a little bit of fun
with your friends.
1546
01:19:15,970 --> 01:19:17,872
There's nothing wrong with that.
1547
01:19:20,508 --> 01:19:21,941
It wasn't your fault.
1548
01:19:21,942 --> 01:19:23,911
And it wasn't yours.
1549
01:19:26,814 --> 01:19:28,382
It was an accident.
1550
01:19:31,719 --> 01:19:33,420
It wasn't your fault.
1551
01:19:34,822 --> 01:19:36,790
It was nobody's fault.
1552
01:19:38,292 --> 01:19:41,495
It's the first time
you've ever said that.
1553
01:19:43,597 --> 01:19:46,133
I guess I just
didn't wanna talk about it.
1554
01:19:48,068 --> 01:19:52,139
Yeah, well, I did.
1555
01:19:53,407 --> 01:19:54,542
And I needed to.
1556
01:19:58,679 --> 01:20:00,281
I'm sorry.
1557
01:20:04,718 --> 01:20:06,153
I'm so sorry.
1558
01:20:06,787 --> 01:20:08,255
I'm sorry too.
1559
01:20:22,670 --> 01:20:24,305
Look.
Oh, thank God.
1560
01:20:25,306 --> 01:20:26,340
Liam!
1561
01:20:30,578 --> 01:20:32,279
What are you doing?
1562
01:20:34,582 --> 01:20:35,882
Hi.
1563
01:20:35,883 --> 01:20:37,984
I'm just getting in
my 10,000 steps.
1564
01:20:37,985 --> 01:20:39,285
You're getting your what?
1565
01:20:39,286 --> 01:20:43,023
You get in this car, silly.
1566
01:20:44,024 --> 01:20:45,259
Buckle up.
1567
01:20:52,533 --> 01:20:54,602
You know what I'm gonna do
when we get home?
1568
01:20:56,103 --> 01:20:59,005
I'm gonna bake us a batch of
those Rudolph the Reindeer
pastries
1569
01:20:59,006 --> 01:21:00,641
you guys love so much.
1570
01:21:03,244 --> 01:21:05,044
Oh, boy.
1571
01:21:24,865 --> 01:21:26,432
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1572
01:21:26,433 --> 01:21:28,301
What do you think you're doing?
1573
01:21:28,302 --> 01:21:30,503
We've been over this, slick.
1574
01:21:30,504 --> 01:21:34,575
You don't cross
till you hear the word "go."
1575
01:21:35,342 --> 01:21:37,577
Go. There.
1576
01:21:37,578 --> 01:21:40,146
How many times
do I have to say this?
I am in--
1577
01:21:40,147 --> 01:21:41,914
Oh, my God!
1578
01:21:41,915 --> 01:21:44,117
Slow down! What was--
1579
01:21:44,118 --> 01:21:46,085
No! Children!
1580
01:21:46,086 --> 01:21:48,121
Hey! No!
1581
01:21:48,122 --> 01:21:52,091
Hey! Do your job,
you banana head!
1582
01:21:52,092 --> 01:21:53,960
I am doing my job.
1583
01:21:53,961 --> 01:21:55,362
You don't know.
1584
01:21:56,030 --> 01:21:57,931
You didn't take the course.
1585
01:22:07,207 --> 01:22:09,610
Oh. Look who it is.
1586
01:22:10,210 --> 01:22:12,613
Mr. Dance-On-The-Stage Guy.
1587
01:22:13,714 --> 01:22:15,248
Wow. That's a good one.
1588
01:22:15,249 --> 01:22:16,983
Are all your insults that good?
1589
01:22:16,984 --> 01:22:20,753
Do you just describe something
a person did
but in a snarky tone?
1590
01:22:20,754 --> 01:22:21,955
Masterful.
1591
01:22:23,390 --> 01:22:24,757
I've tried
to be nice to you.
1592
01:22:24,758 --> 01:22:28,428
And that's gotten really boring
and tiresome.
1593
01:22:28,429 --> 01:22:31,297
So instead,
I'm gonna tell you the truth.
1594
01:22:31,298 --> 01:22:33,933
You're so insecure
about yourself,
1595
01:22:33,934 --> 01:22:37,470
rather than develop
any personality,
1596
01:22:37,471 --> 01:22:40,206
you bully other kids
who you think won't fight back.
1597
01:22:40,207 --> 01:22:43,509
You gonna let him
talk to you like that, Aiden?
1598
01:22:43,510 --> 01:22:46,146
Yeah, he will,
'cause he's a coward.
1599
01:22:46,780 --> 01:22:48,147
Stand up to any bully,
1600
01:22:48,148 --> 01:22:50,049
and you'll see
their true colors.
1601
01:22:50,050 --> 01:22:51,417
Deep down, they're just--
1602
01:22:58,058 --> 01:22:59,660
We done here?
1603
01:23:02,062 --> 01:23:04,465
Yeah. I'm good.
1604
01:23:05,399 --> 01:23:06,433
Good.
1605
01:23:08,969 --> 01:23:10,270
Gentlemen.
1606
01:23:15,809 --> 01:23:17,276
All right, students.
1607
01:23:17,277 --> 01:23:20,747
Let's flip the on switch
to your medulla oblongatas.
1608
01:23:20,748 --> 01:23:24,884
Now, I know this is the last day
before your Christmas break.
1609
01:23:24,885 --> 01:23:26,753
Whoo!
1610
01:23:26,754 --> 01:23:31,190
But your frail little minds
must not wander into
the land of sugarplums.
1611
01:23:31,191 --> 01:23:34,193
Has anyone in here
actually ever had a sugarplum?
1612
01:23:34,194 --> 01:23:37,764
Hmm? That tasty
17th-century delicacy.
1613
01:23:37,765 --> 01:23:39,299
Other than me, obviously.
1614
01:23:41,001 --> 01:23:43,837
Liar. You are a liar, son.
1615
01:23:44,638 --> 01:23:46,973
I want you bright-eyed
and bushy-tailed
1616
01:23:46,974 --> 01:23:52,813
as we discuss probably
one of the most overrated books
in history,
1617
01:23:53,514 --> 01:23:55,915
To Kill a Mockingbird.
1618
01:23:55,916 --> 01:23:59,719
Now, if I was publisher,
I would've titled it
To Kill a Manuscript.
1619
01:24:00,921 --> 01:24:02,355
Oh, Mr. Turner,
1620
01:24:02,356 --> 01:24:05,625
is your head
in the clouds again?
1621
01:24:05,626 --> 01:24:08,462
Don't start with me today, bud.
Not in the mood.
1622
01:24:11,565 --> 01:24:13,132
What did you just say to me?
1623
01:24:13,133 --> 01:24:14,735
Did I stutter?
1624
01:24:15,669 --> 01:24:19,172
Mr. Turner, what on earth
has gotten into you?
1625
01:24:19,173 --> 01:24:22,642
I'm just getting tired
of your act.
1626
01:24:22,643 --> 01:24:24,076
My act, is it?
1627
01:24:24,077 --> 01:24:26,412
Yeah, constantly putting down
great books
1628
01:24:26,413 --> 01:24:29,215
to help you feel better
about your own failures.
1629
01:24:29,216 --> 01:24:31,485
I mean,
what have you ever written?
1630
01:24:32,619 --> 01:24:33,953
Nothing, right?
1631
01:24:33,954 --> 01:24:35,421
Nothing good, anyway,
1632
01:24:35,422 --> 01:24:37,491
or you wouldn't be
a sixth-grade English teacher.
1633
01:24:42,963 --> 01:24:45,699
Wow. That was
quite the kill shot there, Liam.
1634
01:24:48,435 --> 01:24:50,437
You actually might have a point.
1635
01:24:52,039 --> 01:24:57,478
Certainly, my father
and ex-wife would agree
with your assessment.
1636
01:25:12,793 --> 01:25:13,827
Emma.
1637
01:25:17,898 --> 01:25:19,132
Emma, wait.
1638
01:25:19,566 --> 01:25:20,601
What?
1639
01:25:21,235 --> 01:25:22,635
Oh, I wanted to apologize
1640
01:25:22,636 --> 01:25:24,671
for running out
in the middle of our date.
1641
01:25:25,305 --> 01:25:26,539
Don't worry about it.
1642
01:25:26,540 --> 01:25:28,709
Gibby told me
your mom needed you at home.
1643
01:25:31,512 --> 01:25:33,247
You wanna walk home
together?
1644
01:25:33,947 --> 01:25:34,914
I don't think so.
1645
01:25:34,915 --> 01:25:35,982
Oh.
1646
01:25:35,983 --> 01:25:37,917
Um, why?
1647
01:25:37,918 --> 01:25:39,553
You were a jerk.
1648
01:25:41,121 --> 01:25:42,021
What?
1649
01:25:42,022 --> 01:25:44,290
In class with Mr. Charles.
1650
01:25:44,291 --> 01:25:46,325
You were totally soul-crushing.
1651
01:25:46,326 --> 01:25:49,496
You called him a failure
in front of the whole class.
1652
01:25:51,398 --> 01:25:55,369
You know, I broke up with Aiden
because I thought
I found someone nice.
1653
01:25:55,936 --> 01:25:57,336
Turns out I was wrong.
1654
01:25:57,337 --> 01:25:59,273
You're nothing but a bully.
1655
01:26:01,008 --> 01:26:02,242
Goodbye.
1656
01:26:09,349 --> 01:26:11,918
We're gonna go back-to-back.
On three.We're doing bubble judging.
1657
01:26:11,919 --> 01:26:13,920
We'll see who--Dad, can you count to three?
1658
01:26:13,921 --> 01:26:17,557
Yeah. One, two, three.Spencer, that's...
1659
01:26:17,558 --> 01:26:19,058
Count down.Okay, ready?
1660
01:26:19,059 --> 01:26:20,960
All right,
Mom's gonna count it down.
1661
01:26:20,961 --> 01:26:22,962
Three, two, one.
1662
01:26:22,963 --> 01:26:25,731
Guys, on one. Okay.It's a duel.
1663
01:26:25,732 --> 01:26:28,467
I didn't know
what was happening.
1664
01:26:28,468 --> 01:26:30,770
I'm gonna catch it.
I'm gonna catch it.It's like a hot dog.
1665
01:26:30,771 --> 01:26:33,539
Yeah, be very gentle.
Like it's your child.
1666
01:26:35,709 --> 01:26:37,476
Good job, Mom.
You did so good.
1667
01:26:37,477 --> 01:26:39,412
The biggest bubble
that lasted that long.
1668
01:26:39,413 --> 01:26:42,749
High five. That was beautiful.My number one--
My number one fan.
1669
01:26:45,586 --> 01:26:48,288
I'm trying to slice
these bubbles.Wait, Liam. Wait.
1670
01:26:52,059 --> 01:26:53,993
Hey.
Hey.
1671
01:26:53,994 --> 01:26:55,729
Whatcha doing?
1672
01:26:56,330 --> 01:26:57,663
Nothing.
1673
01:26:57,664 --> 01:26:59,733
Just watching
old videos of my brother.
1674
01:27:00,267 --> 01:27:01,334
You have a brother?
1675
01:27:01,335 --> 01:27:02,935
Yeah.
1676
01:27:02,936 --> 01:27:04,403
Well, I used to.
1677
01:27:04,404 --> 01:27:07,173
Spencer, he, um-- he died.
1678
01:27:07,174 --> 01:27:09,075
What?
1679
01:27:09,076 --> 01:27:11,677
Why didn't you ever
tell me that?
You wouldn't let me, remember?
1680
01:27:11,678 --> 01:27:13,813
You wanted to talk about
the Impossible Burger lasagna.
1681
01:27:13,814 --> 01:27:16,315
Oh, by the way,
I tried it. It is good.
1682
01:27:16,316 --> 01:27:18,117
Oh, crap.
1683
01:27:18,118 --> 01:27:19,920
I'm so, so sorry.
1684
01:27:21,254 --> 01:27:22,722
That's a rough one, man.
1685
01:27:22,723 --> 01:27:24,024
Thanks, Gibby.
1686
01:27:25,058 --> 01:27:27,727
I'm really sorry
about what I said
the other night.
1687
01:27:27,728 --> 01:27:31,931
I know you weren't trying to,
you know, with Emma.
1688
01:27:31,932 --> 01:27:33,733
I would hope not.
1689
01:27:33,734 --> 01:27:36,002
What kind of monster
do you think I am, man?
1690
01:27:36,003 --> 01:27:37,536
It's Satan's fault.
1691
01:27:37,537 --> 01:27:39,672
He made me suspicious.
1692
01:27:39,673 --> 01:27:41,941
Isn't that one of
the seven deadly sins?
1693
01:27:41,942 --> 01:27:43,577
Are there really seven?
1694
01:27:45,112 --> 01:27:46,445
What chance do we have?
1695
01:27:46,446 --> 01:27:48,981
Actually, it's my fault too.
1696
01:27:48,982 --> 01:27:52,452
I should've never fixed
your teeth
without your permission.
1697
01:27:53,520 --> 01:27:54,955
I was drunk with power.
1698
01:27:55,555 --> 01:27:57,758
Well, I'm sorry too.
1699
01:27:58,925 --> 01:28:00,326
I kinda suspected
1700
01:28:00,327 --> 01:28:04,397
you were the one
who, you know, fixed my teeth.
1701
01:28:04,398 --> 01:28:05,464
You did?
1702
01:28:05,465 --> 01:28:07,933
Come on, I'm not an idiot.
1703
01:28:07,934 --> 01:28:11,537
I guess I just didn't wanna
admit that Satan
was helping me too.
1704
01:28:11,538 --> 01:28:14,775
Yeah, I guess there is
a bit of a stigma to that.
1705
01:28:15,676 --> 01:28:17,411
I was being a jerk.
1706
01:28:18,045 --> 01:28:19,211
I mean,
1707
01:28:19,212 --> 01:28:22,248
you used
your last freebie wish on me.
1708
01:28:22,249 --> 01:28:25,151
You could've fixed
your own physical malformities,
1709
01:28:25,152 --> 01:28:26,652
but instead, you thought of me.
1710
01:28:26,653 --> 01:28:28,287
That's pretty cool.
1711
01:28:28,288 --> 01:28:30,122
What physical malformities?
1712
01:28:30,123 --> 01:28:31,425
Huh?
1713
01:28:32,793 --> 01:28:35,762
Anyway, Merry Christmas, Liam.
1714
01:28:36,329 --> 01:28:37,496
You too, Gib.
1715
01:28:37,497 --> 01:28:38,564
You're a good friend.
1716
01:28:38,565 --> 01:28:41,033
Right back at ya, bestie.
1717
01:28:41,034 --> 01:28:43,936
So, what do you think
happened to Satan?
1718
01:28:43,937 --> 01:28:48,041
Meh,
I'm sure he's back down there,
sitting on his throne.
1719
01:29:01,755 --> 01:29:05,357
Welcome back to hell,
my loyal subject.
1720
01:29:05,358 --> 01:29:06,826
I trust you traveled safely.
1721
01:29:06,827 --> 01:29:09,495
Yes, your lowness.
Thank you for asking.
1722
01:29:09,496 --> 01:29:11,330
It was a smooth trip, indeed.
1723
01:29:11,331 --> 01:29:14,534
I was being facetious,
you dumbass.
1724
01:29:15,669 --> 01:29:18,871
Not only did you go rogue
without my permission,
1725
01:29:18,872 --> 01:29:21,974
you also failed miserably
on your mission.
1726
01:29:21,975 --> 01:29:23,876
I can't take that kid's soul.
1727
01:29:23,877 --> 01:29:25,478
W-W-Why not?
1728
01:29:25,479 --> 01:29:28,248
I'll tell you...
...why not.
1729
01:29:28,849 --> 01:29:30,916
'Cause you screwed the pooch.
1730
01:29:30,917 --> 01:29:33,953
That was only once,
and I was going through a thing.
1731
01:29:33,954 --> 01:29:35,454
First of all, ew.
1732
01:29:35,455 --> 01:29:38,023
And I mean
you screwed up big time.
1733
01:29:38,024 --> 01:29:42,995
So, your deal with this kid,
Liam, is null and void.
1734
01:29:42,996 --> 01:29:44,163
Null and void?
1735
01:29:44,164 --> 01:29:46,732
Mm-hmm. It's a legal term.
I know that.
1736
01:29:46,733 --> 01:29:48,801
No. I don't know
if you know it.
1737
01:29:48,802 --> 01:29:51,904
'Cause when I said
"null and void," you said
"null and void?" Like that.
1738
01:29:51,905 --> 01:29:53,773
Like you didn't have
any idea what that meant.
1739
01:29:53,774 --> 01:29:55,941
I know null and void.
Hang on a second.
1740
01:29:55,942 --> 01:30:00,079
Just out of curiosity,
what-what is the definition of
null and void, hmm?
1741
01:30:00,080 --> 01:30:04,116
Null and void,
I think it means, like...
1742
01:30:04,117 --> 01:30:07,353
"Null" means, like, "no."
1743
01:30:07,354 --> 01:30:08,654
And "void" means--
1744
01:30:08,655 --> 01:30:10,723
I mean, "void" means
"null and void."
1745
01:30:10,724 --> 01:30:12,091
You know, null and void.
1746
01:30:12,092 --> 01:30:15,027
Okay, so, null and void
means "null and void"?
1747
01:30:15,028 --> 01:30:16,796
Yes.
1748
01:30:16,797 --> 01:30:20,533
That's like saying hippopotamus
means, uh, "hippopotamus."
1749
01:30:20,534 --> 01:30:22,601
Okay,
I don't know null and void.
1750
01:30:22,602 --> 01:30:24,403
But how did I screw up?
1751
01:30:24,404 --> 01:30:27,039
I got him to ask for
the three wishes,
fair and square.
1752
01:30:27,040 --> 01:30:30,843
They're supposed to be
evil wishes, you moron.
1753
01:30:30,844 --> 01:30:33,445
Or at least shallow
and greedy wishes.
1754
01:30:33,446 --> 01:30:37,416
He asked me to be with
a cute girl.
That's shallow and greedy.
1755
01:30:37,417 --> 01:30:40,519
Yeah, but, I mean,
you tricked him into it.
1756
01:30:40,520 --> 01:30:43,923
Oh, come on.
He wanted her.
You know that.
1757
01:30:43,924 --> 01:30:46,091
Okay. Maybe he did. All right.
I'll give you that one.
1758
01:30:46,092 --> 01:30:49,295
But the other two
were definitely pure
and for the benefit of others.
1759
01:30:49,296 --> 01:30:52,097
I mean, how the hell
am I supposed to work
with someone like that?
1760
01:30:52,098 --> 01:30:57,570
Plus, B-T-Dubs, you got a soul
under false pretenses.
1761
01:30:57,571 --> 01:30:59,004
But that's our MO.
1762
01:30:59,005 --> 01:31:02,208
Since when do we not operate
under false pretenses?
1763
01:31:02,209 --> 01:31:03,776
You pretended to be me.
1764
01:31:03,777 --> 01:31:07,046
Never. I never said I was you.
1765
01:31:07,047 --> 01:31:10,816
I explained how there was no way
that I was you,
1766
01:31:10,817 --> 01:31:12,518
that there was only
one real Satan, you,
1767
01:31:12,519 --> 01:31:14,820
and how the rest of us
just aid and serve you,
1768
01:31:14,821 --> 01:31:19,458
but that, without question, you,
your lowness,
are the one and only big D--
1769
01:31:19,459 --> 01:31:20,627
You're lying.
1770
01:31:21,428 --> 01:31:23,529
Yeah. I mean, of course.
1771
01:31:23,530 --> 01:31:24,864
I'm a liar.
1772
01:31:24,865 --> 01:31:27,934
Now, take off
those bullshit horns already!
1773
01:31:28,468 --> 01:31:30,469
Oh. [chuckles] Yeah. Uh...
1774
01:31:30,470 --> 01:31:34,907
I was just wearing them
until I earned my real horns.
1775
01:31:34,908 --> 01:31:37,710
Yeah, well,
that's not happening.
1776
01:31:37,711 --> 01:31:42,081
You're not getting horns,
and you'll never be
a real demon.
1777
01:31:42,082 --> 01:31:44,149
What? Come on!
1778
01:31:44,150 --> 01:31:46,051
Can't you just give me
one more shot at it?
1779
01:31:46,052 --> 01:31:48,053
That kid
was a tough nut to crack.
1780
01:31:48,054 --> 01:31:50,723
I tried everything.
He was incorruptible.
1781
01:31:50,724 --> 01:31:53,826
Look, no offense,
but just-- I mean...
1782
01:31:53,827 --> 01:31:55,895
It's just not
a good fit anymore.
You know?
1783
01:31:57,464 --> 01:32:01,467
What are you talking about?
I busted my ass for you
for centuries.
1784
01:32:01,468 --> 01:32:02,868
I understand,
1785
01:32:02,869 --> 01:32:05,638
but some "demigorgons"
and demidemons
1786
01:32:05,639 --> 01:32:08,240
are just not meant
to be full demons, okay?
1787
01:32:08,241 --> 01:32:09,541
Sorry.
1788
01:32:09,542 --> 01:32:11,043
It's not me, it's you.
1789
01:32:11,044 --> 01:32:12,077
Seriously?
1790
01:32:12,078 --> 01:32:15,882
You have one hour to
say your bye-byes.
1791
01:32:17,083 --> 01:32:18,118
Wow.
1792
01:32:22,188 --> 01:32:23,223
Tootles.
1793
01:32:26,326 --> 01:32:28,160
That's the first time
I've ever said "tootles."
1794
01:32:28,161 --> 01:32:31,397
I-I never say that.
Just so you know.
1795
01:32:31,398 --> 01:32:34,234
That was the first time
I said "B-T-Dubs."
1796
01:32:51,151 --> 01:32:52,251
Satan?
1797
01:32:52,252 --> 01:32:54,854
No, it's Santy Claus.
Open the window!
1798
01:33:05,665 --> 01:33:07,433
Deal's off.
What?
1799
01:33:07,434 --> 01:33:09,868
The deal's off.
I can't take your soul.
1800
01:33:09,869 --> 01:33:12,806
What are you talking about?
Why is it off?
1801
01:33:14,040 --> 01:33:15,808
I decided I didn't want it.
1802
01:33:15,809 --> 01:33:17,543
Why didn't you want my soul?
1803
01:33:17,544 --> 01:33:19,211
Uh...
1804
01:33:19,212 --> 01:33:20,813
Wasn't my type.
1805
01:33:20,814 --> 01:33:23,315
It's a long story.
The bottom line is,
you have your soul back
1806
01:33:23,316 --> 01:33:25,551
and you're never going to hell.
Sorry.
1807
01:33:25,552 --> 01:33:27,753
Wait.
If you didn't have my soul,
1808
01:33:27,754 --> 01:33:30,823
then how was I able to
talk trash to Mr. Charles
1809
01:33:30,824 --> 01:33:33,459
and the crossing guard
1810
01:33:33,460 --> 01:33:35,227
and stand up to Aiden?
1811
01:33:35,228 --> 01:33:36,262
Kinda.
1812
01:33:37,497 --> 01:33:38,964
That wasn't me.
1813
01:33:38,965 --> 01:33:42,001
You were finally
standing up for yourself.
1814
01:33:42,002 --> 01:33:44,903
Though I did think you were
a little hard on Mr. Charles.
1815
01:33:44,904 --> 01:33:46,405
You thought so too?
1816
01:33:46,406 --> 01:33:48,107
A little.
1817
01:33:48,108 --> 01:33:50,876
Wait. Why would you come
all the way here
just to tell me that?
1818
01:33:50,877 --> 01:33:52,878
Um, I'm considerate.
1819
01:33:52,879 --> 01:33:54,847
Satan isn't considerate.
1820
01:33:54,848 --> 01:33:56,248
That's a stereotype.
1821
01:33:56,249 --> 01:33:57,483
Satan can be complex.
1822
01:33:57,484 --> 01:33:59,719
I mean, I can be complex.
1823
01:34:00,920 --> 01:34:03,422
You don't have your--
You're not Satan.
1824
01:34:03,423 --> 01:34:04,724
Uh...
1825
01:34:05,792 --> 01:34:07,092
I never said I was.
1826
01:34:07,093 --> 01:34:09,094
Yes, you did.
Numerous times!
1827
01:34:09,095 --> 01:34:11,831
Sorry.
Caught me in a lie.
1828
01:34:13,133 --> 01:34:15,401
I knew
you weren't really Satan.
1829
01:34:15,402 --> 01:34:18,270
Why would Satan stay
at the Red Rum Motor Lodge?
1830
01:34:18,271 --> 01:34:20,206
They got free Wi-Fi.
1831
01:34:21,741 --> 01:34:23,309
And I like their croissants.
1832
01:34:24,677 --> 01:34:26,046
So, who are you?
1833
01:34:26,746 --> 01:34:28,782
I was just a low-level demon.
1834
01:34:29,349 --> 01:34:30,383
"Demigorgon."
1835
01:34:31,284 --> 01:34:32,584
A fraud.
1836
01:34:34,854 --> 01:34:36,089
So that's it?
1837
01:34:36,856 --> 01:34:38,957
Yep.
You get to keep your soul
1838
01:34:38,958 --> 01:34:40,826
and you're never
gonna go to hell.
1839
01:34:40,827 --> 01:34:44,931
And thanks to
your candy-ass wishes,
I'm banished from hell forever.
1840
01:34:45,432 --> 01:34:46,800
Oh, geez.
1841
01:34:47,600 --> 01:34:49,269
I'm so sorry about that.
I--
1842
01:34:50,370 --> 01:34:52,272
Ah, it's all right.
1843
01:34:53,406 --> 01:34:56,009
Hell ain't all
it's cracked up to be.
1844
01:34:57,644 --> 01:34:59,712
Talk about your horrible bosses.
1845
01:35:01,114 --> 01:35:04,818
Anyway, kid,
Merry Christmas.
1846
01:35:05,251 --> 01:35:06,151
Thank you.
1847
01:35:06,152 --> 01:35:08,088
Merry Christmas to you too.
1848
01:35:10,023 --> 01:35:11,690
I'm sort of ashamed to
admit it,
1849
01:35:11,691 --> 01:35:15,195
but I really enjoyed hanging out
with you
and getting to know you.
1850
01:35:16,963 --> 01:35:18,731
You're a good kid, Liam.
1851
01:35:19,699 --> 01:35:20,799
Thank you.
1852
01:35:20,800 --> 01:35:22,702
You're very welcome.
1853
01:35:23,436 --> 01:35:25,872
And I like Emma too.
She's a doll.
1854
01:35:26,406 --> 01:35:28,674
And Gibby...
1855
01:35:28,675 --> 01:35:33,912
How much fun was that seeing him
with those new teeth?
That smile.
1856
01:35:33,913 --> 01:35:36,748
Did you see that joy,
that little glimmer in his eye?
1857
01:35:36,749 --> 01:35:39,052
That kid's got a heart of gold.
1858
01:35:39,552 --> 01:35:41,019
His old teeth, yikes.
1859
01:35:41,020 --> 01:35:42,921
You could open up
a bottle of beer
on those chompers.
1860
01:35:42,922 --> 01:35:45,492
I mean, bottle of pop.
1861
01:35:48,228 --> 01:35:50,129
So, what are you gonna do
with yourself?
1862
01:35:50,130 --> 01:35:54,167
For Christmas?
I usually order Chinese
and watch some hoops.
1863
01:35:54,834 --> 01:35:57,370
No. I mean, like,
for good?
1864
01:35:58,138 --> 01:35:59,571
Oh.
1865
01:35:59,572 --> 01:36:03,075
I actually feel like
I'm starting a new chapter
of my life,
1866
01:36:03,076 --> 01:36:04,543
and it's pretty refreshing.
1867
01:36:04,544 --> 01:36:07,279
It's a totally
different career path.
1868
01:36:07,280 --> 01:36:11,150
Anyhoo, I gotta go now.
1869
01:36:11,151 --> 01:36:12,451
Oh, yeah!
1870
01:36:12,452 --> 01:36:13,919
One more thing.
1871
01:36:13,920 --> 01:36:15,721
Your third wish
was null and void.
1872
01:36:15,722 --> 01:36:17,256
What? What do you mean?
1873
01:36:17,257 --> 01:36:19,158
Don't ask me
about null and void.
1874
01:36:19,159 --> 01:36:21,727
It's a legal term.
Very complicated.
1875
01:36:21,728 --> 01:36:25,564
The point is
you can't wish for something
that's already happened.
1876
01:36:25,565 --> 01:36:29,701
Your parents got back together
on their own,
so that canceled out your wish.
1877
01:36:29,702 --> 01:36:31,937
Wh-- Really?
Really.
1878
01:36:31,938 --> 01:36:34,173
So it turns out
you had another wish coming.
1879
01:36:34,174 --> 01:36:37,342
I didn't have much time,
so I just put in what
you asked for in your letter.
1880
01:36:37,343 --> 01:36:40,412
My letter? I thought you said
you didn't read it.
1881
01:36:40,413 --> 01:36:44,317
Oh, I was in the bathroom
doing my business
and I needed something.
1882
01:36:45,585 --> 01:36:46,619
My letter.
1883
01:36:47,387 --> 01:36:49,556
I didn't know
I could wish for that.
1884
01:36:50,356 --> 01:36:52,525
You can wish for
anything you want, kid.
1885
01:36:53,426 --> 01:36:54,561
It's Christmas.
1886
01:36:57,363 --> 01:36:59,065
See ya!
1887
01:37:27,927 --> 01:37:30,262
Rudolph the Reindeer pastries.
Bill!
1888
01:37:30,263 --> 01:37:33,665
Okay, first off,
it's Rudolph
the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
1889
01:37:33,666 --> 01:37:36,868
Wha--
And these are actually
your all-time worst.
1890
01:37:36,869 --> 01:37:39,104
What?
They--
They look like seals.
1891
01:37:39,105 --> 01:37:40,272
Seals?
Yeah.
1892
01:37:40,273 --> 01:37:41,540
No, they've got antlers.
No.
1893
01:37:41,541 --> 01:37:42,941
They're anatomically correct.
Okay.
1894
01:37:42,942 --> 01:37:44,676
I-- Don't--
No.
1895
01:37:44,677 --> 01:37:47,347
Like, why are you...
I think I nailed the back.
1896
01:37:52,685 --> 01:37:56,055
...nice touch, gumdrop nose...
1897
01:37:57,123 --> 01:37:59,125
I think I nailed the back.
1898
01:38:00,193 --> 01:38:01,427
Dear Santa.
1899
01:38:02,895 --> 01:38:06,598
I know it's ridiculous
that I'm writing you
this letter.
1900
01:38:06,599 --> 01:38:09,268
After all, I'm 11.
1901
01:38:09,269 --> 01:38:12,672
But, hey,
I figure it can't hurt.
1902
01:38:16,276 --> 01:38:18,577
I know this is
a crazy thing to ask for.
1903
01:38:18,578 --> 01:38:20,846
Thank you so much.
Thank you. I just--
You got it. Yeah.
1904
01:38:20,847 --> 01:38:26,519
But if anyone
is used to being asked
for crazy things, it's you.
1905
01:38:27,820 --> 01:38:29,522
Merry Christmas.
1906
01:38:31,491 --> 01:38:34,026
Well, look who's up.
Merry Christmas, buddy.
1907
01:38:34,027 --> 01:38:35,694
Why don't you go see
what Santa brought you?
1908
01:38:35,695 --> 01:38:38,431
I only want
one thing for Christmas.
1909
01:38:39,732 --> 01:38:41,400
And I'm pretty sure
1910
01:38:41,401 --> 01:38:44,003
I'll only want
one thing for
the rest of my life.
1911
01:38:44,904 --> 01:38:47,006
Please, please...
1912
01:38:48,975 --> 01:38:50,576
can you bring my brother back?
1913
01:38:52,011 --> 01:38:53,146
Yes!
1914
01:39:01,187 --> 01:39:03,489
Hey, Liam. Merry Christmas.
1915
01:39:06,459 --> 01:39:09,828
What are you waiting for?
Open up your presents.
1916
01:39:09,829 --> 01:39:11,130
I just did.
1917
01:39:13,132 --> 01:39:14,467
What are you doing?
1918
01:39:16,402 --> 01:39:18,637
Mom, can you tell Liam to
stop it?
1919
01:39:21,741 --> 01:39:23,308
I love you so much.
1920
01:39:23,309 --> 01:39:26,645
Okay, okay. I love you too.
Ma, tell him to let go of me.
1921
01:39:26,646 --> 01:39:29,348
You know how much
Liam loves Christmas, Spence.
1922
01:39:29,349 --> 01:39:32,118
Get 'em while they're hot!
Oh, no.
1923
01:39:32,819 --> 01:39:34,186
Wow.
Chef Dad.
1924
01:39:34,187 --> 01:39:35,554
So delicious. Thanks.
1925
01:39:35,555 --> 01:39:37,389
Who's this from?
The Harrisons.
1926
01:39:37,390 --> 01:39:38,957
From the old neighborhood?
Yeah.
1927
01:39:38,958 --> 01:39:40,359
Yeah. I liked them.
1928
01:39:40,360 --> 01:39:42,227
They had a skating rink
in their backyard
1929
01:39:42,228 --> 01:39:43,428
and the pug who chased pucks.
1930
01:39:43,429 --> 01:39:45,430
That's right.
God, I miss them.
1931
01:39:45,431 --> 01:39:47,699
Remind me why
we ever left Connecticut.
1932
01:39:47,700 --> 01:39:50,302
Because you wanted to move.
1933
01:39:50,303 --> 01:39:53,839
My pony!
What?
Oh, my God.
1934
01:39:53,840 --> 01:39:55,574
I got my fricking pony!
1935
01:39:55,575 --> 01:39:58,244
Oh, my God, Bill.
1936
01:39:58,878 --> 01:40:01,580
Oh, my.
Bill.
1937
01:40:01,581 --> 01:40:03,448
Thank you, sweetie.
1938
01:40:03,449 --> 01:40:04,916
Me? I...
1939
01:40:04,917 --> 01:40:07,419
Oh, okay. All right.
Well, I should be the one
thanking you.
1940
01:40:07,420 --> 01:40:10,289
Why didn't you tell me
you found the tree topper?
1941
01:40:11,124 --> 01:40:12,424
I-I didn't find it.
1942
01:40:12,425 --> 01:40:15,294
Okay, yeah, right.
As if I believe you.
1943
01:40:18,364 --> 01:40:20,199
Yeah. Okay. You...
1944
01:40:23,269 --> 01:40:24,736
Best Christmas ever.
1945
01:40:34,380 --> 01:40:36,982
It's fine. All right?
Yeah. I think so.
1946
01:40:36,983 --> 01:40:38,550
Hey, Gibby. Merry Christmas.
1947
01:40:38,551 --> 01:40:40,519
Yeah. Yeah. You too.
1948
01:40:40,520 --> 01:40:45,290
So, did it kick in yet,
you being with team Satan now?
1949
01:40:45,291 --> 01:40:47,259
No. Long story.
1950
01:40:47,260 --> 01:40:49,161
But everything turned out great.
1951
01:40:49,162 --> 01:40:50,695
And I got my soul back.
1952
01:40:50,696 --> 01:40:52,597
Wow.
1953
01:40:52,598 --> 01:40:53,598
Guess what.
1954
01:40:53,599 --> 01:40:56,401
Things are about to
get even better.
1955
01:40:56,402 --> 01:40:59,137
'Cause I just convinced Emma
to give you another chance.
1956
01:40:59,138 --> 01:41:01,540
Wait. Really?
How? What did you say?
1957
01:41:01,541 --> 01:41:05,143
Well, I know she's into
the whole sympathy thing,
1958
01:41:05,144 --> 01:41:07,480
so I told her about
your dead brother.
1959
01:41:09,982 --> 01:41:11,551
Uh-oh.
1960
01:42:58,958 --> 01:43:01,327
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
1961
01:45:05,618 --> 01:45:07,052
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
1962
01:45:07,053 --> 01:45:08,687
Hold up.
1963
01:45:08,688 --> 01:45:11,156
Slow down, Lance Armstrong.
1964
01:45:11,157 --> 01:45:14,492
Oh, I do apologize.
I didn't realize
there were any cars coming.
1965
01:45:14,493 --> 01:45:17,429
Yeah. I'll tell you
when there's no cars.
1966
01:45:17,430 --> 01:45:19,065
Oh, my.
1967
01:45:22,435 --> 01:45:28,173
I must say,
I appreciate a woman who is
keen to her professional duties.
1968
01:45:28,174 --> 01:45:31,109
Now, may I be so bold
as to ask...
1969
01:45:31,110 --> 01:45:33,244
Yes?
1970
01:45:33,245 --> 01:45:35,180
What is it
you're doing here today?
1971
01:45:35,181 --> 01:45:38,016
I mean, do they have you
working on Christmas Day?
1972
01:45:38,017 --> 01:45:39,284
Oh.
1973
01:45:39,285 --> 01:45:41,653
No, I sorta
just showed up.
1974
01:45:41,654 --> 01:45:43,388
Didn't have
anything else going on.
1975
01:45:43,389 --> 01:45:47,726
I actually had
nothing going on either,
so I... I don't know.
1976
01:45:47,727 --> 01:45:50,730
I thought I'd just
go for a bike ride.
1977
01:45:51,897 --> 01:45:53,398
Uh, please, go ahead.
Right.
1978
01:45:53,399 --> 01:45:54,532
Yeah.
1979
01:45:54,533 --> 01:45:56,601
You wouldn't,
by chance, uh,
1980
01:45:56,602 --> 01:46:01,106
be interested in heading over
to the Royal Garden perhaps?
1981
01:46:01,107 --> 01:46:02,774
Eating some Chinese food.
1982
01:46:02,775 --> 01:46:04,209
Maybe watching some hoops.
1983
01:46:04,210 --> 01:46:06,746
I think they have
the best crab rangoons in town.
1984
01:46:07,880 --> 01:46:10,516
But of course--
I don't mean to put you out.
1985
01:46:11,650 --> 01:46:13,318
You had me at "rangoons."
1986
01:46:13,319 --> 01:46:14,986
Then it's a date.
1987
01:46:14,987 --> 01:46:16,322
Hop on, milady.
1988
01:46:17,323 --> 01:46:21,459
Second thought, uh,
how about we take a brisk walk?
1989
01:46:21,460 --> 01:46:22,460
Oh.
1990
01:46:22,461 --> 01:46:23,728
Shall I?
Yeah.
1991
01:46:23,729 --> 01:46:25,663
Let's shove off.
1992
01:46:25,664 --> 01:46:27,565
You must be from England.
Are you?
1993
01:46:27,566 --> 01:46:30,468
Jersey.
New Jersey, actually. Yes.
1994
01:46:30,469 --> 01:46:31,970
The Princeton area of course.
1995
01:46:31,971 --> 01:46:33,705
That explains the accent.
1996
01:46:33,706 --> 01:46:35,273
Yes. Yes, yes.
146762
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