Original subtitles

Since before recorded time,

it had swung through the universe

in an elliptical orbit so large

that it's very existence remained a secret of time and space.

But now, in the last few years of the 20th century,

the visitor was returning.

The citizens of Earth would get an extra Christmas present this year,

as their planet orbited through the tail of the comet.

Scientists predicted a light show of stellar proportions,

something not seen on Earth for 65 million years.

Indeed, not since the time

that the dinosaurs disappeared, virtually overnight.

There were a few who saw this as more than just a coincidence,

but most didn't.

SONG PLAYING: ♪ Whole World is Celebratin' ♪

♪ Going to a great big party ♪

♪ The whole world is gonna turn out ♪

♪ Everybody's set for a good time ♪

♪ Boys, this is the big one ♪

♪ The whole world is celebratin' ♪

♪ People gettin' ready, yeah ♪

♪ The whole world is celebratin' ♪

♪ Tonight is the final romance ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, yeah ♪

I'm showing you the top of the line here.

This is the best we have. This is $9.50.

Now this... $9.50?

But wait, this is $8. Okay? This is $7.50.

This lady over here, she's wearing the $7.50.

Yeah, right. Let me tell you about this.

♪ The whole world is celebratin' ♪

♪ Tonight is the final romance ♪

♪ Hey, baby ♪

♪ The whole world is celebratin' ♪

♪ Gazing at the thing in the sky ♪

♪ The whole world is celebratin' ♪

♪ Tonight is the final romance ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, yeah ♪

Blow on it.

See? See how nice that is? Isn't that great?

Now, I know you got $9.50.

♪ The whole world is celebratin' ♪

♪ Tonight is the final romance ♪

♪ Hey, baby ♪

♪ The whole world is celebratin' ♪

♪ Gazing at the thing in the sky ♪

And this spring, look at it. Isn't that nice?

And the other side. Look at it.

Isn't that great? It's $9.50.

Excuse me. Where's the men's room?

In a minute.

Hey, you work here or not?

Hey, Regina. Regina, give that thing a rest, will you?

In a minute, Mel.

Look, I don't pay you to do that kind of stuff around here.

Regina, I want you to clean everything up,

so we can get out of here in time to watch the comet.

Everything's cleaned up.

Damn!

I want you to take this flashlight and walk the house.

Aw, Mel, they throw things at me.

Who cares?

Walk the house.

Have you ever been hit with Dots, Mel?

Milk Duds?

Those things hurt.

I- I- I don't...

Oh, how are you, sir?

The refreshments are right over there.

Thank you. Thank you.

I don't want those weirdos cutting up the seats, you understand?

Okay. Okay, okay.

Replacing Reg in third place is Reg.

Third place.

Wait a minute.

Somebody named DMK in sixth place.

When did this happen?

MEL: Look, don't be an overachiever.

You'll fit in better with your age group, okay?

This is really annoying.

Regina. Regina, look this way.

Regina, look at me!

Read my lips.

Flashlight.

Walk house. Now.

Okay, Mel.

Let me take this for you.

That's great... There go the profits.

And listen, stay out of the projection booth.

And stay away from Dupree.

I'm gonna fire that guy someday.

He's been doing to me what he's been doing to her in the booth.

David, that was a scream.

DAVID: You're right.

I'm gonna check it out. You stay here.

LARRY: I'm talking about a mint-condition print of "It Came from Outer Space".

In 3-D, man.

Yeah, right.

(REPEATING IN SPANISH)

Look, you know as well as I do

you got film freaks that'd go down on you for a bootleg print of that.

100 bucks?

100 bucks? Right.

Something wrong with the phone here? Did I hear you say $100?

Look, $100 isn't gonna get it this time.

Because I'm gonna have to spend the night in here

waiting for you to bring the print back.

Think I'm gonna miss this comet thing for a lousy $100?

Help me!

Okay 110's a little better, yeah.

Hey, Reggie, here's the deal.

You leave, I let you in the backdoor.

Okay? I leave, you let me back in. Mel thinks everybody's gone.

Larry, do you know anybody named DMK?

No. Ahh!

No, you got to have the print back by 6:00 in the morning.

You know, if we spend the night in here, we're gonna miss the comet.

It's not like you can't see it on television, you know.

All right, hey. Get your guy here in an hour.

Yeah, well, maybe I want to see it for real, okay?

Hey, television's real.

Television's very real.

So, what do you say? I'll give you $15.

Are you kidding?

We spend the night in here, we end up making it and you give me 15 bucks?

Do you know what that makes me look like?

Reggie, I'm not giving you $15 for making it with me.

Okay, well, just so we have that straight, okay?

Yeah, for sure.

I mean, you'd be worth a lot more than $15. Everybody knows that.

The first Earthlings to see the effects will be in Newfundland.

Or Newfoundland.

This is expected to begin at 2:04.

- That's Pacific Standard Time. - Hey Sammy, Sammy, Sammy.

Uh, interesting, uh, sidebar to this story is- is the fact

that all telecommunications seem to be out in that part of the world.

Um, this could have...

Hello.

Samantha, you sound pissed.

I just had it out with Doris once and for all again.

She wants me to, like, haul chips and dips around for her little comet party.

Yeah, well, speaking of Doris... look, I need your help.

Tell her that you know all about this field trip that I'm gonna take, okay,

with my science class.

We're gonna go to the observatory to watch the comet.

She won't go for it.

She'll go for it. Just tell her, okay?

Okay.

Doris? Reggie's on the phone.

She's not having car trouble.

She's gonna be out all night with her science class at the observatory.

I know all about it.

Yeah, hi, Doris.

DORIS: What's this about a science class, Regina?

Well, you want me to do better in science, don't you?

I want you home in five minutes after you finish work.

If you want to watch the comet, you can do it here.

Look, Doris- Like, I'm 18, okay,

and I can watch the comet wherever I want to watch the comet.

Here, Samantha, you and your sister share a lot of secrets.

I want you to share this one with her.

If it were up to me, I couldn't care less what she did.

But if your father makes it back home without some Sandinista

blowing his brains out,

he's gonna hold me responsible for any kind of trouble

you two girls get into.

What we have here is a chain of command.

The Major jumps on me, I jump on you.

Did you get that?

Okay.

Now, are you going to join the party?

Join the party for what Doris?

So, I can watch Chuck from across the street

stick his hands down your pants?

I think that's something Daddy should know.

Chuck's a nice guy.

He's certainly nice to be with while Daddy's down in Banana Land.

You were born with an asshole, Doris. You don't need Chuck.

Looks like a--a--a real nice crowd we have out here tonight.

Chucky.

Hey, where have you been? You're gonna miss everything. It's going to start.

Oh, kids. I'll never marry another man with kids.

In 1910, Halley's comet returned.

Everybody thought they were going to die then.

What was that?

Look!

You wanna know what bugs me about all this?

What?

Well, I'm always afraid someone's gonna see us, you know?

See us how? There's no windows. They can't see through walls.

Well, Superman can see through walls.

Not these walls. They're made out of steel. Used to be a fire law.

Superman can see through steel.

No, it's the one thing he cannot see through.

That's lead, you nerd.

Lead?

Yeah. I mean, Superman can see through steel

like it wasn't there, even.

Huh.

Larry!

Well, I guess I'm the only one

who's not outside watching the meteor shower.

I just might put the radio station on autopilot

and sneak out myself.

NOW PLAYING: ♪ "It Came Upon A Midnight Clear" ♪

♪ ...song of old

♪ From angels bending near the Earth ♪

RADIO BROADCAST: This is the Big K of Los Angeles.

A great-looking morning in southern California.

50,000 watts of oil, steel, and passion FM in the a.m.

It's wake-up time in the City of Angels and I'm Steve LaBeau.

LARRY: God damn it!

What? What?

I've been waiting by that door for the last 30 minutes

and that pinhead hasn't brought the film back yet.

Oh, give the guy a break.

I mean, people are late sometimes.

No, something's wrong.

If he screwed that film up,

we could all be in a lot of trouble.

I'm gonna go over there on the bike.

Oh, jeez! Don't I get an Egg McMuffin or anything?

You could do me a favor.

I did you a favor last night.

If that guy calls,

you tell him I'm on my way over

and I'm very, very, very, very pissed.

Hey, what about my 15 bucks?

Tell him you're pissed, too.

DMK.

You trust people, you get screwed over every goddamn time.

Is that you?

Yeah, it's about frigging time.

NOW PLAYING: ♪ "Strong Heart" ♪

♪ Winners have to pay the price ♪

♪ So, if you want my advice ♪

♪ Something baby... ♪

That's the end of you, DMK.

You're history.

♪ You've got to have a strong heart ♪

♪ A burning desire ♪

♪ If you want our love to survive ♪

♪ You've got to have a strong heart ♪

♪ A soul of fire ♪

♪ To keep our love alive ♪

♪ You've got your troubles I've got some, too ♪

♪ You say you don't know what to do ♪

♪ Instead of running away ♪

♪ Try and listen to what I say... ♪

♪ Talk of leaving giving me the blues ♪

♪ 'Cause you've got to have a strong heart ♪

♪ A burning desire ♪

♪ If you want our love to survive ♪

God, bad smog.

Shit!

Shit!

Oh, damn it!

Just great!

I don't believe this, there's clothes everywhere!

I hate days that start like this.

Okay.

Oh, damn it, damn it!

Oh, gross.

Larry?

Whoa.

What is this? Trick or treat?

Come here.

What?

Come here!

Come here, your ass.

Uh, look, I don't know what your scene is,

but don't do anything stupid, okay?

No, you don't seem to understand.

I've been trained to take care of myself.

You know what I'm saying? I don't want to hurt you.

Oh, shit.

No!

Let go of me!

No!

Come on, come on, come on!

♪ ...one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ O'er the fields we go ♪

♪ Laughing all the way ♪

♪ Bells on bobtail ring ♪

♪ Making our spirits bright ♪

♪ What fun it is to ride and sing ♪

♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪

♪ Jingle bells...? ♪

Samantha?

Doris?

Samantha? What?

God. What are you trying to do? Give me a heart attack?

I thought you were Doris.

You know, she decked me last night.

Knocked one of my teeth loose, even.

Wait till Daddy hears about that.

You know how he's always telling me to be careful with my mouth

on account of the dental plan doesn't cover anything cosmetic.

Ooh, anyway, get this.

I think Chuck and Doris spent the night together last night.

Wait till Daddy hears about that.

I mean, even if he isn't pissed off about my mouth,

which I can't imagine.

What's happening?

Oh, yeah, I guess you are a little confused.

PLAYING ON STEREO: ♪ "Unbelievable" ♪

God, you look terrible.

I ran away last night after she slugged me.

Left a note and everything,

but I didn't have any place to go.

So, I spent the night in a lawn storage shed.

It was pretty gross with the Synerol and everything.

God, look at this kitchen.

I'm not cleaning this up.

So anyway, since I was still here this morning,

I thought, hey, I'll go to pep squad practice and split after.

Except for I don't know if pep squad practice is on or not.

I can't get anybody on the phone.

Sammy, you can't get anybody on the phone because everybody is gone.

What? Could you grab the milk, please?

I swear to God!

You made me swallow my gum.

There's nobody. I mean, there's nobody!

Oh, right. Nobody. I'm sure.

Come here. Hey!

Back off!

This sweater cost 80 bucks.

Muffy?

Stupid dog.

Look! Look at this!

At what?

Doris isn't at Chuck's. I'll show you Doris.

Here's Doris.

This is all that's left of her, this and dust.

Look, here's Chuck.

Where are the kids?

REGINA: It's Saturday morning.

Where are the goddamn kids?

♪ How you could be so unbelievable ♪

♪ It's beyond me ♪

♪ Now I'm beside you ♪

♪ Oh, oh, it's unbelievable ♪

They're around.

They're not around.

Look, if you're trying to scare me, you're doing it, okay?

I'm not trying to scare you. Then stop it.

I'm not doing it.

You try calling someone. Not just your pep squad. Anyone.

Nobody's home!

Unbelievable, that's song no.16 on the survey this week.

Don't forget, we preview the top 20 every Friday night-

A great way to start a super weekend here in the south land.

♪ Get down! ♪

NOW PLAYING: ♪ "Trouble" ♪

♪ I will be watching you tonight ♪

♪ My name is Trouble ♪

♪ Trouble... ♪

♪ Run but you can never hide ♪

REGINA: Are you sure this is the radio station?

Yeah. Just go on in.

Well, don't push.

♪ I can tell by the look in your eyes ♪

♪ That you've had your way before ♪

♪ And I've heard about those broken hearts ♪

♪ Leadin' to your door ♪

Do you think whatever happened, happened everywhere?

Like in Burbank or places like that?

We'll ask the DJ. He does the news, doesn't he?

Search me. I always change the channel when the news comes on.

♪ You're gonna need some help ♪

REGINA: Here's something in here.

♪ 'Cause I'm trouble Trouble ♪

♪ I'll be watching you tonight ♪

REGINA: So, where is he?

♪ My name is trouble Trouble ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, you better treat me right ♪

I mean, somebody has to run this stuff, don't they?

"We've got Trouble. Not Us". That's the name of the song

and I'm Steve LaBeau, trapped inside your radio-

The guy who really cares about you.

I mean, who else would sit in this little box every day just to play music for you?

Well, it's time to reach into the old mailbag here. Got a letter from...

Beam me up, Scotty.

Okay girls, hold it right there.

You, the blonde, get into the light.

Wait.

Why don't you just let my sister go

and maybe you and I can work something out.

I'm not going anywhere! Shut up!

You got the wrong idea. You, into the light.

I'll give you to five. One, two... No?

All right. Let's try it this way.

Five, four, three...

Okay, okay.

Do you get a lot of dates this way?

Open your eyes.

NOW PLAYING: ♪ "Lady in Love" ♪

Okay.

Hey, I know what you're thinking, but...

REGINA: That you're a cretin?

Sweetheart, you haven't seen those freaked-out zombies running around here?

Yeah, I was jumped by one.

Well, you got off lucky.

Me and this girl pulled into town this morning.

You don't work here?

No. I drive a truck.

I was heading to San Diego with this girl I picked up.

We were looking for a gas station.

That's when we spotted one of those...

Whatever they are.

Looked like it was eating...

Looked like it was eating a cat.

A dead cat?

Semi-dead.

Who'd want to eat a live cat?

Beats the shit out of me.

This girl freaked out.

Took off running.

I spotted her about 20 minutes later.

Looked like one of those things had... What?

Torn her apart.

Oh, God.

Larry.

Oh, shit.

What's with her?

I think she's going to be sick or something.

A guy she knew...

Same thing might have happened.

Is it safe around here, do you think?

Yeah.

I checked it out.

♪ Oh, she's a lady ♪

Swell.

Are you all right?

My name's Hector.

What's yours?

Just leave me alone, okay?

Look, I... I know we got off on the wrong foot,

but considering what the alternative is,

I think we should try to get along.

What do you say?

Listen, this is no time for an attitude problem.

Your little sister seems to be taking this a lot better than you.

That's 'cause she doesn't know what's going on.

And you do, I suppose.

Whatever is going on isn't just here. It's everywhere.

She thinks we're gonna be rescued,

that our dad's gonna come back from Honduras

with the goddamn Green Berets.

She could be right.

Give us a break, Hector.

Where did you spend the night last night?

I spent the night in the back of my truck with the girl I picked up.

What else do you want to know? Skip it.

Steel's gotta be the answer.

If Sam spent the night in the lawn storage shed...

What?

...again, I'm an employee. I can't.

Just our way of saying Merry Christmas to you from all of...

Testing, one, two, three, four.

This is Samantha Belmont,

one-third owner of the Greater Los Angeles Basin, speaking.

You guys?

Hey, is anybody there?

Where did you get this, a Dime Store?

Beats me. It was given to me.

Yeah, well, it might be all right for date night in the barrio,

but if we run into any more of those guys outside,

we're gonna need a little more stopping power.

Date night in the barrio?

NOW PLAYING: ♪ "Living On The Edge" ♪

♪ Now that you've got everything that you wanted ♪

♪ You're gonna have to learn to deal with a dream ♪

And here's some other changes.

Most of you guys had finals this week?

Later. They're history. They're canceled.

The legal drinking age is now 10.

But, you will need ID. Let's be real.

I'll be taking take requests from all you teenage comet zombies on the hit line.

That's 555-4487.

Get it? 555-HITS!

Do you know where the armed forces reserve center is at Los Alamitos?

Yeah.

My dad used to take us there for target practice.

They store automatic weapons there.

You know how to use them?

Come on, Hector.

MAC-10 sub-machine gun was practically designed for housewives.

I got a call.

It came in on the hit line.

Hello.

Hello.

It went dead. Did they say they were they okay?

I don't know. They said they were in the desert.

The desert? What desert was it? I don't know.

Shit! Think!

Why don't you just pull your gun on her?

Maybe you can scare it out of her.

They said they were, like, part of a think tank

or research group or something.

HECTOR: Where? Was it in this state?

I forget.

Okay. Let's take it real slow.

Did they mention a town?

Some place they were near, like maybe Blythe, Bishop?

REGINA: What about Edwards Air Force Base? If I knew, I'd tell you.

I didn't expect the call, you know. I didn't take notes or something.

Just try and remember.

If you think I'm not telling you something on purpose...

Well, if they'll stay put, we can get them.

HECTOR: ...leave anything out?

From a psychological standpoint,

the radio station represents a link to normalcy.

I don't think they'll wander far as long as it's operating.

Dr. Carter, I'd just like to say upfront I'm opposed to this.

There is no reason for us to bring those people

or any other survivors back here.

What about the disintegration factor?

You just want to let that happen?

We don't know that the condition is progressive.

OSCAR: I think we've established that, Audrey.

Partial protection seems to result in a slowing of the overall effect,

but progression is steady in any case.

Drying of the body fluids...

Oh, get to the point, Oscar.

We've heard this a thousand times. What about the dust?

Ultimately, there is nothing left but calcium dust.

Right. So, there isn't even enough hope to warrant bringing anybody back here.

So, what you're saying is, we shouldn't even try?

Right.

We don't want to be caught in the city after dark.

We'll leave tomorrow.

And we've had an indication of some survivors

in San Bernardino as well.

Four, maybe five.

HECTOR: Wait a minute. Wait, girls, just shut up.

Samantha! Did they say anything else? Anything?

SAMANTHA: Yeah. They said be careful on the street.

Because some people were exposed to the comet a little bit.

What happened to Doris is happening to them, only slower.

And, like, they're dangerous.

REGINA: Like what happened to Larry.

You're not going to blame me because the phone went dead.

I'm not the phone company.

Nobody is the phone company anymore.

What?

Cops?

Where were you guys earlier?

Oh, shit, my license.

Oh, shit!

I know you guys are probably going to give me a ticket or something,

but I'm really glad to see...

ANNOUNCER: ...the weekend comet sale. Everything must go.

Big savings on tuners, turntables, car stereos,

also demos of great damaged items.

This weekend only, Henry's Stereo Warehouse. Fourth and Alameda.

Free coffee for the adults. Free balloons for the kids.

NOW PLAYING: ♪ "Hard Act To Follow" ♪

♪ I've been looking everywhere ♪

♪ But nobody can compare ♪

♪ Go back you're a hard act to follow ♪

♪ I need you and I need your love ♪

♪ Go back you're a hard act to follow ♪

This is for your stepmom, you little punk.

They're here! They're here!

Where?

HECTOR: What's wrong? It's okay. I've got her.

You've got her? Yeah, I got her.

Sammy, Sam, it's only a dream.

I know.

I know.

ANNOUNCER: ...expand your career horizons. For a clearer view of...

Is there anything I can do?

I'm fine.

Interstate Technologies is an equal-opportunity employer.

Looks like the weather is shaping up for a great weekend.

You know, it's hard to believe

that there's only 11 more shopping days till Christmas.

Good luck finding a parking space

within hitchhiking distance of the malls, too.

You know how jammed it can get.

Is she okay?

Yeah, I guess so.

Come on in. Have a seat.

Listen, I have to go to San Diego tomorrow.

Why?

My mom.

Some friends. My sister.

But you know they're gone.

I know, but I still have to find out.

I mean, you guys know for sure, but I don't know.

Did you have, like, a close family?

Yeah, pretty close.

You? Not anymore.

My real mom hung around until my dad came back from Vietnam,

then she split.

So, it's been mostly me and Sam and Dad

and the 3rd special forces.

Smoke Bomb Hill.

Fort Bragg.

But then around about sixth or seventh grade,

it became real obvious that we weren't boys,

that we were never going to go to ranger school.

So, I guess Dad figured there was nothing more to offer us.

So, he found us a new mom and went off looking for a war.

What about the...

The guy. Larry?

Oh, he and I weren't going steady or anything like that.

Look, don't go to San Diego, okay?

I have to.

But I'll be back.

Please, okay?

What will you give me if I come back?

Texas.

Could give you Florida. Florida and Texas.

Florida, Texas and Hawaii.

Hawaii? I wanted Hawaii.

When I come back...

...I'll take you to dinner.

Your choice.

Here.

Great.

See? This is the problem with these things.

Daddy would have gotten us Uzis.

The car didn't know the difference.

So, did you make it with him last night?

Who?

The Good Humor Man. Who do you think?

Jeez. Is that what's bugging you?

That's no answer, man.

No, I didn't make it with him last night.

Why are you so weirded out?

Oh, right, Reg. Why should I be weirded out?

My sister, who swiped every guy I ever had my eye on

has now swiped the last guy

in the whole freaked-out world.

Mom!

Mother.

Mom.

I don't know who you are out there, but I have a gun.

So, if I were you, I'd split while I had a chance.

Okay?

Look, kid, just stay away. We don't want any.

Shit!

Get out of here, you little freak.

Lucky for you, I like kids.

Jeez! There goes the neighborhood.

Shit.

Audrey, what's the code?

We found survivors.

How long will the blood test take?

Not long.

I've talked with some of the others and we've decided

that it would be more beneficial

to conduct the blood tests in the field.

So, I want you to go to LA with the rest of the group.

Whatever the majority wants.

You don't seem to hold majority rule in very high regard.

If something's wrong, it's wrong.

Majority rule doesn't have anything to do with it.

But it goes straight to the core purpose of our group,

which is to survive.

You'll grant me that?

The core purpose never included bringing outsiders to the facility.

That's about the twelfth can you've downed this morning.

Thirsty.

Yeah, well, what're you gonna do

when your complexion freaks out?

Dermatologist is dead, you know.

I know and I'm getting a rash or something, too.

Oh, God. You and your rashes.

Hey, I'm sorry if the end of the world makes me a little nervous.

So, do you like him?

Come on, Sam.

I'm just interested.

Yeah, well, I guess so. I mean, he's nice.

There was this new guy at school. Paul Morgan.

He transferred from Taft. Junior.

I don't hang around with juniors much.

I liked him.

Hmm.

I mean, he was from Taft, but...

he was nice.

Kathy said he was probably gonna ask me out.

Kathy.

She was flunking algebra

and she was trying to figure out some way

to keep her parents from finding out.

This is really a lucky break for her.

No wonder I'm breaking out.

Think we could go home and change?

Look, why don't we get a little creative? What?

Do you have your, uh... Do you have your MasterCard on you?

No.

Good, 'cause you don't need it.

The stores are open!

NOW PLAYING: ♪ "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" ♪

♪I come home in the morning light ♪

♪ My mother says ♪

♪ "When you gonna live your life right?" ♪

♪ Oh, mama dear, we're not the fortunate ones ♪

♪ And girls they wanna have fun ♪

♪ Oh, girls just wanna have fun ♪

♪ The phone rings in the middle of the night ♪

♪ My father yells ♪

♪ "What you gonna do with your life?" ♪

♪ Oh, daddy dear, you know you're still number one ♪

♪ But girls they wanna have fun ♪

♪ Oh, girls just wanna have ♪

♪ That's all they really want ♪

♪ Some fun ♪

♪ When the working day is done... ♪

Hey, Reg, which do you like better?

This or this?

Um, second one.

Yeah. Definitely.

How come?

'Cause it'll stay in style longer.

REGINA: Come on. SAMANTHA: I guess you're right, actually.

REGINA: Yeah, we got to think of these things, you know?

All right, let's do it.

You know, I've been thinking-

Don't set any dangerous precedents.

What if Hector's got the same problem we have?

Such as?

Such as no guys.

What? Really.

I mean, what if Hector's gay?

I'm sure. Think it over.

You said he didn't come on to you last night.

So?

So, that means that the last guy on Earth

is either a gentleman or a fag.

I mean, what are the odds? In LA?

Things could be very interesting around here, Regina.

Attention, shoppers.

I trust you've got credit cards to pay for all that stuff.

NOW PLAYING: ♪ "Eyes On You" ♪

♪ I've got my eyes on you ♪

♪ I'm hypnotized by you ♪

♪ I'm watching every move ♪

♪ You satisfy my view ♪

♪ Your free and easy style... ♪

What's the matter? Lost something?

Check with lost and found on the second floor.

Didn't find this one.

You dirty rat.

Get her, boys!

BOTH: Whoa!

Bummer!

DOLL: Mommy. Take it easy.

Well, I think it's time to take the high ground.

Listen, you guys, we're expecting some friends here any minute.

Look, you just split now, okay and we'll tell them not to hurt you.

No imagination.

♪ I've got my eyes on you ♪

Look, over there.

♪ Your free and easy style ♪

♪ It makes my thoughts run wild ♪

SAMANTHA: Hey!

Hey! Eat glass, creeps!

How did you like that?

You guys are a bunch of wimps! You can't hit anything.

Hi.

Ta-da.

Get her.

♪ I've got my eyes on you! ♪

Knock that shit off!

Hello out there in Television Land.

All right. Here's the deal.

If bachelorette no.1 isn't out here in half a tick,

I'm gonna ice bachelorette no.2

Got it?

Come on.

Let her go.

I'm sorry, miss, I can't have you holding one of my people hostage.

Even if you pull the trigger, I can still take him out. And you.

Come on, Willy, she means it.

Miss, you're not getting the point.

I can't have you holding one of my people hostage.

You're crazy!

I'm not crazy. I just don't give a fuck.

What do you think, 20, 30 minutes?

No more.

They could be anywhere by now. Let's go back.

Let's apply a little deductive reasoning.

Deductive reasoning?

Where would adolescents with nothing to do go?

WILLY: See, we worked really hard to get ahead in this business, girls

and we don't get shit for it!

But we do it

because we know we can work our way up through the system

and the system works.

Why, just a few days ago, we were only stock boys.

Now we own the store. The American way.

And then, this happens.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about you coming in here and ripping us off.

What do you want?

You want us to pay for it? What?

You wouldn't believe what we want from you.

In your worst nightmare, you wouldn't believe.

Let's play a game. It's called "Scary Noises."

This is the closest shopping arcade,

but the whole area is an absolute monument to consumerism.

All we can do is hope.

Check all the floors, including the basement.

WILLY: Isn't that a scary noise?

Wanna hear it again?

Gosh! The suspense is killing me.

Let's do it again.

An E-ticket attraction. Let's do it again.

Now, wait a minute.

I don't think there's really a bullet in here.

No. Now, see there, it's loaded.

I just needed to be a little more patient.

I think this is it, girls. I really do.

Uh...

We're not with these guys.

Really, like, we just met them an hour ago.

I mean, look at this stuff. Look at this skirt.

It's ironic.

Of all the great minds of the world, all the great intellects,

who should survive?

Or almost survive?

I don't have to see the result of the blood test.

I can guess what they say about that one.

You're right.

It would be senseless to take her back.

Look, I'll stay and take care of it.

Then, if this Hector person shows up, I can run tests on him, too.

Of course, yeah. It would be out of the question to let you remain by yourself.

I'll stay here with you.

SAMANTHA: Listen, thanks for suggesting that I wait for Hector.

I mean, I know Reggie'll probably get him,

but I'd like to have a shot at it.

AUDREY: Samantha, I need you to lie down.

Hector's not exactly a fox,

but considering what's left, he's not bad.

He sounds cute.

Is he coming back?

Yeah.

But we should wait for him at the radio station.

That's where he'll go. What's that?

Um, I'm going to give you something.

For what?

Well, your skin's been a little irritated.

Yeah, a rash.

It could be a rash, but it could also be something else.

That's one of the main symptoms of...

The comet? No.

See, I always get rashes, like, when I have a fight with Doris

or I break up with a boyfriend.

It's nerves.

And you know, the way things have been going around here lately,

I'm surprised I don't look like strawberry Jell-O.

But if I do have that stuff, this will get rid of it, right?

Yeah.

God, you had me worried.

Don't worry. Just a pinch now.

Ow!

So, you guys are, like, geniuses, right?

Yeah, I thought so.

We have a couple of geniuses at my school.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

They're both wimps.

Is, uh...

Is that it?

What did you want me to do, Oscar,

take her out back and shoot her in the head?

I simply meant I was glad it was painless.

I don't think we have to stay around.

She didn't think that he was coming back.

I feel we can wait.

But, uh...

I feel the radio station is the more logical place.

Listen, Oscar, you were right about the condition being progressive,

but it is also accelerating, apparently.

We don't have weeks.

We have maybe hours. I don't know.

We have a commitment.

But I do know I don't have enough to debate the issue.

I am not going to be a party to taking anybody else back.

You have to live up to it.

What do you expect me to do, Oscar, go for my gun?

Of course not.

NOW PLAYING: ♪ "Tell Me Yourself" ♪

♪ Rock it ♪

♪ I admit I'm not perfect I'll grant you ♪

♪ I do whatever has to be done ♪

♪ Still, I find you responding up to ♪

♪ Something someone else has done ♪

♪ If there's one thing that I have control of ♪

♪ Tell me now before it gets too late ♪

♪ Look at me, let's break it open ♪

♪ Don't let the others tell our fate... ♪

It's 450 FM in the p.m. I'm Steve LaBeau,

and you're listening to 50,000 watts of rock 'n' roll

at the tower of power over the City of Angels.

♪ Tell me yourself ♪

NOW PLAYING: ♪ "Never Give Up" ♪

Reggie! Merry Christmas.

Reggie?

♪ Disappointed lady ♪

♪ You better get up off your knees... ♪

Samantha!

♪ No one said it'd be easy, babe ♪

♪ You got my sympathy ♪

Hi.

Hi.

Did you happen to see two girls running around here?

One is a cheerleader.

I'm not thinking straight.

I wrote everything down, but I think I misspelled it.

That pad on the table.

You need this?

No, thanks. I have one.

It seems to be the perfect Christmas gift this year.

I'm going to miss Christmas, permanently.

I want you to know that I thought they were talking hypothetically,

until they found the first survivors.

Then they really did it.

Some of those survivors were just kids.

Hey, wait a minute. What's all this about blood?

They think they can generate a serum.

A serum?

We were exposed.

Not a lot. Just enough.

They left the ventilating ducts wide open.

The fans going.

Very scientific.

Very stupid.

In 36 hours, you will be able to vacuum up

the last of them from the carpet.

Hey, you know what?

She was right.

You are cute.

Santa Claus.

Hey.

Have you ever had hepatitis?

Darned tags.

You have a pair of scissors?

No. Have you ever had hepatitis?

Cute kids.

They part of you guys?

No. They're survivors just like you are.

Neat girl, huh?

If you like the type.

Come on, kids. Come with me.

Have you ever had hepatitis?

No. I had mono once, though.

Caught it from this guy named Randy Sharp.

Anemia? No.

Are you pregnant?

No. Thought I was once, though.

That's not important.

That's what you think.

It was the longest three weeks of my life.

You know, I can't remember.

How much blood were we expected to get from these people?

- Uh.. 300 cc. - Yes, that's it.

That can't be right. If we draw 300 cc a day, they'll expire altogether.

No, I don't think so, now that we've terminated brain functions.

I mean, they're brain-dead.

All they can do now is manufacture blood.

Well, maybe.

We aren't gonna get anything like 300 cc out of those children.

No. But, we will out of that teenager.

I hope she's just as healthy as she looks.

Boy, did you see her hair?

What I'd give to have hair like that.

What is this place?

Do you have diabetes?

I mean, is this some sort of, I don't know, underground hospital or what?

You're a very strong-willed young lady.

Cancer.

You have cancer?

No, I am a Cancer.

I just want to know where I am and what I'm doing here.

Oops. Oh, gosh. Could you hand me that arterial... Got it.

Well, it's up to the respirators now.

Why don't we prep the children?

When we're finished with them,

we can start on that girl.

They're so cute. I love working with kids.

Yeah. Oh. Don't forget the lights.

Are you taking any medication?

Have you had any medication within the last 24 hours?

Where's my sister?

Dr. Carter, may I see you a moment?

All right.

I mean, she should be here by now, shouldn't she,

even if Hector didn't show up?

Your sister is dead.

What?

I realize this comes as a shock,

but she had been exposed

and in 48 hours she would have died anyway.

It was quite painless, I can assure you.

You both have nice, strong hearts.

Are we going to get shots? No.

No shots. I promise.

Audrey? They're not back yet.

Listen, we may have a situation on our hands here.

I can't locate Rogers anyplace in the compound.

I can't rule out the possibility

that he may already have gone into transition.

We can't wait for Audrey.

You're gonna have to start with the children and that one in there.

We need blood to develop the serum.

We don't have enough for everyone.

We're not robots, Doctor. We're not all going to fall over at one time.

Some of us will last a little longer

while others of us have more immediate needs.

You're smart. You can figure that out.

Psychology is not an exact science,

but, my God, man, anybody can add two and two.

I'm very sorry about your sister. It's a tragedy.

It truly is.

And I can understand your hostility.

But no matter how upset you are,

breaking an expensive piece of equipment won't solve anything.

I mean, striking out at inanimate objects is really quite childish.

Even you should be able to realize that.

Jerk.

PLAYING IN CAR: ♪ "Making Me Blue" ♪

♪ My baby's out makin' me blue tonight ♪

Howdy, partner. How you doing?

Who are you?

The name is Hec. Hec Gomez.

Hey, them's real fine duds you got there.

You a Maytag repairman?

How did you find this place?

Well, this lady back in LA sent me.

Hey, you been to LA lately? It's cleaned out, man, I'm telling you.

Hey, come here. I want to show you something. Come on.

Hey, you know how the harbor freeway is always bumper to bumper?

Well, you can go 150 mph if you want to.

Me and this baby,

we go through them freeways like turkey crap through a tin horn.

Hey...

You like girls?

Look in here.

She's dead. She ain't dead.

See, this lady shot her up with sodium Pentothal

to make this fellow think she was dead.

So, you wouldn't suck her blood out, you asshole.

Son of a bitch!

Shit!

WILSON: Excuse me, everyone.

I'm afraid our adolescent guest has escaped.

She's quite hostile.

She may have already gone topside,

so, please take a moment and look around you.

Check those rooms, and I'll check this one.

Let's go.

Everything is under control.

Good.

You said no shots.

This isn't a shot, sweetheart. It'll just...

You'll just giggle

and then you'll feel a little sleepy.

That's right.

And when you wake up, do you know where you'll be?

Where?

With Santa Claus at the North Pole.

In fact, you'll live with Santa Claus for the rest of your life.

Hey, there's no such thing as Santa Claus.

CARTER: What?

You don't believe in Santa?

Life support systems.

Wilson, come with me.

Keep an eye on her.

Right. CARTER: Now, Wilson!

Forget the door. Turn off the alarm.

I don't know.

My parents told me never to breathe anything from strangers.

Hey!

Get your hands up.

What are you guys doing?

They said if we breathe this,

we could go to the North Pole and see Santa Claus.

- That's so sick. - Hey!

- Holy shit! - Whoa.

. Sam? I give! I give!

They said you were dead.

They were exaggerating totally.

Hey, that's a great outfit.

Thanks. Is that guy in the hallway dead?

Don't.

Well?

You can give up if you want to, Wilson.

But we still have the two children

and that girl.

I forgot my football.

SAMANTHA: We'll get you another football.

REGINA: We'll get you a stadium.

Now!

Get everybody topside, now!

What about them?

Screw them.

SAMANTHA: Okay, kids. Going up.

Put your hands down, kids.

God, don't be so stupid.

NOW PLAYING: ♪ "King County Woman" ♪

- Come on, kids. - Who are the kids?

- I'm Brian. - I'm Sarah.

Yeah and I'm Aunt Reg and that's Aunt Sam

and that's Uncle Hector.

Can I have my bunny? In a minute.

Beat feet, Uncle Hector. Uncle Hector?

Hey, it's my bunny, you know.

♪ I met her on the highway ♪

♪ I picked her up outside of Portland town ♪

- Where have you been? - Can we change this?

Arranging a hotfoot for your friends.

I really hate this music.

Give me a break.

- What are you doing? - I'm not kidding.

I get carsick without my bunny.

Come on, Reg. Give the kid the bunny.

We've stopped. Why have we stopped?

Son of a...

Don't shoot them, you idiot.

Okay, kids. Cover your eyes for Uncle Hector.

Hey! Think tank, huh?

Look, couldn't we just, like, leave?

Think over this.

We can get them.

- Hey, we'll be taking off now. - We have to get them.

Look us up at Chasen's. We'll party down, huh?

Come on. Come on. This is fun.

The kids would like to say goodbye. It's been fun.

Hope to see you around real soon.

Is that gasoline I smell?

Wait. Wait, don't! Don't!

Wow. All right, Hector.

Let go of her!

Leave her alone.

Hector!

It's okay. It's all right.

It's okay.

I got you. It's all right. It's okay.

I got you.

Okay, kids. Smile. Come on.

God, you're so cute. You're just so cute. Wait.

Mr. Bunny needs to be in this picture, too.

So, okay, that's great.

- Can I take this jacket off? It itches. - No, you can't.

I just want to take another picture. All right?

Please? No. Now you just hold on to that.

Stay there, okay? Perfect. Oh, brother.

There's still a few zombies around.

Don't slouch.

And, Sarah, hold that.

Smile.

Did the flash go off?

You can't tell on these things.

Hey, if you're gonna throw those guns away, can I have one?

Don't look at me.

I mean, I don't know where she gets that stuff.

Smile, Hec.

Handsome.

Maybe I could be a nun or something.

Oh, I just love these pictures.

You've only taken about 30 of them.

You know, we're gonna need some more film soon.

Let me straighten your tie. Okay.

God, they look like the Brady Bunch.

What are you waiting for?

Can I see them?

We're waiting for the light to change.

We do not cross against the light.

Are you nuts, Auntie Regina?

You may as well face the facts, Samantha.

The whole burden of civilization has fallen upon us.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means we do not cross against the light.

That's totally stupid.

There's nobody here. See? We're talking ghost town.

See what happens?

God. I'm sorry, but you shouldn't cross against the light like that.

Hey, you guys are survivors, too, huh?

Thank you.

What?

Nothing. Great car.

Thanks. I have 23 of them. You want to go for a ride?

More than you know.

We don't know anything about this guy.

Where's he from? What's his name?

What's your name?

Danny Mason Keener.

Danny Mason Keener, okay?

Yeah, all right.

Well, just be back by midnight, okay?

Midnight?

The burden of civilization is on us, okay?

Oh, yeah. Bitching, isn't it?

NOW PLAYING: ♪ "Learn To Love Again" ♪

♪ You think that it's over

♪ But you can't explain why ♪

♪ You wait at home waiting for the phone to ring ♪

♪ But your spirits are dragging ♪

♪ And you wander endlessly ♪

♪ Trying to forget about ♪

♪ How happy we used to be ♪

♪ 'Cause if it's right ♪

♪ Please don't try to fight it, baby ♪

♪ Whoa, if it's wrong ♪

♪ We can let it slip, baby ♪

♪ "Cause we got a lot of love for giving ♪

♪ We got a lot of life worth living ♪

♪ We're gonna find it sometime, baby ♪

♪ We can learn to love again ♪

♪ Oh, when love is magic ♪

♪ And you're not sure how to feel ♪

♪ But if you can touch it then ♪

♪ It has to be real ♪

♪ I know it's tragic ♪

♪ To give up so easily ♪

♪ So, now I'm giving everything ♪

♪ Just to make you see ♪

♪ If it's right ♪

♪ Don't try to fight it ♪

♪ And if it's wrong ♪

♪ We can let it slip away ♪

♪ "Cause we got a lot of love for giving ♪

♪ We got a lot of life worth living ♪

♪ We're gonna find that sometimes, baby ♪

♪ We can learn to love again ♪

♪ Listen to your heart ♪

♪ If you can't make up your mind ♪

♪ The moment can be lost so easily ♪

♪ Oh, now's the time to start ♪

♪ If you're looking for mine ♪

♪ Hopefully, you will see ♪

♪ Endlessly ♪

♪ That you and me ♪

♪ We got a lot of love for giving ♪

♪ We got a lot of life worth living ♪

♪ We're gonna find our place among the stars ♪

♪ I know this dream is far from over ♪

♪ Starting tonight gonna start all over ♪

♪ We're gonna find it sometime ♪

♪ I know that ♪

♪ We can learn to love, baby, yeah ♪

♪ We got a lot of love for giving ♪

♪ We got a lot of life worth living ♪

♪ We're gonna find our place among the stars ♪

♪ I know this dream is far from over ♪

♪ Starting tonight gonna start all over ♪