Original subtitles

Oh, shitters! Shit, shit!

Okay, here we go.

There we go, that's good.

Motherfucking shit. Fuck.

Oh good, you made it!

Yes! Yeah. I had to

drop off Mom's cream cheese and corn casserole.

What do you have here? Let me guess.

Is this Sheri Berry's famous

turkey and homemade noodle casserole?

Yep.

- May I? - Oh, sure.

Oh, my God. I've been dreaming about this, Sheri.

- Oh, my God. - Yep.

Sheri! What's in that?

- Turkey and noodles. - You don't say!

Hey, Roscoe!

Hey, guys.

Hey, Jerry!

- Happy Thanksgiving! - Happy Thanksgiving.

Can I make you a plate?

Oh, no, no. I'm waiting for my friend.

Well, how long is he gonna keep you waiting?

- It's Thanksgiving. - Well, I hope soon.

But I had to leave the house. It was just too depressing in there.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Alright, well, holler if you need anything, okay?

I'll do that.

- Alright. - Okay.

Hey! You have time for a drink?

Fuck. My sister. I'm late.

Family is family, and friends are family, and you gotta love 'em all.

Do I?

Alright, well, happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

- Happy Thanksgiving. - Happy Thanksgiving.

God dammit.

Hey! How's your vag?

I have neighbors! Can we not be so vulgar?

Here. You're driving 'cause I'm drinking.

Did you already start?

Don't worry about it!

Okay.

You know, you're actually doing much better than I thought you'd be doing.

- Yeah, because I'm fine. - Good!

- Yep. - Good.

You know, it's just that, I mean,

Thanksgiving is supposed to be about family.

And now suddenly, Shannon wants to spend it with Rick?

I mean, we've never spent Thanksgiving apart her whole life, ever.

I mean, I just-- Why? I don't get it!

Why does she wanna hang out with that asshole?

She probably feels sorry for him.

And what is he going to feed her? I would love to know!

I mean, he can't cook! At all! As you know!

I swear to God, if he makes her a TV dinner,

I will rip that fucking dick off!

Trish, remember, you're gonna have her for Christmas, so.

- That doesn't help. - Look, let's just--

Let's just put it out of that pretty little head of yours, okay?

Okay, because we are gonna have so much fun today.

How?

Well, because we're gonna manifest it!

We're gonna manifest the shit out of it! We're gonna manifest fun.

We're gonna be mani-fucking-festing all fucking day.

We're gonna mani-fucking-fest it!

Yes! Manifest!

- Yes! Manifest! - Shut--

- Shut up. - Manifest!

Sound stupid when I say it, too?

- No. - Manifest!

What kind of pie you get?

- Your favorite. What is your favorite? - Pumpkin. That's not pumpkin.

I thought you liked blueberry.

I'm coming, I'm coming!

Happy Thanksgiving!

- Happy Thanksgiving. - Happy Thanksgiving.

- I have a little hostess gift for you. - That's so nice!

- Those are all Sam, not me. - Okay.

- She's depressed. - Yeah.

That's terrible! Well, can I get you a drink?

- Yes, this. - Oh, alright.

- Now. Do it. - I'll open her up.

- Happy Thanksgiving! - Happy Thanksgiving.

Snacks! Those look good.

- Hey, where do these pies go? - Right here.

- Okay. - I'll get you a beer, okay?

- Hi, guys. - Love that belt.

Sorry we're late. I got stuck at work.

Oh, my God!

- The piano's back! - Yeah.

How did that happen?

Well, it was actually very difficult.

Well, what'd you have to do?

It wasn't difficult at all! I'm just showing off.

I just called the family and we made a trade.

So now, they have a baby grand and you have Joel's old upright?

Yeah, it was important to Joel, so...

- Well, I'm glad she's back. - Me too.

Well, cheers, everybody! Thanks for letting me

crash your party. Happy Thanksgiving.

- Happy to have ya. - Thank you.

Excuse me. What was that?

- What's what? - What was that little, you know,

little winky, touchy, flirty, cutie thing?

I don't know what you're talking about.

- I mean... - Come on, kids, we're not buyin' it.

Love is in the air!

Are you serious?

- Holy shit. - Sammy, you're next.

- Come on, I don't know about that. - Well, you know,

Sam almost did just get a little fur baby.

I don't like that word, "fur baby."

Okay, sorry, dog, but whatever.

- You did? - Oh, my God, you gotta do it.

- It'll change your life. - Yeah. I mean,

I told her it'd be a huge responsibility, but...

I don't know if I want some dog shitting all over my house.

We tried that with Roger.

I love this new picture wall! This is fun.

Oh, yeah. We're trying a few new things out.

Fred and I were trying to figure out who everyone is.

Are those kids your nephews?

No, those are my boys.

Excuse me?

They're adorable. They look just like you.

Well, I should go carve those turkeys.

Holy shit, that's a lot of meat!

You're empty.

We can't have that!

Okay, now before we start,

we need someone to say grace.

Sam?

Oh, you're serious. Brad, I'm not really a grace person.

Sammy, come on. We're all doing new stuff tonight.

Look what I'm doing. I'm eating tater tots from an air fryer!

You really can't tell the difference.

I'll be the judge of that, Brad.

You know, I think you should do it. You're good at this stuff.

I'd rather watch you do it.

Fuck you.

Okay.

Here goes.

Jesus.

- That's his name, right? - Stop.

There is so much to be thankful for this year.

We would like to start by thanking You for these most precious gifts.

Number one, for all the wonderful people

- gathered here today. - Here, here.

Number two, for all the num-nums we're about to mow down on.

Here, here!

Number three, the Pinot Grigio.

That was for you.

Fuck it. We'd like to thank You for my sister.

Here, here!

We'd like to thank You for those crescent rolls,

which I will be fucking up soon.

And did I miss anything?

- No, I think you did good. - Oh, no!

For our wonderful hosts.

So, praise be, blessed be, and hallowed be Thy name.

- Cheers! - How'd I do?

I love a prayer that has the word "fuck" in it

and turns into a toast.

Okay, dig in!

Sammy, I want some meat!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Can I have the sweet potatoes?

I thought I said these were all for me.

Okay, but, that is a lot of gravy.

Brad, did you make everything?

- Potatoes. - I peeled half of the potatoes,

and I did air fry the tater tots.

- Yes, he did. - Oh, okay!

So, Brad,

international man of mystery.

I can't believe you had this whole other life.

Oh, well...

Who needs wine?

- Please. - Thirsty? You thirsty, Irma?

I'm good with my beer. So don't worry about that.

Yeah? You want some wine?

How often do you get to see your boys?

Not as often as I'd like. They're busy with their own kids.

You're a grandpa?

Yes, that's how it works.

Very funny. Does that make you a grandpa, too?

No, that's not how it works.

Oh, Brad, I bet you were just the most incredible father.

We don't have to talk about this.

Brad doesn't mind. Do you mind, Brad?

No.

So, tell us. You were married...

Yes, I married Amy right out of high school.

So young!

Well, we were both very religious,

and that's just what you did in those days.

Yeah.

I cannot even imagine that.

Well, I loved her.

And she was my best friend, so it seemed normal.

And I didn't wanna be the way I was, so I tried being someone else.

But, eventually, I needed to

be honest

about who I was.

So, we got divorced

and I moved to Manhattan, far enough away

that I wasn't a distraction, but close enough that I could see my boys.

If she would allow it.

And did she allow it?

Not often.

It was complicated.

It was our situation. And

in all fairness, how could she accept me when I couldn't accept myself?

I will never understand people like that.

Love is love!

Yes.

And I still love her.

She's a good person. I just...

We don't...

She doesn't see the world the way I do.

That's all.

Well, at least you have Joel now, right?

And all of us. We love you, kid.

Well, I'm

very grateful to whatever brought me to this moment.

I didn't mean to bring down the room.

I don't know how I made this about myself.

You didn't.

Tell me, how's the turkey?

- It's good, right? - So good.

- Yeah, it's amazing. - Very moist.

- Just like Tricia. - Sam, no!

- Oh, my God. - That's all you do.

- You just talk about your Escalade... - No! Stop!

- ...and your vagina. - Stop! Stop!

Oh, my God!

Anyway, stop talking. What Susan said, love is love.

Who are you and what have you done with my sister?

Brad, I just think you are the sweetest thing.

And I'm so happy you found your person.

And

thank you for sharing all of that with us, and

thank you for including me today.

Hey, we're a family.

Nope, you're not gonna make me cry, Fred. Not doing it.

Yeah, the only person allowed to make us cry

on Thanksgiving is our mother. Thank you.

Isn't it so great

our better halves get along so well?

Yes!

Alright, kids, well, I gotta warm up the car for the lady.

- Who's going to Catch Club tomorrow? - I'm in.

I'll be there. Already doing my stretches, Coach.

That's what I like to hear, Sammy!

Alright, don't forget to bundle up. No complainers tomorrow, right?

- No complaining. - Alright, kids, toodles.

- Toodles. - Have a great night.

Thanks a lot. See ya.

Oh, my God, is he blind? Were we not just at the same dinner?

I mean, she would not stop.

I mean, even after everything he's been through,

she's still not done with him.

- God. - Sam!

I can't believe you almost got a dog!

I know.

I don't know, I thought it'd be nice to have something

soft to come home and touch.

But then, some young couple swooped him up, so.

- I think you should try again. - We'll see.

Okay, don't fall!

She's ripped!

They both are.

Yeah, I think you're right.

You know, all that, all that Brad stuff.

I guess I don't always think about

what other people are walking around with, you know?

Yeah.

I really could not understand

why you would wanna give up having kids.

I mean, it's been so important to you.

I just...

I don't know, I thought that you were

changing who you are to make somebody else happy, you know.

But I get it.

I really do. It's...

I guess it's all part of

loving someone.

Yeah.

You make people happy.

You do. You really do, Joel.

It's a gift.

I guess it's the Joel Anderson effect.

It is!

Take me home!

- I am drunk! - Look at you!

- Joel, I love you. - I love you!

- I had the best day! - Oh, good!

- The best! - I'm so glad!

Yes!

- Me, too! - See? The Joel Anderson effect.

That's the Pinot Grigio effect.

I mean, you did serve her quite a bit of Pinot Grigio.

I like a heavy pour. You don't have to get up.

Alright, FaceTime me for tuck-ins?

Always.

Oh, my God, we gotta talk about Irma and Tiffani!

I don't understand what's happening!

- I mean, is that true? - It has to be.

I can't-- Okay, we'll talk.

I need to sit with that for a second.

I do.

- Happy Thanksgiving. - Joel! You're the best!

Happy Thanksgiving. Bye, Tricia!

- I can't get it into the thing! - Oh, geez.

Let me.

Joel! I love you!

Bye!

Tricia.

Hi. Hi, honey.

Hey.

God, I hope this isn't weird.

You know, I was just at my friend's house

for Thanksgiving, and he made two enor--

He made a lot of turkey.

There, there's, like, 40 pounds of turkey.

Anyway, I know you guys, you love your meat,

and so I thought, well, you know,

it's the holidays, and

I wanted to bring you some.

And, I think--

I think Wesley will like it. I think you'll like it.

Thank you.

Can I give him...?

Yeah! It's...

Wanna try it?

There you go.

- He likes it. Okay. - He does.

Good.

God, I shoulda called. I'm really sorry, but...

I don't know, it's Thanksgiving, I wasn't sure if you guys celebrated,

and you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving.

So.

- Thanks for the meat. - Well, you're welcome.

Can I ask you a question?

Sure.

Do you ever drink beer with anybody other than Jerry?

No.

Oh, okay.

Well, I was just curious.

God, I'm sorry, I shoulda called here.

Have a great Thanksgiving, and I'm gonna--

I'm gonna take Tricia home.

Oh, my God.

This mailbox is full and cannot accept any messages--

Are you okay?

Yeah, I just wanted to call and wish Dad a Happy Thanksgiving.

Okay. Just

- wake me up when we get home. - I will.

I never would've thought to do it that way in a million years!

But it works, right?

It sure does, yeah.

You know what? Gimme that pan. I think I can fit it in.

I think that might be one step too far for me.

- Okay. - I can't.

We can work our way up to that.

Oh, God, wasn't it so great having everyone here tonight?

I just really needed that.

It was really nice.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

I hope Susan didn't--

It was fine.

Okay, your tea is ready.

I'm gonna go up to bed.

You want me to plug in your phone?

No, no, I'll be up in just a minute.

Okay. I'll see you up there.

Okay.

I'll do that later.

Hello.

Sam!

Wait.

Oh, I see.

Hey, it's me. I'm calling for tuck-ins.

I just wanted you to be the first to know that you have officially made the fridge.

I'm not sure Brad's gonna be wild about the choice of magnet,

but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

I guess that's it.

Okay!

Talk to you soon. Love you.

Hey.

- We're home? - Yeah.

- So tired. - I know you are.

Okay, I'm gonna just get you like this.

- Like a little-- - Is this a piggyback?

Yeah, like a little sack of potatoes.

Up--

Okay, here we go.

- Did I do it wrong? - No, you did it great.

Gonna take you, and get you up into bed.

Oh, God!

- Are you okay? - Yeah.

You know Shannon didn't even bother to call me back today?

She didn't?

I'm sorry.

Maybe the day just got away from her.

Maybe.

Thanks for letting me tag along tonight.

- Did you have fun? - Yes, your friends are great.

Yeah, they're a good group, right?

Okay, well, I'm just gonna go

hang out on the couch if you need me, okay?

There's some water here.

Night.

- Sam? - Yeah?

Will you sing me something?

You want me to sing to you?

Okay. What do you wanna hear?

Something sweet.

Okay.

Hey, lady

You lady

Cursin' at your life

You're a discontented mother

- And a regimented wife - And a regimented wife

I've no doubt you dream about

The things you'll never do

But I wish someone had a-talked to me

Like I wanna talk to you

- Good night. - Love you.

- Turn the lights back on! - You're drunk.

Hi.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

And how'd you know where I live?

It's on the contact sheet by the phone.

Oh, right.

So, I wanted to...

I want to answer your question.

That's okay. You already did.

No, I wanted to finish answering your question.

- Okay. - I mean, it--

It is true that I only drink beer with Jerry.

But when you asked, I didn't wanna assume

that you wanted to

drink beer with me.

Well, I did.

You did?

Yeah.

I would like to drink a beer with you.

Really?

Really.

Jesus, you're hard to read.

- I'm Icelandic. - Is that a thing?

I don't think it is.

Well, you're kind of funny.

I did not know that.

Full of surprises.

Well, I'd love to, but I can't right now.

- You know, it's not even noon. - Yeah.

I like to start the day with some eggs and coffee

and then, you know...

But actually, I'm gonna go meet my friends in the park.

We...

we play catch.

It's a lot cooler than it sounds.

Well, yeah, it sounds pretty cool.

Does it?

Maybe don't drive by the park for the next 90 minutes.

You might change your mind.

So, I can,

I can call you?

Yeah.

I'd like that.

Good.

Great.

It was good to see you.

- Yeah. - Okay.

Okay.

Okay, bend the knees!

No tree trunks!

- Call it! - I've got--

- No, you get it. - I think I've got it!

Hey! I'm here!

- Hey, Sammy! - Sam! Come!

- Where do you want me, Coach? - Actually,

if you just stand behind Joel or Brad,

- you'll get some action. - I'm ready.

- Okay. - How dare you!

Hey.

What did I tell you?

Help her out, help her out, help her out!